


the boy who had no choice [d.m]

by nyxmalf0y



Series: the boy who had no choice [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action, F/M, Ravenclaw, Romance, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 179,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxmalf0y/pseuds/nyxmalf0y
Summary: 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s)
Series: the boy who had no choice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167002
Kudos: 1





	1. one

ELARA didn't think she could pull this off.

  
She considered going and finding Draco to explain the situation but she couldn't seem to find the proper opportunity to sneak away - at least not when she was sandwiched between her sister and Alice Thomas who were currently engaged in a heated political discussion.

  
"Isn't that enough politics for the day?" Elara groaned, clamping her hands over her ears. "You two have nearly talked my ears off."

  
"I second that," said George Weasley from across the compartment.

  
"We do have an Ear Regrowing potion if you need one, El," Fred responded with a wink. The corner of Elara's mouth quirked up in a smile.

  
Her sister, Freya, huffed, settling back in her seat and turning to look out the window as the train crossed the bridge. "It's not my fault Alice thinks - "

  
"Enough!" Elara interrupted, shooting her elder sister a glare as Alice giggled.  
  
"It's quite alright," the older Slytherin girl said, cheerily. "It's interesting to hear your sister's views on the Wizarding World."  
  
"Yes. Well, I kindly ask the both of you to take those discussions elsewhere, preferably not right by my ear." Elara seized the opportunity to jump to her feet. "I think I need to walk it off."  
  
She could go find Draco's compartment and -  
  
"I'll come with." Freya made a move to stand but Elara was already outside the compartment, sliding the door shut, effectively telling her sister she'd like to be alone.  
  
"Oh, for fuck's sake!"  
  
Elara started at the voice behind her and whirled to face Ron Weasley who turned a quite curious shade of burgundy when he noticed it was her he'd just bumped into.  
  
"I - oh - I'm sorry -" he stuttered, his shaggy red hair falling into his eyes. "I didn't see you there, Elara -"  
  
"Don't sweat it, Weasley." She gave him a nudge with her elbow. "Your brothers are in there." She jerked her head towards the compartment door.  
  
"Thanks." Ron smiled, sheepishly, and slipped past her as she turned to go find Draco's compartment.  
  
She'd never done this before - she didn't really know what to expect. Would he be pissed? Or would he exude the cold indifference he did with every other matter on the face of this planet?  
Elara couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at the thought. Trust Draco to play everything like it was a game.  
  
In some ways, it was a talent.  
  
"Looking for someone, Elena?"  
  
Elara froze at the voice and closed her eyes for a few seconds, praying she'd imagined it.  
  
"Oh, come now, don't look so horrified."  
  
It really was him.  
  
"Seeing as you can't even get my name right, I don't see why I should answer." She finally opened her eyes to look straight into the serpent-like ones of Fletcher Smith.  
  
Fletcher smirked, his dark hair ruffling from the wind blowing in through the window next to them as the train chugged along."You know, you can always ditch Malfoy and come along my way."  
  
Elara gagged, mockingly. "I'd rather be Kissed by a Dementor." She crossed her arms over her chest, feigning nonchalance. "And there is nothing going on between Malfoy and I."  
  
Fletcher's eyes darkened. "So you'll deny that you're on your way to his compartment, right now?"  
  
Elara rolled her eyes, not missing a beat. "Yes, I will deny that, seeing as it's not true. Now, can you move out of my way?"  
  
"Look at the look on your face," sneered Fletcher. "You look like a proper prostitute. On your way to give Malfoy exactly what he wants, whenever he wants, huh?"  
  
Elara's eyes widened and her arms fell to her sides, her fists clenched. Rage flickered in her like a torch. "Say that again, I dare you."  
  
Fletcher's grin made her stomach twist. "I said you look like a proper prostitute. Just like your mothe -"  
  
He suddenly went rigid, his eyes wide open, shock plastered on his freckled face. Then he started to fall backwards, as still as a stone, revealing the person who had effectively hexed him.  
  
Draco Malfoy sidestepped him, gracefully, letting Fletcher's Petrificus Totalus-ed body fall with a thud to the floor.  
  
Stunned, Elara could only blink down at Fletcher's temporarily immobile body. "Draco," she said after a moment, "we're not supposed to use magic until we're on Hogwarts grounds."  
  
Draco pocketed his wand, tilting his head towards the window. "And we've technically been on Hogwarts grounds for about forty seconds now."  
  
He was right. She'd been so caught up with Fletcher that she hadn't realised the train was slowing to a stop.  
  
"You didn't have to -"  
  
Draco gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Can you stop pretending you care about him so we can go?"  
  
Elara opened her mouth to retort but was drowned out by the sound of about a thousand compartment doors sliding open and young witches and wizards flooding out.  
  
She felt a flicker of panic before Draco met her eyes over the heads of three first years who were leaving the compartment between them.  
  
His intentions were clear through his grey eyes. Come. As we agreed.  
  
Elara found herself wavering but then Draco had turned and made his way back through the crowd, his tall frame visible until he passed into his compartment at the end of the hallway.  
  
She couldn't go back to her compartment - her sister would never let her out of her sight until they were inside the castle. Elara could only hope Freya wouldn't wait around outside the train for her.  
  
Turning on her heel, Elara slid into the nearest empty compartment and slid the door shut. She had to wait it out.  
  
Once the fray had died down, she slipped out and checked the hallway. No sign of her elder sister looking for her.  
  
Elara made her way to Draco's compartment, quickly. They couldn't afford to be caught.  
  
She reached out and pulled the door open, stepping in and shutting it tight behind her.  
  
Draco was standing by the window, his back to her, watching the last of the students leave the train station.  
  
She knew he was aware of her presence but he made no move to show it. His hands stayed in the pockets of his black trousers, the light of the compartment making his blond hair appear as white as ice.  
  
"You're late." His voice was quiet but as sharp as a blade. Elara was not fazed.  
  
"Oh, sorry, would you prefer I came here, pushing and shoving my way through about a hundred students? I doubt anyone would've seen me," she replied, sarcastically as his long fingers reached and pulled the blind down over the window. "Or would you prefer I apparate to you whenever you ask -"  
  
In a movement so quick Elara barely registered it, Draco turned and dragged her to him, one hand on her lower back, the other catching her jaw as his mouth dipped to hers.  
  
Elara felt like Fletcher as he fell to the ground and went rigid before she realised what was happening.  
  
Draco's lips were exactly as she'd remembered and she let herself relax, her eyes fluttering shut as her fingers dug into the fabric of his black shirt.  
  
His touch was searing as he grazed his hands up her arms and then pulled the hair tie out of her hair. "Leave it down," he muttered against her lips as her hair tumbled down to the middle of her back.  
  
Elara could barely focus on what he was saying because he was then picking her up and balancing her on top of him as he settled onto the seat.  
  
He kissed her, feverishly, as if he'd been starving the entire summer and Elara returned the sentiment, her fingers running through his soft hair.  
  
It had grown longer over the summer and had become slightly wavy - she could feel it under her finger tips. He'd also grown taller and gained some more muscle over the holidays; it was evident as she pressed her body against his, feeling the length of it.  
  
"Draco -" she gasped out as he tore his mouth from hers and began to leave hot kisses along her jaw and neck. Her grip on his shoulders tightened. "We don't have much time -"  
  
"I am well aware," he ground out, his chest heaving as much as hers. His teeth grazed against the sensitive spot on her neck and she suppressed a whimper.  
  
"Then hurry up," she panted, already reaching for his belt.  
  
She felt him smile against her skin but couldn't care less that she was inflating his ego. She was desperate for him and he knew it.  
  
To her relief, he didn't prolong it any longer and made quick work of gathering her robes above her hips and lowering her down onto him, inch by inch.  
  
Elara cried out at the feeling, her eyes squeezing shut as her head fell back, the ends of her hair brushing against Draco's hand that rested low on her back. "Oh my god -"  
  
He pressed open mouth kisses along the column of her throat, steadily guiding her down until he was fully inside her.  
  
"Fuck -" he breathed against her skin, his long fingers tightening over her hips. It was the hottest thing Elara had ever heard - and she'd heard it from him alot.  
  
It had been three months without this and Draco obviously wasn't going to waste any time. He began to guide Elara's hips, helping her ride him and swallowing her cries as he reached places inside of her that made her see stars.  
  
She nipped at his lower lip and he let out a low growl, capturing her mouth fully again as he thrust sharply upwards into her. She couldn't help the loud moan that escaped her lips and vaguely wondered if Draco had cast a Muffliato charm on the compartment.  
  
"No one can hear us." He seemed to read her mind as his one hand tangled in her hair, tugging her head back so he could ravish the column of her throat. Elara was putty in his hands as she let her fingers grip into his shoulders, continuing to move on him.  
  
She felt the familiar coil in the pit of her stomach and gasped. "Draco - "  
  
She pulled back to look at him and was stunned at the finality in his eyes - he looked like he was saying goodbye. She began to slow her pace, intending to ask why but was cut off by the mask slipping back onto his handsome features, all trace of that unidentified emotion wiped.  
  
His long fingers slid up to her throat, his hand wrapping around it before he pulled her to his mouth again, muffling her whimpers as he thrust into her again, causing her to shatter in his arms.  
  
Elara's vision went white for a split second, her legs shaking, as ecstasy ravaged through her body. Draco picked up his pace, coaxing her through it and chasing his own high at the same time.

  
She draped her arms over his neck, feeling his damp skin and dropped her head to his shoulder, biting into the fabric of his shirt when he hit sensitive areas inside her.  
  
He let one hand drop to the small of her back, the other staying tangled in her hair just before he let out a guttural moan and emptied into her, panting against her neck.  
  
Elara shut her eyes, her chest heaving, trying to catch her breath for a second. Sex with Draco always seemed to tire her out to the point where she felt she could sleep for a week afterwards.  
  
She would've fallen asleep there and then if Draco hadn't lifted her off him, his hands gentle on her hips. He got to his feet, redoing his belt and then casting a Cleaning charm over the both of them.  
  
Elara reached for where he had tossed her hair tie away and began to gather her long, curly hair into a ponytail once again. "You know, I was on my way here to tell you I wouldn't be able to come to you today." She adjusted her robes, ashamed that she hadn't even taken them off. "There were so many people in my compartment and we'd all agreed to go to the castle together and my sister never lets me out of her sight until we're safely - "  
  
"Well, you're lucky you never have to do it again." Draco's tone was clipped as he lifted the blind once more.  
  
Elara laughed, standing. "Well, yes, this is the first time on the train but - "  
  
"No. This is the last time." He finally turned to face her, icy eyes meeting hers.  
  
She felt the smile slip off her face. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Exactly what I said. This was the last time."  
  
"But - what - why?" she spluttered, utterly confused. She searched his face for an answer but he was as closed off as usual.  
  
"You need a reason?" Draco raised an eyebrow at her with a scoff. "I just don't want to anymore."  
  
"That wasn't what you were saying five minutes ago when you were - "  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Obviously. It'd been three months." The corner of his lips quirked as he slid open the compartment door. "Consider this a goodbye fuck."  
  
Elara stood, dumbstruck, for half a second before she stormed out after him, catching his arm just as he stepped off the train. "Hold on a minute. We've been doing this since the beginning of fifth year and you've never even once hinted that you were bored - "  
  
"I didn't say I was bored," Draco responded, casually. "I said I didn't want to anymore."  
  
"Yes, well, that implies being bored because there's no other reason you would want to stop!" Elara shot back. "I deserve a better explanation than that, Draco. What - does one of your friends have a crush on me? Is that it? You so honourably step down to give them a chance?"  
  
Draco let out a dry laugh. "Hardly. I don't think any of my friends even know you exist - "  
  
Elara snorted. "With you staring at me like you wanted to strip me and bend me over wherever we were, I find that hard to believe."  
  
Lie. Draco hardly glanced at her unless they were having sex. It had frustrated her at the beginning but she'd grown used to it over the course of the last year.  
  
Her words seemed to piss Draco off because he finally turned to face her, his wolfish eyes flashing. "No one knows about us," he hissed. "And no one ever will."  
  
Elara decided to milk it. "I don't see why they can't. Now that it's all over - "  
  
His large hand was at her throat in a second, long fingers squeezing, lightly, not enough to hurt but enough to make her gasp. "If you tell anyone, Jacobs, I will ruin you."  
  
Her hand flew up to grasp his wrist but she didn't flinch away from his gaze. "What are you so afraid of? Lots of guys would want to be in your place - "  
  
His eyes flashed again. "I don't want you anymore, Jacobs. Get over it."  
  
With that, he released her and strode away, leaving her cold.  
  
By the time Elara made it to the castle, her head was still reeling. She considered skipping the Great Feast but decided she couldn't give Draco the satisfaction of knowing he'd jolted her.  
  
So what if he didn't want to have sex with her anymore? She could easily find someone else.  
  
But Draco had been the best - she doubted she could find someone better.  
  
She took a minute to examine herself in one of the mirrors outside the Great Hall and quickly fixed her hair and robes. She didn't need Draco Malfoy - especially if he didn't want her.  
  
"Where have you been?" Freya appeared in front of her as soon as she stepped into the Great Hall. "You disappeared on the train -"  
  
"Fletcher bothered me," grumbled Elara. "I had to hide to try and avoid him."  
  
Freya rolled her eyes. "I'll talk to him later - "  
  
"It's fine. I dealt with it," interrupted Elara, giving her sister a reassuring smile. She didn't seem convinced.  
  
"Have the first-years been sorted?" Elara inquired to try and change the subject, peering around her sister.  
  
Freya nodded. "Lots of Hufflepuffs. More for me to look out for."  
  
Elara took her hand. "We all know you're going to be Head Girl this year, Freya."  
  
She shook her head. "It could be Polly - "  
  
"No, it couldn't," said Elara, firmly. "Now, go back to your Hufflepuffs. I'm sorry I worried you."  
  
"It's my job," Freya replied, giving her a quick hug. The chattering and clattering around them nearly drowned out her words. "I'll see you later, El."  
  
Elara made her way to the Ravenclaw table, searching for her friends.  
  
"El!"  
  
She turned to see Tracy and Indigo waving, vigorously, at her and hurried towards them, glad to see her best friends after three months.  
  
"We've been looking for you everywhere!" Tracy said from across Elara as she slid in next to Indigo. "Why are you so late?"  
  
"Fletcher was bothering me on the train."  
  
"I made you your plate." Indigo gestured to the plate piled high with food sitting in front of her. "Fletcher's an idiot. He's been obsessed with you since first year."  
  
"I'd say from the first day he saw her." Stuart Banks leaned over to join the conversation. "You've tanned, Elara."  
  
She responded with a smile. "We went on vacation to Spain."  
  
"It sounded delightful," put in Tracy. "I was pouring over your letters, trying to find a way to convince Mum and Dad to take us on a vacation too."  
  
"Tracy, if you want a vacation, just walk to your kitchen. It's about half a mile away from your bedroom," scoffed Indigo as she bit into a lemon tart.  
  
Stuart laughed, snatching the tart from Indigo and devouring it in one bite. "She does have a point there, Trace."  
  
Tracy looked offended. "My house is not that big -"  
  
"It really is." Elara shot her a smile, spooning some pudding into her mouth. Her lips were still sensitive from all the kissing Draco and her had done.  
  
Draco.  
  
She tried to resist the urge to look for him. He'd be seated at the Slytherin table right behind her - if he was even here.  
  
Sneaking a glance over her shoulder, she could see Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. But there was no familiar blond head anywhere near them.  
  
She furrowed her eyebrows, turning back to her friends who were immersed in their conversation about the summer holidays.  
  
"You alright, Elara?" one of the second year Ravenclaws caught her eye from a few seats down.  
  
Elara immediately pasted a smile on her face. "I'm fine, Lucy. I must say though, I love how you cut your hair!"  
  
Lucy flushed red, gingerly reaching to touch her short auburn locks. "Thanks! I kind of miss -"  
  
"Miss Jacobs."  
  
Elara's fingers froze mid-movement as she'd been reaching for an apple. Her friends went silent almost immediately as Elara turned to look up at Professor Snape who was standing behind her, his hands clasped behind his back.  
  
"A word, Miss Jacobs."  
  
Within a split second, Elara ran through all of the things she'd ever done wrong that could possibly get her in trouble with Snape - there was an endless list.  
  
"Yes, Sir," she mumbled, getting to her feet. Her friends shot her sympathetic looks as she followed Snape out of the Great Hall, keeping her head down.  
  
What had she done? She hoped she wouldn't be expelled - her parents would probably murder her and she really didn't feel like dying this year.  
  
As they passed out through the enormous doors, Elara caught a flash of white blond hair and looked up to see Draco walking towards them.  
  
His eyes met Snape's and then slid to hers but she couldn't make out the emotion in them before he looked away and continued towards the Slytherin table.  
  
The doors shut behind Snape and Elara and he finally turned to face her in the empty hallway.  
  
"Professor?" Elara raised her eyebrows, expectantly, her voice quiet.  
  
"Miss Jacobs, you are going to do me a favour this year," Snape drawled, fixing those steely dark eyes on her.  
  
A favour? Some part of Elara eased at the realisation that she wasn't in trouble.  
  
"What kind of -"  
  
"You are going to keep an eye on Draco Malfoy and report back to me any suspicious movements he makes. You will not disclose this to anybody. If you do, you can rest assured that I will make sure you are expelled and I will take a hundred points from Ravenclaw."  
  
Elara looked at him like he'd just told her his mother wanted to marry her. "I'm sorry - what? I'm supposed to spy on Draco?"  
  
"It is the headmaster's wish," he said with a sneer. "And it is not lost on me that you and Mr. Malfoy have been inexplicably...close since last year."  
  
Elara tried to show no reaction but she could feel her face heating up. "I don't understand what you're insinuating -"  
  
"There is nothing to insinuate. I know everything that I must be aware of. You will watch Malfoy closely and tell me his movements. That is all. You may go."  
  
"But you haven't given me any information at all -"  
  
"I said you may go, Miss Jacobs," Snape snarled and Elara dug her nails into her palms before turning and heading towards the Ravenclaw tower, her appetite vaporised.  
  
She had a gut feeling this was going to be an eventful year.


	2. two

THE FOLLOWING WEEK, Elara was late to class.

It wasn't like she'd overslept. In fact, she'd barely been able to get any sleep the whole week and had ended up dragging herself out of bed at four in the morning out of pure frustration today.

"Where were you? You weren't in bed when we got up," hissed Indigo as Elara slipped into the seat next to her, ducking her head to avoid being seen by Professor Flitwick.

"I couldn't sleep," Elara mumbled, opening up her book. "I went to watch the sunrise."

"Home sick?" Indigo asked, softly, jotting down something Professor Flitwick had just said.

"I guess." Elara forced herself to tune out the thoughts that had been plaguing her since her conversation with Professor Snape yesterday evening. She had to focus on her classes. She'd deal with Malfoy later.

"Right! Now that we know the basics, let's start working on the Aqua Eructo charm!"

Just as the words left Professor Flitwick's lips, a sudden jet of water came blasting out of a nearby Gryffindor's wand, dousing the tiny professor from head to toe.

"Professor! I'm so - I didn't mean to - It just happened -" stuttered the alarmed Gryffindor, turning tomato red as the class burst into laughter.

Even Elara couldn't help the smile on her face as she watched the Charms professor blink twice in surprise before casting a drying charm on himself. "Right - well- let's try to avoid such mishaps -"

As if on cue, another burst of water flew across the room and hit him square in the chest. The class erupted once more as Josie Hill scurried over to the professor, close to tears. "I'm so sorry, Professor! I didn't mean to! I just said 'Aqua Eruc-"

"Don't!" yelled Professor Flitwick and Josie's lips clamped shut as the class giggled behind her.

"I don't want to be too presumptuous," drawled Stuart from the desk behind Elara and Indigo. "But I feel like we might get wet."

The next class was Defence Against the Dark Arts and Elara could feel the dread twist in her stomach as she and her friends trekked to the dungeon classroom. Not only was Snape the Professor this year but they also shared this class with Slytherin.

Snape and Malfoy. Just her luck.

"I'm not sure I cast the proper drying charm," Tracy said, wringing out her still damp hair. "My clothes are dry but my hair is still dripping."

"It's probably incomplete," Elara replied, "Stuart gave you a start while you were doing it, didn't he?" With a quick twirl of her wand, she dried Tracy's hair. "There."

"Thanks, El," her best friend replied, cheerfully, linking one arm through Elara's and the other through Indigo's. "Did you see Olivia this morning? I think Troy broke up with her."

"No way," gaped Stuart from beside Elara, "They'd been together for years."

"Since second year, wasn't it?" Elara asked. "What a waste. Imagine spending four years with someone just for them to dump you."

"That's not very romantic," Indigo piped up, her silky dark hair catching the dim light in the hallway. "I'm sure they made the best of the time they had."

Elara shook her head. "It just seems so pointless -"

"Oh, hush, Elara, you've dated some questionable creatures," chided Stuart, digging his elbow into her ribs. She whacked his arm away.

"Creatures? Plural? I've only ever had one boyfriend," she responded, indignantly.

Tracy clicked her tongue. "Now, now, don't you remember Andrew in first year?"

Elara groaned as her friends burst into laughter. "Please don't bring that up. I'm still mortified."

They passed into Snape's classroom and immediately quietened down. It was so cold and gloomy Elara shivered.

She took her seat next to Stuart and let the DADA book thud against the desk, displacing a layer of dust.

"Blimey," coughed Stuart, "doesn't Snape clean his classroom?"

"Is that you talking shit about the Head of our house, Banks?"

Both Elara and Stuart looked up to meet Blaise Zabini's dark eyes. He stood by their desk, a look of utter disdain plastered across his face as he looked them both up and down.

Elara raised a dark eyebrow. "Come now, Zabini. It should be obvious to even your lacking mind that this classroom is absolutely filthy."

Stuart's shoulders shook with silent laughter as Blaise's mouth turned down, his gaze turning dark. "The only filthy thing I see here is you, Jacobs." His lip curled. "But that should be expected, seeing as you spread your legs for anyone who even looks your way - "

Elara's blood curdled and she made to move before Draco's sharp voice cut in. "Blaise."

He was seated at the table at the back of the classroom, in the row next to Elara's desk. She hadn't noticed him when she'd walked in.

He was leaned back in his chair, one arm draped over the back of it, the other's elbow resting on the armrest. A perfect picture of nonchalance.

Not for the first time, Elara was struck by how beautiful he was with his silver eyes, straight nose and chiseled jaw. He radiated pureblood energy - he knew he was powerful and he reveled in it.

And yet, he'd chosen her to spend his time with for a year. Granted, they didn't talk much and they could only stand each other long enough for them both to climax - but it'd still been her, out of everyone.

But that was over now, Elara reminded herself, as Draco jerked his head to the side, telling Blaise to come.

Blaise looked like he wanted to say more but he could only give her another disgusted look before moving to sit next to Draco.

"Insufferable," muttered Stuart under his breath and Elara couldn't help but agree.

To her relief, Snape didn't so much as look at her as he explained how they'd be learning how to cast non-verbal spell today. She didn't think she'd be able to stop her face from reddening at the thought of Snape knowing about her and Draco.

"Each of you has to duel with every other student in the classroom before this class is over," Snape said, monotonously. "That way, you'll learn how to respond to people with different manners of casting spells. Please strain your miniscule brains and try to remember what I explained last lesson."

He cast a look over at Draco. "And no dark magic, please. I don't particularly want to clean blood off the floor again."

Elara and Indigo shared a look as Snape made them line up along the walls on opposite sides of the classroom, levitating all the furniture into the corner of the large room to make space.

"Quick, non-verbal spells. No Dark Magic. Go."

Elara tried to follow the instructions Snape had given for casting non-verbal spells. It required pure concentration and discipline was what he had said but nobody could seem to make anything more substantial than a wisp emit from the tips of their wands. Even the easiest spells wouldn't work.

After about five minutes of silence, Elara heard Draco sneer from the opposite side of the room. "I don't see how I'm supposed to learn anything when no one else seems to be able to cast a simple spell."

She glanced over at him; he was facing a fellow Slytherin who had his wand pointed at him. She recognized him as their Keeper in Quidditch, Kyle.

"No one else has got it either, Draco," grumbled his opponent, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to concentrate.

Draco scoffed and flicked his wrist, his wand a blur. Kyle's wand went flying out of his hand and skittered across the floor.

The class gaped at him in awe.

"That was Expelliarmus," Draco snarled at Kyle. "It disarms your opponent. Or do I have to teach you that too?" His icy eyes glinted in the light.

"How did he do that?" Tracy whispered from next to Elara. "Even Hermione can't cast non verbal spells yet."

"Draco," Elara mused, watching as he twirled his wand in his slender fingers, still staring Kyle down, "is much more dangerous than Hermione."

She looked up and caught Professor Snape's eye from where he was standing by the door, hands clasped behind his back, surveying her with hawk eyes. She ducked her head.

"Change of plans," Snape drawled, striding into the middle of the room. "We will form pairs. You lot obviously aren't talented enough to cast a simple non-verbal spell."

Indigo rolled her eyes and muttered, "Maybe it's because you're not talented enough to teach -"

Stuart bumped his shoulder against hers to shut her up as Snape turned to face them. "Miss White, you can pair up with Miss Chang. Banks, you're with Zabini."

Stuart groaned under his breath but Snape silenced him with a sharp look. "Jacobs, you're with Malfoy."

Elara's heart seemed to thud to a stop as she stared at Snape who had the closest thing to a smirk on his face that she'd ever seen.

He moved down the line, pairing up people randomly.

"My condolences," Stuart grinned at Elara who shook her head.

"I feel like I should be giving you mine," she retorted, cheekily, glancing over at Blaise who seemed as annoyed to be paired up with Stuart.

Stuart shut his eyes, inhaling deeply. "Let's hope I can manage enough restraint not to tear him apart."

The knot of dread in Elara's stomach only tightened as her friends dispersed to find their partners. She couldn't bring herself to look at Draco but she could sense him move closer.

Her senses had gotten so finely attuned to him over the past year; she felt her heartbeat quicken with expectation just by feeling him near.

She tried to explain to her body that she wouldn't be having sex with him anytime soon - or ever again.

"Don't look so terrified, Jacobs. I'll make sure you don't bleed too much."

The cockiness in his voice made Elara's temper flare up.

"I can't make the same promise, Malfoy," she replied, coolly, meeting his eyes. It jolted something within her - they resembled a wolf hunting his prey.

"Get in position," Draco ordered, twirling his wand around the back of his hand and back into his palm.

"Which one?" The words slipped past her lips before she could register it, her tone cheeky. She hid the surprise on her own face and instead, smiled, slowly.

Draco's eyes darkened and he glanced around, quickly, making sure no one had heard. Luckily, the other students had managed to start casting spells with Snape's help and were all absorbed in their dueling.

"It was a joke, Malfoy." Elara pushed away strands of her dark hair that fell into her face. "What? You've never heard one before?"

"I don't see how it was a joke if it didn't make me laugh," he answered, dryly.

"You'll find you're excessively repugnant to be around, let alone make laugh," Elara scoffed, finally getting into dueling position.

Draco's mouth turned up in a smirk. "Touché, Jacobs."

She could feel Snape's eyes on them, burning into her skin and she inhaled, deeply, pointing her wand at Draco.

Expelliarmus.

She frowned in concentration, fixing her eyes on her wand in an attempt to get it to do something - anything. Now that she knew Draco was skilled in casting non-verbal spells, it put even more pressure on her to perform. She wasn't going to let him be better than her at anything.

"Come on, Jacobs." Draco was prepared to deflect any spell that came his way.

It flattered her to know he thought she'd be able to succeed - especially after seeing him so smug and nonchalant with Kyle a few moments earlier.

She tried to channel all her energy down her wrist and into her wand but nothing would produce the familiar tingle in her fingers that came alongside casting a spell.

"And here I was thinking that you'd actually be able to do it," Draco chuckled as her shoulders sagged and she dropped her hand. "You really are inept at everything, aren't you, Jacobs? Most people have a talent but you can't seem to do anything but..."

He didn't finish the sentence but she knew what he was implying and she felt the blood rush to her head. She was so sick of everyone implying she was a whore just because she'd had her fair share of guys - no more than what the other girls had had too. Why was everyone picking on her?

"Maybe you should drop out of Hogwarts," Draco went on, that smug smile on his face. "I'm sure you can get a job somewhere anyway. I know you can be very...persuasive."

Elara felt her nerve endings sizzle and it was just too much. After being practically jilted by him last week and Blaise's comment at the beginning of class, her temper had already been simmering beneath the surface - but now, with Draco's sarcastic jabs, it expanded and overflowed. Her wand hand jerked up and Expelliarmus!

The smirk slipped off Draco's face as his wand went flying out of his hand, tumbling to the floor and skittering a few meters away.

Elara refrained from jumping with joy and instead, twirled her wand just like Malfoy had done when he'd cast the very same spell on Kyle.

"It takes two to tango, Malfoy."


	3. three

DRACO looked so good in his Quidditch sweater Elara thought she might internally combust.

It was just a plain green and grey sweatshirt but it somehow made him look so much more boyish and softened his eternally harsh features to the point where she had to refrain from striding right up to the Slytherin table and running her fingers through his soft hair.

"Why is Malfoy wearing his Quidditch sweater?" she asked out loud, abruptly, effectively cutting into Indigo and Tracy's intense conversation about whether they could manage to sneak into the Gryffindor common room to hang out with the Weasley twins. "I thought he gave it up."

Stuart perked his ears up, looking past Indigo to see Draco. "He did. I mean, I'm pretty sure he did -"

"Since when do we give a shit about Draco Malfoy?" snorted Indigo, biting into a red apple with a crunch. "Just another pompous, self-entitled kid."

"I swear," agreed Tracy, tossing a strawberry to Stuart who caught it in his mouth, easily. "Imagine being the son of Lucius Malfoy and still thinking everyone else is blessed to be in your presence."

Elara couldn't drag her eyes away from Draco as he reached out to grab a green apple from the platter in front of him, tossing it in his hand, as he listened to Theodore Nott speak.

She sank her teeth into her lower lip as her friends returned to their conversation. She'd torn that very same Quidditch sweater off him last year after Slytherin had won a game against Hufflepuff - Draco had caught the snitch the last second before it would have been declared a draw.

He'd come back into the castle so high on the victory he'd barely even given Elara a chance to congratulate him before he'd dragged her into the broom closet and taken her, hard and fast.

Elara was suddenly aware of a pair of silver eyes on her and jerked herself out of her daydream, realising Draco had noticed her gaze and was returning it steadily.

She could see he knew exactly what she was thinking - she hated that about herself, how easy she was to read. And Draco had somehow always been able to read her better than others.

He raised his eyebrows, the very corner of his lips turning up before Elara ripped her eyes away, focusing instead on the plate of scrambled eggs in front of her as heat rushed to her face.

"...right, El?" Indigo was saying, looking at her expectantly with her dark eyes.

"Right," mumbled Elara, having absolutely no clue what they were talking about. "Sorry. I'm not feeling too well. Excuse me."

With that, she fled the Great Hall, leaving the sounds of breakfast and chatter behind her as she headed towards the Ravenclaw common room. She'd take a nice cold shower and sit in the sun till classes started in the afternoon - she'd be able to purge Draco from her mind.

It was just downright creepy - and wrong. She had to stop staring and fantasising over him - he'd made it clear that he was done and she had to respect that. Even if he was a cocky bastard about it.

"Going somewhere, Miss Jacobs?"

Elara found it impossible to believe the universe didn't hate her. Out of everybody in this blasted castle, she always seemed to run into her least favourite professor.

"Professor Snape." She forced a smile. "I wasn't feeling too well -"

"You look fine," Snape cut her off, his lower lip curling. "I hope you're not trying to get out of classes, Jacobs."

Elara bit the inside of her cheek to prevent the annoyance from showing on her face. "I should think, Professor, that you should know that I, out of all people, would not fake an illness to skip -"

"Just because you happen to be part of Ravenclaw doesn't mean you're as hard working as the stereotypes would have you believe," sneered Snape. "As can be obviously seen from your inability to follow the simple instructions that I gave you regarding Malfoy."

Elara's gut twisted. "It's barely been three weeks -"

"I even paired you two up in my class in hopes you'd find a way but you seem to be unaware of how dangerous Draco Malfoy really is," hissed Snape, his eyes flashing. "I need reports on him on a weekly basis, Miss Jacobs, and you've failed to give me even one in the three weeks that have passed since the beginning of the year -"

"Why is he so dangerous?" Elara demanded and Snape glanced around to make sure no one was nearby. Even the portraits skittered away. "Just because he's the son of Lucius Malfoy doesn't mean he's a murderer -"

"That is none of your concern, Jacobs. Your job is to let me know of his movements and that's it."

"Well, Draco has made it strikingly clear that whatever... arrangement he and I had is over. He wants nothing to do with me. I can't do what you ask, Professor."

Snape's eyes glittered as he stared down at her. "Weekly. Reports. Jacobs." He punctuated each word so forcefully it felt like a punch in the gut.

"Professor -" But he was gone, vanished with a flourish of his cape down the dark hallway.

Elara debated going after him and casting a particularly dirty hex on him but forced herself to take deep breaths, shutting her eyes.

She couldn't get out of this. Snape would hound her to death. She could go complain to Dumbledore but hadn't Snape said it had been the headmaster's wish in the first place?

With a frustrated sigh, Elara pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, feeling an astronomical headache coming on.

"I know I'm hard to resist but I hardly think you need to look so despaired, Jacobs."

Elara's heart thudded against her ribcage and she groaned, not even turning around. "Please, leave me alone, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood."

Draco laughed from behind her, so cold it felt like ice accumulated in her bones. "You should know that that's only going to make me bother you more. Really, Jacobs, do you ever learn?"

You seem to be unaware of how dangerous Draco Malfoy really is.

Snape's words echoed in her mind and she finally let her hands drop from her face, opening her eyes and turning to face Draco.

"Draco."

He raised an eyebrow at her. His features looked softer in the dim light of the hallway and Elara tried, desperately, to push the thought of him in the Quidditch sweater out of her mind. It didn't matter what he was wearing. She had to find a way to lure him into trusting her.

"I..." She cleared her throat, looking up at the ceiling, praying to the universe that he didn't end up Avada kedavra-ing her. "I need your help."

Draco's eyes immediately darkened. "No." He turned on his heel but her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

Wrong move. The contact of skin on skin was so searing, Elara dropped her hand immediately. His skin was so soft. She wanted to feel those hands in her hair, on her throat -

"Please," she ground out, shoving her unholy thoughts into a crevice in her mind. "Please. I could get expelled."

At least that wasn't a lie.

"I said no, Jacobs." His eyes were swirling silver, a shadow over his features. "Deal with it yourself."

"You're the top student in DADA," she continued, desperately. "And Snape has had a vendetta against me since first year and I'm absolutely terrible at Defence Against the Dark Arts." That wasn't a lie either. "Please. I'll pay you."

Draco looked at her like she'd just Polyjuiced herself into a shrub. "You want me to... tutor you?"

"If I fail, Snape will make sure I won't pass the year," she pleaded, grasping at straws. "My parents would murder me and string my body up in the foyer for everyone to see."

He didn't say anything; just looked at her with those dragon-like eyes.

"Please," she mumbled, swallowing her pride. Groveling at Draco Malfoy's feet. How demeaning.

"I do enjoy watching you beg," was what he finally said, his sneering tone back. "It's quite entertaining."

Elara was going to kill Snape.

"I don't enjoy begging," she grumbled, glaring at the floor. "But I'm desperate." She paused for a moment, looking back up at him again. "I'll pay you."

He scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "I don't want your money, Jacobs. I've got enough of my own."

"Oh, yes, I do forget that you're the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy," retorted Elara, coolly.

The expression on his face relaxed into something thoughtful. "You do, don't you," he mumbled under his breath.

Elara raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest. "Is that a threat, Malfoy?"

He seemed to pull himself out of his thoughts, his mouth twisting into a smile. "Not at all, Jacobs. It's a promise."

She drew in a shaky breath, ignoring his words. "So you'll help me?"

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say -

"No." Draco shrugged. "I won't. Give my regards to your parents before they string you up."

With that parting shot, he brushed past her, twisting only to call over his shoulder. "You'll have better luck asking Fletcher to help you."

Elara's stomach dropped. She should have felt upset that she'd failed in the first step - but it only made her feel relieved.

She pushed away her feelings. This was Draco Malfoy. He'd use her just the same - and more - if he had to.

With a deep sigh, Elara trudged towards the common room, silently deciding which way she would kill Severus Snape.

|  
The day dragged on; every class seemed to proceed so slowly Elara was tempted to cast the Killing Curse on herself. She wondered if she ever came face to face with Voldemort, would she even fight back?

"Alright, spill the beans, Elara," Tracy said, sharply elbowing her in the ribs. "You usually love History of Magic and you haven't said a word. What's got you so down?"

Elara opened her mouth to make an excuse when Fletcher leaned over from the desk next to theirs. "Malfoy break up with you, Jacobs? How sad."

Elara clenched her fist, her nails piercing into her palm. "Do you ever shut up, Fletcher?"

Tracy looked confused but nevertheless, sided with Elara. "I will drive my wand into your left eyeball if you don't stay out of our business, Fletcher." She gave him a sweet smile, her auburn hair fiery in the sunlight streaming through the windows next to them.

Fletcher rolled his eyes, settling back into his chair."You haven't told any of them, Elara? That's surprising."

"There's nothing to tell," Elara responded, calmly. "You're delusional and seem to pride yourself on your ability to make anyone go insane. How are you in the same house as the Golden Trio? I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave." She looked him up and down, disgusted. "But all I see is a coward."

She heard Ron Weasley chuckle from the desk in front of her.

Fletcher's face reddened and he turned away, focusing his eyes back on their teacher.

Elara inwardly let out a sigh of relief. She still didn't know how Fletcher had caught on about her and Draco - they'd been so careful last year.

"Why does he think there's something going on with you and Malfoy?" whispered Tracy, flipping the page of her textbook and studying the images.

"Beats me," Elara muttered back, staring down at the book. "Some weird obsession. He saw Malfoy and I talking once last year and assumed we were in love." She rolled her eyes.

"Fletcher's always had a crush on you, y'know." Ron turned to tell her in a whisper. "I reckon he's just jealous."

Elara smiled at him and he ducked his head, his cheeks flushing, before turning back.

She wished she had picked someone like Ron last year - soft, kind, loving, sweet. But instead, she'd gone for the haughty dragon of the school - Draco Malfoy - and had promptly gotten herself burned.

She still remembered the first time they'd gotten together last year. After a horrendous summer, Elara had returned to Hogwarts as a fifth year desperate to lose herself and forget about her home life and had set her sights on Draco Malfoy.

But if she was being honest, she'd had her eyes on him since fourth year when she'd seen him at the Yule Ball with Pansy Parkinson on his arm.

But she'd ignored her childish crush until another Ball had taken place the following year.

Draco had gone alone, as had Elara, and they somehow ended up leaving at the same time - both out of boredom.

Elara had stumbled, crashing into a suit of armour that was too slow to catch her and went crashing to the floor where Draco promptly found her and seemed to be bored enough to help her up.

They'd been partners in Potions and so they knew each other well enough but Elara had never thought that he'd be the type to help her in any situation and then their faces had been so close to each other, his hands on her shoulders and she'd always had a thing for tall blonds - she hadn't been able to stop herself from leaning in and kissing him. He hadn't protested and in fact, did the exact opposite.

Later, she blamed it on the boredom and the loneliness she felt watching her friends dance with their partners at the ball and vowed to herself that she'd never let it happen again - even if it had been the best sex she'd ever had.

But when Draco cornered her after the Quidditch match, she hadn't had the control to push him away and their sneaky relationship had taken off from there.

She heaved a sigh. Merlin's beard, was she in a mess.

And she had a feeling it was only going to get a whole lot messier.

The Killing Curse was looking very tempting right now.


	4. four

ELARA HAD A PLAN.

Granted, it was very far-fetched and she'd need some magical entity for it to work but nevertheless, it was a plan.

"Well done!" Cho Chang smiled at her from across the table as Elara successfully managed to make the Draught of Peace bubbling in front of them turn into the characteristic silver colour.

"It's the porcupine quills, really," replied Elara, stirring the mixture as it fizzed and gave off a silvery mist. "You need to be quite exact."

Cho nodded in agreement. "You're really talented at Potion Making, Elara."

She gave a low laugh. "It  _ is  _ one of my favourite classes."

"Miss Chang. Miss Jacobs. Nice work." Professor Slughorn peered over at their cauldron and gave an appreciative nod. "Perfectly done. I can feel the potion taking effect just by inhaling the fumes."

Both witches shared a smile and turned back to their notebooks, jotting down all the ingredients they'd added.

"Can I ask you something, Elara?" Cho murmured, leaning over.

"Hmm?" Elara's quill scratched at the parchment.

"Is Malfoy staring at  _ me  _ or at  _ you _ ?"

Elara's hand froze and she, slowly, raised her eyes to Cho's. "I..." She cleared her throat. "Is he?"

Cho nodded, her eyes flicking to the space behind Elara where Draco was sitting, partnered with Fletcher.

They were a duo she never thought she'd be grateful for but right now, they were her only shot.

She had to time it perfectly: not too early and not too late. Either of those risked her losing either Fletcher or Draco - and unfortunately, she needed  _ both  _ of them to be there.

She vaguely wondered if she was overestimating her acting skills and her knowledge of Fletcher. There was always the chance that Draco might not even -

No. He was a Malfoy. He wouldn't let Fletcher take her - would he?

"Right then!" Professor Slughorn bellowed, clasping his hands in front of him. "It seems you've all managed to make some good Calming Draughts, apart from  _ some - _ " He shot a glance at Indigo and Tracy's cauldron. "But I must say that the winner of today's Potion Making has to be Miss Chang and Miss Jacobs. Fifty points to Ravenclaw!"

Cho squeezed Elara's hand, grinning but Elara was barely focusing. She needed to be prepared -

As the class began to pack up their things and trickle out of the classroom, Elara bid Cho goodbye and then plastered on the most sorrowful expression she could before trudging over to Draco and Fletcher's desk, keeping her head low.

She'd come up with this plan as soon as Professor Slughorn had paired up Draco and Fletcher together and hadn't really had the time to make sure it was foolproof. But she couldn't let the opportunity slide.

She slowed her pace as she realised another student was talking to Draco and only picked up again when she felt it was ending. She couldn't be too obvious. Draco was frustratingly intelligent.

"What's wrong with you, Jacobs?" Fletcher prodded, raising a dark eyebrow at her as she dragged herself over, twisting her hands into her robes.

Draco glanced over mid-conversation but made no move to say anything to her.

"I need your help," she muttered, letting strands of her curly dark hair fall into her face. Let Fletcher think she was ashamed and meek. "In DADA."

Draco's long fingers stopped moving from where they'd been twirling his quill as he talked to Theodore.

Fletcher's eyes flashed with surprise. "What? Elara Jacobs wants  _ my  _ help in DADA?"

Elara heaved a sigh. "You're one of the best students." That wasn't a lie, as much as she hated to admit it. "And if I don't pass, Snape will tear me to shreds and my parents will finish the job -"

Fletcher laughed out loud. "I can't believe this. You're actually begging for my help." He narrowed his eyes at her. "And what do I get in return?"

Draco's hand tightened over his quill, so subtle no one else would've noticed it. But Elara knew his hands like nobody else - she'd felt them all over her and knew exactly what it felt like when he applied pressure.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and ducked her head, meekly. "Whatever you want. I don't have any other choice."

_ Please take the bait, Fletcher. Please. _

For once, by some miracle, things went the way she wanted them to. Fletcher's eyes darkened.

" _ Anything _ ?"

Elara hoped Ron had been right about Fletcher having a crush on her. It was the only way Draco would interfere.

"Anything," she replied, firmly, meeting those despicable eyes once more.

The quill in Draco's hand clattered to the desk and Elara silently rejoiced. So he was still listening.

Fletcher made a sound in the back of his throat that made Elara's skin crawl but she held her ground as he dragged the tips of his fingers down the back of her hand.

Draco's eyes flickered to the movement as he nodded to something Theo said.

"Meet me in front of the library," Fletcher grinned, leaning forward to whisper to her. "I've always wanted to fuck someone in the broom closet."

Elara swallowed the bile that rose up in her throat and Draco's hand clenched into a fist.

_ Come on, Malfoy,  _ she goaded.  _ Don't hold back. _

Elara nodded, keeping her eyes downcast and then turned and slipped out of the almost empty classroom.

She'd done what she could. Now she could only wait.

She hoped Draco wouldn't beat Fletcher up  _ too  _ bad - even though Merlin knew he deserved it.

She stopped by a portrait, pretending to fix her robes in an attempt to stall. She wanted to see how this played out -  _ if  _ it played out.

Sure enough, Fletcher came sprinting out of the classroom a few minutes later, one hand clamped over his eye which Elara could see was starting to bruise. She watched as he limped in the direction of the infirmary, glancing over his shoulder at the classroom as if he was scared Draco would follow him.

Elara breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling the tension in her chest relax. The first part of the plan had worked. Now came the crucial part.

She waited a few moments and then, as the door to the classroom opened, quickly turned and began to make her way up the stairs, hearing Theodore and Draco converse, quietly, behind her.

_ Look up, Malfoy,  _ she pleaded, continuing her climb up the stairs. If she looked like she'd been waiting for them, he'd catch on for sure. She couldn't show any interest.  _ Look up. _

"Jacobs!"

Elara froze, glancing over her shoulder to see Draco heading towards her as Theodore broke off and disappeared down another flight of stairs. "I don't want to talk to you, Draco," she huffed, turning away and picking up her pace.

_ Please talk to me. _

"You're not going to study with Fletcher."

_ Yes, yes, yes, yes! _

Elara turned and raised an eyebrow at him, gripping her Potions book in her hand. "Oh, really? On whose order?"

He stood a few steps below her, looking up at her with those devilish eyes.

"Mine," he growled, advancing another step. "You'll study with me."

Elara held back a smile. "As far as I remember, Draco, you rejected my offer. I don't see why you're choosing to meddle now."

She turned as if to leave but he caught her wrist, tugging her back. Her breath hitched in her throat at the touch and she jerked away as a group of second years streamed past them.

"What?" she demanded, looking up at him. He had pulled her down onto the step right above his but he was still much taller than her.  _ Screw him and his dreamy physique.  _ She scowled.

"I'm not going to let you fuck around with Fletcher just to get a good grade, Jacobs." His voice was low and deadly.

Elara laughed, unfeelingly. "Oh, so now someone else gets to fuck me and that's where you draw the line? You didn't  _ want  _ me anymore, Malfoy. You don't get to tell me who I can or cannot sleep with."

Again, she turned on her heel, knowing full well that he'd stop her again. His large hand grasped her robe at the elbow.

"I frankly could not care  _ less  _ about who you sleep with, Jacobs. As long as it's up to you." He gritted his teeth as if it hurt him to even admit that much. "But that?" He jerked his head towards the classroom they'd been in. "That's forced. And I may not care about you in the slightest and I may be an unfeeling prat but I have too much going on right now to live with the fact that I let a girl get raped."

Elara stared down at him. "I didn't know you had a conscience."

He scoffed, looking away and letting his hand drop from her elbow. "I don't. But I do have limits, Jacobs."

Elara rolled her eyes and bit down on her lower lip, feigning thought.

Draco's eyes flicked down and then returned back to hers, unflinching.

"Fine," she said finally. "I'll have to tell Fletcher -"

"He knows," he cut her off, sharply. "I made it clear."

She raised her eyebrows. "What did you do?"

Draco lifted a casual shoulder. "Nothing he didn't deserve." With that, he turned and descended the staircase. "Meet me at the Astronomy Tower after classes."

With that, he followed the path Theodore had taken, leaving Elara in a mixture of guilt and relief.

She waited a couple beats before she hurried after Draco, treading lightly.

She'd be late for her next class but she didn't have a choice - Snape would have to get her out of detention.

Peering around the corner, she caught Draco's tall frame turning the corner of the long hallway and followed, picking up her pace.

She already knew where he was going - they were in the Dungeon corridors already.

Elara came to the end of the hallway and popped her head around it just in time to catch Draco's silhouette moving down the staircase that led to the Slytherin common room.

With a sigh, she began to trudge back the way she came.

Snape was waiting for her in his office.

"I  _ told  _ you," she said, exasperated. "He goes nowhere but the Slytherin common room and his classes and the Great Hall. I've been following him for a week now so whatever sneaky behaviour you're expecting from him, he's not doing it when  _ I'm  _ following him."

Snape narrowed his eyes in thought. "And you're sure he doesn't know you're following him."

Elara snorted in response. "Of course I'm  _ sure. _ He wouldn't be able to see me in the shadows even if he were looking for me."

"You seem to be overestimating your hiding abilities, Miss Jacobs."

"I'm the third child," she replied. "Trust me, I'm good at hiding."

When Snape didn't respond, she sighed. "Look, if Malfoy's doing  _ anything  _ suspicious, he's probably doing it at times when I can't follow him. During my classes - or maybe he sneaks out of the Slytherin common room at night. I don't know. Just trailing him isn't going to get us anywhere."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I hope there's a 'but' after that sentence, Jacobs."

"There is," she answered, scuffing the toe of her shoe into the floor in guilt. "I convinced him to tutor me in DADA."

Snape remained expressionless as always, except for a slight raise of his eyebrows.

"Yes," she continued. "He's first in class. It made sense to ask him so I don't think I raised any red flags in his mind." She left out the part where he rejected her offer and only took it up because of Fletcher.

Shaking her head, she went on. "But the point is: you have to make it seem like I'm terrible. Yell at me as much as you can during classes and pretend to give me detentions for everything. He'll fall for it, I'm sure."

The guilt in her chest twisted that little bit more but she ignored it.

"That won't be too hard," Snape drawled in response. "You're already quite an insufferable student."

"Well, this insufferable student is doing all your dirty work for you."

She turned to leave just as Snape said, "I can see why you were put in Ravenclaw."

Elara thought that was the closest to a compliment she'd ever get from Professor Severus Snape.

|

Elara was, in fact, given detention by Professor McGonagall for being "horrifyingly late" as she put it.

Elara ignored the inquisitive glances of her friends and she slid into the seat next to Tracy.

The day inched on: Transfiguration, Herbology and Divination.

As soon as Divination class was dismissed, Elara gathered her things and was rushing out of the classroom when Indigo caught her elbow.

"Where are you going?" she asked, puzzled. "Classes are over. We were planning on going for a walk in the grounds, remember?"

"Yep," Tracy interjected, appearing at Indigo's shoulder. "I can't wait to go out. It's such fine weather."

Elara's gut knotted. "Oh - I'm so sorry - I completely forgot."

Stuart linked his arm through hers, his chestnut hair falling into his eyes. "All good," he chirped. "Let's get going."

They all made to move but Elara opened her mouth again. "No... I - I can't." Upon seeing her friends' dismayed faces, she hurried on. "I have something I have to do and I... I really can't get out of it."

"What is it?" inquired Tracy, gently. "You're not taking extra classes, are you?"

"Freya would kill you," Indigo put in. "You know she hates how you always sign up for more classes than you can handle -"

"No, it's not - I'm not taking extra classes," Elara breathed. She was sure she couldn't possibly feel worse than she was right now. "At least, not in that sense."

"Then?" Stuart questioned, his eyebrows furrowing. "I don't underst -"

"I really just - I really need to study, alright?" She tripped over the words as she said them. "I'm sorry. I really am. I'll make it up to you guys. I just really can't afford to fail any class this year -"

Indigo frowned at her. "Elara, you're first in our house. You've never failed anything in your life."

"But I will," Elara responded, agitated. "My parents are being exceptionally harsh on me this year and I have to make every moment count. I'm so sorry, guys. Enjoy your walk though."

She fled from the room, her eyes stinging. She didn't know if it was the right time to tell them that Draco would be tutoring her. But if it became a regular thing, she'd tell them. She promised herself she would. Even if she couldn't divulge the mission Snape had given her.

"You're late."

The familiarity of the words rang in Elara's ears as she alighted at the top of the staircase that led up to the ramparts of the Astronomy Tower.

"The last time you said that to me, things didn't end well," the young witch muttered under her breath, memories of the time on the train running through her mind.

Draco ignored her comment and instead, quirked an eyebrow at the books in her hands. "What are those for?"

Elara started, looking down at them. "You - You said you were gonna tutor me so I -" Had she interpreted it wrong? Had he thought she was asking for sex?

"Yes, I'm well aware of the task you burdened me with," he said, irritated. He stepped closer and pulled the books out of her arms, placing them on the floor nearby. "But you know the theory already. You're a Ravenclaw - you probably studied every single page during your summer."

Heat spread up her neck - he wasn't wrong. "That's a stereotype," she protested, weakly. He paid no heed to her.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts is all about getting familiar with casting spells and defending yourself against them. You'll need to work on wand movement and target practice." He shrugged, the dying sunlight playing on his light hair. "That's really it."

"How simple," Elara drawled, sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.

Once again, much to her annoyance, Draco ignored her. Instead, he held out his hand. "Give me your wand."

"Why?"

"Are you really going to question every thing I do?" he demanded, curling his fingers in a 'give me' motion.

Reluctantly, Elara handed him her wand. Draco turned it over in his hands for a few seconds before tossing it back to her.

"Walnut wood with unicorn hair core," he said as she caught it. "Ten inches and flexible. Am I right?"

Elara nodded, slowly. Those had been exactly Ollivander's words all those years ago when she picked out her wand.

"Good," Draco said with a curt nod.

Elara sent him a questioning look before glancing down at her wand.

"It's not dogwood," he explained. "Those are terrible at non-verbal spells. You're having enough trouble as it is."

She ignored the jab and met his eyes. "So do we begin?"

He took out his own wand and twirled it between his slender fingers, looking vaguely like a wolf with the anticipation of a hunt. "We begin."

  
  
  



	5. five

THE UNIVERSE was conspiring against Elara.

She was sure of it. There was no other explanation for the fact that Draco Malfoy and her were stuck in detention -  _ together. _

"Are you  _ kidding  _ me?" Elara groaned as soon as he stepped through the door, ducking slightly to clear his head of the doorway. "Out of everyone,  _ you're  _ the person I get stuck with?"

Draco raised his eyebrows. "I'm not happy about this either but I'd expect  _ some  _ respect from the girl I'm saving. You know, from her family disowning her and everything."

Elara's cheeks flushed. "Yes. That respect goes only as far as our sessions. No more, no less."

Draco lifted a shoulder, coolly. "I guess I'll have to stop -"

"Mr. Malfoy. Miss Jacobs." Professor McGonagall's voice cut through their conversation as she stepped into the small, dingy room. "Good. You're both here. I want every trophy in this room scrubbed to perfection, understood?"

Elara gaped. "But, Professor, there's got to be at  _ least  _ a hundred -"

"You should've thought about that before you arrived half an hour late to my class, Miss Jacobs," said the professor, sending her a pointed look. "And Mr. Malfoy before he forgot to turn in his homework."

She held out her hand, sternly. "Wands, please."

Reluctantly, Elara gave her the wand, mourning over the hours she would waste here.

"Your wand, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco clenched his jaw and for a moment, Elara thought he wouldn't hand it over.

But then he did - albeit not very happily.

"Thank you. You're not to leave this room until every trophy is done. I've put wards over the door so don't even try to leave until you're done."

Professor McGonogall fixed them with her intimidating gaze once more before striding from the room, letting the door click shut behind her.

There was a beat of silence between the two sixth years.

"You didn't do your homework?" Elara inquired, unable to help the smile tugging at her pink lips. Her eyes followed Draco as he snatched up a cloth from nearby.

"Find it funny, do you?" he sneered, glaring at her.

"I mean -" Elara shrugged, picking up a trophy.  _ Triwizard Winner: Harry Potter.  _ She dragged her thumb over the engraved letters. "I thought you were a bit more... _ bad boy chic _ ."

Draco looked at her, disdainfully. "What in Merlin are you on about?"

"You know," she went on, handing him Harry's trophy just to annoy him. "I thought you'd have a bit more guts and do something  _ really  _ bad to earn detention. That's all."

She was still smiling as his eyes darkened into stormy grey looking at Harry's name on the trophy. He chucked it away and it rebounded off the wall and fell with a clatter to the floor.

"You were late to class," he scoffed, tossing her another cloth. "I hardly think you're one to lecture me on  _ bad boy chic _ ."

Elara sighed, picking up a trophy shaped like a shield. "Well, you do have a point. But I'm not the one who puts up the whole  _ 'I'm superior to everyone else'  _ facade, you know?"

"It's not a facade," said Draco, bluntly.

Elara snorted. "Oh, come on, Malfoy. I know you don't believe that."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And why is that?"

"Because," she replied, easily, "I know you have enough of a brain to know that nobody is superior to anybody else just because of the fact that they're  _ pureblood  _ or a  _ Malfoy _ ."

Draco laughed, coldly. "Wait, are you being serious right now?"

Elara looked at him, blankly. "I know you give off that impression to everyone else but  _ I  _ personally think it's only because that's what you've been conditioned to do."

Something flickered in Draco's expression and he looked away. "You don't know shit about what you're talking about, Jacobs."

"That's alright," she said, pleasantly, as she polished a trophy. "I rarely do anyway."

An hour must have passed before Draco let out an exasperated breath and dropped the trophy he was polishing. "I can't stay in here anymore."

Elara looked up from where she was sitting on a stool, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn cup. "There are wards on the door. You can't leave."

Draco's hand froze from where he was reaching for the doorknob and he groaned, dropping his forehead against the wood. " _ Fuck  _ this pathetic excuse of a school -"

"Hey," Elara interjected, frowning. "Hogwarts is my home."

He laughed, unfeelingly. "How sweet. You fit right in with these stupid prats anyway."

Elara rolled her eyes before focusing on the trophy in her hands. "Malfoy Manor suit you better?" she asked, sarcasm dripping off her tongue. "Like having Daddy and Mummy ready to do your bidding?"

"Stop talking, Jacobs." His tone was so deadly Elara felt her hands stop moving.

But her mouth went on. "Oh, wait," she feigned thought. "I forgot Daddy's in Azkaban, isn't he?"

Before she could blink, Draco had crossed the space between them and was yanking her up by her arm before pinning her against the wall, his eyes boring into hers.

The breath was knocked out of her as her back collided with the rough stone wall and her hands pressed flat against it, her heart racing in her chest.

"I said. Stop. Talking," Draco growled, one hand at her throat. His rings were cool on her skin.

"And  _ I  _ said," Elara bit out, "Daddy's in -"

"Elara. Don't mess with me," Draco snarled, cutting her off. His grip on her throat tightened as a subtle message.

"Sensitive topic, I see," she gasped out, her heart painfully pounding in her chest. "So you're not proud of it."

Draco was so close she could see the specks of blue in his eyes, even in the dim lighting.

"I stand corrected," Elara went on, keeping her voice gentle. "You don't think you're superior because of your blood or your family name. You  _ know  _ your father deserved that cell."

She expected Draco to snarl in her face but instead, his shoulders dropped.

"You don't know the first thing about me," he muttered, his eyes moving down to fix on the hollow of her throat just below his hand. Elara held her breath, her skin tingling from his touch.

She hated herself. She hated herself because part of her wanted him to touch her more. She'd missed his touch - it used to be the only thing that got her through the week.

And she despised herself for it - how their sneaky meet ups had become the only thing keeping her from going insane.

"I'm leaving," she ground out, twisting out of his grip.

"You can't," he said with a low laugh. "The wards -"

"Are not on the windows," Elara finished, bluntly, moving towards the large window.

Draco fell silent behind her and she knew he was wondering how he'd missed that.

Elara pushed herself onto her tiptoes, stretching her arm up as far as she could to try and reach the latch.

Her fingers grazed it but she couldn't get them around it and she blew out a breath, settling back onto her feet.

"Need help?" Draco taunted from behind her.

Elara shut her eyes. She'd rather die.

She knew if she turned, he'd be leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching her with that smug expression on his face.

She didn't dare face him. One: because she couldn't stand that haughty look on his face and two: because he was  _ such  _ a pretty picture and she really felt as if she was going insane.

Again, Elara jumped to try and reach the latch but it was just too high.

Gritting her teeth, she tried once more until she heard Draco chuckle from behind her.

"All you have to do is ask, Jacobs. I'd be happy to oblige."

She exhaled, loudly. "I don't need your help, Draco."

"Think that through again." He sounded closer now and Elara's fists clenched.

"Can you just unlatch it for me," she mumbled, fixing her eyes on the floor.

"What was that?" he prodded, stepping forward. "I couldn't hear you."

Elara closed her eyes for a moment before snapping them open and whirling to face him. "Can you stop being a  _ prick  _ and just open the  _ fucking  _ latch so that we can get out of here -"

She faltered; he was so close. She inhaled, sharply. He smelled like green apples and mint. She was well-acquainted with the scent.

"I don't think being rude is going to get you anywhere," he murmured, his long fingers catching her chin and tilting her face up so her eyes met his. His touch was surprisingly gentle and Elara found herself trembling.

She would crumble if he didn't stop.

He'd been this close just a few moments before but he'd been so angry and angry was something Elara was used to. He'd always been that - a fire simmering beneath a mask of ice.

But now - his fingers ghosted over her cheek, soft but firm, like he was seeing whether she'd react.

The corner of his lips was turned up in a smile as he looked down at her, his eyes unreadable.

Elara's heart thudded in her chest as he slid his hand into the hair behind her ear, his palm flat against her cheek. His thumb caressed the soft skin and she felt her knees almost give out.

He'd never been so soft before - so gentle and tentative. She felt as if she was seeing a completely new person in front of her.

Even though her mind told her to resist it, Elara let her face press into his palm, savouring his touch and her eyes fluttered shut.

She shouldn't - but he was so close and it had been a month and maybe he hadn't meant it when he said it was over -

She reached for him.

Immediately, his hand moved down and gripped her chin, roughly. He laughed, softly, and pushed her face to the side before releasing her and stepping back.

"You're too easy." He shook his head, a devastating smile on his lips. With barely any effort, he reached up and undid the latch of the window, yanking it open.

Elara wanted to melt into the ground there and then - he'd been playing with her like a cat with a new toy.

"You're insufferable," she hissed at him. Then, she turned and hauled herself over the windowsill.

She'd never wanted to hex somebody so badly in her entire life -

_ BOOM! _

As soon as her feet touched the floor, Elara felt a shockwave crash into her and she was thrown back, her back colliding with the windowsill behind her and toppling back over the edge in an unceremonious bundle at Draco's feet.

The room spun and her body throbbed, painfully. She felt like she'd been Kissed by a Dementor. With a groan, she got onto all fours, heaving for breath.

There had been wards over the window.

"You know," Draco said and she could practically hear the smirk. "McGonagall  _ was  _ going to be sorted into Ravenclaw too."

It was past nightfall by the time they finished polishing each and every trophy.

Elara nearly stumbled leaving the room but Draco made no move to catch her. "Can't stand on your own two feet, Jacobs?"

"For once in your life, Malfoy, shut  _ up _ ," she grumbled, shooting him a deathly glare. He just looked amused.

Their wands appeared in their hands as soon as they crossed the threshold of the room. Elara sighed with relief, feeling the familiar weight in her hand.

The castle corridors were empty as Elara made her way to the Ravenclaw tower. She was so tired she could pass out and her back still ached from where she'd slammed into the windowsill while trying to escape.

She didn't think she could have had a worse day and it didn't help that the feeling of Draco's touch was still seared into her mind.

She hated him so much, it was almost unbearable.

"Hey, sport." Stuart was waiting for her, draped across the midnight blue sofa in front of the fireplace, popping chocolate frogs into his mouth. "How was detention? You look terrible."

"Thanks," muttered Elara, collapsing next to him. "It was quite possibly the worst thing I've ever had to endure in my life."

Stuart smiled, poking his finger into her cheek. "Serves you right for being so late. What'd McGonagall make you do?"

"Polish about a hundred trophies."

"That's not too bad -"

"With Draco  _ Malfo _ y."

"Merlin, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

Despite her exhaustion, Elara laughed, dropping her head against her best friend's shoulder. A brief silence ensued before she asked, "Were you waiting up for me?"

She felt Stuart nod. "Yeah. So were Indigo and Tracy but they were already half-asleep so I forced them to go to bed."

"Oh." Elara sighed. "Well, thanks for waiting for me. We should go to sleep too."

She made to move from the couch. "Goodnight, Stu." She reached the bottom of the twisting spiral staircase that would take her up to the girls dorms before Stuart spoke.

"Elara, what are you hiding?" His voice was quiet but firm and Elara's stomach twisted, uneasily.

She plastered on a questioning smile before she turned to face him. "What do you mean? I'm not hiding anything."

He rose from the couch and took two steps towards her, his long legs easily crossing the distance. He had to be as tall as Draco but where Draco was broad-shouldered and strong, Stuart was lanky and clumsy.

"Why can't you tell us?" he asked, softly, fixing her with his honey-gold eyes. "We won't tell a soul, you know that."

_ Oh, Stuart. You're so sweet. _

"There's nothing I'm hiding," Elara repeated, pushing a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "I wasn't lying when I said I really need to study."

"I know," he answered. "But it wasn't the full truth either. I've known you for six years now, Elara. Come on."

Elara almost faltered. He was her best friend. He knew her like the back of his hand like she knew him.

"I'm sorry," she said, gently. "But there's nothing I'm hiding. My parents gave me a very hard time this summer and I really don't want to let them down like I did last year, okay?"

Stuart's face fell and Elara wanted to confess there and then. But Snape...Draco...

"Okay." He fixed his eyes on the carpeted floor. "Okay. If you - If you ever need help, I can try to. Whenever you want. Just let me know. We can sit in the library and -"

_ Oh, sweet boy. Oh, Stuart. Your heart is too pure. I don't deserve you as my friend. _

Elara blinked, rapidly, to keep her eyes from stinging. She reached forward and gathered him into a tight hug. "Stuart... That's so kind. Thank you. I - I'll let you know if I ever need help. You're... You and Tracy and Indigo are the best friends I could ever ask for."

Stuart gave her a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Nevertheless, he squeezed her hand and then turned.

"Get some sleep, El."

Elara didn't let herself cry until she was safely in bed.

  
  
  



	6. six

"I'M JUST SAYING, PROFESSOR."

Elara settled back into her seat at the end of her monologue of how each student learns differently and therefore, should not all be expected to achieve the same threshold grade needed to pass an exam.

Professor McGonagall stared at her with those bright eyes from the front of the classroom. "Well. Thank you very much, Miss Jacobs -"

"That's hogwash!" Hermione whirled around from the desk in front of Elara and glared at her. "How can you expect anybody to be judged fairly if they can't take a standardised test and have a grade threshold that they must pass?"

Elara shrugged, meeting Hermione's gaze, evenly. "I'm just saying that a student who has failed an exam shouldn't be condemned to fail the year and retake the class."

"You're a Ravenclaw. How are you even saying this?" Hermione hissed back. "People study really hard to be able to top the class -"

"For what?" Elara raised an eyebrow. "Just so they can be called  _ the brightest witch of their age _ ? Is it that hard to imagine that other people may not want to stay up day and night with their nose in their books just to be top in the class?"

Hermione turned tomato red and turned back around, muttering under her breath.

"No more talking, Miss Jacobs and Miss Granger."

Elara bowed her head, apologetically.

"Hermione was not having it," Indigo giggled as they left the classroom an hour later. "How  _ dare  _ you say that kids who don't pass an exam are not failures?"

Elara shook her head, bumping her shoulder against Indigo's. "She's the brightest witch of her age. I don't blame her."

"Good luck in the game today, guys," Tracy nodded at her three friends. "I know we're going to win."

Stuart groaned. "Don't remind me. I've been having game day jitters for a week now."

"Scared, Banks?" Elara mocked, grinning at him. "Come on, it's not like you've never taken Zabini on before."

Stuart sighed. "Honestly, ever since we were paired up by Snape in that DADA class, he's been out to get me. I'm pretty sure he's gonna send a Bludger my way every other minute."

"That's not too bad," Indigo teased. "I'd expect him to throw one every other second."

Stuart turned faintly green.

"I don't know if I feel worse for you or the fact that I'm going to be chasing the Snitch with Harper on my heels," Indigo went on as they shouldered their way through a crowd of fourth years coming down the staircase.

Elara crinkled her nose. "I heard Harper plays dirty. I bet you'll miss Malfoy by the end of it."

"I doubt it," Indigo scoffed, shooting a look at an unfortunate fourth year who bumped into her. "Malfoy carried all the skills in that team. I can take some bruising from Harper but at least I don't have Malfoy to race."

"I wonder why he dropped it," mused Stuart as they finally halted at the door to their common room. The eagle knocker spoke immediately.

"What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in a thousand years?"

Elara exchanged looks with her friends. "Anyone?"

There was a thoughtful silence before Stuart sighed.

"For Merlin's sake, we've been here six years and we still get stuck on these damn riddles. Aren't we supposed to be intelligent and creative or whatever?"

"I personally think I would've done better in Hufflepuff," said Tracy from behind Elara.

"And me in Slytherin," Indigo agreed. "Mum always calls me a sly snake -"

"M," Elara said suddenly. "The answer is the letter M."

The door swung open in front of them and they passed over the threshold into the atrium of the common room.

|

The weather was perfect for Quidditch. It was sunny despite being mid-October and although it was still cold, there was only a light breeze in the air.

The game was soon in full swing. Elara was a Chaser and she knew she was good at it too. She weaved, dived, dipped and twisted and scored three goals within the first ten minutes.

Indigo had been right. Malfoy had carried the Slytherin team.

Yet she wasn't as successful as Elara was. Harper kept shoving and ramming into her from what Elara could tell in the midst of the game. It didn't look like either of them had their eyes on the snitch.

"Watch out!"

Elara ducked just as Stuart whizzed by her, beating a Bludger back the way it came.

"Thanks!" she called out but it was lost in the wind and she focused herself and went to steal the Quaffle from Marcus Flint.

She fixed her eyes on his green streaking figure below her and leaned down close to her broom, honing in on him. She'd be able to fly past him and snatch the Quaffle before he even got to aim at the hoops that Cho should have been defending if she hadn't been hit with a Bludger a moment before. Elara was in the perfect position - right in Flint's blindspot. He'd never see her coming.

The captain, Roger Davies, suddenly pulled up besides Elara. "Fall back, Jacobs! I got him."

Elara would've retorted but she couldn't risk turning her head and losing Flint. He was going straight for the hoops. There was no use in Roger trying to intercept him - Elara already had it covered.

"Jacobs! I said -"

Elara blocked out her captain's voice and instead, increased her speed.

She could tell from his body posture that Flint was about to take aim. And he rarely missed.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she gripped her broom tighter and dipped into a dive at such breakneck speed, she didn't know if she'd be able to stop herself.

_ I'm too late,  _ she despaired as she raced towards Flint. His arm was already cocked in position and the Quaffle was leaving his hand. It would be an easy shot with the unguarded hoops - she heard the Ravenclaws in the crowd boo.

She did the only thing she could think of - she jumped.

Without the broom underneath her, gravity took over and she was hurtling downwards.

She heard the crowd gasp and then hush in silence - there was a high chance she would keep falling and hit the ground in an unfortunate mess of blood and bones.

The Quaffle slammed into her with such force her fall slowed for a second - just enough time for her to summon her broom under her and take off again, wobbling slightly from the impact but wholly intact.

She zipped towards the opposite side of the pitch, going into a Dionysus dive to avoid a Bludger and weaving around two Chasers before faking a throw and then chucking the Quaffle into the hoop.

The crowd was screaming so loud, she could even make out that they were chanting her name.

She heard whooping from Stuart and smiled but it quickly faded when she caught Roger's furious gaze.

Oh, would she get it later.

The Ravenclaw common room was alive with the victory of the game against Slytherin.

Indigo and Elara were smothered as soon as they stepped in. Indigo had caught the snitch soon after Elara's suicide mission to get the Quaffle and even though Elara had gotten quite a scolding from the captain in the dressing room afterwards, she was still high on the victory.

Elara, Stuart and Indigo pushed their way through the crowd, making a bee line for where Tracy was.

"Merlin, Elara, what a maneuver! You should've seen Flint's face!"

"I saw the way you rammed Harper out of the way to get the snitch, Indi! We were ecstatic."

"You guys were fantastic," Tracy agreed as they all collapsed on the sofa. "I was on the edge of my seat. Stuart, you should've seen how the Ravenclaws roared when you sent that Bludger into Zabini's back. It was so loud my eardrums burst."

Stuart cracked a smile, waving his wand to start the fire in the fireplace. "Thanks, Trace. I'm glad someone noticed me while these two were stealing the show." He nudged both Indigo and Elara.

Elara laughed. "Oh, come now, Stuart. Who  _ wouldn't  _ focus on your handsome face?"

"Oh, bollocks," Indigo gasped. "I've forgotten to do my History of Magic homework! How many pages was it?"

"Ten," Elara answered, sending her friend a sympathetic look. "It took me all of last night to finish it."

Indigo groaned. "Shit!"

"I'll help," offered Tracy. "I have two pages left anyway. We should start soon though."

Elara glanced at the clock.  _ Crap.  _ It was already past six and she was supposed to have been at the Astronomy Tower ten minutes ago.

"I gotta run." She jumped to her feet. "I have to talk to Professor McGonagall about whether I can add a class."

"Class? Which one -" Stuart began but Elara was already hurrying out of the room.

She bumped into Draco as she was rushing up the Astronomy Tower staircase.

He barely blinked when he saw her and instead, brushed past her, his expression shuttered.

"I'm sorry," she gasped out, out of breath. "I got caught up -"

"We'll meet tomorrow." His tone was clipped and she turned and followed after him, skipping a couple steps so she could reach him and grab his arm.

"I can't tomorrow," she said, desperately. She had to give Snape a report tomorrow. Today was all she had. "I'm sorry, there was a Quidditch match -"

"I know. But you're late and I don't see why I should waste my time if you're not even willing to show up -"

"Listen, I pulled a stunt in today's match and so my captain was furious with me and then I had to go back to the common room afterwards or people would be suspicious and I know the last thing you want is for people to think you and I are... meeting. "

Draco glanced at her, silent for a long moment while Elara caught her breath. Then finally, he said, "What did you do?"

"I... What?"

He turned to face her and then headed back up the way he came, saying over his shoulder, "You said you pulled a stunt in Quidditch. What did you do?"

Relieved, Elara trailed behind him, her dark hair whipping in the wind as they ascended. "I had to get the Quaffle from Flint and he was just about to score but I was too far away and Cho had just been hit with a Bludger so she wasn't guarding the hoops. So I basically jumped off my broom and went into a dive."

Draco raised his eyebrow. "You dove off your broom?"

"Yeah," she replied, uncertainly, as they alighted into the ramparts where they practiced. She could see a storm brewing in the distance. "I managed to stop the Quaffle."

Draco went over to lean on the railing, staring out over Hogwarts' grounds. His eyes also fixed on the storm. "That takes some balls, Jacobs. You could've been seriously injured."

"It was either that or let Slytherin win," she quipped, moving to stand beside him and sending him a sly smile. "I couldn't let that happen, now could I?"

It may have been just the residual euphoria of the victory earlier but she could've sworn Draco smiled a genuine smile.

  
  
  



	7. seven

"I SAW HIM WITH HIS LITTLE POSSE by Hagrid's hut but that's probably just because he wanted to taunt Harry Potter."

Snape sat behind his desk, watching her as she spoke, the tips of his fingers on each hand pressed together.

"He's doing exceptionally well in Potions - which is expected. He's a marvel at it, really. And you already know how he is in DADA -"

"He's still first in my class," Snape mused, sitting back. "He's even surpassed repulsive Miss Granger."

"Yes." Elara ignored the pang of jealousy she felt as she realised her parents would scold her to no end for not being first in every class. "He mentioned once that since he's the Malfoy heir, he's expected to know how to duel better than his peers so that could explain -"

"He's right," Snape cut her off, his dull eyes thoughtful. "As the only son of the most powerful pureblood family in history, I wouldn't be surprised if Draco Malfoy knew how to waltz as well as he duels."

Elara could believe that. She'd seen Draco waltz at two balls so far and she'd never forgotten the graceful way he moved and how he'd seemed to have been doing it forever.

"Right. Well. That's all for this week." She turned to leave.

"And how are your dueling classes going with him?"

Elara faltered and slowly, turned back to face her teacher. "Good," she said, carefully. "Despite his sarcastic remarks, he can be patient when he wants to be."

Snape didn't say anything.

Elara took the hint. "I mean, he - sometimes -" She inhaled a breath and tried again. "Sometimes, I catch these glimpses of him. Who he is without that stupid mask he always wears. But it's so brief and so far and few in between -"

"That's enough for us," Snape told her, fixing her with those steely eyes. "Considering that he doesn't show anybody else that, I'd say that's progress. Get him to trust you, Jacobs. It's the only way you'll be able to get anything out of him."

_ Easier said than done. _

_ | _

"Focus. You need to put all your energy into this. Concentrate. Put aside all your worries about your classes and Quidditch and your non-existent love life."

Elara barely contained the roll of her eyes. "Just couldn't pass up the opportunity, could you?" She glared at her pointed wand, trying to feed her energy into it.

"I said, focus," came Draco's stern voice from behind her. "Channel all your emotions, all your feelings into your wand."

Elara blew out a breath and tried again. It had been almost a month of Draco training her and although she'd gotten better, especially at deflecting spells and aiming them, non-verbal spells still seemed to stump her whenever he commanded her to.

"I can't," she huffed, frustrated. "It just - nothing happens!"

"That's cause you're not focusing," he growled, stepping closer to fix her wand arm back up. She ignored the shivers that ran down her arm. "Imagine letting all your emotions leak from your mind into your shoulder and then into your arm and to your wrist and fingertips. Picture your mind emptying of everything as you do so."

Elara shook her head, dropping her arm and moving away. "I can't!"

Draco tilted his head back, looking up at the sky with those silver eyes as if asking it to help him. "Out of everyone who needed my help, it had to be you, didn't it?"

"You're the one who offered to teach me," she shot back, coldly.

"A choice I will regret till the day I die," he responded, equally icy. "Now get back in position."

"I can't," she repeated with a shake of her head. "I'm burned out -"

"We've barely been practicing an hour."

"Yes but it's late and I've been studying the whole day and I had a fifteen page essay due that I  _ still  _ have to finish despite the fact that I've been working on it for a week now." Elara forced herself to inhale deeply and realised to her horror, that the back of her eyes were stinging.

"What essay?" Draco asked as she collapsed with a heavy sigh on the old desk nearby.

"Goblin rebellions," she said, dryly, vigorously rubbing at her eyes in the hopes that she'd get rid of the urge to cry.

"History of Magic?"

"No, Astronomy.  _ Obviously  _ History of Magic!" She knew she was unloading her stress onto him but she couldn't help it. Her vision blurred and she cursed, burying her face in her hands.

She heard his footsteps move closer but didn't look up. She didn't want to see his infuriatingly handsome face sneering at her for crying.

"Let's go do it then."

It took Elara a second to understand what he was saying. She gritted her teeth and furiously wiped a tear that fell. "You're offering to help me? Without the threat of someone else raping me?"

Draco scoffed. "It's either that or I fuck you."

Elara's mouth went dry almost immediately, nerves gathering in her stomach.  _ Did he just say that? _

His eyes were still fixed on hers, a lazy smirk on his face. "What? It's a good way to relieve stress. Why do you think I did it all of last year?"

"Thanks for reminding me I was your little toy," she bit out, looking away. She'd craved him so much the past two months and he wasn't helping at all.

"Come now," he mocked, obviously enjoying her squirm. "You used me too. Mummy and Daddy always on your back to be top of the class, wasn't it? Well, I'm glad you found some solace in my -"

"Stop." Heat crept up her neck. "I don't want to talk about this."

Draco lifted a casual shoulder. "Fine. Let's go then."

"Where?" Elara pulled the sleeve of her jumper over her palm and wiped her wet cheeks, hastily.

"To the library," he said, annoyed. "To do your stupid essay."

Elara considered protesting - but she really did need help.

So she followed him, quietly, to the library where they found a cozy corner and she summoned her parchment.

"You've already done alright," he told her after skimming through whatever she'd written before. "You just need to wrap it up."

"But I don't know how to. Everything I come up with sounds void and I feel like McGonagall will definitely cut marks on it."

Draco hummed, softly, to himself, his eyes focused on the parchment in front of him. He was so deep in thought: his eyebrows furrowed, his jaw taut, his long fingers twirling and tapping the quill, deftly.

The dim lighting of the corner they'd picked removed all the harshness from his features and even his hair looked soft and wavy, having been jostled by the strong breeze on their way from the Astronomy Tower. It had been drizzling the whole day and raindrops had caught in his hair and on the fabric of his shirt, catching the light and making him look absolutely ethereal.

She probably looked a mess compared to him with her wild, dark hair and pink cheeks. Even her lips were chapped from her biting them all the time. She wished she was prettier - maybe then Draco would want to -

Elara shook herself out of her slightly creepy thoughts - she never thought going without sex for this long could do this to her.

She'd gone without sex with Draco for the whole summer and now it had barely been two months and she was wishing she could change herself to please him? She needed help.

"There. It's done."

Elara was suddenly aware of the absence of the sound of the quill scratching against parchment and started.

Draco was frowning down at his work, his lower lip in between his teeth. Elara realised there was a tiny drop of blood from where he was biting down, obviously not realising it.

Her heart fluttered and she suppressed a sigh. It was impossible not to find him attractive.

She reached out and grabbed his chin, gently, before turning his face towards hers. His eyes lost their focused look and dragged up to hers, confusion flickering in them.

She couldn't bring herself to look up at his eyes and chose to focus her gaze on his mouth as she dragged her thumb across his lower lip, swiping away the small drop of blood in the process.

She could feel his gaze on her face, studying her, searching her features and her stomach seemed to do somersaults. She liked catching him off guard - it made her feel powerful. Which was hard to feel when you were in the presence of Draco Malfoy.

Slowly, his hand came up and his slender fingers wrapped around her wrist, cold rings pressing into her skin. Her eyes flickered to the movement as he pulled her hand away from his face, slowly, never taking his eyes off her as he did so.

The moment shattered like time had the tendency of doing and suddenly, she was rushing to explain herself.

"You were bleeding." She cleared her throat and looked down at the parchment, pretending to read what he'd written.

"McGonagall will give you full marks on this," he said, curtly, ignoring her remark. He pushed himself to his feet, all boyishness of the person he'd been a few moments before gone without a trace. "Next time, try to pull yourself together without me having to do your essay so we can actually practice and I don't have to waste my time on you."

With that, he disappeared between the aisles and Elara called after him, indignantly, "You offered!"

He was so  _ infuriating.  _ She wistfully wished she could hex him.

|

"Who are you writing to?"

Elara looked up to meet George Weasley's eyes from across the library table.

"Our parents," Elara responded with a smile. "You?"

"Mum," he replied, cheerfully. "I reckon it's the first time I've ever sent her a letter. She writes to me every week but Ron always writes back so Freddy and I don't ever really need to."

Freya quirked an eyebrow. "You don't think maybe your mother wants to hear from you? Not just Ron?"

Elara elbowed her, subtly. Freya had a habit of immediately forming a vendetta against anybody who didn't write to their family. Elara reckoned it stemmed from her sister's own intense need to be informed on anything and everything.

George just shrugged. "That's why I'm writing to her now, isn't it?" He grinned at Freya and Elara realised with a start that he fancied her - it was obvious in the way he was looking at her.

She stifled a smile. George Weasley and Freya Jacobs?

They were on complete opposite sides of the spectrum, although that hadn't stopped them from being friends for years now.

"You're an idiot, George." Freya rolled her eyes and got back to writing her letter.

"Of course I am. You wouldn't be friends with me if I wasn't, now would you?"

Freya smiled down at her parchment and Elara quickly got up from the table. "Gotta run!" she said, cheerfully, gathering her things.

She didn't miss the pinkness of her sister's cheeks as she left.

  
  



	8. eight

ELARA WISHED she'd just slept.

Her eyelids were already drooping and it was so cold in the castle that night. She just wanted to be wrapped up in her blanket back in the common room.

But instead, she was waiting for Draco Malfoy to emerge from the Slytherin common room -  _ if  _ he ever did. For all she knew, he could be lying fast asleep in his bed while she froze to death in the corner of the hallway.

Half of her wished she'd never gotten involved with Draco last year - it certainly would have spared her a lot of trouble this year.

But the other half knew that although she'd never told him, he'd become her saving grace last year.

She'd liked how he didn't ask questions, even if it was out of lack of interest. She could be crying and he wouldn't even venture to ask if she was okay. He didn't ask because he didn't care and to Elara, whose life seemed to be constantly invaded by her family, she'd cherished his uninterested attitude.

But somehow, he'd understood that what she needed was a distraction and he'd given it to her - solely for his own benefit, of course, but then again, he  _ could  _ have picked any other girl.

Elara rubbed her arms, cursing herself for not wearing something warmer.

She glanced at the clock nearby - it was ten past twelve. She'd been here for nearly four hours. If she was caught, she was sure she'd get more of a dressing down than she'd gotten from McGonagall when she had been late.

Sighing, quietly, Elara began to move but froze in her tracks when she heard the sound of the wall shielding the Slytherin common room sliding up. Someone would be coming up the staircase any second now.

She shrank back into the shadows, peering through the darkness to try and see who it was.

Draco's hair caught the light before she saw his face but as soon as he appeared at the top of the staircase, she could make out his tall frame and broad shoulders.

She pressed herself against the wall as he glanced around and then began to head down the corridor.

He kept to the shadows like her and Elara pulled the hood of her cloak over her head just in case he spotted her. That way, there would still be a chance he wouldn't be able to recognise her before she got away.

She followed him down, corridor after corridor, only stopping to hide from Peeves who seemed to be giggling to himself but then Elara turned the corner of a corridor Draco had just gone around and came to a halt.

He was gone.

That was impossible. There was no other place he could go and the corridor was so long there was no way he crossed that distance in the five seconds it took her to come after him.

Stealthily, Elara scoured the corridor, peeking into alcoves but Draco was nowhere to be seen.

_ Did he have an Invisibility Cloak? _

That was unlikely, considering there was only one and she knew Harry Potter had it. Plus, even if he did somehow have a copy, why not use it all the way from the Slytherin common room?

Stumped, Elara turned to start moving back towards the Ravenclaw Tower when she felt something brush her leg. Something soft and undeniably feline.

It clicked in her mind a second too late. There was only one staff member with a cat in this castle.

"Out for a late night stroll, Miss Jacobs?"

Elara's heart jumped and she froze, swearing under her breath before she turned to face Filch.

"I -" She scrambled for an excuse but Filch had already grabbed her by her ear, sneering at her, as he dragged her towards the nearest office - Professor Slughorn's.

"Filch, what is the meaning of this?" the Professor asked, frowning, as Elara was yanked into the room after Filch.

"Out past curfew, sir," Filch spat out, looking at Elara with disdain. "Hours past, in fact. I think she deserves a good dressing down, sir."

Elara scowled at him and Filch responded with a terrible grin.

"Yes - well - now, Filch, let her go." Slughorn stood from his desk. "I shall give her detention but you needn't hold onto her ear like that."

Reluctantly, the caretaker released her ear and Elara refrained from rubbing her sore ear.

"You may leave, Filch."

Elara got detention for the following night, her task being to copy out five hundred pages of Slughorn's notes and retired, desolated, to her common room.

She hushed Tracy when she woke to ask where she'd been and fell into her bed, promptly falling asleep.

|

Elara was so frustrated she felt she could cry. And she hated crying - she'd done enough of it whenever she was home for the summer.

But she couldn't, for the life of her, find  _ stupid  _ Draco Malfoy anywhere in this damn castle and the frustration, coupled with the fact that she'd be spending her entire night in Slughorn's office, had her in such a stormy mood even her friends didn't prod her about it.

And it hadn't helped that Snape had told her, quite bluntly, that he couldn't get her out of detention - even if he was the reason she was getting it.

Personally, she thought he enjoyed seeing her punished.

"If I managed to get you out of detention, don't you think someone will notice and get suspicious?" he'd drawled, coldly. "Slughorn may not be the brightest but even he would be suspicious if I insisted on getting a disobedient pupil out of detention."

Elara pushed the remembrance of the conversation out of her mind and stormed out onto the Wooden Bridge.

_ Finally. _

She caught sight of Draco's white blond hair and stomped up to him, ignoring the cold wind that stung her cheeks.

"Draco."

He barely turned but his eyes slid to glance at her before turning back to look out over the ravine. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking for you everywhere," she spat out.

"Oh?" He still didn't face her, instead leaning on his forearms over the railing.

"Yes. Why, for Merlin's sake, are you out here in the cold?"

His only response was a raise of his shoulder.

Inhaling deeply to keep her bad mood at bay, Elara started again. "I can't meet you tonight."

That got his attention and he turned his head to look at her. "You already cancelled last week."

She clenched her jaw, briefly. "Yes. Because I had to study."

She spied Peeves drifting towards them from the other end of the bridge.

Draco shook his head with a scoff. "And I suppose you've got to study tonight too? Really, you're starting to sound like Granger -"

"I have detention," she interrupted, sharply. "At eight. With Slughorn. So I won't be able to come to the Astronomy Tower. Sorry."

She turned to leave but he spoke again. "What did you get detention for? Late again?"

Elara couldn't tell him it was for staying out past curfew - if he somehow found out it had been on the same night he'd snuck out of the Slytherin common room, she knew he'd put two and two together.

"Just -" she began but was cut off by a wild laugh.

"She was sneaking down corridors, weren't you, missus?" Peeves had reached them and he grinned, maniacally, before passing through Elara.

She shivered, the uncomfortable feeling making her nauseous, and Peeves chuckled again. "I saw you, I did. Who do you think told Filch that you were out and about?"

Elara's nails dug into her palm and if she could have pummeled the poltergeist, she would have.

"If you weren't already dead," she said, calmly, "I would make sure you were."

Peeves only cackled before drifting off, humming to himself.

Elara looked back at Draco and was startled to find him looking at her so murderously. She bit back her surprise and simply asked, "What?"

His eyes had darkened into a stormy grey, his features tense, and she'd never seen him look so hostile - and she'd seen him hostile  _ a lot. _

"Wh -"

His sentence came to an abrupt halt as his eyes fixed on something behind her. As quick as it had come, his anger was gone, replaced with the usual mask of indifference.

She soon realised it was a  _ someon _ e behind her as the sound of footsteps reached her ears.

"What are you doing with Ravenclaw scum, Draco?"

Elara gritted her teeth as Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott came into view, Blaise smirking at his own comment.

"I was just leaving," she said, coolly, glancing at Draco. Her hair whipped into her face as she whirled around to walk away.

"Aw, not so feisty now, are we, Jacobs?" Blaise taunted, yanking on her elbow. Her breath caught in her throat and she shoved him away, sending him a deadly glare. "You're awfully silent now that your little boyfriend isn't here to defend you, huh?"

She knew he meant Stuart - he seemed to have the same effect on Blaise that Harry Potter had on Draco.

"Fuck off, Blaise," she ground out, feeling like she was at the end of her rope. It had been a bad week. She just wanted to get through it. Why did everyone have to bother her?

"The little Ravenclaw whore," Blaise spat with such animosity even Theodore winced. Blaise stepped forward, cornering her against the railing and it bit painfully into her lower back. If he tried anything, she'd have nowhere to go and he could easily shove her over the railing and into the ravine below. "I must say, I'd like to try you sometime considering that the entire school seems to have gotten their fair share -" 

Elara's vision flashed red and she was vaguely aware of her body jerking forward but then a tall, black-clad frame was in front of her, a familiar back blocking her view of Blaise.

"Enough." Draco's voice was cold. "She's not worth it, Blaise. Let her go."

"You're oddly defensive, Malfoy."

"You're wasting your time," Draco answered. "And I do remember your mother threatening to pull you out of here if you caused trouble again."

Elara couldn't see him but Blaise must have stepped back because then Draco moved aside, making enough space for her to leave.

She did so, cursing both Draco and Blaise in her head and wondering if it was too late to drop out of Hogwarts.

|

"You've got lovely handwriting, my dear."

Elara looked up from she was writing out her sixth sheet of parchment. "Thanks, Professor."

Professor Slughorn leaned back in his chair and the sounds it made were worrying in the least. "I  _ am  _ sorry I had to give you detention."

Elara believed him - the Potions teacher seemed so clumsy and well-meaning that she couldn't  _ not. _

"I understand, sir," she responded, politely. "I was breaking rules after all."

She went back to scratching out his notes, the only sound in the room the quill on the parchment and the ticking of the clock over the mantlepiece.

Elara suddenly started, glancing up at the door. Had she imagined it or had there been a knock?

"Sir -" she began, placing down the quill. "Shall I get that?"

"Please, dear." He went back to examining a sheet of parchment.

Elara padded over to the door, relieved that she had gotten a break; her hand was positively aching and she had so many more sheets to go. Stifling a despondent sigh, she pulled open the door to face empty space.

"There's no one - oh." She reached down and picked up the box of chocolates lying at the threshold of the doorway. "It seems someone sent you some chocolates, Professor."

She turned and shut the door behind her, her eyes catching a glimpse of the note stuck on the top of the box.

_ Ocard's Chocolates. _

And beneath it, a tiny drawing of a snake.

Realisation settled in Elara's chest and she stifled a smile, crossing the room to hand the box of chocolates to the Professor. "There you go, sir."

"Oh! I wonder who they're from. Ocard, it says." He frowned down at the label.

"He's a very famous chocolatier," Elara replied. "Very expensive too. Whoever got this for you definitely spent a lot of money on it. My mother used to take me there as a child - it's where all the young people flock. "

She watched as the Potions teacher's eyes glazed over. "Well... I guess it would be a waste if I didn't try just one. I'm on a diet, you know."

Elara took her seat again as he slid open the box and popped a chocolate into his mouth. "Mmm, caramel! Do try one, Miss Jacobs."

"Oh, no, thank you, Professor," she answered with a sweet smile. "I'm afraid I have a 'no-sweets-past-nine' rule."

"Are you sure?" He took another one and gulped it down, followed by a heart-shaped one. "They really are very good. I must visit this Ocard some time."

Elara bit into her lower lip to prevent herself from giggling.

She continued her task, feeling a lot more rejuvenated.

Just as she expected, Professor Slughorn keeled over, fast asleep on his desk, not even five minutes later.

She tried calling his name and shaking him but it was obvious that he was knocked out cold - whatever had been in the chocolates had been a very good sedative.

She waited another five minutes before getting up and moving over to the door, twisting the knob.

Her hunch had been correct. Draco Malfoy was leaning against the wall opposite the door, arms crossed over his chest, ankles crossed over each other. "Finally," he exhaled, impatiently. "You took your sweet time."

"Ocard?" she said, disapprovingly, as soon as she laid eyes on him. "That's hardly subtle, Draco."

He rolled his eyes. "I hardly think Slughorn is going to realise it's my name backwards. Especially since I'm sure you sold the idea of Ocard being some kind of master chocolatier."

Elara smiled and was surprised when she found it was genuine. It was even more of a blow to her chest when she realised Draco was smiling back.

Snapping herself out of it, she held her hand out. "Can I have your wand? Slughorn has mine and I really don't want to have to grope him all over to find it."

He tossed it to her and followed her into the office.

After summoning her wand, which appeared out of their teacher's back pocket, she cast a spell to complete all five hundred pages of notes and then turned to Draco.

"Now what?"

They ended up by the Great Lake.

"So you got me out of detention just to spend some time with me?" she asked, jokingly, as they sat by the shore, watching the moonlight dance off the soft waves. "I thought you'd want to train."

"I was going to," he replied, easily. He looked boyish in the moonlight - younger even. "But they're having a class up there today. Third years."

"It's hardly near midnight yet," she pointed out. It had to be around ten. "We still would've had time."

He sent a sidelong glance towards her. "Teaching you is a futile effort," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Plus, you're too easily stressed. You look like you haven't slept in days and desperately want to pitch yourself off the Astronomy Tower."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement," she quipped. Despite it all, she felt better tonight than she had since she'd arrived at Hogwarts at the beginning of this year. She'd successfully gotten out of a torturous detention  _ and  _ out of an equally painful teaching session with Draco.

Plus, she'd always loved water and sitting by the Great Lake with no other distraction but Draco was oddly calming. He never prodded her or asked questions. He just mocked her and snapped at her and those were things she could handle.

He was quiet that night which was a change from the verbal bruising he always insisted on giving her but Elara didn't mind. She'd take the opportunity to sit in the peace and quiet of the Hogwarts grounds - even if it was with Draco Malfoy.

She had no idea why he wanted to sit with her or why he'd  _ really  _ not wanted to teach her despite going through the whole effort of getting her out of detention.

Despite the lingering curiosity to press him for answers, to delve deeper into the mess that was Draco Malfoy and somehow extract the information Snape needed, Elara kept her mouth shut and rested her chin on her knees.

She'd have to wait a little more to get answers out of him. That was okay.

They had time.

  
  



	9. nine

"DRACO!"

Elara looked up from where she sat, three different books on star charts open in front of her.

Pansy Parkinson was storming towards Draco's table, her elegant face contorted in anger.

"Where have you been?" she hissed, earning looks from students sitting nearby. "We promised to meet after classes."

Elara's eyebrows raised as she turned her focus back to the books in front of her, her ears still perked to listen to the conversation.

"And as you can see," Draco drawled, putting down his quill and settling back into his seat. "I'm here."

Pansy was silent for a moment. "You promised -"

"Something came up."

"Oh, really? What?"

Elara heard the rustling of paper and then Pansy said, incredulously, "How to break Anti-Apparition wards? For Merlin's sake, why are you reading -"

Elara looked up again just in time to see Draco slam the book he was reading shut, his glare murderous. "None of your bloody business, Pansy. Since when do you care about anything more than finding a way to get into my bed?"

Elara suppressed a gasp and looked away again, her curiousity peaked. He was studying Anti-Apparition wards.  _ Why? _

And was he really fucking Pansy?

Elara shoved the last thought away, disgusted with herself.

Pansy was so silent Elara glanced at her to see if she was still there. She was red in the face and strands of her soft hair had escaped from the knot on top of her head in her rush here.

"You, Mr. Malfoy," she breathed, her chest heaving, "are the most heartless bastard I've ever met."

With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the library, ignoring the glances she received as she did.

Elara scratched out a few more notes onto her parchment and said, just loud enough for Draco to hear, "I'm inclined to agree with her."

She looked up to see Draco's gaze flicker to her from across her. He was one table away but looked like he wouldn't hesitate to reach over and throttle her.

"Shut up, Jacobs," he growled, sneering at her.

"Make me." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and she cursed, inwardly.

Draco's eyes darkened for a moment and suddenly, he pushed himself to his feet, crossing the space to her table with easy, long strides.

Elara's fingers tightened over the quill in her hand as he came to stand next to her chair, one hand gripping the back of it, the other flat against the desk as he leaned over her.

She settled her gaze on the rings on his fingers, trying not to tremble from his mere proximity.

His breath ghosted her ear when he spoke. "Astronomy Tower. At eight."

Elara opened her mouth to protest - she was tired already - but when his teeth grazed the shell of her ear, her words died in her throat.

She was glad they were hidden from view from the others in the library as she felt her face warm. He was so close.

She felt him smirk and he brought up one hand to drag the back of his hand down her cheek, his rings cool on her skin. His touch was so light, barely there.

Elara still shivered, her heart rate increasing.

His eyes stayed on her face while hers stayed focused ahead.

"Don't be late," he whispered, his breath hot on her neck before he pulled away and picked up the book from his table, striding away.

Elara exhaled, shakily, feeling as if she'd been holding her breath the entire time.

|

He was leaning on his elbows on the railing, his back turned to her, his hands loosely clasped, as Elara reached the top of the staircase.

She tried to calm her racing heartbeat and approached him, keeping her steps slow. "I'm here. What do you want me for?"

He didn't answer, just kept those sharp eyes looking out over Hogwarts grounds. A mass of black clouds loomed over the Forbidden Forest.

"Draco?" she said, quietly, stopping behind him. Cautiously, she reached her hand out to grab his shoulder.

As soon as her fingers grazed the material of his white shirt, he was whirling around, his wand pointed straight at her.

She felt the spell hit her straight in the chest and she was thrown back, slamming straight into the table behind them.

Her vision went black for a second, the breath knocked out of her lungs, and a cry fell from her lips.

Reaching her wand, she pulled it out and said, "Expelliarmus!"

He deflected it, easily, advancing on her and she pressed a hand to her sternum where the pain was blooming in a red-hot burn.

She scrambled back, casting spell after spell at him, panting as he deflected each one with a lazy flick of his wrist, his eyes dark and trained on her.

Elara stumbled and he cast a silent spell on her. She ducked her head and cast a Stupefy one on him but her aim was off and it barely missed his shoulder.

"Don't dodge," he growled, stalking closer. He reminded her of a panther circling its prey. "Defend."

Elara winced as she took a breath and sent another spell his way. He deflected it away without so much as a flinch and cast another red spell, aiming straight for her chest.

She twisted away from it, gasping as her sternum erupted in pain from the movement. " _ Stop!" _

He ignored her, closing the last few steps between them. "I said,  _ defend _ ."

Another spell left his wand and he was too close for her to dodge it. She tried to wave her wand and defend it but she could barely focus with the intense pain in her sternum and the spell hit her shoulder, pushing her back until her back collided with the wall behind her.

She tried and failed to cast another spell and Draco's next spell hit her in her right arm, forcing her to drop her wand.

"Draco -" she gasped out, cradling her arm to her chest and looking up at his towering frame. Fear laced through her veins like ice, her heart thundering against her ribs.

He looked down at her, impassive, his face a deadly mask.

Elara felt her heart crawl into her throat as she stared up at him, her chest heaving, the back of her eyes stinging. She couldn't decipher a single emotion on his face.

"Draco -" she forced out, wincing as her arm burned in pain.

He raised his hand and Elara flinched, shrinking back.

She wanted to shut her eyes but couldn't and her shoulders shook as he raised his arm. She steeled herself for another hex.

But when his hand came up to rest on her cheek, firm but gentle, her lips parted and she didn't dare drag her eyes away from his.

Draco's gaze burned into her as he dragged his thumb across her cheekbone, softly. "You just might be," he mused, so quiet he could've been talking to himself, "the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

Elara's shoulders trembled as she inhaled another breath with difficulty. "What the  _ fuck  _ is wrong with you? You just hexed the living daylight out of me and now you're telling me you like my face?"

The moment shattered and he stepped back, dropping his hand away from her face.

Wordlessly, he took her right hand and held the tip of his wand against it. The familiar icy feeling of a healing spell washed over her and she inhaled, sharply, as her arm stopped throbbing.

"Raise your shirt."

She would've found the request arousing if the circumstances had not been so terrible.

She obeyed, silently, and stiffened as one large hand slid to her waist, holding her in place as he pressed his wand to her sternum, muttering a spell under his breath.

For all she knew, he could be making slugs grow in her lungs.

But then, the spell washed over her and she cried out, grabbing onto Draco's arm as her broken rib began to shift back into place.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!  _ Shit!" _

She squirmed in his grip, the discomfort so intense she thought she was going to pass out and Draco gritted his teeth, his thumb grazing over her hip in circles as he kept his wand pressed up against her, not willing to let her go until the spell was finished.

Elara gasped for breath, her hair sticking to her face and the back of her neck and she whimpered, digging her nails into the fabric of his shirt.

She could've sworn his face blanched but then it was over and he was stepping away.

"You..." She gritted her teeth, straightening her shoulders. "You foul, loathsome -"

"Your enemy isn't going to give you a warning before he attacks you, Jacobs."

Just like that, her argument died in her throat. "You... You were testing me?"

Draco scoffed. "Of course I was. What, you thought I was actually trying to kill you?" Seeing the expression on her face, he chuckled. "It wouldn't have taken me that long."

Elara balled her fists and made to hit him but she stumbled, still shaky on her feet. He caught her easily, slipping his arms around her to pick her up and carry her to the table.

"Put me down!" she tried to yell but it came out weak and broken. "Draco!"

He exhaled in exasperation by her ear and then she was being set down on the table so gently, she barely realised it was there for a few seconds.

"You could've killed me," she bit out.

He shook his head. "I wouldn't hurt you."

Elara stared at him like he'd just turned into a reindeer. "You  _ just  _ hexed me about fifty times."

He rolled his eyes. "I hexed you thrice. You managed to dodge two so I'll give you credit for that despite the fact that I told you to defend."

Elara felt her heart rate finally slowing and looked up at Draco. He was so tall, looming over her, his eyes focused on her face.

"I would've appreciated a warning," she muttered, tearing her gaze away.

Suddenly, she tasted blood and realised she'd sunk her teeth into her lip so hard she'd drawn blood. Her hand lifted to her mouth but then Draco was batting it away.

His knuckles nudged her chin up so he could look at her lip and he clicked his tongue. "I didn't even need to try. You would've found a way to hurt yourself anyway."

He focused on her mouth, dragging his thumb across her lower lip to wipe away the blood that had now also trickled onto her chin and Elara winced, slightly.

He looked so pensive as he helped her and she finally let herself relax, choosing to believe he wouldn't set off another eight hexes on her when she wasn't expecting it.

"I wouldn't hurt you," he murmured, softly, his other hand moving to settle on her neck just below the curve of her jaw. "I wouldn't."

Elara stayed quiet for a few beats. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Her lips moved against his thumb.

He jerked away, let his hands drop back to his sides. "I knew what I was doing. I only cast spells I knew I could heal."

Elara wrapped her arms around herself as a strong breeze whipped by.

Draco stood a few steps away, hands in his pockets, head turned to the side to watch the storm move closer.

"Why were you studying Anti-Apparition wards?" she inquired, trying to change the subject. Her energy was already leaking back into her.

Draco's jaw clenched but he didn't turn his head to face her. "For Apparition class."

"Oh." Elara felt so stupid she wished he'd go back to hexing her. "I didn't know you took it."

"It was a last minute decision," he said, shortly. She could see the wall coming down behind his eyes, the barrier he was rebuilding between them now that she was out of harm's way. Why he cared, she didn't know but she needed to exploit it if she was to get anything out of him.

"Why do you do that?" she asked, suddenly. She jumped down from the table.

"What?" he asked, looking at her, questioningly.

"That thing," she said in response, taking a step towards him, "where you let your guard down for a moment and then put it back up." She surveyed his face. "You don't do it with anybody else but me."

He watched her, closely. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jacobs."

She knew he was using her name in an attempt to distance himself from this but she didn't falter. "Is it cause you care for me?" Oh god, he really  _ would  _ kill her now. "Or because you're so starved for emotional contact that you'll show yourself to the only person who really spends time with you?"

His eyes flashed. "You don't know shit about me. And out of everybody, why would I care about  _ you _ ?"

"Because I'm the only person who actually spends time with you,"she repeated. "Even if we're arguing most of the time, you've said more words to me than you've said to Pansy or Blaise or Theo in your whole life."

Draco laughed, low and unfeeling. "You're actually delusional -"

"Because you like me," she cut him off, ignoring his jab. "Maybe not  _ me  _ but how I look at least. It's why you wasted your time with me all of last year. It's why you got me out of detention last week and let me sit with you for hours by the Great Lake."

He stared at her.

" _ And  _ you called me the prettiest girl you've ever seen," she added as an afterthought. "It's okay, I'm flattered really. Don't be shy, Draco. It's okay to admit you care about someone."

Draco's mouth opened and closed. Elara had never seen him so speechless.

"I don't know how but somewhere along the way of fucking in broom closets and alcoves and empty classrooms, I started looking for you. And I must confess, since we're exposing ourselves, that I didn't really like that you were supposed to meet up with Pansy tonight."

She took a breath, too nervous to stop her blabbering. She wasn't lying at least. "I mean, it's not like I'm in love with you but I guess our little sneaky meet ups became something for me to rely on when my family was driving me up the wall, as you already know, since you bully me so much for it -"

"I don't care about you," he cut her off, harshly.

"Well,  _ that's  _ not very nice of you." She frowned. "Especially since you just hexed me and really injured me -"

"And then healed you."

"Detail."

Draco glared at her. "I couldn't care less about you, Jacobs."

"That's not what it looked like after you hexed me," she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. She was going into this blind - she had no idea what she was going to say next, just that she didn't want him to close off yet.

"You were hurt. If I hadn't been able to heal you, I would've been expelled and as much as I hate this bloody school -"

"You said you only cast spells you knew you could heal."

Draco made a noise in the back of his throat. "Stop interrupting me -"

"Are you sleeping with Pansy?" She did it again.

He clenched his jaw. "How is that any of your business?"

"I never said it was," she answered, coolly. "So? Are you sleeping with Pansy Parkinson?"

He didn't answer and she snorted, ignoring the twist in her gut. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You, out of all people, are implying Pansy's a whore?" Draco scoffed.

Elara laughed. "Oh, gosh, no. Pansy's a perfectly respectable girl and she's my partner in Herbology. She's got a talent for it, it's quite amazing." She pushed a strand of her hair out of her face. "I'm implying  _ you're  _ a whore, Draco, considering that you always imply that  _ I  _ am one and you've slept with just about the same number of people - if not more - than I have."

Draco's eyes glittered like a fox.

"Although in  _ my  _ definition," she stepped closer to him, tilting her head back to look at him,"it doesn't matter how many people you've slept with. No one should give a shit."

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

Suddenly, the conversation was turned on its head and where Elara had thought she'd been getting somewhere, Draco had proven to her she wasn't.

"What?" she said, blinking in surprise.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" he said it more as a statement than a question this time. "That's why you're doing this, right? Because you're lonely and you miss me."

Elara scrunched her nose. "Let's say that's why I'm doing it. You'd just take me right here, right now?"

Draco raised his eyebrows and shrugged. The wind ruffled his white-blond hair. "I have before, haven't I?"

Elara's core tightened. "You said you didn't want me."

"I don't," he replied, smoothly. "But I can offer out of pity for you."

She reddened, biting her tongue to keep from saying something that would make him mad and make him retract into his shell faster than he already was. "I'm offended you think I'd accept a pity fuck."

He smiled, a slow, lazy one. "You're so desperate you're pouring your heart out to me."

"Maybe I needed someone to talk to."

"I injured you just a while back."

"I thought we moved past that."

Draco laughed, looking away, and Elara braced herself as she reached for his hand.

He let her take it and she forced herself not to drop it, despite the way it made her stomach knot.

The words she was about to say made her faintly sick - Draco didn't have a reputation of handling sentiment well and she hated to be so kind to someone so heartless towards her.

"What I'm trying to say," she said, quietly, "is whatever is going on with you, if you want to...to talk to someone about it - I really have nothing better to do."

There. That wasn't  _ too  _ sappy.

She hated Severus Snape with a passion. If it hadn't been for him, she wouldn't have to demean herself like this -

"I don't need  _ help,  _ Jacobs," he said, sharply, but he didn't pull his hand out of her grip. "And I really don't need you meddling in my business -"

"I'm not," she interrupted, keeping her annoyance in check. Getting angry would only make him turn into the bitter mess he always was - and that would get her nowhere except a harsh scolding from Snape. "I think - I think I need someone too."

She felt nauseous just saying this. It was a stupid plan - to make him pity her. Did she expect him to cave and hold her?

"You have those three sorry gits you call friends," Draco retaliated, giving her a look.

Elara silently apologised to her friends for what she was about to do.

"I can't..." She hesitated. "I can't trust them. They care about me so much but they'd - they'd meddle and try to make me feel better and I don't... I don't want that. I just need someone to listen."

Draco's gaze never left hers; he was suspicious of her behaviour, it was obvious.

Quickly, Elara backtracked."I love them, I do. But sometimes, you don't need advice because really, nothing can fix the situation. They'll never understand that."

_ Forgive me, Indigo, Tracy, Stuart. _

She looked up at Draco, imploringly, and took another step towards him. Her chest brushed his and then he was stepping back, pulling his hand out of her grip.

"Listen," he said, stiffly. "I don't know  _ what  _ you're on or what kind of bullshit you've been conjuring up in that head of yours but I do not give a shit about you, Jacobs. I used you to get off and that's it." His expression was shuttered and closed off; Elara had failed. "The only reason I'm helping you in DADA is because I am not going to stand by and let another woman be raped because of me. That's all. Everything I do with you is purely transactional."

Elara started to say something but he cut her off. "I want nothing to do with you past these lessons, Jacobs. It would do you well to keep that in mind."

He turned and vanished down the stairs before Elara could speak.

  
  



	10. ten

"SO HE DISAPPEARED."

Elara nodded with a sigh. "I know it doesn't help much but I really don't know how I lost him -"

"No. This may be the most valuable piece of information you've ever given to me." Snape seemed to ponder for a moment.

Elara furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What - why?"

Snape ignored her. "Go on."

She blinked. "That's it. Then Filch caught me and I got detention like I told you on Wednesday morning when you told me you couldn't get me out of it."

Snape frowned. "I see. And you have no idea why Malfoy was out that late at night?"

Elara's gut twisted. "I would say shagging Pansy but they're in the same house so I don't see why he'd leave for that."

At Snape's disdainful look, she stared back at him. "What? You  _ do  _ know we're teenagers, right?"

She held herself back from rolling her eyes and went on. "But that's already very unlikely, seeing as how Pansy exploded on him in the library the other day."

The professor raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry.

"He was studying Anti-Apparition wards and she stormed into the library, absolutely livid, because he'd promised to meet her but then blown her off -"

Snape's eyes snapped to hers. "What did you say?"

"They were supposed to meet and he blew her off. Very Draco Malfoy-like, I must say, and she  _ did  _ call him a heartless bastard and I told him I felt inclined to agree with her -"

"Stop rambling, Jacobs. He was studying Anti-Apparition wards?"

"Oh. Yes." Elara was confused as to why Snape was suddenly so interested in Draco's reading material. "He was."

"Why?" Snape demanded, dark eyes fixed on her.

"Well. He said it was for Apparition Class."

Snape's eyebrows raised then lowered.

"What?" she demanded. "What is it?"

Snape mulled it over before he drawled, "Draco Malfoy doesn't take Apparition."

|

Elara purposely left out the part where Draco had said indirectly that he had let another woman be raped. No matter what Snape's intentions were in stalking Draco Malfoy, she didn't think  _ that _ deserved to be aired out into the open.

She couldn't deny the guilt she felt like a wound festering inside of her though. Guilt for lying and hiding from her best friends and her sister - but guilt also because she was using Draco Malfoy.

And even if he was a snide arse with a supposed superiority complex, she didn't like to lie to his face.

She had thought that the night he'd snuck her out of detention had been a turning point for them - he'd been relatively more open and pleasant to her that night.

But the show down at the Astronomy Tower proved otherwise - he was just as determined to avoid her unless he really couldn't help it.

_ But  _ they had also sat for hours by the Great Lake in comfortable silence, listening to the waves and the birds.

It was all so confusing Elara was developing a migraine.

"You can practically  _ smell  _ Christmas in the air!" Tracy inhaled, deeply, as they trekked back from Herbology.

"Trace, it's November," Stuart snorted.

"After November comes December," piped up Luna Lovegood with a soft smile. "And Christmas  _ is  _ in December."

"Are you all going back for the holidays?" Elara inquired, glancing around at her friends.

Cho shook her head. "No. I'll be here."

"I am," Stuart and Tracy chimed in.

"And Indigo is too," Elara said. Indigo didn't take Herbology and was probably laid up in the common room right now. She'd had the flu for a week now.

"How about you?" Luna asked.

"I haven't decided yet," Elara said with a tight smile. "We've still got plenty of time."

"I think most people will leave for the holidays," Cho put in, grimly. "With You-Know-Who so strong, everybody wants to spend time with their families."

Stuart nodded, his mouth a tight line. His own mother had been killed by Death Eaters when he was just a child. "Yeah. The castle will empty out for Christmas. I've heard students saying they don't feel safe here anymore."

Tracy frowned, sniffing in the cold. "Hogwarts is the safest place on the planet."

Elara squeezed her friend's hand. "Hogwarts will always be home, Trace. No matter what."

|

"Hey, Elara. Alright?"

Elara smiled up at Ron. "Hi, Ron. I was just talking to your sister." At his inquisitive expression, she elaborated. "About Quidditch. She's amazing."

Ron let out a breathless laugh, collapsing next to her on the grass. "Damn right. Sometimes I wonder where she gets it from. The rest of us are terrible at it."

Elara shook her head. "No, you're not! I've seen you keep for Gryffindor. Especially in that match against Slytherin. You were great."

He flushed a colour very similar to his hair. "Oh - well - thanks, Elara."

They fell into a comfortable silence, watching a gaggle of first years tear across the courtyard.

"Listen. I've been meaning to ask you something."

Elara turned to face Ron, expectantly. Seeing the expression on his face, she thought,  _ Oh, lord, no, Ron. Don't. _

"I mean, I just want to say first that - you can absolutely -  _ absolutely -  _ say no. You're not... uh... obliged to anything but I have to ask and I don't want you to feel like you're being forced -"

"Ron, I -" Elara caught sight of Draco passing on the other side of the courtyard and her stomach somersaulted. He was striding towards Pansy and some other Slytherin girls, the wind ruffling his hair. His face was hard as his eyes swept to meet Elara's and he gave the barest of nods.

"Elara?"

She snapped herself out of it with an inhale. "I'm sorry. I'm listening."

"Well..." Ron cleared his throat. "Actually, Harry wanted me to ask you."

All thoughts of Draco Malfoy evaporated from her head as she stared at Ron. Harry had asked Ron... to ask her out?

"Harry?" she questioned, utterly lost.

"Yes. You see - er -" Ron looked down at his hands. "He wanted to know if you wanted to join the," he glanced around to make sure no one was listening and then leaned in, "the DA."

"The...what?" Elara wasn't sure if he was pulling her leg or not.

"The DA," he said, quietly, pushing his shaggy hair out of his eyes. "Dumbledore's Army?"

"Ron," she said, blankly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Ron reddened once more. "Yes. Of course. I'll have to explain it to you somewhere more - more private. When are you free?"

Elara's curiosity peaked. "I'm - so very busy these days, Ron. But I'm willing to meet. Can I just let you know later?"

He nodded, eagerly. "Sure. Of course. I'll try to get Harry and Hermione to be there too. They're better at this than I am."

"Hermione will hate that I'm there," replied Elara with a small smile.

"Oh - no. She's just...Hermione. She'll be fine."

"Right then. I gotta run, Ron, but I'll let you know, okay?"

He gave her a shy smile and a nod as she got to her feet and waved goodbye, heading for Charms.

|

"Well, well, well, look who it is!"

Elara grimaced to herself, ignoring Fletcher's hateful voice as she stroked Buckbeak in front of her.

Care of Magical Creatures had just ended a little over fifteen minutes ago but Elara had hung around, letting her friends trudge back to the castle without her.

She loved Buckbeak - and she often stayed behind to spend time with him after class. Hagrid didn't mind and in fact, always encouraged her to.

"Cat got your tongue, Jacobs?" Fletcher sneered. She didn't even know what he was doing here - he didn't even take Care of Magical Creatures.

"Leave me alone, Fletcher," Elara sighed, stroking Buckbeak down his shoulder. The hippogriff shivered and nudged his head against her hand for more pets.

The past few weeks had been harrowing for Elara. They were now well into November and everyday, the possibility of her having to go back to her parents loomed closer. She dreaded the lectures and scoldings she'd get when they found out she wasn't top of her year.

She'd been studying as hard as she could - almost every waking moment was spent in the library or common room, if not for meals, lessons and Draco's teaching. She even sacrificed her sleep hours to get more studying in, often staying up till the sun rose again before retiring to bed for a few hours.

Hence, she did not have the energy to deal with Fletcher.

"Poor little Elara Jacobs," Fletcher chuckled. He was moving closer and Elara again wondered what the Gryffindor was doing so far from the castle. "You look like shit."

Elara exhaled, loudly, and finally dragged her eyes away from Buckbeak to look at her arch nemesis. "I was trying to steal your look. I'm glad I was successful."

Fletcher's lip curled, his freckled face contorting in disgust. "I don't remember you being so bold when you were begging for my help at the beginning of the school year. You were even willing to give me  _ anything  _ I wanted, remember? Even in the broom closet." He snickered.

Elara was tempted to tell him that Draco had taken her  _ many  _ times in the broom closet but held back the urge to wipe that smug grin off his face. She had to take the high road.

"Just shove off, Fletcher."

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and drew closer still. She could smell his scent now - an overpowering cologne that made her want to gag. "That's no way to treat a man. Especially a man you promised your body too."

Elara's insides curled. "I did not promise you anything and you are the farthest thing from a man I've ever seen. So. Shove. Off."

Fletcher's eyes clouded over. "Don't test me, Jacobs. I  _ will  _ make you regret it."

She recognised the undertones in Fletcher's voice. Maybe he'd been drinking because from his tone, she had no doubt that he would keep true to his threat.

Her hand flew to her wand concealed in her robe but she had waited too long. Fletcher's hand closed around her wrist and tugged, roughly, causing her wand to fall to the forest floor.

Elara cried out from the pain, trying to wrench out of Fletcher's vise like grip but he was much taller and much stronger than she was.

"Let me -"

"There's no one to hear you scream here," Fletcher hissed, his dark eyes flashing. "And I believe I still need to take revenge on Malfoy for Petrifying me on the train and throttling me after Potions." His smirk laced terror through Elara's blood. "Let's see how he likes his whore being  _ tainted." _

Elara's blood was roaring so loud in her ears as she thrashed, she barely heard Fletcher mutter a spell.

But she was well aware of the spreading sensation of immobility as Fletcher Petrified her. She couldn't even resist - her wand was nowhere near her and Fletcher easily overpowered her.

She cursed herself for not training in hand to hand combat with Draco.

But that thought was the furthest from her mind as Fletcher dragged her immobile body behind a tree, dodging Buckbeak's bite at his ear.

The hippogriff strained against his chain to try and reach her, his grey feathers ruffling, and screeched at the sky when he proved unsuccessful.

But Elara knew nobody would come. Even Hagrid wasn't around.

She willed her muscles to move but knew it was to no use - even her brain seemed to be sluggish and kept trying to move her arms or legs, anything to get Fletcher away.

But all she could do was watch, helplessly, as Fletcher leered at her, victorious, and then leaned over her.

Elara couldn't even cry, couldn't even whimper, as realisation dawned on her. The fear in her bones turned to ice within seconds.

Fletcher was going to rape her.

To get back at Malfoy.

And possibly, satisfy his own craving.

"I'm sure he's been rougher than I will be." His breath dragged across her ear and then he was licking a stripe down her neck.

Elara forced her muscles to move, tried to make her vocal cords work, but it was to no avail. She couldn't move even her pinky finger.

"What a delight." Fletcher's hand ghosted across the waistband of her skirt and then it was under, feeling between her thighs.

Elara sobbed, internally, her mind whirling, still fighting to free herself.

She wondered if Draco would even care that Fletcher had raped her. Maybe he'd just take it in his stride.

_ No. _

He had said he would not let another woman be raped because of him. If he found out Fletcher had done this to take revenge on him, he'd tear Fletcher to shreds. Bit by bit.

_ He'll kill you.  _ She wanted to scream it at Fletcher, wanted to instill into him the terror he had instilled in her.  _ He'll tear you apart if no one stops him. _

Fletcher's fingers stopped rubbing her and began to dip under. "I can't wait till Malfoy finds out I fucked his little toy -"

It happened so fast Elara barely registered it. She saw a red spell streak past her face and hit Fletcher square in the chest.

He was flung back, his face frozen in shock, and slammed into the trunk of another tree with a sickening crunch.

White-blond hair appeared in the corner of her vision.

Draco was here.

  
  



	11. eleven

DRACO.

She saw him cast another non-verbal spell on Fletcher, rendering him motionless.

She would've sobbed with relief if she'd been able to. She had no clue what he was doing here but at that point, she was so happy to see him she could've hugged him.

His eyes left Fletcher to rest on her and he strode over, flicking his wrist and suddenly, she was free of her invisible bonds.

Elara jerked upright, one hand against her thundering heart, the other clutching the grass underneath her as she heaved for breath, her vision flickering black.

Draco was kneeling next to her, not touching her at all but still watching her, closely. She could barely make out his grey eyes, darkened with rage, and she groaned, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to get the throbbing behind them to ease.

"Jacobs. Look at me. Focus on my voice."

His voice was muffled, as if she was underwater.

She shook her head, trying to tell him she couldn't and the world spun around her. She was disoriented and gasping for breath, feeling like her lungs were constricting into a knot.

"Jacobs -  _ fuck _ ." He seemed to realise she was having a panic attack and slid his hands into her hair, turning her head so she was forced to look at him. "Look at me. You're safe. Breathe."

She shuddered and felt wetness against her cheeks. She didn't know when she'd started crying. His hands were cold against her face and she felt as if she was burning up. Could she have a fever?

Indigo had had a fever last night. Had Elara somehow gotten the flu from her?

"... Elara.  _ Look at me." _

_ Elara. _

That was her name, wasn't it? Yes...Yes. It was. Her friends called her El, her younger sister called her Ellie. But this wasn't one of her friends or her little sister.

Who was it? She couldn't remember, couldn't drag the thought out from the depths of her mind. It was so murky, she felt as if she was sitting at the bottom of the Great Lake.

The Great Lake. She had been there. Recently. When? A few weeks ago, yes. With... With the same person in front of her right now.

Glittering grey eyes and white blond hair. She remembered those from that moonlit night. Remembered long fingers tapping on his knee, handsome features softened in the dim light.

Draco. Draco Malfoy.

_ "Elara." _

No. This couldn't be him. He never used her first name. But... But it was. His voice was familiar, awakening something inside her.

_ "Draco." _

She almost collapsed with joy when she heard her own voice. She was no longer frozen; she could talk, could move her fingers again.

"You're fine." His face swam in front of her vision and finally came into focus.

They were a little way from Buckbeak who was stomping his hooves and snorting. Sunlight filtered in through the treetops, illuminating the leaves covering the floor.

She was at Hogwarts. She was safe.

"Draco," she said again and her voice cracked but she tried again. "Draco."

Her hands were clutching at his around her face and she saw him shut his eyes for a moment before opening them back up. She was suddenly hyper aware of the feeling of his rings pressing against her cheeks, his fingers stroking the hair behind her ear. It grounded her, brought her back to reality and she breathed, deeply, filling up her lungs with much needed oxygen.

Slowly, he dropped his hands away from her face, still examining her closely. His entire body was tense, muscles coiled as if he'd spring on Fletcher any moment and remove him from existence.

Elara couldn't let that happen. "Don't," she whispered, rising to her knees in front of him. "He's not worth it. You'll be expelled."

She saw him clench his jaw. His eyes were two dangerous whirlpools of silver and she could see the rage and disgust on his face as he looked back at Fletcher, still lying beneath the tree.

Draco rose to his feet and Elara scrambled up too. Before she could blink, Draco had made it to Fletcher's side and she opened her mouth to tell him not to do anything stupid.

"If you ever," Draco said, quiet and deadly, as he crouched down next to Fletcher's body, "touch her again, I will cut off every single one of your fingers." He was a blade; sharp and exacting. "And then, I will regrow them and do it all over again and then maybe I'll do the same with each and every one of your body parts too."

Elara moved to grab him but stumbled, wavering on her feet.

"Do. Not. Come. Near. Her. Again."

With that, Draco rose to his feet and brought his shoe down hard on Fletcher's face. If he hadn't been Petrified, she was sure he would've screamed.

The bone broke in Fletcher's nose and Draco kicked him in the ribs with such vengeance, once, twice then crushed his right hand - the hand that had been under her skirt - under his heel, definitely breaking bones.

Elara lurched forward on unsteady feet, grabbed his arm and dragged him to her.

His chest was heaving as he looked down at her, his eyes so dark they were almost black.

"Enough," she murmured, tugging his arm as she stepped back and began to walk away, slowly. "Enough. Let's go."

He let her lead him away, the cold wind whipping at their faces, stopping only to grab her wand from the ground and hand it to her.

Elara could see how he was barely keeping himself in check. His mouth was pressed into a tight line, his eyes furious. He wanted to kill Fletcher - and Elara was sure he wouldn't even need his wand. He'd do it with his own bare hands.

The silence between them was heavy on Elara's shoulders as they emerged from the edge of the trees and the castle came into view.

"What were you doing there?" Elara was the first to speak and her throat felt parched.

Draco still didn't look at her. "I had detention." His muscles were still tensed as if he wanted to turn and find Fletcher again. "I was supposed to be at that oaf's hut when that damned  _ creature  _ started screaming. I went to check it out."

Elara realised he was talking about Buckbeak. "Hagrid gave you detention? You don't even take Care of Magical Creatures."

"No. I skipped Transfiguration and McGonagall decided that  _ thi _ s was the most torturous punishment, it seems."

Elara's heart was still racing in her chest and she felt faintly sick. She opened her mouth to thank Draco when he cut her off.

"You have to go to the infirmary. And we have to tell someone."

Elara's mouth shut for a moment. "No."

Draco's eyebrow raised. "No?" He fixed those steely eyes on her. "I don't remember asking."

Elara's hands clenched. "No. I can't - I don't want anyone to know. And plus, I'm fine -"

"He raped you."

Elara shook her head, frantically. "He didn't get that far. You stopped him." She was breathing heavily again and swayed on her feet. "I can't - I can't tell anyone. Please, Draco... No one -" She could feel her chest constricting again. "No one can know."

A crease appeared between Draco's eyebrows and he reached out, catching her by her shoulders. "Okay. Alright. No one will know. Just - please - breathe."

Elara's frame shuddered. They had reached the top of the hill to the castle and now stood by the rock structures Hermione had punched Draco at all those years ago.

She missed third year. She didn't know how her life had been turned topsy turvy into the mess it was now - and now - now she'd almost been -

"Elara."

All at once, she was crying again, so violently she felt she would throw up.

Draco was pulling her to him a split second later, holding her to his chest as she sobbed into his neck, her hands fisting the material of his shirt.

She didn't want to break down - especially not in front of Draco. He'd make fun of her for it after.

His hand came up to rest on the back of her head, his other arm curled around her back and she felt his breath brush against her hair.

He was so gentle - and so comforting. Nothing like Fletcher.

"Elara." His voice was soft but firm and Elara heaved for breath, trying to get herself together. "You're okay. Breathe."

His voice, low in her ear, helped something shift into place within her and it was like her head broke the surface of water. She inhaled, deeply, her shoulders trembling.

His thumb grazed up and down her back, so lightly she could hardly feel it through her shirt. But it was there and that was enough.

She took a few more deep breaths and then pulled back, rubbing her sleeve against her face to remove the wetness. "I'm sorry -"

"I don't want to hear it," Draco said, sharply. He was looking at her so intensely, her knees weakened. "Will you let me take you to the infirmary?"

Elara sniffed and was about to reply before he quickly continued, "We'll only tell them you had a panic attack. Nothing more, nothing less."

She mulled it over in her mind and then nodded, slowly. He began to head toward the castle and she trailed after him, reminding herself to breathe every few seconds.

Draco left her side only when Madam Pomfrey had Elara lying in a bed and was fussing over her.

Elara considered asking him to stay but decided against it. He'd done enough for her. She hadn't even expected that much from him.

"I think it's best you stay out of classes for at least a day, dear," Madam Pomfrey told her with a kind smile as she smoothed her hair. "I'll give you something to help the anxiety and restore your energy and then you'll be perfect. But you have to rest now."

Elara nodded, glad that Madam Pomfrey didn't press to find out  _ why  _ she'd had the panic attack. She'd accepted it when Elara had said it came out of nowhere.

When Elara awoke, it was to her friends' worried faces.

"Hey," Elara croaked and they all but attacked her.

"What the hell happened?"

"We leave you with the hippogriff and  _ this  _ is what you do?"

"Are you alright? Does anything hurt?"

"Let the girl breathe!"

That last comment was from Fred and George, standing behind Tracy, Stuart and Indigo.

"Freya's on her way," George said, catching Elara's eye. "She's worried sick."

"What exactly happened?" Indigo pressed, falling into the chair next to the bed. "When Malfoy told us what happened -"

"Draco told you?" Elara cut in, surprised.

"Malfoy," corrected Stuart. "And yes. He just told us you were in the infirmary and left. Didn't bother to give us any more information."

"Did Buckbeak hurt you?" Tracy asked, scanning Elara's face for cuts and bruises. "I don't see anything wrong with you."

_ That's because it's on the inside. _

Elara shook her head, clearing her head of the thought. She was fine.

"It was just a panic attack," she mumbled, staring at the sheets. "It came out of nowhere."

A silence ensued and she knew her friends were turning the statement over in their heads.

"You have no idea what brought it on?" Fred asked, finally. "I understand if it was my freakishly good looks."

"You mean  _ my  _ freakishly good looks," George countered, casually.

"No. You're ugly."

"We're twins!"

"So? You're still the uglier twin."

Elara giggled despite herself. "Neither of you are -"

"Elara! Are you alright? What happened? What's going on?"

Elara flinched as her elder sister pushed through her friends. "You had a panic attack? When? Where?"

"I'm fine," Elara said, quickly, as Freya grabbed her hands and began to inspect them for injury. "I really am, Freya. It was just a panic attack and it came out of nowhere. I feel fine now."

Freya tutted, her caramel eyes roaming her younger sister's face. "You're okay then? You're sure?"

Elara nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't get here earlier to dote on me," she joked with a wry smile.

"I was. You've been out of it for two days now."

Elara gaped.  _ "What?" _

"Yeah," Stuart put in. "Pomfrey gave you a Sleeping Draught. She said you needed to rest."

"I missed a whole two  _ days  _ of classes?" Elara exclaimed, already moving to get off the bed. She had to catch up on her lessons - she had already been struggling as it is, she couldn't afford to fall behind.

"You're not going anywhere," Freya said, fiercely, seizing her hand. "You're going to do exactly what Pomfrey says."

"I reluctantly must say that your sister is right on that one," George said. "It'll do you some good."

"You're burned out and it's not even December yet," Indigo agreed. "You've been studying day and night. We hardly even see you, El."

Elara shook her head. "You don't understand -"

" _ I  _ do," Freya told her, harshly. "Trust me. But Mum and Dad wouldn't want you to have panic attacks just because you're so determined to be top of your year!"

"It's impossible anyway," muttered Elara with a huff. "With both Draco and Hermione, I can never compete."

"Oh, hush," chided Tracy. "You know you're one of the smartest witches in this school."

Elars shook her head and began to reply just as Madam Pomfrey bustled over to usher her friends out.

She watched them go in relief and immediately, felt guilt stab her in the chest. They cared for her so much and she was glad they were leaving.

It was just hard to talk. She just wanted to be alone.

But there was something she had to do first.

"Madam Pomfrey?" she asked, sweetly. "Can I ask you to do a favour for your favourite patient?"

Madam Pomfrey clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Don't ask anything preposterous of me, Elara."

"I just need you to call someone here for me," Elara answered and then quickly added, "Just for ten minutes. I promise. No more."

Madam Pomfrey stiffened and glanced at the clock. "It's late, my dear. Can't you speak to them tomorrow?"

"I can't," Elara replied, wistfully. She put on her best pleading face. "Please. Just ten minutes."

Madam Pomfrey hesitated. "I really don't think -"

"If I exceed even a second over ten minutes, you have every right to report me to the Headmaster for not following orders," Elara begged. "Have some mercy on me, Madam Pomfrey."

The elderly woman stayed silent a moment longer before finally sighing. "Alright, dearie. Who do you want me to call?"

Elara smiled, gratefully, at her. "Draco. Draco Malfoy."

  
  



	12. twelve

"I COULDN'T WAIT TILL MORNING."

Elara didn't want to waste any time - she only had ten minutes with him.

Draco shrugged, his hands in the pockets of his black trousers as he walked towards her. "I was awake anyway." He glanced around the infirmary. "You're lucky no one else is here."

Elara hadn't even noticed. She tried to ignore the fact that he looked so devastatingly handsome standing in front of her, expectantly.

"Don't do anything," she blurted out before shutting her eyes to try and compose her thoughts. Why was she so flustered? It wasn't like she'd never found him attractive before.

_ Not the time. _

"About?" Draco said, slowly, his eyebrows lifting.

Elara swallowed and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Fletcher."

Draco went still.

"I saw the look in your eyes," she went on, making sure Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot. "If I hadn't been there, you would've torn him to shreds. Easily."

She saw his jaw lock. "But you were there."

Tragic. Why did he always look so tragic?

"You're saying you haven't thought of going and finding him to finish what you started?" she demanded, rising to her feet.

"You should stay in bed," he said, emotionless.

"Answer my question, Draco."

He glared down at her, all harsh eyes and tight mouth. "You want me to let him walk away? You don't want to tell anybody and that's fine but if I don't do something, he'll walk away scot-free -"

"And since when do you care?" Elara shot back. "You're Draco Malfoy. You make it quite obvious that you don't care about anybody but yourself."

She may have imagined it but she thought she saw him flinch. "I'm not okay with letting a  _ rapist  _ -"

_ "Shhh!"  _ she hushed him, alarmed that Madam Pomfrey would overhear. "I'm asking for something so simple -"

"He did it to get revenge on me, didn't he?"

Elara looked away.

"Yes or no, Elara?" His voice had dropped an octave lower and it shouldn't have but it sent shivers down her spine.

She hesitated again. "I don't know -"

His hand shot out and closed around her wrist, tugging her to him, just as the other one moved to pull the curtain closed, sealing them from Madam Pomfrey's gaze - even though she hadn't even been looking.

Elara stifled a cry as he pulled her flush against him, his silver eyes shining like a cat's as they caught the moonlight filtering in through the window beside them.

Moonlight had looked good on him that night by the Great Lake; now, it made him look deadly.

"Do not lie to me, Elara," he hissed, so close she felt his breath on her face. "Do _not_ lie to me because you want to spare me. I do not want your _pity_. It's useless to me."

She wanted to feel angry and offended, wanted to remove herself from his grip but it had been such a long, terrible forty-eight hours.

More like a long, terrible two months.

"Elara, honey?" Pomfrey's voice floated in. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Elara said without hesitation, her eyes still fixed on Draco's face. He didn't let go of her, their chests still brushing against each other's. "Everything is fine."

She waited until Madam Pomfrey's footsteps receded before speaking. "Does it even matter?"

He seemed surprised at her composed tone and his grip loosened on her wrist.

"Yes or no?" he said, quietly.

She averted her gaze. "Yes."

She knew he'd already known that but his shoulders still dropped, rage flickering on his face for a second before he masked it.

"I'll tell them," Elara said, softly. "I'll tell them eventually and he'll face the consequences. But I do not want you getting expelled for doing something violent." She slid her wrist out of his grip and looked up at him, imploringly, as she stepped back from him. "Please, Draco. It's the only thing I ask of you."

Draco observed her, silently.

"You have to go," she told him, gently, sitting back on the edge of the bed. She was already tired out. When would things start looking up for her? She was starting to think they never would.

Draco's eyes rested on her for a heartbeat longer before he turned, yanking open the curtain. "Fine. But I make no promises."

He vanished before she could respond.

|

Elara insisted on being discharged from the infirmary the next day. She absolutely could  _ not  _ miss any more classes.

Despite Freya's insistence on her resting in the common room, Elara attended all of her lessons.

Even Potions where Fletcher and Draco were paired up.

Fletcher didn't dare raise his eyes from the cauldron in front of him while Draco did everything he could to make his partner's life hell. He'd mess up the simplest of instructions, add the wrong ingredients and blame it on Fletcher or shove into him so hard the smaller boy stumbled.

Elara watched in amusement but it quickly dulled when her eyes fell on Fletcher's nose. It was bruised and an ugly purple - she guessed he hadn't fixed it yet.

It made him so much uglier and Elara had thought he couldn't get more disgusting than when he'd been leering at her, his hand -

She forced the thought away and handed Cho the fairy wings.

As they filtered out of the class, Elara broke away from her friends to catch up to Draco who was walking alongside Theodore Nott.

"Excuse me," she muttered, twisting her shoulders to pass them, brushing Draco's hand in the process. It was easy to press the note into his hand before she took off.

_ Seven. AT. _

It was all she had written but she knew he'd understand.

Elara studied with Stuart until six thirty, catching up on the material she'd missed while in the infirmary.

"You really should be resting," her best friend said for the thirty-first time that hour. He was examining her with concerned eyes.

Elara groaned, grabbing his jaw and turning his head back to face the History of Magic textbook. "I'm fine. Shut up and explain."

By the time she reached the Astronomy Tower, she was almost too tired to climb the stairs.

"What do you want?" Draco said by way of greeting. He was watching her as she took the last step off the staircase.

"You need to teach me hand to hand combat."

Draco stared at her and then scoffed. "What use is hand to hand combat when you have a wand?"

She returned his gaze, steadily. "My wand didn't help me at all against Fletcher." She watched his eyes dim. "Albeit, it's not the wand's fault but still. Someone could always Expelliarmus me in battle."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "And what makes you think I'm any good at hand to hand combat?"

She wanted to say she'd seen the way he moved and seen, as well as felt, the muscles in his body first hand. He was too toned to not be doing  _ some  _ physical activity apart from lifting his wand.

"You're a Malfoy," she said instead. "I'm sure you know how to dance as well as you duel. Jack of all trades."

"Master of none?" he said with a quirk of his lips. She raised her eyebrows.

"I didn't expect you to know the Muggle phrase."

He lifted a shoulder. "Jack of all trades."

"Master of some," she added later after he'd worn her out to the point she felt she could collapse there and then and sleep for years.

He had barely broken a sweat and watched as she dragged herself to her feet from where he'd sent her sprawling. "Less talking, more energy."

She shot him a glare.

|

"I heard about your little episode, Miss Jacobs."

Elara stopped in her tracks, turning slowly to face Professor Snape. She had just finished giving him the weekly scoop on Draco - nothing unusual.

"It was nothing," she replied, lightly. "Just stress."

"Over your lessons? Or Malfoy?"

Elara stiffened. "My lessons. There's hardly any stress regarding Draco. He doesn't even  _ do  _ anything suspicious."

"Except lie to you about taking Apparition," Snape responded, pursing his lips.

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for that," she defended. "He has no reason to lie -"

"Why do you think he was studying Anti-Apparition wards, Miss Jacobs?"

Elara stopped. "I... I don't know? Maybe he was just interested -"

"If he was  _ just interested,  _ why would he lie to you about it?"

"It could be for any other class, maybe not Apparition -"

"Then,  _ why lie about it _ ?"

Elara fell into deep thought. He was right.

"What do  _ you  _ think he was doing?" she inquired, quietly.

Snape examined her, his hawk eyes seeming to peer straight into her soul. "What place do you know of that has Anti-Apparition wards that Mr. Malfoy might try to break?"

Elara stared at him, confused, and her eyebrows furrowed. "I highly doubt Malfoy Manor -"

Snape exhaled through his teeth. "Really, Miss Jacobs, aren't you a Ravenclaw?"

She bristled. "It would help if you stopped beating around the bush -" Suddenly, she froze.

But it didn't make sense. Why would Draco want to -

"Ah," Snape sat back in his chair. "She finally sees."

"He wouldn't," she protested. "Why would he?"

Snape's gaze bore into her. "It's your job to find out."

She laughed, humourlessly. "You think Draco is going to divulge why he's trying to break through Hogwarts' wards? To  _ me? _ "

"Why was Malfoy the one to take you to the infirmary?"

Caught off-guard by the question, Elara hesitated. "He was the one who found me having a panic attack."

"Why?"

"He had detention -"

"No.  _ Why  _ did he help you? He cares about nobody but himself. He could've easily left you to have your panic attack on your own - it was unlikely you would have died."

Elara stared at her teacher. "He couldn't  _ not  _ help me."

"That's where you're wrong. He's Draco Malfoy. All his behaviour throughout the past six years has been  _ not  _ helping people, unless it helps himself." Snape narrowed his eyes. "But with  _ you,  _ he doesn't hesitate. He took you up when you asked him for help with Defence Against the Dark Arts, helps you get out of detention and doesn't think twice in helping you get to the infirmary. This doesn't strike you as odd?"

"He's just a boy." Her voice was so soft she wasn't even sure Snape heard her. "There doesn't need to be an ulterior motive behind everything he does."

Snape huffed in exasperation. "You are unaware -"

"Of how dangerous he really is," Elara finished. "Then why don't you explain to me?"

"It's no business of yours."

"You have me  _ stalking  _ him -"

Snape stood up, abruptly, and leaned over the desk. "Find out why he wants to break Hogwarts' wards, Jacobs."

"Maybe he just wants to get out of this damned school -"

"Then  _ where does he want to go _ ?" Snape hissed. "Lives are on the line, Miss Jacobs. Do not fail us."

Elara felt the unshakeable feeling of doom settle on her shoulders.

  
  



	13. thirteen

DECEMBER HAD ARRIVED.

And with it, came the first snow of the year, blanketing Hogwarts' grounds in a sheet of white.

But while her friends were all outside, messing around with the snow, Elara was following Ron Weasley down the dreary hallways, wistfully staring out the windows at the soft snow falling.

"It won't take long." Ron noticed her gaze. "We just have to do it in a place where we're sure no one can overhear us."

Elara pushed her way through a group of fifth years going in the opposite direction, all eager to be out in the snow on Saturday morning. "I understand, don't worry. I told you I wanted to meet."

"We heard about the little... thing that happened with Buckbeak. He's a scary thing but he's actually really sweet -"

"It wasn't Buckbeak," Elara interrupted, quickly. "I love him. It just happened. Nothing really triggered it."

She shoved thoughts of Fletcher to the back of her mind.

"Oh." Ron looked embarrassed as they turned into an empty corridor. Elara recognised it as the one she'd followed Draco into before he disappeared and Filch caught her. "Well, I'm sorry. I hope you're feeling better."

"Thanks, Ron." She shot him a smile and he ducked his head, one playing at his own lips. "Where are we going?"

"Oh. We're here." He halted suddenly.

Elara frowned, staring up at the wall in front of them. It was a plain wall - no portrait, no secret door, no alcove. "We are?"

"Give me a second." He began to walk up and down in front of the wall, once, twice, thrice, his face focused.

Elara stared at him, about to demand what the hell he was doing, but then something shimmered in front of them and a large door appeared in the wall.

Ron looked relieved. "Come on."

Elara couldn't believe she hadn't known this room existed - she'd walked by this place at least a million times.

She trailed behind Ron, stepping in behind him and finding herself in a large room with a high-vaulted ceiling.

In front of her, standing in a row, were Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Cho Chang.

"Cho?" Elara spluttered as Ron shut the door behind them. "What are you doing here?"

Cho gave her a small smile. "Hey, El."

"Elara."

Elara turned her eyes onto Harry. She knew him, of course, but they had never really talked throughout the years. He'd been a bit too busy carrying the Wizarding World on his shoulders, she imagined.

"Harry," she said, slowly. "What's going on?"

"I asked you if you wanted to join the DA -" Ron started from beside her.

"Dumbledore's Army," she said, puzzled.

"Yes. Well, this is it."

Elara looked between the four of them for a few moments. "You're kidding, right?"

Hermione made a sound of exasperation. "I  _ told  _ you she wouldn't listen -"

"You haven't  _ explained  _ anything to me yet!" Elara protested, glaring.

"She's right," Harry nodded. "I know this is a bit of a shock, Elara. We formed the DA last year when - when Umbridge was here."

Elara crinkled her nose at the spiteful teacher's name.

"We originally formed it because she wouldn't teach us anything but theory and we thought - we thought we needed actual practice for us to learn enough to... to fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters."

It began to dawn on Elara.

"There's a lot more people than this," Harry rushed to add. "But we thought it best if we kept it small to introduce you to everything."

"We basically learn and practice spells," Cho put in. "Charms, hexes, healing spells... Anything we might need in battle."

"You're... You're expecting a battle?" Elara's voice didn't sound like her own.

Harry hesitated for only a second. "Yes. Well, either I die or Voldemort does. So I kind of wanted to be prepared. And there's no guarantee that Hogwarts won't be attacked as well."

"They couldn't -" Elara started, shocked.

"We  _ hope  _ they can't," Hermione cut her off. "But we still need to be prepared."

"Better safe than sorry," Ron added, gently.

Elara turned their words over in her mind. "You're asking me to join the DA?"

"Yes." Harry nodded. "Cho told us - she told us you were really good at all your classes -"

"Ironically, Defence Against the Dark Arts is my worst subject," Elara replied, dryly.

"You're doing so well," Cho said, indignantly. "Your aim and defense is better than most people in our class. Except maybe Draco."

Draco had been teaching her. Elara felt a pang in her chest at the thought of him.

"We're asking you to join," Ron said. "If there really is a battle soon - like Harry expects -"

"You don't have to," Harry interrupted, quietly. His eyes were thoughtful. "I would never force anybody."

"If you don't, we'll just Obliviate you," Hermione put in.

"Obliviate me?"

Harry looked embarrassed. "Yes. We can't risk anyone else finding out about the DA - not that you'd tell but -"

"But Umbridge is gone," she said, bluntly. "Why hide it? I hardly think McGonagall is going to have a problem with this."

"It's safer this way," Hermione responded. "We can only have people  _ actually  _ loyal to Harry joining. If everyone knew about it, chances of it reaching someone with bad intentions -"

"Like Malfoy." Ron said his name with such hate, Elara glanced over at him.

"Yes. Like Malfoy. We just can't risk it." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

"We wanted to ask you last year," Cho hurriedly put in, sensing Hermione's impatience. "But..."

Elara looked at them, expectantly. "But what?"

"Er..." Cho seemed to regret saying anything. "It's just..." She glanced at Harry who looked as flustered as her. "Fletcher was spreading a rumour and we - we couldn't be sure if it was true or not."

"What rumour?" Elara pressed, impatient.

"He just - He was saying stuff about you and Malfoy," Ron mumbled, staring at his feet. "About you and him - being together."

Elara's stomach turned.

"So we didn't want to risk asking you because we didn't know where your loyalties lay," Hermione finished, bluntly. "But Harry seems to think you can be trusted."

Harry nodded. "I do. Ron's told me enough and so have Fred and George."

Elara fell silent for a minute. "Fletcher..." She cleared her throat. "Fletcher is part of the DA?"

"Oh, god, no." Ron looked horrified. "He's great at DADA but we can't trust him."

Something in Elara eased.

She looked back at the four faces staring at her. Harry's tired eyes, Hermione's annoyed ones, Ron with his hopeful expression and Cho pleading.

Did she want to commit to this?

Why wouldn't she? It was an opportunity to improve her skills even more than she was with Draco.

Draco... He couldn't know. No one could.

"What about my friends?" she asked, quietly. "Indigo, Stuart, Tracy."

"Do you think they're..." Harry let his voice trail off.

"They're the most trustworthy people I know."

"Stuart..." Cho hesitated. "Stuart is already part of the DA."

Elara's throat closed. "He... What?"

"He joined last year," Harry answered, almost apologetically. "He wanted to tell you but we forced him not to."

Stupidly, Elara didn't feel betrayed. She just felt dumb. How had she not noticed her best friend sneaking off here?

"I... Right," she said, dazed. "Right."

"So..." Ron put his hand on her shoulder. "Do you... accept?"

Elara saw Hermione's hand go to her wand, ready to Obliviate her before she could get away if she refused.

She wondered if Draco would be angry if he found out.

_ Why in the world was she thinking of Draco? _

Now was not the time.

"I accept," she said, quiet but firm.

A grin broke out over Ron's face and Cho came flying at her to envelope her in a hug.

Hermione gave her a sharp nod.

Harry stepped forward, holding his hand out. "Welcome to Dumbledore's Army, Elara."

|

"Mr. Banks, if you don't stop talking right this instant, I  _ will  _ give you detention!"

Stuart's mouth snapped shut as he bent his head under Slughorn's scolding. The professor was in a foul mood this morning and had snapped at three students already.

"Gosh," murmured Tracy under her breath. "Who stuck a wand up his arse?"

Elara elbowed her, sharply, as Slughorn turned to face their cauldron.

She'd barely been able to pay attention the entire class - Draco hadn't shown up to Potions and it had made her uneasy. He had never not been in Potions - it was the easiest subject for him.

"Your potion should be a lot lighter than that, Miss Jacobs," Slughorn said, disapprovingly, and she nodded, her mind still far away, wondering where the boy with light hair and icy eyes was.

Elara glanced over at Draco's empty seat and caught Fletcher's eye. She had expected him to look smug without Draco's presence but instead, his head was ducked, his eyes trained on the book in front of him, his cauldron barely bubbling.

Elara frowned. Something wasn't sitting right with her.

Just then, there was a sharp rap on the classroom door and the class looked up as Professor Slughorn crossed the room with an irritated expression on his face.

He yanked open the door to reveal Professor Snape, standing with this hands clasped behind his back.

"Severus -?"

Elara's heart thudded in her chest.

"I need Miss Jacobs," Snape said, quietly. "Now."

Elara's skin crawled.  _ Draco. _

It was too much of a coincidence. Something had happened to him.

Elara felt a wave of dread wash over her and her stomach flipped.

She was on her feet in a second, almost running after Snape as he turned.

"Is he okay?" It was the first thing out of her mouth as they emerged into the hallway.

Snape's mouth was set in a straight line and he didn't respond.

Elara felt like she was going to be sick. "Professor, is he -"

As soon as they had turned the corner, he whirled on her, seething. "What happened that day?"

She shrank back. "What -"

"The day you had that episode of yours," Snape spat out. "What  _ really  _ happened?" He glared down at her. "I don't appreciate being lied to, Miss Jacobs. I should deduct two hundred points from Ravenclaw."

Elara gaped at him. "Professor -"

"Malfoy has been expelled," Snape said through gritted teeth, his eyes flashing. "I told you to keep an eye on him and you got him  _ expelled _ ."

Elara's stomach dropped. "I -  _ what?  _ He's been  _ expelled?  _ For what?" But even as she asked, she realised she already knew the answer.

There had been no signs of bruises on Fletcher's face today, despite there having been yesterday during History of Magic. He had also been using his right hand - which he hadn't been able to do the day before either.

Elara put two and two together, quickly. He was healed - he'd gone to the infirmary. Pomfrey would've asked what happened. He would've talked.

"Yes," Snape ground out, seeing the realisation dawn on her face. "Draco Malfoy happened to attack Fletcher Smith, unprovoked, on exactly the same day as you had your little  _ episode.  _ And brought you to the infirmary minutes after that. Are you going to tell me that's a coincidence? "

Elara blinked. "Fletcher said it was unprovoked?"

"Mr. Smith barely said a word, only managed to tell us it was Malfoy who had done it. He arrived at the infirmary last night with the bones in his right hand splintered and his nose fractured, as well as a limp, a black eye, and  _ several  _ broken ribs, as well as a  _ Silencio  _ charm which prevented him from eating, drinking or talking. Upon interrogation and the removal of the charm, he reluctantly admitted that Malfoy had attacked him and he'd been too scared to come to the infirmary lest Malfoy find out and come after him."

Elara silently swore at Fletcher.

"The child was scared out of his mind at the thought of Malfoy finding out he tattled," Snape went on."However, McGonagall and the Headmaster decided that Mr. Malfoy would face the consequences, first thing in the morning."

Elara's palms were damp. "And what did Draco -"

"He accepted it. Didn't so much as  _ blink  _ when he was told he would be expelled for attacking Fletcher without any reason."

Elara felt like she'd been Petrified as she stood there in shock. "He - He didn't explain why he did it?"

"Didn't say a word."

Elara's knees nearly gave out. He hadn't told them. He hadn't told them what Fletcher had done to her, despite being expelled.

She pressed her hand over her heart, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat. "Is...Is he gone?"

"He's in McGonagall's office," Snape sneered. "But I'm not letting you go  _ anywhere  _ until you explain exactly what happened that day, Jacobs -"

Elara cut him off. "I need to see McGonagall." Upon seeing his furious gaze, she rushed to continue. "I'll tell you everything but I need to see Professor McGonagall  _ now  _ if I want to save Draco from expulsion."

Snape eyed her, warily, as she backed away from him. If he could have killed her, she knew he would've.

"If you let Malfoy get expelled, Jacobs," he said in a low tone, "I will make sure you follow in his footsteps."

Elara turned and fled, making her way towards McGonagall's office.

She'd have to save Draco Malfoy.

  
  



	14. fourteen

MCGONAGALL WOULD KILL HER.

It was the first coherent thought in Elara's head since Snape had told her about Draco's expulsion.

She had been trembling with rage the whole walk to the Transfiguration Professor's office and barely managed to contain herself.

Despite their extreme efforts to keep out of each other's lives, Draco and Elara seemed to be undeniably intertwined. It was driving her mad.

She burst through the door, the sentence already halfway past her lips. "Professor, you can't expel him."

She stopped short, her chest still heaving, taking in the sight of Draco standing in front of McGonagall, his hands in his pockets, his expression blank.

McGonagall, on the other hand, looked ready to hex him into oblivion, her sharp eyes deadly enough to make the most daring student wither.

Those eyes now turned to Elara and surprise flickered in them. "What is the meaning of this intrusion, Jacobs?"

Elara's cheeks flushed despite herself. McGonagall was one of her favourite professors and she hated to be berated by her. "Professor, he didn't do anything wrong -"

McGonagall stared at her and then at Draco. "How in Merlin are you connected to all this?"

Elara took another breath. "He - He didn't tell you because I told him not to -"

"Jacobs." Draco's voice was low. "Don't."

"Shut  _ up,  _ Draco," she hissed back, glaring at him. "I'm speaking to Professor McGonagall, not your sorry arse -"

"Language, Miss Jacobs!"

"Sorry, Professor," Elara said, breathlessly. She felt faintly like throwing up but she pushed on. "Draco didn't attack Fletcher unprovoked. He was saving me."

There. It was out. Now there was only -

" _ Saving  _ you?" McGonagall demanded, incredulously. She pressed a bony hand over her heart, as if praying she wouldn't have a heart attack. "From what, Miss Jacobs?"

"From -" Her voice caught in her throat and she cleared it. "From -"

"Jacobs," Draco warned, his eyes fixed on her.

She shot him a furious look and forced herself to speak, ignoring the crack in her voice as she did. "Fletcher... Fletcher was going to -"  _ Just say it, Elara. _

No. She couldn't. Her chest constricted at the thought and she desperately hoped she wouldn't have a panic attack.

She had to leave. She couldn't do this.

It was too soon. She hadn't even been able to come to terms with it herself yet. How was she supposed to tell anybody else?

The tightness in her chest grew and she gasped for breath.

Draco made a move towards her and she caught his eye.

There was a flicker of something in his eyes - realisation mixed with something else.

He had such beautiful eyes - her favourite colour with such an intensity she always fought the urge to cower.

But those same eyes had helped her get through her panic attack before. He'd helped her - whether he chose to admit it to himself or not. He had. And that was not very  _ Draco Malfoy _ of him. It had probably been difficult for him too. But he'd done it anyway.

So she had to do the same.

Elara forced herself to take another deep breath.

She was safe. She was okay. She had to do this.

"Fletcher was going to rape me."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt the back of her eyes sting. She forced the tears back. She was safe.

"He was going to rape me and he had Petrified me," Elara went on, her voice growing stronger with every word. "I couldn't move. Draco stopped him and -" She gestured with her hands. "And whatever played out after that was understandable. It wasn't unprovoked."

McGonagall looked like someone had Stupefied her. "And - And what was Mr. Malfoy doing down there?"

"As I'm sure you remember, Professor," Draco said, his voice edged, "you had given me detention."

McGonagall's eyes widened, slightly, as realisation dawned on her.

"He heard Buckbeak screeching and came," Elara breathed as the knot in her chest eased. "He also helped me - helped me get to the infirmary. He wanted me to tell someone immediately but I... I couldn't."

McGonagall stayed so still for a few moments, she could've been a statue.

Elara glanced at Draco who was making a point not to look at her, instead gazing out the window, his mouth a straight line.

"Miss Jacobs," the Professor said finally. "I am so deeply sorry that that happened to you. I assure you, Smith will be appropriately punished and expelled."

"No," Elara said, quickly. "Professor, I don't - I don't want anyone else to know. And Fletcher... I've seen him. Draco - Draco punished him enough. I don't need any thing more."

She bowed her head. "I know he doesn't deserve to be forgiven but I don't want him expelled, Professor. You can give him detention every day for the rest of the year but - but don't expel him."

Draco's hand tightened into a fist before he quickly released it.

"And if -" Elara glared at the tall boy standing in the corner of the room. "If Draco does anything else again, I will  _ help _ him pack his trunk."

Draco rolled his eyes, not amused.

"Miss Jacobs, it's absolutely preposterous for you to ask us not to expel Smith!"

"I am the victim, Professor," Elara countered, quietly. "This is the only time I will ask something like this of you."

McGonagall's mouth opened and then closed and then opened again. Her eyes darted between Draco and Elara before finally heaved a sigh. "I thought I had enough to take care of with Potter, Weasley and Granger." She pressed a hand to her forehead. "But it seems I must also look out for you two."

Draco's jaw clenched.

"Very well, Miss Jacobs," the professor said, reluctantly. "I will punish Fletcher but I will not expel him. And no one else will know. You can rest assured of that."

Relieved, Elara thanked her.

"Mr. Malfoy, I apologise for rushing to expel you. You may be excused from this week's Transfiguration classes if you wish. But please. Refrain from beating Mr. Smith black and blue from now on." She turned away, muttering under her breath, "Although Merlin knows I want to too."

Elara barely concealed a smile.

|

"What in the world happened?"

Indigo's dark hair caught the light as they made their way towards Charms.

"He needed to talk to me about DADA," Elara lied, easily. She'd come up with the story on her way back to class. "Said my parents had written to him to inquire about my progress and they had told him about how I called him an absolute git and trash teacher. He was fuming, really."

Stuart stared at her. "Why in Merlin would your parents tell Snape you bad-mouthed him?"

Elara shrugged. "They probably thought he'd take it as  _ constructive criticism _ ."

Tracy stifled a giggle. "Just your luck, huh, El?"

Elara returned the smile but it didn't reach her eyes. She was a terrible friend.

She couldn't wait to be free of this blasted duty she'd been forced into. Then she'd let loose on Snape  _ and  _ Draco.

She hadn't been able to talk to Draco after the conversation with McGonagall. They'd exited the office just as lessons were ending and the corridors had been flooded with students.

She'd met his eyes one last time before he'd turned and strode away without so much as a look backwards.

She tried to tame the anger still simmering inside her - it wouldn't help if her friends caught on that something was wrong.

"Hey, after Charms, do you guys want to go take a walk by the lake?" Stuart ventured as they stepped aside to let Nearly Headless Nick pass.

With a jolt, Elara realised what Cho had told her. Stuart was also part of Dumbledore's Army - she wondered if he knew she had joined now too. She wanted to ask him but Indigo and Tracy...

One more secret to add to her rapidly growing pile, it seemed.

"Sure," Elara said. She could spare half an hour before she had to go meet Draco at the Astronomy Tower.

"You don't have to study?" Tracy asked, surprised.

Elara's cheeks turned pink. "Well - I do but I can spare half an hour."

"I'm glad you could make time in your schedule." The sarcasm in Indigo's voice wasn't lost on Elara. She didn't reply.

|

Elara stormed up the stairs, her heart hammering in her chest.

She knew he'd be there already - he always was - and she wasn't going to hold anything back. Not today.

"What the  _ fuck  _ were you thinking?"

She advanced on him where he stood, his elbows on the railing, leaning on it. "Everytime I think you can't get more  _ insufferable -" _

"Me?" He whirled on her and Elara was shocked to see the pure rage on  _ his  _ face. What in the world could he be mad at  _ her  _ for? "Everytime  _ I  _ think you can't get any more  _ stupid  _ -"

" _ Stupid?"  _ Elara exclaimed, the wind blowing her hair into her face. She shoved it away, roughly. " _ That's  _ what you call saving your sorry arse?"

Draco's eyes flashed. The dying sun cast a glow on him that made him look sharper. "I never asked you to -"

" _ Asked  _ me?" Elara laughed, humourlessly. "I did it out of - "

"You didn't even let them  _ expel  _ him!" Draco shot back through gritted teeth. "Aren't you a Ravenclaw? Yeah? Then tell me why the  _ fuck  _ you decided to act like a goddamn  _ Gryffindor  _ and be  _ oh-so-honourable  _ like a fucking idiot?"

Elara's nails dug into her palms. "I'm sorry but I don't remember since when  _ you  _ get a say in what  _ I  _ decide as the punishment for someone who assaulted  _ me _ !"

"Since he did it to get revenge on me!" Draco snarled, taking a step closer. "Since he decided that he would go to the extreme of  _ raping  _ you -"

"You beat him up in Potions!"

Draco stopped short. "Are you - Are you  _ defending  _ him?"

Elara stared. "What? No! I'm just saying that you're the one who started this fucking war with him!"

"You were going to let him fuck you to get a grade!"

"What I do is none of your goddamn -"

"You sure you're a Ravenclaw? First, that  _ 'noble'  _ shit you pull with McGonagall and now you obviously lack any kind of brains since you're fucking  _ defendin _ g -"

"I already told you! I am _not_ defending him!" Elara exploded. "I _told_ you not to fucking touch Fletcher! And what did you do? The complete fucking opposite! And look what you made me do!"

" _ Made you do?"  _ Draco spat, his face a scowl. "I was handling it just fine until you decided to barge in and -"

"You were getting  _ expelled _ !"

"I was happy to be out of this pathetic excuse of a school!"

"That's a lie and you know it!" Elara retaliated, furiously.

"I'm a fucking Malfoy, Jacobs! I would've found a way to get out of it! I didn't need your pitiful blithering -"

"I was  _ not - _ "

"To come and save me. As if I needed you."

"You forced my hand, Draco," she bit out, her face hot. "The whole reason why I told you to keep away from Fletcher is so that something like  _ this  _ wouldn't happen! I wasn't ready to tell anybody!"

"Then you  _ shouldn't  _ have!" he retorted, sharply.

Elara was seething. "Don't," she took a step closer, "you dare try to turn this on me, Draco.  _ You  _ fucked up.  _ You  _ didn't listen to my wishes even though  _ I  _ am the fucking victim and  _ I  _ get to decide what happens with Fletcher. I don't need you watching over me like a fucking bodyguard!"

Draco's eyes flashed. " _ That's  _ why you think I did this? You think I did this  _ for you?" _

Elara faltered and he laughed, coldly. "You think I fucking  _ care  _ about you, Jacobs?"

_ Yes. Yes, I do. Snape said you did. Why else would you act the way you did? _

"Fletcher did what he did for  _ revenge _ ," Draco ground out. "All I did was make it even."

Elara's chest tightened. "You made it even when you shattered the bones in his hand and nose!" She glared at him, murderously. "And what, I become a pawn in this stupid testosterone-fueled game of revenge between the two of you -"

Draco hissed. "Don't fucking -"

"I saved you from bloody expulsion -"

"Don't  _ fucking  _ act like I owe you something, Jacobs." His voice was raw and she detected emotion behind it.

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment before saying, " _ Owe  _ me?" As she said it, it dawned on her. "You think I'm going to hold this over your head for the next two years?"

Draco's eyes darkened. That  _ is  _ what he'd thought. He thought she'd use it against him. And Draco Malfoy  _ hated  _ not having the upper hand.

He'd been born into having the upper hand and he wanted to keep it that way.

"You are unbelievable." Elara finally lowered her voice. "Your ego will be the death of you one day, Draco."

He stiffened; she knew she'd hit a nerve. "And what about you? What about your  _ suffocating  _ ego?"

Elara shook her head. "My ego isn't nearly as big as yours, Draco. I can admit when I did something because I  _ cared _ ."

For a split second, he looked like he'd been struck. When he spoke, his tone was dark. "That's why you stopped me from being expelled? Because you - cared?"

Elara could see the rage still simmering in his eyes but she could also see behind it - the disbelief that anyone could do anything for him, not for their own gain.

_ You stupid prat. You'll never let me in. Snape is delusional if he thinks you will. _

"I just made it even," she repeated his words back to them but they were half-hearted. The fight had gone out of her and she could see it reflected in him. He was tired too.

Elara rubbed a hand across her eyes and moved to stand by the railing. "When did you get to Fletcher the second time?"

Draco looked away, jaw tight. "Yesterday evening." He joined her at the railing, pushing up the sleeves of his white shirt and leaning over it, his forearms resting on it once more. It was such a casual movement Elara's stomach flipped. "How did you even know about that? When Fletcher tattled, he only told them about the time by Hagrid's hut."

Elara looked out over Hogwarts' grounds, down at the spot Draco was talking about. "Snape said he walked into the infirmary with a limp and a black eye, as well as a Silencio charm. You never gave him any of that when you found us."

The very corner of Draco's lips turned upwards. "You really are a Ravenclaw."

"And you're a pure Slytherin," she responded, closing her eyes as the breeze caressed her cheek. She was vaguely aware of his shoulder brushing hers, so lightly it could've not been there at all. "You'd do anything to extract your own gain out of something." She opened her eyes again, found him looking at her with sharp silver eyes. "More than any other Slytherin I know."

Draco's mouth fixed into a taut line. He fell silent and she turned away to look at the view in front of them again.

He was quiet for so long she thought he'd never reply. But when he did, he was so quiet she had to strain to hear him."It also comes with being a Malfoy."

She glanced at him and he gave her a small smile that lacked warmth. "It's the worst combination - a Malfoy and a Slytherin."

"Haven't all your family been Slytherins?" she asked, softly.

Draco chuckled without humour. "Exactly."

  
  



	15. fifteen

"IT'S ALMOST PAST CURFEW."

Elara was pulled out of her thoughts by Draco's low voice. "We haven't trained at all today."

He glanced at her, sideways. The moon was high up now and cast a soft glow on his skin. Elara desperately wanted to touch him.

Being this close to him late at night, coupled with the exhaustion from their fight and the past few months, was not a good combination. She was too tired to resist what she felt around him and she was terrified it'd drag them into a hole they couldn't get out of.

"I think it's best we don't train today," Draco said, sounding tired out himself. When she looked at him more closely, she noticed the dark circles ringing his eyes. Had he always had those?

She couldn't remember.

"You should go back," he went on, not looking at her. His eyes stayed focused on the the view of the grounds. "You don't want to get another detention for staying out past curfew." He gave her a wry smile. "I won't pull you out of it this time."

"I never thanked you for that," Elara said, quietly, as the gentle breeze lifted strands of her wild hair. She tucked them behind her ears. "It was..." She trailed off, trying to get the words out. "It was one of the best nights I've had in a while."

Her eye caught the movement of Draco's hand tightening over the railing, his rings glittering in the moonlight. His hands were  _ so  _ gorgeous - long fingers, veins down the back, pretty rings. Just looking at them made her stomach somersault.

Once she was sure he wasn't going to reply to her remark, she inquired, "Will you be going back for the holidays?"

She hated that she wanted him to say no for no reason she could place.

He tapped his slender fingers against the railing. "No. Will you?"

She had a vague feeling he wanted her to say no too - it was in the way his eyes flicked to her momentarily and then away.

"I don't know," she answered, softly, watching a bird spread its wings and dip in the wind. "I don't want to but - I don't know if my parents will let me stay at Hogwarts if my sister is going back."

"Your sister, " grumbled Draco, "took fifty points from Slytherin a few days back."

Elara stifled a smile. "What for?"

"We were out past curfew ironically."

"Who?" The thought of Freya glowering at Draco, who had to be at least a foot taller than her, as well as Zabini and Nott, scolding them for being out late, was enough to make her giggle.

"Pansy," Draco said, curtly, and Elara sobered up, almost immediately.

"Oh." She turned back to gaze at the Forbidden Forest, trying to soothe the pang in her chest. It was none of her damn business. She shouldn't be feeling jealous that Draco had found a new fuck buddy - it was bound to happen. He was just that attractive.

"We didn't -"

Elara's eyes snapped back to him as he spoke.

"We didn't - do anything," he muttered, studying his fingers on the railing. "We were just - looking for something... together."

Elara snorted, although some of the sting eased. "Yeah. A climax."

Draco stared at her for a long moment and she stared back, unable to keep a straight face before she burst out into laughter at her own joke.

Draco rolled his eyes but his expression was amused. "Very funny. Really witty."

Elara took a few more moments to calm down. "Oh, come  _ on _ ! That was so good."

"Did I ever tell you Ravenclaw is my least favourite house?"

"Must be our charm," Elara retorted, cheekily.

They fell into an easy silence, looking out over the wide expanse of Hogwarts in front of them.

After a long while, Draco spoke.

"Why don't you want to go back home?" he asked, quietly.

She kept quiet for a minute longer before responding. "As long as I can remember, my parents have been involved in every single aspect of my life." Her shoulders shook with a deep sigh. "And although I realise how privileged I am to have them... it gets exhausting, trying to live up to their expectations."

"I'd expect your elder sister to have more of the pressure on her," Draco said after a moment. He rubbed his hand over his jaw, suddenly looking twice as exhausted.

"Freya has always been good at doing whatever our parents say," Elara answered, eyeing him with concern. "Draco, are you okay? You look exhausted."

Her words seemed to snap something within him and she could see the mask slip on over his face. "I'm fine. Long day."

_ What are you hiding, Malfoy? _

"You should rest," she murmured, gently turning his face so she could see him better. His skin was so pale, the dark rings below his eyes standing out in the moonlight.

He jerked his head away from her touch. "I said I'm  _ fine _ ."

The sneer was back on his face - but she could see how half-hearted it was. She didn't want to fight either.

So she talked instead.

"Freya and Isaac are the pride and joy of the family," Elara stated. "My younger sister and I fell a bit short of the requirements."

Sighing, she conjured a shawl and draped it around her shoulders, protecting her from the cold wind. The temperature had dropped a few degrees since they'd been going at each other's throats.

"I didn't even know you had a younger sister," Draco responded, linking his fingers together as his hands dangled over the railing.

She side-eyed him. "You remember Isaac?"

He scoffed, lightly. "Of course I remember Isaac. He used to be the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team when I was in my first year."

Elara smiled at the mention. Her elder brother had been her hero growing up.

"And as far as I remember," Draco finally turned to face Elara, leaning his elbow on the railing, "he was far less tolerant than you. I'm pretty sure he formed a Gryffindor hate club."

Elara pressed her hand over her mouth to suppress her laughter, still leaning on the railing. If she turned to face him, they'd be too close.

"That  _ is  _ true," she smiled. "But then he went through a Romeo and Juliet phase and fell in love with a Gryffindor." Catching herself, she moved to explain. "Romeo and Juliet was a story -"

Draco scoffed. "I know Romeo and Juliet, Jacobs. I did take Muggle Studies."

"Right," she replied. "My dad's a professor at a Muggle university. He never stops talking about Muggles - it's why I know so much about them."

"Your father teaches in the Muggle world?"

Elara nodded. "He was always interested in it since both his parents were Muggles."

The words had barely left her mouth before Draco stiffened.

She knew why but she'd said it anyway. On purpose even.

Elara slid her eyes to him, finding his eyes stormy and his jaw locked. "What's wrong?"

She prodded on purpose - she wanted him to hear himself say it and realise how ridiculous it was.

"Your dad's a -"

"No rude words, please," she said, pleasantly. "Yes, my father was born to two Muggle parents. Is that a problem?"

Draco searched her face, as if trying to figure out why she was so calm.

She raised her eyebrows, expectantly, signalling that she was waiting for an answer.

"I'm a Malfoy," he said, shortly.

"I'm aware. That doesn't answer my question."

He stared at her. "I'm a pureblood -"

"Still doesn't answer my question," she cut him off, swiftly, once more. She steeled herself and finally turned towards him.

They were face to face now - so close she could see the kaleidoscope of different shades of grey and blue in his eyes.

"Would you refuse to take me right here, right now, if I asked - just because I'm not a  _ pureblood,  _ Draco?"

His eyes darkened and out of the corner of his eye, she saw his hand tighten over the railing beside them.

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I asked you a question," she purred, tilting her head to the side, not breaking eye contact. She didn't touch him - wanted him to make the first move so he could see how bloody  _ stupid  _ he was for thinking that his last name and blood status were excuses to act like an absolute prat.

His eyes flicked down to her mouth.

Her heartbeat picked up as her own gaze dropped to his lips.

The breeze ruffled their hair, the moonlight illuminating both their faces as they looked at each other, the silence hanging between them like a thread ready to be severed.

She looked back up at his eyes and found them fixed on hers once more. She saw his hand clench into a fist for a second - as if he was trying not to touch her.

"Well?" she whispered, briefly taking her lower lip in between her teeth before releasing it. She heard him hiss under his breath and finally, his head dipped down.

The butterflies in Elara's stomach wreaked havoc as he inched closer.

Just as she began to move her hand to cup the back of his neck and bring him closer, unable to stand the distance between them anymore, Draco seemed to come to his senses and jolted away, his eyes resting on her face a second longer before he turned back to the railing.

"You should go," he said, curtly. Elara tried not to look shell-shocked. She had been  _ so  _ close. "It's late."

Her body protested as she took a step back herself, her stomach still in knots.

She cleared her throat, taking one last look over Hogwarts' grounds. "Don't stay out too late. You'll catch a cold."

With that, she turned and slowly crossed the room. She hurried to her dorm, barely able to think, until she collapsed onto her bed and found, to her chagrin, that her craving for a certain tall, blond male with icy eyes and a heartbreaking smile had only intensified.

|

"Patronuses are exceptionally tricky to cast, Elara, so don't be disheartened if you can't do it the first time."

Elara nodded, glancing at Ginny Weasley who was standing next to her. "I just have to think of a happy memory?"

Ginny hesitated. "It's more than happy. You need to think of the last time you felt absolutely at peace. Happiness does some but to cast a full corporeal Patronus, you need to feel completely - peaceful." She frowned. "It's hard to explain."

"I think I get it," Elara told her, her eyes drifting to where Fred and Luna were dueling each other. Fred was laughing as usual and even Luna had a smile on her face as they sent spells back and forth, dodging and twisting.

Everyone was in their element here - everyone except for Elara.

"Alright, now focus on your magic," Ginny advised. "Try to imagine a wisp coming out of the tip of your wand while simultaneously thinking of your happiest memory."

Elara shut her eyes, flicking through her memories like an album. She was sure she had some elated memories in there somewhere - like the time she'd been sorted into Ravenclaw all those years ago.

She remembered staring up in awe at Hogwarts, her heart thrumming in her chest. She had automatically known this would be her home.

She had been expected to be sorted into Slytherin or Hufflepuff like Isaac or Freya - but when the Sorting Hat had called out Ravenclaw as soon as it touched her head, she'd been overjoyed. She had always secretly loved Ravenclaw.

Elara tried to focus on the feeling, tried to block out all the sounds of dueling around her.

She remembered spilling food on Indigo, sleeping in the bed next to Tracy's, competing with Stuart in their academics.

But no matter what she brought to the front of her mind, nothing would leave her wand.

"It's alright," Ginny said, comfortingly. "Like I said, it takes time. Try again."

Elara nodded and closed her eyes again, lifting her wand once more. But before she could zero in on any happy memory, she heard a familiar voice speak up from behind her, laced with rage.

"What the  _ fuck  _ is she doing here?"


	16. sixteen

ELARA WHIRLED AROUND.

She should've expected it but it had slipped her mind that he would be here. And he was  _ very  _ angry.

"Stuart -" she began but Stuart didn't let her finish, instead storming up to Harry and grabbing him by the collar of his robes.

Immediately, the entire room hushed, drawn by the commotion, and Ron made a move towards his best friend. Hermione put out her arm to stop him.

"I fucking told you," Stuart hissed, his normally warm eyes gleaming with fury. "I fucking  _ told  _ you to keep her out of this!"

Harry's hand came up to grip Stuart's wrist. "Stuart -"

"You fucking promised me!" yelled Stuart, his voice booming throughout the room. Elara wondered if the magic of the room would make it sound proof. "You promised me you'd keep them all out of it, Harry!"

"Stuart, please!" Cho stepped forward, her eyebrows pinched together. "She's one of the best witches in school -"

Stuart turned his head to face her, still not releasing Harry. "Oh, so you're the one who suggested it, huh, Cho? I should've known better not to trust you lot -"

"Stuart!" Elara finally yanked herself out of her daze and strode up to her best friend, shoving him away from Harry who stumbled, his hand to neck where Stuart had grabbed him. "Calm the fuck down! What's gotten into you?"

Stuart glared at her, his hair falling into his face. Aggressively, he shoved it away. "Don't fucking start with me, Elara -"

"Don't you dare talk to me that way," Elara spat, her own anger rising. "You don't get to barge in here and lose your shit -"

"You don't even know what you're talking about!" Stuart's fists clenched. "You don't know what they've done!"

Elara forced herself to take a breath and crossed her arms over her chest, meeting his fiery gaze, evenly. "Alright. Then tell me, Stu. Tell me what they've done."

His face had reddened from his outburst and he sent a deadly look at Harry. "You're going to pay, Harry."

"Don't you dare threaten him." Ron stepped forward.

"The only reason - " Stuart went on, ignoring Ron and fixating on Harry. "The only bloody reason that I accepted to join this stupid thing was because you promised to keep them out of it!"

Harry's cheeks were pink. "I know, Stuart, but we had no choice -"

"No choice?" Stuart practically yelled, advancing on Harry again. "You had  _ every  _ choice!"

"If we're in a fight against Voldemort, we need as many people as we can get!" Harry retaliated, not backing down either.

Elara stepped forward again and grabbed Stuart's shoulder. "Stuart, please -"

He shrugged her off, barely sparing her a glance. "You told me you'd keep them out of it. You told me they'd be safe! You gave me your word that you wouldn't make them join -"

"They  _ asked  _ me, Stuart! They didn't force me!" Elara clamped her hand down on his arm and yanked him away from Harry. "Pull yourself together!"

His eyes flashed but he was still looking at Harry. "You said you wouldn't approach them. You promised me, Harry!"

_ "Enough!"  _ Elara practically shook Stuart by his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "Stuart, calm down! Calm down so we can talk and sort this out! You're not going to get anywhere by yelling."

Stuart's chest heaved, the tips of his ears tomato red. "Get her out of here," he hissed, jerking away from Elara's touch. He looked at Hermione, stolidly. "Obliviate her and get her out of here!"

"No one is obliviating me!" Elara snapped. "I made a choice to be here, Stuart, so whatever bullshit you're on about -"

"Elara, you don't know anything about what you're talking about -"

Elara whipped out her wand and promptly Petrified her best friend. She watched as his face went white as he froze and quickly caught him.

George leaped to help carry him. "Blimey, Elara -"

"Just help me get him out of here," she grumbled.

"Don't let anyone see you on the way out," Hermione called as they dragged Stuart towards the door.

Elara removed the spell from her best friend as soon as George had left them in the corridor.

"Elara, what the  _ fuck?" _

"You left me no choice!" Elara exclaimed, furiously. "You were acting like a complete child!"

" _ I _ was acting like a child? Harry broke his word! The one thing he promised me -"

"Why did you want to keep me out?" Elara demanded, stubbornly.

"Because!" Stuart exploded. "Because people will  _ die  _ because of this, Elara! Harry's godfather  _ died  _ last year at the Ministry! Do you know how I'd feel if that was you next? Or Indigo? Or Tracy?"

"You're not our bodyguard!" Elara retorted. "We're capable of making our own choices!"

"Not this one," Stuart heaved for breath, jabbing an accusing finger in the direction of the Room of Requirement. "Not this fucking choice, Elara. Not when the cost of making a mistake is  _ death _ ."

They both fell silent, catching their breaths, glaring at each other.

"So you expect me to not do anything?" Elara said, forcing herself to be composed. "If Voldemort attacks Hogwarts, I'm supposed to sit back and do nothing? Let my friends do the fighting?"

"No." Stuart gritted his teeth. "You're supposed to get out of this fucking castle with Indigo and Tracy.

You're supposed to stay safe and out of danger."

"Stuart -"

"No! You don't fucking understand, Elara! You don't fucking understand how it feels to see someone die in front of you!"

Elara felt like she'd been slapped.

"This is not your bloody fight, Elara," Stuart continued, seething. "This is not your fight and I won't let Harry drag you into it just because he wants a better chance at winning!"

"This isn't your fight either!" she shot back, indignantly.

"Yes, it fucking is! My mother  _ died  _ at the hands of Death Eaters, Elara. She was  _ murdered,  _ in  _ front  _ of me." He turned away, raked his hands through his shaggy hair, roughly. "And from then on, I was  _ alone.  _ I had  _ nobody!" _

He turned on her again and she took a small step back. "I had nobody until I came to Hogwarts. And I met you and Indi and Trace and suddenly, I had a family again. I will  _ not  _ lose you, Elara. I won't."

Tears hit the back of Elara's voice at the raw emotion in her best friend's voice. He was panicking.

"Leave, Elara," he said, his voice low and dangerous. " _ Please.  _ I beg you. Let them obliviate you and  _ leave _ ."

"Stuart, please," she pleaded, reaching for his hand but he pulled away and she felt like sobbing. "Please. You don't have to carry this burden. It's not yours to shoulder. We can take care of ourselves. Don't make me do this."

Stuart stared at her and she realised his eyes were watering too. "Don't you understand, Elara? You will  _ die.  _ Or Tracy. Or Indigo. Do you really think I can bear seeing your bodies?"

Elara barely held back another sob that wrecked her chest. "So I'm supposed to let  _ you  _ put yourself in danger?" Again, she took his hand. Again, he yanked out of her grip, his expression so devastating she felt she might collapse. "We can do this together. Every choice I make is  _ mine.  _ You carry none of the blame if anything happens to me."

"It's not your fucking fight!" he cried out, a tear dropping down his cheek. He wiped it away, furiously. "You have nothing to do with You-Know-Who or the Death Eaters -"

"What? Are you hearing yourself? They're threatening the entire Wizarding World!"

_ "They didn't kill your own mother!"  _ His shoulders were heaving, his eyes still shining with tears. Elara broke a little more. "Back out, Elara."

"They killed  _ your  _ mother and that's as good as killing mine, Stuart!" Elara responded, her voice breaking. "Whatever hurts you, hurts me."

Stuart's eyes glazed over. For a second, she thought she'd gotten through to him. But then he ground out, so quiet, "Back. Out. Elara."

She braced herself, straightening her shoulders and forcing her tears back, wiping the ones on her cheeks. "No. I'm sorry, Stuart, but I won't."

It was Draco that saved her next. Not directly but through the things he'd taught her over the past few months.

She caught the subtle movement of Stuart's hand, reaching for his wand, and immediately, her reflexes kicked in.

Her hand closed around her own wand, yanking it out and pointing it at him. She pictured her emotions leaking out of her mind and down into her finger tips, just like Draco had told her. She didn't even need to utter the words and his wand went flying out of his grip, clattering against the floor.

Stuart looked like he'd been struck by lightning.

"How dare you?" she forced out, tears brimming her eyes again. "How  _ dare  _ you try to Obliviate me against my will? How  _ dare  _ you not respect my decision!"

Stuart's mouth opened then shut. His hand trembled by his side.

"I will do as I please," Elara spat out, her chest aching. "You don't get to  _ force  _ me into doing anything, Stuart."

His jaw trembled. "I'm trying to protect you -"

"I don't want your protection," she interrupted, sharply. Her head spun as she said it, seeing the heartbreaking look on his face.

After a long, painful moment, Stuart stiffened, standing up straighter and towering over her. "Fine then. You made your choice. I guess we know where we stand now."

Elara felt the words pierce through her skin but didn't make any move to stop her best friend as he turned on his heel and stormed away, snatching his wand up from the floor as he did so.

"Fine," she said, quietly, a long while after he'd left. "I guess we do."

|

Going to the Astronomy Tower was a bad idea.

Elara had stormed there to be alone but as she covered the last few steps of the staircase, a very familiar silhouette was by the railing - where he seemed to spend most of his time.

She hoped he wouldn't throw himself off one day.

"Bloody hell!" Elara furiously wiped her damp cheeks - but her tears kept falling. "Can't a girl get  _ one _ moment of peace and quiet around here?"

Draco only turned his head to the side, catching her eye before she could turn away. "Not very friendly today, are we?"

She knew she looked a mess - strands of her curly hair were sticking to her face, her eyes red and swollen, her lips dark from chewing on them so much. Not to mention, she hadn't even bothered to wear anything warm and was practically freezing in her jumper and skirt.

"Fuck off, Malfoy," she sniffed, again rubbing at her eyes to try and halt the tears.

He observed her without a word, his eyes taking her in from top to bottom. "Did you forget we're supposed to train?"

Elara's mind scrambled. It'd completely slipped her mind after the ordeal with Stuart. "Is that now?"

Draco nodded, slowly, as if to say  _ 'duh'. _

He was so  _ annoying. _

"Well, I can't," Elara said, ashamed when her voice cracked. Her chest still ached from her conversation with Stuart and she wanted nothing more than to collapse in a heap and cry for a few hours. "I'm not in the mood."

Draco watched her, examined her wet cheeks, her trembling bottom lip.

She stared back, noted his emotionless expression, the thin white shirt he was wearing, his hair messy due to the breeze up here.

"Take out your wand."

Elara bristled at the order, fixing him with a glare. "I said I'm not in the mood, Draco."

He pushed off the railing and strolled towards her, sliding his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "I don't care."

To her frustration, Elara felt tears slide down her cheeks once more. Why couldn't she stop  _ bloody  _ crying?

She didn't bother to wipe them away. Let Draco see them - maybe then he'd take pity on her.

"I don't know if you noticed, Malfoy, but I happen to be  _ crying - _ "

"You can't wallow forever."

Elara stopped short.

"When shit happens," Draco went on, icily, "you can either break into pieces or get your shit together. You want to pity yourself and pull the whole  _ woe is me  _ attitude? Fine. But don't do it on my time."

Elara hated his existence with such a passion, it was almost unbearable.

"Take out your wand, Jacobs." Draco was two steps away now, looking down at her with cold determination in his eyes. " _ Now _ ."

She hissed through her teeth, rubbed the back of her hand against her mouth. "I said  _ no  _ for Merlin's sake! I don't want to fucking duel with you today -"

He was so quick she barely registered the movement but his hand was at her throat, cool but searing.

Elara's breath hitched as he stepped forward, backing her up against the wall behind her, his eyes dark.

"I won't tell you again," he growled but he lacked the usual danger. "Take out your  _ fucking  _ wand."

Elara was nothing if not stubborn. Despite the fact that he had her pinned against the wall, his hand wrapped around her throat, not enough to hurt but enough to put pressure, she refused to give in.

"No."

His jaw tightened and she fought the urge to press her lips against it. She'd forgotten how he tasted.

"You really want to piss me off, don't you?"

Elara couldn't help it when the corner of her lips turned up into a smile. Draco glowered at her.

"Fine," he breathed, so close she felt his exhale on her face. "I guess I'll have to make you."

The smile slid off Elara's face and she saw the cockiness in Draco's expression as he tightened his fingers, subtly, around her throat, his other palm coming up to press against the wall next to her head.

She was trapped, the distance between them so small that if she moved an inch, her mouth would brush his.

She told herself she was  _ sick  _ for wanting it.

Suddenly, Draco's hand released her throat and her eyes snapped up to his, finding them swirling with an emotion she knew well - lust.

Her knees weakened.

Her skin erupted in goosebumps as his large hand slid, tantalisingly, down her throat, stopping to graze over her collarbone, desire curling in Elara's stomach.

Her lungs heaved for breath as he drifted his hand lower, down her chest, and grazed down her stomach. "I know there's a  _ couple  _ of different places I can look for your wand."

Elara's heart nearly stopped beating.

Draco's hand slid under the hem of her sweater and Elara nearly whimpered, forcing her hands to stay by her sides. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of touching him.

His hand was cold on the skin of her stomach as he dragged his fingers up, up and up, his touch enough to make her want to melt.

He tilted his head, pushed his lips against the shell of her ear. "Here?" The word was accompanied by the intoxicating feeling of his large hand grasping her breast and Elara couldn't help the gasp that fell from her lips, involuntarily arching her back to feel more.

He hummed in her ear with satisfaction before sliding his hand back down, towards the waistband of her skirt where her wand was tucked. She knew he was aware of where it was.

Her breath came out in shaky wisps as he skipped over the top of her skirt and instead, slipped his hand to her bare thigh, giving it a squeeze.

"How about here?"

Elara's nails bit into her palm as she struggled not to grab and devour him.

His fingers traced up her thigh and ghosted over the place where she needed him most. She bit down on her lip, squirming, and he smirked, dragging his long fingers back down her thigh.

_ Tease.  _ Elara wanted to scream but she didn't think she'd be able to even form words right now.

Draco's teeth close around her earlobe, tugging, as he slid his hand to her hip. She couldn't hold back the whimper as he moved it back down, barely grazing between her thighs as he did so.

"Draco -" she gasped out, finally giving in. Her hand flew up to clutch his bicep as he removed his hand from under her skirt, instead sliding it over her skirt and dipping his fingers below the waistband.

"Ah," he murmured, slyly, his breath hot on her ear. Her stomach coiled tighter. "Found it."

His fingers closed around her wand, searing her skin in the process, and he pulled it out, twirling it once in his hand before pressing it into her shaking palm.

"Try to remember how to hold it," he purred, mockingly, before stepping back and away, suddenly putting distance between them.

Elara nearly sank to the floor without his support and heat, struggling to breathe.

"Fuck you," she bit out, frustrated and immensely turned on.

"Not right now, darling, but if you're a good girl, maybe I'll consider it." His tone was laced with sarcasm.

She could feel the heat spread over her face at the thought but shook herself out of it. "I'm going to hex you into oblivion," she warned, getting into dueling position.

His smile was lazy and self-assured. "I'd like to see you try."

  
  



	17. seventeen

ELARA AND STUART DIDN'T SPEAK.

It was easier than she thought it'd be. Granted, she still ached for her best friend and experienced bouts of rage when she thought of him but she had expected a lot more prodding and interrogating from Indigo and Tracy.

But it seemed Elara had put enough distance between her and her friends in the past few months that they didn't even press her after the inital few times of asking what was going on.

Elara hated herself for it. Somehow, she'd drifted from three of her best friends - but at the same time, it lifted a load off of her. She could spend time on her own, her nose buried in her textbooks in the library, desperately trying to learn everything she could before the end of term exams.

Christmas was only a few weeks away now and she knew Professor Flitwick would be doing his rounds soon, collecting the names of those Ravenclaws that would be staying at Hogwarts for the winter holidays.

"Nice one, El!" Luna smiled, approvingly, as Elara cast a quick non-verbal Expelliarmus. "You're brilliant."

Elara returned the smile. "Thanks, Luna."

"You're doing great, Elara," Harry nodded as he strolled towards them. He was doing his rounds, going through each dueling pair in the Room of Requirement, catching their mistakes and praising their efforts.

"I've got good teachers," Elara shot back, playfully, and Harry grinned.

"El, we gotta run." Cho appeared at her shoulder, tugging at her hand. "Quidditch practice. We're already late."

"Shit." Elara pocketed her wand. "Davies will kill us."

Their captain did, in fact, kill them. Well, not literally but Elara wished he would just  _ Avada Kedavra  _ them instead of berating them in front of the entire team.

"... last Quidditch match!... can't even show up on bloody time..."

She tuned out the rest, resorting to hanging her head and waiting for it to be over.

When it finally was and the team moved to mount their brooms, a movement in the bleachers caught her eye.

She turned, not expecting anyone except Tracy to come and watch them practice, especially on such a cold day.

Her heart thudded in her chest as she caught a glimpse of white-blond hair and a tall frame.

"What in Merlin is  _ he  _ doing here?" Indigo muttered, following Elara's gaze. "Since when does he come to watch our Quidditch practices?"

"Who knows why Malfoy does what he does."

Elara's eyes snapped to Stuart as he spoke. He stood on the other side of Indigo, looking up at Draco too. "C'mon, Indi. Let's get up in the air."

Elara watched as Stuart took off, Indigo close on his heels, weaving around each other, laughing when they bumped together.

Her chest ached and she looked back over at Draco. He was watching her friends but slowly, his eyes flicked back to meet hers.

He held her a gaze for a long moment and then raised his eyebrows, suggestively, giving her a smirk.

She saw him mutter something under his breath. Elara couldn't tell what from this distance but suddenly, she heard Stuart yelp from above her.

Her head jerked up just in time to catch Stuart trying to hang onto his broom as it went haywire beneath him, jolting in different directions and bucking like a bull.

"What the -" Indigo exclaimed, coming to a stop. She tried to reach for Stuart and promptly got whacked in the face with his disobedient broom. "Ow!"

The rest of the team whizzed over to see what was wrong and even Tracy stood up in the stands, her face contorted in worry, her hands clamped over her mouth.

Elara turned back to Draco, glaring at him. She mouthed for him to stop but he only gave her a slow, lazy grin, the breeze mussing his hair.

She nearly stumbled. He was so beautiful, she was sure he couldn't be real.

She sent him a more pointed look, praying everyone else was too busy with Stuart to notice Draco watching, proud of his achievement.

She could see him roll his eyes from here and he flicked his wrist, reluctantly. Immediately, Stuart's yells cut off as his broom stabilised.

Draco sent her a look as if to say  _ 'Happy?' _

Elara couldn't help the smile that covered her lips. She thought she saw the corner of his turn up too.

"Jacobs! In the air!"

Elara snapped out of her daze and took to the air.

|

"If someone had seen you, you would've been expelled."

Elara glanced sideways at Draco as she said it. "Again," she added.

"I know." Draco seemed to be in a better mood today.

"Why were you even there?" She perched herself on the edge of the old desk.

He raised a shoulder, leaning back against the railing, on his elbows. "I like making you nervous."

Elara resisted the urge to reach out and grab him - he was too close to the edge of the railing.

"You don't make me nervous."

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk spreading over his features.

Her core tightened.

"You might want to rethink that statement," he said, his voice an octave lower. Her fingertips tingled.

"No, I don't think I do," she said, although she looked away. "Take out your wand."

"Which one?"

She did a double take, staring at him. His eyes had a teasing sheen in them.

"Real mature," she said, dryly, even though seeing him in such a playful mood had her heart beating just a  _ little  _ faster.

She pulled out her own wand, moving to get into dueling position.

"Did you give your name in yet?"

The question was so out of the blue Elara halted her movements, instead looking up to meet his eyes once more. "What?"

He did take out his wand then, spinning it in his deft fingers. "For staying here. During the holidays."

Something warm curled in Elara's chest. He wanted to know if she was staying.

He must have read the expression on her face because he went on, "I want to know if I'm going to be wasting my time up here during Christmas or not."

"Have other plans, do you?" she said, dryly, but the warmth in her chest only expanded, making her feel giddy.

"I might." He looked away, out over the grounds.

"I have to go talk to my sister first," Elara said, finally. "Have you?"

His eyes flickered back to hers. "Yeah."

She felt the word solidify something within her. He was staying. She wanted to stay too.

_ Desperately _ .

She pushed the thought away. She wanted to stay because she couldn't handle her parents right now. Because she would combust if she had to deal with her family on top of Fletcher, Stuart, Snape and Malfoy.

She did  _ not  _ want to stay because Draco was staying.

And certainly not because she wanted to see him in an overcoat with snowflakes gleaming in his hair on Christmas Day, a lazy grin on his face as he looked at her from where he was leaning against the railing.

_ Definitely  _ not.

"I'll be able to teach you a lot more."

Draco's voice jerked her out of her insane thoughts. "What?"

"If you stay," he went on, quietly, his silver eyes watching her, "I'll be able to teach you a lot more."

Elara's chest felt fuzzy and she wanted to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. Was he -?

She didn't dare ask him, knowing the mask would slide on over his features as soon as the words left her mouth.

But she didn't have to. From the way he looked away and cleared his throat before suddenly sending a hex her way, effectively starting their session, she knew he had been asking her to stay.

|

"Absolutely not."

Freya's caramel eyes were filled with disbelief as she stared at her younger sister. "Absolutely not! How can you even think - "

"Freya,  _ please! _ " Elara reached out and seized her hand. "I can't explain to you how much I dread going home." She felt nausea rise in her throat just thinking about it.

Freya gaped at her from across the desk they were sitting at in the library. "Do you even understand what you're saying? Mum and Dad will be  _ furious!" _

Elara's hand formed a fist, briefly. "I know. I  _ know.  _ But I have so much on my plate right now and going home is really the worst option possible -"

Freya threw up her hands. "What in the world do you have on your plate?" She ducked her head as Madam Pince shot them a seething look. Freya lowered her voice. "I understand you're worried for the exams but I don't see why that's an appropriate excuse to not come home for Christmas! The exams will be over and done with by then."

Elara bit back her reply. If only Freya knew.

But she couldn't tell her - no matter how much she wanted to. Couldn't tell her about what Fletcher had done, about her fight with Stuart, about the task Snape had forced onto her shoulders. Couldn't tell her about Draco.

"Freya, please," pleaded the younger witch. "I'll write to them and tell them it was my decision and you did your best to stop me - "

Freya's lower lip quivered as she glared at her sister. "Then why come to me? Why come and tell me? Why not just write to them and leave me out of it? You've obviously made up your mind. Why burden me - "

Elara flinched like she'd been hit. "You're my  _ sister,  _ Freya. I wanted you to at least know - "

"So I'm not heartbroken when the train leaves without you?" Freya hissed back. "Mum and Dad will  _ kill  _ me and you're being incredibly selfish right now - "

"Selfish?" Elara gasped, offended. "I'm being  _ selfish?  _ " She tried to keep her temper in check.

"Yes! Selfish!" Freya earned another harsh look from the librarian. "You're leaving  _ me  _ to deal with Mum and Dad and - and what about Amelia? She's going to be devastated that you didn't come back to spend Christmas with her - "

"You're worried about  _ Amelia?" _ Elara demanded, incredulously. "Out of everybody in our family, she'd be the first to understand that I didn't want to come home. And she's only ten!"

Hurt flashed in Freya's expression.

"Plus," Elara ploughed on, "Isaac is coming back this year. You guys will have plenty on your hands with him and Zoe - "

Freya slammed the book she'd been reading before Elara came shut. The sound reverberated through Elara's bones and she stopped talking.

"Do as you wish." Freya's tone was so cold, Elara wondered if  _ she'd  _ been taking lessons from Draco. "I'll give Isaac and Zoe your regards."

With that, her elder sister marched out of the library, leaving Elara in despair.

|

"You look like you haven't slept."

"I haven't. You don't look like you have either."

"Not for a minute. You sure you want to duel -"

"Yes, Jacobs. Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Then stop talking."

"... Alright."

  
  



	18. eighteen

ELARA DID IT ANYWAY.

If she valued her life enough, she wouldn't have given her name in. But at that point, she was so exhausted and stressed that she didn't even care what her parents would think when they found out she wasn't going to be coming home.

She'd write them after the train left. So that they couldn't somehow force Freya to take her along, she thought as she raised her hand to tell Professor Flitwick she would be staying at Hogwarts for the winter holidays.

But soon, those thoughts were furthest from her mind as exam season hit.

Every day, Elara found herself sat at the table in a secluded section of the library, poring over books and charts and articles.

No one bothered to join her - Stuart for obvious reasons, Indigo because she barely studied and Tracy because she couldn't concentrate unless she was alone.

The Weasley twins passed by every once in a while, patting her on the back and ruffling her hair, and she even spotted the Golden Trio gathered at another table, talking in low voices.

But Elara found herself skipping even the sessions at the Room of Requirement, choosing to spend that time making notes and revising.

The only time she spared was for Draco.

She told herself it was because he was a good teacher and she enjoyed hand to hand combat - which they were focusing on these days.

But a little part of her brain nagged that she only liked hand to hand combat because it was with  _ him. _

Maybe because she finally got to touch him - to feel his skin against hers - even if it was when he was twisting her arm behind her back or swiping her legs out from underneath her so she collapsed in a messy heap.

Regardless, it was the only time she felt she could breathe a little easier, the only time she didn't feel pressured and goaded and -

"What's wrong with you?"

Elara looked up from where she was skipping stones across the Great Lake. "What are you doing here?"

Draco watched as she threw another stone. "I saw you from the Astronomy Tower. Merlin knows what you're doing out here in the cold." He held out his hand. "Here."

Elara stared down at the small cardboard box in his hand. "What -"

"Food," he said, curtly. "You're getting weaker by the day and it's really pissing me off." He shook the box at her. "You're getting  _ way  _ too easy to overpower."

Elara stared at his hand. "And what makes you think I haven't eaten?"

He scoffed, his eyes trailing up and down her physique. "Look at you."

She bristled at his offensive tone. "What is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?"

"Just take the damn food, Jacobs. I've got things to do." His tone was colder than the air around them.

She glared at him but her heart was skipping beats. Reaching out, she took the box from him, making sure to brush his fingers in the process. He was warm.

"Don't come tomorrow night," he said, sharply, retracting his hand. "Let's give it a rest. And eat more or I  _ will  _ kill you."

He turned and strode away without another word.

|

Exam week finally arrived and Elara saw nothing of Draco.

She wondered if he was studying too - or if he managed to come second in the year without even glancing at a book. She wouldn't be surprised.

But she forced herself to put him aside until exams were over. Her parents would already be mad enough that she wouldn't be coming home for Christmas - she really didn't want them to start yelling at her for not doing well in her exams.

She spotted Freya a few times, her own nose buried in her textbooks, but her sister hardly made any move to acknowledge her, even when Elara greeted her.

They sat for exam after exam. Elara was meticulous in her work - she checked it once, checked it twice, thrice. She couldn't afford to make mistakes. Every night, she'd collapse in her bed, exhausted, her mind still racing with information.

The next two weeks dragged on but as the weather grew even colder, the castle slowly began to bustle with preparations for departure.

Elara watched from her bed as Tracy and Indigo packed their trunks, chatting non-stop about their plans for the holidays.

Tracy glanced over mid-conversation, her calico cat, Meep, in her arms. "My offer still stands, El. Mum and Dad would be delighted to have you for the holidays."

Elara sent her a small smile. "Thanks, Trace. But I don't want to be a bother."

"You know I'd offer to have you stay," Indigo put in, shutting her trunk. "But Mum's sick with spattergoit and we don't want to expose you."

Again, Elara smiled. "I know. Thanks anyway. Give your parents my love."

Freya only approached Elara when they were about to leave to catch the train from Hogsmeade.

"I'll give Mum and Dad your love," she said, stiffly, but she reached out to give Elara a hug.

She sank into her elder sister's arms, fighting back tears and forced them away before she could see them.

"Take care," Elara said, unable to stop her voice from shaking. "Tell Amelia I'll see her soon."

Freya nodded and then stepped back but her eyes softened as she took one last look at her younger sister before following the rest of the Hufflepuff house out of the main doors of the castle.

Stuart didn't spare Elara so much as a glance as he left, shouldered by Indigo and Tracy who gave Elara a wave and a flying kiss as they passed out into the frosty air.

She had chosen this, Elara reminded herself. She had wanted to stay.

But she couldn't help the feeling of abandonment that gathered in her chest as the castle doors finally shut behind the last of the Ravenclaws.

"Don't look so down," Luna nudged her, gently. "Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys are still here."

"I thought Cho was staying too," Elara said, still staring at the doors.

"She went to stay with the Patil twins," Luna told her, slipping her arm through hers and starting to guide her away. "It's just me and you now. I'll try to remember to come back to the common room to sleep if that makes you feel better."

Elara squeezed Luna's hand, giving the blonde witch a warm smile. "Thanks, Luna, but that's alright. I'd rather you're comfortable. How in the world do you manage to sleep outside the dorms without getting caught?"

"I barely sleep," said Luna, cheerfully. "I find it distracts me."

Elara couldn't help a giggle.

|

"I'm assuming you want to die."

Elara looked up from where she was reading a book at the Ravenclaw table at breakfast the next morning.

Draco was towering over her, wearing a loose white dress shirt with a grey sweater on top. His hair gleamed in the light of the chandeliers.

"What?" she said, surprised that he was talking to her in public. She snuck a glance and saw Snape watching them with hawk eyes from the front of the hall.

Draco nodded at the plate in front of her, on which there was nothing but a small tart. " _ That's  _ your breakfast?"

Elara stared down at the lemon dessert. "Yes," she said, offended, already reaching for it. "You can't have it."

Draco blinked and a moment later, shook his head. "You think I'm going to steal your tart?"

Elara glowered at him, raising the tart to her mouth. "Yes."

He watched her pop the tart into her mouth, shutting her eyes in bliss and to her utter humiliation, an inhumane - rather, sensual - sound escaped her throat as sweetness burst on her tongue.

Her eyes snapped open and she was already flushing red when she realised his eyes had darkened, his jaw taut.

She was suddenly glad there was no one around them and that the teachers were too far away to hear.

"Funny," Draco drawled, his eyes glittering like diamonds. "It seems that tart and I have something in common."

Elara's throat was dry as she swallowed, unable to drag her eyes from his. "You... and the tart?"

He pressed his palms onto the table in front of him, leaning over it to get closer to her. "We can both make you moan."

Elara's mouth dropped open at the same time as Draco smirked before he promptly took a seat opposite her, grabbing her now empty plate and piling it with food.

"What -" She glanced around but none of the few students at the other tables seemed to notice Draco Malfoy sitting at the Ravenclaw one. "Draco, what in Merlin are you doing?"

"I'm making you eat," he said, stubbornly, long fingers reaching for another lemon tart and sliding it onto her plate. He pushed the dish towards her. "Since you can't seem to accomplish something as easy as that on your own, I'm not leaving until you finish that entire thing."

Elara's eyes widened at the small mountain of food he'd assimilated. "Draco -"

"Eat," he ordered, sending her a look. "Now."

He didn't make conversation as she did, just watched her with those cold eyes, as if making sure she swallowed every bite.

She decided to toy with him and made a similar sound to the one she'd made before as she finished off the lemon tart.

His hand on the table clenched into a fist before flexing, as if he was desperately trying not to reach across the table.

To devour her or pummel her, she didn't know.

"There," she said, innocently, pushing the plate away, feeling as if she was. going to burst at the seams with all the food she'd just taken in. "All done."

Draco eyed her like he was expecting her to have somehow magicked the food away. As if she hadn't taken every single bite under his gaze.

"What?" she scowled at him, displeased with his expression.

But then he reached forward and picked up another lemon tart, tossing it onto her plate. "One more."

Elara couldn't keep the smile off her face.

|

"Don't worry, you'll get it."

Elara heaved a sigh, dropping her wand arm. "Who knew Patronuses were so  _ hard?" _

Harry chuckled, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Trust me. It took a whole flock of Dementors to get one out of me."

"Don't give up, Elara," Ron called from where he was dueling with Hermione who Stupefied him a split second later. He went flying.

"That's the sixth time you've Stupefied him, 'Mione," Fred said, cheerily, as he dodged one of Luna's hexes.

"I'll make it seven soon enough," Hermione smiled as Ron clambered to his feet, grumbling under his breath.

"At this rate, I'm going to be laid up in bed by the time Hermione's done with me," he said, dusting himself off.

"Probably," George called from where he was sitting against the wall, taking a break. "But we all know you'd never miss the Hogsmeade trip."

"I'm so glad they're taking us," Luna crooned, sending another spell towards Fred who defended it. "We've never spent New Year's in Hogsmeade before."

"I'm surprised they're even letting us stay there till the clock strikes twelve," Hermione put in. "With... Voldemort on the rise, I thought Dumbledore would cancel all New Year plans."

"He's not going to attack Hogsmeade," Harry said in response. "I'd know if he was."

"Well, Voldemort isn't going to stop me from getting some Butterbeer to celebrate," Fred joked before he was Stupefied in the face by Luna. "Blimey, Luna!"

Elara made a mental note to ask Draco if he'd be going to Hogsmeade.

  
  



	19. nineteen

"DO BETTER."

Draco was in a foul mood.

Elara huffed in exasperation, climbing to her feet for the fifth time this hour. "I'm  _ trying  _ -"

"Try harder," he snapped at her. His hair was disheveled from the breeze as well as all the movement, the first two buttons of his white shirt undone, a frequent resting place for Elara's eyes.

"What the fuck is up with you?" Elara demanded, fixing her ponytail. "You look like someone pissed in your -"

Before she could finish her sentence, Draco flicked his wand and a red spell came barreling towards her.

She focused and defended it. "I bet that was a Silencio."

"How ever did you guess," he said, dryly, casting another one at her. She flicked it away and sent another back to him.

He twisted away from it and his wand flashed with another whipping movement. Elara barely protected herself against that one.

She could see he was angry and taking it out on her today. "Draco, let's just -"

He shut her up with another spell and she gritted her teeth, dodging it. "Can we just talk?"

"I don't want to fucking  _ talk,"  _ he hissed, flicking his wand twice in quick succession to send two spells spiralling at her.

She defended one but the other nicked her in her shoulder, making her cry out as pain blossomed there.

Immediately, Draco halted in his tracks like he'd been shot.

Elara clutched her shoulder with her free arm, looking at him, murderously.

"Fucking hell," he spoke through gritted teeth as he strode over to her and grabbed her by her good arm. He pressed his wand to her shoulder and muttered an incantation; the healing spell washed over her with a shiver. "I've never had to heal someone as much as I have with you."

Elara raised her eyebrow at him with a scoff. "You act like you're not the one hexing me."

Draco looked down at her with stormy eyes. "Leave."

Elara blinked at him as he stepped away from her, pocketing his wand and striding over to the railing. "What?"

" _ Leave." _ His tone was harsh, his expression blank.

She waited for more information but he only turned his back to her. She could make out the muscles beneath his thin shirt.

"Why?" she asked, cautiously, hoping he wouldn't blow up on her. She took a step towards him, rotating her newly healed shoulder. "I thought we were practicing?"

"Yes and now we're done," Draco snapped back, not even glancing at her. "So leave."

Elara frowned at his cold tone, her ego bruised. "Fine."

She turned to cross the room and descend the staircase but stopped short when she remembered to ask about Hogsmeade.

_ Now is not a good time. _

She started for the stairs again but faltered once more.

_ It'll never be a good time. _

Steeling herself for a rude response, she turned to face Draco's back. "Are you going to Hogsmeade?"

He tensed as soon as she said it and she knew he was wondering why she was still here. "Why the fuck are you asking?"

She fought the urge to shrink back and flee. Although her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment, she pushed on. "I wanted to know."

Draco exhaled a breath as if he was considering throttling her. "And why, for  _ Merlin's  _ sake, do you want to know?"

Elara bit down on her lip, still staring at his back. Tentatively, she moved a little closer. "I..."

Trailing off, she remembered Snape's disappointment with her the day before, the way he'd sneered at her for not digging up anything on Draco yet.

"I -" She cleared her throat, realised her palms were damp. She wiped them on her trousers. "I was just curious. You don't need to be so defensive."

She turned on her heel to leave but froze when Draco spoke from behind her, having finally swiveled around.

"Bullshit," he bit out but his tone lacked the edge it had just a few moments earlier. "Tell me why you want to know."

She wished she could say because Snape had told her to find out but even if that were the truth, she wouldn't have been able to divulge it to him.

But the truth was: she didn't know why.

All she knew was Draco Malfoy was starting to mess with her head.

"I owe you," she said instead, facing him. He was watching her, emotionless, taking in her hesitation. "You've done - alot for me. I thought we could get Butterbeers together - on me."

A muscle in Draco's jaw twitched and he looked away, his hands gripping the railing behind him.

"But that's fine," Elara rushed to finish, tripping over her words. "It's fine. You can go with - with Zabini and Nott and - and Pansy. It's not a problem -"

"Aren't you going with Potter?" His voice was so quiet she didn't even realise he'd spoken for a moment. "And his sidekicks?"

Elara blinked, digesting the question. "I..." She caught his eye and pulled herself together. "Why would you -"

"I saw you at the Gryffindor table at dinner last night." He said it bluntly but she could detect the bitterness in the undertones. "Answer the question."

"I might, yeah."

He raised an eyebrow at her uncertain tone.

"They - haven't offered per se but they've already included me in their plans so... so I guess I am."

Draco gave a quick exhale through his nose - something akin to a scoff - and turned his head to the side, breaking their eye contact. "Right. Then why, for fuck's sake, are you asking me?"

Elara ran her tongue over her teeth. "I just thought - I'd ask. I could always excuse myself and come join you."

Draco's eyes flicked back to her, resting for a second before he spoke. "I'd rather not be your charity case, Jacobs. Enjoy your New Year's with Saint Potter and his posse."

Elara was offended. "Who said anything about a charity case?"

Draco rolled his eyes, finally pushing off the railing. She met his eyes, steadily, as he advanced on her, his posture relaxed despite the dark look in his eyes.

"Stop trying to convince me. You can go with Potter," he said under his breath, ice coating his words, "and I'll fuck Pansy on every piece of furniture in the Slytherin common room."

Elara wanted to rear back, his words causing a pang in her chest, but forced herself to continue to stare up at him, not breaking his gaze.

"Give Pansy my condolences," she replied, coolly, stepping back from him and heading for the staircase. "I can't picture a more  _ unsatisfying  _ way to spend my New Year's."

|

Elara's feelings were hurt.

She knew they were and yet she forced them away.

She shouldn't have felt hurt. It was none of her business. And Malfoy had never given her the impression that he cared for her.

Had he?

Elara's mind flashed back to how he'd brought her food, forced her to eat - no one had even noticed she'd been losing weight and not eating.

She thought of him holding her through her panic attack, him refusing to tell McGonagall what really happened with Fletcher even if it got him expelled.

No. He did all that for his own gain. Somehow, somewhere, he had seen his benefit in all those actions and gone through with them as a result.

He had never led her on. He had every right to fuck Pansy on - on every piece of furniture in the Slytherin common room, as he so eloquently put it.

Elara screamed into her pillow in her empty dorm.

|

Elara barely saw anything of Draco until Christmas Day.

She would catch glimpses of him, white-blond hair at the Slytherin table, striding to the common room with Nott, reading books in the library - sometimes with Pansy.

But other than that, they both seemed to consider their Astronomy Tower lessons cancelled - or at least, on hold.

It happened just as Elara was hurrying to the Great Hall for the Christmas Feast.

She was already late, having spent forty minutes in the bath after a long day of mucking about in the snow with Harry and the Weasleys. Hermione had watched from the sidelines, casting charms to make them all slip and slide even more than they already were.

Elara had come back to the Ravenclaw common room, soaking wet and freezing to the bone, and had promptly submerged herself into a hot bath.

She took a shortcut through a long, twisting corridor, deciding that this was the quickest way to the Great Hall and stopped short when she heard the sound of glass shattering from the bathroom she was passing by.

She froze, straining her ears, and heard it again, the unmistakable sound of glass splintering.

Frowning, she drew her wand and headed for the bathroom, wondering if Peeves was causing trouble again.

But as soon as she crossed the threshold into the dimly lit bathroom, her breath caught in her throat and she inhaled, sharply, the sharp metallic smell of blood invading her senses.

She turned the corner, clutching her wand, but it clattered to the floor when she laid her eyes on Draco, standing by the sink, clutching the edge of it.

In front of him was a shattered mirror, punched into a kaleidoscope of different images due to the splintering of the glass.

Elara could see the blood stains on it - knew they matched the cuts that would be on his knuckles.

"Draco, what the fuck?" she said, softly, taking a cautious step closer.

His back was to her, his shoulders heaving from the exertion. Her sharp eyes caught smudges of blood on the cuffs of his white shirt.

"Get out." His voice was so low and so deadly. She resisted the urge to obey.

"Draco -"

"I said, get out, Jacobs." His hair was disheveled, his knuckles almost white from grasping the edge of the sink.

"What's going -"

"I  _ said  _ -" He gripped the sink tighter.

"Let me help -"

"Get  _ out!"  _ He whirled on her and his wand flashed as he shot a hex her way.

Elara's heart lodged in her throat and she ducked, snatching up her wand from the floor and blocking another hex before sending an Expelliarmus his way.

He flicked his wand, batting it away, and moved forward, as graceful as a cat, sending hex after hex.

She could see the paleness of his skin - paler than usual. His chest was heaving, his eyes wild, panting as he cast spell after spell.

Elara blocked all of them.

"Draco, stop!" she cried out, ducking again as he sent a spell at her head.

He ignored her, coming closer, and she took a quick step back, diverting another spell of his. It ricocheted off the nearest mirror, shattering it and glass rained down on them.

Elara gritted her teeth, her blood rushing in her ears, and concocted a quick plan in her head, even as she dodged another hex.

The next one he sent at her, she diverted with a purpose. It crashed into the mirror behind him and glass showered down on him, distracting him for half a second.

It was enough time for Elara to disarm him with an Expelliarmus.

His wand skittered under one of the sinks, too far for him to reach, even if he tried.

He watched her with hooded eyes, waiting for her to Stupefy him or shoot any other bloody hex at him.

But Elara only dropped her wand arm, gasping for breath.

She wanted so badly to yell at him, to scold him, to call him out. Shake his shoulders, demand to know what was going on - why he'd been treating her as if she was scum the past week.

But the look he was giving her - it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"Draco..." Her voice was so quiet, too quiet, and she mustered enough courage to step towards him.

He didn't move a muscle, his hands at his sides, flexing and unflexing, repeatedly.

"It's okay," she said, gently, moving ever closer. "You're okay. I'm here now."

Those tragic silver eyes stayed fixed on hers as she pocketed her wand, trying to show him she wasn't a threat.

She was in front of him now and he stared down at her, still breathing heavily.

Elara reached up her hand, caught his chin in it and peered at the small cut on his cheekbone where the glass had cut him.

She gave him an apologetic look and dropped her hand, picking up his own and turning it over, examining the cuts dotting his white knuckles. His skin was cold to the touch.

"Can I clean this up for you?" she asked, softly, meeting his eyes once again.

She started at the look in them - they had switched from haunted to hungry in less than a few seconds.

Despite herself, she felt desire curl in her core.

She should  _ not  _ be finding him attractive right now - not with a cut on his cheekbone, his knuckles bloody, his hair damp with sweat.

But when his jaw clenched and his tongue wet his lips, Elara found her knees weakening.

She found herself unable to break from his gaze, unable to stop him when he began to walk forward, backing her up against the sink, his breathing rough.

Her nerve endings tingled, delightfully, at his close proximity and she tried to make a move to stop him but found she was losing her self control at an alarming rate.

"Draco -"

"Let me." It was the first words he'd said since she walked into the bathroom. His eyes were a dark silver, swirling with desire, as he looked down at her, his fingers digging into her hips. "Let me fuck you."

Elara's heart felt like it had jumped into her mouth. She struggled to take a breath, her throat dry.

He was starved for touch - as was she.

He waited, not a trace of emotion on his face, apart from pure, raw lust. The first few buttons of his white shirt were undone, his hair messy, his knuckles still bruised and bloody.

She wanted him, despite it all.

She wanted him, despite every cell in her brain telling her she shouldn't.

Forbidden fruit  _ does  _ always taste the sweetest.

Elara gave him the smallest of nods.

He caught the movement, sharp as a fox, and swiveled her around, the edge of the sink cutting into her stomach as he pressed her against it.

The mirror in front of them was the only one left intact and she caught his eye in it. He was hungry for her; it was written on every single feature on his face.

Elara steadied herself, gripping the edge of the sink, as Draco made quick work of their clothes, pulling down the zipper of his trousers and bunching her skirt up at her hips.

Butterflies wreaked havoc in her stomach, her pulse beating hard, as Draco met her eyes one last time.

It was a meaningful pause.

"Yes," she said and then he was inside her - so sharply she cried out, her head dropping.

He let out a hiss but gave her no time to adjust - she soon realised their little dueling session hadn't been enough for him to release his anger. He was now taking it out on her body.

His thrusts were relentless, sharp and hard, somehow hitting every spot in her, despite the fact that he was only doing this for himself - her pleasure came second.

But he still had Elara in a sweaty mess of mewls and whimpers as he fucked her from behind, his long fingers leaving bruises on her hips.

" _ Fuck _ ." His teeth came down on her neck, sending a heavenly jolt of pain through her, as he pushed into her again, stretching her to the point she thought she might fall apart.

Elara gasped as she felt his hand leave her hip and tangle in her hair, jerking her head back so her back was arched. She let out a breathy moan as he pounded into her, his hips shifting into hers so roughly she knew she'd be bruised.

He slid a hand up her body, wrapping it around her throat and squeezing, and his breaths hit the back of her neck, in time with his merciless thrusts.

"Say my name." His lips were at her ear, his voice rough. "Say it."

An unexpected cry fell from Elara's lips as he plunged into her again, tightening his hand around her throat, the other still knotted in her hair, pulling her head back.

His teeth grazed against her ear, tugged at the earlobe.  _ "Say my name, Elara." _

Elara made the conscious effort not to, one of her hands flying up to land on his around her throat, the other clutching the edge of the sink for dear life. But when Draco pulled out of her and rammed himself inside her once again with a rough, sharp thrust, his name ripped from her lips before she could stop it.

He growled against her neck and bit the skin there, tracing his tongue over it after to soothe it, as he dropped his hand from her throat to push her skirt up over her waist again. It had fallen during his violent movements.

Elara was awash with pain and pleasure - the strange combination had her in tatters in his arms.

He'd always been rough with her before - but this time, he was  _ really  _ using her as an outlet for his frustration and anger.

At what, she didn't know. But when she met his eyes in the mirror, she could see how lost he was in his own pleasure, intent on devouring her.

"I'm going to ruin you," he rasped into her ear, thrusting into her and making her mewl. "I'm going to  _ fucking ruin you,  _ Elara."

Elara could barely form words as he continued with his relentless assault of her body. She could feel the familiar feeling tighten in her core - a feeling she hadn't felt for so long.

"Shit!" she cried out, her hair sticking to her face, and his rings bit into her skin as he took a step back, distancing them from the sink enough to bend her over it, instead of having her pressed up against it.

Elara winced as he pushed into her again, hips battering against her, as he found a new rhythm, pounding it out against her small body.

One large hand splayed across her lower back, the other sliding to grip her hip, and Elara felt herself clench around him.

He hissed in response, meeting her eyes in the mirror, and her lips parted, whimpers falling from them every time he entered her again.

And somehow, even though he was only releasing his anger and chasing his own high, Elara felt the coil of desire tighten low in her stomach and she cried out his name as the orgasm ripped through her with a vengeance.

Her vision went white for a split second, her toes curling and back arching, as she came around him and he buried his hand back in her hair, fucking her through it.

Elara's arms shook from where they were propped on the sink and if Draco hadn't been holding her up, she knew she would've collapsed.

She could do nothing but whimper as she took him, her head still spinning from her high.

Draco's hand left her hair to grip her hips for the last few painful thrusts before he came with a sharp grunt.

Elara's legs were still trembling when he pulled out of her, so abruptly she gasped.

She caught her breath, her heart pounding, and pushed herself up from the sink, her chest heaving, as she watched him redo his belt with shaking fingers.

The tragic look in his eyes as he stepped back was enough to bring tears to hers, the ache in her chest resuming at the sight of it.

Then he was gone.

  
  



	20. twenty

DRACO ACTED LIKE ELARA DIDN'T EXIST.

The young witch found it absolutely infuriating. He wouldn't look at her, wouldn't acknowledge her, wouldn't even glance in her general direction.

He'd sit at the Slytherin table with Zabini, Nott and Pansy and wouldn't even look up when Elara entered with her friends - even when Zabini would drop a snide comment at her.

It was all very annoying and - hurtful. Elara hated how it was hurtful.

And it only made it worse that Snape noticed too.

"Would you care to explain how Malfoy went from sitting with you at the Ravenclaw table to not even acknowledging your presence?"

Elara bristled, sinking further into the chair opposite Snape's desk. "He has bipolar disorder. I'm sure of it."

Snape was not amused.

"I'm not joking," Elara said. "One minute, he's forcing me to eat because he thinks I'm too thin and the next, he's yelling at me and trying to hex me."

She left out the part where they proceeded to have sex afterwards - for obvious reasons.

Snape hummed in thought. "Did you ever manage to find out what him and Parkinson were looking for the night they got caught by your sister?"

Elara shook her head. "I tried to bring it up a few times but he brushed me off. He doesn't want me knowing."

Snape nodded, slowly, still deep in thought. "Hmm. I'll try to do some snooping of my own. The Headmaster told me to tell you to...'hang in there', as he put it."

Elara scratched a spot on her wrist. "Yeah. Well. I'm already too deep in this." She stared at her hands, remembering Draco's bloody knuckles, the devastating look in his eyes that night. "He's definitely hiding something."

"Not 'just a boy' anymore, hmm?" Snape drawled, sitting back in his chair.

Elara glanced at the clock and got to her feet, shaking her head. "No. He's still just a boy to me. I just don't think he realises it."

|

"I'm sorry, Harry. I've been trying for so long -"

"It's okay. It's okay. Don't worry. Patronuses are tricky. You'll get it eventually."

Elara sighed, dropping her wand arm.

"You're not trying hard enough," Hermione piped up from the corner, looking at Elara with something close to disdain on her face.

"'Mione," Ron nudged her, gently, sending her an imploring look.

"What? She isn't!" Hermione shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Her mind is clearly elsewhere."

"I'm doing my best," Elara retorted, coldly.

"If this is your best then -"

"Hermione, enough!" Harry chided.

"I just don't see why we're wasting our time trying to teach her when she clearly has more important things on her mind!"

Elara shook her head. "I'm leaving." She headed for the door.

"No, wait - Elara -" Ron was coming after her.

"Leave her, Ron -" That was Hermione.

Harry caught up to Elara as she stepped out of the Room of Requirement, his hand closing around hers. "El, wait."

"It's not your fault," she replied, not halting her pace. "She's never liked me."

"Just - Just hold on a minute, okay?" He tugged at her hand, pulling her to a stop.

Elara turned to face him, her irritation obvious on her face.

"She -" Harry struggled to find the words, pushing a hand through his dark hair. "She's just under a lot of pressure."

"So am I," Elara replied, calmly. "You don't have to explain, Harry. It's not your fault."

"Yes but -" He stopped again. "But I still feel responsible. Hermione's usually so kind but she just - I think you two got off on the wrong foot, that's all."

Elara shrugged, catching Mrs. Norris darting around the corner of the corridor. "I think she thinks I'm challenging her intelligence."

Harry looked sheepish. "Yeah...Yeah, it could be. But it's also Ron -" He stopped short, his cheeks flushing.

"Ron?" Elara asked, dropping her hands back to her sides and reaching for his arm as he made to turn back towards the Room of Requirement. "What about Ron?"

"I shouldn't have said anything -"

"But you did," Elara interrupted with a glare. "So tell me."

Harry shifted from foot to foot, hesitating. "She... Don't tell anyone I told you, alright?"

Elara nodded.

"She's jealous."

"Of Ron."

"No! Of... Of you. Ron... Ron pays so much attention to you and he's constantly - complimenting you. And she -"

"She likes Ron."

"Well, yeah."

"And she thinks I'm interested in him?"

"I...I don't know about that. She just told me she hates how Ron likes you."

Elara stared. "Ron does  _ not  _ like me."

Harry looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "I mean - he hasn't told me but... but he might."

"He's only looking out for me."

"Yes - well - I don't know. I thought... for some time, I thought he liked 'Mione but I think he's just - confused."

"Confused," Elara echoed just as a movement flashed in the corner of her eye.

Both Harry and her turned their heads.

Draco Malfoy was standing at the end of the corridor, clad in all black, his eyes fixed on them.

Elara's heart went haywire in her chest. She could feel it beating in her ears.

Even Harry seemed to freeze.

Time seemed to slow as Draco's eyes flicked between both their faces before dropping to where Elara had her hand on Harry's arm. She resisted the urge to pull away.

She saw him scoff, his lips turned up in a humourless, cold smile, shaking his head as he looked away from them, his tongue poking into his cheek.

She could almost picture him saying _"Of course."_ as sarcasm dripped from his tongue.

His silver eyes met hers one last time before he turned and strode away, disappearing down the adjoining corridor.

"Malfoy," ground out Harry, darkly, before shaking his head and turning back to face Elara. "Now that I'm here, I may as well ask: do you have feelings for Ron?"

Elara didn't take her eyes off the place Draco had stood just a moment earlier, her heart still pounding in her chest.

"No," she breathed a minute later, still dazed. "I'm more into blonds."

Harry didn't seem to catch onto the insinuation.

|

Hogsmeade was quiet - even on New Year's Eve.

Elara walked arm in arm with Luna and Fred, their boots crunching the snow as they meandered through the lanes.

Occasionally, Luna would pull them into a small shop, losing herself in trinkets and necklaces.

"Luna, you've made us stop about eleven times in the past ten minutes," George complained from behind them as the young blonde witch ran her fingers through an array of necklaces hanging from the display.

"Enchanted necklaces, miss," said the shopkeeper, an old goblin. "Will protect you against all types of Dark Magic!"

"Harry, you'll want to buy a pair," teased Fred, glancing over at Harry who was huddled next to Ron and Hermione at the entrance to the shop.

Elara cracked a smile.

By the time they reached the Three Broomsticks, it was an hour to midnight and they were frozen to the bone.

"Stop that, Freddie!" Ron tried to duck as Fred lobbed one last snowball at him but it still struck him square on the back of his head. "Bloody hell!"

He shook his damp red hair out, grumbling and Elara saw Hermione side-eye him with a small smile.

The two witches locked eyes and the smile slipped from Hermione's face. She turned away.

"Over here, guys!" Ginny called out from a table in the corner. She waved them over. "Madam Rosmerta, ten more Butterbeers please!"

"And one Firewhiskey!" Seamus shouted over the din, scooting his chair to the side to allow Ron to collapse into the one next to him.

They crowded themselves around the table and Elara ended up sandwiched between Harry and Ginny, feeling awfully like a third wheel.

"Blimey, Ron, you're soaked!" Dean commented, taking in Ron's damp scarf and hair as they dripped all over the table.

"Yeah, no thanks to these two," Ron muttered, sourly, jerking his head towards the twins.

Luna, quickly, cast a Drying charm on him. "There we go."

"Thanks, Luna."

The Butterbeers arrived, their sweet smell wafting into the air, and Elara rubbed her hands together, trying to generate some warmth. "Oh, how I've missed Butterbeer."

"Ditto," said Ginny from beside her as she took a sip. "I've missed Hogsmeade too. I'm so happy Dumbledore let us come."

"Is McGonagall here?" Harry asked, craning his neck to try and see if the head of their house was in the inn.

"I haven't seen her," replied Seamus, his cheeks pink from the alcohol. "But I reckon she'll be patrolling the place, looking out for any signs of danger."

"She is rather like an old, doting mother, isn't she?" Luna said, clutching the mug in her hands.

The chatter continued on and Elara found herself thanking the universe for giving her this group of friends.

Although she missed Freya, Indigo, Tracy and Stuart, at least some of the hole in her chest was taken up by the people around her now.

Her head jerked up as the bell on top of the front door chimed and Draco strode in, followed by Pansy, Nott and Zabini.

The mug nearly slipped out of Elara's hands. She hadn't seen them on the way to Hogsmeade and had assumed they'd all stayed back. They must have been in a carriage behind hers.

Draco's eyes swept over the inn - she wondered if he was looking for her. When they landed on her and took in her company, he didn't so much as let a muscle twitch in his face. Instead, he led his friends to a nearby table.

"You alright, Elara?" Harry glanced at her.

"Yeah... Yeah." She took another sip of her Butterbeer.

"I hope the new year is better than the last," Ron was saying, a Butterbeer mustache on his upper lip. "I really didn't think we'd be studying this much in our sixth year."

"Wait till seventh," said Fred and George in unison. Ron shot them a look.

"So who's going to be everyone's New Year's kiss?" Luna asked, her tone dreamy. She looked between each of their faces.

"I think I know mine," Fred said, casting a look over at Angelina who was sat at a table close to them.

"Gross," George made a face. "I'm going into this year without a kiss unfortunately, seeing that Elara's sister isn't here."

Elara choked on her Butterbeer. "George!" she gasped out as Ginny patted her on the back.

"What?"

Elara sent him a glare in jest but her eyes suddenly snapped to a movement at Draco's table.

Her friends continued their chatter about New Year's kisses as Elara watched Draco move towards the back door, slipping out of it and into the night.

"Any of you want these toffees I got from Honeydukes?" Dean was offering.

Elara set down her mug on the table. She shouldn't - but she wanted to - but she shouldn't. Later, she'd blame it on the fact that Ginny and Harry wouldn't stop sending pining looks at each other from across her; it was the only reason she wanted to leave.

She heard herself say, "I'll be right back," and then she was pushing herself up and her feet were taking her out the back door.

Her friends barely paid attention, too wrapped up in their conversations, toffees and Butterbeers.

The cold air hit her hard as she stepped out and she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her coat, looking around.

The backdoor of the Three Broomsticks opened up into an expanse of ground, much like a backyard. The edges dropped down into small slopes, leading to a vast forest of pine trees on all three sides.

Elara's footsteps were softened by the snow as she made her way towards where Draco was standing, his hands in his pockets, at the edge of one of these slopes, looking across the forest.

"Go back inside, Jacobs."

His words slowed Elara's pace but she kept moving forward. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing and the clock's about to strike twelve."

Draco scoffed, not taking his eyes off the forest below. "What do I care if the clock's about to strike twelve?"

"Don't you have to - hmm - fuck Pansy on every piece of furniture in the common room?" Elara said, dryly, coming to a stop next to him and gazing over the treetops. "I seem to remember you making that promise."

"And aren't you supposed to be in there, getting ready to kiss Potter?" Draco snarled, his tone cold, as he jerked his head back towards the inn.

Elara rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, definitely. I think I'll snog him right after he snogs Ginny."

"By all means. Don't let me stop you." Sarcasm dripped off his tongue and Elara turned on him, her agitation finally breaking through.

"What is  _ up  _ with you?" She tried to ignore the fact that this was the first conversation they'd had since he'd taken her in the bathroom that night. "You act like such a self-absorbed, pretentious prat -"

" _ Act?" _

"I've seen you!" she ground out, the wind whipping her hair into her face. It was starting to snow, small snowflakes drifting down around them. They caught on her eyelashes, on Draco's hair. "I see right through your  _ fucking  _ mask, Draco. You're not fooling me."

He barked out a humourless laugh. "Oh, save me the Hufflepuff bullshit." His silver eyes flashed, the moonlight illuminating his features, starkly. "How fucking  _ nice  _ of you to care about me. You and Saint  _ Potter  _ are a perfect fucking match."

Elara opened her mouth to retort then faltered. Why did he keep bringing up -

Merlin's beard. How had she not seen it before?

"Is  _ that  _ what this is about?" she said, disbelieving. "Wait, are you fucking  _ kidding  _ me right now?"

Draco looked back at her, his jaw clenched, flexing and relaxing his long, ringed fingers.

"You're  _ jealou _ s?" Elara forced out, her eyes widening at him. "You're fucking  _ jealous  _ of Harry?"

"What the fuck do I have to be jealous of?" Draco growled out but she didn't miss his hand balling into a fist for a split second. "Why the  _ fuck  _ would I be jealous of fucking  _ Potter?" _

"I don't know, you tell me!" Elara shook her head, disgusted.

Draco's withering look shot daggers at her heart. Elara forced herself not to look away.

"Because he gets all the attention?" she ploughed on, her voice harsh. "Is that it?"

Draco's face contorted into a sneer. "You're fucking delusional -"

"Or is it cause he's the fucking  _ Chosen One?  _ Your poor ego can't handle that, can it? Daddy and Mummy didn't give you enough attention growing up?" Elara didn't know where all this fury was coming from all of a sudden but she wanted nothing more than to unleash it.

Draco gritted his teeth, the wind breezing through his hair. "Shut the fuck up, Jacobs - "

"Or do you have some hidden crush on Ginny Weasley?" she spat out at him. "Harry take the girl you love? Is that why you bully him so much?"

She could see how quickly he was losing control. It was in the clench in his jaw, the flexing of his fingers.

He was a blade carved from the roughest stone, covered with the most gorgeous sheath.

Beautiful - but deadly.

"I said,  _ shut the fuck  _ -"

"Or is it because he has an actual heart and you just can't fucking  _ fathom  _ how anybody could be a  _ good  _ person -"

The breath was knocked out of her as Draco cleared the distance between them in two steps and wrapped his hand around her throat.

The jolt startled her and she tried to take a step back but he held her there, his gaze murderous, his rings biting into her skin so hard she knew they'd leave imprints.

It took her a moment to realise he was speaking.

"You," he growled, his breath ghosting her face. His eyes were so dark, they were almost black. She could feel him trembling with rage. " _ You.  _ He fucking has  _ you." _

Elara's legs nearly gave out from underneath her.

"Out of all the things you fucking listed, you'll never realise that the only thing that I'm fucking  _ jealous  _ of is the fact that he has  _ you _ ," Draco hissed, his eyes flashing. His words were a knife's edge, cutting into Elara with every syllable.

Elara's heart was going at such a speed, she was sure she was about to have a heart attack.

"And as you so nicely pointed out," Draco spat, hate swirling in his irises, "I don't know  _ how  _ to be good." He released her, shoving her back in the process and she stumbled but caught herself, her eyes wide, cheeks pink from the cold. "And for that very reason, you and Potter are a perfect  _ fucking _ match."

Elara's lungs worked overtime for oxygen. Her head was still reeling and she realised her hands were shaking as she brought one up to gingerly touch her throat where his hand had been moments before.

What was she supposed to say?

" _ Ten!" _

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the chorus that erupted from the inn behind them.

" _ Nine!" _

"Go back inside, Jacobs," Draco bit out. "The  _ fucking Chosen One  _ will be waiting for you."

" _ Eight!" _

Elara's blood rushed in her ears. How  _ stupid  _ must he be to think -

" _ Seven!" _

She didn't know what to say, what to do. Time was passing too fast.

" _ Six!" _

Her friends would come looking for her. If they caught her with Malfoy, they'd be suspicious.

" _ Five!" _

Draco was looking at her, his jaw tight, mouth taut.

" _ Four!" _

The look in his eyes was one she wouldn't forget. Tragic and haunted and devastating.

" _ Three!" _

"Did you not hear what I said?" Draco demanded, surveying her with those intense silver eyes, but his tone lacked ice. "I said, go back inside -"

" _ Two!" _

Elara couldn't stop herself. She was breaking every rule she'd ever had, every promise she'd ever made to herself.

But Draco had always been one to test her limits.

"You're the chosen one for me."

Her voice was quiet and for a second, she was scared it would be lost in the wind. She didn't think she could gather the courage to say it again.

But then she saw the shock spreading across Draco's face, the most emotion she'd ever seen from him.

" _ One!" _

All she saw was snowflakes glittering in messy white-blond hair and moonlit silver eyes staring at her, before she stepped forward and pulled him down to her.

Then, she slanted her mouth against his and kissed him.

  
  



	21. twenty one

ELARA DIDN'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE.

But the way Draco was kissing her, she didn't know if she could stop herself if it came to it.

When her lips first met his, he still hadn't recovered from his shock at her statement and had wrenched his hands from his pockets, grasping onto her waist, to prevent himself from falling over due to the momentum of her pulling her down to him.

His hands rested there for a moment, unsure, his lips against hers as she kissed him.

Elara should have been thinking about how he wasn't kissing her back, how she'd feel humiliated beyond belief if he pushed her away.

But the only thing on her mind was how delightfully smooth his skin was under her fingertips, how soft his lips were, how he smelled like green apples and parchment and snow.

And then he was kissing her back - but it wasn't what Elara had been expecting.

Everytime they'd kissed before, it was all teeth and tongue and groping. It had always been fueled by pure lust and they had always been pushed for time.

But the slow, gentle way Draco kissed her now was something she'd never experienced before.

Her hands clutched either side of his face, his mouth so soft against hers she felt her nerves tingle, and then he moved his hands from her waist, bringing them up to grasp her wrists and pull them away from his face.

Elara's heart thudded to what seemed like a stop and she could already feel the panic solidifying in her chest. He was pulling away, he was going to pull away and snap at her and say things that would hurt her -

His hands dropped hers and moved to rest on either side of her neck, right below her jaw, his fingers settling behind her ear as his thumb dragged over her cheekbones.

Elara released a breath of relief against his mouth. He had just been trying to get closer to her.

At this angle, he could tilt her head up and kiss her harder - still slow and sensual, enough to make the butterflies in Elara's stomach multiply and go wild.

His hair brushed against her forehead as he pulled back an inch, their breaths coming out in wisps in the freezing air and mixing.

Elara's heart pounded in her chest as she gazed up at him, her fingers still entangled in the front of his coat.

The snowflakes in his hair glittered under the moonlight, his eyes a kaleidoscope of blues and silvers, his expression unreadable.

"Draco..."

He didn't let her finish, instead dipping his head to press his mouth to hers once again and she melted into him, sliding her arms up and locking her wrists behind his neck.

His tongue dragged across her lip and she shivered but not due to the cold weather.

There wasn't anything sexual about this - it was all pure and slow and sensual. Elara didn't think she'd ever felt better than she did in that moment.

The snow continued to fall around them, the pine trees swaying in the breeze, their leaves rustling against each other, in a song Elara would replay in her head a million times over when she thought about this moment later.

Elara's stomach flipped as Draco's thumbs caressed her cheekbones, his rings wonderfully cool against her skin.

He pulled back again, letting them breathe only for a moment, before nudging her head to the side once more, lips meeting hers so deliciously she keened into his mouth.

He let out a breathless laugh against her lips, pulled back again.

His hair, damp from the snow, fell over his forehead as he tilted his head down to look at her, his eyes leaving hers to rest on a strand of hair that had fallen into her face.

She felt his fingers move to tuck it behind her ear and even such a casual movement made her putty in his hands.

She wanted more. Why had he stopped? She didn't want to stop. She wanted to kiss him for days straight. She didn't think she'd ever get enough.

She couldn't form a single coherent thought that didn't involve kissing Draco and got rid of her problem by pushing up onto her tiptoes, simultaneously tugging him down, to kiss him again, breathing out a satisfied sigh against him as she did so.

His hands left her face to rest on her lower back, pulling her middle to his, and she would've keeled over backward if he hadn't steadied her.

She could do this forever. She wanted to. Could she make a kissing pact with him? Only kisses. For the rest of her life.

"Elara," he mumbled and electricity shot down her spine at the sound of her name falling from those  _ perfect  _ lips. "Elara -"

"Where  _ is  _ she?"

Elara gasped, pulling away, her eyes flying open and Draco was untangling himself from her in an instant, stepping back.

She stared at him as he backed away and flushed when she realised her lips were swollen and red.

"Elara, is that you?" It was Harry, squinting from the back door of the Three Broomsticks, trying to see through the darkness. Somehow, in his drunkenness, he'd lost his glasses.

Elara couldn't bring herself to glance at Draco again and instead, tried her best to steady her breathing.

The sudden lack of warmth made her shiver - Draco had been so warm.

Her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She wanted to look at Draco, wanted to see whether he was as stunned as she was at what had just transpired.

But the fear of seeing regret and disgust on his face overcame her and she turned and trudged towards Harry before someone else joined him and saw them. "Just needed some air, Harry. I'm coming."

When Harry reached out and wrapped his arm around her as she stepped through the door, she could feel Draco's eyes burning into her back and touched her lips, smiling, fondly.

|

"Catch, Ron!"

Ron glanced up from his plate of food at Elara's voice and caught the strawberry she chucked at him in his mouth, easily. "Blimey, Elara, you scared the living daylight out of me."

She giggled, flopping down opposite him at the Gryffindor table. "I thought it was a befitting way to start the new year."

He smiled with a shake of his head and Elara caught Hermione's eye from where she was sitting next to Ron.

But this time, there was no animosity in Hermione's gaze. There hadn't been since last night.

It was obvious who had been Ron's New Year's kiss.

Elara had walked back into the Three Broomsticks with Harry and seen Hermione and Ron wrapped up in each other's arms, laughing at something George was saying.

And a while later, when McGonagall finally showed up to announce that they were leaving, Hermione had reached out and squeezed Elara's hand, mumbling an apology.

Elara had thought it was just the alcohol and had expected the other witch to go back to disliking her. But the smile she gave Elara this morning proved otherwise.

"God, I've got such a terrible hangover. It's unbearable," Seamus groaned from beside Elara, dropping his head down onto the table with a thud. The cutlery clinked.

"We've got something for you then." Fred and George appeared behind him, clapping him on the shoulders. "A Be-Gone-Hangover Potion -"

Seamus made a noise akin to a snarl and the twins retreated. "Right. Maybe another time."

"It's a shame classes start soon," Ginny said but Elara tuned her voice out as Draco strode into the Great Hall, followed by Pansy.

Elara's fingers clenched around the strawberry in her hand at the sight of the pretty Slytherin witch. Draco hadn't been the only one who was jealous.

_ Fucking hell. Is your self-esteem that low, Elara? _

She scolded herself internally but all thoughts were wiped from her brain when Draco met her eyes, noticing her staring.

He was too far for her to read him but she saw his right hand flex. That same hand had been pushing her hair behind her ear last night, had been caressing her face -

Draco turned away as Pansy tugged on his arm, leading him to the Slytherin table.

Elara's heart rate slowed.

"Oh, look! The owls are coming in," Hermione exclaimed as the sound of flapping wings filled the Great Hall.

Elara winced. She knew what was coming. She'd been glad that the owls had been laid off for Christmas so no mail had been coming into the castle.

But now -

The Howler she got was  _ not  _ pleasant.

Elara sat in ashamed silence, poking her breakfast with a fork, as the Howler unleashed all of her parents' wrath on her.

"... _ How dare you, Elara Jacobs... Broke our hearts...Amelia will never forgive you... And without our permission!... We have good mind to pull you out of that school - don't think you'll get out of this...Wait till you get home, you insolent witch -" _

The worst part was that Elara knew Draco could hear it too. But just the thought of him was enough to put a smile on her face - even while her parents were yelling at her through a letter.

When the torture was finally over, Elara breathed a sigh of relief.

"God, do I know how that feels," Ron mumbled, scooping another spoon of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

Hermione laid her head on his shoulder with a smile. "I remember that. Second year."

"So do I," snorted Elara, sending a look at Seamus who was still giggling at her Howler. "You stole a car or something?"

"Let's just not talk about it."

|

_ Dear Ellie, _

_ Don't believe anything Mum and Dad said to you in that Howler. I'm not mad at you for staying at Hogwarts (I would too) and I'll get Mum and Dad to calm down about it. _

_ Freya's been sticking up for you too - I think she feels guilty. _

_ But guess what? Zoe's pregnant! We're going to be aunts! _

_ Isaac said they don't know if it's a boy or girl yet (I'm secretly hoping for a girl. I think boys are yucky.) _

_ Anyway, Mum's yelling at me to come down for dinner so I must go. _

_ Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. The doctors said I'm not sick anymore! Mumblemumps was terrible, I hope I never get it again. _

_ But you know that that means! I'm coming to Hogwarts! Freya is helping me pack my trunk. _

_ I'll have missed a term but they said I can give the exams and if I pass, I'll be sorted. Mum's been teaching me. _

_ I do hope I'm in Ravenclaw like you. _

_ Anyway, Mum's coming up here to drag me down, I reckon! Gotta split! _

_ Lots and lots of love and kisses _ ,

_ Amelia _

Elara smiled and folded up the letter, tucking it into the pocket of her jeans. Her little sister's messy handwriting had warmed her heart.

Amelia had received her letter from Hogwarts a year earlier than most and had been devastated when the doctors had told her she wouldn't be able to attend the first term of Hogwarts.

Elara remembered her sister's big teary blue eyes as she watched Elara and Freya leave for the train station.

"Oi, El!" George Weasley flopped down next to her on the sofa where she was sitting. The library was empty around them. "I've been looking for you. Need your help."

"What's up?" Elara asked, sinking further into the warmth of the sofa. There was a blizzard raging on outside today.

"Well, you see," George started, "I'm in need of a matchmaker - a real Cupid, if you will." He shot her a glance. "Did I use that right?"

Elara giggled. "Yes, George. I'm surprised you know about Cupid."

"Just a phrase Dad used once," the redhead answered before rushing to continue. "So - I need help on how to ask your demon of a sister out. You know, as my girlfriend."

Elara fake gagged and George whacked her, lightly, on the back of the head. "Oh, shut it, you."

"Well, honestly," Elara said after a moment, "the best way with Freya is to be as upfront as possible. She won't understand any hints you throw at her. So you just have to - ask her, really."

"Give it to her straight?"

Elara crinkled her nose at the innuendo. "Well - yes. Tell her you like her and want her to be your girlfriend."

"That's it? No long rambles about how I see the stars in her eyes and worship the ground she spits on?"

It was Elara's turn to hit him.

He laughed, ducking. "Alright then. I guess all I have to do is actually find her. Golly, why'd she have to go back for the holidays?" He made a face.

Elara smiled, settling back in next to him and pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "Trust me, I know she misses you."

"I bet she does," George said, cheerfully. After a moment, he went on, "So how was your New Year's kiss with Malfoy?"

Elara was jerking upright before she could tell herself to play it cool. She stared at George, her heart suddenly loud in her ears.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," chided the Weasley, giving her a smile. "We all love forbidden romances."

"How did you -"

"I  _ was  _ the only one without a New Year's kiss, remember?" he reminded her, propping an arm behind his head.

Elara wondered how he was being so casual.

"Fred had Angelina, Harry had Ginny, Ron had Hermione, and obviously Seamus and Dean. Even Luna snogged one of the Hufflepuff girls. I was under the false impression that it'd be just you and I, making a toast or something." He wiggled his eyebrows. "But instead, you disappear and when I take a peek out the backdoor, guess who you're snogging!"

Elara clamped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, George -"

"I won't tell anyone, crikey, don't look so scared!" He nudged her, playfully. "But I  _ do  _ expect you to spill all the details. You and  _ Malfoy?  _ That's more unlikely than Freya and I."

Elara's heart settled a bit in her chest. "It's not - We're not  _ together.  _ It's just -"

"Oh, no. Don't tell me. You've been  _ shagging  _ Draco Malfoy?"

Elara's face reddened. "It just happened! It wasn't like I made a conscious decision -"

"Lies. We both know you made a conscious decision." He sent her a pointed look. " _ Many  _ conscious decisions, I'm assuming."

Elara couldn't have gotten any more embarrassed.

"Harry will have your head."

"I'm well aware," Elara sighed as George wrapped an arm around her and pulled him to her, his free hand ruffling her hair.

She groaned and batted at his hands.

"Well, I don't know who I want to be more," George said, teasingly. "Him cause he's shagging you or you because you're shagging  _ Malfoy." _

Elara rolled her eyes but laughed at the joke. "Really, George?"

"What? He's an attractive bloke, even if he is an absolute arse - Ow!"

She'd whacked him again.

"Alright, alright," George said in surrender. "I won't tell anybody, don't worry."

"You don't..." Elara's voice was quiet. "You don't think I'm untrustworthy, do you?"

George stared at her. "What, for shagging Malfoy? Why would I? It's not like you're in love with him. I know if he does anything suspicious, you'd cut all ties with him and come tell Harry immediately. Especially if it's something to do with old Lord Voldy up there."

"Draco wouldn't -"

"He would. Did you forget his Dad is a Death Eater? Blimey, he must be  _ really  _ good -"

Elara raised her hand and he shrank back, laughing. "Okay, okay! C'mon, we're going to be late. Hermione will probably use the Cruciatus Curse on us if we are."

In the Room of Requirement, during the first session since the kiss, Elara was able to cast her first Patronus.

The memory had been an easy one to think of.

  
  



	22. twenty two

DRACO NEVER SHOWED UP.

Elara tried to ignore the wrenching feeling in her chest and climbed to her feet from where she'd been sitting against the wall.

The Astronomy Tower was cold and dreary today. There were thick clouds on the horizon.

Had he not gotten her note?

No. It was impossible. She'd slipped it into the pocket of his coat where his wand was as she passed by him. He had to have seen it.

But it had already been an hour and he hadn't turned up.

It was obvious he wasn't coming.

Elara headed down the staircase, hurrying through the cold to get back to the common room.

She'd share a packet of Chocolate Frogs with Luna in front of the fire, like they had last night, and play cards while the storm raged through the night.

Maybe he was busy.

But when he didn't show up at the Astronomy Tower the next four days after that, Elara's suspicions were confirmed.

He didn't want to see her.

She would've still given him the benefit of doubt if she hadn't pressed a note into his hand as she brushed by him in one of the dungeon corridors. There was no way he hadn't read it.

So he was avoiding her.

Elara had expected it. She wasn't delusional enough to think Draco would show up with flowers outside the Ravenclaw common room the morning after they kissed and sweep her into his arms, beaming.

But she'd hardly expected  _ such  _ a cold shoulder.

Draco Malfoy would never stop surprising her, it seemed.

|

_ "Ellie!" _

Elara let out a 'humph' as a small mass of frizzy dark hair and over-sized robes collided into her middle. "Ouch! Amelia!"

Her younger sister pulled back, her bright blue eyes shining. "I've missed you so much!"

Elara pulled them both away from the hustle and bustle of all the students returning to Hogwarts, ready for the second term. The noise was almost deafening.

"I've missed you too, Ames," Elara smiled down and tucked her sister's wild hair behind her ears. "Where's Freya?"

"Right here."

Elara glanced up, locking eyes with her elder sister's caramel ones. She was standing in front of them, clutching a small bag, her expression nervous. Her golden hair was pulled back into a long braid, giving her a sterner look.

"Hey," breathed Elara, unsure what to say. But then Freya was attacking her, pulling her into a tight hug, heedless of how the breath was knocked out of Amelia as she was sandwiched between her two elder sisters.

"I missed you so much." Freya sounded close to crying. "I'm sorry I was such a prat before I left. Christmas wasn't the same without you."

Elara hugged her back, equally tightly. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. "

"Get  _ off!"  _ Amelia was shoving them both away, glaring up at them in which she thought must've been a knee-knocking look. Instead, she looked vaguely like a house elf. "Let me breathe!"

"Well, you're definitely not going to be in Hufflepuff with  _ that  _ attitude," Freya teased, tugging on a strand of Amelia's hair.

Amelia stuck out her tongue. "I don't  _ want  _ to be, anyway!"

"Yikes," Elara said, pretending to whisper to Freya. "She might be in Slytherin, this one."

Amelia turned faintly green.

"I've heard Slytherin is great," Elara told her, noting her reaction. "You needn't look so worried."

"But all the... _ bad _ people were in Slytherin," Amelia whispered, glancing around her as if she expected one to come out and kidnap her.

Elara crouched down, fixed her sister's collar. "And alot of good people are too. Plus, is Isaac a bad person?"

Amelia shook her head, vigorously.

"And wasn't he in Slytherin?"

The youngest Jacobs nodded with fervour.

"Then, I don't think you should be worried. Do you?"

Amelia gave a reluctant shake of her head.

"Don't worry your little head about it just yet, Amy," Freya put in, ruffling her hair. Amelia jerked away with a scowl. "You still need to pass all the exams you've missed before you're Sorted."

"Where will she be staying till then?" Elara asked as a group of first years pushed past them. Amelia watched them with wide eyes. They were all taller than her.

"With one of us," Freya answered, grabbing onto the back of Amelia's robes to prevent her from being swept away in the crowd. "I told her she'd be more comfortable in Hufflepuff with me but -"

"I want to be with Ellie," Amelia cut in with a pout. "Please." She dragged the word out, flashing those big blue eyes at her sisters.

Elara smiled with a shake of her head and put her arm around her little sister's shoulders. "Alright. My bed is big enough for the both of us."

Amelia beamed.

|

Classes began the next day and Elara, wistfully, mourned the end of the holidays.

Freya had told her their parents had been furious when Freya had showed up at the train station without Elara and Elara didn't want to push her luck any further.

So she buried herself in her work once more and the first two weeks of the new term whizzed by.

Elara cornered Draco during the third week - mostly due to Snape's insistence on fixing whatever had happened between the two of them.

"Are you sure you aren't secretly trying to set Draco and I up, Professor?" Elara had said, slyly.

Snape had grimaced. "Please. I think I have better things to do than take an interest in -"

"I'll send you the wedding invitation."

_ "Jacobs!" _

Elara skipped through the conversation in her head as she climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower, making sure her footsteps were light and soundless.

Draco was in his usual place, gripping the edge of the railing, his rings catching the moonlight and bouncing it off onto the walls.

"Is there a reason you've been avoiding me?"

Draco's shoulders tensed as soon as he heard her voice but he didn't turn around fully - only turned his head to the side as she approached him, slowly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a low voice, his fingers tightening over the railing.

"What, you thought I wouldn't know to find you here?" Elara inquired, keeping her tone calm.

"It's almost one in the morning."

"I realised." She took another step closer. "I asked you a question."

Draco didn't look at her.

"So? Is there a reason you've been avoiding me? Or did you just  _ feel _ like playing with me?"

Draco looked at her from under his eyelashes. "I didn't realise there was anything there -"

"Don't." Elara said, harshly, cutting him off, "Don't you dare say there was nothing to talk about."

Draco stopped short.

Elara steadied herself. She was supposed to stay calm. If she showed her anger, he would lash out and then retreat into himself and she wouldn't be able to get to him for a while.

"Look." She sounded a lot more calm than she felt. "I'm not asking for anything. I just thought we should talk about it -"

"Talk about  _ what?"  _ Draco snapped and Elara dug her nails into her palms. He was so bloody - "It was just a fucking  _ kiss _ ."

Elara's gut twisted and she quickly backtracked. "I didn't say anything about the kiss -"

"Oh, don't play  _ dumb,"  _ Draco scoffed. "We both know that's what you wanted to talk about. So I'm telling you." His fingers released the railing, curled around it again. "It was just a kiss."

Elara didn't take her eyes off him. He was stoic - bored even.

"It wasn't just a kiss," she forced out, quietly. "You  _ know  _ it wasn't just a kiss. I refuse to believe that -"

She stopped short, thinking back to their kiss a month ago. No. She hadn't been hallucinating. He'd been gentle and soft, his kisses sweet and sensual.

That wasn't the way Draco Malfoy kissed.

"Refuse to believe what?" Draco demanded, making a sound close to a scoff. "That it was  _ just  _ a kiss to me?"

Elara's hands shook. "You  _ know  _ it was different."

"How so?" he drawled, bored. A lazy smirk plastered itself on his features. "Felt the same to me."

Elara flinched like she'd been hexed.

"Felt like any other kiss, with any other girl -"

All her daydreams, her constant revisiting of the memory in her head, the one that had helped her cast her first Patronus...

He was shattering it all.

Because in her delusion, she'd thought he'd felt it too. She thought it had meant something to him too. She thought, to her  _ utter  _ stupidity, that he'd be thinking of her, day and night, too. Like she was of him.

But she still remembered the sensation of his thumbs grazing over her cheekbones, the breathless laugh against her mouth, the feeling of his fingers pushing her hair behind her ear.

Moonlit eyes and messy snow-flaked hair.

"No," she bit out and Draco raised his eyebrows at her, that infuriating smirk still on his face. She wanted to slap it off him. "No. You can't convince me you felt nothing. I  _ know  _ you did -"

" _ Felt?"  _ Draco laughed and it was a cold laugh that sent ice shooting through Elara's blood. "Fucking hell, Jacobs. Don't tell me you  _ feel  _ something for me."

Elara couldn't stop the humiliation from heating her face. She stared at the ground.

"Oh, that's precious," Draco sneered and she wished she'd never come looking for him. "Have a crush on me now, do you?"

Elara clenched her teeth together. "I'm just saying it wasn't just a kiss and your little games don't fool me -"

"It was just a fucking  _ kiss _ ," Draco hissed, pushing off the railing in frustration and turning on her. "People kiss all the  _ fucking  _ time -"

"Not us -"

"We've had our fair share -"

"Not like  _ that!"  _ Elara exclaimed, her heart racing. "Stop trying to fucking convince me that that was just a normal -"

"It  _ was  _ a normal -"

"No, it wasn't!" she almost screamed. "It wasn't. You  _ know  _ it wasn't, Draco. You know it was different."

One second, Draco was looking at her like he was going to draw his wand and  _ Avada Kedavra  _ her and the next, he was kissing her, so ferociously Elara gasped into his mouth.

One hand rested low on her back, the other knotting into her hair and yanked her head back so he could kiss her harder.

Their teeth clashed and Elara grabbed onto the front of his shirt to keep her balance as he pressed himself flush against her, backing her up against the wall.

His teeth sank into her bottom lip and she made a sound of pain mixed with pleasure in the back of her throat before he tugged and then released it.

His kiss was hard and searing and hot. It sent a familiar fizzle down to Elara's core and she let out a soft breathless moan into his mouth when his tongue met hers.

_ "Just,"  _ Draco was still kissing her, his hand tightening in her hair when she tried to pull back. He wrenched away from her a second later, moving to her neck and biting down, roughly, on the skin there. "A  _ fucking,"  _ He ran his tongue over the sensitive area, his hand fisting the back of her robes to prevent her from moving. " _ Kiss." _

With that, he shoved himself away, quickly taking three steps back to put distance between them.

Elara stared at him, wide-eyed, her lips aching. His chest was heaving as much as hers, his expression one of cold indifference.

She didn't think she could form words but apparently, her mouth thought otherwise. " _ No." _

Draco stared at her, his lips red. " _ What _ ?"

"No," she said, furiously, stepping forward, off the wall. "You don't get to fucking do that. You don't get to  _ fucking  _ ruin this for me."

Draco didn't drag his eyes away from her, shoulders still moving up and down to catch his breath.

But he didn't move away when Elara came to a stop right in front of him, gazing defiantly up at him."You don't scare me, Draco. You don't fucking fool me."

She reached up, her fingers wrapping around his tie. She pushed herself onto her tiptoes, her mouth an inch from his.

"I see you," she said, so quietly it was a whisper against his lips. "I see you and I'm not afraid."

She tilted her head to the side, inching closer and caught the conflict in Draco's stony eyes.

Her heart thrumming in her chest, she ghosted her lips over his - so gentle it could have never happened.

Draco didn't move a muscle.

"I'm not scared of you," Elara breathed, her fingers still around his tie. "I meant what I said. You're the chosen one for me."

She pressed her mouth, firmly, against his, making sure to keep it gentle.

He was  _ not  _ going to ruin her Patronus-inducing memory for her.

Elara could feel the hesitation and knew she'd caught him off guard. He'd expected her to explode on him, to scream and cry and maybe hex him.

He certainly was  _ not  _ expecting the closest to a confession he'd ever get.

Elara pulled away a fraction, met his eyes, tried to convey everything she felt. Which was difficult, seeing as she hadn't even sorted it out herself.

For the first time, Draco seemed speechless and at a loss. His hands stayed by his sides, a battle raging on behind his eyes.

Then she kissed him again, slowly and sweetly, and it was like a dam in him broke.

He moved his hand into her hair again, this time to cradle the back of her head, and tilt her mouth more firmly against his.

Elara was sure she was going to faint. She finally let go of his tie, sliding her hands over his strong shoulders.

"Stop," Draco let out a breathless groan against her mouth, "Stop  _ fucking -"  _ Elara's fingers tugged, gently, at strands of his hair at the base of his neck in an effort to get him to shut up. "Stop doing this to me, Elara."

He had barely completed the sentence before he was connecting their lips again and she felt him try to take control.

She didn't let him. She knew where he wanted to take it. She was going to prove to him it was different.

She moved her hands to the planes of his face, giving him a lingering kiss and Draco made a sound akin to a sigh into her mouth. She could still feel the conflict within him.

This kiss was the stark opposite of the one a few minutes earlier. Elara wasn't going to give in, wasn't going to let him fool her into thinking it had meant nothing.

She was done giving in.

"You're so -" He pulled away and her heart thudded but she didn't give him time to overthink it, instead pulling him down to her again. " _ Fuck."  _ He hummed against her lips, obviously as addicted as she was. "You're so fucking  _ infuriating." _

She realised she probably wasn't the only one out of the two of them who had never been kissed like this before - save for the time on New Year's.

Draco had always been the more experienced one out of them - she'd assumed he'd already done everything.

But not this. From the way he hesitated, from the way his hands were unsure but gentle, from the way his mouth barely grazed against hers, Elara realised she just hadn't noticed it before.

Draco Malfoy had never been loved.

  
  



	23. twenty three

"I BET SHE'LL BE IN RAVENCLAW."

Tracy leaned over to whisper to Elara as they sat in the Great Hall, watching the new first years be sorted.

Amelia was in the middle of the line, swallowed up in her oversized robes, fidgeting from foot to foot. Every once in a while, she'd glance over at Elara who would send her a reassuring smile.

"No," Elara said with a soft smile as she looked at Tracy. "She wants to be but I know her. There's only one house perfect for her."

Indigo groaned. "Oh, don't tell me it's going to be -"

"Hufflepuff!" Another first year scrambled down from the stool, flushing red as the Hufflepuff table erupted into claps.

"One more for Freya," said Elara, dryly. "Is it just me or are there more Hufflepuffs than usual this year? Even in the first term - "

"Slytherin!"

"Yikes," muttered Indigo under her breath and Elara shot her a look. "What? Not all Slytherins but -"

"Amelia's next!" Tracy said, excitedly, grabbing Elara's hand.

Elara watched as her younger sister took shaky steps up to the stool and climbed onto it. Her hands were trembling.

Elara could picture the thoughts running through her sister's head.

She'd be begging to be in Ravenclaw. Like Elara.

Elara remembered how terrified she'd felt all those years ago. She knew Amelia was probably feeling ten times worse.

The Sorting Hat was on her head now.

Elara gave Amelia an encouraging smile.

_ "Gryffindor!" _

The Gryffindor table came to life with yells and whistles but Elara saw Amelia's face fall.

Maybe Elara should've warned her beforehand.

Her little sister slid off the stool, her shoulders drooping, as she trudged over to the Gryffindor table.

Elara caught Fred and George pulling her to sit between them, messing up her hair and squeezing her shoulders.

She was in good hands. Elara was relieved. Amelia would be okay in Gryffindor.

She hated to think what would happen if she'd been in Slytherin, under Draco's gaze.

The tall, blond boy in question looked at Elara from the next table and raised his eyebrows, eyes flicking back to Amelia, as if to say ' _ Really? Not another one.' _

Elara gave him a look and he shook his head, looking away.

"Gryffindor!" Tracy gasped. "Oh, she's going to be so disappointed."

"She'll get used to it," Elara said, her eyes meeting Freya's who grinned at her.

"All four of you sorted into different houses," Indigo said, popping a slice of an apple into her mouth. "What a phenomenon. How did you guys get  _ so  _ different?"

Elara didn't reply but she was well aware of the answer.

Isaac, the first born. Forced to find his way on his own, lead his younger siblings, protect them. Slytherin.

Freya, second born. Had to make up for Isaac's harsh edges, retreated into her shell to counter Isaac's outspoken nature. Easily Hufflepuff.

Elara, third. Learned a bit of both from her two older siblings, learned wit and intelligence would make her stand out from them.

And then Amelia. The youngest, most overlooked of the batch. She knew she had to be brave to be able to stick out - especially with parents so strict. But she was also quick-witted and impulsive.

So obviously, Gryffindor.

"Congratulations, Ames!" Elara swept her sister into a tight hug as soon as dinner was over. "I always knew you were a Gryffindor."

"You're going to set her off again," Fred said, looking down at Amelia who was clinging to his arm with a scowl. "She's only spent the last half hour explaining how she's actually a Ravenclaw and it's all a big mistake."

"It's not fair!" Amelia wailed but Fred only rolled his eyes, scooping her up and putting her onto his shoulders.

"Oh, shut up, you," he chided, good-naturedly, giving Elara a wave goodbye as he and George headed to the Gryffindor common room.

Elara smiled after them.

Her baby sister was growing up.

|

"You wanted to talk?"

Elara's voice was curious as she approached Draco by the Great Lake.

He was standing on the shore, tossing a pebble in his hand before he whipped it across the surface of the water. It skipped five times.

"Yeah," he said, simply, but made no move to elaborate.

She stood next to him, knowing he'd take his time and wrapped her coat tighter around herself, watching the moonlight bounce off the waves.

She wondered if they'd ever be able to meet in daylight.

Draco didn't speak for several minutes, just kept skipping stones.

Elara joined in after a while, looking for any movement to warm her up.

"Astronomy Tower had third years," Draco finally said, his eyes following the stone as it left her hand. "Flick your wrist more."

"So that's why you wanted to meet out here in the freezing cold," Elara said, lightly, bending down to pick another pebble.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

The question was out of the blue. Elara's hand froze as it reached for a pebble.

"What?" she asked, softly, straightening.

His eyes were unreadable.

"Like get out of  _ here?"  _ She gestured around her, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. "Like Hogwarts?"

Draco nodded, slowly. His deft fingers tossed a small pebble into the air, caught it without looking.

Elara struggled to answer. The frigid wind brushed her face and she shivered. "We're going to leave next year anyway -"

"No." Draco flicked another stone over the surface of the water. "I mean - just for one night."

Elara's breath caught in her throat.

"Hypothetically speaking," Draco went on, picking up another stone, "if we could get out of this place and go to - Hogsmeade or - or Muggle London... Would you want to?"

The population of butterflies in Elara's stomach fluttered. "Like... together?"

Draco's nod was minute but she caught it.

"Well," she said, forcing herself to speak lest he back out. "Hypothetically speaking, we'd have to find a way to get to Hogsmeade."

Draco threw the stone, watched it skip six times. "And hypothetically speaking, I've found a way out."

Elara's palms were damp. "Hypothetically speaking, I'd need to know what it is so I know it doesn't involve any  _ Dark Magic."  _ Her tone was teasing.

"Hypothetically  _ speaking _ ," Draco replied, easily, "it only involves a Vanishing Cabinet."

"A Vanishing Cabinet?" Elara said, her brows furrowing. "Where? Don't you need a pair for that?"

Draco nodded. "Yeah." He handed her another stone, waited till she'd thrown it. "It's counterpart is in Hogsmeade. And from Hogsmeade, we could go..." He shrugged as if he was asking her to tea. "Anywhere, really."

"We'd need brooms."

"I can apparate."

"Oh." Elara could feel her heart beating, wildly, in her chest. "So where is this Vanishing Cabinet?"

"Room of Requirement," he answered and Elara's heart sank. If he caught Harry's training sessions like he had last year - "But it's broken."

"Broken?" Elara repeated, feeling even more disappointed. "So what was the point of this whole exercise if we can't even -"

"If something is broken, Elara," Draco said, squinting to see how many skips his stone had gone, "you fix it."

She faltered. "And how in Merlin are we going to fix a Vanishing Cabinet without anybody finding out?"

"The same way we fucked for a whole year without anyone finding out," Draco said, calmly, and Elara turned red. "You're resourceful. You'll find a way."

|

Elara did.

She snuck away the next night to meet Draco outside the Room of Requirement. She'd picked the time - as not to risk him bumping into Harry and her friends coming out of it.

The Vanishing Cabinet certainly didn't  _ look _ magical. Plain dark oak and simple doors. Elara half-expected to find robes stacked in there.

But it was obvious it was broken. There was no magical hum that most enchanted objects had. Elara couldn't feel even a trace of magic.

"This is going to be a lot of work," she said, looking up at the enormous cabinet.

"I'll make it worth your while," Draco said from behind her and the undertones in his voice made her shiver with pleasure.

She reached out, dragged her fingers across the wood. "I'll have to do a lot of reading. Maybe ask Hermione -"

"No." Draco's tone was harsh. "No one knows about this except us two. Granger is nosy as all hell and -"

"She's my friend."

"Bloody rotten taste you've got in friends then," Draco shot back then seemed to calm himself. "Don't tell anyone. I'll help you all you need."

Elara hesitated in agreeing, felt him step closer to her so he was right behind her.

He dropped his head, pressed a light kiss to her jaw and Elara's knees nearly gave out.

He seemed to realise and steadied her, his hands on her waist, before leaving another soft kiss on her neck.

"You can have anything you want," he murmured against her skin, beginning to leave a trail of kisses down her neck and along the curve of her shoulder. "Once we're out of this bloody castle, you can have anything your heart desires, Elara."

Elara's hand slid to his on her hip, felt the rings underneath her fingers. "Anything?" she breathed, her eyes fluttering shut as he continued to press his lips against her skin.

He hummed into her and she leaned back into him, releasing a shaky breath. "Anything," he whispered, his teeth closing around her skin before he soothed it with his tongue. It was a promise, sealed with a kiss. "Just let us get out of here first."

Elara could already see it. Visions of Draco and her, tangled up in the sheets, in some Muggle hotel, with all the time in the world. Ordering room service - maybe even going to a Muggle bar together. He'd hold her hand, wrap his arm around her waist, kiss her when other men glanced her way.

They could have all that - if she just repaired this Vanishing Cabinet.

It'd be risky - sneaking out of Hogwarts - but she was more than willing to take the risk.

"Okay," she whispered, still trying to collect her thoughts. Draco was inexplicably wrapped up in every single one of them. "Okay. I'll start reading tomorrow."

He left one last kiss on her jaw before he stepped back. "That's a good girl."

|

Elara returned to the common room and nearly went into cardiac arrest when she heard a noise from the midnight blue sofa in front of the fireplace.

Her mind was already pulling out excuses for her late night trip before she realised the sound was...  _ sobbing. _

Someone was sobbing.

She should've just kept going. She couldn't risk whoever it was finding out she'd been sneaking around. If they somehow found out about the Vanishing Cabinet -

No. The world did not revolve around Draco. And anyway, the chances were low.

So Elara, cautiously, approached the sofa, peering over the back to see a small figure, hunched over, shoulders shaking.

Elara recognised her as Lucy White, the second year Ravenclaw who had asked Elara if she'd been okay at the Opening Feast after Draco had practically dumped her.

She remembered Lucy's newly cut short auburn hair, remembered making some kind of comment.

"Lucy?"

The young girl jolted upright, hiccupping, and stared at Elara with wide saucer-like green eyes. "El-" She hiccupped again. "Elara!"

She was on her feet in a second, wiping her face, quickly, and fixing her nightgown. "I didn't - I didn't expect anybody to be -" Another hiccup. "Up."

Elara reached out, smoothed the young girl's silky hair. "It's alright. I wasn't sleeping." It wasn't a lie. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

Lucy let out a small sob, clamped her hands over her mouth, reddening to the tips of her ears. "It's nothing," she said, her voice muffled by her own hands. "I don't want to be a bother."

Elara tutted and guided Lucy back to the sofa, settling in next to her and wiping her tears with the sleeve of her robe. "It's okay, Luce. You can talk to me." She leaned in, conspiratorial- like. "I won't tell anyone. Promise."

Elara sent her a wink and was rewarded with a watery smile from the younger girl.

"It's just -" Lucy rubbed her sleeve under her nose, sniffing. "P-Professor McGonagall took my Thestral tears and - and -"

Elara waited, patiently, holding Lucy's hand.

"It took me so long to get them!" Lucy wailed, burying her face in Elara's robes. "I've been trying since last year and I only  _ just  _ managed to get them this evening and she - she  _ took  _ them!"

Elara let the young girl cry, smoothing her hair.

"And, on top of that -" Lucy pulled away, her tiny hands shaking. "On top of that, all my friends - they all found out I was a - a - my parents are both Muggles and they... they called me a -"

Elara gathered Lucy into her arms once more, squeezing her tight. "There is nothing wrong with you, Lucy. And your friends who called you those names are not your friends. They'll learn their mistakes as they grow older. You are no different from any other witch, understand?"

Lucy nodded against her neck.

"Don't ever think you're lesser than anyone," Elara said, firmly, pulling back to look into Lucy's eyes. "I think I know someone who needs a friend right now too. Would you be willing to meet them?"

Lucy nodded, eagerly.

"As for the Thestral tears," Elara continued, again gently brushing away the younger witch's tears, "there must be a good reason Professor McGonagall took them. You do know they're very dangerous if used incorrectly, right?"

Lucy nodded, reluctantly. "I just thought they were pretty! They're so glittery and silver -"

"I know," Elara cooed, softly. "But I think it's best McGonagall keeps them until you're old enough, okay?" She tucked Lucy's auburn hair behind her ears, smiling at her. "That way, you can have even more fun with them when you learn how to actually use them."

Lucy's lip trembled but she looked a bit more cheery. "O-Okay. Maybe you're right. I'll try not to be sad about it anymore."

"If you are, you can always come find me, alright?"

Lucy blushed crimson. "A-Alright." She sniffed then hiccuped but her tears finally stopped falling. "Who was the person you know who needed a friend?  _ I _ could really use one."

Elara grinned down at Lucy and ruffled her hair. "She's a hurricane, that one. I think you'll have lots of fun with her." With a twinkle in her eye, she whispered, "Her name's Amelia."

  
  



	24. twenty four

"I'M GOING TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT."

Elara groaned, burying her face in her hands, as she sat with her friends on the grass in the courtyard.

"Oh, come on," Cho teased, tossing a toffee to Ginny who caught it and began to undo the wrapper. "They're  _ cute _ ."

Ginny nearly choked on the toffee. "I'm afraid I'll have to agree with Elara on this one, Cho." She glanced over. "I'm not too fond of watching my brother  _ snog  _ \- "

"You lot are just jealous," Harry said, plopping down next to them. Hermione was close behind, dropping her book bag onto the grass. "George finally gets a girlfriend and you're not even going to let him kiss her?"

Elara crinkled her nose, her eyes drifting back to where George and Freya were sitting on the opposite side of the courtyard, his arm over her shoulders. "I would prefer if they didn't have to snog  _ in public. _ "

"Oh, yes, I do forget," Ron said with a cheeky smile. "Elara here does all her snogging behind  _ closed doors. _ "

The group cracked up and Elara shook her head, laughingly. "Unfortunately, I'm not getting  _ any  _ snogs, Weasley."

It was the truth; Draco and her had been too busy trying to repair the Vanishing Cabinet the last few weeks and with her studies and training sessions with both the Malfoy heir and Harry, she'd barely gotten time to be alone with him for long.

But there had been times.

Times when she'd catch him looking at her while she was reading, when he'd brush her hand. glance at her lips while she was talking, move a stray strand of hair behind her ear, when he'd sit closer than he had to as they poured over books in the library past curfew.

But nothing more. Elara figured he didn't want them to get distracted. He'd make up for it once they repaired the Vanishing Cabinet.

"I've got to head to the library," Elara told her friends, getting to her feet and stretching her arms above her head. "Got some work to do."

|

"I'm sure we're close," Elara told Draco, her eyes scanning the page of the enormous book in front of them, two days later.

It was almost three in the morning and if they were caught now, they'd be in some serious trouble.

But the Vanishing Cabinet couldn't wait.

Draco looked terrible. He had for the past week.

He was paler than ever, his silver eyes a stark contrast, ringed with dark circles. He had an almost permanent crease between his eyebrows - like he was constantly thinking of something that worried him.

Elara had even caught a slight tremor in his hand when he turned a page of the book.

She'd tried to ask but he had hushed her and submerged himself in another book. She guessed he was just frustrated with their task.

It would all be okay, she told herself. Once they fixed the Vanishing Cabinet, they'd get out of here and go enjoy a night in Hogsmeade together - maybe even London.

He'd be okay then.

Right now, they were both exhausted.

"I'll do more reading later," Elara said, quietly, reaching out to lay a hand on his. She could feel the muscles trembling underneath her fingers and her heart ached. "Draco, you're exhausted. Are you getting  _ any  _ sleep?"

Draco's mouth was a tight line. "I'm fine. I'd be better if I didn't have bloody  _ Potter  _ following me all over the place."

Elara frowned, removing her hand from his and placing it back in her lap. "Harry's following you?"

She said it even as she realised why. Harry was eternally suspicious of Draco - he probably thought he was up to something evil.

Draco passed a hand over his tired eyes. "Yeah. It's driving me fucking  _ insane." _

Elara chewed on her lower lip. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

She offered but knew she couldn't. If Harry suspected she was sympathising with Malfoy, he'd probably ask her to leave Dumbledore's Army.

"No." Draco let out a sound of exasperation. "I don't even like you talking to him as much as you do. You think I'm going to ask you to do  _ more _ of it?"

Elara rolled her eyes but couldn't help the unexplainable feeling that warmed her inside out. She usually hated it but - Draco made even possessiveness look good.

"Considering that I'm here at three in the morning, trying to help  _ you  _ repair a Vanishing Cabinet and not off with Harry somewhere," she scolded but her tone was light, "I think we can both agree that Harry is not a threat to -"

She stopped short.  _ To what? _

To us. That's what she'd been about to say. But was there even an  _ 'us'? _

"To you," she finished, hurriedly, turning back to the book. She felt Draco's eyes on her face and tried not to flush red like she usually did. "Right. So." She slammed the book shut. "I'll do some reading over the weekend, after we return from Hosgmeade."

The crease between Draco's eyebrows deepened. "Don't go."

"What?" Elara blinked, puzzled. The school was planning a trip to Hogsmeade for a day this weekend - she'd been excited to go drink some more Butterbeer. "Why?"

"Just - stay with me," Draco hummed, dragging his fingers up her arm. She was only wearing a thin sweater and it made her shiver. "Please? The common room will be empty. We can -"

She hushed him, quickly, but her stomach tightened. "Why aren't you going?"

Draco raised a lazy shoulder, a grin spreading across his face. Elara's heart fluttered. "I think I have better things to do, don't you think?"

He was on his feet then, pushing his chair back and pulling hers out, simulateneously.

Elara's breath hitched as he took her hand and guided her onto her feet, his eyes never leaving hers.

It was such an erotic look Elara almost passed out.

His mouth slanted against hers, needy, and she returned it with equal eagerness, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him down and closer.

Draco's hands left her waist to drop to the back of her thighs, grasping and lifting her up onto the edge of the table.

He tore his mouth from hers only to swipe the books they'd been reading onto the floor with a loud thud before pushing Elara further back onto the desk and she hissed as he joined their lips once more.

"Someone will hear us," she chided, breathless, as he pulled back to nudge her head to the side. His hot mouth drifted over the sensitive skin of her neck and Elara threw her head back to give him more space, her eyes fluttering shut in bliss.

"Good," Draco spoke against her skin, his breath warming her. His hand slid up to wrap around her throat and Elara clenched her legs around him, letting out a little gasp. "I hope they enjoy your moans as much as I do."

His words set every inch of Elara on fire and then she was moving her hands to his face, pulling him up from her neck to kiss him hard.

He didn't protest and instead, slid his hand between her thighs, applying just enough pressure over her jeans to get her to keen into his mouth.

He did it again and she moaned his name, gasping for breath, as he began to kiss down the curve of her jaw, his fingers moving to the zipper of her jeans.

"I'm going to bend you over this table and fuck you so hard," he breathed, his mouth searing on her skin, setting Elara's desire alight deep in her core. "You're going to beg me to stop."

Elara twisted her hands into his hair as he left love bites all over her neck. "I - highly doubt that -"

Draco smirked against her skin, pulling back. "Bet?"

In the darkness of the library, with just one lantern illuminating the room, he looked so ethereal she was sure she was dreaming.

Tousled, blond hair, needy silver eyes, his lips flushed red from all the kissing, sharp features softened in the dim lighting.

He was beautiful. She would always find him beautiful.

"Bet," she whispered back, meeting his eyes.

Draco pushed his hips against hers and she bit back a gasp as she felt him hard against her. "I expect you to put your money where your mouth is, Elara."

Elara's lips parted at the lust in his eyes. She was going to combust.

"Or better yet," Draco hummed, cupping her face with one hand and dragging his thumb across her lower lip. "You can put that pretty mouth to good use."

He accompanied his words by dipping his thumb into her mouth and she made a sensual sound in the back of her throat, swirling her tongue around it. His eyes darkened and his tongue ran across his lower lip, quickly.

He slid his thumb out of her mouth and began to trail his hand down her body, heading straight for her unzipped jeans.

Elara made to give a sarcastic reply but was cut off by the sound of the library door opening.

Draco froze, his eyes meeting hers, and she was shoving him back in a second, zipping up her jeans and jumping to the floor.

The footsteps were heading straight for them.

He pushed a hand through his hair as she grabbed the books from the floor, frantically, shoving them back into the nearest shelf.

He didn't bother to help, instead leaning against the bookshelf, crossing his arms over his chest and watching her. He was so relaxed, she almost chucked a book at his head.

She glared at him and he only raised an eyebrow at her, a smile playing on his lips before he said, loudly, "What are you doing here, Pansy?"

Elara froze, still facing him but feeling Pansy's presence as she came to a sudden halt behind her.

"Draco?" Pansy said, her voice weak. "Who's -"

Elara turned, slowly, to face the Slytherin girl.

"Elara?" Pansy asked, confused, her eyes flicking between Draco and Elara. "What -"

"She's helping me with the Vanishing Cabinet," Draco told her and Elara's stomach dropped. She glanced back at him, found him still wearing that infuriating smirk.

Pansy knew?

Some of Elara's excitement dimmed. So it hadn't been a secret. He'd told Pansy Parkinson - the girl he'd used to fuck around with.

_ Used to?  _ Elara didn't even know if he'd stopped.

As Pansy and Elara stared at each other, both of them equally surprised at the other's presence, Draco pushed off the bookshelf from behind Elara and stretched his arms over his head with a yawn. "It's late. I'm going to bed."

Elara stiffened as he brushed past her, barely sparing her a glance. She knew why - Pansy couldn't catch onto them - but it still annoyed her.

"Coming, Pans?" Draco twisted over his shoulder to ask as he walked by Pansy and the Slytherin witch nodded, still dumbfounded.

Elara gave her a small, awkward smile as she turned and followed Draco out.

Elara silently hoped Pansy hadn't noticed the marks on her neck in the dim lighting.

|

Draco had lied to her.

Elara was possibly going to use one of the Unforgivable Curses on him - she had yet to decide which one.

While she stayed behind from the Hogsmeade trip, he had broken his word and  _ gone. _

She had searched the entire castle for him and had only found out from Nearly Headless Nick that he had seen Draco and Blaise Zabini in the group leaving Hogwarts.

He had fucking  _ lied. _

Why? She didn't know. Why did Draco do any of the things he did?

She would never figure him out.

But she was definitely going to try to. Especially now as she stormed towards the Slytherin common room, not even caring about who saw her.

They'd returned a few hours ago from Hogsmeade - she had decided to give him a few hours to lull himself into a false feeling of safety before she confronted him.

Maybe if she caught him off-guard, he'd tell the truth.

"Oh, look at little miss go!"

It was Peeves cackling as he drifted beside her, dancing around her. "Malfoy is in trouble! Malfoy is in trouble!"

The poltergeist laughed, maniacally, sweeping up into the air and then coming straight down, brushing through her.

"Leave me alone, Peeves," Elara ground out, turning the corner.

"But you're going  _ entirely  _ the wrong way!" Peeves exclaimed, giddy. He giggled, flying circles around her. "Malfoy's not in the common room - no, no!"

Elara's steps slowed. "Where is he?"

"Poor Malfoy," Peeves cooed, a grin still on his face. "Poor baby Malfoy. On his own, c-c-crying!" He pouted and swerved through a wall with a cackle.

Elara's stomach twisted, dread rising in her like a wave. She took the next right, trying to follow Peeves, picking up her pace.

"Peeves! Stop!"

But the poltergeist just kept laughing, swerving left and right down the corridor, disappearing through the walls before reappearing every few seconds.

"Peeves!"

"Oooh, I got your attention, didn't I?" Peeves gasped, comically. He swooped over her head before diving down right into her face. Elara halted, sharply.

"Tell me," she breathed, irritated. "Tell me where he is."

"On his own," pouted Peeves once more. "All by himself - sobbing like a little boy!"

Elara's chest twisted, violently. " _Where_ _is he, Peeves?"_

Peeves grinned, wildly. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Elara clenched her teeth. If he was telling the truth, she would shatter.

The thought of Draco crying somewhere, alone... She wondered if this was what the Cruciatus Curse felt like.

_ Stop being dramatic. _

"Tell me where he is."

Peeves howled but seemed to grow bored with her, turning and diving through a wall.

Elara's desperation overflowed and she was about to scream when the poltergeist popped his head back through the wall, utterly bored. "Sixth floor bathroom."

Elara's heart leaped and she began to sprint towards the sixth floor, praying to Merlin that Peeves wasn't lying.

What if Draco was hurt? What if someone had hurt him?

The dread in her stomach made her sick and she forced the bile rising in her throat down, taking the stairs two at a time.

Ignoring her burning lungs, she rushed down the hallways, up to the sixth floor, and faltered when she heard a sound from the boys' bathroom.

Peeves had been right.

It was Draco - and he was sobbing.

Elara's heart dropped into her stomach.

_ Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay. _

She burst into the bathroom.

  
  



	25. twenty five

ELARA NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D SEE DRACO CRY.

Frankly, she didn't think he was capable of tears. He barely showed any emotion - she never thought she'd have to prepare for this.

But seeing him bent over the sink, his breath rasping as his shoulders heaved for breath, his face damp with tears - she had never felt worse in her entire life.

"Draco."

She tried to forget that the last time they'd been in this very same situation, he'd begun to hex her and then proceeded to fuck his feelings away before leaving.

Draco didn't turn around but his knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the two sinks on either side of the one he was hunched over.

"Get out." His voice was broken, rough.

He'd said the same thing to her before.

"No," Elara replied, softly, crossing the bathroom floor, slowly. She could see his hair was damp - she didn't know if he'd washed his face or if it was sweat.

His sweater vest was lying on the floor, tossed there like he'd ripped it off himself. She was pretty sure he had.

"It's okay," Elara said, softly, coming to a stop behind him. Her heart was pounding against her ribs and one hand drifted to her wand, in case he lashed out. "I'm here now."

Gingerly, she extended her hand, touched his shoulder. He twisted away, still not facing her, his head dropped low. His eyes were shut.

"I'm here," she repeated, gently, vaguely feeling like she was dealing with a cornered animal.

His eyes opened, meeting hers in the reflection of the mirror, over his shoulder. He looked torn - shattered apart into pieces.

She took another miniscule step towards him so her chest was brushing his back.

He made to flinch and she could see the words on the tip of his tongue.

_ Get out. _

But then she was wrapping her arms around his torso from behind, pressing her cheek flat against his back. "I'm here," she whispered against the material of his white shirt. "I'm here."

Draco went rigid against her. She couldn't see his face but she knew, by the sharp intake of his breaths, that his eyes were wet.

His hands didn't move from clutching the edge of the sink.

She stayed like that for several minutes, feeling his shoulders heave as he cried. It twisted her heart into a mangled mess.

But then his breaths became quieter, slower. She noticed his hands loosen just a fraction over the edge of the sink, his knuckles gaining some colour.

Slowly, she lifted her head from his back, slid under his arm and around to his front, wedged between him and the sink.

They'd been in a  _ very  _ similar position last time.

"Draco," she murmured, meeting his eyes. Her chest nearly caved in. His eyes were haunted. Tragic.

_ What are you hiding, Draco? _

He let her cup his face, let her brush away his tears and push his damp hair away from his face, looking down at her with devastating eyes as grey as stone.

"Whatever it is," Elara said, softly, tracing his cheekbones with her thumbs, "you can tell me. I can help."

Draco shook his head but it was weak. He looked exhausted - like he hadn't slept in months.

"Let me take your pain from you." Elara's voice broke. She wanted to curl up with him and cry. But she'd be no help if she did. "Let me help, Draco. Let me shoulder whatever burden it is you're carrying."

Draco seemed to melt under her fingertips and it seemed like she was holding him upright. He looked ready to collapse.

This wasn't Draco Malfoy at all.

"You don't -" He faltered, his eyes flicking away from hers but she turned his face so she could meet them again. "You don't understand."

"Help me," she answered, gently. One wrong move and he'd go ballistic on her. She had to play this carefully.

Draco shook his head, something like panic flickering in his eyes. "No - No. Get off - leave me alone -"

"No," Elara said, firmly, pulling him back by the front of his shirt as he tried to pull back. "No. Let me help you, Draco. It doesn't make you weak -"

"Leave me alone -" he half-snarled but Elara was sending him a deathly glare, tugging him back and stubbornly wrapping her arms around his torso, resting her head against his shoulder, with a scowl on her face.

He stiffened once more and she half expected him to shove her off. Maybe use an Unforgivable on her while he was at it.

But then he seemed to take a breath and went a little lax.

Elara squeezed her eyes shut, listened to his rapid heartbeat, a frantic thrum in her ears. She wasn't going to let him go.

Then his hands were on her face, lifting her head from his chest and he was crashing their lips together.

Elara recognised the tactic as soon as he did it. Rough kisses, harsh bites on her lower lip, greedy hands.

He wanted to fuck it out.

But not this time.

She placed her hands flat on his chest and used all her strength to shove him back.

He stumbled back, just a step, his eyes hooded and unreadable, catching his breath.

"No," she said, quietly, and she watched the ravenous hunger in his eyes die out. "You can't keep fucking me to distract yourself."

Draco's lips were already dark pink from his rough kissing. "It's the only thing that helps."

Elara looked at him, despair threading through her gut at the sight of his distress. She pushed herself up onto the edge of the sink, opened her arms.

"I can make you feel better," she told him, not breaking his gaze.

Draco shook his head, looked away before meeting her eyes again and then heaving a sigh, giving in once he saw she wasn't backing down.

He stepped into her embrace, his muscles still tensed. "Bet?" he said, his voice muffled against her hair.

Elara wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him to rest between her legs and for a moment, he didn't react, didn't move.

She wondered if he'd ever been hugged while he cried before.

She rested her chin on his shoulder, her hands rubbing up and down, and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

Draco seemed to shudder, exhaling a long breath and finally breaking.

His arms coiled around her back, holding her tightly to him, and he buried his head in her neck, releasing a shaky breath. He was quivering underneath her hands.

"Bet," she whispered as he sank into her.

Her skin was soon damp with his tears and she felt her own eyes water.

She pressed soft -  _ loving -  _ kisses onto his cheek and jaw, her hands still soothing him by running, lightly, through his hair and trailing up and down his back.

His breaths were warm on her neck and she sighed, contentedly, at the feeling.

Slowly, several minutes later, she felt his heartbeat slow down, back to normal. His chest rose and fell a little easier, no longer having to gasp out breaths like he did when he was crying.

Elara shut her eyes, pressed a lingering kiss to his temple, pushed her fingers through his hair, her touch light.

He inhaled with a shudder and pressed his face further into the crook of his neck, his lips touching her skin in his own soft kiss.

She knew what that kiss meant. It was the only way he knew to say thank you.

"I don't want to be my father."

His voice was muffled in her neck, his arms loosening around her enough before he pulled back so he could look at her. Her heart thudded in her chest.

She was relieved to see his face was dry, his eyes still lined with red but no longer wet.

"I don't want to be him," Draco said and his voice broke. He looked away; she brought him back with a sweet kiss against his lips.

"You're not him," she told him, her voice barely a whisper. "You're never going to be him. You're everything he wasn't and everything he could never be. You may be his blood but that doesn't define you. Your last name doesn't define you. You don't have to be him, Draco. You have a choice. "

He looked at her as if he were expecting her to take back everything she just said, tell him she was joking, that he really was exactly like his father. Somehow, she knew no one had ever told him this.

"I mean it," she said, taking a breath. Her eyes skimmed over his face, looking for any hint of the agony he'd had on his face a while ago. "You get to make your own choices, Draco."

He didn't believe her - it was written all over his face. Elara wanted to say more - so much more - but she could see him shuttering off, his posture straightening.

He pulled back, pushed a hand through his hair, roughly. His shoulders were stiff.

"You should go," he said, tightly, and she recognised the mask slipping on over his features. "I'll see you later."

"Draco -"

"Please." His voice was low but she detected the desperation behind it. "Please, Elara. I can't do this. Not tonight."

Elara swallowed hard. Her lower lip trembled. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay, make sure he was okay, hold him a little longer.

His eyes were resolute as he looked at her, his hand flexing by his side.

She pushed herself off the sink, landed on the floor. "Okay. Astronomy Tower tomorrow night?"

His lips formed a line. "I'll let you know."

She blinked at the blatant rejection but nodded, meekly, before slipping past him, her head ducked. She hated that despite it all, there was a pang in her chest at his dismissal of her. At the fact that he didn't want her.

Her hair fell to one side of her face, shielding her from his view as she moved past him.

She sensed him turn and his hand grasped her elbow, tugging her back to drop his mouth against hers.

Softly.

Firmly.

But with so much feeling Elara trembled when he pulled away. It was an apology - given to her in the only way he knew how to.

He looked down at her, silver eyes flicking between hers. "You're too good for me," he said, finally, dropping her arm. His tone was blunt. "One day, you'll realise."

She was still shaking. She'd never seen such intensity in his eyes - such emotion.

"Bet?" she whispered, not trusting her own voice.

He gave her the smallest of smiles - heartbreaking in its entirety. It was the last sliver of emotion he showed before his face closed off. "Bet."

|

Elara lay, wrapped up in her blankets, staring up at the ceiling of the dorm. The Ravenclaw common room ceiling was made to reflect the stars outside and it had been Elara's favourite thing in the common room since she arrived here.

Her mind was reeling. She wished she'd never left Draco alone in that bathroom - she wanted to hold him for longer, pepper soft comforting kisses all over his face, tell him he wasn't his father.

She wondered why she cared so much - wondered where along the line she'd started to care so intensely about him.

Somewhere in between his tired eyes and the tremor in his hand? Did she only care because she had caught the symptoms and was curious - like a true Ravenclaw - as to what could shake the infamous Draco Malfoy?

Or was it - more?

Dread curled in her gut where it had taken permanent residence since Peeves told her Draco had been crying alone.

Something was wrong. She was sure of it. It thrummed in her veins, turned her blood to ice. She fought the urge to jump out of bed and sprint back to the sixth floor bathroom.

Elara chided herself for being over dramatic. Everyone had their bad days - Draco's wasn't anything out of the blue.

But it  _ was.  _ Maybe not for most of the population - but for Draco Malfoy - _ oh-so-superior, infuriatingly arrogant, cold, indifferent - _

Elara burrowed deeper underneath her covers, trying to focus on Tracy's breathing from the bed next to her to help her fall asleep.

She was too tired to figure him out but the ache in her chest, coupled with the nauseous dread in her stomach, forced her to swing her legs off her bed, grabbing her shawl off the foot of the bed and draping it over her nightgown.

She slid out of the common room, stealthily, heading straight for the sixth form bathroom. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she ran, her curls bouncing with each step.

She would just check if he was still there. If he wasn't, she'd leave. She wouldn't go looking for him, she promised herself.

She took a sharp turn into the sixth year corridor and gasped as a startling, crawling feeling shuddering through her.

It was Moaning Myrtle, passing straight through her, and Elara's throat closed up at the sight of the ghost's despaired face.

"Potter! Potter did it! Potter killed him!"

With a wail, Myrtle turned and swooped back towards the boys' bathroom.

Elara nearly stumbled but pressed on, her eyes stinging.

_ Draco, Draco, Draco - _

As soon as she crossed the threshold of the bathroom, she gasped. The water was still running - she could hear it - and the floor was covered in water, reaching up to her ankles. The air was frigid around her, her exhales coming out in wisps.

The back of her neck was damp and goosebumps had erupted across her arms.

She couldn't see him yet - she just had to round the corner and -

Her eyes glanced down at the water pooling around her and her heart seemed to stop, her breaths strangled.

Something in the water. Crimson with a metallic smell that she knew well - sharp, tangy, invading her senses.

There was blood in the water.

  
  



	26. twenty six

CRIMSON.

It was all Elara could see as she stumbled forward, forgetting that she was ankle deep in water and she steadied herself on the wall as she forced her feet around the corner.

Her blood curdled as his spilled out from where he lay, sprawled out on the floor at an unnatural angle. He was soaked in blood, his white shirt dark red and sticking to him.

A scream ripped from her throat and she sloshed through the water, collapsing next to him.

" _ Draco _ !"

Crimson blood blossomed all over his chest like scarlet flowers as he gasped for breath, his face drained of all colour.

"Draco - Draco -" Elara resisted the urge to hurl and forced herself to pull it together, shoving her panic away. "Myrtle! Myrtle!"

The ghost appeared out of the sink, her eyes two wide saucers. "He's dead! Potter killed him -"

"He's not dead!" Elara snapped, her shaking fingers moving to unbutton Draco's shirt. "Get Snape!"

"S-Snape?"

"Yes, Myrtle! Now! Or, Merlin so help me, I will -"

Myrtle disappeared immediately.

Elara turned her focus back to Draco's shirt. Her hands were trembling, violently.

His eyes were open but unseeing - she nearly sobbed at the sight - but his chest was heaving in desperate breaths, his heartbeat erratic against her fingertips.

"Draco -" She finally got his shirt open and her stomach contracted so violently, she resisted the urge to throw up.

His chest was covered in slash marks - as if an invisible sword had cut through him - and blood was seeping from all over. His chest, his throat, his shoulders.

His chest fell and rose, rapidly, and with each movement, blood spread out into the water around them, staining everything red.

She needed to stop the bleeding. She didn't even know what kind of curse this was - she couldn't perform a counterspell.

She swallowed the sob rising in her throat and reached for her wand. She could conjure bandages, heal some of the wounds to stop them bleeding for at least a few seconds -

Her wand -  _ Fuck, fuck, no, no -  _ she'd forgotten her wand in her haste to leave her dorm.

Elara nearly collapsed next to Draco in despair. He was going to die. He was taking his last breaths and she'd be responsible for it. Because she'd forgotten her bloody wand.

Tears blurred her vision and through the haze, she could make out his silver eyes, the light slowly dying out of it, his fingers spasming at his side.

No. He couldn't die. She wouldn't let him.

_ Think, Elara, think.  _ What was the point in being in Ravenclaw if she couldn't even find a way to stop -

Her breath caught in her throat and she ripped the shawl from around her shoulders.

She summoned all her strength and ripped it down the middle and then again and again.

"Hold on, Draco. I'm here. You're going to be okay," she sobbed, barely able to form the words. She steadied herself, slid her hand under his shoulderblades and lifted him enough to get one of the strips of cloth under him, pulling it up and around his shoulder and tying it over a large slash near his collarbone.

He was deathly pale now - his eyelashes fluttered and his breath rattled in his lungs.

Elara forced her quivering hands to tie the strips of cloth around him, wrapping them under his back and around to his front, knotting them tightly.

His bleeding was slowing - the water around them turned pink, instead of blood red - but his fingers stopped spasming, his breathing becoming more violent.

It was then that she realised.

Whatever curse this was - it worked on the inside too. These weren't surface level cuts.

Draco was bleeding from the inside out. And she could do nothing to stop it.

Her head spun as she tied the second last cloth around his torso before pressing the last one to the base of his white throat.

She'd covered most of the big cuts - there was nothing else to do.

Tears dropped from her face, landing on Draco's chest and she heaved a sob, combing his soaked hair with unsteady fingers.

"Draco - I'm so sorry - hold on," she choked out, leaning down to press a kiss against his cold forehead. "Please don't leave me, Draco. Please. Please."

Nausea rose in her like a wave and she forced it down, her hands drenched in his blood, as she pressed the cloth tighter against his throat to staunch the bleeding.

The water was turning dark red again - the curse was counteracting against her effort to stop it.

_ You're too good for me. One day, you'll realise it. _

Her hair fell down around her face, the tips brushing his face, as she cried. She was helpless - she couldn't do anything to save him.

He was going to bleed out in her arms and die. Thinking he was just like his father - an evil, greedy Death Eater.

"You're not him," she whispered, her free hand combing back his hair and sliding down his cheek, thumb caressing his cheekbone.

He heaved for another breath, his chest expanding, violently, before contracting sharply inwards.

"You're not him, Draco." She forced the words out. Wanted them to be the last thing he ever heard. "You're not your father. You are good -"

She broke down, shaking, and leaned down to kiss his face again. The life was draining out of him - it'd all be over soon.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was strangled - she didn't even know if he could hear her. "I'm so - so -"

"Jacobs. Out of the way."

A swish of black cloak. Glittering obsidian eyes.

Elara fell back as Snape kneeled down beside Draco, cursing under his breath.

"Leave, Jacobs."

"No!" The word ripped from her throat. "No, no -"

"I will not heal him unless you  _ leav _ e," Snape hissed, already undoing the makeshift tourniquets she'd made. "You've saved his life. Now leave. Get McGonagall -  _ Now, Jacobs! _ "

Elara stumbled to her feet, not willing to take the risk of staying. She didn't know if Snape would actually refuse healing Draco but she didn't want to find out.

She dragged herself out of the bathroom, pressing a hand flat onto the wall to keep herself upright.

McGonagall. She had to get McGonagall.

Elara didn't remember any of the things that happened afterwards.

She didn't remember crawling to McGonagall's room, banging on the door or Madam Pomfrey scurrying towards her and taking her to the infirmary. She didn't remember taking a Calming and Sleeping Draught.

The only thing in her mind was silver eyes, lifeless and unseeing.

|

She wasn't allowed to see him.

No matter how much she argued and pleaded and begged, the curtains stayed pulled around Draco's bed in the infirmary, blocking her from even catching a glimpse of him.

"You'll see him when he's fully healed," Madam Pomfrey told her, sharply, ushering her out for the third time that day. "He's not to meet anyone until he's strong enough."

"I just want to see him -"

"No."

With that, Elara was pushed out into the corridor.

So she headed to the library.

Slowly, things were coming together. The Vanishing Cabinet would need to be repaired with a spell - which one she hadn't found out yet - and the procedures would have to be carried out several times before it would be fixed.

The school was buzzing. With Katie Bell being hexed on the way back from Hogsmeade and Draco being attacked all in one night, the rumours became chimaeras, taking on different forms in the most preposterous ways.

No one knew who had done it - save Snape, McGonagall, Myrtle and Elara, it seemed.

Security around the castle doubled. Rules became stricter. Elara didn't dare sneak out anymore - even when she found the dorm suffocating.

"Elara, you look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

Elara looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, cross-legged, a book on Enchanted Objects opened in front of her. She was frustrated - every single book she picked up contained only around three lines of text about Vanishing Cabinets.

"Did you hear me?" Tracy waved her hand in front of Elara's face. "I said you look like you didn't sleep last night -"

"Just last night?" Elara responded, dryly, turning back to her book and turning the page.

Tracy faltered, a frown overtaking her features at Elara's curt tone. "I... I'm sorry?"

Elara waved her away, getting to her feet and tucking the book under her arm. "I'll see you later."

|

"You're avoiding us."

Elara froze from where she was packing up her things at her desk.

Potions had just ended and the last of the students were filing out of the classroom. Slughorn was talking to Theodore Nott by the door.

"I'm not," Elara said, finally turning to face Ron and Hermione who were standing behind her, looking at her with solemn faces.

"Yes, you are," Hermione said, backing Ron up. "Don't lie to us, Elara. You haven't spoken to us in a week."

"Since the day we went to Hogsmeade," Ron added, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Elara, if you think you're a third wheel -"

"Third wheel?" Elara asked in disbelief, shoving her book into her bag and shouldering it. "If anything, I'd be more of a..." She counted in her head. "Seventh wheel."

She pushed past them only for Ron to grab her hand. "Elara. You know it's not like that."

She looked down at his hand, up to his eyes, to Hermione and then back to him. "I know," she said, gently, feeling guilty for her behaviour. "I'm sorry. I'm just - on edge."

She turned to leave, eager to go try her luck at the infirmary again, but stopped when Ron spoke again, his voice quiet so Slughorn and Nott didn't hear them.

"He used the Cruciatus Curse."

" _ Ron!"  _ Hermione hissed, her hand shooting out to grab onto his. "Harry said not to say anything!"

Elara's fingers tightened around the strap of her bag and she swallowed hard, turning her head to face them again. "What?"

"Nothing," Hermione said at the same time Ron said, "Malfoy."

Hermione shot him a deathly glare but Ron seemed oblivious, his eyes still fixed on Elara. "I know that's why you're avoiding us. 'Cause you hate Harry for doing what he did to Malfoy."

Elara's nails dug into her palm. "Why in Merlin would I care about Malf -"

"Because you're you," Ron replied, simply. "And you're not going to side with your friends if they've done something wrong just because they're your friends."

Elara's heart rate slowed. They didn't suspect her and Draco - they just thought it didn't fit with her moral compass.

She blew out a sigh. "Can you blame me?" she demanded. " _ You  _ didn't have to see Malfoy bleed out and almost  _ die  _ -"

"He's our enemy -"

"A childhood rivalry does not mean he deserves to die!" Elara defended, harshly.

Ron stared at her. "He used the Cruciatus curse. On Harry. Or at least, he would've if Harry hadn't cursed him -"

Elara felt the information settle in her mind and carefully, pocketed it away, taming her emotions. "What kind of curse was that?" She looked between Ron and Hermione. "That Harry used?"

Hermione shook her head. "We don't know. Harry didn't even know what it did -"

"And he decided to use it against Malfoy in the sixth floor boys' bathroom?"

"Are you  _ listening?"  _ Ron said, fiercely. "Malfoy was about to use an  _ Unforgivable  _ -"

"Yet he was the one  _ dying  _ on that bathroom floor!"

"Only because Harry saved himself! He didn't even know what the spell was -"

Elara shook her head. "I'm done here."

She strode out of the room, her head high, but couldn't shake the feeling that her argument was void and Ron was right.

If Draco had really been about to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry -

She shuddered and decided to skip Charms, instead turning in the direction of the infirmary.

She was forced out as usual but this time, Pomfrey told her to visit next week. Draco would be strong enough to see her then.

It couldn't come fast enough.

Elara kept studying up on Vanishing Cabinets, sneaking books from the Restricted Section. She skipped the sessions with Dumbledore's Army and instead, spent almost every waking moment reading and jotting down notes.

And when the time finally did come, she stopped outside the infirmary, wondering if she could do it.

But she had to. He needed her. She knew that now.

Her footsteps were soft, cautious, as she walked in, catching Madam Pomfrey's gaze. It was eight thirty - still half an hour from the newly imposed curfew - and Elara had picked this time because it'd be when the fewest people were around.

Although people already knew that she'd been the one to find Draco that night, she didn't want to give them any more reason to gossip.

Draco was sitting on the edge of his bed, playing with the cuffs on his shirt. It looked like the same shirt he'd been wearing that night but scrubbed clean and newly pressed.

"Hey." Her voice was quiet as she approached him, clutching the strap of her book bag. Her palms were damp.

He looked up. She nearly sobbed with relief when she saw his eyes - silver and alive and scrutinising her. "It's late."

His words made her footsteps falter. She heard Madam Pomfrey quietly exit the infirmary, shutting the doors behind her.

"I needed to see you," she replied, coming to a stop by the foot of his bed. Her eyes never left him, scanned him from head to toe, making sure he was alright.

"Something on the task?" he asked, nodding to her bag.

She looked down, thinking of the Vanishing Cabinet and clearing her throat. "I'm working on it. Most books give close to no information."

He hummed low in his throat, his long fingers moving to do up the last few buttons on his shirt. "I see."

"Are you going somewhere?" Her heart jumped into her throat when he glanced at her. "I thought Pomfrey said you were to rest for another week."

"Snape got her to let me off early," Draco answered, emotionless.

Elara's stomach sank. She needed to have a chat with Snape later.

"You should rest," she said, gently, finally dropping her bag onto the chair and moving to stand in front of him.

He stilled as she reached out, gently pushing his fingers away to help him do up the last two buttons on his shirt. His skin was radiating heat and she wanted to lean down and kiss him, straddle him, hold him tight.

Draco looked up at her through his lashes, his hand hovering over hers for a second before dropping away to land on the bed beside him.

"Are you feeling okay?" she inquired, forcing herself to focus on the question and not how close her hands were to his skin. She did the last button, fixed his collar and stepped away.

"Fine," he said, looking away. He picked up the rings on his bedside table, slipped them on.

Elara's eye caught a silver one she hadn't noticed before - in the shape of a snake, wrapping around his finger, two emeralds as eyes. The diamonds glittered in the light.

"Pretty," she commented, feeling bold and reaching for his hand, tracing the ring.

The skin to skin contact was searing - she resisted the urge to jerk away as she looked at him. "It's beautiful."

"Malfoy heirloom," he answered and she took some pride in the fact that he seemed put off by the contact too. "It's supposed to be enchanted against Dark Magic or something but we tested the theory multiple times." He shrugged, pulling his hand out of her grip. "Doesn't do shit."

She frowned at the loss of contact. "Oh."

The silence between them was heavy, resting on her shoulders like a weight. She didn't know what to say - it was obvious he didn't either.

It was enough. She'd seen him, made sure he was fine. He obviously was - he was getting ready to leave.

"Okay," she said, clearing her throat. Her hand reached for her bag, propped the satchel over her shoulder. "I'm glad you're okay. I'll see you later, yeah?"

Draco didn't answer but Elara was already turning away, embarrassed for no reason she could conceive.

She shouldn't have come. She'd been wrong. He didn't need her. He probably thought she was weird, clingy, obsessive -

A tug stopped her and it took a moment for her to realise he had reached for the strap of her bag and was pulling her back.

She made to turn to face him at the same time as he tugged harder and she was guided forward, her bag falling to the ground with a thud, as his hands steadied her on her hips. He had pulled her to stand between his legs.

She looked down at him, surprised, her lips parted and hesitantly, brought her hands up to his shoulders. He was warm through the material of his shirt.

His eyelashes fluttered at the contact. He tilted his head back to gaze up at her and Elara's legs turned to jelly.

His eyes were stern, his jaw taut. "You saved me."

Elara's stomach did somersaults. "Snape told you?" She hadn't meant for her voice to come out in a whisper.

He shook his head, slowly, not breaking eye contact and it was enough to steal the breath from Elara's lungs. "I was awake."

Elara's throat closed up.

"When I was bleeding out on that bathroom floor," he said, softly, turning his head and pressing his lips to the inside of her wrist in a small kiss, "you saved me."

Elara bit back a sob and felt tears hit the back of her eyes. "I - didn't. Snape -"

Again, Draco shook his head. "I would've bled out long before Snape got there if you hadn't done what you did."

Elara wanted to melt into him. He was being so -  _ nice. _

She inhaled, shakily, combed her fingers through his tousled hair. "I was so - so scared."

"I know," he said softly, finally tilting his chin back down, breaking the eye contact. His arms wrapped around the back of her legs, tugging her closer, and he pressed his cheek to her stomach, letting his eyes shut as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. "I know."

They stayed like that for a few minutes and Elara tried to familiarise herself with the ups and downs of his chest, easy, normal, no longer gasps and chokes like they had been that night. His hair - dry and soft - underneath her fingertips, the warmth from his skin seeping into her stomach, his thumbs grazing up and down the back of her thighs in such a comforting way she nearly collapsed on top of him.

He was tired - weak. It was why he was melting into her, letting her hold him with no snide remark or sneer.

She savoured it. But she knew she couldn't have it forever.

So then she asked the question she knew would break the blissful silence they'd sunk into.

"Draco, did you use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry?"

  
  



	27. twenty seven

DRACO'S REACTION WAS IMMEDIATE.

He jerked back, let his arms fall away and leaned back onto his palms to put some distance between them.

His eyes had lost the glazed, tired look in them and were suddenly calculating.

Elara didn't move an inch, meeting his eyes, steadily, as he looked up at her, his jaw clenching.

"So that's why you came." He scoffed, looked away before meeting her eyes once again. "Come to be Saint Potter's lawyer, have you? How sweet. Is he paying you by getting between your legs?"

Elara flinched, took a step back, her chest twisting. "You don't have to be so rude -"

"I don't?" Draco laughed and it froze Elara's blood over with its frigidity. "I think I have every right, seeing as you've come here to defend -"

"I'm not defending anybody!" Elara shot back, reaching for him again. He twisted his shoulder away. "I just want to know what happened -"

"Who told you that I used the Cruciatus Curse?" Draco demanded, briefly gripping the sheets underneath his hands before releasing them. "Potter? He's always had it out to get me -"

" _ You've  _ always had it out to get  _ him!" _

_ " - _ why the  _ fuck  _ would you believe him? Unless he's got you wrapped around his dick -"

Elara exhaled, sharply, through her teeth. "You're being an absolute git right now, Draco -"

"Then, by all means,  _ leave _ !" Draco exclaimed, frustrated. "I won't stop you."

Elara clenched her fists. "You are unbelievable." She snatched her bag up from the floor and shouldered it, taking a few steps away before thinking better of it and rounding on him again. "It was a simple yes or no question!"

"And what if I say yes?" Draco hissed, getting to his feet. He towered over her, irises swirling with animosity. "What if I  _ did  _ use an Unforgivable on him? Then what?"

Elara bit down on her lip to stop herself from saying something dumb. Draco caught the movement, flexed his hand by his side like he always did when he was trying not to lose control.

"Are you going to report me?" he demanded, stepping closer. Elara moved back but he kept coming closer, prowling towards her like a panther. "Are you going to be a little bitch and fucking  _ snitch  _ on me?"

"Harry would tell them before I do," Elara said, faintly, barely registering that it was her own voice speaking.

Draco halted in his tracks for a second before half-laughing, half-scoffing. "Fucking  _ hell.  _ You and Potter  _ are  _ perfect for each other. He's a Seeker in Quidditch, isn't he?" He reached out, seized her arm and drew her closer. "Well, you're the fucking  _ Snitch." _

"So you did use it," Elara concluded, wincing at his tight hold on her arm. "You used the Cruciatus on him."

"And it would've worked," Draco hissed at her, one hand tangling in her hair to yank her head back and force her to look up at him. "If that's what you're wondering. I  _ meant  _ it."

Elara's stomach curled. She tried to wrench away from him but his grip was too tight. "Then I guess you got what you deserved."

The phrase fell from her lips before she could stop it and she saw, despite the anger on his face, the flicker of hurt across his features. His hand went slack for an instant in her hair.

But then the emotion was gone, swallowed by the mask.

"You would've left me to die there if you'd known before," Draco snarled, releasing her and shoving her back in the process.

She caught onto the side of the chair to keep her balance.

"So there you go," Draco bit out, dryly. "You got what you wanted. Now you can go run off to your pathetic little group of friends and clear your conscience."

Elara blinked at him, confused.

"That's what you wanted, right?" A lazy grin was spreading across Draco's face. It was harsh and humourless and made Elara want to slap him. "Your poor Ravenclaw conscience couldn't handle sneaking around with the son of a Death Eater, could it?"

"That was never -"

"So there you go!" Draco looked at her with such disgust she almost shrank back. "There you  _ fucking  _ go, Jacobs. I've proved that I'm exactly like my father, haven't I? I  _ deserved  _ to bleed out on that bathroom floor,  _ didn't I _ ?"

Elara's heart cracked. No. She wasn't going to let him guilt trip her and manipulate her.

"You used an Unforgivable Curse on your classmate," she said, quietly. "And they are just that.  _ Unforgivable.  _ But if I thought you were like your father, I wouldn't have come to see you."

He shook his head and ground out, "I've given you what you were hoping for. I've given you a reason to leave. So  _ leave. _ " He looked away, his eyes unreadable. "Don't have to keep hanging around the Death Eater's kid out of pity. You know I'm just like him now."

Elara took a deep breath. "Draco, please - "

"I said,  _ leave _ , Elara. This is over. I don't want to fucking speak to you again." He turned away, pushed a hand through his hair, roughly. She caught the trembling of his fingers as he did so.

His words cut through her like a dagger. He was ending this - whatever this was.

"Draco," she stepped forward, reached for his arm. He was so alone - she'd seen it that night when he'd cried in the bathroom. "Please - "

"Are you fucking  _ deaf?  _ " he hissed, yanking his arm away from her like she'd burned him. "I said I don't want to fucking speak to you - "

"Just  _ listen  _ to me - "

" - Potter can have you and your loyalty. I don't fucking want it."

"Draco - "

"You can spread your legs for him all you want - I don't fucking  _ care.  _ You can go back to him and get on your knees for him like the fucking  _ whore  _ you are and then - fucking - tell him how I'm exactly like my fucking father and how I  _ deserved to fucking die  _ that night."

Elara's mouth snapped shut, tears blurring her vision , as she looked at him. He was staring right back at her, his shoulders heaving, his eyes flashing.

It was too much - it was all too much. Elara was going to crumble.

"Fine," she said and was surprised her voice didn't break. She wondered how she was still intact.

His eyes followed a tear as it traced down her cheek and his hand flexed by his side again, as if he wanted to wipe it away.

But he didn't.

"Fine," she repeated, clutching the strap of her bag tighter. "But you're wrong."

She met his eyes one last time, trying to memorise the swirls of silver and specks of blue. The same eyes had been haunted and panicked and tragic just a week ago. "I wasn't looking for a reason to leave. You've given me about sixty just in the past five minutes and I still - ." She forced herself to take breath, brushing another tear away. "I was looking for a reason to stay."

She saw him inhale, sharply, and she began to turn. "But obviously, there isn't one."

With that, she forced her legs to move and left Draco behind.

|

"I'm sorry but I can't do anything about it."

Elara stared at her hands in her lap as she sat in Snape's office.

"I see," Snape mused. "So Malfoy wants nothing to do with you."

Elara forced down the knot in her throat and nodded, silently.

"I imagine you want to be relieved of your duties."

Elara looked up. "I told you there's nothing I can do. It's over - he doesn't trust me one bit -"

Snape sighed as if he was getting tired of dealing with her. "I know there are things you're not telling me, Jacobs."

Elara tried not to shy away from his gaze. "Why would I hide anything?"

"Because you care for him."

The answer was so simple, Snape's words short.

Elara blinked.

"You've started caring for him. You don't want to expose his secrets to me. I should tell you that the only thing that's going to do is make it harder for me to stop him if he does anything -"

"He's not going to  _ do  _ anything," Elara said, exasperated. "He can't even handle his blasted emotions. You expect him to do something  _ evil?" _

"He did use an Unforgivable Curse on Potter."

Elara faltered. "He was - fragile that night. Harry probably startled him -"

"Do  _ you  _ use the Cruciatus Curse when someone surprises you, Miss Jacobs?"

Elara gritted her teeth.

"Exactly," Snape said, bored.

"What do you want me to do?" she snapped.

"If Malfoy doesn't want anything to do with you anymore," Snape went on, "his ego is obviously bruised."

"And you want me to fix it."

"His father is a Death Eater - one of the most loyal ones," Snape reminded her. "We cannot underestimate him. And you are the only person who can get close enough to give us a warning if he does something -  _ anything.  _ You can't give up now."

"I haven't been able to get  _ anything  _ out of him so far!"

"Yes, you have. You saw him disappear before you got caught by Filch. That corridor holds the Room of Requirement and it's obvious Mr. Malfoy is using it."

_ The Vanishing Cabinet. _

"It's only a matter of time before we find out what he's doing in there," Snape went on. "I'm keeping an eye on him too."

"I can't fix him," Elara whispered, her fingers digging into the material of the chair. She remembered Draco's devastated expression the night in the bathroom then him bleeding to death on the floor. "I can't."

Snape examined her for a minute before getting to his feet and moving to the door, pulling it open.

Elara took the hint and got to her feet.

"You're not supposed to," Snape told her, quietly. "You're supposed to exploit it."

The door shut behind her with a damning click.

|

Draco and Elara avoided each other like the plague.

They shared many classes together but never glanced at each other once. Even when they were paired up in Potions, they didn't say a word to one another, even though Elara's eyes kept sliding back to his long, deft fingers as he cut the Fluxweed.

He was amazing with his hands - Elara shoved away the thoughts of him dragging his hands down her, caressing her face, brushing against the bare skin of her stomach, wrapping around her throat. His fingers moved expertly, long and slender and ringed, and Elara sighed.

She'd always loved Draco's hands.

But the ache in her chest hadn't eased since their fight almost a month ago.

She missed him - there was no denying that - but his words echoed in her head every minute of every day.

Despite Snape's insistence that she keep trying, Elara had given up. She'd been avoiding Snape too - not wanting to receive a scolding for not doing her job.

Elara reached for the Fluxweed Draco had cut just as he did too, his other hand still clutching the knife.

Their fingers brushed and they both inhaled, sharply.

He didn't move his hand; neither did she.

She looked up. His eyes were fixed on their hands. Then, he slowly looked up at her, through his eyelashes.

Elara's stomach flipped, her lips parted. His skin felt so soft, so smooth against hers and she missed him so much -

He moved his hand away, picked up the knife and began to chop the Fluxweed again.

Elara exhaled and turned away to shield the colour spreading across her face.

|

It was well into March when Elara figured it out.

She'd been working non stop since Draco and her had stopped talking.

She'd skipped meals, declined meet ups, lost sleep to go through books in her bed in the dorm.

Elara had debated letting it go, forgetting all about the Cabinet. But no matter what she tried, she couldn't forget Draco's pale face, trembling hands, haunted eyes.

The way he'd sobbed into her neck, digging his fingers into her back. His desperate gasps.

_ I don't want to be my father. _

_ You saved me. _

_ Tell him how I'm exactly like my fucking father and how I deserved to fucking die that night. _

He'd called her a whore too, accused her of sleeping with Harry.

And she hated herself for it. Hated that despite all the hurtful things he'd said, she still wanted him so badly.

Hated that if he needed a way out of here, she would give it to him with no hesitation.

Even if he didn't want her with him.

_ Harmonia Nectere Passus. _

That was the spell. It'd fix the Vanishing Cabinet over a few months - she estimated by June.

It'd be the end of the school year but at least she'd done it. Her Ravenclaw determination to solve this had shone through.

Draco could be free now - even if it was only for a few hours every night.

Now, she had to tell him.

  
  



	28. twenty eight

THE NOTE WAS SIMPLE.

_ AT at 8. _

She'd slipped it across to him during Potions the next week, watched him freeze as she did so.

She couldn't risk talking - Slughorn was giving them a quiz and wouldn't tolerate even a whisper.

Draco unfurled the note, his eyes skimming across it. His other hand tightened over his quill before his head bent.

He scratched something out onto the note and pushed it back across the table to her.

_ Fifth years. _

Elara cursed, internally. If the Astronomy Tower was taken by fifth years, it meant they'd probably have it for the rest of the year until the O.W.L.S. It would be increasingly difficult to meet there.

_ Library?  _ she scribbled back.

He read it, impassively.

A moment later, she received the small slip of paper back.

_ Slytherin common room at 11. _

She was going to scribble back that that was past curfew and she didn't see how he could sneak her into the Slytherin common room but Slughorn bellowed that time was up and  _ Accio _ -d all the quizzes.

Draco was the first on his feet, shouldering his bag, and leaving the classroom, joined by Nott and Pansy by the door.

Elara's quill snapped in her fist when she saw Pansy reach up to brush something off Draco's cheek and take his arm to wrap it around her shoulders as they walked out.

"Yikes," Indigo was at Elara's desk, nodding at her broken quill. "Want me to repair that?"

|

The Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff started at four in the afternoon.

Elara only went because Fred and George were playing and Freya had promised they'd sit together.

"Freya," Elara said as Hufflepuff scored another goal and the crowd around them roared. "I think I'm going to quit Quidditch."

Freya had been clapping, enthusiastically, but she turned to stare at Elara now, her eyes wide. "What?"

Elara lifted her shoulder, casually. "I don't think I want to play anymore."

"Elara, you're the best Chaser -"

"There's Allison," Elara cut her off, watching as Fred dodged a Bludger. "She's just as good."

"You've been playing for years!" Freya said, raising her voice to be heard over the din around them. "Why do you want to stop?"

"It doesn't make me happy anymore," Elara said, her eyes catching Harry diving suddenly. He seemed to have caught sight of the Snitch. "It's become a chore."

Freya paused before taking her sister's hand. "You know I'll support you in anything you do."

Elara finally turned and sent her a smile, giving her hand a squeeze. "Thank you."

|

Elara had no idea how she was supposed to get into the Slytherin common room.

It wasn't like Draco had  _ told  _ her.

It was ten past eleven and she was risking it, being out here so late. With the rules so tight since Katie Bell's hex and Draco's attack, she hadn't snuck out once until today.

Elara waited another five minutes and then descended the stairs to the wall that shielded the Slytherin common room.

Her footsteps echoed in the stairwell as she made her way down, carefully.

Just as she came to a stop in front of the wall, it began to slide up and her heart stopped, expecting to see a Slytherin on the other side.

But there was no one there - just a dim passageway.

Elara, cautiously, moved forward, shivering. She was wearing just a huge sweater, one that swallowed her up and reached her knees, and pajama shorts.

The green lanterns threw her off as she stepped into the common room after making sure it was empty.

Low-backed emerald green sofas, dark oak furniture, a huge window looking out underwater into the lake, framed by tall bookshelves stacked with books and trinkets.

A green fire was crackling in the fireplace, the rug in front of it of dragon hide. A green glow hung in the air.

She could picture Draco fitting right in here, lazing on the sofa, with his legs propped up on the table, his arms draped over the back of the couch.

He'd have a lazy smile on his face, his hair catching the greenish glow and -

"Psst!"

Elara jumped out of her skin, whirled to face a portrait of an old woman behind her.

"His room is up the stairs - right at the end," the portrait whispered. "Be quiet. He was supposed to be down here when you arrived but he never showed up."

Despite herself, Elara's heart pounded. Had something happened?

Her mind flashed back to him dying on the bathroom floor, gasping for oxygen, crimson flowers blooming across his chest.

"Go!" hissed the portrait. "Before someone finds you!"

Elara nearly tripped over her own two feet as she climbed the spiral stone staircase, emerging into another dingy corridor.

She followed the portrait's directions, found Draco's room set apart from everyone else's.

Steadying herself and taking a deep breath, she raised her hand and knocked, quickly. If Zabini caught her out here -

The door opened and there stood Draco, narrowing his eyes at her, blinking against the light.

"You said eleven," she scolded, folding her arms over her chest.

He blinked again and then realisation dawned on his face. "Shit." He pushed a hand through his already tousled hair. "I forgot."

She tried not to take offense but failed. While she'd been thinking and obsessing over how this would go down the whole day, he'd  _ forgotten. _

He stepped aside to let her in and she slipped past him, careful not to touch him or come close.

"I didn't know you had your own room," she commented as she looked around. She suppressed a small gasp.

His room was large - larger than even the dorm she shared with Tracy, Indigo, Cho and Luna.

It had a high ceiling, draped with emerald green and dark grey, and a large, spacious bed sat in the middle, framed with green curtains.

The floor was carpeted in dark green

velvet but the main attraction of the room was the opposite wall from the door.

The entire wall was taken up by a glass window, looking straight out into the lake, the water casting a glow through the room, dancing off the walls.

"It comes with being a Malfoy," Draco replied, dryly, but there was something in his tone that was different.

She eyed him, warily, taking him in from head to toe for the first time. He was wearing a loose white dress shirt, unbuttoned till halfway down his chest, and trousers.

His white-blond hair was tousled and wavy, falling over his forehead.

But his eyes were different. Instead of being calculating and sharp, they were glazed over and glittering.

Elara frowned, moving her eyes to rest on the small trolley by the door. She smelled the Firewhiskey before she saw the bottle and the small glass.

"Are you... _ drunk?" _ she demanded, incredulously.

Draco rolled his eyes. "What about it?"

"I told you I needed to  _ talk  _ to you," Elara huffed, annoyed. "And you go and get  _ drunk?" _

"I  _ forgot  _ -"

She strode over to the little table, snatched up the tall bottle of Firewhiskey. "Where did you even get this from? Alcohol is banned in school -"

"I'm quite resourceful," Draco said, almost offended. "And I didn't drink much."

Elara rolled her eyes. "It's half empty."

"Half empty or half full? It's all in how you look at it," he said, very unhelpfully.

Elara groaned and placed the bottle back onto the trolley. "I can't fucking talk to you when you're wasted."

She stopped to think. She could postpone this meeting. It would give her another excuse to talk to him later and it  _ had  _ been almost two months. She desperately missed him -

But she couldn't. She couldn't want him anymore.

She moved over to the oak desk and grabbed a quill.

_ Harmonia Nectere Passus. _

"This is the spell," she said, tossing the quill away a minute later. "It'll repair the Vanishing Cabinet. I've written the wand movement and how many times you should do it per week before it's repaired."

Some of the focus returned to Draco's face. "You - You found it?"

"Yes," she replied, sharply. "I had to go through about two hundred books and eight from the Restricted section. I don't even know if it will work."

She turned to leave but Draco spoke. "Why?"

Elara froze, reaching for the doorknob. She knew what he was curious about, had hoped he wouldn't ask. "You asked me to repair something. That's all I did."

"No." His voice was darker now and she shivered at the tone. "We agreed to fix it so we could leave together."

Elara's heart twisted. Drunk Draco was dangerous; he'd be half as controlled and twice as bold.

"I'm a Ravenclaw," she replied, her back still to him. "I can't stop working on a problem until I solve it."

Her hand closed around the knob.

"And what about me?" he asked and his voice had dropped to a murmur. He was right behind her now; she felt the ghost of his breath on the back of her neck. "You left before you solved me."

This wasn't a good idea - she should end this conversation, leave the room.

But Draco's familiar scent of green apples and parchment - this time mixed with Firewhiskey - invaded her senses and it'd been  _ so  _ long since she'd been in his presence -

She felt his lips drop to her neck and gasped, her pulse thrumming against his lips. She should leave. Her hand was on the knob; all she had to do was turn it and walk out.

But she hesitated too long. As soon as Draco's teeth closed around her skin and his hands slid around to her front, she let out a gasp at the feeling.

He hummed against her, his hands sliding dangerously low. "Why did you leave me, Elara?"

His voice -  _ oh, Merlin, his  _ voice - was low and raspy, sending tingles straight to her core. She'd never been so turned on by a voice before.

"Hmm?" One hand came to rest low on her stomach, the other grasping the hem of her sweater. "I asked you a question, Jacobs."

His use of her last name jolted her into speaking. "I - you weren't a -" She gasped as he sucked on the skin underneath her jaw, his lips deliciously talented. "You weren't a - a problem - to solve."

Draco's hand was pulling the hem of her oversized sweater up now, running his tongue over the sensitive skin on her neck.

She should stop him. This wasn't right. No matter how starved she was for him.

"Draco -"

"Don't lie to me," he hissed against her skin, his soft hair brushing her jaw. His fingers let go of the hem of her sweater and dipped under it before it fell. "Tell me why you left."

The feeling of his fingers rubbing in between her legs was enough to make her jerk, her knees weakening.

"Draco - we  _ can't -"  _ But she whimpered when he applied more pressure.

"Tell me, Elara." His voice was hard as he grazed his lips up the shell of her ear. "Tell me and I'll reward you."

She mewled against her will as he pressed down between her legs. Pleasure fanned out through her body, leaving her breathless. She needed more.

"Please," she gasped out, pressing back against him, one of her hands dropping to cup his as his long fingers teased her. Her self control flew out the window.

He kissed her jaw. "Tell me why you left me."

She moaned, loudly, throwing her head back against his shoulder as he dove his fingers under her shorts, skimming over her clit. "I couldn't -" She bit down hard on her lip as he slid a finger into her. " _ Fuck, Draco." _

Her free hand moved behind her to palm him over his trousers. He was hard.

He let out a low hiss into her ear and it took all her restraint not to turn around and drop to her knees for him. "You couldn't what?"

Elara nearly forgot what she'd been about to say, her body in bliss as he pumped his finger in and out of her in such a delicious rhythm she was sure she would pass out. "I... I -  _ shit  _ \- I couldn't solve - solve you."

Draco added another finger and her back arched.

"And why not?" he whispered, his other hand wrapped around her bare stomach to hold her in place.

Elara's toes curled as he reached a spot in her that made her see stars. "You - You made me leave. You forced me to. Didn't...Didn't want me."

Draco made a sound in the back of his throat, a noise of arousal mixed with anger, and she moaned at just the sound. "Do you have -" He bit down on the spot beneath her jaw, "- any  _ fucking _ idea -" His tongue ran over the bruised skin, soothing it, "- how much -" His free hand slid upwards to rest, lightly, on her throat, "- I wanted you -" He forced her head to the side, giving himself more access, "- to stay?"

He punctuated each of his phrases with a thrust and curl of his fingers and the increased pace had Elara melting, her core tightening.

"More," she begged as his lips pressed against her jaw. "Draco, please - more."

He let out an exhale against her skin and then was pulling away, removing his hand from between her legs and whirling her around to face him.

She gasped at the sudden change in position, her body crying out for a release. "No -  _ prick  _ -"

His eyes were dark, swirling with ravenous hunger, as he picked her up, easily, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she looked down at him, her hands cupping the back of his neck.

He moved them to the bed and dropped her onto it.

The breath left her in a whoosh as her back hit the pillows below her but he was on top of her in a flash, nestling himself between her thighs.

His shirt hung down, giving her a _ very  _ nice view of his chest and hard stomach.

Blond hair fell forward, brushing the top of her head, as he looked down at her, hungrily.

Elara was suddenly jolted back into reality.  _ No, no, she shouldn't be doing this. _

It was wrong. He'd been such a prat, called her names, hurt her feelings so badly that she'd cried silently in her bed at night, her chest aching.

Elara's hand reached up to push him away but he caught it, easily, in his hand, his eyes still on hers.

Her breath hitched in her throat, the simple contact enough to flip her stomach.

He seemed to notice her hesitation, brought her hand slowly to rest on his bare chest.

Draco knew what he was doing. The feeling of his warm, smooth skin under her fingertips sent tendrils of electricity up her arm and into the rest of her body.

She hesitated again, a battle behind her eyes, but didn't stop him when he covered her hand with his before sliding it to the back of his neck, making it easier for him to lean closer.

"Do you have any idea how many times I've pictured you like this?" he murmured, his voice rough. "Underneath me, on my fucking bed."

He pressed her body to his and she felt all of him. Her lips parted.

He groaned low in his throat when Elara looked up at him. "Don't fucking look at me like that, Elara."

Elara's nerves tingled, her heart thundering against her ribcage.

"Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me," he growled, dipping his head and nipping at the skin on her neck. "You have no  _ fucking  _ idea how many times I've laid in this bed and thought of you."

Heat gathered in Elara's stomach. Draco's expert lips dragged down her neck to where her sweater had fallen off her shoulder.

He left a trail of hot kisses down the curve of her shoulder then back to her collarbone. "You're supposed to be a fucking Ravenclaw," he breathed, continuing his delightful assault of her neck and jaw. "Yet you're so fucking  _ dim  _ when it comes to how much I want you."

Elara could hear her heartbeat in her ears. "You - called me a whore."

" _ My  _ whore."

Elara's eyes snapped open from where they'd been fluttering shut in bliss as his mouth continued to send her to heaven with just love bites and kisses. She was mortified to find the knot in her stomach tightening - she'd  _ liked  _ it.

"You - I -  _ what?"  _ she panted.

"Mine," he hissed, his nose brushing against the curve of her jaw as he pulled away enough to look at her. "You're  _ mine." _

Her words died in her throat.

"No one else can fucking have you," he went on, one hand leaving the bed next to her head and gripping her throat, his thumb under her jaw to keep her head up, as he slid down her body, kissing down the column of her throat. "No one else can fucking  _ touch  _ you _." _

Elara was sure she was going to catch fire and burn.

Her head spun.

Draco didn't seem bothered by her silence. He shifted to slide his hand away from her throat and wedge it between their bodies to reach her thighs.

But as he did so, his hips pressed against hers and Elara cried out in pleasure at the feeling.

Draco pulled back from her neck, his eyes fixing on her face. "You like that?" He did it again, pressing himself right where she needed him.

"Yes - yes," she gasped out and he brought his hand away from where he'd been taking it, resting it back next to her head.

He grinded against her again and Elara's back arched. Draco dropped his head to kiss her throat before she fell back onto the bed, breathing heavily.

The pleasure was white hot in her core. Draco watched her face, intently, obviously enjoying the look of pure pleasure on her face. " _ Fuck.  _ I could do this forever."

Elara lifted her hips to try and create some friction, not very concerned about forever and more worried about  _ now. _

Draco's heavy pants filled her ears as he pushed himself against her again, one large hand sliding to grip her bare thigh and pull it over his hip, only intensifying the feeling.

He was getting lost in the pleasure now too as he found a rhythm, his mouth finding the spot beneath her ear and sucking, harshly.

Elara's nails dug into his back, wishing she'd had the insight to take his shirt off before. Her thoughts were soon drawn away by the vibration of Draco murmuring against her skin.

"All - I - have," he panted against her, his fingers clutching the sheets beside her head, his rings glinting in the light that the water threw off the walls. "You're - all - I -  _ fucking -  _ have."

His hips ground against hers, the friction blinding Elara, momentarily, but his words were a match, setting her alight.

She summoned all her strength and flipped them over, him landing on his back, his hands gripping her waist to keep their hips joined.

Elara planted her hands beside his head, leaning over him, her long curly hair brushing his face as she moved her hips on top of him, biting down on her lip to keep the cries at bay.

" _ Fucking hell,"  _ Draco hissed between his teeth, his head falling back against the pillows for a moment before he propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand moving to tangle in her hair at the back of her head, tugging enough to get her to tilt her head back. " _ Fuck,  _ you're such a good girl."

Elara moaned at the praise, loving how vocal he was being. She made a mental note to get him drunk more in the future.

His mouth began its assault of her neck again, getting harsher the faster Elara moved her hips. She shifted her hands to rest on his chest, whimpering at the perfect way he fit in between her legs.

"Mine." Draco's voice was laced with possessiveness. He jerked his hips to match her pace and Elara gasped out, making him smirk.

She was awash with euphoria - every inch of her was burning, aching for a release each time their hips met.

She made the mistake of looking down at him.

For a second, a different image flashed in front of her eyes.

Draco, lying sprawled out on the watery floor of the bathroom, blood pooling around him, his eyes lifeless, his chest heaving -

Elara gasped and shoved off him, landing unceremoniously beside him on the bed, before she scrambled to her feet, her eyes wide, her heart pounding.

_ What in Merlin was she doing? Was she out of her goddamn mind? _

Draco propped himself up on his elbows, his hair a mess from her fingers, a  _ very  _ prominent tent in his trousers. "What -"

"I'm sorry -" Elara tried to catch her breath. "I'm sorry - you're drunk - I shouldn't have - I have to go."

She headed straight for the door, not risking a glance over her shoulder.

If she saw Draco sprawled out on the bed, messy hair, his lips red from tracing her skin, his shirt half unbuttoned, exposing smooth,  _ delicious  _ skin, his eyes alight with desire and hunger, she knew she'd never be able to leave.

And staying wasn't an option.

  
  



	29. twenty nine

ELARA HATED HERSELF.

She had always prided herself on being a rather confident individual, although she had her insecurities.

But following her realisation that she had exhibited absolutely  _ zero  _ self control around Draco, she dove into a chasm of self-loathing.

Over a month ago, he'd told her he never wanted to speak to her again. He'd used an Unforgivable Curse on Harry, had lashed out at her and called her names, hurt her feelings just because he was - jealous.

And she had let him do whatever he wanted to her a few nights ago in his room.

How could she have let him get away with it? Without any consequences for the things he'd said to her before?

Yet, no matter how wrong she knew it was, her mind kept replaying it.

His groans low in her ear, the sensation of his body moving against hers, his hands cold and rings biting into her skin -

And his  _ voice. _

The way it had rasped in her ear - the words he'd said.

She was all he had.

She remembered the way he'd looked above her, his eyes clouded over due to lust and alcohol, his soft hair tousled as his chest heaved against hers.

And she'd wanted him so bad, it was unbelievable.

Was she really  _ that _ desperate?

" - Miss Jacobs here duel with Mr. Banks while I go attend to some business."

Elara stiffened, jolted out of her thoughts by Snape's bored voice.

The class was on their feet, crowded around Millicent Bulstrode and Padma Patil who had just finished dueling each other.

Elara's stomach sank. She had to duel with  _ Stuart? _

She hadn't even known Snape had noticed their falling out - if he had, that was borderline creepy and kind of  _ sick. _

But she didn't dare speak up in the middle of class and instead, moved into the middle of the classroom as Stuart did the same.

He didn't look very happy about this either - the scowl on his face was telltale enough.

The students began to murmur, placing harmless bets on who would win.

Elara caught a movement by the doorway, slid her eyes over to see Draco leaning against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest, shoulders relaxed.

He was taller than anyone else in class and so she had a clear view of him, despite him being all the way at the back, separate from the others.

His eyes bore into hers before dragging up and down her body, the beginning of a smirk on his lips, and she glanced away, focusing back onto Stuart who was getting into dueling position.

"Bow, Banks," Snape ordered and Stuart gritted his teeth. Both Elara and him bowed.

"Only Expelliarmuses. Begin." With that, Snape turned on his heel and exited the room, for whatever business he had to attend to.

Stuart's hand slashed through the air but Elara blocked his spell, easily, sending two consecutive ones spiralling at his side.

He barely managed to dodge both but came back with a ferocity she hadn't seen before, his movements quick and sharp. Elara ducked, countered another and sent one at his feet.

It barely grazed his shoes, exploding with a pop, and Stuart jumped back.

Elara took the opportunity and flicked her wand, sending an Expelliarmus his way. He swiveled off balance, falling to his knees on the ground to dodge it and sent one her way.

She batted it away, almost bored, and countered another one.

Draco was watching her - she could feel his eyes on her the entire time but had refused to look up at him, her eyes fixed on her opponent.

And when she sent three consecutive spells rapid-fire towards Stuart in a way only Draco had taught her, she couldn't resist catching his eye.

He was smiling, a slow, lazy grin on his lips, and he raised his eyebrows at her, his tongue running along his teeth.

Elara faltered. And it only took that one second for Stuart to jump to his feet and send a spell at her.

She knew she'd lost as soon as she saw it coming towards her but hadn't expected the burning sensation that spread through her shoulder where the hex hit her.

She gasped in pain, falling to her knees, her head spinning, just as Draco pushed off the wall.

They weren't supposed to use any other spell except for Expelliarmus.

And the burn that was now fading in her shoulder was definitely  _ not  _ an Expelliarmus.

The next spell was though and her wand went skittering out of her hand as the students around them hushed in stunned silence.

Elara saw the crowd suddenly part and caught Draco's tall frame striding towards them.

His expression was murderous as he drew his wand and she scrambled to her feet, throwing herself in front of him.

"Move."

Elara tried to ignore the dozen pairs of eyes on them. "It's my duel, Malfoy. Not your turn yet."

She sent him a look that told him to back off and his jaw clenched, his eyes sliding over to Stuart who was standing behind her.

_ Is he fucking insane? _

Everyone would gossip about this - about how Draco Malfoy had come to Elara's defense.

"I  _ said,"  _ Elara ground out under her breath. "Wait your  _ turn _ ."

Draco looked back down at her, disdainfully, before scoffing and pocketing his wand.

He turned and disappeared, the crowd scuttling apart, as he strode through, relaxed and nonchalant.

"You lose, Jacobs," drawled Stuart.

Elara turned to find him holding her wand out to her. She took it, cautiously.

"You did well," she told him before turning and pushing her way through the crowd, her shoulder still aching.

Elara sprinted after Draco, finding him about to turn the corner of the dungeon corridor and grabbed his arm.

"What the  _ fuck  _ was that, Malfoy?" she hissed, jerking him back.

He was unfazed, shrugging her off and continuing his rapid pace. "Go back to class."

"No!" She jogged to keep up with his long strides before swerving in front of him to stop him. "You almost exposed us -"

"Us?" he demanded, narrowing his eyes at her.

"You! Whatever!" Elara said, frustrated. She glanced around at the looks a nearby group of first years were giving her and seized his arms again, dragging him into an empty classroom and slamming the door behind them. "Do you know what people are going to say?"

"Why the  _ fuck  _ should I care?" Draco hissed back, rubbing his arm where her nails had dug in. He stood with his back to the door as Elara paced in front of him.

"Draco Malfoy tries to save Elara Jacobs," she spat, bitterly. "Are you fucking insane? People are going to think there's something going on -"

"Well, there's nothing going on so you don't have to fucking worry about being seen with me."

"None of this would've happened - Wait,  _ what?"  _ Elara gaped at him before shaking her head. 

He looked at her, emotionless. "It's pretty obvious."

Elara laughed, picking up a coin on the desk and then chucking it at him. He caught it without a glance. "You're the one who's so fucking touchy about being seen with me!" she protested, folding her arms across her chest.

"I don't have time for this, Jacobs," Draco rolled his eyes and grasped the doorknob behind him.

"No!" She whipped out her wand and shot a spell at the doorknob, making it heat up. Draco hissed in pain, dropped his hand.

"You little witch," he hissed and she looked at him. He was glaring at her, his silver eyes dangerous, his jaw tight.

"You think people aren't going to talk? You don't realise that just by you coming to my defense, people are going to make up rumours and -"

"Why do you fucking care?" Draco threw up his hands, let them drop back to his side. "No one's going to truly believe you're fucking a Death Eater's son."

Elara's breath hitched in her throat. That tragic look in his eyes was back.

But she wouldn't fall for it. She would not hold him and whisper to him how he was not his father. She would not kiss away his pains.

Not after everything he'd said that night in the infirmary.

"They better not," she hissed, stepping closer, her dark eyes flashing. "Or I'll make you pay. That's a promise."

She reached for the door knob.

His hand shot out, grabbed her arm and he pulled her close, his lips to her ear. "Don't fucking play with me, Elara. I can make your life miserable."

Elara's nails dug into her palms.

_ Do you have any fucking idea how much I wanted you to stay? _

_ You're all I fucking have. _

_ Mine. _

His words from that night in her room echoed in her mind, so in contrast to what he was saying now.

Draco Malfoy was the definition of mental whiplash.

She tilted her chin up, met his eyes stoically. "Get in line."

With that, she ripped her arm from his grip and left the classroom.

|

Elara was going insane.

Because of a stupid  _ ball. _

It had been all people had been talking about for  _ weeks  _ now.

And she had no one to go with.

That didn't necessarily bother her - she'd gone to balls alone before - but it bothered her  _ immensely  _ when she found out Draco was taking Pansy.

And so, that automatically meant that she  _ had  _ to have a date.

But considering that she'd been so focused on Draco for the past eight months, it seemed she'd driven away any of the other suitors who would've been interested in her.

And the ball was next week.

"You can always go with me if you want to," Luna was telling her as they sat in Charms Class. "I think it'd be fun."

"Aren't you going with Neville?" Elara asked, looking sideways at her.

"We can always go as a trio."

Elara stifled a smile. "Luna, you're too sweet for this world."

"What did I say?"

In Potions, Elara was glad not to be paired up with Draco again - but immediately, wished she had been when she saw him and Pansy bent over the cauldron together.

He didn't spare her a glance and she could do nothing but watch in envy as he brushed Pansy's silky dark hair out of her face, tucked it behind her ear.

She leaned on him from time to time and it made Elara want to stuff her own face into the burning cauldron in front of her.

When the class was finally over, Elara bid goodbye to Parvati and snatched her bag up, storming out of the room.

The chest she collided with was hard and bony and she gasped, stumbling back, only for a hand to grasp her elbow.

"Harry?" she inquired, furrowing her eyebrows. "Were you waiting for me?"

Harry and her had made up shortly after the fight she had with Draco in the infirmary but she still hadn't returned to the sessions in the Room of Requirement, feeling too swamped with work to bother.

"I was," Harry said, sheepishly, making sure she was steady before pulling away - but not before Draco exited the classroom.

Elara watched his silver eyes fall on Harry and her.

"What's up?" Elara asked, reaching to brush an imaginary piece of lint off Harry's robes.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Draco slanting himself against the wall, settling in to watch.

She almost smirked in triumph.

Harry seemed unaware of Draco's presence nearby. "I just wanted to ask - if you had someone to go with to the Ball."

Elara looked at him, questioningly. "Something happen with you and Ginny?"

Harry shook his head. "Oh, Merlin, no. We're fine. She's just got dreadfully sick and can't attend next week. She heard that you weren't going with anyone either and told me to ask you - as friends, of course."

Harry winced, suddenly, reaching up to touch his scar, quickly.

Just then, Draco pushed off the wall, stalked closer to them. "Scar bothering you, Potter?" he sneered as he approached. "Still having nightmares about poor Mumsy and Daddy?"

Harry clenched his fists. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"Or was it Diggory this time?" Draco taunted, coming to a stop next to Elara and looking down at Harry with a smirk. "Honestly, I don't see why anyone wants to hang around you, seeing as you always end up getting them killed -"

"I'd love to go to the ball with you, Harry," Elara interrupted, stepping forward and linking her arm through her friend's. "Would you like to coordinate colours?"

She looked back at Draco whose sneer had slid off his face. Instead, his eyes were two glittering diamonds, hard as stone. Satisfaction purred in Elara's chest.

She could see the rage, the jealousy all over his features - his usual mask of cold indifference dropping for just a moment.

Elara shot him a sweet smile over her shoulder and continued to walk with Harry.

  
  



	30. thirty

THE BALL WAS TONIGHT.

Elara and Harry had decided not to colour coordinate - since Harry didn't have many options to choose from.

"You'll look handsome whatever you wear," Elara had told him, timing her words just as they passed behind Draco and Nott at the Slytherin table at breakfast.

She had caught the subtle movement of Draco's hand tightening around his fork.

But now, she had to deal with the nerve-wracking, impossible task that one must go through when one attends a Ball.

Picking what to wear.

She'd been thinking about it all morning - red dress, black dress, pink dress?

And it didn't help that her friends were just as confused.

"I think I'll wear purple," Tracy was saying as they left Herbology "Do you think that'll make my hair look funny?" She fluffed her auburn locks.

"I say wear black," Cho told her as they trudged away from the greenhouse. "I think I'll wear midnight blue. My Nan got me it -"

"Then I guess I'm wearing midnight blue too," Stuart said as he caught up with them. He avoided Elara, carefully, instead squeezing in between Cho and Tracy. "Gotta match with my favourite girl."

Elara's eyes almost bulged out of her sockets.  _ Cho and Stuart? _

She glanced at Tracy to gauge her reaction but her friend seemed unbothered and not surprised at all.

She'd probably known. It seemed only Elara had been left out of the loop.

Technically, she  _ had  _ done this to herself.

"What are you going to wear, El?" Tracy asked, peering at her.

"I don't know," Elara answered, kicking a pebble and watching it skid. "I really have no idea."

"Elara!"

The group stopped and turned to find Pansy Parkinson, clambering up after them, her long sleek hair swinging behind her in a ponytail.

"Go on," Elara said to her friends - and Stuart. "She probably has a question about Herbology."

Her friends nodded and went on their way, still murmuring about what they'd be wearing.

"Hey, Pansy," Elara greeted as the Slytherin girl stopped beside her, panting slightly from sprinting after her. "What's up? Did I leave something in the greenhouse?"

"No - no, nothing," Pansy answered, hefting her bag more securely over her shoulder. She was so pretty Elara almost sighed.

If Draco didn't date her, maybe Elara would.

But then again, Draco  _ was  _ probably dating her - as far as Elara could tell from his frequent actions of pushing Pansy's hair out of her face, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, placing one large hand on the small of her back to guide her out of the classroom.

It had all made Elara's insides itch.

"I just - I have an idea - and I really want to share it with you," Pansy breathed, brushing past her to continue walking up the slope. Elara followed.

"I didn't know you were that interested in Herb -"

"Not Herbology!" Pansy interjected, her eyes shining playfully. "For the Ball. Tonight. You're going, right? With Potter?"

Elara nodded, demurely, puzzled. "Yes but - but how did you know?"

Pansy rolled her eyes, a knowing smile on her face. "It's what's got Draco in such a bad mood the entire week. All he rambles on about is how you and Potter are both  _ saints  _ made for each other."

Elara's cheeks heated. "Oh - I don't -"

"Don't play dumb, Elara," Pansy said, digging her elbow into her ribs. "I don't know what it's like from your side but I know Draco  _ definitely  _ has a crush."

"Yeah, on you." The words slipped past her lips before she could stop them, even as her chest warmed at Pansy's words.

Pansy snorted, the breeze picking up strands of her hair that had come loose and blowing them into her face. "I wish. He's purely platonic with me. Yeah, he's down for a good fuck every once in a while but - apart from that, he treats me like I'm his best friend and nothing more."

Elara found it increasingly difficult to swallow. "And you... you don't -"

"Oh, I'm in love with him," Pansy said, cheerfully. "Have been crazy about him since first year. But I'm not upset about it. He's a troubled kid - I'm grateful to even have him as my friend. Plus, there are  _ so  _ many other boys and girls and Indigo is looking  _ quite  _ attractive these days -"

Elara almost gaped at her. While she'd been burning with jealousy at every move Draco made on Pansy, Pansy had cheerfully accepted that he was crushing on Elara and moved on with her life.

It all put things into perspective.

"Indigo?" Elara said, dazed. "Oh - she's - she's straight."

"Oh, blimey, I thought I had one for once."

They finally entered the castle and Pansy grasped Elara's arm, turning her to face her. "But I'm diverging. I came to tell you that I have a dress you might want to wear."

Elara raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yes," Pansy said with a wicked smile. "And I can guarantee that it will bring Malfoy to his knees."

|

Pansy had been right.

As Elara stared at herself in the mirror in the dorm bathroom, she felt like she was looking at a different person.

Her normally wild hair was tamed, the front strands pinned back, tumbling down her back in waves. Luna had spent close to twenty minutes trying to wrestle each stray hair into place.

Her cheeks had a pinkish hue - one that made her long, dark eyelashes stand out against her creamy skin, the light freckles across her face standing out in the lighting of the bathroom.

But the dress - the dress was  _ everything. _

It was long and silky, hugging her waist and hips, the V-shaped neckline low. It was backless, knotted at the back in a simple bow, that would be awfully easy to untie and leave her naked if it hadn't been for the thin straps on her shoulders. A slit ran down the side of her right leg.

And the best part? It was emerald green.

Pansy had even lent her accessories - a necklace with a silver snake charm that settled nicely low on her chest, only visible because of how low the neckline of the dress was.

Elara had managed to dig out silver heels to go with it and a small diamond bracelet encircled her wrist while a matching choker wrapped around her neck.

She looked like a Slytherin Princess, through and through.

"Holy shit!" Indigo gaped at her from across the bathroom where she'd entered. "Where the hell did you get that dress from?"

"A friend," smiled Elara, fastening two dangly diamond earrings into her ears and checking her lipstick before turning to face Indigo. "You look beautiful."

Indigo turned to inspect herself in the mirror, smoothing down her blood red dress and tilting her head. "Do you think the black jewels are too much?"

Elara shook her head, taking in the necklace of black diamonds and the similar earrings. "It's such a badass touch. Jason will be floored."

Indigo grinned, red lips splitting into a smile. "I'd say something about Harry but I don't think Ginny would be too happy about that."

Elara giggled.

|

When Elara walked into the ballroom on Harry's arm, it was like the whole hall hushed.

As they walked in, Harry oblivious to the whispers around them, Elara acutely aware of them, some of the students turned to stare.

" _ With Harry Potter?" _

_ "I bet Ginny and him had a tiff. She was always too fiery for him -" _

_ "She's wearing Slytherin colours too! With Harry Potter!" _

But there was only one person Elara was looking for.

To her dismay, she couldn't spot a tall, blond Slytherin anywhere in the crowd and decided that she would just have to enjoy the evening without him.

"Elara - you look - wow." Hermione was in front of them, looking elegant in a long maroon dress, her hair pulled back out of her face.

Elara began to return the compliment when the Weasley twins appeared next to Hermione, grinning. "Bloody hell, do you know who this girl is, Fred?"

"Not a clue, George. Do you?"

"No one I know. We should probably report to Dumbledore that there's been a breach of security and a rather  _ promiscuous  _ -"

"Oh, shut up, you two," Freya was at George's side, sliding a hand through his. "Elara, that's definitely not one of your dresses."

"A friend lent it to me," Elara replied, gazing down at her shimmering dress. "She thought the colour would look good."

"Blimey, does it look  _ good,"  _ Harry agreed with a friendly smile.

Elara sent him one back. "So? Shall we get punch?"

Elara was talking to Luna and Neville about half an hour later when she spotted the doors to the ballroom opening again.

And somehow, she knew, her eyes automatically drawn to them like a magnet.

In stepped Draco Malfoy with Pansy Parkinson on his arm.

And  _ god, _ were they a power couple.

Elara watched, in awe, as they strode in, Pansy in a black dress that brushed the floor, the sleeves wrapping around her shoulders. The dress seemed to glitter in the ballroom lights and her dark hair was pulled up into a sleek bun, her pretty features complimented with maroon lipstick and a dark blush.

She looked like a Greek Goddess - and Draco, a Greek God, despite his usual black attire, complimented with a black tie, his hair shining.

"Close your mouth, Elara. You're drooling." George was at her ear, whispering. "Although I don't know over who: Parkinson or Malfoy."

Elara's mouth snapped shut and she dug her elbow, sharply, into George's ribs, glad that Luna and Neville were too absorbed in getting punch to notice.

"Ow!" George exclaimed, moving back.

And then, from across the ballroom, Draco's eyes met Elara's.

It was like the whole world dissolved.

She was suddenly self-conscious as she watched his silver eyes lock on hers before drifting down. And down. And down. Before making their trip back up, suddenly a lot darker then they'd been a moment before. His gaze was red hot, burning into her and making every fibre of her tingle.

Elara summoned her courage and did the same, looking him up and down slowly before sinking her teeth into her lower lip.

His hand flexed by his side.

"Oh, Merlin's beard, this is straight up sex -"

Elara jerked out of her daze, elbowed George again.

Luna and Neville finally returned with their punch and Neville held one out to Elara. "I wasn't sure if you wanted some."

"Thanks, Neville," Elara smiled, gratefully, and lifted the glass to her lips, her eyes sliding back to Draco who was now looking at her from over Pansy's head as they stood and talked with Nott, Zabini and their dates.

She raised an eyebrow at him. He let his eyes drop, resting on the long slit down her dress that exposed her leg, before turning away, a smirk playing at his lips.

He was  _ gorgeous _ .

"Ready to dance, Elara?" Harry was in front of her, holding out his hand, and she finished off her punch, placing it on the nearby table before smiling.

"I'd be honoured," she replied, smoothly, slipping her hand into his and dropping into a quick curtsey.

He led her onto the floor at the same time Draco brought Pansy who flashed Elara a wink.

"Looking good, Jacobs," Pansy said, cheekily, as Draco slid one large hand to her waist. "What do you say we get out of here after we're done dancing with these stupid blokes?"

Harry smiled, despite being in Malfoy's presence, and Elara startled when she felt his hand rest on her waist.

"My dorm or yours?" Elara bantered and she heard Draco scoff.

"Mind if I join?" he purred and even though he wasn't even that close to Elara, she felt goosebumps erupt on her skin.

"Gross," Pansy quipped before winking at Elara once more.

The dance begun.

Harry was a good dancer - although he had nothing on Draco who moved so gracefully Elara could hardly take her eyes off him.

And it seemed Draco couldn't stop looking at her either.

They'd meet eyes, Draco over Pansy's head, Elara over Harry's shoulder, and time seemed to slow for a second as silver met brown. Frosted glass against earth.

Elara's breath would catch in her throat every time and when the corner of Draco's lips turned up in a smirk, she nearly collapsed.

_ Keep it together. _

She dragged her eyes away from Draco's, focused on Harry's green ones.

But when Harry leaned in to whisper something into Elara's ear, Draco's eyes went dark, his gaze flicking to where Harry's hand had moved to curve around her back, resting on her bare skin.

And when the dance was over and the couples left the floor to get some more punch, Elara settled in next to Harry, sliding her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder, smiling at a joke he made.

When she glanced at Draco, his jaw was clenched as he sipped from a glass.

Elara wanted to make him pay - to make him suffer for the things he'd said to her.

So she did - even when Harry excused himself early to go back to the common room to be with Ginny.

Elara's entire attire seemed to draw the gazes of all the boys who didn't have a date at the ball - especially the Slytherins.

She thought she saw even Zabini look her up and down.

So when Paul Flint - Marcus Flint's player of a brother and also, Elara's partner in Care of Magical Creatures - approached her where she was standing on her own, drinking punch, she didn't stop him.

And when he started to flirt with her and insinuate leaving together, she didn't protest.

And when he leaned forward and placed a hand on her back, pulling her closer and moving his fingers to wipe some punch off her lip, she only gave him a sly smile, well aware of Draco's searing gaze on them.

Paul was certainly handsome - in a rugged, dark-haired kind of way - and he had a brilliant smile, white teeth, dimples and all.

So Elara wasn't  _ particularly  _ bothered by his presence - especially when she saw Draco lean down to murmur something in Pansy's ear, his lips grazing her ear, his hand dangerously low on her back.

"... let's get out of here?" Paul was saying, looking down at her with an award-winning smile.

Elara looked up at him then back to Draco who had turned to look at her. She gazed up at Paul with big doe eyes. "Okay."

Paul grabbed her hand - he wasn't wearing any rings, how disappointing - and began to lead her from the ballroom.

She saw Draco crush a paper cup in his fist.

Elara wasn't sure what happened next - maybe it was the alcohol in her system or just the fact that she felt better than she had in a while by playing with Draco - but suddenly, she found herself pressed up against a wall  _ somewhere  _ and Paul was kissing her neck.

He was okay, she guessed, but Draco was  _ so  _ much better with his talented mouth. She missed his mouth.

The duality of it. How rough he could be, teeth clashing, biting on her lip and then how gentle, all warm tongue and soft lips.

Elara gasped when Paul sucked on her skin.

"I'll make you feel so good," Paul murmured as she dug her fingers into his hair. "So, so good, Elena."

"Elara," she corrected but he had already killed the mood. She'd been partners with him the whole year in Care of Magical Creatures and he couldn't even remember her  _ name. _

She sighed and moved her hands to push him away, about to make an excuse as to why she suddenly didn't want to do this.

But then she caught sight of white blond hair on the opposite side of the hallway.

Silver eyes, filled with mirth, looked at her, pressed up against the wall, Paul's head buried in her neck.

Draco was here.

And he did  _ not _ look happy.


	31. thirty one

DRACO WAS SEETHING.

Elara could see it even from where she was, watching with wide eyes as his hand flexed, repeatedly, by his side, like he was trying not to storm over there and ram his fist into Paul's face multiple times.

Elara silently begged him not to as her blood rushed in her ears, Paul continuing to kiss her neck, one hand sliding to the back of her dress.

A muscle in Draco's jaw twitched and she saw him clench his hand into a fist, take half a step forward and then stop short.

He looked away from her, seeming to compose his thoughts, barely restrained.

Paul moved to her jaw.

Then, Draco dragged his eyes back, still swirling with rage, and flexed his hand one last time by his side before turning and vanishing.

Elara jolted into movement, shoving Paul off her. He stumbled back, startled, and she sent him an apologetic look, already picking up the skirt of her dress to make it easier to move.

"I'm sorry. I can't," she rushed to say before taking off after Draco, as fast as she could in her heels.

She knew where he was going as soon as he turned into the corridor that stretched away from the ballroom.

By the time she'd climbed the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, Elara's feet were aching.

Draco was standing by the railing, gripping it on either side, his head bent.

She took a step forward, swallowing the knot in her throat to try and get the words out. "You have no right to be mad at me."

He scoffed, not startled by her presence, and didn't turn to face her. But when he spoke, his voice was rough.

"I'm not mad at you."

"You have absolutely no right -" Elara stopped herself, surprised. "What?"

He took a deep breath, pushed off the railing and turned to face her, leaning back against it, his arms crossed over his chest, shoulders relaxed. "I said I'm not mad at you."

Elara stared at him, speechless and suddenly flustered. "Oh." She stared at his impassive face and turned to leave, gripping the railing of the staircase. "Okay then, I'll just -"

"Don't you dare leave." The dominance in his voice made her pause before she swiveled around again. "Come here."

Elara shivered at his tone - but played it off due to the weather - and took tentative steps towards him, not wanting to get too close.

He watched her come closer with sharp eyes, dragging his gaze up and down her, languidly, his ankles crossed. When she was within reaching distance of him, she stopped.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Awfully far away."

She ran her hands up and down her bare arms, the breeze coasting by. "I don't particularly want to be hexed today."

Draco's lips turned upwards and he tilted his head at her. "I wasn't thinking of hexing you."

She glared at him, trying to pull herself together. "If you're going to yell at me, do it now."

His eyebrows raised.

"Stop beating around the bush," Elara muttered. "Just get it over with."

"Why aren't you with Potter?"

Elara stared at him. "Harry?"

"Yes," said Draco, faintly irritated. "He  _ did  _ happen to have his mouth attached to your neck like a fucking leech last I saw. I do wonder how you got away."

Elara blinked at him before it dawned on her. Both Paul and Harry were dark-haired and in the dim lighting and the distance at which Draco had been standing, Paul must have looked exactly like Harry.

Elara decided not to correct him.

"For fear that you would punch his face in," she said, lightly, "I excused myself."

Draco's eyes darkened. His facade was breaking. "So you would've stayed, had I not showed up?"

Elara looked up at him through her lashes. "Did I look like I wanted to leave?"

She thought she had the upper hand until she saw the glint in Draco's eyes as he lifted a casual shoulder, looking away to run his eyes over the view. "You looked positively  _ desperate  _ to get away," he said in a low voice before he dragged his eyes back to hers. "Didn't feel good, did it?"

He took a step closer, off the railing, his arms uncrossing so he could lift his hand and drag a knuckle down her cheek. His ring was cold against her skin.

Elara's legs almost gave out but she stared up at him, meeting his gaze, boldly.

"I know what you look like when you're lost in pleasure," Draco murmured, dropping his head to look into her eyes. "I know the little gasps, the small whimpers, the fucking _moans_." His breath dragged across her cheekbone. "You're _very_ vocal."

It took all of Elara's self control not to strip him there and then. Or slap him, she couldn't decide.

He let his hand fall and she took a step back.

"Why Potter?" he asked, all playfulness gone from his voice. "Out of  _ everybody  _ you could have, why Saint  _ fucking  _ Potter?"

Elara breathed in, deeply, collecting herself. "I don't see any reason why not."

Draco gritted his teeth. "Don't fucking act like I didn't tell you why."

Her mind flashed to New Year's.

_ The only thing I'm fucking jealous of is that he has _ you.

"I thought that sentiment must've expired after you called me a whore and told me you never wanted to talk to me again," she said, dryly, feeling her chest ache at just the memory of the night at the infirmary.

"So you pulled  _ this _ shit?" Draco jabbed an accusing finger towards rhe stairwell. "You decide to go to the ball with Potter and let him  _ fucking  _ feel you up in a fucking alcove?"

His mask was slipping off; she could see the jealousy rising in his eyes.

"Yes," Elara replied, calmly. "I did."

Draco laughed, humourlessly, turning to grip the railing again. Elara stared at his back.

"This -" He whirled back around, his eyes alive with anger. "This is your way of getting your fucking  _ revenge _ ?"

Elara bristled and seethed back at him. "You think I was going to let you get off with no fucking consequences for what you did to me? For what you said?"

Draco stared at her, his eyes seeming to go dim before he realised what she was saying. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

Elara stared, resolutely, back at him, wondering what she'd said that had made him so mad. She heaved a sigh, frustrated, and turned on her heel. "I don't have time for this."

She had only gotten two steps before Draco's large hand gripped her elbow, jerking her back. She gasped as she was pulled to his chest, his hands wrapping around her wrists and pressing them against his chest to keep her in place.

His eyes were rage personified as he forced her to meet his eyes, enveloping both her wrists in one hand so that the other could grab her chin, roughly, and turn her face to his.

"You think I got off with no consequences?" he hissed, his tone low. "You think I got off with no  _ fucking  _ consequences?"

Elara struggled to get out of his vise-like grip, trying to jerk her face away from his hand but he only tightened it around her jaw. Her heart was pounding against her ribs, painfully.

"You think I don't fucking  _ hate  _ myself for letting you walk away?" His voice was sending shards of ice into her heart. "You think I didn't punch my fist into a wall so  _ fucking  _ hard I split my bloody  _ knuckles _ because I'd let you leave?"

Elara's breaths were coming out in short, choppy gasps and she tried again to free herself from him.

"You think I didn't lie in my fucking bed,  _ wishing  _ that you were next to me?" He followed her face as she tried to turn it, jerked it back, rings digging into her skin. "You think I didn't get myself off,  _ hating  _ that I couldn't come find you and have you do it for me?"

Elara's chest rose and fell, rapidly. "Draco, let me go -"

He did, suddenly and she stumbled back, her heart racing. She should leave, turn and leave and never look back - no matter how vulnerable he was being.

But she wanted to hear more.

"No fucking consequences," Draco scoffed, turning away and ripping a hand through his hair, tousling it. "No  _ fucking  _ consequences."

Elara tried to steady herself, focused on her breathing.

He turned on her again, a hurricane of anger and disgust - which she soon realised wasn't directed at her, but at  _ himself. _

"You think it was  _ easy _ ?" he rasped, his hand spasming by his side before he curled into a fist and whirled back around, bringing it down hard on the railing in frustration. "You think it was fucking  _ easy  _ to sit next you in Potions and not touch you? To not even  _ look  _ at you because if I did, I would lose all self-control and do something - something you'd hate?"

Draco pushed on, stony eyes meeting hers. "You think it was  _ a walk in the park  _ to see you and Potter together? Dancing at the fucking ball, whispering to each other and - and  _ laughing."  _ His eyes flashed. "Fucking laughing. Why the fuck were you laughing? He isn't even  _ funny _ !"

Elara would've smiled if the atmosphere hadn't been so intense.

"And then to see him press you up against that wall and touch you the way only  _ I  _ should. The way nobody else but  _ me  _ should be allowed to."

He breathed in, sharply, conflict raging behind his eyes.

"You think I got off with no consequences?" He scoffed. "As if I don't spend every fucking  _ minute  _ of every day thinking about you. As if you haven't taken up my entire life - as if you haven't wormed your way into my  _ fucking _ head!"

He slammed his fist into the wall beside him, shoulders heaving. Elara wanted to reach out, thought better of it.

"As if I haven't been  _ craving  _ you," he said, quieter but just as intense, his voice rough. His back was to her and she could make out the muscles rippling underneath his shirt. "As if I haven't been  _ craving  _ your fucking presence - not just to fuck you but to -" He let out another scoff, as if he couldn't believe he was about to say this. "To fucking  _ hold  _ you. The way you did to me that night in the bathroom."

Elara felt as if she'd been Petrified. Her muscles were frozen. Not even her tongue felt like it would move.

"Do you know how fucking  _ pathetic  _ that is?" Draco demanded, turning and moving an inch closer. "Do you know how fucking  _ pathetic  _ I feel for - for wanting to fucking - hold you? To fucking - wipe away your tears and kiss you and - and fuck you into my bed so hard you forget about all your problems?"

Elara's chest felt fuzzy and the wind picked up strands of her hair. Draco's gaze flickered to one that brushed her cheek and he looked like he wanted to push it away.

He seemed to think better of it.

"You make me want to take care of you. You make me want to - to help you and keep you safe and -  _ fuck!" _

He rammed his fist into the wall again and Elara jumped. When he pulled back, his knuckles were bloody. He didn't seem fazed.

He laughed, a cold, mirthless laugh, full of self hatred. "Because for some  _ fucking  _ reason that not even fucking  _ Merlin  _ himself can understand, I _ want  _ you."

He turned to face her fully, silver eyes alight with an emotion she couldn't place. "In every sense of the fucking word, I  _ want  _ you."

Elara's heart skidded to a stop as she looked at him, wide-eyed.

"You drive me insane," Draco breathed, stepping closer. Elara's breathing picked up. "You're picking apart everything I am, piece by  _ fucking  _ piece and you're driving me fucking  _ insane _ ."

Elara couldn't drag her eyes from his as he glowered at her, as if she'd done all this on purpose. "But of course, I got off with no  _ fucking  _ consequences, right?"

He seemed to deflate then, all the emotion draining out from him, leaving his expression unreadable. But he didn't turn away - didn't take his eyes off Elara's.

His chest was heaving, strands of his hair jolted loose and falling over his forehead, looking silver in the moonlight. He didn't seem to be bothered by the cold or his split knuckles; he just kept looking at Elara like he wanted to throttle her and devour her all at once.

Elara recognised the look in his eyes. He had said what he needed to say. He was handing it over to her.

The ball was in her court.

  
  



	32. thirty two

ELARA FELT AS IF THE ENTIRE WORLD RESTED ON HER SHOULDERS.

But it was just Draco's - and somehow, that was everything.

She knew if she brushed him off now, he'd crumble. He'd retreat inwards and lock himself up in that cage of ice and indifference and never show himself to her again.

But she didn't want to even think about what would happen if she told him the truth.

How much she thought about him. How much she wanted him. How everything he'd just said had awakened something in her that she'd been forcing down since that cold night in Hogsmeade.

The fact that she may be falling for him.

But she couldn't tell him that - even when he'd been so open and so vulnerabe with her.

Half of her was sure he'd backtrack immediately, laugh in her face once she admitted it, call her a whore again -

So instead, she said, "It wasn't Harry."

Draco blinked, his hand slowly unfurling from the fist it'd been in. He flexed his knuckles, as if realising for the first time that they were bruised and bloody. "What?"

"It wasn't Harry in the..." She swallowed hard, shivered as the breeze drifted by. "Corridor. You know, kissing -"

"I really don't need to be reminded," Draco cut her off, dryly. "Then who the fuck was it?"

Elara flushed pink. "Paul - Paul Flint."

Draco stared at her. "You were going to fuck the Head Boy of my house?"

"I didn't even know he was Head Boy!" Elara protested, indignantly. "Also - is he even any good?"

Draco made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and Elara smiled. "I'm kidding."

She cleared her throat, wondering what to say. She didn't think she would be able to get the words out, even if she tried.

Draco seemed to see her dilemma. "You don't have to say anything," he said, softly, and she marveled at how much strength that must have taken for him. For him to be so vulnerable and not expect anything back.

Elara nodded, slowly, wrapping her arms around herself and Draco's eyes dimmed. He looked ready to leave.

Elara didn't want him to. She'd always thought  _ he'd _ been the one terrible at expressing his feelings but here she was, unable to get a serious word out, after he had launched into a whole monologue about her.

"Draco," she started, dropping her arms away from herself and stepping towards him, carefully.

"Why are you not at the Ball?" He was retreating into his shell again - all emotion wiped from his face.

Elara's stomach sank. "Why don't you take a guess?" she asked, gently, moving another step forward. "Why am I here, freezing my arse off in the cold, instead of back in the ballroom, warm and drinking punch and dancing?"

He didn't answer; only looked at her, warily.

"What could be here that I want that isn't at the Ball?" she pressed on, coming to a stop in front of him and tilting her head back to look at him.

Draco's eyes flicked between hers and he released a shaky breath. "I don't remember being a ' _ what'. _ "

Elara shook her head and when he tried to look away, cupped his face and brought his gaze back to hers. "Draco - what I - what I feel for you -" She hesitated, felt him inhale, sharply. "What I feel for you is complicated and confusing and -"

"I know," he breathed, looking at her with suddenly bright eyes. "Trust me, I know."

"But it's not because of your father or your last name or your house."

It was a simple phrase but she could tell it had hit him straight in the chest; it was written in the twitch of the muscle in his jaw, the spasm of his fingers.

She knew it meant everything to him.

"Everything that goes on here," she went on, softly, not tearing her eyes from his, "is because of  _ you  _ and  _ I.  _ Nothing else comes into play. Okay?"

Upon seeing the look on his face, she clarified. "Although I would love to have your last name one day, it's not something I judge you by today."

As soon as the words rolled off her tongue, she wished she'd never said them. It wasn't the time to joke - he'd snap at her, shove her away. Draco and jokes about marriage didn't seem to mix well.

It had only been a joke -

"Elara Malfoy." His voice was lower now, a rough edge to it that made Elara burn. "Sounds nice."

Elara's anxiety slipped away. "You? Taking a joke? That's new."

She stepped back just as he said, "Must be the dress." He looked her up and down again, a slow gaze that set her alight, his eyes burning into her. "Is there a reason you're wearing Slytherin colours?"

Elara breathed out a laugh, her mind still reeling from everything that had just occurred. "Let's just say I was trying to impress someone."

Draco scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Someone? You impressed half the fucking ballroom."

Elara sent him a sideway glance, hearing the possessiveness creep into his tone. "But the real question is," she purred, "did I impress you?"

Draco's eyes searched her face as she continued, "You're the only one I'm trying to impress."

His tongue darted out, wet his lips, and he reached for her.

She let him rest his hand on her cheek, dragging his thumb across her cheekbone. She sighed, something in her chest expanding and warming her to the bone.

"Consider me," he murmured, brushing aside a strand of her hair. " _ Thoroughly  _ impressed." The corner of his lips quirked up. "Although I  _ would _ like to see what you look like with it off."

Elara rolled her eyes but was unable to keep the smile off her face. "You're insufferable."

Her pulse was still pounding from Draco's speech and the butterflies in her stomach wouldn't stop fluttering. She didn't think she'd ever get tired of the feeling he gave her.

She brushed past him, rested her forearms on the railing, looking out over the grounds.

He joined her. "I have something for you."

Elara's eyebrows shot up and she turned to look at him as he snapped his fingers, a small, emerald green pouch appearing inside his palm.

Elara's eyebrows furrowed as she took it from him, feeling the soft, velvet material under her fingertips. She glanced up at him. "Draco, there was no need for a -"

He grasped her face in his hands, smoothed out the frown on her face before stepping back. "Just open it."

The blood rushed in her ears as she loosened the opening of the pouch and tipped the ring out into her hand.

Her breath caught in her throat, her knees weakening, as she looked down at the silver snake ring with emeralds for eyes. The same one she'd complimented when she'd gone to see Draco in the infirmary.

"It's the counterpart of mine," Draco said, quietly, lifting his hand to show her his, wrapped around his index. "My mother used to wear the one you have when I was younger but she stopped a long time ago."

Elara couldn't seem to form words, her pulse beating hard in her neck. "No - I can't - This is your family heirloom -"

"And I want you to have it," Draco interrupted, looking down at her. His eyes were unreadable.

Elara struggled to speak. "But - But your father will -"

"He won't miss it," Draco replied, easily. He flexed his hand again, wincing, slightly, as he looked down at his split knuckles. "It's not really a Malfoy heirloom. It comes from my mother's side - the Blacks."

Elara's stomach somersaulted as she turned the glittering ring over in her fingers before sliding it onto her right index finger - right where Draco had his. "It's - It's so beautiful."

She met his eyes, reaching a tentative hand out to take his good one. "You really didn't have to."

He shrugged, casually, as if he'd just given her a pen and not a heirloom that had been in his family for centuries. "I realised I never got you a Christmas present," he said, lightly, before looking down at their intertwined hands. He dragged his thumb across her knuckles and the feeling made Elara melt.

He let go of her hand, turning to lean on the railing again, forearms pressed against it.

But Elara didn't turn - she just kept looking at his side profile, the straight nose, sharp jaw and messy hair. And pink,  _ pink  _ lips.

Elara would never be able to explain the giddy, bubbling feeling that rose in her chest, that spread outwards and made all of her tingle. It was a sensation only Draco could give her and  _ Merlin,  _ was it addicting.

She stepped forward, chest brushing his shoulder and he looked over at her, questioningly, before she grasped the sides of his face and kissed him.

He was caught off guard but responded almost instantly, his mouth fitting against hers like they were made for each other.

His lips were warm and soft - she didn't know how when they were out in the cold - but it was intoxicating and she felt tendrils of electricity fizzle down to her core.

He didn't move off the railing, keeping his arms over it, his hands loosely clasped together but kissed her with such intensity she felt she was floating.

It had been so long since they'd kissed - he hadn't kissed her the night in his bedroom and they hadn't even talked for the two months before that.

Draco finally lifted his hand furthest from her and brought it to her cheek, sliding his tongue into her mouth.

Elara sighed in bliss and he pushed off the railing, turning to face her at last, raising his other hand so he was cradling her face now.

The rings on his fingers were cold and Elara dragged the one he'd given her down his jaw.

Rings. How she loved rings.

Suddenly, she gasped, pulling back. "Wait - wait -"

Draco pulled away, immediately, looking at her with dark eyes, confused.

"I have something for you too," Elara breathed, catching her breath. "But it's in - it's in the common room."

"Later," he said and was moving to kiss her again. She let him give her one last lingering kiss before she pulled away again, his mouth straining to be near hers.

"Now," she told him, looking up at him with bright eyes. "Come on, you'll love it."

He rolled his eyes but the good-natured glimmer was not lost on Elara. "Fine."

|

The castle was empty - everyone was at the Ball - so it was relatively easy to get to the Ravenclaw Tower without being seen.

"How exactly are you going to sneak me in?" Draco had asked as she'd pulled him along through the deserted corridors of the castle.

"I don't need to," Elara said, cheerfully. "The first, second and third years will all be asleep in their beds - they always are at this time - and everybody else is at the Ball. And we don't have the Fat Lady to tell on us if we sneak someone in - our eagle knocker only asks riddles and if you get it right - "

Draco had pushed her into an alcove to kiss her then, his hands gripping her waist, and she keened into him, a weak protest, as his mouth slanted against hers.

"Forget I asked," he breathed, kissing her jaw before stepping back again.

She linked their hands again, not wanting to be far from him for long, and set off again.

"You can break me easily without touching me or seeing me. What am I?"

Elara stared at the eagle knocker, struggling to concentrate when Draco's thumb was dragging over the back of hers and his lips were brushing against her neck.

He'd barely been able to keep his hands off her the whole way here and it had made Elara's brain slow and murky.

"Elara Jacobs," Draco murmured, answering the riddle as he pressed his mouth harder against the spot where her jaw joined her neck. "Just the thought of me is enough to bring her to her knees."

He smelled intoxicatingly like cologne and green apples and it caused something to curl in Elara's stomach. She rolled her eyes at his answer anyway. "Very funny," she huffed, shoving him away so she could think.

"Oh, come on," Draco said, straightening, his hands still resting on her hips. "It's easy. A promise."

The door swung open, instantly.

"Really, and you call yourself a Ravenclaw?" Draco taunted, kissing the shell of her ear. She sent him a murderous glare and dragged him into the common room. "Bloody hell - what's with the stars?"

Elara blinked at the stars on the ceiling, small supernovas exploding and showering them with tiny specks of starlight. "I prefer this over your  _ dungeon chic." _

Draco chuckled, breathlessly, following her up the spiral staircase and falling silent as they passed the dorms where the younger students would be sleeping.

Elara pushed open the door of her dorm, still clutching Draco's hand and pulled him in.

He kicked the door shut and had her pressed against it in a second, his lips coming down on hers, roughly.

She threw her arms around his neck, allowing herself to kiss him for just a moment, before she wrenched away and shoved him back.

He groaned low in his throat, surveying her with dark eyes as she hurried over to her bedside table and opened the drawer.

"The only thing I want to do right now is kiss you and possibly fuck you against the door and all you want to do is -"

Elara's core tightened at his words and she turned around to face him, clutching a small box.

"Keep your hormones under control," she quipped, approaching him.

"Then you better change out of that dress and into something a lot less appealing," he shot back, raising an eyebrow as his eyes took her in again, gliding down her body, resting on the exposed skin of her thigh. "Even though Merlin knows, I'd still want to fuck you."

"Hush," she chided, trying to gather herself together. His words were threatening to send her spiralling off the edge and she knew she'd never be able to stop herself if it got to that point. "Here."

He eyed the box, uncertainly. "You sure it isn't jinxed?"

Elara exhaled, loudly, at his teasing tone. "Keep talking and you won't get me  _ or  _ the gift."

He laughed, quietly, reaching out to take the box from her hands, hair falling onto his forehead as he looked down at it.

She watched his slender fingers trace the edges and then slide it open.

His hands froze and she saw something shift in his eyes.

"Do you like it?" she inquired, twisting her hands together, nervously.

Draco didn't respond for so long she thought she'd messed it all up. She never should've given him anything -

"It's a dragon," he said, slowly, pulling the ring out of the box and turning it over in his fingers.

"Yeah." Elara's voice was a whisper in the tensed atmosphere. "Yeah, I - I got it when we went to Hogsmeade for New Year's but - but I never got around to giving it to you."

He didn't look at her, just kept staring at the ring she'd got him. It was a dragon's head, mouth wide open as if it was in the middle of roaring fire.

Elara saw Draco's jaw clench and in her haste to speak, almost tripped over her words. "I saw a snake one but you - you already had that -" She glanced down at the ring he'd given her, wondering if he'd ask for it back. "And there was one with the letter  _ M _ engraved on it but I - I didn't want to get you that because I didn't want you to think - more than you already do - that Malfoy defines you and there was this dragon and  _ Draco  _ means dragon and that's what really means something - "

Draco crossed the distance between them in three, long strides, tossing the empty box onto the bed and sliding the ring onto his finger as he did so.

Elara's breath left her in a gasp as he dropped his mouth to hers, fingers digging into the skin behind her ear.

She nearly fell to her knees in relief.

He was saying thank you.

  
  



	33. thirty three

ELARA FELT LIKE SHE WAS SPIRALLING.

Draco kissed her, feverishly and like a man starving, thanking her in the only way he knew how.

His hands rested on her bare back, drawing her closer, and Elara slid her hands up his shoulders, locking her wrists behind his neck.

She let out a soft breath when his tongue dragged across her lower lip and he pulled back an inch.

"It's perfect," he said and a wave of joy surged in her, making her feel giddy.

He brought her mouth to his again and his hands slid lower on her back.

Elara nipped at his bottom lip, securing it between her teeth before she pulled back and released it. Draco made a sound low in his throat.

"You should  _ not  _ be kissing me like that in a room with a bed."

"Why not?" Elara inquired, innocently, batting her eyelashes as a tease. "I don't see anything wrong with -"

The rest of her sentence was knocked out of her as Draco practically tackled her onto her bed and she let out a breathless laugh against his mouth as he settled in between her legs.

He pulled back to look at her, arms straightening to keep his weight up, and she could see the lust in his eyes.

He didn't say anything before he dipped his head into her neck, kissing a trail down her throat and along the curve of her bare shoulder, skipping over the strap of the dress. "Fuck, I love you in this dress."

Elara's heart surged in her chest at the first four words and she quickly forced herself to calm down. He was not telling her he loved her.

"When I saw you in it," he rasped in her ear, tugging at her earlobe with his teeth, "you have no idea how much restraint it took not to drag you out of that ballroom and fuck you against the wall. You looked like a fucking Slytherin and it was - the hottest thing I've seen to date."

She gazed up at the stars on the ceiling above them, silently thanking Pansy, and whimpering as Draco left marks all over her skin - wherever he could reach.

When her hands moved to his belt, his dropped over it, stopping her, and he pulled back, soft hair grazing the top of her head.

"Not here," he murmured, ducking to kiss her, sinking his teeth into her lip and she groaned, making him smirk. "I don't want to be worried about someone walking in."

Elara looked at him, frustrated. "We have time - they probably won't be back for a bit -"

"I'm not rushing this," Draco told her, thumb caressing her cheek as he continued to fix her with those silver eyes. "Tonight, I intend to take my time with you."

Elara's lungs struggled to inhale and came up empty. He was breathtaking in his entirety.

He dropped his head again to plant open mouth kisses along her shoulder. "My sweet -" He dragged his hot tongue over her collarbone, "-  _ sweet  _ time."

Then, he was pulling back, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and she sat up as well, tucking her hair behind both her ears.

Draco squeezed her thigh one last time before getting to his feet, offering her his hand. She took it without hesitation.

It was a task to get to the Slytherin common room.

Not because there was anyone around - but because Elara found it increasingly difficult not to snog Draco senseless every other minute.

" _ Mmph -  _ Elara - we'll never make it to the room if you keep doing this," he'd breathed as she forced him into a hidden alcove for the fourth time and proceeded to attack his mouth with hers.

"Take me here," she'd mewled, her hormones raging. Hadn't she been the one telling  _ him  _ to keep it in his pants a while back? "Please."

Her hands dropped to his belt and he jerked away from her with a smile, placing one last swift kiss on her mouth. "As much as I enjoy watching you beg, you have to wait."

Elara had sulked all the way until they stepped into the Slytherin common room.

Her eyes immediately brightened and she made to tackle Draco onto the sofa but he squeezed her wrist, tightly, glancing at the portraits around them.

_ Right. No one could know. _

So she forced herself to take deep breaths and trailed him, silently, up the spiral staircase and towards his room.

Her stomach flipped as soon as he opened the door, letting her pass through first.

As soon as she heard the click of the door shutting behind them, she knew what to expect.

Draco's large hands grasped onto her hips, spinning her around, and then backing her up against the door, his mouth landing hard on hers.

Elara pulled him ever closer, needing to feel friction between her legs, and was rewarded when he pressed his hips hard against hers, one hand grasping her exposed thigh and pulling her leg up to his hip.

He cursed in her ear when she rolled her hips and pulled back enough to look at her.

"Yes," she gasped out, not interested in hearing him ask. "Please, Draco."

A cocky smirk took over his features and he pulled her away from the door to stand in the middle of the room, towering over her even in her heels.

His fingers toyed with the snake charm on her necklace, resting low on her chest and he gave her a breathtaking smirk of approval.

She looked up at him, chest heaving, cheeks pink. "What, you liked the outfit?"

"Liked?" Draco rasped, his hand drifting up to touch the diamond choker on her neck, slipping a finger under it and using it to tug her to his mouth. "I don't know if I want to fuck you in it or out of it."

"Didn't know you had so much house pride," Elara gasped out as his other hand moved to the small of her back, undoing the bow there with a quick pull.

Draco chuckled, darkly, as the dress loosened considerably around Elara. "I must admit, I do. But although the thought of fucking you in green and silver is  _ incredibly  _ tempting," he mused, his hands grazing up her arms and shoulders to dip his fingers underneath the straps of her dress, "I think you can play the little slut for Slytherin role later. Right now, I want you naked."

With that, he slid the straps of her dress down her shoulders, simultaneously dropping his head to kiss her collarbone as the dress fell away. She kicked her heels off even though he looked tempted to tell her to leave them on.

Elara didn't know when the rest of her undergarments came off - somewhere during the intense kissing.

But when Draco spun her around so her back was pressed against his chest and slid his cold hand down from her throat, following a distracted path, before dipping in between her thighs, she was so,  _ so  _ glad there was no barrier to stop him.

_ "Fuck,"  _ he hissed, low in her ear, as he felt her wetness, rubbing two fingers along her slit. "Look how fucking wet you are for me." She felt him smirk against her neck before he bit down, leaving another bruise. "And I didn't even have to try."

Elara cried out when he pushed two fingers inside of her, quickly finding a steady pace, and causing her to throw her head back against her shoulder.

"Shit -" she gasped, her toes curling as his thumb pressed down on her clit. "Draco -"

He hummed in her ear, slowing his pace. "I told you I'm going to take my time with you tonight. I intend to keep that promise, Elara."

Elara couldn't picture a torture more sweet as he pumped his fingers in and out of her, curling and hitting all the right spots that made her legs shake.

She was a mess in his arms and would've collapsed if he hadn't been holding her up, one hand wrapped around her throat.

His fingers picked up the rhythm as Elara began to tremble more and she marveled at the fact that he could sense when her orgasm was approaching.

But all thoughts were wiped from her mind when she came, her head knocking back against his shoulder, gasping for breath as pleasure wracked her entire body. Draco's hand slowed its pace, circling her clit one last time before he slid out of her.

Elara nearly stumbled without his support and he laughed, breathlessly, as he caught her around the waist, turning her to face him.

"That good, huh?" he teased, his eyes dark but playful. She managed to hit him on his chest but he caught her hand in his.

She looked up at him, suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she was absolutely, completely bare in front of him and he seemed to realise her embarrassment.

So he slowly brought her hand up to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss against her knuckles, over the ring he'd given her and Elara's heart thudded.

"Mine," he said, quietly, the water on the other side of the large window on the wall bouncing off the wall behind him. "All mine."

Elara didn't know how to respond and so, silenced him with a soft kiss and suddenly, the entire mood in the room shifted.

Instead of lustful and ravenous, it slowly glided into something more - raw. Intimate. She felt the whispers of his breath against her lips every time he kissed her - so gentle, so soft.

Elara's fingers tangled in his hair as he slid his hands down her spine, fingers trailing delicately across her skin, before moving to the back of her thighs, pulling her up and around him.

He kissed her, slowly, one arm wrapped around her to hold her to him, the other reaching up to pull the pins out of her hair, letting her curly hair fall around her face again. He had no trouble carrying her with one arm.

She hated that he was still fully clothed but when he laid her down on his huge bed, the silk emerald sheets luxurious under her back, she found herself unable to form one coherent word.

Because the way he was looking at her - it was like a man in love.

And Draco Malfoy couldn't be in love.

Certainly not with her.

He dipped his head to kiss her throat before pulling back, nestled comfortably between her legs. "Look at you," he said and Elara's nerve endings tingled.

The last time he'd said that sentence to her was the day by the Great Lake, when he'd brought her food. He'd said it with disdain then, as if he hated the fact that she'd become mere skin and bones.

But now - now, he said it with something close to awe in his voice as his eyes trailed down her, starting from her eyes, to her mouth, resting on her throat and collarbones before moving down over her breasts, down her stomach and hips, and finally down to her thighs and the space between them.

His eyes darkened and Elara squirmed under him, her cheeks heating. "Stop - staring," she mumbled, trying to bring him down enough so she could kiss him but he resisted.

Draco raised his eyes to hers, slowly, and her breath hitched in her throat as he leaned in to press a chaste kiss against her lips before moving to her jaw and her neck.

Elara sighed, blissfully, as he kissed along her collarbone and shoulder before sliding down her body just a little to plant hot open-mouthed kisses along the swell of her breasts.

Her stomach tightened as his breath ghosted over her nipple, making her shift, impatiently, her hands lost in his hair.

The water painted a kaleidoscope of spots on her as she arched her back when he took her into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the tip, wet and warm.

Elara whimpered, loudly, unashamed as he moved to the other and her nails dug into his scalp when his teeth scraped against the sensitive area.

She mewled as he pulled back, his fingers tracing over her curves, down the swell of her breasts, along her hips.

"I have you memorised," he whispered, his breath brushing her skin, pleasantly, and making her shiver. "I have every part of you memorised just by feeling you but -"

His mouth pressed against the swell of her breasts again, sucking, lightly. "But nothing compares to seeing all of you like this."

His mouth found the spot under her breast and she gasped.

"Draco - Draco -" She couldn't get anything out but his name and he moved lower, kissing a line between her breasts and down to her bellybutton, painstakingly slow, like he was rediscovering her body. "What are you -"

"I want to taste you." His voice was rough, low and Elara wondered how much self-control he must be exercising. He was never one to take things slow.

Her heart galloped in her chest and she could feel wetness pool between her thighs. "I - I've never -"

She gave up on the rest of the sentence when Draco kissed the soft skin on her stomach - where she'd always been a bit chubby. It had been her biggest insecurity since she had hit puberty and had started gaining some fat on her thighs and stomach.

But Draco didn't seem bothered at all and instead, looked up at her with desire written on every feature of his face.

"No one's ever gone down on you before?" he asked, leaving another feather-light kiss underneath her bellybutton. "What kind of man sees  _ you _ and doesn't want a taste?"

Something in Elara's chest knotted and she inhaled, deeply. "It's - I've never - had the chance to - to do it like this," she forced out, her fingers gripping onto the sheets as Draco kissed her hip - and then the other. Oh, Merlin, he was wonderful with his mouth. "On a - bed."

Draco paused, his large hands gripping her thighs. He looked up at her and Elara nearly orgasmed at the sight of him, messy hair and eyes filled with desire.

"Not that I'm complaining," he said and he was  _ so  _ close it was unbearable. "But I'm warning you. After I get a taste, you best believe I'll want one every time I see you."

Elara's lips parted at his words and if she could have gotten any more aroused, she would have.

"Plus," Draco went on, finally dropping his gaze from hers and focusing it between her thighs as he spread them open, rings digging into the soft skin, "I'll set your standards so high, you'll be dying to give me one anyway."

With that, he dipped his head and pressed his mouth against her.

The sensation was unlike anything Elara had ever experienced. Her back arched off the bed, her thighs immediately wanting to clench together, but Draco held them apart, his tongue tracing over her clit before he delved into her, moaning as she covered his tongue. "You taste like  _ heaven." _

The vibrations sent jolts of electricity through her and Elara squirmed, whimpering as he ate her like a man starving.

The sounds were nothing short of shameful and she flushed, despite herself, but any worry flew out of her head when he sucked her clit into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue.

Elara didn't know what kind of sounds she was making - all her focus diverted to the exquisite feeling of Draco's  _ talented _ mouth on her and when he slipped one finger into her at the same time as he licked a hot stripe along her slit and flattened his tongue against her clit, a wail ripped from her throat.

Her hands had found their way into his hair and she tugged in her euphoria. He made a sound in the back of his throat which only intensified her pleasure more and she gasped his name out like an incantation as he nudged his nose against her clit.

He coaxed her closer and closer, licking, sucking, kissing and Elara felt the familiar knot build low in her abdomen, her entire body overcome with extreme arousal.

Draco curled his finger, pulling back an inch to watch it disappear into her. "Look at me," he murmured a moment later and Elara ignored him, her head thrashing as he kissed her clit. "Elara. Look at me."

His tone forced her to and when she saw him dip his head back between her thighs, flattening his tongue and licking all the way up to her clit, his eyes still locked on hers, she shattered, her legs spasming and her stomach contracting as she orgasmed for the second time, her vision flashing white.

When she came down, her chest was still heaving and Draco left one last kiss on the inside of her thigh before he drew back, sliding back up to kiss the base of her throat.

She caught his face in her hands, kissed him, tasted herself and whimpered.

"So sweet," he said, his tongue darting out to collect any of her arousal still on his lips. "I'm definitely doing that more often."

Elara's pulse raced and she kissed him again, slow and sweet, wondering how she wasn't satiated after all this activity.

She knew what she needed and Draco realised, pulling back and kneeling on the bed as he began to unbutton his black shirt, slowly, his eyes fixed on Elara naked beneath him.

"I've thought about this so many times." His voice was rough and needy with desire as he popped the fourth button, exposing smooth skin. "You, writhing on my bed, beneath me, completely naked."

She realised he'd never seen her naked before - every time they'd fucked, it'd been in an empty classroom or bathroom or alcove. They hadn't had time to take each other's clothes off.

"And let me tell you." He was finally done with his shirt and it fell open. "You're even better than I imagined."

Elara wished he would stop talking - even though she secretly loved it - and get inside her.

But she frowned when she caught sight of the scars on his chest, still slightly red from Harry's curse.

But she hadn't seen them the other night in his room when she'd had a good look down his shirt.

"I charm them sometimes," Draco told her, quietly, seeming to read her mind as she sat up and traced her fingers over them. "Makes it a little easier to look in the mirror."

She knew why. The scars were a constant reminder that he'd almost used an Unforgivable Curse on Harry - a reminder that for a split second, he'd become his father.

Elara raised her eyes to his. "I think they add character." She kept her tone light, saw the smile play at the corner of his lips.

He inhaled, sharply, when she pushed herself onto her knees in front of him and began to kiss each and every scar on his chest, letting her tongue feel the roughness of the healing skin.

His hand tangled in her hair as she pressed soft kisses down his throat.

"It's a shame," she mumbled against his warm skin. "I was really looking forward to having you fuck me underneath the stars in my dorm."

She didn't know where the sentence had come from. She dragged her tongue up his neck, leaving a few marks of her own in the process and kissed along his jaw before finding his lips.

He kissed her back for a moment before she felt him move his hand to his pocket.

He pulled out his wand and she wondered briefly why he carried it to the Ball before he flicked it and suddenly, the ceiling above them was transformed into the night sky, stars glimmering and supernovas shimmering.

Elara's breath was stolen from her lungs as Draco tossed his wand away and forced her back down onto the bed, undoing his belt and unzipping his trousers.

"How did you do that?" Elara asked, breathlessly, her eyes skimming back up to the sky above them. The mixture of the starlight and the greenish glow from the water on the other side of the glass made for a combination she knew nothing would ever top.

It seemed like the joining of two souls and it made Elara's head spin.

"I aim to please."

She was brought out of her lovestruck stupor by Draco's words and realised he was fully naked now, moving to rest above her.

Her stomach knotted. Usually, she was relaxed when her and Draco had sex - it was why it had become a stress relief for the both of them.

But tonight - tonight felt like the first time.

And she could tell, by the way he was looking at her like she was about to shatter, that he felt the same.

Elara reached up, slid her thumbs across his cheekbones. His breaths mixed with hers, his eyes dark, but behind the ravenous hunger was something else - something she couldn't identify.

She kissed him and felt him sigh against her mouth. He braced himself over her, keeping his lips on hers, and then pushed into her.

Elara felt her walls spasm around him and she cried out at the mixture of pain and pleasure as he pushed in, inch by inch, hissing into her mouth until he was buried inside her.

" _ Fucking hell,"  _ he growled and swallowed her gasps and whimpers as he began to thrust into her. "I can never get enough of this."

Elara was reduced to stammers and cries as Draco found a pace so slow it made her toes curl in pleasure.

She hadn't expected him to be gentle with his thrusts - he never was, that just wasn't Draco Malfoy - and each sharp movement caused the headboard of the bed to ram against the wall.

But despite the fact that his hips pressed against hers, hard and bruising, and he didn't really care when she clawed at his back when he rammed himself into her, there was something sensual and - different about this time.

He didn't pick up his pace; keeping it slow, making sure she felt every inch of him each time he pushed in, but somehow, kept it hard and rough at the same time, knocking the breath out of her every time he entered her again.

Elara was helpless, overwhelmed with pleasure beneath him, as he fucked her into the bed, the stars above them shining and exploding every once in a while, casting shimmering starlight over the room.

He tangled one hand in the hair at the top of her head, his other bracing himself against the bed as he slid into her again, smoothly.

Elara was sobbing from the intense pleasure a few minutes later and he kissed her, hard, pulling out of her completely before slamming into her again.

She cried out and he let out a low grunt.

"You're mine," he breathed against her mouth, rolling his hips again. She clenched around him, her face wet, and he kissed her damp cheeks.

"All I fucking have," he groaned, his eyes shutting, his hair damp, as he thrust into her again, sharply. Her back arched off the bed, he kissed her throat and she fell back, euphoria shooting through her entire body. "Fuck, you feel so good around me -"

Draco groaned low in her ear when he pushed into her the next time and brought her leg up to wrap around his waist. She automatically did the same with the other one and then he pulled back, looking down at her with sex-crazed eyes.

He watched her face, carefully, as he dropped his hand to rub her clit, vigorously, simultaneously picking up the pace of his thrusts, hitting the spot in her that made her see stars.

She cried out his name, her chest pressed to his, and her legs shook.

"That's it." He didn't take his eyes off her face, his hand still between her legs. He slammed into her again after pulling all the way out and she dug her nails into his back. "Come for me, Elara."

And she did, so violently and so explosively, she thought she may have passed out for a moment. Her muscles locked and spasmed, her hands clawing at his back, her head thrown back, eyes rolled back in her head and Draco muttered something about how beautiful she was like this.

He fucked her through her high, slowing his pace to wait for her to come down, and once she did, her pants choppy and breathless, the wild look in his eyes told her she should hold on for dear life.

The way Draco fucked her into the bed after that was something she'd never experienced. It was simultaneously the most erotic, sweetest, roughest, gentlest way she'd ever been fucked and it had pressure building in her core once again.

He buried his face in her neck, letting himself rest a little of his body weight on her, consuming her as his thrust grew rougher and more desperate.

Elara winced with each hard movement, already bruised and sore, but nevertheless, loving it.

She could handle pain.

She stared up at the stars above them, feeling her chest warm. Star-gazing and having sex with Draco were two of her favourite things and here they both were -  _ combined. _

And when Draco began to bite down on the skin of her neck, strangled moans leaving his throat, she wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted her hips to meet his.

"Always - wanted - to - fuck you - into - this bed." He punctuated each word with a harsh thrust and she cried out his name. " _ Fuck _ , I'm -"

He let out a loud moan which only spurred Elara towards her fourth orgasm of the night - something she'd never thought was possible before.

Draco came inside her - she reminded herself to take the contraceptive potion tomorrow morning - and pulled out of her.

She whimpered at the sudden loss of contact until he felt his hand in between her legs, dipping into her and rubbing her clit.

Elara gasped for breath as Draco took her over the edge one last time, kissing her through it and fucking her with his fingers, until she was done.

Then, he collapsed next to her, both of them slick with sweat and exhausted.

Elara's heart threatened to beat out of her chest and she tried in vain to keep the smile off her face.

Draco was lying next to her. He was beautiful and warm and had just made love to her - maybe not in the sense of the Muggle books and movies - but it had still reached deeper than just physical attraction.

Elara didn't think she could ever be happier - and it was more than post-sex hormones.

But then Draco spoke, his voice rough.

"You should leave."

  
  



	34. thirty four

HE REGRETTED IT.

Elara turned her head to look at him, still flushed from what they'd just done, her stomach sinking.

He was already sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching for his wand and summoning a pile of clothes from his dresser, wordlessly.

Elara's mind reeled. Was he really kicking her out? After everything he had just said over the past few hours?

Dazed, she took the shirt he handed to her and sat up to slip it on, the soft green material brushing the tops of her knees. Her hands shook as she pulled her hair into a messy knot at the base of her neck, trying to form a coherent sentence in her brain.

Draco was dressed now - in pajama pants and a loose white shirt. He'd already cast a Cleaning Charm on the both of them - Elara hadn't registered when.

"I don't appreciate being used." The phrase fell from her lips even before she'd formed it in her mind. Why was her brain so  _ sluggish? _

Draco was making her go insane.

He froze at her words from where he was about to move off the bed. Elara forced her sore muscles into action, trying to ignore her bruised ego, and went to collect her clothes from the floor, refusing to cry.

She should've expected it - should've expected that he'd say all the things she wanted to hear just so he could get a quick fuck out of it.

Had she actually thought he cared?

She almost scoffed at herself as she moved to pick up her heels but a sharp tug at her elbow had her dropping the bundle of clothes and she found herself tucked into a very warm, familiar chest.

"I'm not using you." His voice was rough in her ear, his hands sliding underneath the shirt he'd given her to rest on her sides, his thumbs gliding over her lowest rib. She fit nicely in his hands.

"Then why are you asking me to leave?" Her voice had a tremor in it, despite her efforts to hide it. It was the post-sex hormones - they were making her unnecessarily emotional.

"Because - " He pulled back so she wasn't pressed into his chest anymore and looked down at her, silver eyes reflecting the shower of starlight above them as another supernova burst. "I thought - you wouldn't want to stay."

Elara wondered if he would ever believe that she didn't care about how his father was a Death Eater or that he was part of one of the wealthiest pureblood families in the Wizarding World.

It seemed to be so embedded into him that he questioned her at every step, still expected her to hate him.

Elara stared straight at his chest, acutely aware of his thumbs sliding over her bare skin in comforting circles. "I do."

Draco looked at her for a moment longer, seeming like he was waiting for her to add a  _ 'but'.  _ Then she lifted her eyes to his and he seemed to register that she had finished her sentence. He exhaled a breath - as if he'd been holding it in. "Thank  _ fuck _ ."

With that, he hoisted her over his shoulder, easily, and she let out a squeal, gripping onto his shirt for dear life as he strode towards the bed and dumped her, unceremoniously, onto it.

The silk sheets caressed her skin again, a wonderful feeling, before Draco stretched out next to her and brought her to his chest.

Elara's whole body warmed as a thrill swept through her. She rested her head in the space between his shoulder and neck as his arm wrapped around her back, fingers under her shirt, trailing up and down her spine.

She was  _ cuddling  _ with Draco Malfoy.

He was so warm and familiar as his fingers danced across her bare back, sliding over her spine, ghosting across her skin. It was the most comforting thing Elara had ever experienced.

She left small kisses along the column of his neck, feeling him sigh at the feeling, his hand sliding up to momentarily tangle in her hair before returning to drag down her back.

"I didn't peg you as the cuddling type," she teased, all her previous despair evaporating.

He chuckled, softly, one arm tucking under his head to prop his head up against the pillows. Elara tried to ignore the way his bicep contracted at the movement. "You're right." His lips touched her hair. "But, like I said before, you're picking apart everything I am."

Elara's heart seemed to heat up. "Piece by piece?" she asked, propping her chin up on her hand on his chest so she could look at him better.

He gave her a smile that could've bloomed flowers, leaning into kiss her. "Piece by fucking piece."

|

When Elara finally left, Draco was in the shower.

They'd fallen asleep, wrapped up in each other, and when Elara had awoken, the bed had been cold and the sound of the shower was drifting out from the bathroom.

She'd debated joining him but realised that it was already close to dawn - she had to get back to her dorm.

Reluctantly, she gathered her things and took one last, longing look at the bed and the stars on the ceiling before slipping out of the room, shutting the door, quietly, behind her.

She crept down the spiral staircase, the stone floor cold against her bare feet, and made her way across the common room, ignoring the stares of the portraits on the walls, too giddy to keep the lovestruck smile off her face.

Someone cleared their throat.

Elara jumped, her heart pounding, the grin sliding off, and whirled to face Blaise Zabini, stretched out on the sofa, his legs propped up on the table.

"What a surprise," the Slytherin boy drawled, his arms behind his head in a casual position, as he surveyed Elara with dark eyes.

Elara's gut twisted as she stared at Blaise, forcing herself not to turn and flee.

"Waiting for me?" she asked, sarcastically, her heart thudding against her ribcage.

Out of everyone, it  _ had  _ to be Blaise Zabini?

"So you wormed your way into Malfoy's bed, huh?" Blaise snarled, sitting up at her tone. His robes fluttered as he got to his feet, almost as tall as Draco. "Look at you. A proper slut."

He accompanied his words with a harsh glance of her, up and down. She was glad Draco's shirt was long enough to reach her knees.

"Oh, I am - most definitely - a slut," Elara responded, coolly, but her fingers tightened around her heels. She wished she had her wand. "I just happen to be Draco's."

Fury rose in Blaise's dark eyes like a wave and he advanced on her, seething. "My best friend wants nothing to do with you," he sneered, his lip curling in disgust as he looked at her. "He would never bring scum like you into this common room unless he was  _ really  _ desperate."

Elara bristled, standing straighter. "Obviously, he did -"

Blaise cut her off by barking out a laugh. "Oh, don't tell me," he taunted, suddenly cocky, taking another step closer. Elara didn't budge from where she was. "You think he  _ likes  _ you?" He smirked at her and she vaguely registered that she wasn't safe. "You think Draco  _ fucking  _ Malfoy  _ likes  _ your pathetic arse?"

Elara met Blaise's fiery gaze, steadily. "He seemed to like it plenty last night."

Blaise made a sound akin to a growl and stepped closer, looming over her. "Keep your fucking mouth shut -"

"Or what?" Elara countered, glaring at him. "If you lay a hand on me, Draco will kill you."

"It's  _ Malfoy  _ to you," Blaise hissed. "And he will do no such thing. You think he'd stand up for  _ you?" _

He looked her up and down again, disdainfully. "Wait till I tell you how many girls he fucked two nights ago in the same room he took you in just yesterday. Would you care to know?"

Elara's stomach knotted. "Believe it or not, Zabini, I do have better things to do than listen to your lies."

She turned to leave but let out a small shriek when Blaise grabbed her by her hair, yanking her back and pressing his mouth to her ear.

She stiffened, trying not to touch any part of him, but he didn't leave any room for her to escape.

"Four," he whispered in her ear and her skin crawled. "Four girls. I can even tell you their names."

Elara squirmed, digging her elbow into his ribs as hard as she could and he hissed in pain but didn't release her. "Sasha. Winnie. Katherine. And  _ Pansy." _

He released her then, shoving her forward and Elara staggered, her head spinning.

"And let me tell you," Blaise went on as he grabbed her shoulder and twisted her around, harshly, making her wince in pain, "You should've heard the way he fucked Pansy."

Elara's chest spasmed.

"But you think he likes you, right?" Blaise laughed, coldly. "Tell me, what makes you different from all the other girls? Hmm?"

Elara raged, silently.

"Oh, no, he told you he likes you, didn't he?" Blaise pouted. "The twat." His mouth transformed into a sneer. "I told him he'd played that card one too many times."

His grip on her arm was still deathly tight - Elara knew she'd have bruises - and although she knew she could probably use the skills Draco had taught her and throw Blaise off balance, half of her wanted to keep listening to this torture. To see if it was true.

"Why do you think Pansy is in love with him?" Blaise chuckled. "He's told her he cares for her so many times and she's fallen for it  _ every single time.  _ But it only lasts long enough to fuck - maybe some aftercare - and then it's gone."

"You're an -"

"Save the insults, Jacobs. You know I'm right. I've been Draco's friend since first year. Consider this me doing you a favour."

Elara tried to force down the wave of nausea that overcame her.

"Malfoy is  _ not  _ a broken little boy, Jacobs. He's a fucking weapon. And with his association with the Dark Lord, you'd be better off if you stayed away from him."

_ A weapon. _

Elara didn't want to believe him but - but something in his tone rang true.

Blaise's fingers dug into her arm and she tried to wrench away again, only for him to pull her closer. "He will use you and play with you and  _ destroy  _ you. And he will feel no remorse -"

"The  _ fuck?" _

Blaise gave Elara one last, blood-curdling smirk before he pulled away, his fingers leaving ugly, purple marks on her arm. He stepped back, allowing Elara to breathe, his eyes still on her. "Morning, Malfoy."

Draco was standing on the landing at the top of the spiral staircase, the hallway behind him dark in the morning hours. His eyes flicked between Blaise and Elara and she could see the gears in his head turning, trying to figure out how to play this.

Always calculating.

"Ran into your little fuck toy on her way out," Blaise said, dryly, as he reclined on the sofa again, kicking his feet up on the table. "Really, Draco? Out of everybody, you had to bring a Ravenclaw? Couldn't you bring a Hufflepuff like last time?" His mouth curved in a cruel smirk. "I like it when they scream."

Draco's hands tightened around the railing and Elara watched as he stared at her a moment longer, his hair wet, and then made his way down the staircase, wearing all black. "No Hufflepuffs available," he replied but his eyes were fixed on Elara, his expression unreadable. "Why don't you go find one for yourself?"

Blaise snorted. "I dunno. You seemed to have an awful lot of fun with this one last night." He jerked his head towards Elara, as if she wasn't even there. "Mind if I try her too?"

Draco's hand spasmed by his side. He came to a stop in front of Elara, looking down at her. Her heart rate picked up as she met his gaze, still clutching her clothes. His hair was damp, the strands darker than usual, falling over his forehead.

"I told her how you fucked those four girls the other day, by the way."

Draco's shoulders went rigid. "Blaise, I swear to  _ god -" _

"Look at her, Malfoy! She's head over heels for you. I thought I'd cut her down to size. Make sure she never comes back here. Doing us all a favour, really. What? Don't tell me you were planning on fucking her  _ again?" _

Elara wanted to scream that he'd been fucking her for over a year now but the words were lodged in her throat.

Because Draco wasn't denying anything Blaise was saying.

And it stung.

"Next time, at least cast a fucking Silencing Charm," Blaise taunted, getting to his feet and stretching. "Usually, I like hearing them scream but not  _ her."  _ He sniffed in disgust at Elara. "She's not even a pureblood."

With that, Blaise disappeared up the staircase, vanishing into the hallway.

Elara's heart was still trying to escape the confines of her ribcage and she realised her palms were damp.

The silence threatened to crush her.

She stared at Draco's chest, tears pricking the back of her eyes.

"Elara -" His hand came up as if he wanted to touch her face but he seemed to decide against it and instead, rubbed the back of his neck.

She inhaled a shaky breath, still not meeting his eyes.

"Go," he said, quietly. "Go. I'll take care of him."

Elara wanted to yell, to demand what the hell Blaise had been on about, but the dark look in Draco's eyes made her double take.

So she turned and hurried out of the common room.

|

Elara scrubbed herself clean in the shower, feeling numb.

The bruises Blaise had left on her arm were stark against her skin - as well as the ones Draco had left all over her body.

She tried to force away the memories of last night. If Blaise was telling the truth -

The hot water cascaded over the tense muscles in her shoulders and she sighed, kneading them. She had slept better than she ever had last night, in Draco's arms.

She hated to think she'd never get to again.

But she wouldn't stay. If he had really had sex with those four girls the night before he confessed and made love to her, she wouldn't stay.

She was worth more than that.

But she couldn't help the heavy feeling in her chest as she turned off the water and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself.

She cast a Charm over the marks on her body, including the ones Blaise had made, and pulled on a large sweater and jeans.

By the time she made it to the library, it was almost noon.

"You weren't at breakfast," Cho stated, her long sleek braid gleaming under the light, as Elara approached the table her friends were sitting it.

Luna scooted over to make some space and Elara summoned a chair from one of the nearby desks and settled onto it. "Long night," she said, glancing around at the others. They all seemed to glow; they'd obviously had a good evening yesterday.

"So? How was Flint?" It was Fred piping up from the opposite side of the long table.

Elara shot him a look as the group giggled. "I didn't sleep with him."

"Oh?" George put in, leaning back in his chair and throwing his arm around the back of Ginny's. "I could've sworn you left the ball with him."

"Leaving the ball hardly means she had sex with him," his younger sister interjected with a roll of her eyes. "Now, can we stop discussing Elara's private life and get down to business?"

Immediately, the atmosphere sobered.

"Right," Harry cleared his throat from beside Ginny, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table. "We need to recruit more people into the DA. Any ideas?"

"I was thinking the Connoway triplets in fourth year," Cho answered after a moment of thought. "You know, the ones with the blue hair?"

"They're in Hufflepuff, aren't they?" Ron inquired, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

"Two of them are - the third's in Slytherin."

"We can't trust a Slytherin," Padma Patil put in from beside her sister. "What if she tells Snape?"

"Being in Slytherin doesn't automatically write you off as a traitor, Padma," Elara told her and Padma shrugged.

"I agree with Elara," nodded Parvati. "I've seen the triplets duel - they're pretty up to standard. We won't have to teach them much."

"Connoway triplets?" Harry asked and everyone but Padma put up their hands. "Alright, settled."

Ginny scribbled down their names on the parchment in front of her. "Right. Anyone else?"

"How about Indigo and Tracy?" Cho put forward, glancing at Elara. "Do you think they'd be good picks?"

Elara mulled the thought over, scratching absent-mindedly at the place where Blaise had left bruises on her arm. "Indigo's better at dueling than Tracy is but - Tracy would probably pick up things faster."

"I'd be all for it if I didn't think Stuart would explode on us again," Ron said. "He's one of our best and we can't afford to lose him."

Elara fell silent as the decision was made to ask Indigo and Tracy whether they'd join, regardless of Stuart's reaction.

"How about Winona?" Luna suggested. "You know. Winnie? Hufflepuff."

_ Winnie. _

It had been one of the names Blaise had mentioned.

"She's good at defense," Ginny added, nodding. "I've seen her."

Winona was added to the list.

One by one, the parchment slowly filled up with potential candidates.

Elara pretended not to notice that they were slightly biased towards Slytherin, rejecting most of the candidates from Salazar's House.

"Pansy Parkinson," Elara disturbed the thoughtful silence ten minutes later. "She's one of the best duelers in Slytherin. Second to only Draco."

The group stared at her, stunned.

"What?" Elara demanded, indignantly. "She's a friend -"

"She's way too close to Malfoy," Harry cut in with a shake of his head.

"She'll snitch." That was Ginny.

"No way! Isn't she dating Malfoy? Who's to say she won't spill all our secrets to him?" Ron demanded.

"I trust her," Elara retorted, sharply. "We can always Obliviate her if she refuses or if we think she isn't loyal."

"It's too big of a risk," Hermione piped up for the first time from where she had her nose buried in a huge book. "We can't trust her."

Elara accepted defeat.

"I was thinking -" George hesitated, tapping his fingers on the table. He sent an unsure glance at Elara. "I was thinking maybe... Freya?"

Elara's heart iced over. Her first instinct was to say no, forbid it outright. Her sisters would play no part in a war.

But she remembered her disagreement with Stuart, the way he'd made her choices for her and how much she'd resented it.

The group waited, watching Elara, intently.

"I think," Elara said, slowly, although it pained her to utter the words. "You should ask her. She can make her own choices."

So Freya Jacobs was scrawled down, another name on the ever-growing list.

Elara hoped she hadn't just dug her sister a grave.

  
  



	35. thirty five

ELARA AVOIDED DRACO.

Not because she particularly wanted to but because the tension between them was just so confusing, it made her nauseous.

His words still echoed in her mind, even when she was knee-deep in school work or in a duel with both the Patil twins.

It didn't matter what she was doing or where she was. Draco seemed to be permanently engraved in her brain, a tattoo she wished would fade so she could actually form a proper, rational thought about him.

But all she could remember was his mouth on hers and his large hands and the ring she'd got him glinting in the starlight as he pushed her hair behind her ear as they lay entwined in bed.

"Hey, 'Mione." Elara flopped down next to Hermione in the library, Amelia trailing after her. "Studying?"

Hermione looked up from the book she was hunched over, her bushy hair pulled back into a tight ponytail to keep it out of her face. "Not really, no."

"Oh?" Elara asked as Amelia took a seat at the table, pulling out her Charms book. "What's up?"

Hermione glanced at Amelia and Elara took the hint. "Ames, why don't you start with your homework? I'll come join you in a bit and check if it's all correct."

Amelia nodded, sullenly, not too thrilled over her homework and pulled out her quill.

Hermione and Elara moved to a quieter side of the library, in one of the aisles.

Elara noticed Hermione's tense expression and her taut mouth. "Are you alright? You look super stressed."

"I am," Hermione sighed, heavily, clutching the book to her chest. "I just don't know how to go about any of this and it's so overwhelming and I don't want to be responsible for -" She cut herself off, inhaling a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling, as if she was holding back tears.

"Why don't you just tell me what's going on?" Elara asked, gently, reaching out to lay a hand on her friend's arm.

After a long moment of silence, Hermione spoke.

"Harry doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that... that if we come up against Voldemort, we really don't have a fighting chance," she said in a whisper as Elara leaned against one of the bookshelves. "Even with the amount of people we're recruiting into the DA. Death Eaters will always outnumber us and - and they're all adults."

Hermione stopped for a moment, looking down at the heavy book in her hands. "We're all just kids. We haven't been exposed to the battlefield. Even if we happened to outnumber Voldemort's army, we have so little experience that we'd still be defeated."

Elara nodded, slowly.

"And Harry -" Hermione shut her eyes and blew out a breath before opening them again. "Harry's been through so much. I don't want to put anything else on his shoulders but - but we  _ have  _ to have a backup plan. Right?"

Elara nodded again, realising that Hermione needed someone to tell her she was doing the right thing.

"So I've been - reading," Hermione continued, quietly, "about - about how we can -  _ maybe -  _ eliminate Death Eaters by - by a huge number."

"You mean - a mass killing?" Elara replied and Hermione nodded, looking faintly ashamed.

"Yes - but I don't know if it will work. The spell has never been cast before - but funnily enough, it was created by Helena Ravenclaw."

Elara frowned at the mention of Ravenclaw's ghost. "What's the spell?"

The Gryffindor witch opened the book in her hands, flipping to the page that had been open when Elara had approached her at the table.

" _ Occidere Tenebris,"  _ Elara murmured under her breath. "But there's no wand motion."

Hermione sighed, heavily. "That's the problem. It's wandless magic. That's why it needs so many other ingredients."

"And what will it do?" Elara's quick eyes scanned the page.

_ Powdered root of Asphodel, Unicorn blood, Essence of Daisyroot - _

"It's..." Hermione's voice died out, as if she was trying to form the words. "It'll supposedly seek out Death Eaters and drain them of all their magic before killing them."

Elara's eyes widened. "I - how?"

Hermione's fingers were trembling. "It finds the Dark Mark. Helena originally made it - not specific to Death Eaters. It was only supposed to seek out whatever magic the user wanted the most. So if you were injured, you could find all the Healing magic in creatures nearby and drain them off it, thereby healing yourself. "

"But it kills the thing you drain the magic of," Elara finished, her eyebrows still furrowed as she stared down at the book.

Hermione nodded, solemnly. "And -" She chewed on her lip. "And since we're dealing with Dark Magic here..." She trailed off once more, her brown eyes almost frantic. "Well, the spell is fine for things like Healing because you're absorbing Light Magic but... if we were to somehow modify this spell to absorb Dark Magic from the Dark Mark on the Death Eaters' arms -"

"The caster would absorb so much Dark Magic, they'd be killed," Elara finished, hoarsely.

Hermione nodded, still chewing on her lower lip.

"So one of us would have to sacrifice ourselves."

Hermione looked close to tears. "I can't tell Harry. You know how he takes this personally and he'd be torn to  _ bits _ if he knew that the only fighting chance we have would require someone sacrificing themselves and he'd  _ definitely  _ offer himself -"

Elara reached out, wrapped an arm around Hermione and pulled her into a hug, making the witch drop the book in the process. "Hey, it's alright. I understand. It's probably best if we work on this together - just the two of us."

Hermione's shoulders shook and her tears wet Elara's neck. "I don't want anyone to die - because of me."

"You're saving thousands of lives, 'Mione," Elara whispered, rubbing her hand up and down her friend's back. "You're doing something  _ amazing.  _ You'll save so many people - and anyways, this is just a back up plan."

Hermione nodded into Elara's neck, trembling.

"Sorry to break this little  _ pity _ party up but you two happen to be standing in front of the star charts I need."

Elara's heart jumped into her throat, her pulse immediately picking up, as Hermione pulled back to scowl at the intruder.

"Shove off, Malfoy."

Draco's tone was unbothered from behind Elara. "I'd love to, Granger, but I do want to pass Astronomy."

Elara finally jolted into action, grabbing Hermione's hand at the same time as she bent down to sweep the book she'd dropped off the floor. "We're leaving."

She turned and stopped short. Draco was leaning against the bookshelf, arms crossed loosely over his chest, a lazy grin on his face.

He didn't seemed perturbed by her presence in the least.

His eyes dragged down her body then back up and Elara's lungs spluttered for breath.

"So soon?" he asked, tauntingly, but nevertheless pushed off the bookshelf to let them pass.

Hermione twisted and stormed past him first, followed closely by Elara.

She felt Draco's fingers brush the side of her hand, felt his pinky curl around hers for half a second before letting go.

It was a soft touch - but enough to make her chest warm.

Elara avoided his eyes and pushed past him, focusing on Hermione's retreating back.

|

_ "- but you have to, Severus." _

Elara halted at the sound of Dumbledore's voice emanating from Snape's office. If Dumbledore was here, she should come back later.

She turned to leave when her ears caught another phrase that made her hesitate.

" _ You can't ask this of me. To cast it, I must  _ mean  _ it -" _

That was Snape - sounding more terrified than Elara had ever heard.

She frowned, her Ravenclaw curiosity getting the best of her and crept closer to the closed door.

" _ \- well aware but you know it must be you. Think of Lily - think of how much you'd be doing for her..." _

The rest of the sentence was drowned out as a buzzing filled her ears. Someone had cast a Muffliato.

Elara jerked away from the door, managing to take a few steps back, before it swung open, revealing Snape standing in the doorway, his black cape fluttering around him.

"Miss Jacobs."

"Hi, Professor," she said, cheerily, as if she had just got there. "I came to give you a report."

Snape held the door wider, let her slip in just as Dumbledore gave her a warm smile, his eyes crinkling.

"Hello, Miss Jacobs." The Headmaster turned to Snape and gave him a silent look. Something seemed to pass between them and then Dumbledore was leaving, patting Elara's shoulder on his way out.

Snape gestured for Elara to sit.

|

It had been a week since Elara had slept with Draco.

She'd had close to zero contact with him which she would've been grateful for, if he hadn't looked like he didn't care in the slightest.

Not one glance her way, not one word out of the context of the classes when they were paired up.

It infuriated her even as it gave her a chance to breathe.

"... Miss Jacobs?"

Elara awoke from her stupor, banishing thoughts of long, ringed fingers and soft, white-blond hair from her mind. "I'm sorry, Professor. What was the question?"

Professor Slughorn gave her a reprimanding look. "Would you like to explain why Gillyweed is added to the Draught of Living Death?"

"I would not," Elara replied, sheepishly. "Because - I don't know."

It was quite possibly the hardest three words she'd ever had to force out. Elara Jacobs simply never did not know.

"Of course you don't," berated Slughorn with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Because you were off somewhere in another universe for - the  _ second  _ time today, Miss Jacobs."

Elara turned pink, feeling the gaze of all her peers - including Draco - on her.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I'm just distracted." She ducked her head, ashamed.

"Distraction will not help you in your exams, Miss Jacobs. I  _ do  _ recall receiving a letter from your parents, regarding your rank in class. They were adamant that you should be pressed to be first."

Elara shut her eyes for a moment and nodded.

"Detention, Miss Jacobs. I'll expect you here after classes."

Slughorn rapped his knuckles on her desk and strode away. "Right! Can anyone else explain why Gillyweed is added to the Draught of Living Death?"

Hermione's hand shot up.

Elara sunk further in her seat, ignoring the sympathetic look she got from Parvati beside her.

"Alright, now stir counterclockwise," Parvati told her, twenty minutes later. "It should bubble and turn pink. Then we add the Dragon Liver."

Elara obeyed, watching the cauldron, carefully, not wanting to make another mistake.

It happened so quickly Elara barely registered it. There was a loud  _ bang!  _ and Elara's head jerked up in time to see Fletcher's cauldron explode, spewing purple liquid everywhere.

Parvati shrieked, her hands flying to clamp over her mouth, as Fletcher yelled in pain when the scalding liquid settled onto his skin. He was completely purple, from head to toe, dripping purple slime all over the stone floor.

Professor Slughorn was bustling over in a moment, waving his wand to clean up the mess and restore the cauldron back into its position. "Mr. Smith! What have you done?"

Elara stifled a smile as Fletcher's mouth opened and closed, repeatedly, his expression still frozen in shock.

"Dear Merlin, you look like you've been Kissed by a Dementor," said Slughorn, eyeing Fletcher's dazed expression. He was still faintly purple, although the gunk had been cleaned off him. "Finnegan! Take Mr. Smith to Madam Pomfrey, please."

As Fletcher was escorted out by a beaming Seamus, Professor Slughorn turned on Draco who had been Fletcher's partner. "Mr. Malfoy, would you care to explain why you added Root of Asphodel into the cauldron?"

"Were we not supposed to?" Draco asked, innocently, balancing on his stool and crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm afraid I must have gotten the instructions wrong, Professor."

Slughorn's face turned red. "I  _ saw  _ you, Mr. Malfoy. It seems you deliberately sabotaged your own cauldron just to be the class clown for a minute or two."

Draco seemed unbothered, scratching briefly at his bicep.

"I am  _ very  _ disappointed in you, Mr. Malfoy, seeing as you are one of my best students." The Potions teacher sniffed. "You can join Miss Jacobs in detention tonight."

As Slughorn went back to monitoring the class and Parvati began to stir their cauldron once more, Elara caught Draco's eye from across the classroom.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, a slow smile spreading across his face, and she shook her head at him.

She wasn't a Ravenclaw for no reason.

She was well-aware, although Slughorn may not be, that Draco had just gotten exactly what he wanted.

Time with her.

  
  



	36. thirty six

STUART TALKED TO HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS.

"Did you finish the Transfiguration essay?"

Elara looked up and nodded as Stuart approached her where she was sprawled out on one of the armchairs by the fireplace in the common room.

"I did," Elara said, slowly, surprised he was even talking to her. "You didn't? It's due tomorrow."

Stuart's chestnut hair picked up the glow of the fire as he squatted in front of it, absent-mindedly tossing some wood in. "Yeah, I know. I've been so busy, it completely slipped my mind."

"With Cho?" Elara ventured, lightly, toying with the edge of the page of the book she was reading. Her eyes fixed on the silver snake ring wrapped around her index and she traced it with her other hand, Draco coming to mind.

Stuart smiled for a second, still staring at the fire. "Yeah... Cho - she's amazing."

"She really is," Elara nodded. "I'm glad you're both happy."

Stuart's fingers clenched around a twig before he snapped it and tossed into the fire. "I think she's the one."

Elara didn't know why Stuart was suddenly talking to her - about Cho - after months of ignoring her but the ache of missing him had never gone away.

"I hope she is," Elara murmured, finally shutting her book and moving to sit up. "Have you told her?"

He shook his head, shaggy chestnut hair falling into his eyes. "No. I'm - terrified, really. She's so - bold and brave and I can't help feeling like she's going to do something to get herself killed."

Elara sobered, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees and prop her chin up onto her hand. "She can handle it. She knows what she's getting into. It's not your job to keep her in a bubble forever, Stuart."

Stuart gazed at the flames flickering in front of him, seemingly lost in deep thought.

Elara wondered if she should move to comfort him or try to reason with him.

He made the decision for her.

"I'm so scared of losing people," he mumbled, his mind still somewhere far away. He seemed to come back to reality, shaking his head. His eyes were focused as he turned to look at Elara. "Like I lost Mum."

Elara's throat constricted and she got to her feet, moving to the sofa and patting the space next to her.

Stuart's hazel eyes were the saddest Elara had ever seen them as he sat next to her.

"Losing people is inevitable," Elara said, quietly, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and pulling him to rest against her. "You have to take the loss and move forward. You can't protect everybody and even if you could, there's no guarantee you won't lose them still."

Stuart made to nod against her shoulder.

"Cho can take care of herself. And if anything - Merlin forbid - happens to her, it will  _ never  _ be your fault, okay? That goes for everyone else you care about."

She listened to his wracking breaths for a few minutes before he spoke, his voice muffled.

"I should do my homework."

"I can help," Elara offered, not wanting to lose this moment with her best friend just yet.

He pulled away, stood and gave her the smallest of smiles. "Thanks, but I'm okay."

As he left, Elara wondered why no one ever asked if  _ she _ was okay.

|

Detention with Slughorn shouldn't have felt so nerve-wracking.

But as Elara trudged towards the Potions classroom, she felt the butterflies in her stomach multiply.

Draco would be there. She'd have to talk to him.

"Ah, Miss Jacobs, welcome," Professor Slughorn looked up from where he was piling up essays and beckoned her in. "I don't have much time - I've got about a hundred first-year essays to grade."

Elara followed the teacher over to a large cabinet standing against the wall at the back of the classroom and watched as he pulled it open with a loud creak of the doors.

Elara's mouth dropped. The cabinet was filled from top to bottom with cauldrons, glass jars and bottles, dozens of vials and very suspicious looking boxes.

"I need all of these sorted," Slughorn said, cheerfully. "Vials on one shelf, jars and bottles on the other and so on. The cauldrons have to be dusted and polished and keep them on the bottom shelf, will you? They keep dropping onto my head from the top shelf whenever I open the cabinet."

Elara couldn't even smile at the image because she was busy thinking about how she'd be spending her whole night here, cleaning  _ cauldrons. _

"Don't look so forlorn, Miss Jacobs," Slughorn said, patting her on the back so hard she almost stumbled. "Mr. Malfoy will be here to help you."

"Lucky me," she said, dryly, remembering Blaise's words about Pansy and the other three girls.

"On the contrary," Draco's voice was smooth and dripped like honey from the door of the classroom, "I think _I'm_ the lucky one."

Slughorn turned and beamed even as Elara didn't move an inch. "Ah, finally, you're here, Mr. Malfoy! I'll leave you to it, seeing as I have essays to correct. Wands, please."

Elara kept staring up at the huge cabinet in front of her, even after the Potions Professor had left.

She could feel Draco behind her, by the desk, a good distance away, watching her.

"Staring at it isn't going to get the work done any faster," he said, finally, after a long moment of silence. His tone was relaxed but she could detect the uncertainty beneath it.

"We're going to be here all night anyway," Elara sighed, turning to face him at last. He was perched on the edge of the desk, his hands gripping the edge of the dark wood, rings glinting in the light of the torches.

He was wearing the ring she'd gotten him - the dragon. It made the snake one he had gifted her feel heavier on her finger.

"Pass me a cloth," Elara said, holding out her hand. Draco never moved his eyes from her face except to briefly glance at the desk, picking up a cloth and tossing it to her.

"You've been avoiding me."

It was such an unforeseen phrase, stark in contrast to the conversation they'd just been having. Elara blinked.

"I haven't," she answered, slowly, staring at the floor. "Just been busy."

She turned to face the cabinet again, quickly, reaching for one of the cauldrons when she heard Draco speak, his voice quiet and a lot more dangerous. "Don't lie to me, Elara."

Elara stiffened, her hand falling away and returning to her side, as he pushed off the table, coming up behind her.

Her heartbeat quickened and then, his large hand was wrapping around her wrist, easily, and twisting her around to face him.

He was close - close enough that she'd have to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. She didn't, keeping her eyes fixed on the black material of his shirt, clutching the cloth in her hand a little tighter.

"Don't," Draco reprimanded, his tone suddenly harsh. "Don't fucking lie to me."

Elara was well aware of the searing sensation of his touch, realised it still made her shiver, despite everything. "I'm not -"

"If you don't want me, then at least have the fucking guts to say so." His eyes were liquid silver, catching the flames from the torches and setting Elara alight. "Don't play these fucking games with me."

Elara bristled, yanking her wrist out of his grip. " _ I'm  _ the one playing games?" She stared at him, astonished. "You slept with four fucking girls the night before you made  _ me _ feel like you  _ cared  _ about me! How am  _ I  _ the one playing games, Draco?"

Something flickered in Draco's expression and he scoffed in exasperation, taking a few steps back. "You believed that shit? You believed what - what Blaise fucking said about me?"

Elara's throat closed up. "You never fucking denied it. In fact, you kicked me out of the common room and proceeded to act like I didn't exist." She shook her head, her blood rushing in her veins. "I'm getting really fucking tired of this cycle, Malfoy."

Draco blinked before pushing a hand through his hair, roughly. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "I didn't fuck them -  _ any  _ of them."

Elara hated that a part of her chest eased.

"I was going to," he went on, bluntly, as if he were talking about the weather. "But I knew - I knew who I really wanted."

It was suddenly difficult to breathe.

"So I left them to it," Draco said, bitterly. "Not that you'd believe me, seeing as you took what  _ Blaise  _ said and ran with it."

Heat spread through Elara's face. "And did - did you -" She composed herself with a breath. "Did you tell Pansy all the things you told me - just to fuck?"

Draco's eyes met hers, stoic. "I'm not proud of what I did to Pansy," he confessed, dragging his fingers along the edge of the desk. "But I never said any of those things that I did to you - to anyone else."

Elara swallowed, looked down at the cloth in her hand, playing with the edges. "What did you do to her?"

Draco hesitated, meeting her eyes for a split second before sighing and perching himself on the edge of the table once more. "I used her. I knew she was in love with me but - I just needed someone to fuck and Pansy was. _.. convenient."  _ He looked down, tracing the dragon ring on his finger. "But I never told her I cared for her - like that. Anything I ever said was only related to sex."

Elara inhaled, deeply. "I...see." She turned and reached for the cauldron again, pulling it off the shelf.

Draco was silent, observing as she placed the cauldron on one of the desks nearby and began to dust it off, her mind still reeling.

"Elara..." It was a soft plea to get her to say something -  _ anything. _

She looked up, met his eyes. "There's so many things I still don't understand."

Draco settled back against the desk, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ask."

Elara sighed, swiping the cloth over the rim of the cauldron. "Now isn't the time."

"Don't." Draco's voice dropped an octave. "Stop fucking avoiding this - avoiding  _ me." _

Elara's shoulders went rigid. "I just -" She stopped, collected her thoughts. "I can't  _ think  _ around you." She broke his gaze, focused on the cauldron in front of her.

"Neither can I." He pushed off the table again, walking towards her. "You know what you do to me."

His words sent a familiar thrill through Elara's body and she raised her eyes to his as he rounded the corner of the desk and stopped next to her, turning her to face him.

"Ask," he murmured, grey eyes intense.

Elara breathed, deeply, and took a small step back to put some distance between them. She couldn't think when he was so close, smelling like green apples and parchment and mint.

"The Vanishing Cabinet," Elara started, sharply, refusing to give in to how intoxicating he was. "Why did you tell Pansy?"

Draco's fingers stopped from where they'd been running along the side of the desk, absent-mindedly. "I needed help finding it. It's what we were looking for when your sister caught us out past curfew."

Elara remembered the moment on the Astronomy Tower, when Draco had told her Freya had cut points from Slytherin for catching Pansy and Draco out. When Elara had assumed they'd been shagging.

"Hogsmeade."

Draco looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed.

"You made me stay back from Hogsmeade. You told me we'd spend time together," she continued. "And then you left with everyone else. Why?"

Draco's jaw tightened.

"The truth, Draco."

He seemed to sink deep into thought, his hand curling momentarily into a tight fist before releasing.

Elara watched him, steadily, her heart in her throat.

"I didn't want you to -" He hesitated, ran his tongue over his lower lip. "I didn't want you to go with Potter."

Her fingers tightened on the cloth she was holding. "Are you - serious?"

Draco looked away, poking his tongue into his cheek. "You're surprised?"

Elara looked at the ceiling in frustration. "You can't lie to me and manipulate me into not going to Hogsmeade just because you have some kind of - inferiority complex!"

Draco's lips pressed into a line, a muscle in his jaw twitching.

"What is  _ with  _ you and this  _ obsession _ with Harry?" Elara demanded, throwing the cloth down onto the table. "I can't keep getting caught in the middle of this, Draco."

Draco's eyes dragged back to hers. "I already  _ fucking  _ told you -"

"Yes," Elara snapped, impatiently. "The only thing that Harry has - that you want - is me."

She could see the anger flash on Draco's face, could see he hated how she threw something he said when he was vulnerable back in his face.

Elara went on, stepping forward and tilting her head back to gaze up at him. "The thing is, Draco," she said, defiantly, raising her eyebrows at him, "you already  _ have  _ me. Harry never did and you  _ do.  _ So stop fucking manipulating me."

Some of the animosity died in Draco's body language. His shoulders relaxed although his eyes still flashed at her unforgiving tone. "Maybe if you spent less time with him -"

"You are  _ not  _ going to pin this on me," Elara said, curtly, sending him a stern look. "This is  _ your  _ issue and  _ you  _ have to fix it within yourself. I will spend time with who I want to, when I want to."

Draco's features hardened.

Quickly, she rushed on before he could explode. " _ You  _ are the person I spent a year sneaking around with. You're the one who I spent the night of the Ball with - Harry even left early to be with Ginny.  _ You  _ are the one who I let make love to me that night, Draco. Not Harry Potter."

She crinkled her nose at the thought. "Even the thought is -"

Draco shut his eyes, holding up his hand. "Don't put the image into my head."

The corner of her lips turned up and she stepped closer, brushing some lint off his shoulder.

He caught her hand in his, pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist before dropping it. "I still think I'm justified," he said, softly, but his eyes were calmer, fixed on hers.

Elara wondered how he was keeping his cool. "Why?"

Draco exhaled, loudly, raking his fingers through his hair. "I..." He cleared his throat, turned away, slightly. "I tried to be friends with him - in the very first year."

Elara nodded, slowly. "I remember hearing about that."

"But Potter - he's the most dim-witted twat I've ever met. He chose fucking  _ Weasley _ over me."

Elara raised her eyebrow and Draco rolled his eyes, realising they were both her friends. "My ego was hurt for a while, I'll admit," he explained, following her hands as they began to unbutton her robes.

It was hot in the classroom and shedding her robes would considerably lower her temperature, especially when she was wearing just a loose sweater and a skirt underneath.

"And?" she prodded, trying to focus him again.

"And," Draco went on, snapping his eyes back to hers. "And from then on after, he always had everything I wanted."

Elara's fingers froze in surprise.

"I never really craved the celebrity attention he got - I got enough of that just by being born into my family," Draco snorted. "But Potter always had people to turn to. He had people to ask for help from. Dumbledore fucking  _ adores  _ him." It was a sneer. "Gives Gryffindor two hundred house points just because Potter breathed nice."

His eyes dropped back to her hands as they began to slide her robes off. He stepped closer, large hands gripping her robe to help her out of it easier. She shivered at the contact.

"And he had friends who - who actually cared for him. Merlin knows why, the guy's a -" He caught Elara's gaze and stopped his insulting statement. "Point is, he had Weasley and Granger and half the school on his side."

Elara placed her neatly folded robes on the table next to them, glad for the cool air that brushed against her skin. "Draco, you had the  _ entire  _ school at your beck and call -"

"Yes but -" He hesitated, looking away as if it pained him to say this. "But it was only because of my father, really. And my inheritance."

He scoffed. "People cared about Potter because he was  _ him _ . A fucking saint. And believe it or not..." Draco looked away again, his throat bobbing.

Elara reached for his hand, intertwined their fingers and dragged her thumb across the back of it. "What?"

Draco stared at her and she saw the muscles in his shoulders tense. "I was - jealous that he didn't have a family."

Elara's heart cracked and she felt her eyes sting as he went on.

"I envied how he had no one breathing down his neck, no one forcing him to do this and do that and say this and say that and -  _ don't you dare step one foot out of line or you'll be punished."  _ He mimicked Lucius. "I envied how he didn't have parents with impossible expectations."

Elara released a shaky breath, squeezed his hand.

"I hated that his parents had died for him - had sacrificed themselves out of  _ love.  _ My parents -" Draco averted his eyes with a humourless smile. "My father wouldn't even blink if something happened to me."

"That's not true -"

"It is. It is."

Elara sniffed, a stray tear slipping from her eye. Draco raised his other arm, brushed it away and rested his hand there for a moment.

"Potter felt more love from his parents than I ever have," he said, quietly. "And he was a baby when they died. I've been with mine for eighteen years."

Elara's throat constricted and she locked eyes with him, trying to reassure him without speaking.

"And then, there was always the problem of Granger, of course," Draco laughed, softly.

"Hermione?" Elara inquired, frowning.

Draco nodded, the tiniest of smiles on his face. "I had a crush on her - repulsive, I know."

"It's not  _ repulsive!"  _ Elara defended, sharply, smacking his arm. "She's an amazing girl."

He rolled his eyes. "If by amazing, you mean insufferable, boring, oh-so-self-righteous, and a  _ prude -" _

"I  _ will _ punch your face in."

"I liked her the first three years here. And I always thought she was head over heels for Potter. So I guess that only added to the whole cauldron."

Draco searched her face, eyes flicking between hers. "So, yes. I guess I do feel I'm justified in being a  _ bit _ ...sensitive on the whole Saint Potter topic."

Elara was silent for a while, composing her thoughts before she spoke. "I'm still yours."

Draco faltered, staring at her.

"Yours," she repeated, her heart beating fast, voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes turned dark and he dipped his head. He pressed his mouth to hers, hands immediately grasping onto her hips to yank her closer.

She giggled, breathlessly, at his enthusiastic response but forced herself to pull away. "No - no. We have to clean these things before Slughorn returns."

Draco groaned but stepped back, a hand still on her hip. "Fine."

As she turned to reach for one of the many vials on the shelf in the cabinet, she felt Draco's hand slide to her arse, giving it a good squeeze, making her gasp in shock and whirl around to bat at his hand.

His tone was smooth, a slow, lazy grin on his face, silver eyes already hazy. "But I  _ am  _ fucking you on this desk afterwards."


	37. thirty seven

"IT'S GOING TO FALL."

"It's not going to fall."

"It's going to fall."

"It's not going to -"

_ Crash! _

"I told you."

Elara huffed and bent to pick the box up off the floor, hauling it onto the desk. "Maybe if you  _ helped,  _ I'd be able to get it up onto the shelf easier."

Draco looked unbothered from where he was sprawled out in the chair behind the Professor's desk, legs stretched out on the table, tossing a small crystal sphere in his hand.

"I've got such a splendid view of you from over here," he drawled, meeting her eyes and smirking as he caught the sphere again. "I think I'll stay right where I am."

Elara rolled her eyes and sighed, deeply. "You really are a prat, you know that, right?"

He stopped tossing the crystal ball to tap his index to his temple. "Memorised."

Elara shook her head with a smile and hefted the heavy box into her arms once more. She lifted it above her head, stretching onto her tiptoes to try and fit it into the top shelf of the cabinet.

Draco's eyes burned into her back.

She wobbled and pushed herself up further, as far as she could go, managing to get the edge of the box onto the shelf but nothing more.

She heard a sigh and the sound of Draco sliding his legs off the desk and her arms burned as she waited for him to come up behind her.

"You're so tiny, it's ridiculous," he breathed in her ear, his arms coming into her view as he reached up and grasped the box, pushing it into the top shelf with no effort.

He, simultaneously, dropped a kiss to the side of her head and she relaxed her body, dropping her arms and sinking back into him.

"You're just tall," she replied, his warmth seeping into her and making her feel giddy.

"Mmm," he hummed, nose brushing her jaw as he kissed below her ear. She exhaled, blissfully, letting her eyes fall shut. "Now, get back to work."

Elara groaned as he pulled away, moving back to the teacher's desk and settling back onto the chair. "You're in detention too, you know."

"Only 'cause you were busy daydreaming about my dick in Potions."

Elara's eyes flew open and she whirled around to glare at him, a cocky grin plastered on his face. " _ You're  _ the one who blew up your own cauldron."

Draco shrugged, nonchalant. "I thought purple suited Fletcher."

Elara giggled with a shake of her head, facing the cabinet again. She'd been at this for an hour now and had made good progress.

She reached for a container filled with tiny vials and jars, pulling them out to line them up on the third shelf. "You really have a vendetta against everyone, don't you?"

"Correct. Except you."

Elara's chest warmed but she didn't stop moving, reaching for another vial. "No wonder you get into so much trouble -  _ ow!" _

She hissed, dropping the glass vial she'd just closed her fingers around and cradling her hand.

Draco was behind her in an instant, turning her around to face him. He picked up her hand, examined the small cut on her palm under her thumb. "You can never stop hurting yourself, can you?"

Elara watched as a drop of blood gathered over the tiny cut. "It's not my fault. The vial was broken."

Draco shook his head, a few strands of his blond hair falling over his forehead. "You sure you don't have some kind of pain kink?" His tone was teasing and he meant it as a joke but it made Elara's core come alive. She flushed pink.

He saw the look in her eyes and seemed shocked, his eyes dragging over her face, catching the blush and the way she shifted, her wrist still in his hand. "Merlin's fucking beard. Don't tell me you actually -"

"Shut up," she muttered, trying to pull her hand out of his grip. She tried to force the blush away but it only made her further redden.

She yanked her hand out of his grip but he caught it as soon as she did and she raised her eyes to his, questioningly.

Her heartbeat quickened at the dark look in his eye - one she knew well. Keeping his eyes on hers, he lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed it full against his lips, right over the cut.

Elara's heart dropped into her stomach as she gasped, the stinging sensation somehow the most erotic thing she'd ever experienced.

She found it impossible to drag her eyes away from his as he swiped his tongue over the cut and then pulled back, his tongue running over his lip.

"Look at you," he said, his voice low. "Who would've thought that  _ you  _ \- out of all people - would've liked that?"

Desire roared to life in Elara's core, making her nerves fizzle. She watched as Draco dropped his head, his mouth barely ghosting over hers. "You like being hurt, hmm?"

She almost moaned at the tone of his voice. Shivers raced through her body as her eyes fell on his pink lips and she tilted her head upwards, silently begging him to kiss her.

"Tell me, Elara."

She gathered her courage, gave the smallest of nods.

Draco clicked his tongue, one hand gliding up her body to wrap around her throat and shove her back against the cabinet, the shelves digging into her back. "Use that pretty little mouth of yours. I won't ask again."

Elara swallowed hard, her heart pounding against her ribs. She licked her lips, Draco hissed at the movement, his pupils blown out from lust. "Yes," she whispered, her throat dry and butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach.

The ravenous hunger on Draco's face was replaced with something darker. "Get on your knees."

Elara stared at him, her lips parting, already wet from just his tone.

One large hand knotted in her hair, yanking her head back, sharply, rings biting into her scalp. He brought his mouth over hers, not kissing her but barely touching."I said, get on your  _ fucking  _ knees." His grip tightened in her hair, just enough to be painful and make Elara even more aroused. "Or I'll make you."

Elara was sorely tempted to take the offer but obeyed, dropping to her knees in front of him, as his hands made quick work of his belt buckle. She waited, patiently, getting more turned on by the second as she looked up at him, finding his eyes hazy with desire.

"Such a good girl," he murmured, one hand moving to the back of her head, the other shoving down the waistband of his trousers. Elara's tongue darted out to wet her lips at the sight of him, hard in front of her. "Open."

She did as he said and opened her mouth, thrills sweeping through her, heading straight for her core. He shifted his hips forward, the tip brushing her tongue and she raised her hands, wrapping them around the base and licking a hot stripe along the length of him.

He hissed through his teeth, hand tangling in her hair, rings catching onto the dark strands.  _ "Fuck." _

Elara had never done this with Draco before - but she forced herself not to feel self-conscious as she took as much as she comfortably could of him into her mouth. Draco was panting hard just a minute later, head falling back, eyes shutting as she bobbed her head and swirled her tongue around the tip, inhaling through her nose.

A groan fell from his lips as she twisted her hands, dragging her mouth back to let him go. "Keep fucking going - " His hand in her hair tugged her forward and she let out a small gasp at the momentum but it was muffled as he thrust into her mouth, making the most erotic sound she'd ever heard.

She clenched her thighs together as she took him halfway again but Draco's hand tightened in her hair as he pushed further into her mouth, almost making her gag. "No -  _ fuck -  _ take all of it."

Elara's core tightened at how dominant he sounded, his tone dark, voice low, as if he wasn't even giving her the choice. Which he wasn't as he forced her head further down, hitting the back of her throat as he did so and making a strangled noise as she almost choked on him. " _ Shit -  _ so wet - and  _ warm." _

Elara moaned around him even as her eyes watered. He pulled out of her mouth and thrust back in, his eyes focused on her, as he found a merciless pace.

Elara could do nothing but move her hands to rest on his muscled thighs as he fucked her mouth, hissing when she flicked her tongue over the tip. "Such a little -  _ slut." _

Her pulse thrummed, painfully, in her neck as he tore away from her suddenly, gripping her elbows to pull her to her feet and tug his trousers up before he shoved her onto the desk behind him, warm hands on her knees to spread her legs apart.

The breath knocked out of her, Elara waited in impatient silence as he bunched her skirt up at her hips, one hand moving her underwear to the side, the other moving to his mouth to wet two fingers in the most  _ sensual  _ way Elara had ever seen before he plunged them into her.

She let out a loud cry as he stood between her legs, pumping his fingers in and out of her so roughly it was almost painful. " _ Fuck,  _ I didn't expect you to be so fucking  _ wet _ ."

Pleasure ricocheted through her body and she gasped just before Draco's hand came down on her mouth, simultaneously curling his fingers inside her.

Elara bit down on his hand and he hissed, eyes intense as they met hers, before he smirked.

_ Smirked. _

Then, he was pulling away and Elara's vision flashed white for a moment at the deprivation. When it cleared, she gazed at him, chest heaving, eyes bright. "Draco - "

The words died in her throat as she caught sight of the small glass shard in Draco's hand as he muttered a Cleaning Charm under his breath. She wondered how he even thought of that through the hormonal haze.

"You like pain, right?" The smirk on his face was almost wicked and she caught the glint in his eye as he bent over her to press a chaste kiss against her mouth. "Tell me when to stop."

With that, he dragged the edge of the shard - which wasn't  _ as  _ sharp as she'd expected it to be - down her throat, his other hand finding the space between her thighs and pushing into her again.

Elara couldn't help the whimper that escaped her lips, her heart fluttering and her core tightening around his slender fingers.

"Be quiet," he hissed at her, harshly, as he dug the shard in just a little below her collarbone - enough to pain but not enough to draw blood. She swallowed her moans as he thrust his fingers in and out of her, pushing her sweater up and over her chest, moving the glass to the space between her breasts. "Can't believe you're such a fucking  _ whore _ ."

Elara almost orgasmed at his tone but her attention was drawn away when he skimmed the shard lower, down her stomach, scratching a light line. It stung - in the best way possible - but she needed  _ more. _

"Please," she mewled, arching her back as his thumb circled her clit and pressed down on it.

"Please  _ what _ ?" Draco demanded, looking as aroused as she was as he pumped in and out of her. "What do you want, Elara?"

She couldn't answer, her breaths coming out in choppy gasps, as he fingered her.

"Tell me," he ordered although she knew he already had an idea. He just wanted to hear her say it.  _ "Elara." _

Her name sounded like heaven falling from his lips and she gasped out, her heart racing, euphoria making her toes curl. "More," she choked out and he smirked again.

"She wants more," he mused, sliding his fingers out of her and she groaned in frustration. But then he was spreading her legs wider and moving to his knees in front of her. "Since you've been  _ such  _ a good girl, you'll get it."

Elara knew what was coming next and her stomach twisted into knots in anticipation. Then Draco's mouth was on her and she let out a yelp, her back lifting off the table, hands digging into his hair.

He hummed against her, flicking his tongue against her clit. "I thought I told you to  _ be quiet." _

He pulled away from her, tilting his head to rest on her left thigh as he brought the glass shard to her other thigh, eyes flicking to hers as he pressed it in - enough to draw a bead of blood.

Elara gasped, her head knocking back against the desk, the pain and pleasure mixing to make a combination close to perfect. But when Draco pressed his mouth against the cut and sucked on it, she was a mess underneath him, trying her best to keep her moans in.

Then he was on his feet again, tossing the piece of glass away and pulling her further down the desk to flip her over, sliding her unfolded robe underneath her as he did so.

"I'm going to fuck you now."

Elara nodded, delirious with desire, barely registering the sound of him shoving down his trousers and the feeling of him spreading her legs wide.

His hand came down on her ass so hard, she bit into her hand to keep from crying out, her eyes stinging. She knew she could tell him to stop whenever but it felt too good to get the words out.

"You said you liked pain," he growled from behind her and she felt him at her entrance and tightened her hand over the edge of the desk. "So take it."

Then, he was inside her, slamming into her so roughly she jolted forward on the table.

" _ Yes - fuck - " _

His voice was music to her ears as he pounded into her, his hand coming down onto her ass every once in a while, grabbing and soothing the skin for a moment afterwards before doing it again. A wail began to rip from Elara's throat but Draco silenced it by pushing her head into the table so her cheek was pressed against it.

"Shut  _ up,"  _ he rasped, low and dangerous, as he rammed his hips into her again and Elara's stomach contracted, her head beginning to spin with the effort of keeping herself quiet.

Draco was merciless as he fucked her, one hand alternating between holding her head down against the table and gripping her hip to keep her still as he thrust into her, relentlessly.

Elara bit down on her lip so hard, she drew blood and his sharp eyes caught it. He slowed his pace, leaning over her to kiss her hard and she moaned into his mouth as his tongue swiped over her lower lip. He pulled away, reluctantly, and resumed his assault of her body, ramming his hips into her ass so hard she knew there'd be bruises tomorrow.

"Fucking  _ hell,"  _ he growled out, overcome with pleasure himself as she clenched around him, He brought his hand down again on her ass and she gasped, her eyes falling shut.

Then, he was pulling out of her, turning her over again, easily and bending her legs at the knee, draping them over his shoulders before he plunged into her again with a hiss, Elara's back arching.

Draco picked up the pace again, one large hand gripping her throat, the other one wrapped around her ankle over his shoulder to keep her legs there.

Elara's eyes rolled back into her head, losing her breath everytime he thrust into her, his eyes focused on her face, watching as it contorted in pleasure, her lips parting.

"Fuck, El - I'm - "

They came at the same time and it was one of the most explosive orgasms Elara had ever had. She could feel the blood rushing in her ears as her body convulsed, her legs trembling, as Draco kept himself inside her, buried to the hilt, as he came.

It was a while before she came down again and when she did, Draco had removed her legs from over his shoulders and was slumped over her, his head buried in her neck. "Fuck," he mumbled against her damp skin. "I've really got to take you like that more often."

|

"What are you guys up to?"

Hermione and Elara looked up as Harry approached them, yawning, his dark hair ruffled. It was early in the morning - even before breakfast - and they hadn't expected anyone to be up.

"'Mione's helping me with History of Magic," Elara said, easily, as Hermione discreetly shut the book they'd been pouring over about Dark Magic and slid it into her bag. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," Harry winced as he gingerly touched his scar. "Blasted thing's been bothering me the entire night."

"Why don't you take a Draught from Madam Pomfrey?" Elara asked, sympathetically, as he slid into the bench opposite them at the Gryffindor table.

"Doesn't help," he mumbled with a sigh. "Plus, even if my scar wasn't bothering me,  _ Snape  _ has been. The Occlumency classes with him have been torture." Harry dropped his head onto his arms, his voice muffled. "I think he's taking revenge on me for what I did to Malfoy."

Hermione and Elara shared a look. "I never got to ask," Elara began, slowly. "What in the world was that curse you used on him?"

Harry shook his head as he lifted it. "Some dumb spell I found in this stupid notebook." He took it out of his pocket, glancing around although there was no one else in the Great Hall. "Here."

_ Sectumsempra. _

Elara studied the wand motion, memorised the word. If it came down to a battle, no way in hell was she solely relying on Expelliarmuses.

"I didn't know what it did," Harry muttered as he put away the notebook again, into the inner pocket of his robes. "And I have no idea who the fucking  _ Half-Blood Prince  _ is but I will probably use this very same spell on him when I find him."

"You have to be careful, Harry," Hermione cautioned, looking at him with worried brown eyes. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Me?" Harry joked but it was weak. He looked exhausted. "When do I ever do anything stupid?"

Elara smiled, reaching down to get a book from her bag. She grimaced as she shifted on the bench, the ache between her thighs chafing. Memories of detention a few days ago rose to the front of her mind and she tried her best not to turn red, banishing thoughts of Draco from her brain.

But -

Maybe she'd take Madam Pomfrey up on that Draught.

  
  



	38. thirty eight

THE LETTER WAS NOT PLEASANT.

Elara winced as she read it, skimming over her parents' harsh words. It was in her mother's handwriting but she knew her father would've been bent over the table next to her, adding and dictating what to write.

_... Your teachers have informed us that you are still not first in all your classes - save for Astronomy and Herbology. You know how proud we are of you for those two achievements but you are also aware of how we only want the best education for you so that you have a shot at the best future. _

_ Therefore, we are considering pulling you out of Hogwarts and sending you to another Magical School - maybe Beauxbatons or Ilvermorny - if you don't take first place by the end of this year. _

_ It would pain us to do this as we know how much you love Hogwarts, Elara, but please keep in mind that you have all the opportunities we didn't. We only want you to be able to take all of them. And both Beauxbatons and Ilvermorny are outstanding institutions and we know you'll flourish in both of them. _

_ Take care of your sisters and make sure Amelia wears her coat wherever she goes. You know how she gets sick so easily. _

_ Lots and lots of love, _

_ Mum and Dad _

_ P.S: You're still very much in trouble for skipping Christmas. _

"What's that?"

Elara glanced up, sighing as she saw Indigo and Tracy slide onto the sofa in the common room, next to her armchair.

"Letter from my parents," Elara answered Tracy, folding and pocketing the letter. "Just another plea to excel in class."

Indigo furrowed her eyebrows, settling back into the sofa with a yawn. "Elara, the lowest rank you've ever gotten is third."

"I know," Elara replied, quietly. "But you know my parents. Isaac and Freya were always first in their year."

"It's not your fault you got stuck with Hermione and Malfoy," snorted Tracy. "You're already working so hard. Why can't that be enough for them?"

Elara shrugged, the letter feeling heavy in her pocket.

The silence between the three of them was tensed and she pretended not to notice, looking down at the book she'd borrowed from the library, regarding Helena Ravenclaw's spell.

"El..." Indigo began, her voice trailing off. Out of the corner of her eye, Elara saw both her friends exchange looks. "They asked us to join the DA."

Elara looked up, raising her eyebrows. "You obviously said yes."

Tracy let out a nervous laugh, tying her auburn hair into a tight knot. "Yeah...We just - We're scared."

"Why did you say yes?"

Indigo blinked and Tracy looked down.

"It was the right thing to do," Indigo responded, softly. "We couldn't turn our backs on our home and our friends - especially not on you."

"We couldn't leave you alone," Tracy continued, giving Elara a wobbly smile. "So although we're scared shitless over what could happen if You-Know-Who actually attacks Hogwarts..."

"We're going to stand and fight beside you anyway," Indigo finished.

Elara had barely had a proper conversation with either of them for the longest time and now, here they were, telling her they would sacrifice their lives for her.

It made tears hit the back of her eyes.

"Don't cry!" Tracy gasped, hurrying over and collapsing onto the armrest of the armchair Elara was curled up on, wrapping her arm around her. "We didn't mean to -"

"No," Elara stammered, blinking away her tears. "I've just -"

She couldn't seem to get the words out - finally feeling a little less alone. She'd only had Draco to rely on the past few months - and although he took up all her time and consumed her in every way possible, she'd ached for the friendships she'd seemed to have lost with her childhood best friends.

Indigo joined them on the other armrest, her hand resting on Elara's back. "We missed you too."

|

"I think this might work."

"Are you... Are you sure?" Hermione inquired, her voice quivering, as they sat hunched over an enormous, dusty book opened before them.

"You should double check it but... I'm pretty sure it will. I'll try to find Helena to see if she can help us any more."

"She hasn't showed up for months," Hermione reminded her, rubbing a tired hand over her face. She looked like she'd aged five years with all the stress of modifying this Dark spell.

"I know," Elara sighed, dropping her head onto her arms on the table. "But I really can't think of a better option to find out if this really could work."

Hermione nodded.

|

"You've been crying."

Elara looked up, hastily wiped her tears. She was sitting on the floor against the wall in the Astronomy Tower, letting the breeze listen to and carry away her sorrows. "What are you doing here?"

Draco was wearing a loose white dress shirt with the Slytherin tie around his neck, his robes draped over one arm. "You do know this used to be  _ my  _ place before I brought you up here, right?"

Elara sighed, giving him a watery smile despite her best efforts to collect herself. "Right. I'm sorry." She climbed to her feet, rubbed her sleeve against her cheek to brush away another stray tear. "I'm going."

She had made it halfway across the floor to the twisting staircase when Draco's large hand wrapped around her elbow, tugging her back. "I didn't tell you to leave."

Elara's heart turned fuzzy and she let him pull her to his chest, draping his robes onto the back of the old chair nearby while wrapping his other arm around her, simultaneously.

He didn't ask what was wrong - he probably already knew it had something to do with her parents.

She loved how he always knew. Never asked questions, never prodded. It somehow made falling apart easier.

Elara inhaled the scent of mint and green apples, pressing her cheek against his strong shoulder, her arms coiling around his torso.

His lips were a soft caress - a reassuring statement without words - as he pressed them to the crown of her head, one arm looping around the back of her shoulders, the other buried in her soft hair.

Elara's eyes fluttered shut and she pressed herself closer to him, relishing the feeling of strong, muscled arms around her and a firm, tall body against hers.

She never wanted to let go.

Elara had already concluded that she was in deep - it had been impossible to ignore any longer when he'd dropped a quick kiss to her forehead after walking her to the Ravenclaw common room late one weekend, following two hours together on the shore of the Great Lake.

They'd skipped stones - he was better at it than she was - and they'd talked for a long time, although he hadn't touched her much.

She knew he wasn't used to displays of affection, knew it'd take him time to adjust.

For him, she was willing to wait.

"Come to my room tonight."

Elara pulled back an inch, looked up at him. He dragged his thumb across her cheekbone and her eyelashes fluttered.

"I'm..." She tried to form the words to tell him she didn't want to have sex tonight.

"Not to fuck," Draco said, bluntly, reading her mind. His silver eyes were focused on her face, traveling over the worry lines, the little crease between her eyebrows, her puffy eyes. "I haven't been able to sleep lately and it's really pissing me the fuck off."

Butterflies sprung to life in Elara's stomach, making her nerves tingle. "And you think I can help?"

He quirked an eyebrow, the corner of his lips turning up. "I mean... Maybe not  _ sex  _ but you  _ could  _ suck -"

Elara whacked him, flushing pink, and he laughed, quietly, pushing a strand of her hair out of her face. "I'm kidding."

She met his eyes again, curling her fingers into the front of his shirt. "What about Blaise? If he sees me there -"

"I really could not care less," Draco said, raising a shoulder. "He can think I'm fucking you and will just assume you've got some  _ wonderful -" _

Elara groaned at his vulgar words and rolled her eyes. "You really are sex-crazed, aren't you?"

Draco gave a slow shrug as if to say  _ 'maybe'.  _ "With you, can you blame me?"

Elara giggled, meeting his lips as he dipped his head down to kiss her, lightly.

"Mmm, I have to go," Draco murmured against her mouth a moment later. "Got blasted Divination in ten minutes."

Elara pouted, watching as he stepped back from her, hair mussed up by the breeze.

His hand came up, rings glinting, to loosen his tie around his neck as his other hand grabbed his robes off the back of the chair. "Ten o'clock tonight. Don't be late."

He caught sight of her pout, smiled and pressed another quick kiss to her lips. "I'll make up for it later."

With that, he turned and strode away in that relaxed, confident way of his, glancing at his watch as he did so.

Elara wondered how she could find someone  _ so  _ attractive.

|

"Blaise is out getting shit-faced in some bathroom on the seventh floor with some Slytherin girls so you don't have to worry about anything."

Elara nodded as Draco shut the door behind her, shrugging off her jacket now that she was in his warm room.

"You still have the stars on the ceiling," she commented, glancing up with a smile as starlight rained down from another supernova.

"Just put them up there," he answered as he poured a glass of Firewhiskey. "I don't know how the fuck you sleep with them. They keep fucking exploding."

Elara laughed, softly, taking the glass he offered to her. "Space is kind of our thing. I guess I'm used to it."

She downed the glass, quickly, glad for the added warmth even if it burned her throat. Throwing her jacket over the back of his chair, she turned to face him as he raised his glass to his lips, silver eyes on her.

"Can I..." She hesitated, took a breath and tried again. "Can I have one of your shirts?"

Draco's hand paused, his rings tightening, minimally, over the glass. Elara almost held her breath - she had no idea how he would react.

It was one of those things that they'd never talked about - not that they'd talked much about whatever was going on between them. Elara didn't know what step was too far, what line she couldn't cross. With Draco, it was impossible to know.

Then he flicked his hand, casually, and the top drawer of the dresser opened, a folded shirt flying out, and he caught it. "Don't even have to ask."

Thrilled, Elara moved to reach for it but he clicked his tongue at her, raising an eyebrow. "Take off your clothes." He set his glass down back on the trolley.

Elara blinked at him and then obeyed, sliding out of her midnight blue sweater and shorts as he walked over to her, sliding the white shirt over each of her arms and then coming around to her front to button it up.

"Not very fair," Draco muttered under his breath as his eyes took in her bare body in from head to toe, his fingers nevertheless buttoning up the shirt.

It fell to her knees, enveloped her hands and smelled delightfully of him.

"I'm going to have a hard time keeping my hands to myself, knowing you're naked underneath my shirt."

Elara giggled, looking down as his long fingers fixed another button. "Aren't I always naked underneath my clothes?"

"Not like  _ this,"  _ he huffed but there was a teasing glint in his eyes. He finished the last button and she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes to kiss him. "Get in bed."

Elara didn't protest, already exhausted from the long day she'd had. The silk emerald sheets were soft and welcoming against her worn out body as she slid into them, sighing in bliss.

Draco joined her a few minutes later after flicking his wand and drawing the large curtains over the window looking out under the lake.

"Do you ever see the Giant Squid?" Elara yawned as she watched him walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, sliding off his rings and placing them on his bedside table. She noticed he left the dragon one on.

"Sometimes," he answered, shortly, craning his neck and rubbing it as if he had an ache. "Poor guy's seen me in some questionable situations."

Elara smiled, turning on her side to face his back as she reached out, dragging her fingers down it. He shuddered, turned to lean over her and press a chaste kiss to her mouth.

"Come sleep," she told him, already struggling to keep her eyes open.

And he did, strong arms sliding around her to bury her into his chest, his breath brushing against her hair as he sighed and shut the lights off with a flick of his wrist.

She delved further into his warmth, resting her head comfortably in the crook of his neck, memorising the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, his pulse a steady thrum against her ear.

"My friends and I are finally okay again." Her voice was muffled as she spoke.

"Oh?" Draco murmured, his breath ghosting the top of her head. He dragged his long fingers down her spine then back up, the dragon ring deliciously cold on her skin while his hands were warm. "Even Banks?"

She began to shake her head, realised she couldn't really in this position. "He talked to me about Cho last week but... nothing else."

"You never told me why he started hating you."

Elara hesitated. She couldn't tell Draco about the DA. Could she?

"It's unimportant." She yawned again and Draco pulled back, one hand catching her jaw.

His mouth met hers, soft and inviting and positively addicting, and she began to rethink the whole no-sex-tonight thing.

But when she slid her tongue against his and made to straddle him, he stopped her, large hands pressing against her hips to keep her on the bed.

"Not right now," he whispered, silver eyes sleepy in the darkness. "But I will  _ definitely  _ take you up on that offer tomorrow morning."

She breathed out an 'okay', settled back into his muscled arms as he drew her closer again.

Elara kissed his jaw, tenderly, felt his thumbs circle, comfortingly, over her skin underneath his shirt. He was warm and familiar and hers.

It was a feeling she hoped she'd never forget.

And as she drifted off to sleep, finally able to find her escape in the arms of a silver-eyed Slytherin boy, she realised that he had asked her to come here more for her sake than his.

  
  



	39. thirty nine

ELARA COULDN'T PICTURE A PRETTIER SIGHT.

He was still sleeping, his features freed from the icy mask he always wore, the sunlight filtering through the thin curtains - enough to make him look godly. His white-blond hair was soft and tousled and Elara combed her fingers through it, not wanting to wake him but unable to resist touching him.

He was sprawled out, facing her, his breaths coming out in small puffs as he slept, all straight nose and sharp jaw. Elara envied him for being so beautiful.

She traced her fingers down the side of his chiseled face, curving them along his jaw, before trailing them down his throat, stopping to feel the comforting hum of his pulse against her fingertips.

_ Mine. _

He had been right - she was his in every shape and form. For a long time now, she hadn't been anything but his.

They had warned her - the entire school had unknowingly warned her that he wasn't someone she wanted to be involved with. The Golden Trio despised him, her own Ravenclaw friends were wary of him because of his last name and the whole school whispered about Lucius Malfoy and his devotion to the Dark Lord whenever Draco strode past.

Draco Malfoy was indeed a sleeping dragon but Elara was ready to get burned if it meant she could lay with him.

"Are you done memorising my face now?"

Elara blinked out of her daze because his voice -  _ oh, Merlin's beard, his voice -  _ was the most beautiful sound to her ears. It was rough with sleep, a rasp to it that she'd never heard before, tired and without the usual edge it usually had.

"How are you so..." Her voice trailed off in awe as she looked at him. "You look like everything I ever found attractive - but never knew I did."

Draco raised an eyebrow, his silver eyes clouded over with sleep. "Are you calling me handsome?"

"Understatement," she mumbled under her breath as her eyes took in his pink lips and the cupid's bow, as well as the small beauty spot on his jaw. "I should sketch you."

Draco's eyes seemed to clear from sleep and he tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "How about a nude portrait?" he said, roughly, his voice laced with desire all of a sudden. "Except we're both naked and I'm inside you and there's no drawing involved."

Elara smiled despite the dark shivers that raced through her body at his words. "I might take you up on that offer later."

He made a sound in the back of his throat as she pulled away from him and slid out of bed, stretching her arms above her head, his shirt riding up to brush her hips.

"Fucking hell," he grumbled under his breath as he propped himself up on his elbows, strands of his hair falling forward onto his forehead. "Get back here and let me fuck you."

Elara giggled, walking over to his side of the large bed, the fact that his eyes were glued to her legs not lost on her. "Shower first."

Draco groaned, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "What's the  _ point  _ if we're just gonna get dirty again - "

She silenced him by tugging on his hand, pulling him to his feet and he made an annoyed sound akin to a growl before his hands grabbed onto the back of her thighs, hoisting her up and around him as he walked towards the bathroom.

"You're impossible to live with," he breathed and she gave him a glare, yanking on his hair, sharply, and squeezing her legs around his waist. "And if you keep doing that, I will not hesitate to drop you right now onto this floor and make you scream."

"Stop talking like that," she chided but tingles swept through her body. He shook his head with a roll of his eyes as he passed over the threshold into the bathroom, the air cooling.

He set her down onto the floor, cold tiles hitting the bottom of her feet.

"This is so unfair," Elara complained as she stood in front of the large black marble counter where the sink was. "You've got your  _ own  _ fucking bathroom and it looks like  _ this?" _

All black marble and shiny faucets, accompanied with a huge rectangular mirror above the sink. It wasn't  _ enormous  _ but it was definitely ten times better than the bathroom she shared with her roommates in her dorm.

Draco seemed unfazed as he reached behind him, yanking his shirt up and over his head, tossing it onto the floor. The breath left Elara's lungs. "They tried to put me back into the dorm when I began to neglect my Prefect duties this year."

Elara hummed, barely listening as her eyes roamed his chest, over the glorious, creamy expanse of skin, the pinkish scars stretching over it. It somehow made him look even more rugged and it was making Elara's knees weaken.

"I swear to Salazar, Jacobs, if you keep looking at me like that..." His voice was dark, the undertones of lust evident.

She looked up at him through her lashes and he huffed in exasperation, hands going to her hips to spin her around and face the mirror.

"You're the one who wanted to shower first," he muttered as he reached forward to pluck a spare toothbrush from the glass cupboard above the sink and hand it to her. "So stop fucking tempting me."

She sent him a look but nevertheless, kept quiet.

"You've got toothpaste in your hair," Draco said, his own mouth filled with toothpaste a few moments later.

"Always happens," Elara sighed, splashing the running water onto her face and cleaning her long, dark strands. She placed the toothbrush back into the stand, wondering with a thrill whether she'd be welcome here often enough to use it again.

She spent a few moments taming her wild, curly hair into a knot on top of her head. "So...Am I the first girl you've brought into this bathroom?" she teased, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Draco scoffed, putting his toothbrush away. "Believe it or not, you're the only girl who's ever stayed the night." He watched her as she tucked stray strands into her hairtie before reaching out to tug her hair free from it. She glared at him as her hair tumbled down her shoulders, unraveled from the bun she'd just been perfecting.

Then, large, warm hands were sliding up the sides of her thighs, turning her around to face him and gripping her waist before lifting her up onto the counter with ease. "And I want to keep it that way."

Elara's heart throbbed at his words and she draped her arms, loosely, over the back of his neck, not even flinching when his hands drifted over the chub on her stomach, giving her waist an affectionate squeeze. "You're going soft on me," she joked, fingers toying with the strands of his hair at the base of his neck.

Draco smirked, tugging her forward by her knees to press his hips firmly against hers, emitting a gasp from her mouth as she felt his erection against her. "Oh, I promise you I'm still  _ hard." _

"Gross," she choked out but pulled his mouth down to hers, his warm skin radiating heat into her. His hands took permanent residence under the shirt he'd given her, coasting up and down her sides, giving her thighs a squeeze every now and then, making her shudder.

His lips were tantalisingly gentle, leaving soft open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, making her whimper at the sensation. Soft hair brushed her chin as he dragged his mouth up the column of her throat, pressing a lingering kiss against her lips.

He tasted like mint and Draco and she melted into him, tightening her arms around his neck to try and get closer. His hands came up to cradle her face, pressing himself against the counter between her hips, tilting her head back almost all the way as his mouth came down hard on hers. Her hands fell away from his body and she pressed her palms flat on the counter behind her as she leaned back to accomodate his height and size to kiss him better.

She was in love with him.

It was the way his mouth settled over hers in kisses that would brand themselves into her memory for as long as she lived. It was the way large hands circled her waist, the dragon ring cool on her skin, and then gently glided upwards to rest against her lower rib, thumbs tracing circles on the bare skin. It was the way he nudged her head to the side to leave butterfly kisses along her jaw, nibbling on the skin, down her neck, over her collarbone where his shirt -  _ his  _ shirt that smelled like parchment and green apples and him - had fallen off her shoulder.

It was the way he saved her from Fletcher, the way he had come so close to fighting Stuart when he injured her in DADA. It was the way he brought her food when she wasn't eating, taught her everything she needed to know to pass Snape's class, let her hold him in the bathroom, gave her a family heirloom and made love to her the night of the Ball. It was the way he got detention to be with her, the way he put the stars on the ceiling because he knew she liked it, the way he looked when he slept, the way he held her against him like  _ she  _ was his saving grace. And it was the way he evoked feelings and sensations in her she'd never felt before, the way he cared without voicing it.

She was so in love with him.

And she needed to tell him. She needed to tell him because he'd never believe it - because his father was a Death Eater, because he was born into a family he had to live up to impossible standards for, because he didn't trust himself to be good.

"Draco - " she began, her heart pounding, as she pulled back an inch, watching his eyes open to look at her, silver meeting brown. The moon meeting the earth. And just like that cosmic event, Draco and Elara were never supposed to happen.

But they shattered everything now that they had.

And he knew. He knew because he was Draco and he could read her like an open book.

"Don't," he whispered, his eyes fading into something deeper and more tragic. She recognised the look - she'd seen it that night in the sixth floor bathroom when he'd cried into her neck. "Don't say it."

Her stomach dropped, her pulse thundering. "Why?" Her voice broke on the simple word.

Slender fingers drifted over her cheekbone, settling to cup her face and he dropped his forehead to rest against hers. His eyes shut. "Because if you say it, everything will fall apart." He opened his eyes, pulled back, hands sliding out from under her shirt.

Elara watched as he stepped back, raking rough fingers through his hair as he stared at the floor, conflict behind his eyes.

"And I really - " He seemed to choke on the words, glanced away, one hand spasming by his side. "I really don't want this to end - yet."

She had crossed a line. His words stung but she tried to shake it off, realising that she shouldn't have expected him to be that comfortable with her yet.

She inhaled a trembling breath, jumped off the counter, trying to dissipate the tension. At least she knew there  _ was  _ a line now.

"Do you get hot water here? Because if you don't, I'm leaving."

She was relieved to see him crack a smile.

Draco insisted they get in the bath and not the shower, even though Elara was sure her friends were probably wondering where she was by now and soaking in a hot bath sounded so tempting she knew she wouldn't be out for  _ hours  _ if it were left up to her.

But when she caught a glimpse of Draco sinking into the hot water, pale skin a contrast against the black marble of the bath tub, she found herself giving in and unbuttoning his shirt.

He watched her with hooded eyes as she did so, following her movements until she was standing by the edge of the bath.

"Are you going to wait till it cools?" Draco taunted, leaning his head back against the rim and she rolled her eyes, quickly getting in and exhaling in relief when the hot water touched her cold skin.

Draco helped her settle between his legs, her back resting against his chest and his hands came up to stroke her hair, kissing under her ear as he did so.

Elara's eyes fluttered shut as his hands traveled up and down her body, grazing over the sides of her arms and her ribs, the curve of her hips, the outside of her thighs, her stomach then back up to her shoulders and hair.

"Feels nice," she mumbled, sinking back into him, letting her head fall back against his shoulder and he grabbed her chin to turn her head so he could kiss her full on the mouth.

She loved this side of him - wished she'd never have to see the broken boy with that haunted look in his eye ever again.

She wanted him like this - soft, gentle, familiar. Everything she'd never known him to be.

But she'd take him any way she could have him.

"Stop thinking," he muttered against her skin, his fingers stroking down her arms to lace his fingers through hers, his palm against the back of her hand. "I know you're a Ravenclaw but you need to learn how to turn off that brain of yours."

"Says you," Elara huffed but she tried to wipe her mind and focus on his touch and his warm breath on her neck. "You're about as tense as Harry and he's got a fucking serial killer after him."

She felt him tense underneath her, his hands falling away from her. Elara frowned and turned her head to face him. "What?"

His eyes were unreadable - clouded over. "You're really going to talk about Potter when we're sitting in a bathtub together?"

Elara rolled her eyes, even though his tone was serious. She leaned her head back against the strong plane of his shoulder, turned her chin to place a kiss on the warm skin of his neck. "I thought I told you I was yours?"

She kept it light, not wanting to argue right now, and felt Draco exhale behind her, his arms sliding around to wrap around her torso and squeeze her to him.

"Damn right," he muttered, burying his face in her hair.

|

The next two weeks sped by. Elara barely noticed where the time went, caught between working on Dark Magic with Hermione, studying for her classes, DA sessions and snogging Draco.

There was a  _ lot  _ of snogging Draco. It wasn't  _ her  _ fault he was absolutely irresistible.

He'd walk into the Great Hall for breakfast, flanked by Pansy and Nott, looking like a  _ god  _ as he smirked at something Nott said or ran his fingers through his hair.

He'd glance at her with intense silver eyes, run his tongue over his lips, and she'd have to clutch onto the edge of the table to prevent sliding right off the bench.

And when they finally got to each other, mostly in his room, they'd waste no time in tearing each other's clothes off, although Draco usually took his sweet time when he had her on the bed.

Even sitting next to him in Potions sometimes was torture. He'd brush his hand against her bare knee, grip her thigh, rings digging into the soft skin, slide his fingers high enough to brush against the space between her thighs before pulling away, leaving her a mess.

She teased him too, not one to go down without a fight, and often pretended to reach for something across him, letting her arm brush over his crotch. She'd bend down to pick up the quill she dropped on purpose, would feel his eyes on her as if he hadn't taken her in a similar position about a hundred times.

Her hunger for him was never satiated and she knew it was the same for him. Sneaking to his room every other night was quickly becoming her favourite past time - not only because of the sex but because having him hold her afterwards was enough to make her melt.

They would fall asleep, tangled up together, his chest against her back, arms coiled tightly around her as they slept, exhausted from their activities but glad to be wrapped up in each other all the same.

Elara never wanted it to end.

|

"Did you know Indigo and Tracy joined the DA?"

Elara froze, skimmed her fingers over the top corner of the page she was reading. "I did," she said, quietly, glancing up at Stuart.

He was expressionless - nothing like the furious boy he'd been when  _ she'd  _ joined.

"Stuart," she said, anyway. "They're fully capable -"

"Of making their own choices," he finished, softly, his eyes almost dazed.

"Yeah. I know."

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what she was apologising for, just that she felt for him. Everything he'd been fighting against had come true - all three of his best friends, as well as his girlfriend, were in the DA.

Stuart shook his head, gave her a small smile. "I should've known you three would follow after me. You haven't stopped copying me since we were ten."

Elara laughed, her chest easing at his words. "Oh,  _ please.  _ We all know  _ I'm  _ the main character and you guys are just my sidekicks."

Stuart grinned, flopping down on the sofa next to her. "We'll see about that when  _ I'm  _ the one who wins the House Cup."

Elara shook her head and glanced at the grandfather clock by the bookshelf. "We should head to library. The DA meeting starts in twenty minutes."

When Stuart and Elara entered the library a few minutes later, they quickly caught sight of Indigo and Tracy sitting at one of the tables near the Herbology aisle.

Elara spotted a familiar blond head at the table next to them, one arm draped over the back of his chair, one leg propped up onto his other knee, listening to something Marcus Flint was saying to him. Her heart jumped when Draco caught her eye, not turning his head from Marcus but letting his lips turn up in a subtle smirk and tipping his head up in greeting before he dragged his eyes away from her and back to Marcus, spinning his quill in his long fingers.

"Hey," Elara chirped as she pulled out a chair at her friends' table. She'd been feeling giddy all day after morning sex with Draco, followed by a long, hot shower with him and seeing him a few metres away with his tie loosened around his neck and the first button of his white shirt open, his hair messy from running his fingers through it, was only adding to her glee. "The others aren't here yet?"

But as Stuart sank into a chair next to her, Elara caught sight of her other friends' faces. They looked like they'd just lost five hundred points from Ravenclaw - Tracy was fidgeting in her seat, Indigo picking at her nails, her mouth a thin line.

"Guys?" Stuart asked with a frown, waving his hand in front of Indigo's face. "What's wrong?"

Elara's stomach curled with dread when Indigo looked up, her eyes fixing on her. Her tanned skin was pale and her long dark hair looked like she'd been tugging on it like she did when she was angry.

Tracy, on the other hand, looked close to tears, her lip trembling as she stared at the desk, looking like someone had ripped her heart in half.

"Indi?" Elara's voice was hoarse as her brain slowly began to realise what it could be that was making her friends glare daggers at her. But there was no way. They couldn't know. They'd been so careful -

"Elara, are you sleeping with Draco Malfoy?"

  
  



	40. forty

ELARA WISHED THE GROUND WOULD OPEN AND SWALLOW HER UP.

She stared at Indigo, her heartbeat racing in her ears, as she tried to calculate how to play this. But she could see it all over her friends' faces - they believed it without a doubt.

Elara was saved from speaking when Stuart interjected, stunned, "Why the hell would you even ask that?"

Indigo didn't look away from Elara, her hands clenched into fists on the table. "Why isn't she answering?"

Elara opened her mouth but Stuart jumped in again, his tone sharper, "Indigo, you're being ridiculous."

"Really?" Indigo demanded, finally flicking her dark eyes over to look at Stuart. "So tell me why the  _ fuck  _ Fletcher Smith would lie about assaulting Elara?"

"I'm sorry -  _ what?"  _ Elara gaped, her heart dropping. She caught Draco shift in his chair nearby, obviously eavesdropping now that Indigo's voice was raised.

"Tracy found Fletcher bawling his eyes out in an empty classroom," Indigo went on, furiously. "Apparently, Malfoy's been making his life  _ hell -"  _ She glanced over at Draco as she spat out the sentence but he was doing a remarkable job of nodding along to Marcus Flint. "And as soon as Tracy asked why, he broke down and explained what he'd done to Elara."

Elara's tongue was frozen, her palms damp. They knew about Fletcher - and she couldn't come up with an excuse as to why he would lie.

"What? Are you going to say Tracy is lying?" Indigo hissed from across the table. Tracy stared at the table, letting a tear roll down her face. "Or are you going to come clean and explain to us why the  _ fuck  _ you've been sleeping with the  _ enemy?" _

Draco's hand stopped twirling the quill.

"Enemy?" Elara retorted, feeling her own temper flare up. "Even if I was sleeping with him - "

"Which you  _ are,"  _ Indigo cut her off, her voice a cutting edge. "You are because I asked. When Fletcher said that Malfoy came to your fucking rescue and has been tormenting him since, I put two and two together. Your disappearances in the middle of the night, the stupid smile you can't keep off your face in  _ any  _ class we have with him - it was all so fucking obvious. So I asked Zabini."

"You'd believe what  _ he  _ says?" Elara exclaimed, clutching at straws. But it was all unraveling - all falling apart in her hands.

"Oh, Merlin, no," laughed Indigo, harshly. "But I believe the eight portraits in the Slytherin common room."

She sent a look of disgust in Draco's direction. He still seemed unfazed, saying something to Marcus, but Elara caught the twitch in his jaw.

Elara sat back in her seat, helplessness rising in her like a nauseating wave. She couldn't get out of this.

"And what's worse," Indigo continued, dropping her voice to a whisper so Draco wouldn't hear, her eyes blazing at her best friend's lies, "is that the entire fucking  _ DA  _ know now too."

Elara's eyes snapped up, stinging, as she stared at Indigo. "You  _ told  _ them?" she whispered, not strong enough to speak. "You fucking told them?"

"Zabini did," Tracy whispered, wiping a tear away. Stuart looked dumbstruck. "Once he found out we didn't know...He wanted to see Harry's reaction when he told him one of his best friends was - sleeping with - Malfoy."

So this was what had been happening. While Elara had been enveloped in Draco's arms all morning, feeling him push inside her, his mouth hot on hers, her friends had been deciphering her lies and treachery.

"Elara..." Stuart's voice trailed off as he looked at her, pleadingly, begging her to tell him it wasn't true.

But she'd lied enough.

"I'm sorr - " she began, her throat constricting, pushing her chair back to leave but a hand came down on her shoulder and her head snapped up.

Harry was looking down at her, his mouth grim. "Sit," he said and Elara caught sight of Hermione and Ron flanking him, followed by the Weasley twins, Cho and the Patil twins.

Elara's heart lodged in her throat and she sank into her seat, not even daring to look in Draco's direction, as her friends settled around the table.

There was an uncomfortable silence, one that settled on Elara's chest like a weight. It made her stomach knot in dread, made it hard to keep her eyes from blurring with tears as she felt the disappointment hang in the air around them.

"How could you?" Harry's voice was quiet - too quiet - and crimson was beginning to creep up his neck. "Do you even  _ know  _ what you've done? Messing around with fucking  _ Malfoy?" _

Elara's left hand immediately flew to her right, her fingers tracing the snake ring. "I didn't tell him anything."

"How do we know you're not lying?" Cho asked, her mouth turned down. She sighed, heavily, buried her head in her hands. "How do we know he hasn't put you under an Imperius spell?"

"Or Obliviated you?" Padma put in, darkly.

"He wouldn't do that!" Elara countered, tightening her fingers around her ring. "He's a kid - just like us - "

"He is  _ not  _ just like us!" Harry hissed, his eyes flashing behind his glasses. "He's a Death Eater's son!"

"That doesn't make him a - "

"How do you know?" Harry sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his dark blue sweater. "How the  _ fuck  _ do you know, Elara? Have you checked for the Mark on his arm?"

"He doesn't have the bloody Mark," Elara spat, thinking of Draco holding her last night, brushing his fingers through her long hair, looking down at her with the most peaceful expression on his face. "I've seen his arms - "

"And much more, apparently," Harry interrupted, dryly, his voice rising. "Even if he doesn't have the  _ fucking  _ Mark, he is Lucius Malfoy's  _ son  _ \- "

"Which I'm sure she's well aware of, Potter." Draco's voice was smooth and cut like glass as he spoke from behind Ron where Elara couldn't see him. The air seemed to drop a few degrees in temperature as everyone seemed to suck in a breath at Draco's presence. "I'm very sorry to break up the Malfoy hate club but I do need to steal Jacobs for a moment."

Harry went rigid, his hand curling into a fist, and even Elara stiffened.

"Fuck off, Malfoy," Harry spoke through gritted teeth, not even sparing the tall, blond boy a glance.

"I will - as soon as Jacobs can find the strength to get out of that chair." Draco was behind her now and she felt his hand wrap around the back of her chair, pulling it out.

"She's not going  _ anywhere  _ \- " Indigo reached for Elara's hand across the table but Draco was faster, gripping her elbow and yanking her up from the chair. Rage flashed across Ron's face and he leaned over to reach for her but Draco clicked his tongue, stepping in between them and looking down at the redhead, almost bored.

"Touch her and I'll kill you."

Elara, still dazed, tried to say something - she didn't know what - but pulled up a blank. Her vocal cords wouldn't work right now, it seemed.

So she let Draco lead her away, not touching her at all, his back straight as he strode in front of her until they had exited the library.

The cold air of the castle didn't even make her shiver as he yanked open the door to the nearest empty classroom, letting her pass in first before stepping in and shutting the door with a click.

Elara stopped, her back to him, staring out the large window at the Quidditch pitch far away. Her mind was reeling, her heart pounding, her hands numb.

"Elara." He only ever used her first name when they were alone. "Elara -  _ fuck -  _ look at me."

She didn't, the shame in her friends' eyes burning into her mind, Harry's anger still an ache in her chest.

"Look at me." Draco took her by the shoulders, turned her to face him and she found his eyes worried and tense. "What the fuck happened?"

Elara blinked, looked down at her hands. They were trembling. Draco noticed, caught them in his large ones and brought one to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on her knuckles like he'd done a few nights ago as they'd watched the Giant Squid swim by in his room.

"Elara," he said, desperately, drawing her closer. He smelled so familiar, felt so perfect as she slumped against him, her throat closed up, making it difficult to swallow.

The way Ron had looked as he'd reached for her, to take her out of Draco's grasp. Like he'd been trying to save her from him - as if Draco was a monster.

"Please," Draco rasped in her ear, one hand burying in her long locks, the other resting on her lower back, rubbing, gently. "Tell me."

The fury in Indigo's gaze, Tracy trembling and crying, hurt by Elara's betrayal.

Elara had done this to her friends - even Fred had looked disbelieving and ashamed, George guilty.

"They know," she choked out, keeping her hands by her sides, unable to bring herself to touch him even as he held her. "They know about - us."

Draco went taut against her, pulled back an inch a moment later. "How?" And there was something in his eyes - just a fleeting glint - but she was a Ravenclaw. She caught it.

"Fletcher and..." She cleared her throat, forced herself to swallow. "Zabini."

Draco fell silent, his eyes flicking between hers, trying to determine whether she was serious.

"I'll fucking murder them," he hissed finally, as if one of them wasn't his best friend. "I'll tear them apart - "

"No point." Elara shook her head, still dazed. "The damage is done."

Draco's jaw clenched.

"How much did you hear?" she asked, her voice cracking. His shoulders seemed to droop as it did and he reached for her again, wrapping her up in his strong arms again, pressing a chaste kiss to her head. She shuddered, inhaling, deeply and let her hands dig into his back, twisting into the material of his dark green sweater, searching for comfort.

"Nothing, really," he muttered, sounding like he hated himself. "Just Potter saying I was Lucius' son."

Elara couldn't suppress the relief that surged in her. He hadn't heard about the DA.

"I have to go back," she mumbled, pulling away, feeling guilty for even touching him. "They'll come after me."

"Let them," Draco breathed, trying to tug her back but she resisted, disentangling herself from him and moving for the door, not even glancing at his face. But she heard it in his voice when he spoke. "I didn't - want this to happen."

Elara managed a smile, her hand closing around the knob. "Didn't you?"

Draco stiffened.

Because she had seen it - she had seen the flicker of triumph in his eyes when she'd told him what had happened.

No one else would've caught it but she knew him now - too well, it seemed.

"You're glad they hate me now," Elara went on, still feeling numb all over. "Makes you feel a little less alone, does it?"

Then she was gone.

|

Her friends were waiting for her in the Room of Requirement.

George gave her a sympathetic look from behind Fred and Neville when she walked in but Elara couldn't manage to look at him for more than a second.

Shame curled up in her chest like a creature waiting to die, making her feel almost sick.

"Elara," Harry's voice was strained, as if he was trying to control himself. "Why?"

What a simple question. One word - but it would take the most powerful witches and wizards in the entire universe to make sense of the answer - and even then, they wouldn't be able to make head or tail of it.

Love was one of those things that you think you know everything about - until you experience it and up is suddenly down and right, left.

"I'm sorry," Elara answered instead, her voice surprisingly stronger than she'd expected it to be. "I never told him anything - and he knows nothing about the DA."

"Don't take this the wrong way," Parvati said, quietly. "But why him? You could've had anybody - "

She couldn't tell them she loved him. They already considered her a traitor and a risk factor - and in their eyes, she was only sleeping with him.

"Forbidden fruit," Elara replied with a wry smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Plus, it started in fifth year. I hadn't joined the DA."

She saw Stuart's face crumble, ignored the stab of guilt.

"You've been keeping this secret for two years?" Tracy managed to get out, her eyes still puffy and red. "From us? I thought we told each other everything."

Elara swallowed with difficulty. "I'm sorry."

The ensued silence threatened to crush her.

"Did it mean anything?" Harry forced out, obviously uncomfortable with all this, and Elara saw Hermione put a hand on his shoulder, her face concerned. "Did it, Elara?"

Elara nearly sank to the floor with the weight of the question.  _ Did it mean anything? _

Memories of a wicked smile and moonlit eyes flashed in her mind's eye. Warm hands, slender fingers dragging down her spine, their legs wrapped together under the sheets, soft kisses, possessive whispers in her ear as they made love. Nips at her bottom lip, strong arms enveloping her body, breathless laughs against her lips, silver eyes reflecting the starlight above them. Silver eyes that she'd found a home in.

It meant everything.

"Nothing," she answered, barely missing a beat. "It was purely for fun."

She'd already lied so much - what was one more to add to the growing pile?

Harry exhaled, loudly, looking away, before studying her again, almost in despair. "Elara - I believe you but we can't..."

She pressed her palms flat against the material of her pants, trying to get rid of the dampness. She knew what he was going to say.

"We can't endanger this," he finished, clenching a fist. "We can't be sure Malfoy didn't do something to you. The cost is too high. If Voldemort finds out about our plans - "

"He didn't do anything to me!" Elara protested, pleadingly, looking at the rest of the group for comfort. "Believe me -"

"You wouldn't know if he did," said Ron, softly, almost apologetically.

Her eyes stung.

Harry's wand was in his hand now and he looked torn as he raised it to point at her. "You won't remember anything - you'll be fine. And you can have Malfoy."

Elara gaped, reaching for her own wand but Ron disarmed her before she could get to it. "You can't!" Her voice broke, fear rising within her, and she took a few steps back. "I swear, it didn't mean anything -"

Harry's hand shook, slightly, as he said, "I'm so sorry, Elara."

He inhaled a deep breath and Elara caught sight of her friends' despaired faces.

" _ Oblivi -" _

"No!" Hermione suddenly threw herself between them, turning to face Harry, her shoulders heaving. "You can't. You can't. We need her."

And in a split second, Elara knew why they did. Hermione and her had been working on the spell to kill the Death Eaters for weeks now.

And while Hermione was stellar at pocketing information, Elara was the one who could twist and manipulate it to suit them.

But no one else knew about the spell - they weren't supposed to.

"Please," Hermione gasped, putting her hands up to stop Harry. "We can still get something good out of this - for the DA."

Harry's eyebrows furrowed but he didn't lower his wand. "Hermione -"

"At least listen to what she has to say," Fred piped up and Luna nodded, vigorously, followed by murmurs of agreement from Neville, George and Cho.

Harry seemed to battle with himself and then heaved a heavy sigh, dropping his wand. "Alright. What?"

"She's close to him," Hermione rushed to say, dropping her arms back to her side. She turned and walked over to Elara, sliding her arm through hers. "He's obviously taken some interest in her if he's been with her for this long - two years, you said?"

Elara nodded but her stomach was rapidly sinking. She didn't like where this was going.

"And Harry, you've been trying to dig up something on Malfoy for the past year now," Hermione went on, her fingers trembling against the material of Elara's sweater. "She can get it to us. It'll be a win-win for us - Elara stays in the DA and you get the information you want on Malfoy."

Elara's stomach twisted so violently, she was sure she was going to hurl.  _ No - _

"But - but you can't obliviate her for this to work," Hermione finished, her voice soft in the large room.

There was a stunned silence then Stuart spoke, quietly. "I think it's a good idea."

"Me too," Cho put in, nodding. Elara's heart lodged in her throat.

_ No, no, no, no, n _ o.

She'd essentially be doing exactly what she already was for Snape - but for the DA. And she knew that Harry's newly found obsession with Draco would force her to comply and give him information - unlike Snape who seemed to have taken the back seat in the past few months.

She'd be using Draco -  _ again. _

"If we do this," Harry began, slowly, "we're trusting you with everything, Elara."

Elara's hands began to shake - but she couldn't say no. If she did, they'd consider her a traitor - she'd lose them all  _ and  _ have her memory wiped.

"And if we think that you're being..." Harry hesitated and Ginny slid her hand through his, " _ manipulated  _ by Malfoy, I'm stepping in. I won't let him hurt you."

Elara wanted to scream that Draco was the last person who would hurt her. She'd be hurting  _ him  _ \- the broken boy who couldn't seem to outrun his last name.

"Does he trust you?" Harry inquired, finally pocketing his wand. The stone in Elara's chest grew heavier.

She looked down at the ring on her finger, the snake with glittering emerald eyes. "Not much."

_ A lie. _

"She can do it," Luna interjected, hurriedly. "I know she can."

"She's a Ravenclaw," Ginny said, giving Elara a reassuring smile. "Of course, she will."

_ No!  _ Elara wanted to wail.  _ I can't! _

Draco would hate her. He would shatter. She was all he had and to find out she was  _ Harry's  _ spy... He'd go ballistic.

She'd lose him. Forever.

"Alright," Harry said, cautiously. "Then it's settled."

The entirety of the statement crashed down on Elara, her fate sealed.

Her knees gave out and Hermione caught her.

"It's okay," her friend murmured, steadying her. "It's over. Everything's fine."

How could they not see that it wasn't? Everything was  _ not  _ fine. Elara was rapidly spiralling, barely able to stay lucid enough to listen to Harry.

"I'm pretty sure Draco's the one who hexed Katie Bell," Harry was saying, still clutching onto Ginny's hand tightly, similar to the way Draco held Elara. "It's why I went after him that night after the Hogsmeade trip - when I accidentally used that curse on him."

Elara bit back a sob. Draco, bleeding out on the floor, heaving for breath, deathly pale...

He'd wish she'd let him die when he found out what she'd done.

She suddenly wished they'd Obliviated her.

  
  



	41. forty one

ELARA'S HEART WAS BREAKING.

She slid down the wall in the shower, her shoulders wracking with sobs, at what she'd have to do.

To Draco.

How had she ended up in this mess? She'd only wanted him - it was supposed to be simple.

But now she'd have to use him to help her friends - to potentially defeat Voldemort.

How was she supposed to pick a side?

Her lungs burned for air and Elara buried her head in her arms, trying desperately to calm herself enough to take a full breath.

_ In every sense of the word, I want you. _

_ All I fucking have. _

_ All mine. _

_ You're the first girl to even stay the night. And I want to keep it that way. _

She was going to rip him apart - she would be responsible for breaking Draco Malfoy.

Elara struggled for breath, lifting her head from her arms and letting it fall back against the tiles as hot water cascaded over her, turning her skin pink. She didn't care that it was scalding - she deserved to hurt for what she was about to do.

Another violent sob pushed past her lips and the ache in her chest forced her to curl over into herself again, her head against her arms.

She wouldn't do it. She couldn't. It was physically impossible for her to use him like this - the way they wanted her to.

She needed a way out.

|

Draco was waiting for her.

She'd asked to meet at the library on purpose - she didn't want to ruin the memories they'd made in his room or at the Astronomy Tower.

But it didn't make it easier as she walked up to him, her heart mangled and torn. She hated herself with such a passion it was unbearable.

It was past midnight and the moonlight filtering in through the window nearby made Draco look almost angelic, despite his harsh features.

"Bit late, don't you think?" Draco asked, quietly, as she came to a stop in front of him.

Elara's stomach jolted at his voice. He sounded tired and she wanted nothing more than to collapse into his arms and let him hold her.

He seemed to see it in her eyes for the split second that it showed and reached for her immediately, his hand outstretched for her waist.

If she let him, she could cry. She could break down and let him soothe her with kisses and rubs up and down her back until the pain eased and she could breathe.

But she'd only be hurting him more.

Elara stepped back before he could reach her.

She saw the confusion flicker in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he demanded, straightening, slightly. He looked down at her, silver eyes searching her face.

Elara's throat constricted.  _ Say it,  _ she begged herself.  _ Please. For him. _

"Elara."

_ Oh, Merlin, not her name.  _ She nearly sank to the floor just from the sound of it falling from his lips - pleading.

"Hey." Draco's hand caught her chin and his thumb had just grazed over her cheekbone before she wrenched away, stumbling back until her back hit the bookshelf opposite him. "Are you -"

"We can't do this anymore."

The words felt like stones on her chest.

Draco stared at her for a moment, his lips parted. "What?"

"We can't - I can't do this." Now that she'd started, the words spilled out of her like a waterfall. "With you."

Draco almost flinched and he took a step back, his hand spasming. "Why?"

Elara could see the emotion in his face - like all his fears were coming true.

_ You're too good for me. One day, you'll realise. _

She choked back a sob, slid a mask of indifference on. For him. She'd do this for him, no matter how much it shattered her.

"I just don't know if I want this," she said, glancing at the floor. "If I want -  _ you." _

She felt Draco take another step back, saw his hand clench into a fist, his thumb briefly grazing over the dragon ring she'd given him a little over a month ago.

_ I'm so sorry,  _ she told him, silently.  _ I'm so, so sorry. _

"Is this because of what happened yesterday?" His tone was curt - he was trying his very best not to show any emotion - but she could feel the undertones of hurt in his voice. "Are your  _ friends  _ making you do this?"

The knot in Elara's throat swelled. She couldn't go through with this. She wanted to melt into him, to grab him and kiss him and tell him he was all she could ever want. To wipe that look in his eyes that he was struggling to hide - the look of someone who was being left behind.

But life wasn't that easy.

"No," she said, quietly, trying to ignore the way his hair looked so invitingly soft in the moonlight. "I just realised I can't be with you."

"That makes no fucking sense," Draco hissed. "You were just in my bed yesterday morning -"

"I  _ know  _ where I was," Elara cut him off, acting faintly irritated. "But we're too different and my friends only made me realise that."

Another lie. All her friends had made her realise was how much she really loved Draco Malfoy.

Her eyes pricked; she forced the tears away before they could even form.

He would be better off this way. No one to use him like a pawn on a chessboard.

"You're lying." His voice was rough, raw. "Elara, don't fucking lie to me."

She huffed out a breath, as if she was annoyed. "I'm trying to be honest with you and I'm sorry if it hurts your fucking feelings but -"

Draco took three steps forward, pinned her against the bookshelf behind her. Elara's heart jumped into her throat as she pressed herself against it, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"My fucking feelings?" Draco snarled, his eyes dark. The desperation in them was not lost on Elara, despite the rage that simmered on the surface. "You think that's what I'm worried about?"

Elara faltered, her breathing picking up.  _ I know it is,  _ she wanted to say.  _ I know how much you fear you're not good enough for me. _

And here she was, proving it to him - in his eyes.

"I know you're lying." His voice dropped to a whisper, his hand coming up to grab her jaw, rings cutting into the skin of her cheeks. "I know how much you want me. You can't convince me otherwise."

Elara brought her hand up to wrap around his wrist, trying to tug him away. "Draco - don't  _ touch  _ me - "

"I know how much you love me."

He was so quiet, he could've not spoken at all. But his words were a force that collided with Elara's chest and made her legs give out.

Draco caught her with ease, one arm slipping around her back and he crushed her to him, his mouth coming down hard on hers.

Elara gasped at the sudden contact but her body responded, immediately, her mouth moving against his, hands fisting his shirt at the sides.

"I know you." Draco's teeth sank into her lower lip as they had so many times before and it  _ still  _ made Elara tingle. "I know you better than even myself and I  _ know  _ how much you love me."

_ Love. _

It was what she was doing all this for.

She shoved him back with all her strength, his back colliding with the bookshelf behind him, his lips red.

_ Speak. _

She only had now to convince him - when he was most vulnerable.

His eyes, haunted and pleading, fixed on hers. She made sure he couldn't read her this time.

"Elara, I -" He was reaching for her again.

"I don't love you."

It might have been the hardest four words she'd ever had to say. Her mind screamed at her lies, her body following suit by wanting to sink to the floor and curl up in a ball.

Draco looked like he'd been slapped. His hands fell limp to his sides, no longer wanting her near.

"This is just not what I want anymore," she said, quietly. Her vision blurred and she blinked the tears away before he could see them. "I'm sorry, Draco."

His silver eyes snapped up, flicked between hers and she forced herself to be stoic.

Then, she saw his expression shutter off, saw the subtle straightening of his shoulders and the muscles relaxing.

The mask was back on.

"Fine," he said and the sheer ice in his voice made Elara almost break down.

He turned to leave and Elara couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand the sight of his tall, broad frame turned to her, about to leave her here.

"Draco -" she managed to get out and flinched when her voice broke. "I'm sorry -"

"No."

One word and Elara's mouth shut, her fingers trembling so violently, she clutched onto the shelf next to her.

"I'm sorry," Draco said, his back still to her, but he turned his head to the side to look over his shoulder. "I'm sorry for being the  _ fucking  _ son of Lucius Malfoy."

He strode away and Elara let out a choked gasp, taking an unsteady step in his direction before finally sinking to the floor, her cheeks already damp.

He thought she was leaving him because of his father's reputation - because of his last name.

The very things Elara had always tried to tell him she didn't care about.

A tear traced down her cheek, curved into her lip, salty. She heaved for breath, her head spinning, realising that Draco was really gone.

_ Love. _

She loved him - she wouldn't allow herself to use him. This was the easiest way out for him.

She was a Ravenclaw - mind over matter, always. She couldn't let herself weaken, couldn't let herself falter and give into her own selfish desires for Draco.

She had to protect him, had to prevent him from having his heart broken - by her.

But right now, it seemed to be her heart that was doing the shattering.

|

Elara didn't think it would ever get any easier.

She woke up every morning with an ache in her chest, so painful she had to sometimes take a moment to curl up and squeeze her pillow to prevent from focusing on it.

The showers were a good place for crying - she spent about an hour everyday just sitting on the tiled floor until her eyes were dry.

She'd press her hand over her mouth at night to stifle her sobs and would try, in vain, to soothe the longing for Draco. She missed having his arms wrapped around her, his lips against her hair as they slept, soundly.

She missed his smile and his eyes and the conversations they had had. An ache like this wouldn't go away - not anytime soon at least.

And the worst part was she couldn't even act like she was broken. She had to keep up appearances, laugh with her friends, answer questions in class, chat with the professors, attend Quidditch matches. She had to listen to her friends gossip about guys in their year - and Draco was a  _ frequent  _ subject for the other girls, seeing as he was one of the most attractive people in school.

In Elara's eyes, the most.

"... bad boy vibe about him but he's so  _ dreamy!"  _ Bethany Moore was gushing as they sat in the library, working on their Charms homework.

"And have you  _ seen  _ his body?" Lois Barnes agreed, eagerly. "Blimey, he took his sweater off the other day and his shirt rode up -"

Indigo cut in, bored. "Maybe if you spent a little more time studying and a little less time ogling at Malfoy, you guys would actually get some work done."

Elara gave Indigo a wry smile as the other two girls quietened down, casting dirty looks their way.

Indigo had apologised for her harsh words that day - and had also ended up breaking down as Tracy, Stuart and her all asked Elara why she hadn't told them about Fletcher.

And although Elara should have been happy that her and her friends were fine again, Draco's absence felt like lead in her heart.

She barely saw him - he barely showed up to classes anymore and she didn't know how he was getting out of them. She missed even looking at him. She should've sketched him.

But some of her pain was relieved when she told the DA about Draco calling things off with her.

"What - he just broke things off?" Ron said, incredulously, as they walked to the Quidditch pitch.

Elara nodded, demurely. "He hated that people had found out."

Harry seemed to process this information, slowly, and Elara hoped he wouldn't Obliviate her on the spot.

But she'd played her cards right - as she knew she had - and knew that Harry was no longer interested in obliviating her, now that his anger had faded.

"There's nothing to be done then," Harry commented with a heavy sigh. "I'll keep my eye on Malfoy anyway."

Elara nodded, acting unbothered but a part of her eased. Draco was safe.

He wasn't with her but he was safe.

|

"I've looked for her everywhere."

Hermione pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes as Elara collapsed into the seat next to her in a corner of the library. "No luck then?"

"None," Elara responded, disheartened. "I don't know where she could've gone. She used to hang around the common room."

"She's a ghost," Hermione sighed, turning a page of her book. "They can be temperamental. Plus, in times like these, with You-Know-Who so strong..."

Elara sighed as Hermione went on. "All the magical creatures have been acting weird. Hagrid said the centaurs have started to rebel within their herd -"

A loud giggle cut through their conversation in the quiet library and Elara and Hermione looked over to see Christina Yu - a Gryffindor - stumble against one of the tables a little way away.

She was looking at someone who hadn't come into view yet, still hidden behind the bookshelf, but the glint in her eye and the sultry smile on her pretty face were obviously directed at a boy - seeing that Elara knew she was straight.

And considering that it was almost past curfew and the library was usually empty at this time, Elara did  _ not  _ want to see where this went.

"We should -" Hermione seemed to read her mind, shutting her book. Christina was too far away to hear them and too wrapped up to notice. "I'll go put the books back."

Elara knew Hermione would take her time - she was insistent on putting each book back exactly where she'd found it and there had been at  _ least  _ eight books they'd been studying.

As she disappeared, Elara began to avert her eyes from Christina, sliding her things back into her satchel.

But when Draco Malfoy stepped into the frame, backing Christina up against the table, Elara's head jerked up, her lips parting.

Because there he was. Tall, broad and firm, his hair almost white in the moonlight - like it had been that day three weeks ago when they had ended things.

But whereas then, he'd been looking at  _ her  _ with dark eyes, wanting to touch her and hold her, now...

His eyes were fixed on Christina.

It was one of the first times Elara had gotten anything other than a glimpse of him and he was looking at another girl like he wanted to fuck her there and then.

Elara's throat closed up. Unable to drag her eyes away, she watched as he brought a hand up to rest on Christina's neck, over her pulse. Elara could see the rings gleaming on his fingers but couldn't tell if he was wearing the one she'd given him.

Christina leaned up, going to kiss his neck, her hands sliding down to grip the waistband of his trousers.

Elara's brain screamed at her to look away - but then Draco's eyes shifted and met hers in such a way Elara's heart stopped.

He didn't look shocked or embarrassed to see her there. He took her in as Christina moved closer, pressing herself flush against him, her head buried in his neck as she pressed kisses onto him.

Elara knew what that felt like - knew how warm and smooth his skin was, knew how he liked it right where his jaw met his neck, recalled how he tightened his hands in her hair when she did it, how his eyes darkened at the sensation.

But now, his hands were resting on the edge of the table he had backed Christina up against and his eyes were locked on Elara's.

It was the most erotic look she'd ever seen and her breathing turned heavy as he quirked an eyebrow at her.

And then he rolled his hips against Christina's.

Elara thought she might faint. Because the look in his eye as he looked at her was ravenous.

Heat spread low into her core as Draco's teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he pushed his hips against Christina's again. The Gryffindor witch was whispering something against the skin of his neck but he didn't look very interested. Unlike with Elara, when he'd be watching every twitch on her face, listening to every word she moaned and breathed out as he made her feel good.

Elara wanted to look away - wanted to grab Hermione, wherever she was in this massive library, and sprint out of here.

But Draco held her gaze, his hands briefly gripping onto Christina's waist, before he ground his hips against hers again. Elara bit down on her lower lip, squirming.

She was  _ sick  _ for enjoying this.

And she should've felt hurt, betrayed that he was doing this with someone else but - but she had hurt him. She didn't have the right to expect him not to mess around with anybody - not when he had a line of girls waiting for him.

But when Draco's lips parted at the sight of her own between her teeth and she heard him let out a low groan, she knew it wasn't because of the girl in front of him.

He was thinking of her.

Elara's heart thundered at the thought of Draco picturing her wedged between him and that table, his hips grinding into  _ hers,  _ one hand tangled into her wild locks. He would have kissed her then, would have made her mewl into his mouth, would have whispered something incredibly arousing against her skin as he bit down on it.

Elara's head spun and she pushed herself to her feet, yanking her bag over her shoulder and grabbing Hermione's too.

She'd find her on the way out.

Her face was hot as she strode away, heading for where she could see the faint light of the lantern at aisle at the end.

"Hey - I've just got one more book to put -"

"Hurry," Elara told Hermione, her stomach still fluttering with butterflies. "It's time we get out of here."

  
  



	42. forty two

BLAISE CAME TO TALK TO HER A MONTH LATER.

It was the beginning of June now and the school year was beginning to draw to a close. Just a month left and Hogwarts would be empty again - Elara hated to think of how much she'd miss it.

She was on her way out of DADA, flanked by her friends, when Blaise Zabini pushed off the wall opposite the classroom door and stood there, staring at her, his arms crossed over his chest.

Elara met his eye and frowned. He didn't look like he was there to drop a snarky comment - his expression was almost one of resigned determination.

As if he was about to do something he really didn't want to do.

"A word," the tall Slytherin boy said, stiffly, and Elara felt Stuart's arm tighten through hers, protectively.

But Elara knew that if Blaise wanted to talk to her, it most likely had something to do with Draco - and she desperately wanted to know about him.

He was still skipping classes, still not showing up to meals and the most Elara ever glimpsed of him was when she would make up some excuse to pass by the Slytherin common room and would sometimes catch sight of his hair as he entered or left the common room.

Then she'd hurry away, knowing she couldn't linger but satisfied that he was alright.

"It's okay," Elara told her friends. "You guys go on. Save me a seat in the bleachers."

"Are you sure?" Indigo asked, eyeing Blaise with disdain and Tracy tugged on her hand, giving her a sharp look. "Oh, alright. Don't be too late."

They watched as her friends trooped away, reluctantly, casting glances over their shoulder and Blaise only spoke once they were out of sight.

"What the fuck did you do?"

Elara blinked, turning to face him and raising an eyebrow. "You're going to have to be a  _ bit  _ more specific than that, Zabini. I've done a lot of things - and people - in my lifetime."

Blaise's lip almost curled but he kept himself in check, instead fixing his tie. "You're messing with my best friend's head."

Elara's heart skipped a few beats. "Oh? I didn't know I had that effect on Pansy."

"You do," called the Slytherin witch as she came to a stop next to them, having just exited the classroom behind them. "But this is about our  _ other  _ best friend."

"Theodore?" Elara pretended to play dumb. "Oh, I did think he was quite cute -"

_ "Draco."  _ Blaise's voice was a hiss and Pansy put her hand on his arm.

"Now, Blaise, let's be pleasant," Pansy chided, amiably. "Elara happens to be a good friend of mine and I'd like my friends to get on with each other."

"Tell her to fix my best friend first and then maybe I'll consider it," Blaise retorted and Elara could see how much he cared for Draco.

"Yes, well, she's hardly going to do that when you're acting like such a prick," Pansy told him, patting his arm with a smile. "So why don't you just stand there and glower - just like that, you big, brooding baboon - and let me do the talking?"

Elara couldn't help it as the corner of her lips turned up.

Blaise only rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the wall.

"Did something happen to him?" Elara's voice was soft as she looked at Pansy who shook her head.

"Nothing like that," she replied, blowing a strand of her straight dark hair out of her face. "He's just been acting weird -"

"Weird is an understatement," Blaise grumbled. "He's been acting like a damn -"

"I thought I told you to brood," Pansy interrupted, sending him a sharp look and Blaise closed his mouth. "Yes, well - Blaise is right. Weird  _ is  _ an understatement. He's been out of it recently."

Elara wished she could tell her how she had been too.

"He doesn't talk, barely eats..." Pansy chewed on her lower lip and Elara saw the flash of concern in her eyes. She remembered with a start that Pansy was in love with Draco. "He stays locked up in his room or somewhere in the castle - I don't know where - and he's skipping most of his classes."

Elara nodded, slowly. "I noticed. How is he even managing that?"

"You know Draco," Pansy shrugged even as Blaise mumbled that she didn't. "He always gets his way."

"The point is," Blaise said, obviously impatient, as he pushed off the wall, "that we know it's because of  _ you.  _ Ever since I... told your friends what was going on, he retreated into his shell and -"

"We can't seem to get him out," Pansy finished, resigning to the fact that Blaise was going to speak. "And it's... it's bad, Elara. He barely speaks - only one word answers - and it's not even like he's... angry or sad or mad. He just looks..."

She searched for the word but Elara completed it for her. "Numb."

Pansy nodded.

"I don't know how I can help," Elara said even as her feet wanted to start moving in the direction of the Astronomy Tower or Slytherin common room to find Draco. "I don't think he really wants to see me."

The two Slytherins exchanged a glance.

"What?" Elara prodded, looking between them, adjusting her bag over her shoulder.

"Draco got - really drunk one night," Pansy began, cautiously. "On Firewhiskey. He keeps it in his room -"

"I know."

Pansy blinked then flashed a wicked smile. "Of course you do. Well, he was shit-faced and we could hear him throwing things around and trashing the entire place."

Elara's heart ached at the thought.

"I was terrified," Pansy went on. "His door was locked and we were so scared he'd hurt himself but..." She swallowed as if the memory hurt her.

Blaise placed a hand on her back. "Theo broke down the door," he said, gruffly. "And Draco was just there with bleeding knuckles and a cut across his cheek from where the glass must have struck him when he shattered the bottle of Firewhiskey."

Elara's throat felt tight.

"He wanted you," Pansy continued, quietly. "He kept saying he needed you - and he kept staring at this ring on his finger - do you know which one?"

Elara nodded, unable to find the words to speak.

"Yeah, well, after that, he's just..." Pansy sighed, heavily, pressing her palm to her forehead. "He retreated into himself further. I don't think he liked showing us how much you meant to him."

Elara's knees weakened.

He was hers. He could only ever be hers - just like she could only ever be his.

They  _ were  _ made for each other.

"Where is he now?" Elara asked and her voice was hoarse. The image of Draco bleeding and desperate for her burned into the front of her mind. She should've been there to hold him.

"His room, probably," Blaise answered, seeming to perk up a little after she inquired. "You'll fix him?"

Elara laughed, softly. "I can barely fix myself. I'm just going to - see if he's alright. I'm not making any promises," she warned, glancing between the two of them.

Pansy reached out and squeezed her hand. "Thank you."

Elara admired how mature Pansy was - sending another girl off to fix the man she loved. Elara didn't think she'd ever have the strength for that.

They turned and headed for the Slytherin common room.

|

"Try not to fuck him, alright?" Pansy teased as she led her into the common room, shooting a stern look at some first years, causing them to disperse. "I know angry sex is nice but -"

"Pansy!" Elara groaned and the Slytherin witch giggled. Blaise rolled his eyes.

"You know where to go, Jacobs," he said in a low voice as they stopped at the base of the small spiral staircase, leading to the landing above.

Elara's footsteps were quiet - now that there was no chance of Blaise catching her, she shouldn't have felt as on edge as she usually did, sneaking into Draco's room.

But before, she'd always known what she'd find behind that door. Messy hair and lazy grins. Searing hot kisses, roaming hands, tired eyes. Hot showers and strong arms.

But now - even her sharp Ravenclaw brain couldn't predict what she'd face in there.

She steeled herself and raised her hand to knock on the door.

Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest, she barely heard him when he called, "Fuck off, Theo."

Elara inhaled a sharp breath. His voice, although muffled, stirred something to life in her chest.

She forced herself to speak. "It's not Theo."

And even though there had been no noise from the other side of the door prior to this, Elara still felt as if a heavy silence descended over it.

She held her breath, knowing he recognised her voice. Would he not even let her in? Would he send her away without even taking a look at her face?

Then, he spoke, his voice considerably lower. "It's open."

Elara's fingers trembled as they wrapped around the knob and nudged the door open.

His room was surprisingly neat - nothing like Pansy had described when she was explaining how he'd gotten drunk. It was exactly like she remembered it - except there were no stars on the ceiling.

Her heart sank just that little bit.

Draco was sitting on the edge of his bed, not even looking at her as she stepped in. His head was bent, his forearms resting on his knees, his fingers toying with none other than the dragon ring in his hands.

Elara's feet stopped moving on their own accord, stopped short a long way from him.

"I told them not to say anything." Draco kept his gaze fixed on the ring for a moment longer as a beat of silence passed between them and then looked up at her.

Elara tried not to sway on her feet. His hair was damp and darker than usual, strands falling over his forehead, and she realised he'd just gotten out of the shower.

"They were worried," Elara answered, glad that her voice didn't waver, not surprised that he had figured out who had brought her here but saddened that he knew she wouldn't come on her own. She cleared her throat, took a tentative step forward. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." The answer was too quick, too sharp, and she watched as he tossed the ring onto the bedside table, linking his fingers between his spread knees instead. "You can leave now."

Something tugged at her heart as he looked down at the floor, not before she caught the dark rings below his eyes, the faint cut on his cheekbone - still healing.

"I was worried too," she said, gently, moving another few steps. She knew she should keep her distance but when he was sitting there, looking like a broken man, she wanted nothing more than to slide onto his lap and hold him tight.

"No, you weren't," he answered, darkly, looking back up at her. "You're only here because Pansy happens to be in love with me and -"

"Blaise was there too," Elara cut him off, softly. "They both care about you so much, Draco. Don't do this to them -"

"Don't call me that." Draco's jaw clenched and Elara faltered, her throat going dry. "Just leave, Jacobs."

Elara swallowed with difficulty. He had barely used her last name when they were alone. "Let me help."

Draco laughed but it was without humour. "Oh? And how do you suggest we go about that?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "Do we get straight to the part where I fuck you or do you want to lie and tell me how you care about me first?"

Elara flinched at the jab, reminded herself she deserved it. She took another step closer and he watched her with wary eyes, leaning back onto his palms to put some distance between them.

His eyes showed what she had done to him. Shattered him into a million pieces, leaving him to put them back together on his own. He had relied on her, let himself believe that she cared about him - just for it to be ripped away from him as soon as he did.

Elara's chest ached, that steady pain that had been there since that night in the library. "I hate myself for doing what I did to you."

Draco went rigid, his head turned away.

"I do," Elara continued, quietly. "But if you knew why, you'd - you'd understand." She didn't take her eyes off him, drinking in the sight of him in a loose shirt and pajama pants. "I hope," she added, as an afterthought.

The silence stretched between them like a thread, waiting to be severed. Her blood was rushing in her ears, her fingers aching to reach for him and pull herself to him.

To touch him and feel him and tell him she loved him - still.

Always.

"Then tell me why."

Elara hesitated, digging her nails into her palms. "I..."

"No more lies," he said, bitterly. "I can't take any more  _ fucking  _ lies from you."

Elara's resolve weakened. That was all she was - a liar. She resented herself for it.

"They wanted me to spy on you." It was out before she could stop it. "Harry - well, you said yourself that he's been following you and he thought - I'd be able to get more... information."

Every muscle seemed to go tense in Draco's body, his jaw setting. She could see the conflict raging on behind his eyes, a silent battle, trying to decide whether to believe her or not.

"And you decided the best way to do that was to walk away?" he finally scoffed, shaking his head. "Tell Potter he's a -"

"I decided I couldn't do it - even though he didn't give me much choice," she interjected, fixing her gaze on her shoes. "I - I couldn't do it." She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "Not to you."

Draco's hand spasmed next to him on the bed. "So you made me walk away."

She nodded, knowing that she should regret telling him all this and hating herself for the fact that the only thing she felt was relief. Relief that he now knew the truth.

"You told me you didn't want me." Draco seemed to be struggling to get the words out, his long fingers tightening over the sheets for a split second before he released them.

She tried to force away memories of them wrapped up together in the emerald silk, him smiling against her lips as she kissed him, lovingly.

She had wrenched that all away from him - she didn't deserve him.

But as he raised those silver eyes to hers, his hair damp and flopping over his forehead, looking tired and worn out and beautiful all the same, she felt her resolve slip away from her.

She was allowed to be selfish for a few minutes, right?

"I lied," she whispered, her hands trembling. "If you knew how much I want you -"

"No." His tone was cold even though his voice wavered. "No. Don't fucking act like -"

"Not an act," she breathed, finally taking the last step so that the fronts of her legs brushed his knees. "You're not the only one hurting, Draco."

And then her hands were on his strong shoulders as she threw one leg around him, settling onto his lap, straddling him. His lips parted as he looked up at her, not moving his hands from the bed, still leaning back onto his palms.

"I ache for you everyday," Elara murmured, letting one hand slide along his shoulder to rest on the side of his neck, her thumb grazing across his cheek, over the small cut. "Every single day."

His eyes, unreadable, stayed focused on her, searching her face, still trying to figure out if she was playing with him.

Her head dipped, her lips brushing his jaw and she felt him inhale a sharp breath at the contact. She wanted to remind him what it felt like to  _ want  _ her, to devour her the way he hadn't been able to do with Christina that night in the library.

"Please tell me you still want me," she mumbled against his skin, warm under her lips, as she trailed kisses down his throat, kissing over his Adam's apple and it bobbed. " _ Please." _

Draco made to shake his head but she ignored it, kissing back up the side of his neck, tracing her tongue over his jugular before letting her mouth meet the spot below his jaw.

He made a breathless sound in the back of his throat, something akin to a sigh, and Elara slipped her fingers into his wet hair, her nerve endings sizzling at the feeling of him under her.

She had missed him so much - she was tired of crying day and night, whenever she thought about him.

She needed his arms around her, his lips on hers, his hands caressing her. She wanted to feel needed, ravished, loved.

"Draco," she whispered, trying to get him to touch her. "I'm still yours."

He was quick in his movements, grabbing her hips and for a second, Elara's heart jumped but then he was sliding her off him and getting to his feet, taking a few strides away.

Elara sat, heavily, on the bed where he'd pushed her, her lips parted, as she watched him pace, ripping his hands through his hair, so torn she could read it all over his face.

"Draco -" she began, feeling slightly sick now that he had put so much distance between them.

"No," he rasped, raking his slender fingers through his hair and tugging. "No. You don't get to - fucking - you can't just walk in here and tell me you care!"

His voice shook on the last word - just enough for Elara to detect.

And he was right. She shouldn't have. But she'd always been a little selfish and she'd given into her desire to be with him for a few moments.

She swallowed hard, got to her feet. "I'm sorry. You're right."

Draco didn't look at her, instead leaning heavily on one of the bedposts, running his fingers through his hair.

Elara's heart cracked a little more at the thought of having to leave his room, having to leave him behind, still looking broken and exhausted.

What had she done to him? Had she really been saving him?

She was a mess - and she was only ruining him more.

Steadying herself, she moved towards the door, fighting back tears. "I'm so sorry, Draco."

Her hand closed around the doorknob and she pulled it open but a ringed hand came down flat on it, pushing it shut again.

Elara's lungs stilled as Draco stood right behind her, his hand still on the door. He smelled like mint-scented soap and green apples - still so familiar despite the time that had passed.

She forced herself not to sink back into him.

"Why?" he asked and his voice was low and gravelly, right next to her ear. "Why couldn't you do it?"

Elara's fingers were still wrapped around the doorknob. "Did you expect me to use you?"

And somewhere deep in her, she cringed. Because there was still the matter of Snape. But she shoved it away, not able to face the guilt of  _ that,  _ not while she was dealing with  _ this. _

"Anybody else would have," Draco said, quietly. "Especially if they're friends with Potter."

Elara struggled for breath, not wanting to turn around to face him because they'd be too close. "You know why."

"No," Draco whispered, his breath brushing her ear and making her shiver. "I don't. Because as I recall, you told me you didn't love me."

Then his hand left the door to seize her shoulder, twisting her around so she was facing him, her back pressed against the door.

She stared at his chest, unable to bring herself to meet his eyes. "You told me not to say it."

Draco let out a soft hiss, still not touching her in any way. "You were fucking  _ leaving  _ me. You think I didn't want to fucking hear it?"

"Would it have helped?" she croaked out, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "I couldn't say it if I was trying to convince you I didn't care."

Draco pushed off the door behind her, retreated a few steps. "You and your fucking games, Elara." He turned away from her and went to stand by the huge window, pressing one hand to the glass and dropping his head. "You were supposed to be the one thing in my life that was simple."

Elara's eyes burned. She had messed it all up between them. There was no fixing this.

But he was right there - so close yet so far, splintered into pieces because of her. She owed it to him to at least try. Damn anybody else and what they thought.

"There's nothing simple about love," she said, quietly, so softly she didn't even know if he could hear.

Draco tensed and she knew he was probably holding his breath.

Elara found the words surprisingly easy to say - as if they had been there all along, right from the beginning and were glad to finally be out in the open.

It felt like falling into the sheets with him after a long day, letting herself be wrapped up in strong arms. It felt like soft butterfly kisses against her skin, his voice low in her ear, the liquid silver glimmer in his eyes as he looked at her like she was the only thing keeping him going. It was warm hands sliding along her body, lips kissing every curve of her, murmuring something about how she was a dream come true. It was the feeling that bubbled up within her whenever he looked her way and smiled, features boyish and free of strain. It was gentle fingers combing through her hair as he hummed against her skin, hard kisses as he pushed into her, soft gasps against her as he moved.

But it was also the tears on her neck as he cried, the rage flickering in his eyes, the agony on his face when he thought of his father. It was the possessiveness written all over his features, the tightening of his jaw when he saw her with Harry, the spasm of his hand when he was trying to keep himself in control. It was the harsh words that left his mouth sometimes and the way his eyes darkened with fury.

The good and the bad. That was what made a home.

And saying those three words felt exactly like coming home.

"I love you."

  
  



	43. forty three

DRACO WAS SHAKING.

Elara could see the tremble in his fingertips by his side, his other hand forming a fist and pressing more firmly against the glass window, as if he was putting all his weight on it.

The muscles in his back and shoulders were tight, his jaw taut. As if he couldn't believe what she'd just said.

"Draco -" She took a step forward, desperation laced in her voice.

He blew out a breath, his back still to her. "Don't. Don't  _ fucking  _ say it."

Elara's chest heaved, her hands curling.

"Because you don't fucking mean it."

She halted from where she'd been taking another step towards him.

She couldn't even blame him. She'd told him she wanted him, told him she didn't care about his father or his last name and then had told him the exact opposite that night in the library.

He wasn't going to believe anything she said. How could he?

Elara hated how rational she was - it was one of the reasons why she'd been placed in Ravenclaw but it made her analyse everything from every single point of view.

And although her need for Draco clawed at her like a hungry animal, her rational mind told her it was wrong. That she had hurt him and she was only going to hurt him more if she kept going.

But seeing him like this was breaking down all her notions about herself, rendering her helpless and a slave to the feelings she had for him.

"I'm not lying." Her voice was barely above a whisper, her throat dry.

"Don't," he ground out and his voice almost broke. "Don't play these fucking games with me - just because you want me to fuck you."

Elara winced, lifting a hand to the left side of her chest as it ached. "Draco, I would  _ never - " _

"You would," he muttered, finally turning to face her, slipping his hands into his pockets. "You did before."

She felt tears blur her vision, watched as his eyes traced the path of one down her cheek. "I never used you for sex, Draco. I - "

"Stop fucking crying," he bit out, his tone harsh, his eyes dim. "Stop. You don't get to fucking  _ cry,  _ Elara. Not when  _ I'm  _ the one being lied to and - "

"I love you," she said again, praying to anything and everything that he believed her. "I swear I do."

He stared at her as she said it, his expression emotionless.

She glanced down at the snake ring coiling around her finger, ran her fingers over it. "But I don't deserve you." She swallowed hard, adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder. "You deserve someone who isn't going to hurt you, who you don't have to - hide from everyone else. You're a good man, Draco, and I spent so long trying to convince you of it but - "

Another tear slid down her cheek and she didn't bother to brush it away. "But in the end, I turned out to be exactly like the rest." She sniffed, still staring at the ring. "I don't deserve you and I'm sorry for lying that night but - " Elara glanced up as a tear dropped. "But I need you to know I never used you for - for sex."

She thought back to the hot baths they'd take, her back resting against his chest, giggling as he pressed ticklish kisses to her neck, his lips a smile against her skin until she pushed him away and turned to kiss him. He would sigh into her mouth and help her adjust herself in the cramped space until she was facing him and then she'd slide down and rest her head against his chest, her legs on either side of him as his fingers stroked through her wet hair, gently undoing the knots.

"You were home," she said, quietly, meeting his eyes, steadily. "And I'm sorry I couldn't be yours."

With that, she hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder and turned to leave, realising this would probably be the last time she ever spoke to him. Pansy would be disappointed and she was pretty sure Blaise would use an Unforgivable on her but - Draco was too important to her. She wouldn't hurt him any more than she already had, even if the pain made her want to collapse.

"Say it again."

Elara froze, her hand outstretched for the door knob. His voice was quiet, demanding and firm.

She heard him take two steps closer, still far away from her, and he spoke again. "Say it - again."

Her cheeks were damp now from her tears and she turned, slowly, raising her eyes to his. He was trying to keep control but she could see the desperation behind his eyes, noted the spasm of his fingers in his pocket.

His hair was still damp and she realised with a jolt that it had grown slightly longer since she'd last saw him, darker blond due to the water and wavy. He even looked taller and sturdier, his features cut and sharp.

She really should've sketched him.

"You were my home," she said, giving him what he wanted, although her voice cracked.

A shudder ran through him and he looked away, a muscle in his jaw twitching. She waited with bated breath and just when she decided it was time to leave, he spoke once more.

"Still?" he asked, roughly, and he crossed the distance between them in three slow strides, his hands not leaving his pockets, eyes locked on hers.

Elara looked up at him as he came to a stop in front of her, his gaze dark and scrutinising. Her stomach flipped as he watched her, patiently, his jaw taut, grey eyes flicking between her dark ones.

"Always," she responded, quietly, and then his hands were around her face, warm and rough, and his mouth slanted down against hers.

She gasped, her heart thundering painfully against her ribs, and Draco took the opportunity to tug her closer, his tongue sliding along her lower lip. Elara's hands stayed where they were, one by her side, the other gripping onto the strap of her satchel and Draco pulled back an inch, their breaths mixing.

He yanked at her bag, making it slip off her shoulder and land on the floor with a thud and grasped her now free hand in his, moving it to rest on his chest. "Touch me," he breathed and then he was kissing her again, hard and demanding.

Butterflies multiplied in Elara's stomach and she did as he said, pushing herself onto her tiptoes and sliding her arms around his neck, locking her wrists and he seemed to sink into her with a breathless sigh, as if he'd been dying to be touched like this. He pressed her up against the door, one hand staying on her face as the other slid to grasp her thigh and hitch her leg over his hip, trying to get as close to her as possible, and Elara could feel the desperation in his kiss, the need for her.

For the first time in two months, her heart seemed to stop aching, replaced by a warm, bubbly feeling and fire in her core.

Draco's mouth latched onto her jaw, trailing down to her neck, his hands gripping her robes and sliding them off her with ease, leaving her in just her shirt, tie and skirt. Elara's head was nudged to the side as he continued to press harsh kisses against her skin, making her gasp when he bit down.

"How dare you - " he growled, ripping the hairtie out of the end of her braid and running his fingers through her hair to open it up, "- fucking -" His mouth collided with hers again and he sunk his teeth into her bottom lip, briefly, " - lie to me."

Elara whimpered, yanking him down and closer but he resisted it, his long fingers undoing the buttons on her shirt, quickly, obviously not in the mood to take his time. "I missed you - so much," she gasped out, tangling her fingers in his damp hair, just as soft as she'd remembered.

He groaned, diving down to meet her lips again, his hands sliding to the waistband of her skirt before he'd even taken her shirt off fully. "I don't want to hear you right now."

Elara's heart thudded as he yanked down her skirt and she stepped out of it, her hands reaching for him again and slamming her mouth to his. Draco kissed her, feverishly, teeth clashing, pressing himself flush against her so she was sandwiched between him and the door.

"Two months." His voice was dark as she helped him slide his shirt off him. "You left me for two fucking months."

"I'm here - I'm here now," she whimpered as he kissed along her jugular, sinking his teeth in just the slightest bit. He made a disapproving sound in the back of his throat.

"I said," he rasped against the newly bruised skin, "I don't want to  _ fucking  _ hear you."

With that, he loosened her tie and ripped it from around her neck, spinning her around to face the door. Elara felt the soft material of the tie come down around her mouth, felt him tie it behind her head.

Fire roared to life deep in her abdomen. She'd never done this before but  _ Merlin,  _ was she willing.

"Good?" Draco asked and she knew he was desperately trying to restrain himself as he moved her hair over one side of her neck, mouth dipping to leave lovebites all over her shoulder.

She nodded, unable to speak, the tie wedged between her lips and Draco gripped the soft skin on her hips, giving it a sharp squeeze. Elara tried to calm the way fire danced along her skin as he touched her.

The next thing she knew, she was naked and he was pressing himself up against her from behind, groaning as his hands coasted up her front to knead at her chest. Then, she felt him press his length against her, spreading her legs enough and taking both her wrists in one large hand, rings cool against her skin as he pulled her hands behind her back, holding them firm.

"You deserve this." His lips brushed against the shell of her ear, low and dark, and then he was pushing into her, her body pressing full against the door as he did so. She wanted to cry out but the tie wrapped around her mouth didn't allow her and she resigned to throwing her head back against his shoulder as he filled her up to the brim.

She hadn't craved sex for the past two months, hadn't even gone looking for anyone to mess around with - because she knew no one could compare to Draco. And as he pulled out and slammed into her again, using his hold on her wrists as leverage, the other hand pressing flat against the door, she knew no one would ever know her body as well as he did.

_ "Holy fuck."  _ It was a quiet moan into her ear and Elara was squirming at the arousing sound, her blood rushing. He stilled inside her, letting her feel all of him and she was sure she was going to split apart. "I missed this."

Elara wanted to tell him how much she loved him as he pulled out all the way and found a fast pace, hips battering into her mercilessly. A strangled sound left her throat, muffled by the tie, as he thrust sharply into her, his pants in her ear, her wrists still wrapped in his vise-like grip.

His other hand left the door to yank on her hair, tugging her head back and he nipped at her neck, his tongue running over her skin, deliciously. "You feel  _ so good." _

The breath was stolen from her lungs as he pulled out halfway and then rammed back into her, hissing as he did so, stretching her and giving her no time to savour it before he pulled out again.

"Look at you." He forced her head to turn towards his and his teeth tugged at her bottom lip, despite the tie. "Such a good girl for me, aren't you?"

Elara nodded, eagerly, too overwhelmed with pleasure to play hard to get and he smirked, his eyes locking with hers as he entered her again. His hand left her hair, letting her head drop back down, and instead moved to drop between her thighs, massaging her clit. Elara's eyes flew open from where they'd just fallen shut and her back arched, wriggling against him to try and get him to apply more pressure.

"You deserve this," he growled, thrusting into her again, almost painfully - once, twice, thrice. "You deserve this for everything you did to me."

Elara made to nod but was cut off as he slapped her ass hard, making her hold back a whimper, the pleasure and pain mixing to bring her closer to the edge.

"Good girl," he praised when she didn't make any sound. "Can you be quiet for me now?"

She nodded, vigorously, the muscles in her jaw aching from the tie, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. As soon as he undid the tie and tossed it away, she was turning around, wincing as he slid out of her and pulling his mouth to hers, her fingers grazing over the scars on his chest before moving over his shoulders and to the back of his neck, tugging at the soft strands of hair.

He groaned into her mouth. "Bed."

She shook her head, already reaching down with her other hand to guide him back into her. "Here," she breathed and he gave a short nod before shifting his hips forward again, burying himself inside her. " _ Shit -  _ Draco - "

He clicked his tongue at her. "Quiet," he ordered, tugging one of her legs up around his hip as he pulled out and drove into her again, making her gasp, loudly. "Or I'll gag you again -  _ and  _ tie you up."

Elara's legs almost gave out at his words. She was  _ so  _ tempted to tell him to do it but all thoughts slipped out of her head when he rammed back into her, swallowing her gasps and whimpers.

She grasped onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, and he hissed at the pain, grabbing her jaw with his free hand, squishing her cheeks together and kissing her full on the mouth.

Elara bit down on his lip so hard she drew blood and was about to apologise when she remembered he liked it as much as she did. Draco made a dark sound in the back of his throat and let go of her face, moving down her spine to grip her ass before hitching her other leg up and around him too.

She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as one arm moved to support her from underneath, the other resting against the door as he moved in and out of her, fluidly, cursing under his breath.

Elara's head was starting to spin with the effort of keeping quiet and Draco's lips joined hers, making it easier.

"Draco -" she mewled as he pushed into her again, hips snapping to meet hers. "Draco,  _ please." _

He met her eyes and something in his face softened. He leaned forward and covered her lips with his, breathing in her breaths as he pushed into her once more, slower and gentler.

Then, he was pulling back from the door, walking them over to the bed as he kissed her hard, sliding his tongue over her lip, the faint taste of blood on his lips.

Soft, silky sheets caressed her bare back and she nearly sobbed at the feeling, having missed it so much. She'd never thought she'd be back here in his room, underneath him. She was almost scared to believe that this wasn't a dream, lest it be taken away from her at the last moment.

He took in her expression, brushed a kiss against her forehead before sliding out of her. "Elara -"

"I'm fine," she whispered and then used the leverage she had with her legs wrapped around his waist to flip them over so she was on top. "I've missed you so -  _ so  _ much."

He exhaled and looked up at her, silver eyes bright with desire, his body relaxed underneath her. "You have no idea how much I need you."

The simple phrase was enough to make Elara shatter and she felt tears hit the back of her eyes, even as she positioned herself over him again, her hands pressing down onto his strong shoulders.

Draco kissed away a tear that trailed down her cheek as she slid down onto him, her lips parting. He groaned, his head falling forward to rest on her collarbone as she moved on top of him, rolling her hips in the way she knew would take him over the edge.

"Oh, fuck," he rasped, dragging his lips across her shoulder, large hands wrapping around her waist. "Salazar's fucking -"

If Elara hadn't known any better, she'd think he was drunk based off of how vocal he was being. But she knew how open he'd become with her, how words would fall from his mouth freely when he was inside her, no longer cold and drawn away as he had been when they had been only friends with benefits.

How far away that time seemed.

She was brought out of her stupor by Draco's hand sliding to the small of her back, guiding her as she moved, and Elara huffed, pushing him down flat onto the bed so she could do all the work.

"Relax," she murmured and the corner of his lips turned up in a smirk as he made a show of propping an arm up behind his head, the other still resting lightly on her thigh, watching her with hooded eyes.

Cocky bastard.

She rolled her hips and clenched around him and immediately, the smile slid off his face and his eyes shut, his throat bobbing.

She knew how much he liked it when she was on top.

His eyes opened again, watching as she moved on top of him, and something inside Elara expanded and warmed her entire body at the look in his eye - soft and enticing and filled with awe.

What an enigma Draco Malfoy was.

Her eyes stung once again and a tear traced down her cheekbone as she slid onto him again, gasping as she did so. Each time he entered her, it was like it was the first, the pressure almost unbearable.

Then Draco was sitting up again, wrapping a muscled arm around her waist, the other resting on her neck, thumb grazing over her cheek. He leaned forward, left a kiss over the tear, banishing it from her face in a gesture so gentle Elara was sure she was going to break apart into thousands of fractured pieces.

"I'm sorry -" she gasped out, the ache returning to her chest as she thought of how much she had done to him in the past few months. "Draco - Draco..."

He thrust his hips up to meet hers and she cried out, her head falling back for a moment before she felt his hand slide to the back of her neck, bringing her face back to his.

"I love you," she breathed, a sob wracking through her chest, as she pressed down onto him again, not stopping till he was inside her fully. "I love you - Forgive me - Forgive me -  _ Please -" _

Draco's hands stilled on her body and he raised his eyes to hers, his jaw clenched, still looking dazed with desire but alight with emotion at her words.

But then, he reached up and kissed her, rolling his hips against hers in fast, repetitive motions, hitting spots within her that made her head spin and stars appear in her vision.

She was so close - so, so, so close -

"Together," he said, quietly, his voice strained, obviously trying hard to control himself.

And when his hand dropped between their bodies to press his thumb against her clit, Elara shattered in his arms and he squeezed her tight against him as he released into her, a guttural groan escaping his lips as she gasped, her chest heaving, legs shaking.

When she came back to reality a few minutes later, she realised she was still crying and Draco was standing up with her still in his arms and walking towards the bathroom.

He set her down on the counter, waved his wand to get the water filling in the bath and cast a Cleaning Charm over the both of them anyway.

One thing she'd learned about Draco was that he was a clean freak. Although he'd get rough and dirty with her, he always made sure they were obsessively clean afterwards, always opting for a Cleaning Charm as well as a long bath - despite the fact that the charm already made any speck of dust on them vanish. She knew he'd just showered too.

She met his eyes, solemn now, and almost shrunk back at the severity in them.

But Draco was sharp and caught the slight flinch. His face softened and he leaned in to slant his warm mouth against hers, hands grazing up and down her sides. It was a soft kiss - so intense Elara's stomach somersaulted - and his fingers were a gentle breeze over her skin, making her shiver nonetheless.

"I do," he murmured against her mouth, breaking their kiss for a second. "I forgive you - just like how you forgave me."

She frowned at him and he sent her a reprimanding look, kissing the space between her eyebrows to smooth away the crease.

"I've said and done things that hurt you," he continued and Elara tugged him closer, wanting to kiss him, but he steadied himself on the counter, keeping just a bit of distance. "And each time, you forgave me. And never went back on your word until - until that night."

Elara's heart twisted and she felt her cheeks dampen again. Draco kissed away her tears, gentle and patient.

"You didn't have a choice," he whispered against her skin, pressing his lips to the beauty spot above her lip, tracing it with his thumb before he did so. "And, trust me, I know how that feels."

Of course he did. The sole heir to the Malfoy throne, his father a Death Eater.

It had sealed his fate.

"I love you," she said, her voice stronger now. Draco pulled back, swiped his thumb under her eye to collect a teardrop.

His eyes focused on his thumb for a long moment before he lifted his eyes to hers, suddenly unreadable. "I know."

And somehow, that was enough for Elara. She didn't need him to say it back. She just needed him to know.

Draco picked her up again and carried her over to the bath, letting her feet touch the floor.

The water was hot and heavenly as Elara sank into it with a sigh. They quickly found their usual position, her settling back against his chest, his head leaning back against the rim, his eyes following his slender fingers as they drifted up and down her body, memorising her.

Elara couldn't explain the peaceful feeling that radiated through her at the sensation of him, firm and strong, behind her, his intoxicating lips kissing her jaw and under her ear.

It had been several minutes since either of them had spoken, both of them just soaking up each other's company, before Elara broke the silence.

"My parents might withdraw me from Hogwarts."

Draco's hands stilled over her stomach and she sensed him frown behind her. "What?"

She hummed, her eyes falling shut as his breath brushed against her ear. "If I don't top the year by the end of this term, they said they'll take me out of here and put me in - Beauxbatons or Ilvermorny."

Draco seemed to mull over her words, his fingers resuming their journey up her stomach, between her breasts and curling over her collarbone. "And are you happy about that?"

She snorted, shuddering as he kissed her temple. "You're really asking that?"

She felt him smile at her sassy tone and he pinched her thigh, making her squeal. "Save the attitude or I'll fuck it out of you right now."

Elara tingled all over even as she realised how the space between her thighs ached from how rough he'd been with her before they'd moved to the bed.

"You'll top your exams," Draco told her, softly, tracing a water droplet as it slid down her back.

She shook her head. "I can't -"

"We'll study together."

Elara stiffened. "You - I've never seen you study."

"I don't," he said back, casually. "At least I never used to. But now that I've been skipping classes, I'll need your help more than you'll need mine." He pressed a quick kiss against the back of her shoulder.

She rolled her eyes despite the fact that his offer made her melt back into him."You're second in our year. I highly doubt that."

"It's fine," he answered, lightly. "I can think of  _ many  _ different ways you can pay me back."

His words were accompanied by his hand sliding down into the space between her thighs and she winced, jolting slightly from how sensitive she was even though his words and actions made her crave him all over again.

But Draco's hand retracted at her reaction and he dropped a lingering kiss to her shoulder. "If you think I'm going to apologise for being so rough, you're  _ sorely  _ mistaken."

Elara scoffed at the pun, turning her head to face him better and meeting his eyes. "And if  _ you  _ think  _ that  _ was a punishment, then  _ you're  _ sorely mistaken, Malfoy."

He raised an eyebrow, eyes darkening. "Oh?"

She hummed, a smile gracing her full lips. "Mm. You gave me exactly what I wanted." She flashed him a wicked smile and he shook his head at her.

"Don't tempt me, Elara," he warned, his voice rough.

"Or what?" she purred in a sultry voice. "You'll tie me up and bend me over?"

His hands tightened over her hips and he growled low in his throat, diving down to kiss her hard.

She didn't let him, pulling back an inch and he stopped, locking eyes with her. "Jokes on you because that would probably be my dream come true."

Draco's teeth sunk into his bottom lip, fire in his eyes.

He slid his hand right between her legs, disregarding how sensitive she was - now that she'd asked for it.

Oh, boy.

  
  



	44. forty four

"SHE'S KIND OF WEIRD."

Elara hummed, distracted, her eyes skimming over the parchment in front of her. "Is she?"

Amelia nodded, vigorously. "She's always doing these strange things. The other day, I went to find her because she'd missed Charms and she was trying to feed a slice of apple pie to the Giant Squid."

Elara let out a soft laugh. "She  _ is  _ a Ravenclaw after all. We tend to be a bit..."

"Weird?" Amelia offered, helpfully and Elara smiled with a shake of her head.

"We just don't see why we should follow rules," she corrected, fondly.

"Yes, well, whatever it is - I love her," Amelia beamed. "I'm so glad you made us be friends, Ellie. Lucy's my bestest friend now."

"I'm glad - Ames, did you do this essay all on your own?"

Amelia nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

Elara went over the lines again, looking for a mistake. Finding none, she sat back, dropping the quill. "Because it's perfect. There's not one mistake."

"Really?" her little sister squealed. "Oh, thank Merlin. George said I'd fail Transfiguration for sure."

Elara rolled her eyes. "Of course he did. But really - there's nothing wrong with this. I'm pleasantly surprised. You sure you did this all on your own?"

Amelia flushed pink, ducking her head, and Elara clicked her tongue, tilting her chin back up. "Alright - spill it. Who helped you?"

Her younger sister looked sheepish, chewing on her lower lip. "You won't like it."

Elara stared at her. Who could help Amelia in Gryffindor that she wouldn't like?

Oh, Merlin, don't let it be Fletcher -

"You know that boy in Slytherin?"

Elara jerked out of her thoughts, blinking. "What? Who?"

Even as she said it, it dawned on her and she shut her eyes.

She was going to kill him.

"The tall, blond one," Amelia went on, oblivious to Elara's reaction. "I think his name is Malfoy? That's what I call him anyway."

Elara exhaled, loudly, and opened her eyes. "And how in the world did he decide to help you?"

"I was crying - I couldn't finish the essay on time because I'd been out all day with Lucy - with the Thestrals, you know. It takes an awful long time to get them to cry and we had just collected some tears when -"

"Ames."

"Sorry. Well, I was crying here in the library and he was passing by. He saw me crying and asked if I was your sister." She scrunched her petite nose. "I found it awfully rude. There I was, sobbing, and he didn't even ask if I was okay!"

Elara held back a smile, thinking back to the times when Draco would hold her when she was in despair. "Yes - he has a habit of doing that. Go on."

"Yeah - well - then he just sat down to help me," Amelia finished with a shrug. "And he's been helping me ever since."

"Amelia!" Elara scolded. "You can't just let him tutor you! He probably has lots of other things to do -"

_ Like me. _

"It's not like I  _ told  _ him to!" Amelia protested, indignantly, yanking Elara out of her unholy train of thought. "I may have shed a few tears to make him feel guilty but I never  _ told  _ -"

She shrunk back at Elara's withering look. "He's only been  _ helping  _ me. It's not like he's been writing all my essays."

Despite the stern expression she plastered on her face, Elara's heart warmed at the thought of tall, cold Draco sitting at a table with her boisterous, loud sister, explaining how to turn a rat into a teapot.

"Next time, try to do it on your own, okay?" Elara told her, tucking a strand of her younger sister's frizzy hair behind her ear. "And if you still can't do it, come find me. I'll help as much as I can, whenever you need it. There's no need to cry."

Amelia nodded, burying her face into Elara's huge sweater. "I was just frustrated."

Elara smoothed her hair and dropped a soft kiss to her head. "I know. But nothing is more important than your well-being, okay? Your homework is not worth crying over."

"Okay," Amelia responded, pulling back. "Are we done now? Lucy said she's going to try to attack the Whomping Willow."

|

Elara balanced the cake, carefully, in one hand and moved the other to rap on the door in front of her. She could hear Pansy and Theo arguing over something inside the room and wondered if she should come back later.

But then, the door was opening and Blaise stood there, blinking against the light and squinting to see her. "Oh. It's you." His tone was disappointed - as if he'd hoped she wouldn't come.

"Nice to see you too," she shot back, coolly.

He rolled his eyes, stepping aside. "Draco, your little girlfriend is here."

Elara stepped into the room just as Draco swung his legs off of the bed from where he'd been stretched out, looking surprised.

"Elara," he said, questioningly, right before his eyes fell on the cake in her hand. "Oh, Salazar -"

"I told her not to," Blaise told him, returning to his seat on the sofa that they'd brought into the room to make more space to sit. "But her and Pansy insisted."

Elara smiled, her stomach flipping at the sight of Draco, wearing a black shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and trousers, the dark colour a stark contrast against his pale skin. "Happy birthday."

Draco was crossing the distance between them then, shaking his head, a small smile on his face. "I told you not to tell her, Pans."

Pansy snorted from where she was lounging on a chaise, taking a swig of Firewhiskey. "As if. She would've killed me if she'd found out."

"Is it chocolate?" Theo piped up from beside Pansy. "If not, I'm not eating it."

"Good thing it's not your cake then," Elara retorted, teasingly, turning her head to look at him just as Draco's hand grabbed her jaw and brought her lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss.

She almost shivered, unable to touch him due to the cake in her hands, and his lips moved gently against hers.

She heard Blaise gag and Theo make some sassy comment but then Draco was pulling back, leaving one last quick kiss on her mouth.

She recognised the thank you.

"This is such a Muggle thing to do," Blaise grumbled as Elara moved to set the cake down on the table in front of the sofas. "What, is he going to blow out candles now?"

Pansy rolled her eyes. "It's your best friend's birthday and you can't be happy for a second?"

"I'm just saying -"

"Can we cut the fucking cake?" Theo interrupted before the other two could flare up into an argument.

The cake had taken Elara and Pansy approximately two hours to make. Mainly because they had to be extremely quiet since it had been close to two in the morning and the kitchens were dangerously close to the Hufflepuff common room.

Pansy had said Draco's favourite flavour was vanilla - and Elara had spent a good while decorating the cake with sliced strawberries and cream on top, choosing not to use her wand to scrawl a message on top.

"I fucking love strawberries," Theo muttered as he picked some off of his slice and popped it into his mouth.

"I can't believe we're sitting here eating  _ cake,"  _ Blaise scoffed even as he shoveled another spoonful of cake into his mouth.

"You don't look too unhappy about it," Draco commented, slyly, as he nodded at where Blaise was reaching for another slice.

"Pansy, won't you eat?" Elara asked as she settled in next to Draco on the sofa, trying not to touch him for Pansy's sake. She didn't want to make things awkward.

Pansy shook her head, looking remorseful. "I'm trying to lose some weight -"

"Shut up." Draco slid a slice of cake that he had cut for himself onto the plate and pushed it towards her. "It's my birthday. Eat."

Pansy opened her mouth to say something but when Draco raised an eyebrow at her, she rolled her eyes and took the plate. "Fine. But I'm only having one."

Pansy did, in fact, end up finishing most of the cake, although Blaise helped her, considerably.

It was an hour later when Elara found herself curled up next to Draco, her head resting on his shoulder as they watched the others argue over who was the hottest witch in school, as they all took swigs of Firewhiskey.

"It  _ has  _ to be Granger," Theo was saying, his words running over one another from the alcohol. "I mean, look at her! And she's a prude too - makes you really want to corrupt her -"

"It is,  _ hands down,  _ Indigo," Pansy cut him off, whacking him but her hand missed him in her drunkenness. "You know - Elara's friend? The one with long, black hair and -"

"Oh, is she the one who wore the red dress to the Ball?" Blaise interjected, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. "With the black jewels? Fuck, yeah, she's hot."

"Can we not -" Elara began but Pansy talked over her, loudly.

"She's mine, Zabini, don't try," she warned, pointing the bottle at him and nearly spilling it. Theo lurched forward and righted it in her hand before it could. "Oops!"

"I mean, Elara comes a close second to Granger," Theo was saying, his tone sly, seemingly ignoring that she was sitting right there. "I mean, did you  _ see  _ her that night at the Ball in Slytherin colours? If Draco hadn't fucked her that night, I would've - "

Draco made a dangerous sound low in his throat. "Nott, if you don't shut the fuck up, I will -"

Theo's mouth snapped shut, a triumphant smile on his features. "I kid, I kid. Although Jacobs, if you're ever up for it -"

"Hard pass," Elara cut him off with a wry smile, feeling Draco's arm rest, possessively, over her shoulders.

Draco sighed, his breath brushing Elara's ear. The two of them hadn't drunk much - they both liked to be fully sober when they fell into the sheets.

"What a couple of idiots," he murmured in her ear, his hand sliding to bring her legs over his lap, running up and down the bare skin. Elara shivered and nestled into his warmth, the little alcohol she had in her system making her buzz. "It's taking everything I have not to kick them out and take you on this sofa."

Elara giggled and slid her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "They'd probably offer to join."

As Draco rolled his eyes with a smile, Theo piped up again, speaking over Blaise and Pansy who were apparently still arguing over Indigo. "Well - Draco?" he slurred, his dark brown hair flopping over his forehead. "Who's the hottest witch in Hogwarts?"

Draco raised his eyebrows, an amused smile playing on his lips. He pretended to think as his arm around Elara's shoulders tightened. "This should answer your question."

And he turned his head and pressed his mouth full against Elara's, tasting like mint and Firewhiskey and Elara gasped in surprise, her eyes falling shut immediately.

His tongue slid into her mouth and his arm around her moved down so his hand could press against the small of her back, making her sit up straighter and arch into him. His hand on her legs glided further up to the point where her shorts ended.

She tried to pull away, her face heating up, but Draco persisted, tilting his head to kiss her better before taking her bottom lip into his teeth and pulling it back. He released it and moved back, a cocky smile on his lips when she almost keened into him, and turned to face his friends again.

Theo coughed, loudly, acting like he hadn't been staring. "I didn't ask for  _ sex -" _

"Well, I'm going to have it anyway," Draco said, smoothly, glancing back at Elara. She caught the desire simmering under the surface of him. "So get out."

Blaise groaned, getting to his feet immediately. " _ Please  _ \- at least cast a Muffliato first - I'm so tired of hearing -"

"Out," Draco ordered and watched, unbothered, as his friends stumbled to their feet.

"Next time, can I join?" Pansy called as she left, clinging onto Theo, and Draco flicked his wrist, causing the door to shut behind them, pushing them out the rest of the way. They heard Pansy's muffled squeal and Theo cursing as he tripped.

"Draco," Elara scolded even as he forced her down onto the sofa beneath them, his eyes hazy, "You can't just kick them -"

_ "Muffliato." _

Then, his mouth was on hers, hot and searing, and his hands were already hitching the sweater she was wearing up over her hips to rest his hands on her bare skin.

Elara sighed into his mouth, fisting the material of his shirt at the back and tugging him closer, letting him sink on top of her, warm and all consuming. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, leaving hot kisses right where she liked it, making her head drop to the side to give him more space.

She slipped her fingers into his hair, the snake ring on her right index pressing into his scalp. Draco's mouth pressed against the base of her throat and he kissed up it, breathy gasps falling from her lips when he nipped at her skin. Then he pulled back, balancing himself above her and grazing his fingers through the top of her hair, eyes dark and needy.

"So pretty," he murmured under his breath as his eyes drifted over her bright eyes, her flushed cheeks, the colour spreading up her neck, his other hand squeezing her hip.

Elara's heart softened and she reached up to kiss him, a ghost against his lips, and his eyes shut, his mouth straining to press harder against her.

"Draco," she breathed, pulling away, a thought suddenly coming to mind. "You can't tutor my sister without telling me."

Draco stilled, staring at her and then made a sound of exasperation. "You really want to talk about that right  _ now?" _

"Yes," she replied, stubbornly, dropping her arms from around him to cross over her chest.

Draco's eyes flicked between her own before he gauged that she was serious and he groaned, dropping his head momentarily to rest against her chest before heaving a heavy sigh and moving off her to sit on the sofa instead.

She scrambled up, not wanting to be away from his warmth for long and deciding to make this quick. "Well?"

"She needed help," he said, his lips red from the kissing and Elara tapered down the feeling of pride at the sight.

"You helped her multiple times," she chided, settling back against the armrest of the sofa and stretching her legs out over his lap to show him she wasn't angry. "You know people take money for that? It's called  _ tuition." _

Draco rolled his eyes, his hands caressing her thighs, his rings cool on her skin. "I'm well aware, thanks. But I told her shagging her sister was payment enough."

Elara's mouth dropped open and she leaned forward to hit his shoulder as he chuckled at her expression, catching her hand and dropping a swift kiss to it. "I'm kidding. But it  _ is,  _ if you're wondering."

She shook her head at him, tingling as he squeezed her thigh. "I'm  _ serious _ ."

Draco scoffed, tipping his head back to rest against the back of the sofa and turned to look at her, strands of his white-blond hair falling onto his forehead. "What are you gonna do, pull out a few Galleons right now and pay me?"

Elara quirked an eyebrow at him and reached into the pocket of her shorts, pulling out a small brown pouch. "Yes."

She tossed it at him and he caught it with one hand, staring at it for a moment.

"It's fifty Galleons," she told him, easily, wrapping her long hair up into a knot. "Ten per lesson. And if you insist on continuing to do Amelia's homework for her, I will insist on giving you more."

Draco's lips parted and he looked back up at her. "I'm not taking this."

He threw it back to her and she huffed, grasping it in her hand. "I'm not giving you the choice."

She tossed it back and he shook his head again, plopping it into her lap. "No. I  _ barely _ helped her -"

"I checked her essays, Draco," Elara told him, sternly. "There was not  _ one  _ mistake and Amelia's intelligent but  _ no  _ first year can write a perfect essay on how to turn a rat into a teapot."

She picked up the pouch to chuck it back at him but he leaned forward and caught her wrist in his long fingers, fixing her with intense grey eyes. "Elara. I'm not taking it. I have enough money of my own and I'm sure as  _ hell  _ not taking it from the girl I happen to want to spend the rest of my life with. It's just not happening."

He sat back, not even seeming to register what he'd said while Elara's heart halted in her chest, her throat suddenly dry. Did he just say what she thought he did?

Draco glanced at her, obviously wondering how he'd made her back down so fast, knowing she was a lot more headstrong than that. "What? Do I have cake on my face?"

Elara swallowed hard and realisation seemed to dawn on Draco's face. Her heart immediately sank at his expression - as if he couldn't believe what he'd just said either.

She rushed to say something, not wanting him to feel awkward. "No - I - It's fine - It's just the Firewhiskey - " She made a move to slide her legs off him, her gut twisting, but was thwarted when Draco's large hands slid under her thighs and pulled her on top of him so she was straddling him.

Her breath hitched in her throat. She looked down at him as he rested one hand on her waist, the other traveling up to brush a strand of her hair away from her face. The breath was stolen from her lungs when he spoke.

"It's not the Firewhiskey," he said, quietly, and she knew it was true because his hands were steady, his eyes alert. "Elara _. _ "

She was staring at the hollow of his throat, unable to meet his eyes until he tilted her chin up, gently, his features serious. "Elara."

Elara shuddered at the perfect way her name fell from his lips and looked at him, expectantly, despite the way her stomach was squirming.

"I slept with those stupid fucking stars on my ceiling every single night for the past two months," he went on, his voice low and rough. "Just because they reminded me of you."

Her chest bubbled with warmth.

"You think I don't want to keep this going for as long as I can?" he asked, softly, dragging the rough pad of his thumb over her cheekbone.

"That doesn't mean - the rest of your -" Elara struggled to put the words together.

"It does."

He leaned in and kissed her, longingly, mouth soft and loving, a promise sealed with a kiss. She melted against him, sighing when he pulled back an inch and met his silver eyes again, wondering how she'd come to love him so much, so fast.

"Bet?" she asked, her voice hoarse, every inch of her tingling.

Draco gave her a small smile that was almost sad. "Bet."

  
  



	45. forty five

"DO YOU REMEMBER THAT NIGHT BY THE GREAT LAKE?"

Elara raised her head from where it had been resting in the crook of Draco's neck, her heart still racing from his words earlier.

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

"The night you got me out of detention?" she inquired as she traced her fingers over the dragon ring on his finger. He was radiating heat into her and she adored it, delving further into him from where she was lying on the sofa, wedged between the back of it and him.

His arm tightened around her, his hands drifting up and down her back, comforting and safe. "No. When I told you about the Vanishing Cabinet."

Elara nodded, remembering the chilly, moonlit night when he'd asked her if she wanted to get out of Hogwarts. "Mmm. I do."

He was silent for a minute longer and Elara buried her face in his neck again, inhaling the scent of mint and green apples - her favourite.

She felt his lips graze her forehead and her heart swelled. She was never going to let him go.

"Let's get out of here," he murmured, squeezing her tight and she glanced up at him, catching his silver eyes. There was an emotion in him she couldn't place - something like regret.

"Now?" she asked, incredulously. "It's your birthday."

"So?" he answered, softly, combing his fingers through her hair, gently undoing the tangles.

Elara shifted, slightly, so she could look at him better. "I was planning on some birthday sex," she said, cheekily, raising her eyebrows at him

Draco hummed, his eyes darkening. "Oh?" He caught her chin in his large hand, dropped his mouth to hers and she smiled against his lips, letting him roll over her so he was on top of her.

Elara immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer so she could roll her hips against his, already feeling the familiar hunger kindle in her core.

He pulled back, slightly, left a kiss on her cheekbone. "I'd love to end the night like that," he said, softly, looking at her like she was everything he'd ever wanted. It made her tremble. "But I really want to leave here with you first."

Elara stared up at him as he caressed her cheek, loving how gentle he was tonight. She'd never seen him so soft and subdued - as if he was savouring every single moment he got with her.

"It's  _ your _ birthday," she told him with a smile, reaching up to trace his lips with her thumb. "We can do whatever you want."

"I'll definitely be doing you tonight," Draco replied with a sly smirk and her heartbeat picked up when he kissed her again, long and hard. "Come on."

"Are you sure it works?" Elara asked as he slid off her and got to his feet, stretching his arms above his head, his shirt riding up to expose creamy skin and Elara shivered.

Was she ever going to  _ not  _ want him?

Forcing herself to calm her hormones, she let Draco help her up as he answered. "Positive. I tested it out when we went to Hogsmeade two weeks ago."

Elara remembered the recent trip. She and Draco had not been on good terms but she'd spent the day with the Weasley twins, Ginny, Luna and her sisters, browsing in Honeydukes and drinking Butterbeer with Madam Rosmerta.

"Can we stop by the Ravenclaw Tower?" Elara inquired, fixing her hair. "I need to change into something else."

June brought warm days and sunny skies but at night, the temperature would drop and Elara could  _ not  _ risk catching a cold right before her final exams.

So she opted for a midnight blue sweater her mother had gifted her along with jeans and threw on a jacket just in case.

By the time they reached the Room of Requirement, Elara could hear the chime of the clock tower as it struck midnight.

"We'll be back before dawn," Draco assured her, reading her mind as she followed him through the cramped aisles, heading for the tall Vanishing Cabinet.

"If we're caught, you can guarantee they'll expel us," Elara told him and he rolled his eyes.

"No one is expelling us." He exhaled, loudly. "Salazar, has anyone ever told you you worry too much?"

"I do  _ not, _ " Elara shot back but she couldn't dampen the feeling of unease within her at the thought of someone realising they were missing.

Draco pulled the door of the cabinet open and gestured for her to get inside.

"You sure you're not going to shut me in and transport me to the bottom of the Great Lake?" she teased, looking up at him, one hand on the edge of the cabinet, preparing to haul herself in.

"How ever did you guess?" Draco responded in kind, his eyes glittering. "I thought I'd watch you drown from my room - sort of like Muggle television, right?"

She rolled her eyes and pinched his arm before she moved to get in. He followed close behind, climbing in behind her, still holding the door open so it didn't shut on them.

"Ready?" he asked, tilting his head down to look at her, squished against his chest.

Elara nodded, wondering how in the world she'd gotten here - about to sneak out of Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy in the dead of the night. But her thoughts faded when she felt him wrap one strong arm around her shoulders, pressing a light kiss to her head.

Then he let the door fall shut, retracting his hand and bringing it to rest on the back of her head - there wasn't any other place to put it, seeing as the space was so tight.

Nothing happened. No pull in the stomach like in Apparition or jerk of the body like when using a Portkey. Elara couldn't even detect a change in surroundings.

Elara twisted her arms around his torso, letting her head rest against his chest, and mumbled, "You know, it would be really funny if this isn't a magical cabinet after all and we're just standing in a good, old regular -"

Draco pushed open the door and a cool breeze wafted in from an open window in the shack they had suddenly appeared in.

"One thing that you should've learned about me already," Draco mused, looking down at her, his eyes finally visible due to the dim light filtering in through the open door, "is that I'm always right."

"You sure you're a Slytherin?" Elara retorted, dryly, as he stepped out of the cabinet, landing on the floor beneath him without a sound. "'Cause that's a very  _ Ravenclaw  _ thing to say."

"The Sorting Hat  _ was  _ a bit conflicted," he said, easily, turning to hold his hand out to her. She took it and he tugged her to the edge before securing his hands on her waist and lifting her. "But I think it knew green was my favourite colour." He set her down, leaving a chaste kiss on her mouth.

"Well, blue isn't mine," she grumbled, thinking it was probably silver grey as she met Draco's eyes before he offered her his hand. She hesitated, her heart thumping wildly. She'd barely gotten the chance to hold hands with him before - they'd never been able to be so open in Hogwarts. And in his room, they tended to get a little -  _ distracted. _

It seemed a lot more intimate than she'd realised.

Elara slid her hand into his much larger one, relished in the feeling of it enveloping hers as they walked to the door of the empty shack. "How did you even find out the counterpart was here?"

Draco raised a casual shoulder, yanking open the door to reveal a twisting, leaf-littered path through the forest. She could see the smoke from chimneys at the end of it and realised they must be just outside Hogsmeade. "Stroke of luck in third year."

"Third?" she asked a while later as leaves crunched under their shoes, an owl hooting somewhere in the distance. She shivered and pressed further into Draco's side, his hand warm in hers. "And you never thought to use it till now?"

"I didn't know the other half was at Hogwarts." His eyes were almost glowing silver in the moonlight, the breeze coasting through his hair. "Until the end of last year."

They emerged into the small, cramped back streets of Hogsmeade and Draco immediately began tugging her in the direction of the Three Broomsticks.

She tugged back, causing him to come to a halt.

"What?" His eyebrows furrowed as he turned to her, so tall she had to tilt her head back to look at him.

"You think Madam Rosmerta isn't going to snitch if she sees us?" Elara raised her eyebrow at him, watched in satisfaction as realisation dawned on his face. For  _ once,  _ she'd been one step ahead of him. "She'd probably send a Patronus to McGonagall as soon as we walk in."

Draco looked at her for a moment longer, the streets quiet except for an owl shuffling along the roof of a nearby building. "Ah. We finally see why she was placed in Ravenclaw."

Elara narrowed her eyes at his teasing smirk. "Oh? Aren't Slytherins supposed to be hard-working and ambitious? I see neither of those qualities in you."

She watched as the smile slipped off his face and gave him a proud grin.

"Wait till we get back to my room," Draco finally said, his voice so low it fizzled straight to her core. "I'll show you just how  _ hard-working  _ and  _ ambitious  _ I can be when I make you come for the seventh time."

Elara's lips parted, the grin vanishing, and she clenched her thighs together, despite the fact that they were out in the open, in a deserted street in Hogsmeade.

"Liked that, didn't you?" he taunted, reaching out to grab her jaw in one hand and bring her mouth to his, hard. "Such a dirty, little girl." His breath was warm against her lips.

"I'm not little," Elara shot back with a raised eyebrow. "Although I can't say the same for you." She glanced down at his belt as the words slipped past her lips and Draco's hold on her face tightened, forcing her eyes back up.

"Funny," he rasped, quietly, eyes liquid silver and burning with desire. "That's not what you were saying when I took you in the shower yesterday."

Elara's cheeks flushed at the memory of Draco pressing her up against the wall, water sliding down both their bodies, as he wrapped her legs around his waist and forced her to take all of him.

"Mmm," Draco hummed, seeing the blush that rose to her face. "That's what I thought."

Elara pushed up onto her tiptoes to kiss him, winding her fingers into his soft hair at the base of his neck and he dropped his hand from her face to rest on her waist. "So where are we going?" she breathed even as she considered suggesting that they just find a nice, quiet alley to shag in. But he'd wanted this with her - to be out of Hogwarts - and she wanted it too.

"How about London?" he asked her, intertwining their fingers again, dragging his thumb across the back of her hand.

She glanced up at him. "You sure you can Apparate the both of us without passing out?"

Draco's eyes dimmed and she smiled at how offended he looked. But it was wiped off her face when she felt the sharp, tugging sensation in her stomach and nausea rose in her like a wave, the pressure almost unbearable.

She squeezed her eyes shut and then it was over and she could breathe again. They were standing in a dark alleyway, the street it opened up into bustling with people despite the late hour.

"Keep doubting me and I'll make sure you can't walk tomorrow," he told her, casually, obviously glad she looked so put off by the Apparition.

"Bastard," she muttered under her breath and he raised his eyebrow at her, lips turned up in a smile.

He gave her one last kiss, seeming reluctant to pull away and then began to lead her towards the street. "Come on, I know a place."

By the time they reached the Ritz, Elara was cold to the bone.

Draco side-eyed her with a small smile, pressing her into his side to try and give her some warmth. "You have ice on your eyelashes and it's summer."

"Har-har," Elara said, sarcastically, at his joke. She knew she had the tendency to feel cold even when the temperature wasn't that low. "Can I ask what the  _ fuck  _ we're doing at the most expensive hotel in London? Did you bring me here so we could stare it and mourn over how broke we are?"

" _ You  _ are," Draco corrected, casually, staring up at the tall building, gleaming cars sliding up to the entrance. Elara stared at him, wondering if he'd actually just said what he had. He sent her a glance, the corner of his lips quirked up. "What? Do you expect me to be humble?"

"How could I?" she shot back, sarcastically. "I don't think the word is even in your dictionary."

Draco gave her a fleeting smile - one that reached his eyes - and Elara's heart spluttered to what seemed like a stop.

"So what are we doing here?" she asked, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, acting as if he hadn't just brought her world to a complete standstill with just a smile.

Draco took her hand again and she wondered how he was still so warm - even without a jacket. "Getting a room."

Ten minutes later, Draco was pressed against the room door, his mouth fumbling for Elara's as she kissed him in the hallway, feverishly.

"Elara -  _ wait -  _ "

Elara huffed, pulling back. "Sorry - sorry."

He chuckled and left one last kiss on her forehead before turning back to the door, swiping the keycard across the sensor.

"I didn't expect you to even like Muggle London - let alone frequent a hotel," Elara teased, leaning her weight on his arm, her hand still in his.

He scoffed as the sensor beeped and pushed the door open with his shoulder. "I don't. But it's a welcome escape from Malfoy Manor."

Elara sobered almost immediately, her heart aching for him. He let her pass first into the suite and then followed, shutting the door behind them. She began to shrug off her jacket, turning to face him. "You can always come stay with us, you know."

Draco's hands slowed from where he'd been flicking on the lights. He was silent for a long time as he moved past her into the suite, kicking off his shoes and undoing the first button of his shirt.

"I'm serious," Elara told him, looking around the massive suite - with a kitchenette and a spacious bathroom. "And I  _ still  _ think it's unnecessary to bring me here just for a  _ few  _ hours. Do you have any idea how much money you're spending?"

Draco looked up at her from where he'd picked up the room service menu. "Well-aware, considering that I've been here about every other night during the summer." He glanced back down, his eyes skimming over the list. "What do you want to eat?"

Elara blinked at him, placing her jacket over the back of the chair in front of the table. "We're eating?"

Draco hummed, flipping the page. "Mmm. I reckon anybody unlucky enough to be within a fifty metre vicinity of us could hear your stomach on the way here." He raised his eyes to hers, his lips quirked upwards, to gauge her reaction.

Elara glared at him, resting one hand over her abdomen - which decided  _ right now  _ was the best time to grumble. Draco let out a breathless laugh.

Deciding she couldn't win this one, she kicked off her shoes and padded over to him, ducking under the arm he raised and then lowered over her shoulders so she could nestle against his side and read the menu with him.

His hand grazing up and down her arm, generating some more warmth in her, Draco nodded at the menu. "They have apple pie for dessert by the way."

Elara turned her head to look up at him, surprise etched on her features, and his eyes left the menu a moment later to meet hers. "How in the world did you know apple pie is my favourite dessert?"

Draco blinked at her and then turned back to the menu. "You mentioned it - during one of our dueling sessions. I'd won for the third time in a row and you were lying on the floor, complaining about how you wanted nothing more than apple pie right then."

The memory flashed in her mind - it had been ages ago, soon after Fletcher had assaulted her. She'd been cold and exhausted and Draco had been especially merciless with her that night, barely giving her a chance to breathe before he came at her with consecutive hexes.

He'd remembered. Her heartbeat picked up at just the thought.

"Stop staring at me and pick something to eat, Jacobs."

Elara moved towards the sliding glass door as Draco picked up the phone to order room service. Stepping out onto the balcony, she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and looked around at the quiet streets of London, leaning her forearms on the railing.

She thought of Hogwarts, miles and miles away now, her home for the past seven years. She had grown up there, had met her friends there - friends who had become family. She had laughed and cried within those walls, played Quidditch and stressed over exams, kissed boys and gossiped with the girls in her dorm late into the night. She had played pranks on Professor Flitwick and Trelawney, had disturbed every class with at least _one_ kind of witty remark and had gotten detention with practically _all_ the teachers. She had stuffed her face with food in the Great Hall, lost her appetite during exam season, had spent countless nights studying in the library, had messed about in the snow with her friends, had sprawled out in the grass on warm days for picnics, and had eaten so many Chocolate Frogs she'd been sick the whole day.

It had become her only safe place, her only escape from her turbulent family life.

And then everything had changed and somehow, she'd suddenly found home in a tall, sarcastic Slytherin boy with sharp silver eyes and a wicked grin who was currently sat on the bed inside their hotel suite, ordering food for her.

The thought brought a smile to her face.

"Are you  _ trying  _ to get sick?"

She turned her head to see Draco leaning against the edge of the sliding door, crossing his arms over his chest. "You were freezing on the way here and couldn't wait to get inside. Now you're out here?"

Elara rotated to face him, leaning back on her elbows on the railing and he lifted a warning eyebrow. "Careful."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Who would've guessed _you_ were so protective?" She gave him a teasing grin and he looked away, the corner of his lips turned up.

"Only over you." His voice was low and sent tingles through her body. She leaned further back on her arms and he pushed off the door, reaching for her with a scowl. "Stop that."

Elara giggled, softly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He relaxed as she did so, hands resting on her hips, tracing circles with his thumb. His eyes met hers and she loved how at peace he looked - the strain that was usually on his face at school replaced with relaxed features and glittering eyes.

"How are you mine?" she asked him, her heart swelling with the sensations he made her feel just with a glance or a brush of his thumb against her hip. She slid her hands away from his neck, down his chest.

Draco's eyes flicked between hers at the question - as if trying to decide if she was serious. Then, he dipped his head and kissed her, long and sweet. Her lips melted against his, his hands sliding up to rest against her lowest rib and she smiled against him, twisting her fingers into the front of his shirt.

He pulled back, looking down at her. "I don't know how this happened," he said, softly, thinking over the words before he said them. "But I'm really fucking glad it did."

Elara smiled up at him and he inhaled, sharply, lifting a hand to rest on the side of her neck, thumb pressing against her pulse point. "I wish I could - " He hesitated and she tugged him closer so he could drop his forehead against hers. "I wish I could tell you - everything."

"You can tell me anything," she murmured, letting her eyes fall shut as his thumb grazed over her cheekbone. "Merlin knows I still have a billion questions about you."

She sensed his hesitation as he drew back, moving to lean beside her on the railing, resting his forearms over it while she faced the opposite direction, looking back into the hotel room. "You're a Ravenclaw through and through," he drawled, "but I can't promise I'll answer everything."

She nodded, slowly. Despite the fact that she wanted to extract every single bit of information that she could from Draco Malfoy, she knew he would only retreat further into himself if she prodded too much.

"Did you finally leave Fletcher alone after...after my friends found out about us?" she inquired. The question had been on her mind ever since she'd ended things with him in the library. She'd been worried sick he'd get himself expelled.

Draco hummed low in his throat, twisted the dragon ring she'd given him around his finger. "As much as I hated to - I had to. McGonagall gave me three weeks worth of detention after she found out I'd beaten Blaise to a pulp for telling on us."

Her mouth dropped open. "Draco!"

He shrugged in response, giving her a wry smile. "He knew it was coming. And it's not like  _ he  _ snitched on me to McGonagall. One of the blasted Gryffindor first-years did. McGonagall said she couldn't keep protecting me if I did it again and she'd be forced to expel me and I..." The breeze mussed up his hair. "I really couldn't bring myself to leave you on your own in that pathetic school - even if you said you didn't want me."

"You can't - You can't beat up your best friend - " Elara spluttered, glaring at him although her heart warmed at his words.

"He took away the one thing that made it easier for me to breathe," Draco replied, smoothly. "And he knew it. I wasn't going to let him get off the hook."

Elara's mouth snapped shut from where she'd been about to retort. He gave her a smirk at her silence and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Any more questions you have for me, Ravenclaw?"

"He wasn't - mad?" Elara questioned, softly, thinking of the way Blaise looked at her with disdain everytime she passed by.

Draco shook his head. "He was, at first. But I think he realised he deserved it once I stopped coming out of my room."

Elara looked at him. "I'm sorry - "

He cut her off with a kiss. "Stop apologising. I already said I forgave you."

"But - "

_ "Elara." _

"Okay, okay." She admitted defeat, pressed her shoulder to his. "I have another queston."

Draco propped his arm up on the railing, rested his chin in his palm. "Mmm."

"You said..." Elara hesitated, chewing on her lip and Draco's eyes were drawn to the movement.

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't do that."

She immediately released her lip from between her teeth. "You said -"

He nodded, indicating for her to go on, raising his other hand that his chin wasn't resting on and brushing a strand of her hair from her face.

Elara resisted the urge to chew on her lip again as she debated whether or not she should ask. She didn't want him to shy away and slip on his mask on - didn't want to lose how gentle and soft he was being with her tonight.

"Elara," Draco coaxed, quietly. "Ask."

She met his eyes then, steeling herself, and let the breeze cool her cheeks. "You said - that you didn't want to see another woman get raped." There, it was out now. "When you were saving me from Fletcher - do you remember?"

In a flash, Draco's eyes had darkened and he was straightening, his shoulders stiff, his hands wrapping around the railing, tapping his index on it, his ring clinking against it. Elara held her breath, her heart suddenly pounding, waiting to see how he'd react. If he'd hiss at her and demand they go back to Hogwarts - or if he'd give in and expose a little more of himself to her.

She so badly wanted it to be the second one but knew the chances were low. He would always be so closed off and reserved - broken inside but putting on a facade of sharp ice and indifference.

"I'm sorry," Elara said as his jaw clenched, his eyes somewhere along the London horizon, slightly paler than he'd been a few moments before. She hated herself for ruining the moment but she was a Ravenclaw and by definition, she needed answers.

Especially when she was so in love with him.

"I shouldn't have asked." Her voice was gentle, not wanting him to lash out at her. He wasn't ready yet - she'd wait for as long as he needed.

She turned, swallowing hard, preparing to head back inside to give him some space but stopped short when he spoke, his voice rough and quiet.

"My mother."

  
  



	46. forty six

ELARA COULDN'T BREATHE.

Her pulse thrummed, painfully, in her neck as she stared at Draco, her eyes wide. Had she heard him right?

Draco was stoic, looking out over the London landscape, expressionless, jaw taut.

"What?" Her voice was barely a whisper, shaking on the one word.

He let out a long exhale and shut his eyes, fingers tightening over the railing, collecting his thoughts. Then, his eyes opened and he looked down at the snake ring on his finger - the one matching Elara's, the Black heirloom.

"I was ten," he finally said, straightening a bit more. "It was the summer before the first year at Hogwarts - I was beyond excited to go."

Elara stayed quiet, twisting the ring he'd given her around her finger. She felt guilty for asking but her curiosity got the better of her and she made no move to stop him as he went on.

"We had a friend," Draco murmured, his eyes glazing over as his mind slipped somewhere else. "A good friend of my father's. He used to come visit us in the holidays - he wasn't married, didn't have any kids - and he used to buy me Sugar Quills and Honeydukes' chocolates."

The wind breezed by, picked up strands of his white-blond hair, making them fall onto his forehead. He pushed them away with one hand, still looking dazed and reminiscent.

"He was kind of like..." he trailed off, his eyes dimming. "Like a father figure to me."

Elara nodded, wanting to reach for him but deciding against it.

"He raped her," he said, bluntly, not even a flicker of emotion on his face. "When my father was away. I couldn't - I couldn't do anything. I didn't even have a wand."

"But - But your mother -"

"She's an exceptional duelist but she'd been sick for weeks before it happened. It was why that fucking monster was in our house in the first place - my father had asked him to look after us while he was gone." A muscle twitched in Draco's jaw. "I tried - to stop him."

Elara's eyes stung at the thought of ten year old Draco, terrified and screaming, trying to get to his mother.

"She begged me to stay away," he continued, quietly. "She didn't even have her wand on her - there was nothing she could even  _ try  _ to do - but she begged me to stay away."

He shuddered and seemed to collect himself, coming back to reality. "He knocked me out and when I woke up - he was gone and my father was back. The house elves had heard the commotion and apparated to get him - he was somewhere in Norway at the time."

Elara caught the brief spasm of his fingers, the way he curled them around the railing tighter again afterwards.

A tear slid down her cheek. "Draco..."

He looked at her finally for the first time since he'd started talking. His eyes fell on the tear on her cheek, on the ones brimming her eyes.

He pushed off the railing, came to stand in front of her. "It's okay. It happened a long time ago."

"Eight years," Elara whispered, her throat constricted. "You've been living with this for eight years?"

Draco's eyes were a dark silver as he gazed down at her. "She retreated into her shell after it happened. She used to -" He let out a soft sigh. "She used to smile so much. Now she always looks - haunted."

Elara recalled the look she'd seen multiple times now in Draco's eyes. When he'd cried into her neck in the sixth floor bathroom, when she'd been about to tell him she loved him on the counter in his bathroom, when she'd been leaving him in the library and when she'd given in and gone back to him and finally told him how much she loved him.

Haunted. And tragic.

Draco Malfoy had been torn apart by the very same event Narcissa Malfoy had been broken by. Mother and son, destined to be haunted together - forever.

"Don't," he murmured, catching one of her tears with his thumb and pressing a kiss to another one. "You asked so I answered. It's okay."

"How are  _ you  _ comforting  _ me?"  _ Elara let out a watery laugh

"I meant what I said," Draco said, softly, his hands moving away from her face and down to bring her right hand up, pressing his palm against hers, the other resting on the railing by her side. "You make it easier for me to breathe - to live with the things that happened and try -  _ try -  _ to be better."

He looked at their hands, pressed against each other and she saw his eyes focus on the ring on her index finger - the one that had used to be his mother's and that was now hers.

He intertwined their fingers, leaving a kiss against the ring, and the breath evaporated from Elara's chest.

He met her eyes. "I don't want you to hate me."

"I would never," Elara replied, immediately, her vision blurring at the raw emotion in his voice. "I love you."

Draco's eyes flickered and his throat bobbed - he always seemed to be shaken whenever she said it.

"Promise me you'll never stop," he said and his eyes were suddenly tragic again, dim and heartbreaking.

The air seemed to drop a few degrees, the city below them hushed in the early beginnings of morning. The sun wouldn't rise for another few hours, the moon still high in the sky.

Draco's hand tightened over hers, his dragon ring pressed against her snake one as she said, "I promise."

He looked at her for a moment longer, tensed, expecting her to take it back before his body relaxed and he blew out a breath, the slightest tremor in his fingers.

She shut her eyes when he dropped her hand and cupped her face, pressed his thumbs into her cheekbones, tilting her head up.

Her voice was edged when she spoke. "I want to kill him - whoever he is."

"Me first," Draco whispered, a ghost against her lips, before his mouth met hers, soft and inviting, a gentle, reassuring caress.

She shivered under his touch, reaching up to fist the front of his shirt, and his fingers tangled in her hair, the other sliding down to push under her sweater and rest on her bare waist.

"I love you," she said again, mumbling it against his lips, and he shuddered at the words, tilting his head to the side to kiss her harder. "I swear I do."

"Fuck," Draco breathed, pulling back. "I want to hear you say that for the rest of my fucking life, Elara."

"I will," she murmured, looking up at him with bright eyes. "I will."

Then, he was scooping her up, legs wrapping around his waist and carrying her into the room.

She joined their lips again, tantalisingly gentle, her fingers winding into his hair, tugging on the strands and he sighed against her mouth, squeezing her tighter to him.

But just as he laid her down on the bed and made to settle over her, they were interrupted by a knock on the door and a sing-song voice.

"Room service!"

As if on cue, Elara felt her stomach grumble.

Draco groaned, closing his eyes and dropping his head into her neck for a moment before he sighed and pushed off her, moving towards the door.

Elara pushed herself up into a sitting position, disappointed that they'd been interrupted but equally excited to eat.

She considered it her fatal flaw: her love for food.

"This looks amazing." She gaped a few minutes later as she slid into the chair opposite Draco at the small, round table. "You ordered  _ two  _ pizzas?"

"I'm hungry too," Draco retorted, his hair still messy from where she'd run her hands through it. It made him look twice as hot and she didn't know if she wanted to devour the dishes in front of them or  _ him  _ more.

He caught the look in her eye and smirked. "Eat up, Jacobs. You'll need the energy for later."

Elara's core clenched and she tried not to dwell on the hidden meaning in his words, lest she tackle him there and then.

"I have another question," she said as they finished up their food several minutes later. She twirled some spaghetti around her fork. "Merlin, this is  _ amazing." _

Draco finished off his last slice of pizza, reaching over the table to drag his thumb along her chin, wiping away some of the sauce. "Go on then."

She watched as he settled back into his seat, looking at her with intent eyes from across the table. "Amelia said you'd been tutoring her for a while - so that means you'd been helping her even after I told you - after we ended things in the library."

" _ You  _ ended things," he corrected, easily, reaching for a strawberry.

"Mmm," Elara's cheeks flushed. "But - why? You hated me so much for what I'd done so why help my sister?"

She speared some more spaghetti. "And don't say you would've done it for anyone because we  _ both  _ know that's not true."

The notion that Draco would crouch down to comfort  _ any  _ first year and help them with their homework was almost laughable. Elara knew she was the only one who got to see his soft side and it made her love him all the more.

Draco's lips turned upwards. "Insightful." He crossed his arms over his chest, loosely, slumped against the back of the chair, done with his food. "It was either me or you."

Elara stopped chewing. "What?"

Draco huffed as she put down her fork. "Either  _ you  _ would have to help her and have even more on your plate than you already do..." He glanced down at the literal plate in front of her and looked pleased that she'd almost finished it. "Or  _ I  _ could do it and save you some of the hassle. That's all."

He folded his napkin, neatly, tucked it underneath his plate, as if he'd just told her it was a warm day outside. She watched, speechless, as he crossed the room and picked up the phone, ordering apple pie for them, and waited till he returned to his chair.

Elara picked up her fork, the warmth in her chest still expanding at his words. "I'm starting to think I should start calling you Saint Malfoy."

He rolled his eyes at her teasing tone, eyes fixed on her as she finally finished the last of her spaghetti. "Wait till I fuck you after this. You'll realise I'm  _ definitely  _ no fucking  _ saint." _

Elara's self-control vanished as soon as the words were out of his mouth and the fork clattered onto the plate as she pushed back her chair.

The smirk on Draco's face only grew as she got to her feet and rounded the small table. He pushed his chair back himself to give her space and she threw one leg over him, settling comfortably into his lap, straddling him.

"Impatient, are we?" he breathed as his hands slid under her sweater, resting low on her bare back.

"Shut up," she murmured, toying with the strands of his hair at the base of his neck and pressing herself more firmly down against him. His eyes darkened, dropping to where their hips were joined.

He leaned up and connected their lips, eagerly, groaning when she rolled her hips against his again.

"Shit." He was breathless already and nipped at her lower lip, hard. "Elara -"

Elara increased the friction between them, finding a slow, graceful rhythm and Draco's teeth sank into the skin of her neck, muffling a moan that escaped his throat. She tried to steady her breathing as she moved on top of him but when her hands moved to his belt, Draco was standing up and reaching into his pocket for his wand.

With a flick, the table was cleared, all the dishes piling up neatly onto the trolley next to them and he tossed his wand away, setting her down on the table.

She laughed at his eagerness as he peeled her sweater off her, leaving her in just her bra but the smile slid off her face when she saw his eyes fix on her chest and darken.

She'd completely forgotten. She'd worn lace - emerald green lace, a stark contrast to her skin and  _ very  _ see-through.

She'd been planning something for his birthday and -

The thoughts were vanished from her mind when Draco's hand gripped her throat, rings biting into her skin, and forced her to lie down on the table, the soft white table cloth caressing her back.

" _ Salazar,"  _ Draco rasped, looking down at her. "Where the fuck did you get this from?"

She propped herself up on her elbows, giving him an offended look as he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down the zipper. "I  _ do  _ own nice things, you know."

"It's a set," she added a split second later and Draco made a noise in the back of his throat.

He barely seemed to be lucid, his pupils blown out from lust so much, his eyes were almost black. He yanked her jeans off her and she helped him slide them off, his eyes taking her in, roaming up and down her body, her collarbones, the swell of her breasts, her soft stomach, her chubby thighs _. "Fucking hell." _

Elara squirmed, reaching for him but he stopped her, one hand moving to plant itself beside her head to keep from falling on top of her.

"Happy birthday," she whispered and his throat bobbed as he dropped his mouth to hers in a long, lingering kiss.

"The things I want to do to you," he breathed, pressing his hips against hers, his erection fully prominent and hard. "You're the best fucking birthday present I could ever ask for."

"Oh?" Elara taunted, raising an eyebrow, the fire in her core already raging. "Prove it."

Draco growled low in his throat and slid both his hands to rest on her throat, pressing slightly as he shifted his hips forward, a lot less material between them now.

Elara bit down on her lip, feeling him hard right between her thighs and tried to lift her hips to generate some friction but he forced her down, hands tightening around her neck.

Pleasure fanned out through her core as he rolled his hips against her again and she whimpered as his hands moved from her neck to palm her breasts from over the sheer material of her bra.

"So fucking  _ perfect,"  _ he rasped, tugging the edge low enough so he could lean down and take the sensitive bud into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the tip.

Elara keened, her back arching just that slight bit, hands digging into his hair.

His teeth scraped against the peak and she mewled as he tore his mouth from it, moving to the other.

"Draco -"

His fingers moved between her legs and he released her nipple with a hiss when he felt how wet she was.

"Look at you," he said, appreciatively, glancing down between her thighs, sinking his teeth into his lip as he took in the sheer emerald green lace. He groaned when she ground her hips against his hand. "Fuck, you're going to be the death of me, Elara."

"Good," she gasped out as he squeezed her hip, his mouth returning to press hot kisses over the swell of her breasts. He bit into the soft skin, ran his tongue over it.

Draco hummed against her and then surprised her when he disentangled himself from her and settled into the chair he'd been sitting in.

Elara's eyebrows furrowed, propping herself up, her mouth opening to protest and demand why he was so far away when she saw where his gaze was focused - on the apex of her thighs.

He looked ravenous.

She let him part her thighs and pull himself closer, still sitting on the chair, and his mouth dragged up from her inner knee up to her thigh, hot and wet.

Elara's chest heaved as she let out a soft whimper, one hand moving to his hair, the other being used to hold herself up.

"You're dripping all over the table, darling." His voice was low and sensual, tugging at her core in ways she didn't know were possible.

"Whose fault is that?" she responded in kind, breathless as his lips skimmed higher, his hands spreading her knees, rings cold.

"Mmm," Draco hummed and it sent a jolt of pleasure through her, making her head fall back, momentarily. "Well, I'm certainly not complaining."

When he pressed his open mouth right over her clothed clit, Elara let out a yelp, her hips jolting but Draco was prepared and gripped her tighter.

And when he nipped at the thin lacy fabric, pulling it down with his teeth, Elara's fingers gripped the tablecloth beneath her, knowing what was coming next.

"Stop - teasing," she gasped out, looking down at where his lips were attaching themselves to her inner thigh again, leaving a hickey.

"I'll do whatever I please," he shot back, his eyes hazy with desire. She wondered how she could get him so lost in her without even  _ trying. _

Just like he did to her.

And then he hooked his long fingers into the edge of her underwear and pulled it down her legs, tossing it aside in one easy motion.

Elara made to remove her bra but he clicked his tongue, his hands moving from her knees to slide under her thighs and yank hard. The breath was knocked out of her as the movement scooted her to the edge of the table, her back falling back against the table again, instead of sitting up.

"Leave it on," Draco mused, his eyes moving from the green lace to fix on hers.

She nodded, her hands falling away and let her neck relax so instead of looking down her body at him, she was staring at the ceiling.

"My own personal feast," he murmured, his breath hitting her clit, making her squirm. "What a delight."

And then his head was buried between her thighs and his tongue delved into her like a man starving.

They both moaned at the same time and Elara immediately felt the familiar pressure build up in her stomach, already there from the foreplay. Draco was the only person who could make her approach an orgasm so fast.

His tongue slid between her folds, unabashedly confident, tasting her and holding her down, preventing her from squirming to get any other kind of release.

His lips closed around her clit, teeth barely scraping against it, and Elara's back arched off the table, her thighs aching to close around his face.

He lapped at her, alternating between sucking on her clit and delving his tongue into her, and Elara was a wet mess underneath him, her fingers yanking involuntarily on his blond locks.

"Never..." Draco flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves, making her mewl as pleasure rocketed through her body. "Getting..." His hands drifted up to massage her hips, only enhancing the sensations. "Tired..."

He pulled back an inch, slid one hand up to grasp her breast and flick his thumb over her nipple before he dropped his mouth onto her again, wet and warm, his other hand coming up to spread her folds open. "Of this."

"Draco - Draco -  _ please -"  _ Elara cried out, her head thrashing, as the pressure in her lower abdomen tugged and tugged and tugged and she tried to force his head away, overwhelmed by the sensations. "Draco - I'm -"

"Do it," he coaxed, one hand massaging her hip, before he dove back in, grazing his teeth gently over her clit before he sucked on it. "Come on my tongue, Elara."

And she did a few moments later, trying to worm away from him, as the bubble burst and she was falling and falling and falling, trying to push his head away as he kept lapping at her, nearly sobbing with pleasure. Her legs shook as he continued to swirl his tongue over her clit, making her jerk her hips, and he held her down as she rode out the last of her orgasm, his name a plea on her lips.

When her vision cleared, Draco finally pulled away, looking satisfied, his talented tongue running over his lips to collect any of her arousal still there.

"I  _ was  _ looking for dessert," he said, slyly, his eyes lustful.

Her cheeks flushed more than they already had. She shivered and sat up, pressing one palm into the table to keep herself up as she remembered what she'd planned for his birthday. She'd expected to do it in his room back at Hogwarts but was glad she could try it somewhere she was sure they wouldn't be interrupted.

His eyes flicked up at her in question, hunger written on every feature of his handsome face.

Elara pushed his hand away and got comfortable on the table, her heart pounding against her ribs.

He watched as one of her hands trailed up her body, briefly squeezing her breast before coasting up her throat and dipping her fingers into her mouth.

She saw his eyes widen, slightly, as he realised what she was about to do and she wondered herself how she was going to manage this when she'd just experienced a mind-blowing orgasm.

But it was his birthday. He deserved a show.

Her fingers drifted down, grazing the space between her breasts, down her stomach, stopping right below her bellybutton as she watched his eyes focus on them, his jaw clenching.

"Are you going to touch yourself for me?" he demanded, darkly. "Hmm, Elara?"

She let her fingers do the talking and dragged them lower, circling her clit with her thumb, pleasure jolting through her despite the sensitivity.

"I believe," she said, sultry and tempting, "that you promised to make me come seven times tonight."

Draco's face went slack and he was on his feet in an instant, hauling her up and around him and moving towards the two armchairs around the fireplace in the suite and dumping her on one.

He moved to the other, directly opposite her, the coffee table in between them and settled onto it, throwing one arm over the back, his ankle coming up to balance on his other knee. "I want to see you make yourself come first."

She wondered how he was keeping control and being so nonchalant - especially since  _ she _ wanted nothing more than to jump on his lap and ride him.

The thought made her core tighten even more.

"Go on," he said, lazily, a slow smile spreading over his face.

It annoyed her how calm he was - when her hormones were at an all time high.

She'd make him pay.

Make him beg.

So Elara shoved all her doubts aside and spread her legs wide, shifting back on the couch so she could lean against the back.

Her hands moved to tug the hem of her bra under her breasts, letting them spill out, and Draco's eyes darkened.

Then - agonisingly slow - she dragged her hand down her stomach and thumbed her clit, mewling at the feeling.

Nothing close to Draco but still good.

Forcing her legs to stay open so he could get a good look at what she was doing, she slid two fingers up and down her slit, gathering moisture, her other hand massaging her breast.

Draco's throat bobbed and his eyes focused on the fingers between her thighs, although he didn't remove his arm from over the back of his chair.

Then, she dipped her fingers into herself and watched as Draco shifted on the armchair, trying to adjust himself.

"Fuck," he breathed, his eyes slightly wide as he watched her pump her fingers in and out of her. " _ Fuck -  _ faster, Elara."

She obeyed, feeling euphoria spike through her as she picked up the pace, imagining it was Draco in front of her, long, slender fingers moving in and out of her.

"Draco..." she whimpered, pressing down on her clit with her thumb.

"Curl your fingers," he ordered, swallowing hard, his eyes flicking up as she pinched her nipple in between two fingers. "Shit - keep doing that."

She could see him spiralling, losing control already, and as she followed his instructions, his fingers tightened over the back of the armchair.

He made to move towards her when she moaned but she stopped him with a look. "No touching," she purred, making him sink back into the armchair with a look of agony on his face.

"Please," he forced out, his eyes dropping back to the space between her thighs as she pulled out her fingers all the way, letting him see the moisture on them before she plunged them back in. " _ Fuck,  _ Elara,  _ please." _

_ Ha _ . That's what he got.

But all her triumph disappeared when the agony slipped off his face, replaced with lazy confidence once again. Then, he dropped his arm from behind the armchair and moved his hands to his belt.

Elara's pulse was beating so hard against her neck, she was sure he could hear it, as he undid his belt with nimble fingers and unbuttoned his trousers, pulling his shirt up and out of it, letting it rest above his hard stomach.

She nearly drooled at the sight, her fingers stilling inside her, the pleasure fading and he clicked his tongue at her, yanking down his zipper.

"Don't stop on my account," he told her, his eyes glittering. "If I'm not allowed to touch..." He lifted his hips, pushed his trousers down and released his hard length. "Then neither are you."

She almost slid off the armchair when he wrapped one large hand around himself and dragged his thumb over the tip.

Her throat went dry, her head empty of thoughts as she watched him pump himself a few times, his hooded eyes on hers.

His other arm returned to drape over the back of the armchair.

"Did you not hear what I said?" he drawled, twisting his hand around himself and Elara felt herself get impossibly wetter. "Keep going, Elara. Or I'll come over there and make you."

She wanted to take the offer but watching him jerk himself off, his hard stomach in full view, his posture relaxed, eyes dark and swirling with hunger, was quite possibly the highlight of her year.

So she sped her fingers up again, suddenly  _ so  _ much more aroused as she watched him match her pace.

"Draco -" she gasped out as she curled her fingers, hitting a spot in her that made her see stars. But it wasn't enough - her fingers were too small, now that she'd gotten used to Draco's long ones.

He sank his teeth into his lower lip, his head falling back against the armchair, his hand moving fluidly up and down his length. "Fuck - don't fucking stop, Elara."

"It's not -" She shuddered, her back arching, as she circled her clit. "It's not enough -"

Her head knocked back, her eyes shutting as she brought herself  _ so  _ close to the edge, unable to take herself over it.

"Look at me." His voice was rough and demanding and she did, her chest heaving, as he lifted his hips, fucking his own hand. His hair fell onto his forehead, tousled, his eyes hooded and dark.

It was one of the prettiest pictures she'd ever seen.

He was looking at her the same way as she slid her fingers out, to play with her clit and he groaned, the most erotic sound, as he watched her, his head still tipped back against the back of the armchair.

The noise was all it took for Elara to feel her core tighten and she was so,  _ so  _ close -

Just as she was about to break and topple over the edge, Draco pushed himself off the couch, kicking his trousers off and crossing the distance between them in two strides.

Elara gasped out as he deprived her of her own touch, pulling her hand away from her clit and she started to cuss at him.

But the words died in her throat as he balanced himself above her, one hand on the back of the armchair, next to her head, the other pulling her to the edge of the armchair. Her back curled, slightly, as she slid down and his knees settled on either side of her hips. She realised how he wanted to take her and hooked her hands underneath her knees, holding her legs up and spread open for him.

He hissed at the sight of her, eager and wet for him, and dropped his hand to wrap around his length again, pumping it twice before he guided himself between her folds.

Elara let out a small cry when he pushed the tip in.

"Fuck -" he rasped and it was music to her ears. "Fuck - I can't get  _ enough -" _

And then, he plunged into her, filling her up in an instant, stretching her so wide she felt she would tear.

Steadying himself with his hand on the top of the armchair, Draco stilled inside her and his eyes fell shut as he took in the feeling.

Elara felt her abdomen contract as Draco pulled out of her, tantalisingly slow and then pushed back into her, making sure she felt every inch.

He met her eyes as he moved back and Elara nearly orgasmed at the sight.

"I'm not going to be gentle," he warned, the tip brushing against her clit, making her buck her hips.

"Who asked you to be?" she breathed, the overwhelming sensations making her brain fuzzy.

He clenched his jaw and was then slamming into her, making a scream rip from her throat and her eyes sting with pleasure and pain.

" _ Shit -"  _ His eyes fell shut, hips snapping against hers.

Through her haze, Elara had the insight to mumble a  _ Muffliato,  _ already feeling sorry for the people in the suites next to them.

But when Draco buried himself to the hilt within her again, her mind slipped to some unknown space and stopped thinking, only focusing on the way he felt driving in and out of her.

She struggled to keep holding her legs up and nearly sobbed with euphoria when he filled her again, so deep she could feel it in her stomach.

He had said he wouldn't be gentle and he was staying true to that promise, ramming into her with such force even the armchair scooted back an inch or two.

His hand curled around her throat, squeezing, and she gasped, eyes locking on his as he led her closer and closer to her second orgasm of the night.

It wouldn't take much longer - she could feel it in her core from when she'd been touching herself - and Draco seemed to realise, rings biting into her skin, pants and groans leaving his lips as he fucked her into the armchair.

And then - and  _ then - _

A gruff voice at the door. "Room service!"

Elara's heart thudded to a stop.

_ The apple pie. _

She dropped her hands from behind her knees, letting her legs fall, pressing her hands against Draco's hard abdomen to get him to pull out of her but the breath caught in her throat when he grabbed her hands and forced her back, leaning more heavily onto her.

"Draco -" she gasped, trying to be quiet but then he was pistoning in and out of her again, seemingly unbothered by the fact that someone was right outside their door, waiting for them to open it. "Draco -"

"No," he growled, picking up his pace again, hips battering against hers. Elara cried out, clamping a hand down over her mouth but he pried it away, easily. "He can't hear us."

She remembered the Muffliato she had cast.

"We have to -" She moaned as he thrust back into her, filling her in the best way possible. "Shit,  _ shit -  _ we have to open the door."

"Sir? Madam?" the poor man called from behind the door. "Are you in there? I have your apple pie."

"I'm not stopping," Draco ground out, pounding into her even harder, his fingers moving to pinch her nipple hard. She gasped, her back arching and he slid back into her, deftly, at the movement. "I'm not fucking stopping until you come."

Elara's heart thrashed in her chest and she was barely able to form a coherent thought as he buried himself inside her, pulling out halfway before pushing back in, one hand still gripping her throat.

"I'm going to assume you're not here right now and I'm going to use my keycard to come in, alright?" The hotel employee was trying to make sure no one was in the room before he entered - he couldn't even  _ hear  _ them.

"Draco -" She was mortified at the thought of being walked in on but Draco paid no heed, continuing to coax her closer to the edge. "Draco,  _ please -" _

She didn't know what she was begging for - a release or for him to stop. Possibly both.

"Come on, Elara," he rasped, his pubic bone settling against her clit as he thrust into her again, grabbing her legs and hoisting them up again, draping one over the armrest, the other held up by his free hand. "Come for me."

Elara's head spun as her stomach knotted and she let out a wail when his hand moved from her throat to give her clit a sharp slap and then rub it, vigorously.

"I'm coming in!" The man outside was completely oblivious to what was going on right inside the door.

_ "Now,"  _ Draco grunted and Elara shattered in his arms, spiralling out of control, gasps falling from her lips, her vision flashing white.

Draco gave her no time to ride it out, instead sweeping her into his arms and crossing over to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it just as the sensor beeped and the front door pushed open.

Elara convulsed around him, her muscles still contracting and Draco groaned at the feeling, setting her down on the floor before sliding out of her.

They heard the employee enter the room, humming to himself, heard the trolley rattle as he pushed it in. He'd have to take away the one that he'd brought their main courses in on as well.

Draco whirled her around, not even caring that there was someone only a few  _ metres  _ away on the opposite side of the door and Elara desperately hoped the room didn't smell like sex.

But when Draco entered her again, pounding out a rhythm against her ass, in an effort to finally reach his own orgasm, everything slipped out of her mind and her head fell forward as she tried desperately to catch her breath.

She clenched around him, straightening to press her back against his chest and slipped one hand up and around his neck as he dipped to kiss her under her jaw.

The position they'd been in on the armchair hadn't allowed them to get close enough to kiss and Elara missed the feeling of his lips on her skin already.

"Such a -  _ slut  _ -" he bit out against her damp skin, panting as he shifted back into her. "Letting me fuck you while someone else is  _ just  _ outside the door."

Elara sank back into him and he held her up, squeezing her hip with one hand, the other sliding up to knead at her chest.

"The things I want to do to you," he growled against her, nipping at her ear as he pistoned in and out of her, his thrusts getting sloppy as he approached his high. "One day, I'm going to  _ \- fuck -  _ I'm going to tie you up and fuck you on every piece of furniture I can find."

Elara's head tipped back against his shoulder, eyes shutting. "Doesn't sound very -  _ satisfying." _

She said it on purpose, although she knew it'd probably be the best night of her life and he let out a growl, slamming into her, repeatedly.

"Oh - fuck!" Elara exclaimed as his hand moved to twist the sensitive bud of her breast between his fingers, rings cold.

"Don't fucking act like that isn't  _ exactly  _ what you want," he rasped and stilled inside of her for a moment. Then, he pulled out of her, causing her to almost collapse, her legs weak and trembling. "On your knees."

Her lips parted as she met his eyes in the mirror and a muscle in his jaw twitched. "I said - on your  _ fucking  _ knees."

He twisted her around with one hand and grabbed ahold of her hair, forcing her down onto her knees with a shove and the breath left her lungs as she sank down, her core tingling.

Merlin, was this man  _ hot. _

Draco's hand pumped up and down his length and she opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out, and he moaned at the sight, one hand still fisted in her hair. "Good girl. You'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?"

_ More than you know. _

His hand jerked over himself, once, twice, thrice and then he was shifting his hips forward, his tip barely brushing her tongue before he came into her mouth, groaning and panting as he did so.

The sounds were nothing short of erotic and Elara fizzled with pleasure as he coaxed himself through his high, releasing onto her tongue, his head tipped back in pleasure, his eyes falling shut, abs contracting.

Elara knew she'd think of him like this whenever she was alone in her bed, trying to pleasure herself.

"Good girl," he praised, breathlessly, as she swallowed and then he was hauling her to feet, his chest heaving. "Fuck, that was probably the best sex I've ever had."

Elara giggled, burying her face in his neck as he fixed her bra over her breasts, brushing over the peaks one last time.

"Uh... I've left the apple pie on the table."

Elara's head jerked up, her eyes widening as her mouth fell open and Draco's eyebrows raised, a smile spreading across his face, his damp hair sticking to his forehead.

The Muffliato only worked to prevent people hearing from outside of the room.

"No, no, no, no," Elara groaned, burying her face in her hands as the front door opened and shut. "This is all your fault!"

Draco was infuriatingly unbothered and only raised her face from her hands to kiss her. "He probably enjoyed it."

Mortified and her face on fire, Elara whacked him. "I fucking  _ hate  _ you. If you'd just stopped when I told you to -"

Draco rolled his eyes, running his finger through his damp hair and pinching her hip. "Then you wouldn't have finished. And that is  _ not  _ something I'd ever allow."

She glared at him, smacking his hands away from her. "You could've waited - oh,  _ whatever." _ She exhaled in exasperation, although she wasn't really angry - just embarrassed beyond belief. She'd never be able to come back to this hotel. "I'm going to shower."

She moved towards it but was stopped as Draco caught her arm, tugging her back.

He clicked his tongue at her and made a disapproving sound as he looked down at her, one hand moving down to grip her ass and press her closer. "If I recall correctly, I promised you seven." He raised an eyebrow at her, pink lips quirking upwards into a slow, lazy smirk. "And if my math is correct - that means there's still five to go."

Elara's heart slowed to a stop.

_ Five? Merlin's Beard - _

"Still think I'm not  _ hard-working  _ and  _ ambitious?"  _ Draco asked, hands languidly coasting down to grip her thighs, making shivers run through her body despite herself. She felt her core slowly come back to life when his fingers dipped between her thighs.

Maybe death by dick wasn't such a bad idea.

  
  



	47. forty seven

"YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED."

Elara looked up from where she was invested in a particularly difficult Ancient Runes problem. "I am."

Freya took the seat opposite her, plopping her own books down on the table. "Don't tell me you were up all night studying?"

"I was," Elara sighed in response, running a tired hand over her face. "I can't get more than an hour of sleep when we're in exam season."

Freya looked sympathetic. "I know Mum and Dad are especially harsh on you - but you know they love you, right?"

"Could've fooled me," Elara muttered under her breath, looking back down at her parchment. "How are  _ your  _ exams going so far?"

"Good," Freya answered, her golden hair gleaming underneath the library lights. "Divination was difficult - but I'm pretty sure I aced Potions and Charms so far. I've got Transfiguration tomorrow."

"You'll do great."

"So will you. Do you need help on that problem?"

Draco walked in a while later, a book tucked under his arm, loosening his tie around his neck, fingers freezing as he passed the aisle Elara and Freya were situated in.

Elara's breath caught in her throat as she glanced up, her eyes flicking to Freya who still had her head bent over her book, muttering spells to herself, before meeting Draco's.

He gave her a lazy grin, rings glinting as his fingers moved to loosen his tie again. Behind him, Pansy, Millicent Bulstrode and Theo came to a stop, arguing over something to do with Herbology.

Draco swiveled into Elara's aisle and set his book down on the table next to theirs, behind Freya. His friends followed, all taking seats around the table.

He made sure to face her.

Elara's pulse picked up and she forced herself to look back down at her book, trying desperately not to smile. She'd been with him last night in his room - they had studied some and then she'd gotten - distracted. He'd wasted no time in laying her on the bed and making her moan underneath his tongue.

She risked another glance, caught him looking at her already, obviously thinking of the same memory she was. He threw an arm over the back of his chair, his tongue in his cheek, as he raised an eyebrow at her.

She wanted nothing more than to stalk over, straddle his lap and run her fingers through his hair.

"You okay?" Freya inquired, looking up, her quill halting from the scratching it had been doing on the parchment.

"Fine," Elara responded, focusing back on her books. "Can you help me with this one too?"

It was only half an hour later when Millicent made her first move. The whole school knew Millie Bulstrode had a crush on Draco Malfoy - and that she would do anything to get him.

But Elara hadn't expected the bold Slytherin girl to slide her hand under the table and palm Draco from over his pants.

Her temper flared, her teeth immediately clenching together. The only reason she could see it was because Theo and Pansy were situated some distance apart, having gotten into an argument ten minutes earlier, and were stubbornly working silently, their backs to Elara, their chairs apart.

So she had a clear view of Draco and Millicent under the table and when Millicent squeezed her perfectly manicured hand over him, Elara nearly combusted.

But then Draco's fingers were wrapping around the his friend's wrist and shoving her away. Elara knew his grip was tight enough to bruise.

Millicent didn't look deterred; Elara presumed she thought he was playing hard to get. She whispered something in his ear and tried to move her hand back to where it had been but Draco's grip didn't loosen on her wrist, a muscle in his jaw twitching, obviously trying not to make a scene in front of Madam Pince who was browsing in the aisle behind Elara.

Elara bristled, the jealousy rising in her like a wave. She pushed herself to her feet and muttered something about finding a book to Freya before she stormed away from the table, the image of Millicent touching  _ her  _ man burned into her mind's eye.

_ How dare she - _

Could she even be mad? It wasn't like Millicent knew her and Draco were -

_ Were what? _

Did he even mind? They'd never talked about exclusivity per se. Maybe he wanted more than one -

_ She'd kill him if he did. _

Could she? Was it justified?

_ He took you to the fucking Ritz and made you promise never to stop loving him. Of course, it's - _

"I don't like that look on your face."

Elara froze, coming back to reality, realising she suddenly had a book in her hands in some deserted aisle of the library.

Draco's tone was calm as he sauntered towards her, hands in his pockets, looking the complete opposite of what Elara was feeling. The rage bubbled in her chest - but not at him.

"She - " She kept her voice quiet but it wavered with anger. "She fucking - "

"Mmm," Draco hummed, coming to a stop in front of her and looking down at her. "She did. She's awful, really. You'd think she'd know how to feel a guy up - considering that she's had her fair share of men in her bed. She doesn't apply enough pressure."

Elara glared at him, his words doing nothing to soothe her fury and only instigating it. "Oh? Is that what you wanted her to do? Apply more - "

The smirk on Draco's face grew and she made to slap him but his hands gripped Elara's hips, yanking her closer, crushing her to him. The book in Elara's hands slammed shut and wedged between them at the movement and Elara let out a gasp, still glaring at him.

"Let me go," she hissed, unable to get the image of Millicent whispering in his ear and palming him, a smirk on her wretched face.

He was  _ hers. _

Draco clicked his tongue as she struggled to get out of his grasp and plucked the book out of her hand, easily, pushing it into a random slot on the shelf before backing her up against it, one hand going to rest on it behind her, the other still holding her in place.

Then, it slid from her hip to grasp her own and move it over his trousers, pressing her hand over his length. Elara's breath hitched in her throat, her heartrate slowing. He wasn't even hard.

"Feel that?" he murmured in her ear before his hand tightened over hers, pressing her firmer against him. "You're the only one who can turn me on, Elara."

She shivered at the sound of his voice and he pressed a kiss below her ear, hissing when she squeezed her hand around him, getting harder by the second. "Don't you dare fucking doubt yourself," he whispered, tugging on her earlobe with his teeth before he left open-mouthed kisses down her neck. "It's only you."

Elara's fury simmered and she moved her hands to his shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of his trousers and slipping her hand in, grasping his length in her hand.

His teeth sunk into her skin as he tried to muffle a moan when she twisted her hand over him, well-aware that her sister and his friends were on the opposite side of the library.

"Elara, not here - " Draco ground out but made no move to stop her as she jerked her hand over him, his skin silky against her fingers.  _ "Fuck,  _ keep going."

He pulled away from her, leaning heavily on his arm that was propped up against the bookshelf next to her head, the other hand coming up to knot in her hair so he could kiss her full on the mouth, letting out a breathy gasp when she tightened her grip around him and dragged her thumb over the tip.

"I want you in my mouth," Elara purred, biting down on his lip hard. "And inside me."

Draco's head tipped back, his eyelids falling shut, as she increased her pace, her hand twisting, deftly.

"Yeah?" he panted, trying his best to be quiet. His teeth sank into his lower lip and he brought his head back down, his eyes glazed over with pleasure. "I'll take you right here, right now, Elara. I don't give a fuck who hears us."

"Mmm." She kissed up his throat, found the spot beneath his jaw and nipped at it, making his hand tighten in her hair. She remembered the way he'd pressed Christina Yu against a table in this very library, the way Millicent had touched him  _ so  _ confidently.

Draco's hips jerked as she ran her thumb over the tip once more, slowing her pace for a few moments to drag her hand up and down him, agonisingly slow. He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, his chest heaving with the effort of being quiet, and dropped his forehead to hers, his eyes shutting again.

"Did you like it?" she said, lazily, ducking her head to kiss his neck again, knowing it would only take him over the edge faster. "Did you like it when she touched you?"

She didn't know where the newfound bravery was coming from - probably from the anger she'd felt a few moments ago. She was going to  _ enjoy  _ this.

Draco spasmed in her hand, hissing when she stopped her movements and his eyes snapped open, hand sliding to her throat, trying to seize control like he usually did. "Don't  _ fucking  _ stop - "

Elara was unbothered, looking up at him with an almost bored look, even though watching him come undone in an aisle in the libary was making her core tighten. "I asked you a question."

Draco's eyes widened, slightly, at her tone, the roles reversed, and a lock of his hair fell over his forehead when she squeezed her hand around him. "No -  _ fuck, no -  _ of course not."

"Promise?" She looked up at him with big doe eyes and he twitched in her hand again at the sight. She began to twist her wrist again, still tantalisingly slow.

"I swear to fucking  _ Salazar -  _ " He groaned low in his throat, pants falling from his lips, as she pumped him up and down, vigorously, knowing he was close. "Fuck, Elara, I'm going to - "

Satisfied, Elara pulled her hand away from him - just before he reached his high - and he let out a gasp at the deprivation, nearly falling on top of her and using his free hand to join the one on the bookshelf behind her and stable himself.

"Cute." She smirked at him and zipped his trousers up again, doing the button with nimble fingers. "Unfortunately, we'll have to take a rain check on this one. I've got  _ so  _ much work to do."

With that, she slid out from under him, leaving a chaste kiss on his mouth, enjoying the look of absolute shock on his face, still panting for breath.

"Did you just - " he rasped as she backed away from him, a smile on her face. "Did you just  _ edge  _ me?"

Elara looked at him, innocently. "Maybe Millie can help you out with that, hmm? Just tell her to apply more  _ pressure." _

She left him standing alone in the aisle, oddly triumphant.

|

"I'm so glad you agreed to come back to Quidditch," Indigo gushed as they stood in the Changing Rooms, sliding into playing gear. "Allison was great but she's not as bold as you are."

Elara gave her friend a smile, folding her robes, neatly and sliding them into a cubicle. "I just hope I don't get hit by a Bludger in the first minute. It's been a while since I've been up in the air."

"You'll be fine," Cho piped up from the corner where she was tying her hair into a tight knot. "Plus, Stuart wouldn't let anything hit you."

Elara knew they'd be up for a tough match today - this was the semi-final - and although the Slytherin team wasn't half as dangerous as they were when Draco was playing, they'd still put up a fight.

"Right." Their captain, Roger Davies, stood tall outside the Changing Rooms, arms crossed over his chest. "We've got some bad news."

He waited as the team assembled around him, Stuart squeezing in between Elara and Cho and giving them both a small smile.

"What's up?" Keith - Roger's younger brother and a Beater alongside Stuart - asked, propping his broom up on the wall next to him.

Roger looked barely contained, his fists clenching and unclenching, repeatedly. "So - Flint has just informed Madam Hooch that - that  _ Malfoy  _ will be playing today."

Elara's stomach curled as the rest of the team hushed in horror. If Draco was playing, that almost tripled the chances of Slytherin winning and going through to face Gryffindor in the final.

"Oh, shit," Indigo groaned under her breath. "I'm in for a treat."

Roger gave her a look. "You'll need to be on top of your game, Indi. You know how Malfoy is."

Elara bit back the smile, despite herself. She was  _ definitely  _ competitive and would try her best to thwart Draco - even if she did love him with every single fibre of her.

She remembered his face this morning in the library as she left him in the aisle, frustrated and deprived.

She couldn't wait till she got him alone.

"I'll definitely be having a word with Flint after this," Roger said, sternly. "I can't believe Madam Hooch can even allow such a last minute change but it can't be helped now. So let's go out there and whoop some Slytherin arse, hmm? What do you say?"

The weather was warm, the sun beating down on them and Elara tried to keep the thought that she had an Ancient Runes exam tomorrow out of her mind.

This would be the last Quidditch match of the year and she wanted to savour it.

But as the Ravenclaw team came to a stop in front of the Slytherin one and her eyes immediately landed on Draco's tall frame, looking  _ exceptionally  _ drool-worthy in Quidditch uniform, all thoughts of the game evaporated from her head.

He met her eyes, gave her a slow smirk. She dragged her eyes away.

Being up in the air was an exhilarating feeling - one that she'd missed - and she wondered why she'd ever quit.

But then, the game was in full swing and she forced thoughts of Draco and exams to the back of her mind and dove for the Quaffle.

When Slytherin scored a goal not even three minutes later, Draco pulled his broom to a stop beside Elara and smirked at her.

"Not the best today, are we?" he taunted, raising his eyebrows at her, raising his voice to be heard over the roar of the crowd. The wind breezed through his hair.

"Shut it!" Elara yelled back, her eyes fixing on a Bludger that Stuart had sent spiralling towards Draco's back. "Try not to fall off your broom!"

With that, she dove down just as Draco realised and swerved to the side, the Bludger knocking against his shoulder. She heard him grunt and curse and sent him a grin, zipping away on her broom.

It was towards the end of the game when it happened - Slytherin and Ravenclaw were both tied.

Elara had quickly found her rhythm, dipping and weaving in between the Slytherin team, the Quaffle tucked under her arm.

She caught sight of Draco, nimble on his broom, as he disappeared behind the stands, Indigo hot on his trail.

Elara ducked below a Bludger, twisted around Blaise who gave her a nasty look and dipped low to her broom, honing in on Miles Bletchley, the Slytherin keeper.

He'd seen her coming and narrowed his eyes at her, bracing himself and Elara knew that although bulky, he was quick.

She gritted her teeth, trying to find the best way to get the Quaffle through the hoop in the next one minute.

"Jacobs!" It was Fiona, the other Ravenclaw Chaser, on her heels. "What's the call?"

"Seven!" Elara called back and saw Fiona's eyes widen for a second before she nodded. Elara passed the Quaffle to her and zipped straight upwards into the sky.

She saw Roger get hit by a Bludger, saw Stuart rush to help him and focused back on the sky above her as she accelerated upwards, knowing Fiona would be zooming towards the hoops.

That was when Draco and Indigo appeared into view, a little way above her. Draco's hand was outstretched for the Snitch.

Elara's heart immediately sank. Slytherin would win if he caught it - but she had to get the Quaffle from Fiona and score a goal.

But the  _ Snitch - _

Elara made a quick decision and honed in on Draco, bracing herself for the collision.

It still ripped the breath from her lungs when it happened. She collided with his hard shoulder and Draco was shoved to the side, his fingers grazing the Snitch but not enough to close around it.

It zipped away, disappearing into the clouds, and Indigo went after it, sparing Elara only a fleeting glance to see if she was okay as her and Draco tumbled through the air.

"Fucking hell, Jacobs!" he yelled and Elara tried to reorient herself. She almost slid off her broom but Draco's hand grasped onto her arm, righting her. "Is this game really worth your  _ life?" _

"I play to win, Malfoy!" she retorted, already diving back down, having successfully thwarted him. "Or I don't play at all!"

She hissed under her breath when she saw Fiona had lost the Quaffle and it was under the arm of Adrian Pucey, heading straight for the Ravenclaw hoops.

Roger intercepted it and there was a fight over it before Adrian broke away with a shout, a Bludger by Keith having rammed into his back.

Roger sped towards Elara, far below her and glanced up at her, holding up the number seven.

She nodded and braced herself against the broom, watching as he dodged a Bludger by Zabini and slammed his shoulder into Flint so hard, the Slytherin captain faltered.

Roger raised his hand, still a good distance from the goal, the Quaffle held high and Elara recognised the cue and dived straight downwards, her stomach plummeting as she careened towards her captain.

Miles was focused on Roger's hand to try and best gauge where he would aim and didn't realise what the real plan was.

Roger reared back his hand and suddenly, the Quaffle was gone, snatched from his hands by Elara's deft fingers and she spun one eighty degrees on her broom and took a quick shot at the left most hoop.

It soared in, Miles too slow to intercept, surprise written all over his face.

Elara grinned at Roger as the stands howled, Ravenclaws stomping their feet and clapping.

She caught Draco's eye from where he'd stilled high above her. He raised his eyebrows at her, looking impressed at her maneuver.

She winked at him and zoomed back towards Cho.

Elara had been about to score another goal a few minutes later when the Bludger rammed into her.

She gasped, the force making her vision go black, and desperately tried to steady herself on her broom. Her lungs heaved for breath, the sharp pain in her back causing the broom to slip from beneath her shaking fingers and she found herself plummeting below, her vision dark.

The last thing she heard was: "And Malfoy's got the Snitch! Slytherin wins!"

|

"That'll teach you not to go on suicide missions to stop me."

Elara groaned as she heard Draco push off the wall outside the infirmary as she walked out, her spine aching from where the Bludger had rammed into her.

Her friends had already been to see her and had been shooed out by Madam Pomfrey a short while later. The nurse gave Elara a Soothing Draught and told her to lay down for another half hour before she could leave.

"Come here to gloat, have you?" Elara grumbled, one hand pressing into her back as he strolled over to her, his lips turned up in a self-assured smirk. Her ego was still bruised from the loss of the game - especially when she'd done  _ so  _ much to try and win.

She scowled at him as he approached her in the empty corridor. "I don't really need to," Draco countered, easily, still looking smug. "You look like you're taking the loss hard."

"I  _ will _ kill you," she warned him, wincing slightly as she craned her neck to look up at him. "Fuck, who was it?"

"Blaise." Draco's eyes darkened as she hissed in pain. "First match back from almost a  _ year  _ of not playing and I  _ still  _ won. You should be ashamed, Jacobs."

"Oh, shut up." She secretly envied his skill in Quidditch, remembering the way he'd dodged Bludgers and weaved through the players, as if he'd been doing it his whole life. He had been quick and graceful, as well as strategically skillful.

Ravenclaw hadn't stood a chance.

"Give me your hand." He noticed the expression of pain on her face.

"No," Elara protested, ignoring his outstretched palm. "If someone sees us -"

He dropped his arm back to his side, his eyes dimming. She knew what he was thinking.

_ I'm sorry I'm the fucking son of Lucius Malfoy. _

She hadn't meant it like that - had only meant that they'd been keeping each other a secret and couldn't risk being seen together, especially with the whole fiasco with the DA.

But the way Draco's jaw clenched as he looked away made her soften and she reached for him to pull him down for a quick kiss, her spine aching as she did so.

His lips made up for it though and he kissed her back, smelling like he'd just freshly showered and she wanted nothing more than to have him hold her forever.

"Can I come to your room tonight?" she murmured as his hands supported her back when she pulled away, easing some of the strain.

"You're asking?" he replied, watching her carefully as she stepped back.

She gave him a smile and his gaze dropped to her lips again, his features softening.

"Eleven?"

He nodded, giving her a small smile as she backed away. "Don't be late."

|

"Bad luck, El."

Tracy gave her a sympathetic smile as Elara entered the Ravenclaw common room, having argued with the Eagle Knocker to let her in, too tired to solve the riddle it had presented her.

Eventually, Luna had heard her and come to the door, helping her in.

"You did play marvellously though," Luna told Elara as she aided her into the middle of the room so she could collapse on the armchair in front of the fireplace. "Amelia and I were in awe."

"You were with -" Elara sighed as she sunk down into the armchair. "You were with Amelia?"

Luna nodded, taking a seat next to Tracy on the sofa. "She asked me to take Lucy and her to the game. They're so sweet. You know they've been hanging around the Thestrals?"

"Amelia mentioned they were trying to get them to cry," Tracy nodded, giving Elara a sympathetic look as she flinched when she shifted on the chair, pain shooting up her spine. "Do you want something to drink, El?"

"I'm alright, thanks," Elara responded, letting her eyes fall shut.

|

"Well, I certainly didn't think  _ I'd  _ be the one to break her back, Draco."

Elara stepped in to Draco's room just in time to see the tall, blond Slytherin ram his fist into Blaise's face, the dark-skinned boy's face already bloodied, although he smiled through the pain.

Draco's knuckles were smeared with Blaise's blood, the muscles in his back underneath his shirt tense.

"Enough," groaned Pansy from where she was settled on one of the armchairs, popping toffees into her mouth. "You two have been going at it for ages."

"Can you blame him?" Blaise laughed, raising a hand to his lip as Draco took a step back, silver eyes almost murderous. "I hurt his poor little girlfriend - oh, she's here."

They all turned to face her and Pansy jumped to her feet, rushing over to wrap an arm around Elara's shoulders and help her to the bed as Draco studied his bruised knuckles.

"It's a game, mate -" Blaise started, wiping off some blood from his lip and trying to staunch the bleeding in his nose.

"Do it again and I'll make sure you lose at least six of your teeth, Zabini." Draco's voice was low, deadly.

"Salazar, he's touchy." Blaise rolled his eyes and gave Draco a pat on his shoulder, seemingly unperturbed by the punches he'd been dealt to the face. "I'll come see you when you've calmed down."

With that, he stalked out, Pansy following close behind, muttering about how she'd have to clean him up.

Elara was so exhausted, she could barely get one sentence out. "You can't beat him up just because -"

"I can. He knows I can." Draco was dropping to a crouch in front of where she was sitting on the bed. "Is it any better?"

She marveled at how he could switch from being dangerous and deadly, pummeling his fist into his best friend's face one second, looking at her with concerned eyes the next.

She nodded. "Much. I can walk now without feeling like I'm in agony."

"Good." He helped her swing her legs onto the bed and then straightened, moving towards the trolley where the Firewhiskey was kept. "I told Blaise to stay away from you at the beginning of the game."

Elara gaped at him as she settled back against the pillows, reaching behind her to prop one up under her back. "Draco, that's  _ so  _ unreasonable -"

"I don't let anyone touch what's mine." His voice was deadly and edged. "And I definitely don't allow

anyone to  _ hurt  _ what's mine."

"It's a _game,_ you dramatic prat," Elara shot back, watching as he poured them both some Firewhiskey. "It's literally the definition of his job."

Draco shrugged, approaching her again and sitting at the foot of the bed, handing her a glass. "Then he should get a new job. One that doesn't involve knocking you off your fucking broom. If Banks hadn't caught you..."

"He did," Elara reminded him, raising an eyebrow before tipping the alcohol back, feeling the familiar burn that made her buzz, numbing her pain for a bit. "Ah, that feels good."

"More?" Draco asked, reaching for her glass but she shook her head, stifling a yawn. "Alright, lay down then."

Elara slid further down the pillows, her eyelids heavy, muscles aching. "Mmm... Can you change me into - one of your shirts?"

She felt him still from where he'd begun to move off the bed and felt his lips graze her forehead a short moment later.

She heard him go over to the dresser, heard the rustle of clothes and then he was coming back, the bed dipping as he settled at the foot again.

Elara shivered as his large hands glided up her bare legs, rubbing up and down her thighs, rings cold. It made her insides warm.

Then, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down and Elara felt her nerves tingle despite herself.

But he made no move to touch her, instead reaching for her shirt and peeling it off of her, helping her lift her back off the bed and raise her arms so that he could slide it off her.

Then, he helped her into one of his own and she hummed in satisfaction as the soft material slipped over her head, smelling like green apples and parchment. Draco's hands were gentle as he pulled it down to her thighs and then slid the hair tie off her wrist, getting behind her to bundle her hair up into a loose ponytail, knowing she liked to sleep with it tied.

"I love you," she mumbled, her eyes finally falling shut as his hands dropped to her shoulders, kneading the muscles there before he guided her back down onto the bed, settling over her. "So much."

His hand stilled from where he'd been raising it to brush against her cheek. "Get some rest."

She frowned at his voice, something not sitting right with her, and forced her eyes open to look at him.

He was gazing down at her, his eyes filled with - dread and regret, his mouth taut. It made Elara's heart thud to a stop, her mind suddenly racing.

"What - What's wrong?" She reached for him, winced at the effort. He forced her arms back down, cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Nothing. Now, sleep. You need it."

"No - I want to know what's wrong." She had expected him to be happy to see her but he just looked like he wished she'd never came. "If you want me to leave -"

"No - what?" Draco shook his head at her, nudging her back down as she tried to prop herself onto her elbows. "Elara -  _ please  _ \- just sleep -"

"Tell me," she told him, stubbornly, meeting his eyes. "What did I do?"

Draco searched her face before shaking his head again and blowing out a breath. "Can you just shut up and rest?"

He sounded irritated and Elara's eyebrows furrowed, feeling herself get agitated. It had been a long day - why was he being so  _ difficult? _

"I can't be with you if you don't communicate."

Draco's jaw tightened and he moved off her, shifting to sit on the edge of his side of the bed. "Then don't. I'm not trying to argue, Elara."

His voice was cold.

"I just want to know what's -" She sighed in exasperation. "Fine. Whatever."

If he wouldn't communicate, neither would she.

Elara tried to turn over and hissed under her breath at the steady ache in her lower back, her eyes stinging with the pain.

Immediately, Draco was behind her, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her to him, gently.

The breath caught in her throat when he buried his head in her neck, leaving a kiss there, the pressure of his hard stomach against her back easing some of the pain. "Can we just - sleep? Please. I need you right now."

She knew he didn't mean in the sexual way and felt her resolve weaken, her hands coming up to grip onto his forearms around her. "Are you okay?" she whispered, letting one hand move to trace over his dragon ring.

"Fine," he mumbled back, sounding tired beyond belief. She knew it had been a long day for him too, wondered if his shoulder ached from where Stuart had hit him with a Bludger. "Although I don't appreciate being edged first thing in the morning."

Elara couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, her previous annoyance evaporating when he peppered kisses along her jaw, one large hand moving to grip her chin and turn her head so he could kiss her on the mouth.

"Don't think you're off the hook," he breathed, pulling back a inch to look at her. "I'll take my revenge soon."

"You can take me whenever you like," she teased, melting back into him, her eyes closing again as his warmth seeped into her. "Oh, shit -" Her eyes opened again. "I have an  _ exam  _ tomorrow."

"Mm?"

"Ancient Runes. Fuck, I should be studying -" She struggled to get out of his grasp and sit up. "Can you help me get to the library?"

Draco only tightened his arms around her. "Elara, you're not going  _ anywhere.  _ Shut up and get some rest. We can study in the morning."

"But I'll fail - and then my parents will scold me and I'll end up in Beauxbatons," she groaned, too worn out to even form a proper argument.

"I'll take you to the library in the morning," he answered, softly, lips brushing her jaw. "But right now - sleep."

_ I need you right now. _

Elara nodded, suddenly willing to fail tomorrow's exam - if he needed her tonight.

She fell asleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes, wrapped up in strong arms, warm lips, green apples and parchment.

  
  



	48. forty eight

"ELLIE!"

Elara turned from where she was browsing the aisle for an Astronomy book that could help her with drawing constellations and blinked when she saw Amelia waving, vigorously, at her from a table at the end of the empty aisle, next to the huge arched window of stained glass.

Her heart thudded when she spotted a familiar, white-blond head opposite her little sister, his back to Elara.

_ Merlin. _

He hadn't accepted the money from her that day and she knew he  _ certainly  _ wouldn't accept it now but she still made a mental note to try and slip it into his room without him knowing.

She clutched the book to her chest and slowly walked over to their table, keeping herself in check.

Draco had been distant the past one week - the day of the Quidditch match had been the last time Elara had been in his room - but she didn't blame him, knowing that they were both swamped with work as the exams dragged on.

She'd snogged him a few times in dark alcoves and in empty classrooms but they'd both been too tired to ever have sex, the weight of their exams resting heavily on both their shoulders.

He was quieter too, talked less, flirted less, no longer met her eyes for long before he looked away, even though he'd give her a small smile every now and then. It was the only thing, along with the ferocity that he kissed her back with whenever they were alone, that showed that he still wanted her.

Usually, she would've asked him if he was alright, would've tried to extract information from him - but ever since he had opened up about his mother, she'd been cautious about pressing him to for more. She knew he was still healing.

So she let him kiss her for a few minutes and press her against doors but he never asked her to come to his room - they both simply had no time.

But she was hopeful that when summer came, maybe they'd be able to meet somewhere - Diagon Alley perhaps - and make up for all the time they were spending apart now. She almost trembled at the thought of spending the summer with Draco. If she did well in her exams, her parents would let her call him over and they could have dinners together and they'd go on long, midnight walks and have picnics in the warm afternoons and then fall into bed together -

"I thought I told you to ask me." Elara gave Amelia a stern look, avoiding Draco's gaze and her sister pouted, putting her quill down.

"You were busy," Amelia protested, her dark hair wild and frizzy around her face. "I didn't want to bother you."

"He's taking more subjects than I am," Elara told her, scolding her gently as she tipped her head towards Draco who was slumped in his seat, his arms crossed over his chest.

"She's lying," he offered, unhelpfully, looking at Amelia.

"I am  _ not!"  _ Elara shot back, giving him a glare. "He is."

"Well, he said he could help," Amelia said, giving Elara the biggest puppy dog eyes. "Don't be angry! I have a Charms exam tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to remember the proper pronunciation for Wingardiosa Leviosum!"

"Wingardium Leviosa," Draco corrected, stifling a smile, slender fingers tapping on his bicep.

"See?" Amelia wailed and Elara shot him a look, sinking into the chair on the right side of the table, Draco at the head and Amelia at the tail, and taking her younger sister's hand.

"I can get Hermione to help you with that," Elara held back a smile herself, remembering the way the Gryffindor witch had scolded Ron in the first year class. "She does do pronunciations wonderfully."

"Except she's got her head too far up her -" Draco halted when Elara narrowed her eyes at him.

"Didn't you have a crush on her?" she said, coolly, raising an eyebrow.

"No way!" Amelia squealed, clamping a hand over her mouth. "Malfoy likes -  _ 'Mione?" _

Draco glared at Elara as she smirked back at him, waiting expectantly. " _ Liked.  _ Past tense."

"I knew he liked someone!" Amelia gasped, flailing her hands. "I  _ knew  _ it. He keeps daydreaming and I even told him that -"

"I do  _ not  _ daydream."

"Yes, you do," the young girl replied, stubbornly. "I told him that he should go ask her out on a -  _ date.  _ But I didn't know it was Hermione!"

Elara stifled a giggle at Draco's mortified expression, traced the letters of the engraved title on the Astronomy book she'd picked up. "But I thought you said relationships were -  _ yucky." _

Amelia huffed. "I said  _ boys  _ were yucky. But Malfoy likes a  _ girl  _ \- you know,  _ Hermione _ \- and girls are  _ great." _

Draco groaned, dropped his face into his hands. "I don't like -"

"I think it's her eyes," Amelia barged on, as if Draco had never even spoken. "They're  _ such  _ a pretty brown, you know."

"Maybe it's her hair," Elara added, helpfully, smiling slyly as Draco lifted his head to glare at her. She realised with a start that his eyes were ringed with dark circles, his skin pallid.

Her smile faded. Had he looked this tired when they'd made out in the broom closet two days ago?

"It's probably her intelligence," Amelia babbled on, giggling, picking up her quill again.

"It's none of the above," Draco drawled, sitting back in his chair and draping his arm over the back of it. "I do not have a crush on Granger - even the thought is repulsive."

"That's  _ rude -"  _ Amelia gasped, offended, reaching over to pinch his hand that was resting on the table.

He waved her away with a scowl but Amelia was unperturbed, sinking back into her seat and continuing to spout words.

"Well, if it's not 'Mione, then who is it?" she goaded, her lower lip jutting out. "Don't tell me - oh, blimey! I haven't even introduced you two, have I?"

Draco met Elara's eyes, the corner of his lips turning up. "No, I don't think you have, Amelia."

"This is Elara, my sister," Amelia said, proudly, gesturing towards her. "But I call her Ellie for short. She's my third eldest sibling - then there's Freya and Isaac -"

She halted, blinking. "But that's useless. Elara, this is Malfoy - I don't know his first name - and he's a Slytherin but don't hate him, alright? He's actually very good at teaching even though he snaps at me when I mix up my numbers in Arithmancy."

Elara's eyes stayed fixed on Draco's as he looked at her, lazily, slumped in his chair. His hair was tousled and messy, just the way she liked it.

"Nice to meet you, Malfoy," Elara said, calmly, raising an eyebrow at him.

"On the contrary," he drawled back, his tongue sliding to the corner of his lips, making her heart jump and bringing sinful memories to the front of her mind, "the pleasure is  _ all  _ mine."

Elara silently mourned over the fact that she didn't have enough time to drag him off into a deserted classroom and have him take her against the door. She realised, with a jolt, how much she missed him, hating the distance he seemed to have put between them in the last week.

"I've got to use the bathroom." Amelia was on her feet and already hurrying away, dodging Draco's hand as he tried to ruffle her hair as she passed. "I told you to stop that!"

Elara smiled and shook her head, watching her younger sister's curls bounce as she bounded away, disappearing.

A large hand reached out and grabbed the edge of her chair, right next to her thigh, and dragged her closer.

"Draco..." she warned, well-aware that they were in the library and someone could walk in at any second.

His grey eyes had already dropped to her lips as he pulled her chair to his side, his other hand coming up to rest on the side of her neck, brushing her hair away.

The touch made her tremble. How she missed him.

"Can I..." Her voice faded as he dipped his head to her neck, his mouth hot on her skin as he brushed his lips against her before moving down and to the base of her throat. He sank his teeth in and she gasped, her hand flying to wrap around his wrist resting against her collarbone, his fingers curled around the back of her neck.

His tongue ran along her skin, soothing the area he had just nipped into and Elara exhaled, shakily, tightening her grip around his waist.

"Draco -" she breathed but he didn't pull away, instead kissing up her throat to her jaw. "Someone could walk in -"

"Let them." His words vibrated against her skin and she let her eyes fall shut, enjoying the way his talented mouth dragged up the curve of her jaw, moving beneath her ear and sucking on the skin.

"Can I - Can I come to your room tonight?" Damn the exams. She needed him - desperately.

Draco stilled and left one last kiss under her ear before pulling back. He avoided her eyes. "Not tonight."

Elara's heart sank and her face flushed as he pushed her chair back to where it had been before just as Amelia came skipping back into the aisle.

"Oh, goodness," Amelia was saying, dragging Elara back to reality. Her little sister's eyes brightened. "Ellie, so I was thinking - why don't we invite Malfoy to come stay with us during the summer? Wouldn't that be cool? He can meet Mum and Dad and Mum can pay him for the lessons he's been giving me in apple pie and -"

Draco pushed to his feet, his expression shuttered. "I have to go."

Elara stared after him, her gut twisting, as he strode away, not even sparing a glance at her over his shoulder.

|

"Gryffindor versus Slytherin this weekend is going to be  _ sick." _

Elara sighed as they trudged towards the dungeon corridors, their Defence Against the Dark Arts practical exam in less than twenty minutes. "How can you even think about Quidditch right now?"

Stuart shrugged, his hand intertwined with Cho's. "I mean - it's literally two rival houses."

Elara tried to dampen the feeling of dread that was rearing its ugly head in her stomach. If she failed this practical...

"Relax, El." Tracy slid her arm through hers, giving her a squeeze. "You've got this."

"You've even beat Hermione. You're second only to Malfoy in class," Indigo reassured her with a smile.

_ That's the problem. _

She shuddered to think of what her parents might say if she came second -  _ again. _

The dungeon classroom was dim and cold despite the sunny weather outside and Elara wistfully wished she could be outside, under the hot sun by the Great Lake. She sighed and tried to calm her nerves, taking in the classroom, emptied of chairs and tables.

The rest of the students filed in, all looking as nervous as she was, but she didn't catch sight of a tall, blond Slytherin anywhere. Frowning, she scanned the crowd again. He wouldn't miss an exam, would he?

"Right." Snape's voice jolted her out of her thoughts and she turned to face the professor, standing in the middle of the empty room, looking bored and disdainful as he surveyed the students. "Since we've been practicing non-verbal spells all year, I presume you understand that this exam will test your skills on how to properly cast them in high pressure situations - such as in a duel."

He whirled, his cape billowing around him and strode to his desk at the front of the room. "I have paired you all based on your performances in class - so that you each have a fair chance. Don't even  _ think  _ of asking me to change them because I will  _ not.  _ Once your duel is over, you will leave the classroom. We will go in alphabetical order. If I hear even  _ one  _ sound from the rest of you, I  _ will _ fail you. "

The class hushed - so quiet you could hear the squeaking of someone's rat in their robes.

"Good," Snape said, monotonously. "Then let's begin."

They watched in tensed silence as the first two students met in the middle of the room.

The duels went as Elara expected them to. She knew how almost every person in this class dueled - she'd kept a close eye on them the entire year to see who her competition was.

So she wasn't surprised when Stuart won against Keith or when Winona beat Russell or any of the other pairings.

In fact, Indigo and her were secretly placing bets, whispering to each other when Snape was preoccupied with assessing performances, and Elara won all of them.

"I told you it'd be Blaise," Elara whispered as Blaise sent an Expelliarmus at Robert, a fellow Ravenclaw.

"But Robert was  _ so  _ good -"

Snape glanced over; Elara and Indigo's mouths snapped shut.

"Over. You may leave." Snape flicked his hand towards the door. "Up next, Malfoy and... Jacobs."

Elara's heart dropped into her stomach.  _ Seriously? _

"Bloody hell," muttered Indigo under her breath.

Elara felt Tracy squeeze her hand once in support and then began to make her way to the front of the crowd, heading for the empty circular space in the middle.

She'd suspected it. They  _ were _ both in the top two ranks in class.

The small circle of people bristled as no one strode forward from the crowd to face Elara.

"Malfoy's not here!" someone yelled from the crowd.

The knot in Elara's stomach twisted. If he hadn't shown up - just to fucking let her win - she'd kill him. She should have never told him about her parents.

Did he really think Snape wouldn't realise?

Just as she was about to tell Snape to postpone her duel and storm out to look for Draco and drag him here, the door opened.

Elara's eyes snapped to the door as Draco sauntered in, twirling his wand in one hand, the other in his pocket.

Her breath caught at the sight of him and she struggled to maintain her composure.

"You're late." Snape was not amused as Draco strode forward, the students parting to let him through.

"Apologies. I got caught up." Draco bowed his head, slightly, at Snape and Elara saw the DADA teacher's eyes soften.

She remembered the way Snape had rushed to heal Draco that night in the bathroom. For whatever reason, he seemed to want to help the Malfoy heir.

Elara met Draco's eyes as they both bowed.

"Ready to lose, Malfoy?" Elara raised an eyebrow at him.

He gave her a wicked grin. It was a good show - a very Malfoy thing to do.

They both straightened. "I play to win, Jacobs," he responded, smoothly, reciting what she'd said to him during the Quidditch match. "Or I don't play at all."

"Begin."

Elara took the first shot, sending an Expelliarmus his way, and Draco flicked it aside, countering with a quick succession of two spells.

She defended one, easily, dodged the other and her wand slashed through the air in three sharp movements - the way he'd taught her - sending three spells barrelling towards him.

Draco blocked one and ducked under the next two. "Where  _ ever  _ did you learn that?" he called, casting a spell straight at her feet. The sarcasm in his voice was not lost on her, even as she jumped back to dodge it.

"No talking!" Snape hissed, watching as Elara had two more successive spells spiralling towards Draco.

She could sense the crowd hushed around them in awe - none of the other participants had been able to be so quick and fluid at casting non-verbal spells and here Draco and Elara were, doing it like they'd been at it their entire life.

Elara reminded herself to thank Draco after this. Maybe with a -

_ If you keep daydreaming about my dick, this is going to be  _ way  _ too easy, Jacobs. _

Elara nearly reeled back at Draco's voice in her head and he sent a badly aimed spell at her, obviously giving her enough time to gather herself together.

_What the fuck?_ she thought, angrily. _Since when are you a_ _Legilimen_ s?

She could almost hear him scoff as he brought his wand up to defend one of her spells.

_ Since forever. Now, focus or this is going to be the easiest match of my life. _

_ Get out of my head and maybe I will. _

She felt him leave and almost gasped for breath, twirling her wand and sending a spell at his chest. He blocked it and shot two at her sternum, making her jump out of the way and defend the other.

_ Faster.  _ He was back.  _ You're too slow. _

_ I'm trying.  _ She gritted her teeth, forced herself to move as he aimed at her again.  _ Stop fucking helping me. I don't want your help. _

_ Oh? _

_ Yes. Play fair. _

She felt him retreat from her mind again - this time, for good.

He went on the offense again, taking two steps closer, twisting his shoulder away when Elara sent a particularly quick spell at him.

He retaliated with equal fervour, forcing her back a step as she dodged his onslaught but she caught him off-guard with a spell at his feet and another at his chest as she twisted to dodge his own spell.

He barely jumped out of the way, retreating a step, and she could see his jaw tense as he flicked his wand once.

She blocked the spell, easily, and then he was sending one racing towards her shoulder. She shifted out of the way, almost losing her balance, and she knew that in that one instant, Draco had more than enough time to finish her off.

But no spell came barreling towards her and she took the opportunity to spiral one at him and then another and another, regaining her footing.

Draco defended two, his jaw clenching, bicep straining against his shirt but the third caught him off-guard, ramming into his wand arm and causing his wand to fly out of his hand and slide across the floor.

It was over.

Elara was panting as she glared at Draco who didn't seem very bothered as he bent to pick up his wand, pocketing it.

"Very well. You two may go." Snape eyed them both. "Jameson and Yu!"

Elara barely spared a glance at Indigo and Tracy in the crowd as she stormed out after Draco, seizing his arm as soon as they were outside.

"What the  _ fuck  _ was that?" she hissed, her gaze murderous. "I told you to play fair!"

"I did." He had that infuriatingly calm look on his face as he looked down at her, not even looking like he'd broken a sweat.

"No. No, you did  _ not!"  _ Elara protested, furiously. "You can't just let me win because we're -"

Draco clamped a hand down over her mouth, dragged her into the empty classroom opposite the one they had just been in.

"Someone will  _ fucking  _ hear you," he hissed, the door shutting behind them. "Can you calm the fuck down? I didn't do anything."

"Exactly," Elara shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. "You had the  _ perfect  _ opportunity to disarm me in the middle of that duel and you  _ didn't." _

"I think you're overestimating my abilities, Jacobs."

She rolled her eyes. "I am  _ not.  _ I know how you duel, Draco. And you never - and I mean,  _ never -  _ slip up. So what the fuck was that?"

He seemed irritated. "Maybe I'm just not on top of my game today. Ever think of that?"

"I've trained with you for a year and you've never  _ not  _ been  _ on top of your game,"  _ she mimicked. "Fuck you, Draco. I wanted you to play fair - not fucking take pity on me and let me win."

"You're perfectly capable of winning against me on your own."

"Yes but not in  _ this  _ duel. You had me off-balance and disoriented - just like you've had me about a hundred times at the Astronomy Tower and every single time you disarmed me."

Draco groaned, tipped his head back to rest on the door. "When are you going to start giving yourself enough credit?"

She stared at him as he pushed off the door and stalked towards her, locks of his hair falling onto his forehead. "You won that duel, Elara. That's all that matters."

"Yes but you  _ let me -" _

"Stop being a fucking Ravenclaw and accept the victory," he breathed, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face from where it had loosened from her braid. "I'd thought I'd rubbed off on you and made you a little bit more ruthless."

She still gave him a glare, although his tone told her he wouldn't give in and admit he'd let her win. Deflating, she sighed and rolled her eyes, glancing away.

"All you did was rub  _ on  _ me," she muttered, aware of the innuendo. His eyebrows raised.

"Oh? Care to test that theory?" he purred, stepping closer, his hands moving to rest on her hips.

Elara gave him a sweet smile. "No."

With that, she pushed past him, heading for the door, feeling him stiffen behind her and then chuckle.

"You're really asking for a punishment, Elara." The dark tone of his voice made her shiver even as she put more distance between them.

She yanked open the door and strode out, calling over her shoulder. "Then come give it to me!"

His laugh echoed in her ears for a long time afterwards.

  
  



	49. forty nine

"OH, RON'S SAVED ANOTHER ONE!"

Tracy squealed, clapping loudly from beside Elara as they stood in the stands, watching the Quidditch match.

"He's doing brilliantly," Stuart commented, squinting to see as Ginny tucked the Quaffle under her arm and went zipping for the opposite end of the pitch. "Oh, blimey, look at her go."

Elara was barely paying attention, instead looking for the Slytherin seeker. Her heart ached when she caught sight of him, high above the pitch, weaving around a Bludger and dipping as Fred sent another at his head.

She had barely seen him all week - the exams had ended two days ago and he'd still made no move to find her or talk to her. He barely even glanced at her, the small smiles and snogging sessions reduced to no eye contact and not one conversation.

Elara supposed it was because summer was drawing closer - he was probably dreading returning to Malfoy Manor. But it still stung that he didn't want to talk to her or see her. She couldn't help wondering if he'd grown tired of her.

"Looks like this final is going to come to an end soon: Malfoy's caught sight of the Snitch!"

The crowd around Elara groaned, most of them Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, and Freya turned from below them to grin at her sister. "George's after him!" she yelled over the noise. "He won't let Slytherin win."

If Draco Malfoy was on the team, nothing would  _ stop  _ Slytherin from winning.

Draco curved through the air, white-blond hair flashing under the summer sun, his hand outstretched for the Snitch. Elara couldn't stop the smile already forming on her face.

He'd be happy they won.

But all of a sudden, Harry was colliding shoulder to shoulder, with Draco, slamming him out of the way and she saw Draco's hand curl into a fist, dropping back into his broom, the space in front of him where the Snitch had been suddenly empty.

"No - fucking -  _ way!"  _ Stuart gasped. "Harry's got it!"

The Gryffindor crowd was on their feet, roaring and stamping, causing the stands to quake. Elara's eardrums nearly burst.

"That's so unfair!"

Elara turned to see Pansy and Millicent behind them, Millicent pouting while Pansy clapped along, seemingly happy her own team had lost.

"Draco was in the lead the  _ entire  _ match," Millicent was complaining, her arms folded over her chest. "And Potter just comes in last second and grabs it!"

"What are you complaining for?" Pansy said, gleefully, noticing Elara looking and giving her a grin. "This'll take Draco down a  _ much-needed  _ peg or two."

Elara shook her head at her friend, hiding a smile and turned back to the pitch. The teams were touching ground, jumped off their brooms, and Elara watched as Draco slid off his and stormed towards the Changing Rooms.

"He looks mad," snickered Tracy.

Elara chewed on her lip and turned to follow Stuart as he began to move through the crowd, heading for the exit. "He'll probably beat himself up over this."

Stuart glanced over his shoulder at her, shoving a second year out of the way. "Know him that well, do you?"

Elara shot him a look. "If you mean  _ sexually - " _

"Please. I'm not trying to hear about your late night escapades." Stuart back-tracked immediately and Elara smirked.

"That's what I - "

"Bloody hell! Malfoy's gone at him!"

Elara whirled at the gasps of the crowd, turning to find Draco grab one of the Gryffindor team members - Elara didn't know who - by his collar and ram his fist straight into his face.

The breath left her lungs.

"Malfoy, stop!" someone called on the pitch - possibly Flint. But Draco kept going, slamming his fist into the Gryffindor's face until his victim took a swing at him.

Draco's other hand came up, gripping onto the Gryffindor's wrist - Elara realised it was Cormac McLaggen - and stopping him mid-swing before he shoved him back, causing Cormac to stumble and sprawl across the grass, his nose streaming blood.

_ No, Draco, no. _

"If you have the fucking balls, you'll fight me off the pitch, Malfoy!" Cormac yelled as Draco turned and grabbed his broom off the ground, striding away.

Elara couldn't see his expression from this distance but she knew he was livid.

And she had no doubt he'd take Cormac up on his offer.

She resisted the urge to push through the crowd and go find Draco but knew she couldn't raise the suspicions of Stuart and Tracy.

"What a sore loser," Stuart scoffed, taking both Elara's and Tracy's hand and yanking them through the crowd.

By the time they reached the castle, they could hear the Gryffindor team cheering behind them, clutching the Quidditch Cup in their hands.

Elara turned back to watch George hoist Harry onto his shoulders, sprinting down the hallway towards her, Harry clutching on for dear life with one hand, the Cup in his other, the rest of the team trailing behind.

"Did you  _ see  _ the way he caught the Snitch?" Ginny called, grinning, her face pink.

"Snitch?" Dean Thomas howled. "Did you see the way Ron blocked that goal?"

Ron flushed red, his freckles disappearing, as Hermione pushed through the small circle of people that had gathered around them and threw herself into his arms, laughing loudly.

"Ron -  _ Ron -  _ you were brilliant!" she exclaimed before pulling away. "George, put Harry down!"

She proceeded to attack Harry with a hug as soon as his feet touched the floor and Elara smiled, noticing the victory had eased some of the stress on Hermione's shoulders.

"You all played wonderfully," Hermione breathed, looking around at the other team members. "Honestly, I can't believe we won the Quidditch -"

"Pure luck, that's what it was."

Blaise broke away from where him and Draco were passing by, the latter looking like he wanted to use Cormac McLaggen as a punching bag.

Elara watched as Draco hesitated before turning and following his friend, walking slowly towards the Gryffindor team. He didn't even look in her direction.

"Shut it, Zabini," Ron retorted, one arm still around Hermione. "Just take the loss and walk away."

"Oh?" Blaise raised an eyebrow, towering over Ron as he sauntered closer. "You sure you don't want to  _ gloat  _ like your little friend did here on the pitch?" He jerked his head at Cormac who was still holding his nose, standing behind Ginny and Oliver Wood.

"Whatever Cormac said," Harry began, stepping between Ron and Blaise, "did not warrant for  _ Malfoy  _ to beat the living daylight out of him."

"Watch it, Potter." Draco stepped forward and Elara subconsciously took one too. "I won't fucking hesitate to put my fist through your face too."

Cormac stepped forward, his fingers smeared with his own blood. "All talk, aren't you, Malfoy?" he jeered and Elara shut her eyes in dread. Could he not  _ see  _ how Draco had bloodied his nose just twenty minutes ago?

"You want to go for round two, McLaggen?" Draco snarled, his hair still damp with sweat, every single muscle tense. "'Cause I don't fucking mind -"

Cormac lunged for him, barely held back by Dean and Oliver. Draco smirked.

"You're lucky they're all here," sneered Cormac, blood dripping from his nose. "Or I'd -"

"Or you'd be lying on the fucking floor with your fucking jaw shattered," Draco drawled, coolly, silver eyes flashing. It'd been a long while since she'd seen him like this: hateful and furious.

Elara didn't want to see where this would go.

"Harry," she said, quietly, feeling Stuart tense beside her. "Let's go. It's not worth it."

Draco finally turned his eyes on her but the sneer didn't lift from his face. Instead, it only deepened, his eyes shifting into something envious.

"C'mon, guys," Harry muttered, jerking his head and what was left of the team moved, Oliver and Dean still clutching onto Cormac who was cussing over his shoulder at Draco and Blaise.

"By the greenhouses at nine!" Cormac shouted. "I'll show you -"

Elara could only find time to get away from the group a few hours later, after they'd all sat around and shared Honeydukes Chocolate over the victory.

Elara didn't have any, feeling faintly sick at the memory of Draco telling her his mother's rapist had bought him the very same treat.

Her footsteps echoed as she entered the Slytherin common room, having bumped into Pansy on her way here.

"I haven't seen him either," Pansy was saying as they made their way up the spiral staircase. "He's probably furious though. I think McLaggen said something about his father."

Elara's heart sank.

" - beat his face to a pulp," Theo was saying from the sofa as the girls walked in to Draco's room. "Oh, look who's here!"

Elara's heartbeat pounded a little harder in her neck as she took in Draco, shirtless, his hair damp from the shower he'd just gotten out of, bicep straining as he rubbed a towel along the back of his head, messing up the strands in an effort to dry them, raising his eyes to hers for a split second before looking away.

"Where's Blaise?" Pansy asked, making a beeline for Theo and flopping down next to him.

"Sulking in his dorm," Theo answered, still looking between Elara and Draco.

She tried to ignore the fact that this was the first time she'd been in his room for almost three weeks now and he wasn't even looking at her, instead sitting on the edge of the bed and resting his elbows on his knees, bending his head and continuing to rub the towel through his hair.

"You're not going," she spoke firmly, folding her arms over her chest as she watched him. The muscles in his back tensed, his movements halting at her voice. "You're not."

She could feel Theo and Pansy staring at them both, waiting to see what would happen.

After a long moment, Draco blew out a breath. "I don't remember asking for permission."

Elara stiffened and opened her mouth to respond, only for Pansy to cut in.

"Sorry, where is he not going?" she demanded, sinking back into the sofa.

"None of your fucking business," Draco started, irritation on his features, just as Elara said, "To fight Cormac McLaggen."

His eyes flashed as he glanced up at her for the first time.

"What? McLaggen asked you to fight?" Pansy snorted. "You'll take him down in less than a -" She caught Elara's eye and shrank back. "Uh... It's probably not a good idea."

Elara wondered what kind of look Pansy must have seen on her face to back down so quickly.

"I think it's a good way for Draco to release all this..." Theo gestured with his hands. "Pent up rage, you know? He hasn't been getting  _ any  _ girls and Jacobs obviously hasn't been getting his attention lately -"

"Get out," Draco said, low and deadly, lifting his head to meet Theo's eye.

"I'm just -"

"Out," both Elara and Draco snapped and Theo raised his eyebrows with a tilt of his head before sighing and getting to his feet, dragging Pansy up with him.

"You're coming too, dimwit," he muttered, pulling her towards the door. "If I don't get to watch this,  _ you  _ definitely don't get the satisfaction to."

Her protests were drowned out as the door shut behind them with a click.

"You're not going. It's not worth it. You  _ just  _ finished your exams - do you really want to be expelled  _ now?" _

"I didn't see anyone stopping me when I had at him earlier," Draco shot back, still clutching the towel. "Probably because they knew the fucking  _ prick  _ deserved it -"

"What did he say?" she cut him off, trying to keep her temper in check. "What did he say that made you so mad?"

Draco's jaw went taut and he pushed to his feet, striding over to the dresser and tossing the towel onto it. "Whatever it was, it doesn't change the fact that I'm going to beat him to a fucking bloody pulp in less than an hour -"

"Don't dodge the fucking question!" Elara hissed, stepping forward. "What did he say?"

"Elara, I swear to Salazar -"

"I don't fucking care who or what you swear to, Draco. Tell me what the fuck he said."

He turned on her, his hand spasming, and she tried to ignore the way his bare torso looked, chiseled and hard, scars slashing across them. "You really want to fucking know?" he demanded, harshly, stalking towards her.

Elara stared at him, her face heating. "Of course I want to fucking know! It's what I've been asking for -"

"He said there was space in Azkaban for me - right next to my  _ fucking  _ father." He said it with no feeling, his face impassive.

But the emotion in his eyes was there - the guilt over the fact that McLaggen was right.

Elara's gut curled.

"He said that I deserved to be in that fucking shithole, rotting away like my fucking  _ father,"  _ Draco continued, coming to a stop in front of her. "So tell me now, Saint Elara. Am I justified in punching his fucking face in?"

The knot in Elara's throat made it hard to swallow.

He shook his head at her, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "Yeah. So get out."

He turned and headed back towards the bed.

"Let's go," she said to his retreating back, her voice quiet.

He stopped, turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. "What?"

"I'll help you," she answered, calmly, meeting his steely gaze. "But I get to throw the first punch."

Draco assessed her for a second, taking in her stance and the tone of her voice, before he let the corner of his lips turn up. "Do you have any idea how hot that was?"

Elara faltered, the simple phrase already making her tingle. "No, I don't, considering that you've been ignoring me all week."

The smile faded from his face and he exhaled, turning and leaning against the dresser.

The silence was suffocating.

Finally, he spoke, quiet and firm. "I'm not who you think I am, Elara."

Her pulse picked up again and she moved closer, looking at him, questioningly.

He watched her with wary eyes as she approached. "I'm not some broken boy who - who needs someone to bring out the good in him."

Elara's mind flashed to memories of him giving her a ring, him kissing her softly as they lay tangled together in his bed, him caressing her as they sank into the bathtub together. Of him taking her to the Ritz, of him tutoring her little sister and never bringing it up to her, of him not accepting the money and telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Of him making her promise never to stop loving him.

As if she could've stopped - even if she'd wanted to.

"Draco -" She reached for his hand and he shifted out of her reach, leaning his elbows back onto the dresser. Her hand fell back to her side.

"I'm not," he said, stoically. "I know you want me to be - but I'm not."

She could see the emotions simmering under the surface; there were too many, blending into each other, impossible to discern.

"I only want you," she said, softly, looking up at him with tender eyes. "I promise -"

"No." His throat bobbed. "No, don't - we can't -" He took a breath, seemed to brace himself. "I'm going to tear you apart."

The back of Elara's eyes pricked. "No, you're not."

Draco shook his head, damp strands falling onto his forehead. "I will - you don't have any  _ fucking  _ idea -"

"I love -"

_ "No."  _ He seemed to struggle to take a breath, his hand curling into a fist on the dresser. "No, don't fucking say it."

Elara swallowed, thickly, her mind racing. He was trying to keep himself in control - she could see it in every twitch in his body language.

She wanted to help - in any way she could.

"Draco -"

"Stop  _ fucking  _ talking!" His voice rose. "I can't fucking  _ think  _ around you and I can't - I'm going to ruin your  _ life  _ and all you want to do is stand here and tell me you love me?"

Her heart lodged in her throat. "Oh, so one minute, you're making me promise that I'll never stop and the next, you don't even want to hear me  _ say  _ it?"

His chest heaved, his eyes alight, but he made no move to answer, flexing his knuckles. She realised they were bruised from where he'd slammed it into McLaggen's face multiple times.

McLaggen who had told Draco he deserved to rot alongside his father.

Elara inhaled, deeply, forcing herself to calm down.

"I don't understand why you're being like this," she said, her voice barely a whisper, feeling like the words would never get out. In the back of her mind, there was the constant repetition of the same sentence.

_ He doesn't want you anymore. _

It was why he'd been aloof and ignoring her, why he'd barely glanced at her, why he was telling her he didn't want to hear her tell him she loved him.

It made something in her want to curl up and die.

Draco gritted his teeth, tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. When he brought it back down, there was something else burning in his eyes - need and desperation combined. He needed to release it all - the rage, the self-hatred, the guilt.

Elara was frozen to the spot.

"Elara," he warned as she stepped closer. "Don't - I can't -"

"I'm here," she said, quietly, locking eyes with him. Silver and caramel. "You can -"

"No -  _ no -"  _ He clenched his jaw, fingers tightening over the edge of the dresser.

Elara had no idea how the conversation had taken such a sharp turn. "Draco -  _ listen  _ to me."

He fell silent, wary eyes on her.

"I told you I loved you." She kept her voice gentle, saw him shut his eyes as she said it, his throat bobbing. "I meant it. So let's talk -"

"No." He pushed away from her, raked his hands through his hair, roughly. " _ No.  _ I don't want to fucking  _ talk." _

He looked like he was going to throw something at a wall or punch one. Possibly both.

Elara knew she'd never get anything out of him like this. He was too worked up, too lost in his emotions to even form a proper sentence.

She watched the rise and fall of his broad, strong shoulders, making her decision.

"Fuck me."

He stilled from where he was tugging at his hair, his back to her, the muscles contracted. It almost made her drool.

He was sculpted like a  _ god. _

"Elara." His tone was low, tense. Warning her that she was walking a dangerous path.

"I want to," she breathed, closing the distance between them quickly and reaching for his shoulder. His skin was burning hot against her hand and he twisted away, whirling to face her.

"Don't," he hissed but his eyes were dark and she could see him spiralling out of control. He wanted to - he  _ needed  _ to.

She dropped her hands to his belt, tugged him closer, silently begging him to give in because Merlin knew she needed it too.

The fact that fucking out their problems wasn't healthy nagged her in the back of her mind but since when had she ever wanted healthy?

She was a sucker for danger.

As soon as she brushed her fingers across his hard stomach, above the waistband of his trousers, he stiffened and then shuddered, groaned as he gave in and knotted a hand in her hair, slamming his mouth to hers.

Elara inhaled, sharply, and braced herself against him, hands resting against his abs, digging her nails in as he kissed her, hungrily.

"Fuck - I won't - I  _ can't  _ be gentle -" he panted, even as he separated their lips to tear off her shirt, up and over her head. "I want to  _ hurt  _ you -"

"Do it," she gasped against his mouth as his hand slid up to wrap around her throat. "Do it. I'm yours."

His other hand slid lower to grip her ass and she whimpered, filled with desire already. His lips joined hers again, harsh and needy, his teeth nipping at her lip before his tongue slid against hers, hot and smooth.

"I haven't forgotten how you edged me in the library." His voice was suddenly low and seductive. Thrills swept through Elara's body at just the sound. "I think you deserve a punishment, don't you?"

Her heartbeat began to pick up, thudding a steady rhythm against her ribs. She met his eyes, found them dark and hungry - and behind them, raw emotion.

Raw emotion that he desperately wanted to take out on her.

It was all happening so fast - they'd been at each other's throats only a few moments before.

"Elara." Her name, coupled with one hand grabbing her face on either side, squishing her cheeks and forcing her to look at him. He was trying to hide it - the desperation, the conflict within him.

She hated it. She wanted to see him, raw and open.

She slid her hands to his belt again, her gaze dropping, core tightening. He stopped her, not letting go of her face and jerked her head back up, pressing himself flush against her. One hand knotted in her hair, yanking it back and she gasped, her neck craning back, exposing the creamy column of her throat. His eyes locked on hers, his mouth hovering above hers.

"Say it."

She trembled in his grasp, the muscles in her neck beginning to ache from the tight grip he had in her hair, keeping her head back so she could meet his eyes.

He looked almost feral - the desire in his eyes slowly replacing the helplessness she'd seen just a few moments before.

Draco Malfoy got off on being in control.

"I want you." The three words fell from her lips in breathy gasps and she saw his expression darken.

"Tell me to stop if it gets too much," he muttered, his gaze already dropping to her lips before his mouth collided with hers, harsh and unrelenting.

Elara keened into his mouth as his tongue slid against hers, her eyes immediately shutting, and he finally dropped his hand from around her jaw, instead moving it to press against the small of her back.

He was hard against her already and she shivered and tugged at his hair, her fingers almost trembling. She wanted him so bad, she was sure she would combust.

His teeth pulled back her lower lip so hard, he drew blood and she winced but he paid no heed, instead letting go of her hair, finally releasing her and letting her muscles relax. His hand slid down, hooked one leg around his waist and she quickly followed with the other one, their lips still connected.

He supported her, large hands splayed under the back of her thighs and she made a confused sound when he began to move away from the bed and walk towards the desk. "Draco - ?"

"I seem to remember," he rasped against her mouth, retreating an inch so he could drag his hot mouth down the column of her throat, nipping at the soft skin at the top of her breasts. She mewled, her hands losing themselves in his hair, "a promise to tie you up and fuck you on every piece of furniture in this room."

Elara's heart stilled, her breath catching, and he smirked against her skin, setting her down on the desk.

"Not so confident now, are we?" He planted his palms on either side of her hips and leaned forward, eyes ravenous as they fixed on hers. She returned his gaze, wide-eyed, and an almost cruel twinge in his smile made her nerves tingle. "Mm. That's what I  _ fucking  _ thought."

He was forcing her to lie down on the desk and ripping her skirt off her in record time, not bothering to take things slow, and dipped his head to her torso, kissing a line from right under her bra down to her bellybutton. "I'm going to make you fucking  _ cry." _

"Highly doubt that," she choked out, the fire within her simmering as he reached the edge of her underwear and raised his eyes to hers.

"Oh?" He smirked again and it was so wicked, her blood turned to ice. "Wait till you're choking on my dick."

He muttered a  _ Muffliato  _ but Elara barely heard it over the rush of blood in her ears.

Wetness pooled between her thighs and she squirmed, her heart erratic in her chest at his words. Then his teeth closed around the edge of her underwear and dragged it down her thighs, baring her to him.

He straightened again, meeting her eyes with a smirk, his fingers doing the rest of the work and sliding the garment off her. His movements were fluid and confident. It both infuriated her and turned her on.

Draco leaned over her, his mouth meeting hers and he gave the broken skin on her lower lip another sharp bite, making her let out a pained noise. Then, he kissed along her jaw, down her neck, leaving love bites as he went, bruising the skin and marking her, lower and lower, skipping right over her breasts like the tease he was.

His mouth stopped at her bellybutton and he dragged his lips to her hip, scraping his teeth against her hipbone and then sucking the skin into his mouth. She hissed, wriggling to try and get him closer to where she needed him and he clicked his tongue at her, moving to her inner thigh.

"Patience."

Elara groaned as his breath ghosted over her clit and she jerked her hips upwards. His tongue darted out, flicked over it and she gasped, her legs jolting.

Draco kept his gaze on hers as he ran his tongue over his lips and Elara nearly begged, her stomach uncomfortably tight from the anticipation. He was  _ right there. _

"Draco - " she panted, her fingers tugging at his locks and he smiled again, edged like a blade.

"Are you going to beg?" he taunted, lazily before he gave her clit another flick of his tongue - a split second of contact but enough to get Elara's head to thrash.

His breath hit her head on, made her head spin with the wait. His hand slid to grasp her thighs, squeezing the chub there and then releasing, rings cutting into the soft skin for a moment. "I want to hurt you. I want to make you fucking _scream_ and beg me to stop."

Elara's hips tried to raise off the table, the sensation of him being  _ so  _ close but not giving her what she wanted overwhelming her. He held her down, that self-assured look still on his face.

His tongue barely grazed her clit and she couldn't take the pressure in her core anymore. _Damn_ _him_.

_ "Please."  _ She was breathless, barely able to get the words out. "Please."

He smirked again, eyes on hers, tilting his head to leave a hickey on her inner thigh, watching her as he sucked the skin into his mouth. Elara tugged at his soft locks, squirming, trying desperately to overpower him and raise her hips.

"Look what I've reduced you to," he drawled, his mouth poised over her again. She felt her eyes prick at the torture. " _ Pathetic.  _ I can break you  _ so  _ easily."

Her head spun and his mouth finally lowered. Her heart thundered in anticipation, the knot in her core beginning to loosen and then, it was gone and he was flipping her over, roughly, her stomach pressed against the desk.

The breath was knocked out of her and she gasped, chest heaving at the deprivation, suddenly finding herself staring at the emerald green wall in front of her. The pressure in her stomach curled again, almost painful and she tried to turn her head to look at Draco, only for his hand to shove her head down to the table, her cheek slamming into the wood.

"What a little slut," he growled and she whimpered, her eyes shutting as his ring-clad fingers rubbed along her ass, knowing what was coming next. Sure enough, he reared his hand back and brought it down hard on her skin, making her cry out, her back wanting to arch but his hand holding her down by her head. "Don't fucking move. If you do - even an  _ inch _ \- I'm leaving."

Elara was tempted to say something sassy about how this was  _ his  _ room - but decided the risk was too high. She needed a release so badly, her head was beginning to spin. The raw emotion rolled off Draco in waves as he stepped back and she heard him move over to his dresser and pull the drawer open.

Visions of the way he'd stormed off the pitch after Gryffindor had won, sweat dripping down him, jaw clenched, flashed through her head, the pure anger and frustration on his face enough to make anybody wither.

But it had only turned Elara on.

But all this emotion that he was trying to hide now, trying to get rid of by using her body, couldn't be just due to Quidditch. It was something else; Elara wanted to get it out of him.

"Good girl." Draco was back behind her and she trembled at the praise, her thoughts banished, trying not to move. "So desperate for me to use you, aren't you?"

She half-wanted him to stop  _ talking. _

But then he was yanking her wrists behind her back and the soft material of a tie came down around them. He knotted it with expert hands and nudged her legs open wide with his own feet.

His fingers teased her entrance from behind and she gasped, her head jerking up only for him to shove it back down onto the table, making her head reel. "I said, don't  _ fucking  _ move."

Her legs were shaking as he spread her open with two fingers, bringing his other hand away from her head to rub along her slit.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck -" she mewled, wanting nothing more than to squirm to get more friction but knowing she couldn't. "Draco - Draco, please."

He hummed in satisfaction. "You really are nothing but a toy for me to fuck, aren't you?" He pushed one finger into her and she let out a loud moan, her cheek still pressed against the rough wood. "Look at you, wet and  _ soaking.  _ You like to be treated like the whore you are."

And then his fingers were slamming into her, pumping vigorously and a cry ripped from her throat, the sudden pleasure washing over her and making her want to grab onto the desk, unable to because of the tie around her wrists.

Her toes curled as he thumbed her clit, his eyes fixed on her face as he fucked her with his fingers. She wriggled on the desk, her breath coming out in sharp gasps, the torture beautiful.

Then, his hand came down on her ass again, making her yelp at the harsh feeling and then moan as he curled his fingers inside her. It was too much - the sensations were overwhelming her already - and she knew he had no intention of stopping.

"Can't wait till I'm - fucking -" He slapped her ass again, watching the flesh bounce, and then increasing the pace of his fingers. "Inside you."

She moaned, loudly, her abdomen tightening, the desperate need for release skyrocketing as she got closer to the edge. "Oh - fuck - please -"

His thumb pressed down on her clit and his rings bit across her skin as he reared his hand back and brought it down on her ass again, making her back arch at the stinging pain.

The pressure grew and grew and grew and he curled his fingers again and she was about to come - just one more -

"You thought edging me would be fun, hmm?" he rasped, adding a third finger and she felt her muscles spasm, right at the edge of an orgasm. "Well, let's see how you fucking like it."

He pulled out of her and swear words ripped from her throat, the deprivation almost blinding her.

"What a dirty, fucking mouth," he mused, seeming unconcerned that she was almost about to pass out, her head still spinning from the deprivation of an orgasm. He grabbed her by her hair, tugging her head up from the table, arching her neck back so he could sink his teeth in. "I say we put it to good use."

With that, he dragged her off the table and forced her to the ground, onto her knees, her hands still bound behind her back.

Elara shook as she looked straight ahead at his hands unbuckling his belt, her eyes widened, her head still spinning. He gave her a moment to breathe, grasping her jaw in one hand and tilting her head up, his fingers pausing on his belt.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, quietly, intense eyes meeting hers, silver storms raging in them. She wondered how he was keeping control despite his desperation to use her to get everything out.

She shook her head, the stickiness between her thighs enough to remind her how badly she wanted him.

His fingers tightened over her jaw, rings digging in. "Words, Elara."

"No," she answered, swallowing hard, her head finally clearing. "No - I - I want to keep going."

His eyes darkened again and he let go of her jaw, shoving her face to the side, roughly, as he did so, going back to undoing his trousers. "Good girl."

Her breath hitched in her throat as he yanked down his trousers, exposing his erection, long and hard.

"You know what to do," he said, lazily, one hand coming to rest in her hair as she shifted closer, the muscles in her arms already aching from being bound behind her back.

She may have been tied up but she wasn't going to let him get off so easily. Slowly, she dragged her tongue up the side of his length, his hand wrapping around himself to help her and he let out a guttural groan, his hips jerking involuntarily.

Her fingers curled inwards, nails digging into her palms at the sound, and she moved her mouth back up to the tip, taking it between her lips just a bit before letting it go and flicking her tongue over it.

Satisfaction welled up in her when he let out another throaty moan, his hand tightening in her hair. "Take it all or I'll make you."

Elara ignored him, sliding her tongue down him again, never taking him into her mouth as she shifted back again, swirling her tongue over the tip once more. She felt his thighs tense and then both hands were in her hair, forcing her forward and pushing him into her mouth.

She inhaled, sharply, at the sudden intrusion but Draco didn't stop until he hit the back of her throat and she gagged, her eyes tearing up.

"That's what you get for not fucking listening," he hissed, his eyes focused on her as he stilled inside her mouth, brushing the back of her throat and making her gag around him again. "That's it. Choke on my dick."

Her vision blurred and then he was sliding out, one hand wrapping around the base of him since her hands weren't there to do it for him. He thrust his hips forward again, his head tipping back when she took him into her mouth, more prepared this time.

"Oh, fuck," he rasped, rings catching onto her hair before he brought his head down again to look at her. "Faster."

She obeyed, not really in the position to protest, hollowing her cheeks as he began to fuck her face, breathy moans falling from his lips as he slid in to the hilt.

She forced herself to breathe through her nose but tears still welled up in her eyes when he hit the back of her throat again and she felt them streaming down her face only a few moments later.

His hand left his length to grab her jaw, tightly, rings cold and tilted her head up, his dick still in her mouth. "Look at you." He rubbed his thumb under her eye, a wicked smirk on his face, smearing her running mascara even more. "You look fucking  _ beautiful _ like this."

Another tear slid down her face and his smile grew, hands moving back to her head as he began to thrust into her mouth again, movements sharp.

Her eyes fell shut, her jaw aching as she tried to focus on taking him, her nails leaving crescents in her palms whenever he reached deep. "Fuck - you're doing so good, darling."

The small praise - out of the blue - was enough to make Elara's heart swell and she bobbed her head faster only for him to stop her.

"Look at me."

She did, her eyes watery, cheeks damp with tears, her mascara smeared and he let out a hiss, teeth sinking into his lower lip, as he pulled out of her mouth and collapsed onto the chair, bringing her with him.

She gulped for air as she settled on top of him, disappointed that he'd pulled his trousers up again.

"Draco -" Elara gasped out as he buried his head in her neck, pressing hot kisses to her skin, giving her some relief, her core throbbing for release. "I can't wait -"

"Too bad." His teeth nipped at the spot under her jaw and she tilted her head back, her arms aching to be around his neck. "I'm not done with you yet."

His hands gripped her hips, steadying her on top of him since she couldn't, and then he shifted her so her legs were on either side of one of his muscled thighs, the soft fabric of his trousers grazing between her thighs and making her stomach jolt.

She got the idea and began to roll her hips, grinding down on his thigh and he sat back in the chair, guiding her and making sure she didn't lose her balance.

"That's it." His head fell back against the chair, blond locks falling forward onto his forehead. "Ride my thigh like a good girl."

His words made her moan and he slid one hand into her hair, tangling and pulling her closer before his mouth found the hollow of her throat again and he jerked his hips upwards into hers, making her cry out at the splendid friction.

"So fucking  _ desperate,"  _ he groaned as moisture coated his clothed thigh, her hips rolling against it. "You want to come so bad, don't you?"

Elara could barely hear him, her eyes shut, as she ground down onto his leg, her head falling back, tips of her long hair brushing his hand that rested low on her back.

Lost in the pleasure, her lips parted as she coaxed herself closer to the edge, not even embarrassed over how pathetic she must look, desperate to reach an orgasm on his  _ thigh. _

She felt the knot low in her abdomen tighten and gasped, biting down on her lip, as she felt the beginnings of her high and cried out.

But then, a sharp, stinging sensation spread across her cheek, her head whipping to the side and it took her a dazed moment to realise Draco had  _ slapped  _ her. Back-handed her right across her face. And she liked it.

"Please -" she whined, her movements almost erratic as she chased an orgasm - so, so,  _ so  _ close. "Again."

She saw the smirk curve over Draco's face and then he was doing it again, his other hand slipping lower to grasp her ass.

The harsh sensation made something curl low in her gut and she knew she was there, about to topple off the edge, a second away -

Draco ripped her from him, shoving her off him to land on the floor, her eyes tearing up again at the deprivation and the jolt.

"Doesn't feel nice, does it? Being edged?" he growled, yanking her to her feet.

She was sobbing apologies, the need for a release making her feel light-headed as he steadied her with a hand tangled in her long locks.

Something softened in his expression when he saw the look of absolute agony on her face but it was gone in an instant. He leaned forward and kissed her, skillful tongue brushing against hers, and she keened into him, desperate to get closer.

"You've been such a good girl," he mumbled against her, slipping his hands behind her to undo the tie. Her muscles screamed with relief as the bonds loosened and he bunched it up in his hand as her arms threw themselves around his neck, her face wet with tears as she kissed him, feverishly.

"Please - please -" she whimpered, one of her hands moving to grasp his and guide it between her legs but he wrenched away and shoved her back into the dresser.

"You're lucky there's not that many pieces of furniture in this room," he muttered, lifting her on top of it.

Elara had no idea what he was talking about, her mind sluggishly recalling something he'd said about fucking her wherever he could, but her hormones were going berserk, making her blood rush and the uncomfortable tightness in her stomach increase.

Draco stood between her legs, the tie still in his hands as he got another one out of the top drawer and then he was spreading her legs wider, tying one end of the tie to her ankle and the other around the knob of the second drawer of the dresser.

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as he did the same with the other tie, binding her ankle to the knob of the dresser, preventing her from closing her legs.

"Draco..." She tugged at the bonds but found them too tight to loosen. She was going to shatter if he edged her one more time and the look in his eye told her he was planning on doing exactly that.

He pressed himself flush against her, erection between her thighs, and her arms came up to rest around his neck.

"One more," he murmured against the damp skin of her neck, his hands coming up to pull the cups of her bra below her breasts and palming them, making her moan. "Just one more and then I'll let you come."

She was trembling already as he pressed himself firmer between her thighs, her legs spread wide open for him, no way to close them around him and get any form of friction.

Then, he began to grind against her like she'd been doing a few moments before on his thigh and she felt the sob rip from her throat, knowing she wouldn't be able to come even as he coaxed her closer.

"I'm going to edge you one last time," he whispered, lips pressed against her ear as he rolled his hips, harshly, his erection rubbing straight up against her clit and making her bite into his bare shoulder. "And then I'm going to fuck you so hard you're not going to be able to walk for  _ weeks." _

She gasped for air and he groaned as he pulled back, taking in the tears in her eyes as his hips collided again with hers, making her body jolt, her legs straining to close around him.

"You like this, don't you?" Draco spoke through gritted teeth, his jaw tight. He sounded like he was barely restraining himself from pounding into her. "You like being tortured."

Elara couldn't even form a coherent thought, the pleasure blinding her as she neared the edge. She dared to hope - maybe he'd take pity on her and let her come this time, let the pressure between her thighs ease -

His hands rested on her knees as he pressed himself into her, his clothed erection hard and demanding against her and her lungs searched for oxygen as her muscles began to spasm. She clamped her lips shut, trying not to let him know she was about to fall over the edge.

It was in vain because Draco knew her body like the back of his hand and he was tearing from her in the next second and a wail escaped her throat. She clawed at his shoulders, digging into his skin, to try and get him to settle back between her legs but he looked down at her with a wicked glint in his grey eyes.

She sobbed in desperation, the tears curving into the edge of her lips, salty. "No - Draco - please - please - please!"

He brushed his thumb over her tears, looking satisfied. "Good girl. Such a good girl."

She thought he was probably a little bit twisted for enjoying this, her sobbing in front of him, begging for a release, her pleasure in his control and his control only. But then realised she was  _ just  _ as twisted - if not, more - for  _ enjoying  _ it.

"Please..." Her voice broke and she reached for him again, another sob ripping from her throat.

She nearly passed out when she saw his hands drop to the waistband of his trousers.

"You deserve a reward," he said, softly, and she desperately hoped he wasn't lying.

Her eyes closed as she tried to compose herself, heaving for breath, trying to calm her tears. She had never wanted something so bad - had never felt the kind of desire she did now coiling in her core, aching for Draco and only Draco.

"Next time," he whispered, stepping back between her legs, still spread wide open for him, "you won't be so quick to edge  _ me." _

With that, he was inside her, so sudden Elara barely had time to process it before the pain washed over her and she was crying out, her nails digging into his back.

"Take it," he ordered through clenched teeth as he pushed further, almost all the way in now. She squirmed, her eyes stinging again. "Take it all like the good little fucktoy you are."

Elara whimpered, her teeth coming down on the skin of his shoulder as he buried himself within her, stretching her so deliciously she was sure she'd fall apart. Her vision blurred as he began to piston in and out of her, hissing through his teeth at the sensation, fingers bruising her hips.

She ached to wrap her legs around him, to undo some of the pressure in her abdomen but she was forced to take his delicious onslaught as he moved in and out of her, deftly, hips slamming into her own. The dresser banged against the wall with each harsh thrust.

"This is  _ mine _ ," he growled out, one hand moving to grip her throat and force her back against the wall as he fucked her. "Your body is  _ mine." _

She was barely able to nod, one hand flying to wrap around his wrist on her throat, as he slid back into her, making tears blur her vision again at the ecstasy that ravaged her body.

His pace was relentless as he wrecked her and she clutched onto him, definitely leaving marks in his shoulder from the way she was scratching at him.

A sob escaped her lips as he plunged back into her and he dropped one hand to her clit, teasing it. "Let go, Elara." He dragged his mouth down her throat, stopping to leave a mark at the base of it. "Let go."

He pulled out and sank back in, joining their lips and her body convulsed as her orgasm struck her without warning, her head tipping back as a loud cry tore from her lips, only for him to silence her with another harsh kiss, finally -  _ finally -  _ letting her come.

She was a writhing, gasping mess beneath him, his arms the only thing holding her up, as her vision darkened, the pressure in her abdomen finally releasing, the pleasure wracking through her body like a flood. Her heartbeat raged in her ears, lungs struggling as she shook in his arms and she felt him untie her legs even before she had finished coming.

She had no recollection of the last minute when he bent her over the back of the sofa, sliding the tie around her wrists again and binding them behind her.

Her legs were trembling when he pushed back into her.

"I don't -  _ fuck - _ " Draco seemed to be spiralling himself as she clenched around him, still sensitive from her last orgasm. His hips pressed against her, making her cry out, her head still reeling. "I don't break - my  _ fucking  _ \- " He groaned as she moved back onto him as he pulled out, not wanting to be far from him, "promises."

Elara remembered something about him promising to take her on every piece of furniture in the room and was suddenly glad there was only the bed left.

"Fucking  _ hell."  _ He heaved for breath as he settled back against her, one hand sliding to her tied wrists and pulling her up off the sofa, using her as leverage as he began to pound into her, breathy moans falling from his lips. She could barely muster a sound, breathless gasps pushing past her parted lips.

But she could sense the walls coming down, all of the built up strain he had accumulated crashing down around them, splintering into pieces as he fucked her, roughly, until she toppled over the edge again, screaming his name as she did so.

He slowed his thrusts as her eyes rolled back in her head, letting go of her wrists and letting her fall back against the sofa, swiftly pulling out of her and flipping her over so her back rested against the top of the sofa.

He hitched one long leg up to his hip and entered her again, slamming his mouth to hers. Her head knocked back, wild hair streaming down her back and he bunched it up in one hand, the other on the small of her back as he moved in and out of her, smoothly, hips bruising hers with each painful thrust.

Elara winced, a tear dropping down her cheek, at how sensitive she was but not wanting him to stop all the same.

His hand moved from her back to grab her jaw, compressing her cheeks and he kissed her full on the mouth, teeth clashing before stilling his hips when he pulled out of her next. He dropped his hand from her hair and moved it to her back again, guiding her forward instead of pushing into her and her mouth fell open as she slid onto his length.

He let out a throaty groan and dropped his head against her shoulder as he filled her up to the brim again before resuming his thrusts, slowing the pace to a torturous speed, rolling his hips against hers, making sure she felt every inch every time.

The muscles in Elara's arms ached and she longed to touch him, to gain some control and feel his muscles underneath her quivering hands but he refused to give her even that much.

There was no love in this. All the previous times since the night of the Ball, although they'd had rough sex more times than she could count, there had always been the element of care and love in Draco - even if he refused to acknowledge it. It had been hard as well as sensual and had made her soul light up, intertwining with his, even as their bodies did too.

But tonight - he was animalistic and feral, not seeming to even care that it was  _ Elara  _ underneath him and not some other random girl.

Suddenly, Draco was sliding out of her and pulling her towards the bed, strong enough to shove her onto it with just a small push from his side, although it knocked the breath out of her as she fell onto the bed, her back hitting the sheets that she'd lain in a hundred times before, tangled with him as he brushed kisses to her forehead and made love to her.

But the look in his eyes was nothing like she'd ever seen in this bed before - cold, desperate, an animal gone wild.

Elara shivered at the sight but didn't tell him to stop. His fingers dipped between her legs as he kneeled between her legs and she mewled, back arching, at the jolt of electricity that sparked through her.

"So sensitive," he said with a cruel twinge of his lips and her chest heaved as she stared up at him, eyes wide.

This man was going to ruin her - she had no doubt about it now.

The old Draco was gone - wiped from existence. No soft smiles and warm kisses and teasing hands. No breathless laughs and playful taunts and gentle caresses.

In his place was a  _ weapon -  _ just as Blaise had deemed him all those months ago - filled with self-hatred and fury so intense, he'd burn the entire place down if he could.

Elara was dragged out of her thoughts as Draco's sinful mouth met her collarbone, sucking the skin into his mouth, leaning over her on the bed. "Draco..."

He hummed, moving lower, skimming over her breasts, over the sensitive peaks.

"Are you..." Her breath hitched when he took one into his mouth, warm and wet. "Oh,  _ shit -" _

Her back arched, trying to get more, her hands still useless behind her back. He chuckled, darkly, and moved to the other, swirling his tongue over the nub and causing the knot in her core to curl tighter. "Always so ready for me."

Then, he was flipping her over and yanking her up onto her knees, undoing the tie around her wrists before bringing them around to her front, fastening them there instead.

Elara's heart thrashed in her ribcage, her shoulders rising up and down, rapidly, as she tried to catch her breath. "Do we - Do we need these?"

He stilled his movements for a moment, silent. It seemed so impersonal - not getting to touch and feel him.

But then again, the way he was fucking her, that was probably what he wanted.

When he spoke, his voice was rough. "I don't want to be touched and I know you won't be able to  _ fucking  _ resist."

With that, he gave one last pull on the tie and tugged her arms above her head. She realised what he was doing a moment later, through her daze.

"Good girl," he murmured against her ear, nipping at her earlobe when she didn't protest to her arms being fastened to the bed post above them, her back stretching, knees pressed into the bed. He shoved her legs apart with his own knees and she felt the tip of his length brush against her again, one large hand splaying across her stomach, the other sliding into her hair to yank her head back against his shoulder.

"Are you..." She remembered her question from earlier, although her mind was hazy. "Are you okay?"

He froze behind her and she felt his grasp on her relax an inch. The only sound was her heavy breathing for the next few moments as he mulled over her question.

His voice was deadly when he answered, a cutting edge through the air and through all of Elara's preconceived notions of him. "When I'm fucked up, Elara," a rough whisper against the shell of her ear, " _ that's  _ the real me."

And then he forced his hips forward, entering her in a single, swift thrust and Elara wished she had something to hold onto as he pounded against her, hips battering her ass, sure to leave bruises.

Soft whimpers and gasps fell from her lips as he used her, cursing into the damp skin of her neck and biting down when she clenched around him. She was already so tired - if her arms hadn't been fastened above her head, she would have collapsed onto the bed. But the tingling in her core was still there - would always be there when Draco was like this with her, deep inside her and groaning into her ear, so erotic she felt she would reach her third orgasm with just the sound.

He was close; she could sense it as his thrusts grew sloppier, his damp hair sticking to her skin as he continued his delicious assault on her neck.

"I could do this all fucking night." He plunged into her again and she whimpered as he let go of her hair, letting it fall forward, long dark strands hanging around her face.

Her muscles screamed for release in every part of her body, especially in her arms as he rammed into her, one sharp thrust after the other.

His hand came up to grasp at her breast, his rough palm kneading at it and only intensifying the feeling of her third orgasm approaching fast.

"Go on," he ground out, gasping for breath as he shifted into her again. "Come for me."

Elara tried to hold back, clenching herself around him to push it for a few more seconds, but couldn't stop it when white-hot euphoria washed over her, drenching her from head to toe. She convulsed, not able to move much due to her bound hands, and her eyes rolled back in her head.

Draco sank his teeth into her shoulder and muffled a moan as he spasmed inside her and released into her, panting against her skin.

Elara clenched around him and he made a strangled sound before pulling out of her, his hand loosening the tie from around her wrists above her head and grabbing her waist as she almost toppled forward and off the bed, completely spent.

He lowered her onto the bed, let her catch her breath and Elara's eyes fluttered shut as she lay on her stomach, tucking her hands under her face as she tried to collect herself.

Her muscles were sore all over, the space between her thighs raw and sensitive and she winced as she shifted, slightly. She felt the bed dip as Draco moved to sit on the edge and then get off it.

He'd just fucked her to oblivion - she'd never had sex so intense and mind-blowing. Being restrained had only helped.

But the look in his eyes...The way she felt like she didn't even know him anymore and it had only been three weeks since his birthday and the Ritz.

She opened her mouth to question him but found her eyes unable to open and she slipped into an exhausted sleep, her wrists aching.

It was probably an hour later that she woke to the sound of the bathroom door opening and her eyelids cracked open as a sliver of light filtered into the dark room.

Draco stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only black trousers that hung low on his hips, his hair wet from the shower.

Elara watched with bated breath as he moved over to the dresser, pulling open the first drawer.

"I warned you."

Her eyes stayed fixed on him, watching him shrug on a black shirt over his trousers, back muscles contracting.

"I know." She turned onto her back and sat up, fixing her bra and reaching for the shirt he'd presumably placed at the foot of the bed for her while she was asleep, sliding it over her head.

"You're going to be sore for a while." He was talking to her at least but his words were clipped, as if he didn't want to extend this any more than he already had.

Elara eyed him as he ruffled his damp hair with one hand. "That's okay."

She swallowed, thickly, suddenly feeling like she was about to cry. Why was he being so distant?

"Draco..." She moved to swing her legs off the bed and hissed in pain under her breath.

"Stay here," he said, quietly, deft fingers buttoning his shirt up. "You won't be able to walk back yet."

She struggled to form words, tears hitting the back of her eyes at the look of him so far away and aloof, his eyes colder than they'd been the last time she'd seen him so distant - that night in the library when she'd broken things off.

"Where are you going?" She stumbled to her feet despite the steady ache between her thighs and the way her muscles screamed to fall back onto the bed.

His fingers didn't stop moving, doing up the buttons, smoothly. "Stay here."

"No - Draco -" She took two steps towards him and reached for his arm, her vision blurring with tears. She just wanted him to hold her. "What's wrong? Why are you acting like this -"

"I already fucking told you." He wrenched his arm away from her outstretched fingers like she would've burned him if she'd touched him. "This is  _ me,  _ Elara. I'm not someone you can  _ \- fix." _

"I'm not trying to -" she stammered, reaching for him again.

He raised his eyes to hers, having finished buttoning his shirt.

And Elara saw it - for only half a second, but it was there.

A flash of regret and guilt, betraying himself despite everything he'd done to try and show her he didn't care in the past two weeks.

"I'm definitely not who you think I am," he said, quietly, not taking his eyes off hers and a sob bubbled in Elara's chest.

"I love you," she whispered, looking down at the snake ring twisting around her right index. He had given it to her; he had cared about her. Memories of a moonlit night in the very same bed behind her, stars glittering on the ceiling, as he pushed into her after giving her an heirloom that had run in his family for centuries flashed through her mind.

Soft hands and gentle kisses. Whispers of  _ 'mine'  _ in her ear, firm hands on her face, silver eyes looking at her like she was the only thing holding him together.

Tears in her neck, clutching onto her that night in the bathroom. His blood coating her fingers only a few hours later as she sobbed over him, bleeding out on the bathroom floor. The jealous spasm of his hand whenever he laid eyes on her with Harry.

The good and the bad. That was what made a home.

Right?

His eyes were steel personified as they met hers. When he spoke, his voice was rough and deathly quiet like he was trying not to shatter her apart but would do it anyway.

"I don't even love myself, Elara," he said, hand spasming by his side and she remembered the intense self-hatred on his face earlier.

A Death Eater's son, forced to pay a price worse than Azkaban - surrounded by people but estranged, alone and loathing himself for eternity.

She clamped her hand down over her mouth to prevent another sob from escaping, tears trailing down her cheeks, knowing what was coming next.

He watched her cry, didn't make a single move to comfort her.

"And I certainly don't love you."

It was a quiet killing blow, soft and gentle, hiding the true nature of his words as it pierced through her heart and tore it apart.

Piece by piece.

It was a pain she knew would stay with her for the rest of her life.

Elara watched, helpless, as he strode to the door, aching to go after him, knowing he wouldn't let her and simultaneously wanting to scream at him and hex him until he wasn't breathing.

Make him feel the hurt he'd just inflicted onto her - the way he'd torn her to shreds with his own bare hands.

"And I  _ definitely,"  _ Draco said and his voice shook - just slightly - with his back to her as his hand wrapped around the doorknob, "can never love someone who's been using me as a pawn the entire time."

The air was stolen from her lungs and Elara sank to the floor as soon as the door shut behind him.

The sobs that wracked through her chest threatened to starve her of oxygen as she heaved for breath, faintly feeling like she was going to be ill.

The room whirled around her and she shut her eyes, not even registering that tears were leaking out of them, her chest constricting so much she felt like she was going to die.

_ Snape. _

Draco knew about Snape. He knew what she'd done - why she'd gotten involved with him in the first place.

_ No. _

No, she had to tell him. She had to tell him she loved him and it had never been about Snape and she'd never meant to use him as a pawn -

Elara crawled to the door, her throat knotted, sobbing like she never had before.

She wanted to curl up and cry until she could find the strength to get up.

But Draco -

Her hand closed around the doorknob - where his had been just a few moments earlier - and she twisted it.

It didn't open. She tried again, summoning all her strength and forcing herself to pull herself together.

_ Draco. Draco. _

Just five letters but enough to shatter her or piece her back together.

She turned the doorknob.

How weak must she be if she couldn't even get the fucking door open -

_ No. _

It dawned on her and her face went slack, her breaths loud and gasping, as the tears gathered in her eyes.

It was locked.

Draco had locked her in.

  
  



	50. fifty

IT WAS BLAISE WHO SAVED HER.

It had probably been an hour or so since Elara had been sat there against the door, having tried everything to unlock it, including six different types of creative jinxes.

But whatever she did, it wouldn't budge. She'd given up and collapsed against the door, wrapping her arms around her knees and watching the Giant Squid float past the window.

She only stood up to change back into her clothes, transfiguring her skirt into jeans to hide the marks from where Draco had gripped her thighs too hard. She buttoned her shirt with shaking fingers and combed her hair back into a ponytail, stepping into the bathroom to splash water on her face and Charm away the bites on her neck.

As soon as Draco came back, she'd tear him apart.

Because there was no way he didn't care about her. She refused to believe it.

Not when he'd told her he wanted this to last for the rest of his life, not when he'd kissed her tenderly and she promised to love him forever, not when he had forced her to eat and risked expulsion and asked her to stay the night so he could sleep better, not when he'd slept with stars on his ceiling every night they were apart -

She shook herself out of her thoughts, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The mirror she had locked eyes with him in once upon a time before he turned her and lifted her onto the counter so he could kiss her, gently, warm hands sliding under the shirt that he had given to her to caress her waist.

She shook her head, holding back a sob, and headed back into the room, settling against the door again, burying her face in her arms.

That was when the screaming started.

Elara's head snapped up as soon as it did, a terrible, gut-twisting sound that reverberated through her bones.

It sounded like a girl - but she couldn't be sure - and it was a sound filled with agony and pain.

Elara was on her feet as soon as the familiar sounds of wandwork began, sharp, explosive pops that she had heard so many times in her lifetime.

Someone was dueling.

No. She calculated the number of spells she heard being thrown in twenty seconds - far too many to emit from one wand in that time period.

_ Multiple  _ people were dueling.

And then the laughter started. Cruel, maniacal laughter and the screaming cut out - so abrupt Elara couldn't find any explanation except that they had been knocked out or -

_ No.  _ No one could kill anybody in Hogwarts.

But the  _ laughter  _ \- it was older, deeper and so cruel Elara's blood froze over. This was not a teacher or any member of staff in the school.

She didn't know how it clicked in her mind but it did. The wandwork, the screaming and the sudden cut off, the crazed laughter -

She desperately hoped she was wrong, fear curling in her gut, as she stared at the door, not even realising when she'd pushed off it and retreated to the far side of the room.

Her heart was pounding in her ears as she grasped her wand, so tightly she was scared she'd snap it in half.

She was locked in this room and whoever was in the Slytherin common room, wreaking havoc, did  _ not  _ sound pleasant.

The sounds of shouts and screams, as well as fast wandwork and laughter, echoed in Elara's ears.

She could hear the stomping footsteps getting closer and glass shattering now, could hear indistinct yelling and felt her palms dampen.

Then, she heard him.

"Get out of the  _ fucking  _ way!"

Blaise. It was definitely his baritone voice and he sounded panicked.

Elara felt her heart pound faster and sprinted towards the door, banging her hands on the wood.

"Blaise!" she screamed, desperately. "Blaise -"

There was a loud laugh - one Elara recognised from a few moments before in the Slytherin common room. Whoever had been destroying it had made their way up to the dorms.

She heard Blaise curse under his breath, right outside the door and then heard a spell crash right into it, causing Blaise to yelp and send one back.

Her eyes widened. Someone was attacking Blaise.

There was a couple more shots of spells; Elara heard them crash against the walls of the corridor, heard them shatter the lights above.

She heard Blaise grunt and then, there was a thump - like a dead weight falling.

Elara's stomach curled. He was dead.

They'd killed Blaise.

_ Blaise. _

"Blaise," she croaked out, resting her forehead against the door, her Ravenclaw mind racing. She pictured his body, slumped against the door right on the other side.

She'd be next.

"What the  _ fuck _ do you sound so depressed for?"

Her head jerked up at his voice, her eyes widening. "Blaise?"

"Yes, you fucking dimwit. What the fuck are you doing in Draco's room?" He tried the doorknob.

"It's locked," she said, desperately. "He locked me in. I tried - I tried so many different -"

The lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing tall, tired Blaise, leaning heavily on one leg, the other seemingly wounded.

"It's a Charm we used when we were kids," he muttered, wincing, one hand gripping the edge of the doorway, the other clutching his wand. "To lock each other in -"

"Thank you," she cut him off and glanced at his leg. "What happened? What's going on?"

Blaise's face was grim as he looked at her and her heart slowed. She'd been right. She was so tired of being right.

"Death Eaters," he said, quietly. "In the castle."

Elara's throat constricted and she felt her fingers begin to tremble around her wand. "How?"

It was barely a whisper but he heard it, shifting and wincing as he did so. "Unimportant. You have to get out of here."

He turned and limped down the hallway and Elara took one last look at the room behind her where she'd spent countless nights wrapped up in strong arms, tracing the features of a silver-eyed, broken boy and letting him bewitch her with soft smiles and a ghost of a kiss against her lips.

She mouthed something - she wasn't sure what, maybe an  _ 'I love you' _ \- towards the room and then shut the door behind her.

A strangled scream left her throat as soon as she turned around.

Millicent Bulstrode was lying propped up against the wall facing the door, her eyes wide open, blood dripping down the side of her face.

Next to her was a cloaked figure, sprawled out, the Death Eater's mask glimmering in the flickering lights.

Elara had no doubt the maniacal laughter had come from him.

"They're dead," Blaise told her, already at the end of the corridor, keeping an eye on the entrance to the common room. "He killed her and I killed him. Now - hurry."

Elara felt like she was going to be sick and steadied herself against the wall, only for Blaise to huff and stride back, still limping, and seize her arm.

"We will  _ both  _ die here, Jacobs," he hissed, practically dragging her down the hall. "And I really don't want to take my last fucking breath next to  _ you _ so  _ please -" _

Elara jerked herself out of her daze, still feeling incredibly nauseous. "I don't - It's impossible. The wards - "

"They found another way in," Blaise said through gritted teeth as they emerged onto the landing. "And now the wards are down. Nowhere in this castle is safe - "

The rest of his words were drowned out as Elara's eyes took in the sight of the Slytherin common room, wrecked beyond belief. 

The sofas and armchairs were overturned, the fluff seeping out of them, and the rugs were torn to tatters, the portraits slashed and hanging off the walls, teetering back and forth. The lanterns were all shattered, submerging the room in only the green glow of the water outside the window which also had cracks running through it already.

And there were bodies - strewn over the floor and the sofas. Four of them, all in Hogwarts uniform.

Her stomach churned and she would have thrown up, had there been anything in her stomach. Her head reeled and if Blaise hadn't been gripping onto her, her legs would've given out.

"Are they..." Her voice sounded far away to her own ears as Blaise led her down the spiral staircase.

"Yes." He avoided looking at the lifeless body draped over the edge of the armchair as they passed it.

Elara recognised the first year's blank eyes and stumbled.

"Is that -"

"Yes."

Pansy's younger brother.

"Where is she?" Elara gasped out, her heart thudding so loudly in her chest, she was sure Blaise could hear it.

"I don't know. I need to find her - and Theo."

He pressed his ear to the wall and Elara realised that they'd reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

He tapped the wall. It slid up, revealing the staircase that Elara knew would lead up into the dungeon corridor.

"Find a way out of here," Blaise told her, gruffly, hobbling up the stairs. "I'm going to find Pansy and Theo."

Elara almost tripped over her own two feet as she followed him up the stairs, her stomach curled with nausea. "Draco -"

"Don't  _ fucking  _ try to find him, Jacobs." Blaise halted and turned to face her, fingers digging into her arm.

The pain grounded her a little and she took a deep breath, realising her cheeks were damp. Had she been crying this entire time?

"Do you hear me?" Blaise shook her, seizing her by the shoulders. "Don't try to find him. Get your friends and get  _ out  _ of this fucking castle, Jacobs."

Harry had been right. Voldemort had attacked Hogwarts. He was probably in this castle right now.

"Get out," Blaise growled, dark eyes two pits of danger. "Get  _ out  _ or you'll end up just like everybody else in there."

He jerked his head back towards the common room and she wondered how he wasn't falling apart, having seen his home for the past six years torn to shreds, his housemates dead.

He dragged her up the rest of the staircase, pausing to glance down the hallway on either side before turning to face her.

"Go," he said and the look in his obsidian eyes told her he wasn't expecting to leave this castle alive. "And - I'm -" He took a breath, hissing in pain at his leg. "I'm sorry for - everything."

It was a shitty apology - rushed and in no way sufficient for the things he'd said to her the past few years. She normally would've scoffed and sent a witty jab his way - but right now, her head was spinning and her stomach was desperately trying not to contract inwards on itself.

So Elara inhaled a shuddering breath, her wand still in her hand and in a quick movement, reached out to squeeze his hand with her free one once.

If they were going to die, there was no place for bad blood.

Especially when it seemed theirs would be spilled tonight.

He got the message and gave her a curt nod before turning and limping down the corridor.

Elara watched him go before she turned and headed in the opposite direction.

_ Amelia. Freya. _

She needed to find them, get them out. She turned the corner of the corridor, her feet carrying her around it, her mind still reeling.

_ "Duck!" _

Her Quidditch reflexes kicked in and Elara threw herself to the floor just as a green spell went spiralling over her head from behind her.

She gasped and whirled onto her back, pushing herself up into a sitting position and scrambling backwards, her wand slashing through the air to send two consecutive spells towards the Death Eater standing at the opposite end of the corridor.

He flicked them aside and sent one over her head - at Neville - and then aimed one at her, stalking closer.

Elara gritted her teeth and blocked it just as the Death Eater shot another one at her - green.

She rolled out of the way and sent three over her shoulder, remembering the way Draco had taught her to, her pulse pounding.

"Stupefy!"

The Death Eater went flying backwards, crashing into the wall with a sickening crunch before sliding down, motionless.

Elara scrambled to her feet just as Neville reached her, one hand outstretched to hold her shoulder and steady her.

"You okay?" he panted, a trail of blood zigzagging down from his temple.

"Fine," she breathed. "Thanks."

He shook his head. "If you hadn't distracted him with those three spells, we'd be dead right now."

"Neville," Elara gasped, pressing a hand over her heart to try and calm it. "What the  _ fuck  _ is going on?"

Neville sobered, his warm eyes turning into something darker. "Death Eaters. They got in - we don't know how. We were all sitting in the common room - minus Harry - and we were drinking Firewhiskey to celebrate - you know, the Quidditch Cup. And then suddenly, there was screaming and the wards were down and there were Death Eaters all over -"

"Wait,  _ what?" _

"Elara!"

Neville and Elara whirled, clutching their wands to find Harry stumbling towards them, Ron by his side.

"Harry -"

"They're killing everyone," Ron was breathing hard. "First years, seconds - it doesn't  _ fucking  _ matter. The courtyard is a fucking battlefield -"

But Harry's eyes were fixed on Elara's in such an intense manner that she barely heard Ron. In an instant, her Ravenclaw brain pieced things together.

_ The wards are down. _

The only person who had put up the wards was Albus Dumbledore. Wards were a deep kind of magic. If they had disappeared, so had Dumbledore.

Not disappeared -  _ died. _

Her gut twisted but she forced herself to keep thinking. There was more - there had to be more.

Harry's eyes, green and alight with - with what?

Despair and - anger.

At her?

No. No but at someone - close.

Her heart thudded to a stop as her sharp brain moved the pieces around until they formed a picture.

_ No. _

It couldn't be. There was no way -

"Dumbledore is dead," Harry gasped out, wincing as he clutched his side, his dark hair sticking up in four different directions. "He's dead. Snape killed him."

Neville's mouth dropped open and he swayed on his feet. Ron reached out to grasp his shoulder.

Elara's head spun and she reached out, placing a hand flat against the wall.

Dumbledore - dead. She'd never had much contact with the Headmaster like Harry had - but he had been an integral part of Hogwarts. He was responsible for making it her home.

"How..." She tried to speak, found her voice too weak and made another effort. "How did they get in?"

Harry's eyes shifted into something akin to rage and she nearly passed out as her suspicions were confirmed.

In that moment, she hated that she was a Ravenclaw - hated that she could read people and be three steps ahead of them, knowing what they were going to say, how they were going to act, reading facial expressions and body language to determine what was going to happen next.

She hated that she had had to come to the conclusion herself - without Harry saying even a word. It would have been easier if he'd been the one to tell her, sprung it upon her before she could deduce it herself, the realisation that she'd let herself be used tearing what little of her heart that was left.

She hated herself.

Hated that a silver-eyed boy had lured her in with lazy smiles and gentle fingertips. Had kept her there with heartbreaking words and soft kisses.

Her whole life, she'd always been three steps ahead of everyone.

But not Draco Malfoy.

"No." Elara's voice broke as her and Harry kept looking at each other, his expression torn, hers disbelieving. "No - Harry, it can't be him -"

"It is." His voice didn't waver although he winced as he straightened up, still holding his side. "I was there."

A sob curled in Elara's chest. She barely kept it at bay.

She didn't even realise she'd asked question until Harry answered.

"Astronomy Tower."

Elara's breathing stopped. Draco had single-handedly ruined the place she considered her home inside a home.

"Even if the wards are down," Neville was saying, "it should take them a while to get to the castle. We can block the entrances -"

"It's no fucking use," Ron cut him off as she came back to reality, watching as the redhead supported Harry who still had a hand pressed to his side although some of the colour had returned to his face. "They just keep coming and we don't even know how they're getting into the castle so quick -"

"Vanishing Cabinet."

Her voice was stronger than she'd expected and all three boys turned to face her.

"What?" Ron asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"Room of Requirement. There's a Vanishing Cabinet in there. Draco -" She paused on his name, swallowed it down like bile. "Malfoy repaired it."

_ I helped. _

The thought was enough to bring her to her knees and she leaned, heavily, against the wall, her breathing erratic.

"That's where they're coming from," she went on, knowing that was the only explanation. "You have to destroy it."

The silence hung in the air, threatening to swallow her whole and she heaved for breath, shutting her eyes.

_ Draco - Draco, how could you - _

"I'll do it." Neville sounded determined. "I'll get rid of it."

"You'll need a group," Harry told him, grunting in pain. "The Room of Requirement will be swarming with Death Eaters."

"I'll take some of the DA," Neville said, already backing away. "Last I saw, Dean was battling in the fourth floor corridor. We'll gather some people -" He vanished around the corner, calling over his shoulder. "Don't worry!"

Elara was overcome with a wave of nausea and forced it down, pressing a hand to her mouth.

"Elara..." Harry's hand was reaching for hers.

"Is he here?" she asked, pulling her hand away, feeling like she would scream if someone touched her. "Voldemort. Is he here?"

If Draco had let  _ him  _ into the castle, she'd -

Harry blew out a breath and shook his head. "No. My scar hasn't even burned once. He isn't here but -" He trailed off, staring at the floor.

Elara finished the sentence for him.

"But the Death Eaters are doing a good enough job anyway?" she asked and Ron nodded, distraught.

"That's probably why he isn't here," she continued, grasping her wand tighter in her hand and beginning to continue down the corridor, opposite to the direction Neville had gone. "He knows how vulnerable we are - knows he doesn't have to waste his energy coming here."

"I'll kill him," Harry told her but she wasn't interested in hearing his promises. She'd ceased to believe any just a few moments ago. "I will."

"Where are you going?" Ron called after her as she strode down the corridor, thoughts zipping through her mind at such an insane speed she could barely discern them.

"Astronomy Tower," she called back over her shoulder. "I have a score to settle."

  
  



	51. fifty one

DRACO MALFOY HAD PICKED THE WRONG GIRL.

Climbing up to the Astronomy Tower had never been so hard - although getting there had been easier than expected.

Elara had stayed close to the walls, creeping down abandoned hallways of the castle until she burst into the courtyard.

Ron had been right. It was a battlefield.

She was barely able to tell who was who, the air thick with dust and green and red spells streaking through the air, blood-curdling screams causing goosebumps to erupt on her skin.

Elara did all she could as she followed the crumbling walls around the courtyard, shooting Stunning spells at any Death Eater within reach. It was difficult to see through the smog so she couldn't do much in fear she'd hit one of the teachers or the other students.

She knew the Death Eaters wouldn't waste the opportunity if their opponent was distracted.

But now, as she ascended the stairs she'd climbed so many times before - back in the beginning when she'd been training with Draco, later to have him press her against the wall and kiss her feverishly, even sometimes to cry while the moon watched - the battle was the farthest thing from her mind.

She kept her wand in her hand, not knowing if he was on his own, and made sure to keep her footsteps quiet.

But when she emerged onto the landing in the ramparts, there was only Draco and he was alone.

She expected her heart to pound in her chest, expected her blood to rush in her ears and her fingers to tremble at the sight of his broad back and white-blond hair, the moonlight making it gleam.

But all she felt was numbness. It spread outward from her chest, curled low in her stomach, extended to the tips of her fingers where she clutched her wand.

"You're a fucking bitch, Malfoy."

Even her voice sounded different - like someone else speaking through her.

Draco was whirling around instantly, his wand arm raising.

She disarmed him in a split second. His wand slammed into the wall and clattered to the ground.

His eyes should've made her feel something: wide and panicked and almost despaired as he took her in, his lips parting.

Elara moved forward, keeping her wand raised and pointed straight at him. His eyes, illuminated by the moonlight, flickered down to the wand and then back up to hers.

"Elara..." He sounded like he'd been crying and raised his hands up in surrender as she came closer, her teeth clenched. "Elara, what the fuck are you -"

"You used me." It was three words that should've ripped her heart out all over again but all she felt was exhaustion, creeping into her bones. "You used me to help you repair that fucking cabinet and I was too fucking  _ blind  _ to see it."

His eyes widened slightly before he shut them and she noticed the tremor in his hand. She'd obviously caught him at a bad time.

Then, he opened them again, two swirling pools of molten silver that had once enthralled her and lured her into their depths.

But she was smarter now and she would not let herself be dragged down into them.

He didn't flinch when the tip of her wand came into contact with his chin, forcing it up.

"Why are you helping them?" she demanded, her fingers curling tighter around her wand, the other hand forming a fist. "You fucking  _ coward -" _

Draco's hand spasmed next to his face. "They would've killed my mother."

Elara's lungs heaved as she took in the boy in front of her, tall and broken and seeming like he wanted to die.

He looked pale and exhausted, eyes lined with red, purple rings under them. His hair was tousled by the wind, a muscle in his jaw twitching every few seconds, his shoulders rigid.

She almost forgot they'd been together just a few hours ago in his room. He looked like he'd aged five years since then.

"How did you get out?" he asked, his voice so quiet as he looked at her, sounding pained.

"Blaise," she said, curtly. "You were going to leave me in there to die, weren't you? I think I deserve better than  _ that,  _ seeing as I -"

His hand came up around her wand, pushed it away. "I locked you in there to keep you  _ safe." _

Elara laughed - a cold, humourless laugh that echoed off the walls around them.

"Oh?" she mocked, digging the tip of her wand back into his chin and he tried to jerk his head away but she followed the movement, making sure her wand stayed where it was. "So trapping me in a room and letting a  _ Death Eater  _ corner me was you keeping me safe, was it?"

Her lip curled with disdain. "That may be the biggest lie you've told yet." She pretended to think, chewing on her lip. "Oh, wait - No, I think the  _ 'You make it easier to breathe'  _ sob story was the best, don't you?"

She gave him a sickly sweet smile. "Creative, that one. You sure you're not in Ravenclaw?"

Draco's jaw tightened.

"Was that even true?" Her voice was suddenly hoarse. "The story about your mother? Or was that another clever lie to rope me in -"

"Why would I?"

His question threw her off and she went rigid, her wand still at his throat, her other hand beginning to tremble.

"Why would I want to keep you around?" he demanded, meeting her eyes, stoic. "You'd already given me the spell to fix the cabinet. Why would I want to make you stay?"

Elara's head was beginning to ache. "Sex is a very big part of your agenda," she hissed back, jabbing the tip of her wand in a little deeper. "And now that I think about it, we never had a conversation that didn't end in fucking each other -"

"That's a lie," he interrupted, smoothly, raising an eyebrow at her.

He was right - quiet conversations in the morning while they lay in bed or as they basked in hot water in the bathtub or sitting on the shore by the Great Lake, skipping stones, came to mind. She chucked them away.

"Doesn't feel nice, does it?" she retorted, another cruel smile playing on her lips. "Being lied to?"

Draco stiffened and exhaled, slowly. He looked like he wanted to pitch himself off the Astronomy Tower and Elara realised with a start that he might have been about to do just that when she walked in.

"I locked you in that room to protect you," he said, quietly, seemingly unbothered that her wand was pressing into his throat. "No one could open that door but Blaise, Theo and I. The Charm prevents anybody else from removing it."

Elara's breathing deepened.

"I didn't want -  _ this."  _ He raised his hand again, pushed her wand away and she let it fall, taking a few steps back. "I didn't want you to get caught in the cross-fire."

"You forced me straight into the middle of the war, Draco," she spat and cursed inwardly for using his first name. "You  _ made  _ me help you kill - kill Dumbledore -"

"I didn't kill him," Draco said, his eyes dimming. "Snape did."

Elara stared at him, her mind reeling.

"I'm sure the Dark Lord will punish my mother for that mistake of mine," he added, low and rough.

Elara faltered, her head throbbing. How dare he look so broken? How  _ dare  _ he act like  _ he _ was the victim when he had torn her apart in a blink of an eye?

"He's holding your mother hostage."

Draco looked away. "No."

_ No? _

"What? So she's - she's  _ willingly  _ serving -"

The words died in her throat as it dawned on her, her heart slowing to a stop.

Because Draco wasn't just helping Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

He was one of them.

Elara stumbled back like she'd been cursed, her eyes widening. She was going to shatter - she couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take deciphering the lies and the treachery one by one.

Draco watched her with that tragic look in his eye.

"No -" she gasped out, one hand moving to clutch her shirt over her heart to try and ease the ache. "No - you can't be - you're  _ not -" _

Her eyes stung. Slender fingers undoing tangles in her hair, thumb grazing over her cheekbone before warm lips met hers as they lay in silk sheets, his heartbeat steady against her hand. Small smiles against her mouth, promises of  _ 'mine'  _ and  _ 'perfect'  _ when he made love to her underneath supernovas and stars.

He had been a Death Eater the entire time - a loyal servant to none other than the darkest wizard of all time. While he'd been wrapped up with her, laughing when she pressed butterfly kisses all over the scars on his chest, he'd been serving the person who'd made their lives hell - who had tortured and killed so,  _ so  _ many -

"I had no choice. I tried to keep you away - it's why I called things off at the beginning of the year. I didn't want this, Elara."

His voice was too quiet and it made Elara want to curl up in a ball and sob for eternity.

She wouldn't let herself. She straightened, dropping her hand from over her heart. "Show me."

Draco hesitated, his eyes closing for a moment. "Elara -"

" _ Show me."  _ Her wand was back up, pointed straight at his chest.

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth. Then, his fingers moved to the cuff of his left sleeve. Curled around it, the snake and dragon rings on his fingers glinting and then he was pulling his sleeve up to his forearm.

Elara's breath left her lungs.

Because it wasn't just the Dark Mark.

The black ink swirled over his skin, forming the skull and the snake curling around it, a stark contrast to Draco's pale skin. It was ugly and haunting and an image that would be burned into her memory for the rest of her life.

But carved into the Dark Mark, and on the white skin around it, were scars - scars so misshapen and deep that they could only have been made by his own hands. They were bleeding, dark red blood staining the skin in rivulets, staring back at Elara as if trying to show her how much he'd given up to keep his mother safe.

He let the sleeve drop back over the mangled skin and she wondered how she'd never seen blood under his nails.

Her vocal cords wouldn't work, frozen into submission by the sight of what they'd done to him - and then by what  _ he'd  _ done to himself.

But she'd  _ seen  _ him - so many times she'd seen his forearm and the skin had been pristine and smooth -

"I charmed it," he said, heavily, reading her like he always did. "I couldn't look at it myself."

Elara's stomach heaved and she pressed a quivering hand over her mouth.

He had made love to her in emerald green sheets, knowing that on his left arm, right next to her head, there was a jet-black pledge to the Dark Lord and then torn skin, a promise to hate himself for eternity.

"He's punishing my father for his mistakes," Draco said finally and this time, his voice shook. His right hand curled into a fist, as if he was trying to refrain from digging his nails into the Dark Mark to try and get it out. "He forced me to do this - to find a way to let them in and - kill Dumbledore."

He was beginning to sound desperate like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

"And if I didn't -" His throat bobbed, something wild in his eyes all of a sudden. "If I didn't, he'd torture my mother. Rape her. Kill her. How - How the  _ fuck  _ was I supposed to let that happen, Elara?"

His words jolted herself out of her daze. "You should have asked for  _ help,"  _ she hissed, her wand hanging uselessly from her hand by her side. "The man that you killed could've helped -"

"I didn't kill him -"

"You let them into the castle, Draco! You might as well have cast the spell yourself."

He shuddered, hands coming up to push through his hair, almost violently. "He would've killed her -"

"And now he's going to kill hundreds more," she whispered, dread making her sick to the stomach. "Children. Kids. First years. I don't - are you willing to let Amelia die, Draco?"

His hands dropped from his hair and his shoulders rose, rapidly, as he stared at her.

Her sister had been taking lessons with a  _ Death Eater.  _ Elara forced down the urge to hurl.

"So it's come down to this, hmm?" she scoffed, amazed that she didn't feel any remorse for him. "You or them? You or -  _ us?" _

Because she was included. She'd be among those who died tonight. She just hoped she could help her sisters and friends first.

It would all come down to nothing. He would remain a Death Eater and she would be dead. There was no other way this night would end.

"It wasn't a  _ choice,"  _ he ground out, glancing away, tortured. "Voldemort doesn't give you a fucking  _ choice -" _

She stepped forward and slapped him. She didn't even realise she had until her hand began to sting with the force and his head whipped to the side, his lips parting.

Elara stood there, her shoulders heaving, ripped apart into pieces. His cheek glowed an angry red and he slowly brought one hand up to it, as if he couldn't believe she'd actually done it.

"That's for lying to me," she hissed, feeling herself choke up. Draco didn't turn his head back to her, eyes on the floor, one hand curling into a fist.

"Elara -" He began to look back at her and she raised her hand and did it again.

He let her and his throat bobbed, his eyes shutting. She could see his control slipping.

"That's for using me," she whispered, harshly. Her hand came up again but this time, his shot out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist to stop her.

The touch seared into her skin like a flame. Memories of skin on skin, warm and comforting, under a starry ceiling -

She shoved them away into the darkest crevice in her mind. There was no place for them anymore.

His expression was blank as he looked down at her, her hand still poised right next to his cheek where she'd been about to hit him for the third time.

Elara gritted her teeth and yanked her hand out of her grip, watching as his fell back to his side and then whipped her hand across his cheek again, enjoying the sting before she stepped back.

"And  _ that's  _ for destroying my home."

Elara backed away, watching as he slowly turned his head back to face her, eyes wary, not looking too bothered about the fact that she'd slapped him thrice. The silence was suffocating.

"Let me get you out." His tone was laced with desperation and she realised he was begging, taking one step closer.

She took two back.

"I can get you out," he breathed, silver eyes alight with an unidentifiable emotion. "I know how to - without them seeing. Please -  _ please -  _ let me get you out."

Elara's fingers trembled as she looked back at him, at his haunted features, the treacherous lips that told lies whenever convenient.

She loved him so much, she hated him. She hated herself. How had she let herself love a monster?

"You're exactly like your father."

She hadn't meant to say it - had only been thinking it - but now it was out there and everything in Draco broke.

He flinched, retreating back a step, his back pressing against the railing.

She fought the urge to reach out and grab him, bring him back from the edge.

And she could see the agony on his face - the way she'd slashed through him like a sword, exactly how he did to her. Recognised the way his hand shook as he reached up to rub the left side of his chest - as if it ached.

Ached like hers did.

Maybe they  _ were _ made for each other. Made to ruin one another. In some sick, cruel twist of fate.

But like her - he carried pain well. Even if it was heavy.

His hand dropped, his back straightening and she saw the mask slip onto his features, even as hers did.

No longer Draco and Elara.

Just Malfoy and Jacobs.

"Let me get you out." His tone was clipped, harsh.

"How?" Hers was just as cold.

He hesitated - just a second - but there was no more time for weakness. She could see the resolve in his silver eyes.

"Behind the tapestry in the dungeon corridor - next to the entrance to the common room. There's a secret passageway. It'll open up into Hogsmeade. It's the only one they don't know about."

"How do I know you're not lying?" she demanded, even as she prayed he wasn't. It might be the only way out for her loved ones.

"I locked you in that fucking room to keep you safe, Jacobs. I'm not asking you to forgive me - I'm just asking you to save yourself."

Her nails carved crescents into her palms. "Hogsmeade -"

Draco shook his head, icy as ever. "It's safe. I -" He stopped, abruptly, clenched his jaw. She knew what he'd been about to say.

_ I promise. _

Like she'd promised him under the starry night sky on the balcony of a hotel somewhere in London - to love him forever.

"Please," he said again, quietly, although his expression was unreadable. Gone was the tortured, tragic boy. "If you don't - you end up either dead or captured and out of the two -"

He halted again, shut his eyes for a moment before snapping them open again. "You'd be better off dead."

Elara didn't want to know what Death Eaters did to their prisoners.

She wondered vaguely if Draco had ever tortured someone the way they had.

"You have to go." He swallowed, turned away to face the railing, where they'd leaned shoulder to shoulder so many times.

"Snape," Elara ignored him. "How did you know?"

The muscles in his back stiffened, the silence that descended over them enough to crush them both.

She took a few steps closer, tilted her head to see his expression. The corner of his lips quirked up in a smile - sad and regretful for half a second.

"DADA," he said and her eyebrows furrowed. "The practical - the duel."

Elara's mind was sluggish as she tried to piece together what he was saying.

"When I was in your head - when I used Legilimency."

Her knees nearly gave out.

"I didn't mean to," he murmured, eyes far off and she knew he was remembering the moment. "But it was at the front of your mind and I just -  _ saw  _ it."

Elara knew why. Draco had been late - Snape had scolded him, Draco had apologised and bowed his head. Snape had softened and Elara had thought of how the professor seemed to want to help the Malfoy heir.

So when Draco had entered her mind to goad her on about the duel - the first thing he'd seen was Snape and the memories associated with him.

It was why she'd been able to beat him in the duel - he'd been caught off guard. And had distanced himself from her afterwards.

But he hadn't been angry at her. Instead, he'd understood that she'd had no choice. He had been more concerned about tearing  _ her  _ apart - like he'd said in the room a few hours back.

"It doesn't make sense," she forced out, stomach churning. "Why have me spy on you - if Snape's on your side?"

"He knew I needed help fixing the cabinet," Draco answered, bowing his head to look at the floor between his shoes and the railing. "It was either Granger - or you. The two brightest witches in the school."

He turned to face her, lips slightly upturned as if he were recalling a fond memory. "Granger was definitely out - she hates me with a burning passion. So it was you. He set you up."

A memory flashed in Elara's mind and she struggled to drag it up from the depths of her despair.

_ "- but you have to, Severus." _

_ "You can't ask this of me. To cast it, I must mean it -" _

_ " - well aware but you know it must be you. Think of Lily - think of how much you'd be doing for her..." _

Snape and Dumbledore. The pieces slid into place.

But -  _ why? _

She shook the question away, opening her mouth to say something but Draco beat her to it.

"You used me just like I used you, Jacobs."

Elara bristled, stiffening and tightening her hand around her wand. "Don't you  _ dare  _ compare us -"

"Snape forced you - you had no choice," Draco went on, not paying any heed to her words. "Neither did I."

Elara's fists clenched. "I'm not killing hundreds of children and destroying Hogwarts, Malfoy. All  _ I _ had to do was -"

"Really?" he drawled, eyes glittering like stones as he stood up straighter and stepped forward. "Weren't you the one who gave me the spell to fix the Vanishing Cabinet?"

He watched as she inhaled, sharply.

"I barely needed to convince you," he murmured, his voice edged like a blade. "You'd do anything for me."

Elara's chest contracted so suddenly, she felt like she was going to pass out.

"But I'll give it to you. I had no suspicion that  _ you  _ could be playing  _ me  _ too. You looked so genuine - the way you told me you -"

_ The way you told me you loved me. _

He never finished the sentence. Instead, he went on. "And the fucking - the fucking  _ 'You're the chosen one for me'  _ bullshit. Ingenious. I nearly fell for it when you said it."

His voice sounded like it was coming from far away, like she was underwater.

"But you were only using me to save yourself from expulsion." The irony was not lost on her and she knew he recognised it too. "It was a clever little game, wasn't it?"

Elara reached up to press her hand to her head, her skin frighteningly cold. The pain in her head was only increasing, her chest tightening with each breath she tried to take.

She recognised the beginnings of a panic attack and forced it away.

"You played well, Jacobs," he said, quietly, suddenly standing right in front of her. Her vision cleared and she made to step back, found the desk digging into her back, preventing her from going anywhere. "But I play to win - or I don't play at all."

The words she'd thrown at him in the adrenaline rush of a Quidditch game.

It was over. They'd both showed their hand.

Elara met Draco's eyes, the earth meeting the moon, one last time and tried to memorise the way he looked, haunted and tragic.

Taut jaw and chiseled features and the burning look of self-hatred in his eyes, rimmed with red.

And she knew - just like he did - that in some messed up, twisted way, they both cared about each other - it was why he'd locked her in the room, why he wanted to get her out of this castle.

But Elara was so tired of caring - so tired of giving her all to him, only for him to turn around and spit in her face.

"If you care about me in the  _ slightest,"  _ she whispered, not taking her eyes off his and gripping her wand tighter, "then if I'm captured - you'll kill me."

Then, she was sliding out from in front of him, backing away towards the staircase, saw the flash of despair on his face as he realised she wasn't going to save herself.

But then she was gone, the only image in her mind that of a broken, silver-eyed boy with a wicked smile and mangled skin over black ink.

  
  



	52. fifty two

ELARA WATCHED FIONA DIE.

She'd plunged straight into the heat of the battle, locking away the urge to climb back up to the Astronomy Tower and kiss Draco one last time.

She remembered the helpless look in his eye, the way he'd clutched the railing with white knuckles as if he wanted to throw himself over it.

But then a green spell came spiralling at her and she jumped out of the way, the breath leaving her, swiftly, and sent one back, sending the Death Eater spiralling into one of the arches of the courtyard.

"Confringo!"

It was Luna's voice and Elara swerved to find the blond witch, standing behind her, having hexed a Death Eater who had been closing in.

The Ravenclaw witch was bruised and bloody, one eye purple, a gash on her lip.

She gave Elara a flashing smile anyway and turned to shoot a spell at a Death Eater cornering Ernie Macmillan.

Elara coughed through the dust and scanned the courtyard, taking in the cloaked figures of the Death Eaters dueling with the Hogwarts students - who were managing to hold their own.

Elara noticed most of the students left standing were part of the DA. But it was a losing fight - for every Death Eater that went down, another took their place.

She sensed him before she saw him and whirled to face a short, squat Death Eater emerging from the rubble of a decimated wall.

"Stup -" The words died in her throat.

The spell hit her straight in the back and she crumbled, the breath leaving her lungs, as she felt a large gash open across her shoulder, the skin ripping open.

She screamed as the pain tore through her body, feeling blood pour down her back, and her palms pressed hard into the floor beneath her, the rocks cutting into her palms.

Out of the corner of her vision, she saw another spell spiral towards her and forced her muscles to move, twisting out of the way and gasping in agony at the pain in her shoulder.

One of the Death Eaters laughed - she couldn't tell if it was the short one in front of her or whoever had hit her in the back. She could hear them both stalking closer, predators hunting prey.

She'd die here. She'd die in this courtyard at the hands of one of them. Maybe they'd take pity and make it quick -

"Stupefy!"

The Death Eater behind her suddenly careened past Elara, slamming into the rubble that the short one had just emerged from and Elara took the opportunity to raise her wand and send a  _ Confringo. _

The squat Death Eater dodged it and advanced, casting spells over her at Fiona who had just saved her life.

Elara couldn't see her but she recognised her voice. The same voice that met her during early Quidditch practices with a bright smile and the same voice that comforted them whenever they lost. She'd brought butterscotch cookies for them a few times - they'd shared it sitting in the grass of the Quidditch pitch.

The blood was hot and sticky against Elara's back and she gritted her teeth, trying to lift her wand arm again and failing, the pain almost blinding.

Fiona was keeping the Death Eater preoccupied - Elara could make out her petite frame now, appearing in the corner of her vision, ducking as a spell went barrelling over her head.

Again, Elara summoned her strength but her head swam and she was collapsing onto the stones, the large gash in the back of her shoulder widening with each movement as she heaved for breath.

The skin was ripped from one end of her shoulder diagonally down to the middle of her back - she could feel the blood cascading down her skin, sticky and hot, and vaguely registered that she would die from loss of blood soon.

_ But Fiona - _

Elara forced herself onto her palms again, a loud sob ripping from her throat at the agony that shot through her back and raised her head.

" _ Avada kedavra!" _

"No!" Elara shrieked, her wand arm coming up by reflex, the gash opening wider on her back, blood spurting from it, and a ragged gasp left her lips as she stunned the squat Death Eater.

But not before Fiona's body fell with a thud to the right of Elara, the sound the first of many that would haunt her dreams.

"Fiona -" Elara's throat closed up so violently, she felt she was going to suffocate. She dragged herself over to the fourth year Ravenclaw, reached for her limp hand. " _ Fiona." _

But her friend's eyes were open and unseeing, her mouth parted with her last breath, dark skin gleaming with sweat.

A sob wracked Elara's chest and her tears fell onto Fiona's face as she bent her head, the stabbing pain in her back making her lungs constrict.

She just wanted to lay there - just lie down there, next to Fiona, and wait for death to take her so the aching in her heart and her back would  _ stop - _

A hand gripped her shoulder and she gasped, her fight or flight instinct kicking in and twisted to point her wand straight at Stuart's face.

He was yelling something, panicked, but Elara couldn't even hear him through her daze, her body desperately wanting to sink to the ground and pass out.

The pain was making her dizzy now and she gasped out a breath, swaying on her knees but Stuart steadied her, grasping her elbows and yanking her up, shooting a spell over her shoulder at a Death Eater.

_ No - No. _

She couldn't lose consciousness - she had to get her sisters out, give her friends a fighting chance.

She stumbled to her feet, muffling a scream at the pain, and sent two consecutive spells at a Death Eater dueling with Paul Flint behind Stuart.

"Come on," Stuart was saying in her ear, half-hauling her towards the nearest exit of the courtyard. "Come on, Elara - you have to -"

"Stupefy!" Luna was by Elara's other side, knocking aside a Death Eater who had just appeared in the archway they were heading towards.

Elara felt both her friends slip their arms through hers, dragging her the rest of the way.

Her vision dipped in and out, her head drooping forward, her shirt soaked with blood now, the wound on her shoulder opening wider with every breath.

"Here!"

She heard Stuart exclaim and their direction changed.

"Bloody hell - what the fuck happened?"

It was Cho's voice and then Elara was being laid down and her shirt was being removed by Luna's deft fingers.

She lay there, gasping in her own blood as it pooled around her, her breaths staggered and heavy.

"Stuart, it's too dangerous to heal her here -"

"She'll  _ die -" _

"We have to take her to the infirmary - Madam Pomfrey -"

"The infirmary is destroyed - I don't even know if Madam Pomfrey is alive -"

"She is." That was Luna. "I saw her dueling with Snape at the wooden bridge -"

"Cho -  _ do it.  _ I'll keep watch."

Elara heard Cho inhale, deeply. The stickiness faded on her back.

"What is it like?" Stuart sounded further away now like he was facing the other direction. The concern in his voice was evident.

"Deep - but I can -"

Elara felt the tip of a wand at her shoulder, heard Cho mutter something under her breath.

Immediately, an icy feeling washed over her, making her inhale, sharply, as the injury began to seal, the pain of muscles mending and skin stitching enough to make Elara black out again.

She came to a minute later and found Luna and Cho helping her into a sitting position, slipping on her newly cleaned shirt over her head.

Stuart finally turned as Elara's vision cleared and his hazel eyes immediately morphed into relief as he saw her alive and breathing.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, grasped her good shoulder. "Alright?"

She nodded, knowing there was no time to waste. Every second cost a life from their side.

"Stuart," she forced out, gritting her teeth at the pain. "Freya - Amelia -"

"They're safe," he reassured her and she nearly sobbed in relief but pushed on.

"Get them out," she told him, trying to get to her feet but faltering at the ache in her shoulder.

"We can't," Cho said, despaired. "All the exits are blocked -"

"Dungeon corridor. Behind the tapestry. Next to the Slytherin -" She hissed as she finally rose to her feet, Cho and Luna supporting her on either side. "Slytherin common room. It leads to Hogsmeade and it's - safe."

She desperately hoped Draco hadn't been lying.

Stuart's expression immediately morphed from worried to determined. "I'll get them out."

Elara straightened, slightly, letting go of Cho and Luna and trying not to sway on her feet. "Take Indigo and Tracy. Take as many as you can."

"I'll help." Cho reached out to grab Stuart's hand and Elara saw him squeeze it once.

"Elara - come with us," Stuart pleaded but Elara shook her head, realising with an ache that this would probably be the last time she saw them.

"No," she replied, firmly, surprised her voice was that strong. "Go. We don't have time."

Stuart hesitated but Cho was quick and was already pulling him out of the deserted corridor they'd brought Elara into to heal her.

Elara watched her friends go, silently hoping they'd get out alive.

"Luna." She turned to face the dreamy-eyed witch who now looked worn out and haggard. "Luna - find Hermione. Tell her to find Lucy White - she knows who she is - and meet me by the Great Hall in half an hour."

Luna didn't question it, much to Elara's relief.

She gave her one last hug and then retreated, giving her a soft, encouraging smile and then disappeared down the corridor.

Elara took a deep breath, clutched her wand tighter in her hand and exhaled.

Then, she began to move, stumbling the first few steps due to the throbbing pain in her back. She regained her balance and tried again, steadying herself with her free hand on the wall.

Fiona's dead eyes burned into the front of her mind. Elara choked back a sob and pulled herself along the wall, gaining strength with each step she put down.

Finding Snape wasn't difficult. She made a straight beeline for the Wooden Bridge, thankfully not encountering any Death Eaters head on, although she did stun two who were dueling with two seventh years Elara recognised from Freya's group of friends.

By the time she reached the end of the Wooden Bridge, it was eerily calm.

This seemed to be the only place the Death Eaters hadn't reached yet - they seemed to be busy ravaging the castle and the screams erupted from behind her as she hobbled forward and down the steps where the stone monuments were.

Snape's cape billowed around him as he hurried down the steps carved into the hillside, heading in the direction of Hagrid's hut.

Elara gritted her teeth, stumbling down the first few steps, the cool night air stinging her cheeks and the spell she aimed hit him straight in the back, his wand flying out of his hands.

He whirled, the moonlight illuminating his hooked nose and beady black eyes and stared up at Elara as she descended the steps towards him.

His expression was blank as he watched her, his upper lip curling. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Jacobs?"

Elara lifted her wand again, kept it aimed at his chest. "You killed him."

Snape's eyes flickered as he stood below her, the wind picking up his cape and it spread out like bat wings around him.

"You killed Dumbledore," she repeated, trying not to wince as her shoulder ached from the position of her arm. "You're a Death Eater."

Snape stayed silent, pallid and haggard.

Elara took another step down, still keeping her wand steady. She realised her hands were caked in her own blood and swallowed the urge to hurl.

"But you're a double agent."

Snape's lip curled further.

"I heard the conversation in your office," she went on, her Ravenclaw mind working overtime to bring all the pieces that had been coming together since Harry had told her Dumbledore had died. "Between you and Dumbledore. He was telling you you had to kill him. Why?"

Snape's eyes flicked to his wand, lying a few metres away on the grassy incline.

Elara hissed. "Don't fucking try it,  _ Professor.  _ Your little  _ pawn  _ has been teaching me a lot more than you know."

Snape's eyes bore into hers once again, two obsidian pits. "So that Ravenclaw brain of yours figured it out."

"Of course I  _ figured it out,"  _ Elara bit out, barely restraining herself from hexing him. "Tell me why. Why did Dumbledore have to die?"

Snape surveyed her like a hawk, not even flinching when a loud explosion rocked the ground beneath them, coming from somewhere deep in the castle.

Elara prayed her sisters and friends had gotten out by now.

"He was going to die anyway," Snape finally drawled, eyes dark. "It had to be me."

"To appease Voldemort."

He eyed her, warily. "Yes."

Elara inhaled, deeply, slowly lowering her wand. "Dumbledore trusted you."

"With his life."

"And you took it."

"There was no other way."

Elara swallowed, thickly, glanced up at the moon high above them, casting ghastly shadows around them. "I'm getting really fucking tired of hearing that sentence."

Snape narrowed his eyes at her, moving for his wand, and she let him take it, watching him, warily.

"Why are you here, Jacobs?" he demanded, glancing towards the castle as another explosion emanated from it.

"To warn you," Elara said, quietly, feeling her heart grow heavier in her chest. Fiona's lifeless hand flashed in front of her eyes and she shoved the memory away. "Get Draco and get out of the castle."

Snape blinked at her, looking confused for the first time. "I beg your -"

"Is Narcissa Malfoy here?"

Snape fell silent, seemingly stunned by the authoritative edge to her voice.

"Professor, is Narcissa Malfoy  _ here _ ?" Elara demanded, harshly, her head reeling.

"No."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Get Draco." Her voice was firm and deadly when she spoke, still unable to see Snape as anything but Dumbledore's murderer. "Get Draco and get  _ out.  _ If you don't, you'll both die."

Snape stiffened, glaring at her, looking alot like he did when she spoke out of line in class. "What -"

"I'm going to kill everybody with a Dark Mark in this castle," she cut him off once again, knowing she couldn't waste any more time. "Are there any other double agents I need to know about?"

Snape stared at her, his mouth moving over nothing, no words coming out.

" _ Snape _ ," she snapped, her eyes flashing. "Are there any other -"

"No," he ground out, rage flashing across his face at her tone. "No."

"Then you have twenty minutes," she shot back, steeling herself to begin the journey back to the castle. The wind picked up strands of her hair, dried with blood. "Last I saw him, Draco was at the Astronomy Tower. Get him and  _ leave." _

She turned and took one step back up, hissing under her breath at the pain. "If you don't - I will not be responsible for either of your deaths."

Elara forced her muscles to move, taking the next few steps, despite the way they screamed for rest.

When Snape spoke, it was quiet but the wind carried it to her. "After everything he did?"

Elara froze, her heart pounding a rhythm against her ribs, her mind dragging itself to a far away place.

Silver eyes and wicked smiles. Gentle caresses and the electric touch of his skin against hers -

No.

Helplessness in his eyes. Despair carved into every feature of his face. Black ink and mangled skin, rivers of blood running down his forearm.

_ That  _ was Draco Malfoy.

And after everything he did, she was still trying to save him.

Elara looked over her shoulder at her teacher for the past six years, at the face that had tormented young students for as long as she could remember.

_ For Lily. _

It had been the last words she'd heard Dumbledore say. Snape had done this all - for Lily Potter.

It was maddening - to think Elara Jacobs and Severus Snape shared something in common.

Love was a treacherous thing.

"Always," she said over her shoulder. "Wouldn't you do the same for Lily?"

She saw the emotion flash on Snape's face at her words and she swallowed hard at the rare sight of him looking like she'd cursed him.

She turned away, focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

"Always." She heard Snape mutter under his breath. "How pathetic."

The bored tone was back - the double agent, Dumbledore's murderer sliding back into place. She thought he was a good spy.

Wincing at the agony shooting up her back, Elara called back, "Send me a Patronus once you're out. Twenty minutes, Severus. That's all you have."

She plunged back into the castle, her pulse thumping, wildly.

She focused on the task ahead of her.

_ Hermione. Lucy. _

Elara picked up her pace, jogging down an empty hallway, veering right into a familiar corridor that she'd traipsed down with her friends countless times.

The Potions classroom was unlocked. She shoved the door open and shut it behind her with a click, inhaling a deep breath to calm her nerves.

She was a Ravenclaw. Using her brain was her speciality.

She shut her eyes, conjuring the memory of a huge, dusty book, sprawled open before Hermione and her in the library.

It had been late at night, the moonlight shining in through the windows, the lantern illuminating the fragile pages.

_ Powdered root of Asphodel. _

Elara moved towards the large cabinet behind Slughorn's desk. Her shaking fingers opened the cupboard, rummaged through vials and jars to find the ingredient.

_ Unicorn blood. _

Her hands found the vial of silvery blood.

_ Essence of Daisyroot. _

Easy to find, right at the front.

_ Baneberry. _

The small, red berries glared up at her as she snagged some off the stalks.

_ Fluxweed. Foxglove. _

_ Hemlock. Mandrake Root. Moondew. _

Her mind scrambled for the words she'd poured over with Hermione during all those sleepless nights. They didn't even know if it would  _ work - _

But this was their best shot. Elara knew Hogwarts would fall if she didn't do this. They were severely outnumbered and completely inexperienced.

_ Granian hair. Basilisk venom. _

Elara dropped all the ingredients onto the table where she usually worked in classes - where Draco had been paired up with her. Where he'd taken her - not so long ago - after discovering she liked pain.

He'd had the Dark Mark the entire time.

She forced down the bile that rose in her throat and started brewing.

She didn't need a lot of any of the ingredients, she remembered. Half a cup of basilisk venom, quarter cup unicorn blood. Sprig of Fluxweed, chopped into four equal sized pieces, Mandrake root ground to a fine powder.

The potion smelled strongly metallic when it was done fifteen minutes later and she poured it all into a vial, finding that her memory had served her well.

It looked exactly like it was supposed to - before the last ingredient was added. There would be just enough space to add it in when she got it.

Elara steadied her fingers and placed the vial into the rack, taking one last look at the violet liquid before racing out the door.

Her footsteps echoed down the hallway, her mind racing.

She needed to find Hermione. She silently prayed that she was alright - no one else could help her do this.

Her thoughts drifted to her sisters and she felt tears hit the back of her eyes. She would never even get to say goodbye.

Elara held back the sob and braced herself. This was not the time. She didn't have time to pity herself - she had to do this and save her home -

Her feet carried her around the corner and her heart stopped in her chest.

Because on the opposite side of the corridor, there was a flash of white-blond hair and she almost collapsed in despair.

_ No - no - _

She couldn't see Draco right now. Or ever again. If she did -

If she did, she was terrified she'd never be able to go through with her plan.

Because he would look at her with haunted eyes and she would want to save him. She would want to wrap him in her arms and kiss him and -

Her breath stilled in her chest, her eyes widening at the figure across the corridor - who had now turned to face her.

Her heart faltered and she nearly stumbled. __

He didn't recognise her - of course, he didn't. They'd never met.

_ No, it was impossible  _ -

Because on the other side of the corridor, meeting her eyes with a murderous gleam in his - was none other than Lucius Malfoy.

  
  



	53. fifty three

THEY HAD THE SAME EYES.

It was disorienting to look at - the icy silver that she was so familiar with. His hair was the same colour too, streaming past his shoulders.

But if Draco had that deadly glint in his eyes, Lucius' was twice as dangerous.

Elara weighed her options in the next second. Run and take the longer way around to the Great Hall - or get past Lucius.

And even though she knew running would cost her precious time and every second wasted was another life taken, it wasn't that thought that made her wrap her fingers tighter around her wand.

This man had destroyed Draco. He had broken his son and then turned him into a weapon to be used by Voldemort. He had plagued Draco's life, had induced the burning self-hatred she'd seen in his eyes, had haunted his dreams.

This was the man responsible for Draco's pain - and indirectly, her own.

And she was going to kill him.

The smirk on Lucius' face resembled that of Draco's when he was feeling ruthless - but it was harder, with a murderous edge to it that should have made Elara's throat run dry.

But all it did was spur her on. She'd wipe it off his face.

He expected her to run. She almost smiled at the thought.

"Come to play?" Lucius purred, the wild gleam in his eyes reminding her of a predator that had locked eyes on a weak prey.

The smile that curved on Elara's lips was almost as cruel as his. He thought she was another helpless Hogwarts student, shaking and trembling in her shoes. He didn't even know who she was.

He would by the end of this.

"I do love games," Elara drawled, twirling her wand in her hand as she advanced a few more steps. The crazed smile on Lucius' face dimmed at her tone. "Well? Do get on with it, Lucius. I don't have the luxury of time."

The snarl that morphed onto the older man's features was enough to make anyone quake with fear. But Elara was far past that point.

She wanted his blood spilled.

"Come, kitty," Lucius sneered and she caught the movement of his fingers tightening over his wand, did the same around hers. "Come and be killed."

Red filled her vision as the spell left his wand and Elara blocked it with her own, both spells meeting in the middle of the deserted hallway and fizzling in a burst of red light. Lucius advanced, expression bored, and Elara blocked all three spells he sent towards her, clenching her teeth at the effort.

She sent two Stunning spells spiralling at him and he twisted away from them both, still striding forward, his arm outstretched as he shot two consecutive spells at her. Elara's pulse pounded in her ears as she ducked beneath one and blocked the other, hissing as the force pushed her back a few steps.

"Not so brave now, are you?" Lucius cackled, moving closer, his stance similar to a prowling panther. Another spell honed in on her and Elara jumped out of the way, retaliating with her own.

He flicked it aside, baring his teeth in a maniacal smile and Elara barely managed to dodge the next one he sent. "I must say - it'll be fun to kill you. I always liked it when they put up a fight."

Sweat beaded on Elara's brow and she raised her wand to defend against another spell he shot at her. It rebounded off her shield, went careening into the window on her right, shattering it into pieces. Glass rained down on them both, cutting into skin, but Elara ignored the sting as one buried itself into her arm, another lodging into her injured shoulder.

Lucius was quick - but Elara had the advantage. She knew his fighting style - it was almost exactly the same as Draco's. Sharp, concise movements, fast jabs and almost graceful defenses.

But Draco had taught her exactly how to get past that.

Her wand slashed through the air, three Stunning spells leaving her wand one after the other and then, she pointed her wand at his feet and sent an Expelliarmus.

Lucius barely managed to dodge all four spells, caught off-guard by her quick movements. No other Hogwarts student would've learned how to do this yet.

While he was jumping back from her Expelliarmus, Elara pointed her wand at the nearby window right next to Lucius. "Reducto!"

The window erupted into fractured glass and she ducked her own head, casting a Protego around her, as glass cut into Lucius' face and he howled in pain.

Elara nearly grinned with glee. "Expul - "

But Lucius wasn't a Death Eater for nothing. The spell that hit her chest came out of nowhere and Elara went flying backwards, crashing into the wall behind her with such force she heard her ribs crack.

The pain was dizzying as she fell onto all-fours, her wand a little way away, her lungs desperately reaching for oxygen as her vision swam. It hurt to breathe and she steeled herself, raising her head to meet Lucius' eyes. He was laughing despite the large gash underneath his eye that was streaking crimson down his face.

"Where did you learn to duel like that?" He sauntered closer, glass shards skidding under his boots. "Impressive. I'm surprised a Hogwarts student knows how to cast spells like that - especially a  _ girl - " _

Elara gritted her teeth to stomach the pain in her back and chest and didn't waver from his psychotic gaze as he came closer.

The smile she gave him was equally wild, blood staining her lips. "Draco's a good teacher. He gives his regards."

She took advantage of his shock to lunge for her wand and didn't even turn fully to look at him before she yelled, "Expulso!"

Lucius had no time to defend and went spiralling backwards, ramming into the wall behind him with a sickening crunch. Elara was on her feet in a second, striding forward, sending spell after spell at him, watching as he raised his wand to deflect them.

"Don't - you - dare," Lucius hissed, still managing to send a spell at her despite her onslaught, "take my son's name."

Elara grinned, flicking aside his offense like Draco had taught her to. "Oh, Lucius." She sent a Dark spell at him, watching with satisfaction as it cut open a gash on his chest, making him shout. "You'll find I've taken his name many,  _ many  _ times." The innuendo was clear and she saw the disgust pool in his icy eyes.

Lucius struggled onto his feet but Elara was prepared. "Ventus."

A sharp wind gathered in front of her and went spiralling towards him, shoving him back into the wall, the gash on his chest opening up further at the movement. His eyes were murderous as blood slid down his face - but Elara wasn't done with him yet.

The next spell he aimed at her was green - a Killing Curse - and she dove out of the way, not having expected it when he was bloodied and losing strength with no time to heal himself.

She hit the ground hard, raised her hand to deflect another spell and then directed her wand straight above him. The spell shattered the chandelier above him and he threw himself out of the way as it slammed into the ground with a sound so loud it made Elara's ears pop. She heard him scream as the edge of the chandelier's frame crushed his leg underneath it.

Lucius scrambled to get away, blood dripping onto the floor, as he ripped his leg out from under the huge frame and crawled towards the corner of the hallway but Elara pushed herself to her feet and used her wand to take control of the fire burning in the torches of the broken chandelier and slashed her wand horizontally, making a line of fire roar to life right in front of Lucius' face.

He yelled as it scorched his skin, his wand clattering from his hand, and gripping the side of his face as he fell backward, the ends of his long hair glowing red with embers.

Elara advanced on him, kicking his wand further away from him. "Leaving so soon?" She pouted before her lips formed an edged smile. "I was just starting to enjoy myself."

Lucius glared up at her, one hand clutching the side of his burned face, the other over the wound on his chest, bleeding out onto his hands.

"Take this as a lesson," Elara spat, the rage inside her flaring now that he was defeated and weakened. "To pick the right side next time."

Lucius' teeth were stained with blood as he grinned up at her, the wild look in his eyes still present, even as he was paling. "You haven't won, little girl. Hogwarts will fall and all of you will be  _ dead. _ " His grin grew larger. "I don't see any cost of my allegiance to the Dark Lord."

Elara nearly shuddered. This man was a mental case. He was so full of hatred he was willing to smile in the face of Death. His loyalty to the Dark side would never falter.

She sensed him before she saw him and her head snapped up, the line of fire illuminating her dark eyes as she looked over it and found Draco standing on the other side, far down the corridor.

Her chest heaved for breath, her eyes fixing on him, and he stared back, his expression blank, the flames flickering in his silver eyes. His black attire almost made him blend into the shadows, his white-blond hair the only thing standing out in the dark hallway.

He couldn't see Lucius - nor could Lucius see him - due to the line of fire curling around them, blocking everything waist-down.

Elara's heart pounded, painfully. Lucius scrabbled for his wand but she'd been expecting it and kicked it away from him, sending it skittering through the line of fire and onto the other side, rolling to a stop at Draco's feet.

Her own wand stayed pointed at Lucius' chest, the fire around her emanating heat and making sweat roll down her back, stinging the cuts on her back.

Something flickered in Draco's eyes as he looked down at his father's wand at his feet and then he raised his gaze to hers, slowly, his head still bent.

"The price," Elara said, her words directed at Lucius although her eyes stayed focused on Draco for a moment longer. She looked back down at the man at her feet, wounded and bleeding, the maniacal glint in his eyes.

So like Draco - but so different.

She made sure her voice was loud enough for Draco to hear. "The price of your greed," she hissed, meeting Lucius' eyes, steadily, the taste of blood metallic in her mouth, "is your  _ son." _

She raised her hand, the snake ring that Draco had given her glinting on her finger, and she reveled in the satisfaction it gave her to see the disbelief and shock flicker on his face.

It  _ had  _ been his wife's ring after all.

"You -" he spluttered, his lips red. "You -"

Elara had planned to kill him - but now found it too easy of a way out for the psychotic man lying at her feet.

"Sectumsempra."

She saw Draco take a step forward out of the corner of her eye as deep cuts slashed across Lucius' torso, the noise that escaped him strangled due to the blood bubbling past his lips. She watched his eyes widen as he clawed at his chest, his hands soaked with his own blood as it spurted from him.

Elara twisted her neck, reducing the ache in it, and then spat straight onto Lucius' face, a red stain on the burnt skin of his face. The life was seeping out of him now - she could see it in his ragged gasps and the panicked look in his eyes.

Just like Draco had looked all those months ago, lying on the bathroom floor.

Elara raised her eyes to Draco's, found him unreadable and stoic, hands by his sides.

"And that's for turning him into a monster."

She backed away from Lucius, knowing Draco had heard her, her eyes going back to his father sprawled out on the floor, bleeding to death.

Draco knew it; made no move to help. He just watched Elara with wary eyes as she turned in his direction, having to pass him to head in the direction of the Great Hall.

She must have looked a fright - dried blood on her face and her hair, a cut slicing along her lip, every part of her aching as she strode towards Draco, not even faltering a step. The skin on her hand was singed from the fire. She barely noticed.

"Find Snape," she told him as she came closer, her heart thrumming steadily against her chest as Lucius' gasps echoed along the walls. The fire behind her made Draco's eyes darker and she was unable to read him.

Elara averted her eyes and walked past him, making sure to keep enough distance between them, his words from the Astronomy Tower still echoing in her head.

This would be the last she ever saw of him. The thought brought tears to her eyes even as she tried to force them away, her chest aching.

She loved him. She just wished they'd had more time.

His hand was on her elbow, tugging her back, and she gasped at the pain that shot up to her shoulder but Draco swallowed it as his mouth touched hers.

He pushed her back against the wall, her hands hanging limply by her sides as he kissed her, hard and feverish, and Elara knew this was a goodbye.

So she kissed him back, allowing herself that much. She would never get the chance to kiss him again - or anyone, for that matter.

His hands found their familiar place in her hair, tangling in her long locks and angling her head so he could kiss her better. She fisted his shirt at his sides, her wand still in her hand.

His lips were salty - she didn't know if it was from her tears or the ones he had cried on the Astronomy Tower before she'd found him - but he tasted like Draco and it was making Elara want to collapse and sob.

"I'll never forgive you," she gasped out, her blood on his lips now but he gave her no time to breathe, dipping his head back to press his mouth full against hers. "I'll never -"

"I know." His voice was rough, an octave lower than usual, and she felt the calloused pads of his thumbs graze over her cheekbones. "I know."

For a second, she could pretend they were just Draco and Elara, sneaking off to snog in a deserted corridor in between classes.

But they weren't. They were both weapons now.

And she still had to do some damage.

Elara wrenched away from him, although her body screamed at her to sink back, grab his hand, get out of this castle and run somewhere far away - away from wars and Voldemort and Death Eaters.

But she had caused this. She had helped him do this.

"Snape," she said, backing away from him, her lips burning from his searing kiss. The whole thing couldn't have been more than twenty seconds but it had every nerve in her body sizzling. "Find him."

Draco watched her go with pure regret in his eyes, his hand spasming by his side, and she remembered the Dark Mark under torn skin.

Elara took one last look at him and then turned on her heel and plunged down the next hallway, her heart beating, wildly.

The sob that pushed past her lips was painful even to her own ears. The adrenaline from her duel with Lucius was fading, replaced with exhaustion and the will to give up - to find the nearest alcove and hide there. Let somebody else save Hogwarts.

But there was nobody else. And Harry had to live. To find the Horcruxes.

Elara skidded to a stop as she turned the corner, colliding straight with Hermione who was clutching onto Lucy's hand.

"Elara!" Hermione was bleeding from a cut on her temple but otherwise, looked fine - although she looked worn out beyond belief. "Where have you  _ been?" _

"Lucius Malfoy," was all Elara replied before she seized Lucy's shoulders, the young girl looking terrified as she gazed up at Elara. "Where are the Thestral tears?"

Lucy's lower lip quivered, her big doe eyes round and frightened. "W-What?"

"Thestral tears!" Elara said, urgently. "Amelia said you were collecting them -"

Realisation dawned on Lucy's heart-shaped face. "They're - They're in my dorm -"

Elara cursed under her breath but she had no other choice. "Where?"

"In my trunk but - but I'm the only one who can open it -"

"Elara -  _ no -"  _ Hermione was reaching for her hand. "No, you're not -"

"I am," Elara replied, harshly, straightening and grasping Lucy's hand. "I have to."

"Let me -" Hermione begged, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hermione, Harry needs you. If you die, he will lose everything," Elara hushed her, feeling Lucy's hand tremble in her own. "It has to be me."

Hermione clamped a hand over her mouth, a sob escaping her chest, the emotion in her brown eyes making Elara's own heart ache.

"It has to be me," Elara whispered just as a wall exploded behind Hermione, causing them all to hit the floor.

Screams erupted further down the corridor and Elara hauled Lucy away, pushing them both to their feet.

Hermione followed as they rounded the corner, their footsteps loud. "I'll help - we'll figure out a way -"

"No. Hermione, find Harry."

"Elara,  _ please  _ \- we don't even know if it will work - we'll fight back some other way -"

"There is no other way!" Elara hissed, turning on her friend, eyes flashing. "Everyone will die here, Hermione.  _ Everyone  _ \- if you don't let me do this."

She softened as she saw the tears running down the Gryffindor witch's face. "It has to be me. Harry needs you.  _ Please,  _ 'Mione."

Hermione let out a long exhale, shuddering and swallowed hard. "Let me come with you, at least."

Elara debated arguing but couldn't see any harm in it. So she nodded and the three girls began to make their way towards the Ravenclaw tower.

They fought their way towards the common room, sending spells slicing through the air wherever they could but they didn't encounter much trouble, seeing as most of the activity was on the lower floors and in the courtyard.

The Ravenclaw common room was eerily quiet and Elara had Hermione stay outside with Lucy while she scouted it out.

"Alright," Elara called and Lucy scurried in, her auburn hair shining, as she ascended the steps, tripping over her own two feet in her haste. Hermione followed close behind and stopped at the top of the staircase.

"I'll keep watch," she told Elara and the other witch nodded, trailing after Lucy as they hurried down the corridor towards the second year dorms.

"W-What are you gonna do with them?" Lucy whispered, her voice shaking, as Elara pushed open the door, letting the girl pass through first.

Elara hesitated, chewing on her lip and wincing when she realised there was a gash there. "It'll help us."

"It will?" Lucy padded over to her bed and dropped onto her knees, reaching her tiny arms below to pull out her trunk. "How?"

Elara breathed out a breath, looking back towards the hallway where Hermione was. "It just - will. Do you have it?"

She heard the little girl rummage about in the trunk, her eyebrows furrowed and her heart ached for what she must have seen. She hoped Amelia had gotten out.

"Here!"

The vial was glowing silver as Lucy held it up, a gleeful smile on her face. "Here -"

Hermione screamed.

Immediately, the smile slid off Lucy's soft features and Elara hissed at her. "Under the bed. Now!"

Lucy obeyed, clutching the vial to her chest.

Elara burst into the corridor, her wand at the ready, finding one Death Eater pressing Hermione to the wall, his arm over her throat, another stalking down the corridor towards Elara.

"Elara -" Hermione choked out but the Death Eater pulled her forward and slammed her head back against the wall, making her cry out.

"Careful, Gibbon," the other Death Eater hissed, advancing on Elara. "The Dark Lord will want Granger -"

The spell left Elara's wand, instantly, and the Death Eater blocked it.

"Who were you talking with?" he taunted, a spell flying at her. She ducked, sending one at his feet. "I know I heard someone. Was there someone in there with you?"

Elara dodged another spell and replied with two of hers as Hermione brought up her knee and shoved the Death Eater off her, lunging for her wand on the floor.

Spells flew all over the narrow hallway, forcing Elara backwards towards the first year dorms, her previous wounds aching with every movement as she deflected as many hexes as she could.

One nicked her side and Elara screamed as she felt acid burn into her skin, eating away at it and the pain was blinding.

She expected a Killing Curse to come barrelling at her any second but her vision cleared and there was no Death Eater in front of her. All she could see was Hermione battling Gibbon and Elara raised her wand to help, despite the agony in her side, when it clicked in her head.

_ Lucy. _

_ No. _

She heaved for breath, crawling towards the dorm as a scream erupted from the inside of the room and Elara scrambled back as the second Death Eater stepped out of the room, dragging Lucy behind him.

Her big, brown eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at Elara, her lower lip trembling. "Elara -"

There was a cut on the girl's cheek - Death Eaters obviously had no qualms about hitting thirteen year old girls.

"Look what I found," the Death Eater chuckled, yanking Lucy forward.

Hermione's eyes widened from across the hallway and she made to move in their direction only for Gibbon to slam her back with a spell.

The Death Eater's wand was at Lucy's throat and the young girl was quivering in his hands, her small fingers still clutching the vial.

"Should we play?" drawled the Death Eater and Elara snapped from her frozen state, moving to lift her wand but the pain in her side made her falter. "Or should I make it quick?"

Elara met Lucy's teary gaze, heard Hermione scream from where she was dueling with Gibbon.

_ Lucy - Lucy - I'm so sorry - _

"No, I don't think I will play," the Death Eater mused and Elara struggled to raise her wand arm again, sobbing when it wouldn't move. "A shame. I think Greyback would've had fun with her."

Lucy's tiny hands were trembling so much, the liquid in the vial was shaking.

She gave Elara one last look - desperate and determined and pitiful.

"Avada Kedavra."

Lucy sank her teeth into the Death Eater's hand - one final attempt to cheat death - just as there was a flash of green light.

The scream that ripped from Elara's throat was not human as the light faded from Lucy's eyes. Her face went slack, no longer frozen in fear, and she slid out of the Death Eater's grasp, falling to the floor with a soft thump.

Elara raised her wand and unleashed a Killing Curse.

It never would've worked if Lucy hadn't bitten his hand right before she died - he was caught off guard and the curse struck right between his eyes. The shock on his face stayed as he toppled backwards, hitting the ground hard.

Elara stumbled to her feet, sobbing at the pain in her side where the acid was eating away at her skin and sent a spell spiralling towards Gibbon's back. He had Hermione pressed up against the railing of the staircase on the landing, about to push her over when the green spell struck him straight in the back and he heard Hermione gasp as he stilled and fell to the side, rolling down the stairs, dead.

Her head spinning, Elara collapsed next to Lucy, picked her auburn head up. "Lucy - Lucy -"

Her trembling fingers ghosted over the young girl's cheeks and Elara wailed, bringing the body to her chest, sobs wracking through her chest.

Hermione was at her side, hand on her shoulder. "Oh my god, oh my god -"

Elara was going to pass out. Lucy's eyes were lifeless as they looked up at the ceiling, having been honey brown and filled with fear only moments ago.

"Elara - let me heal you," Hermione tried to pry Lucy's body from her arms but she only screamed and clutched the little girl closer, her limp hand brushing the floor. "Elara, please -"

She had killed Lucy. She was responsible for this. She had killed a thirteen year old girl - Amelia's best friend.

Then, her eyes fell on something that made the agony that ripped through her even worse.

Elara's arms shook, making Lucy's pale hand sway and brush the vial - what she had died for.

It was shattered and silver tears bled out onto the floor.

  
  



	54. fifty four

ELARA WANTED TO GIVE UP.

She wanted to crawl into her bed only a few steps away and sink into it. Wait for Draco to find her and then run away with him.

But Hermione's hand on her back continued to guide her down the spiral staircase and they both gingerly stepped over Gibbon's body, Elara feeling something in her soul twist at the realisation that she'd just killed two people.

"We'll find another way," Hermione was saying, her voice sounding far away. They'd lain Lucy to rest underneath the starry sky in her bed and Hermione had allowed Elara to cry for a few more minutes before she ushered her out. "We'll figure out another way to defeat them, Elara."

Elara couldn't speak, feeling numb all over as Hermione checked outside to see if the coast was clear before they stepped out.

There was something nagging at the back of her brain - something about Thestral tears - but she couldn't remember what. The numbness seemed to have spread to her mind.

"Hermione!"

They turned to find Ginny jogging towards them, flanked by Fred and Dean.

"Ginny," Hermione breathed, throwing herself onto her friend and Fred did the same with Elara, swallowing her up into a tight hug.

"Alright there, El?" he asked, muffled against her hair, and she nodded against his chest, feeling tears prick her eyes at the contact. She wanted to stay there forever. "We've been looking for you two everywhere."

"Is everyone..." Hermione inquired as Elara pulled back from Fred, although he kept a warm arm around her. She noticed his knuckles were bruised and bloody, sent him a questioning look.

"Particularly dirty skirmish," he said, catching her look and examining his knuckles. "Both of us lost our wands - I resorted to what I could to get away."

"Winona is dead," Ginny was telling Hermione, softly. "So are Andrew and Drea. I don't know who else."

All members of the DA.

Elara buried deeper into Fred's side. "Where's George?"

"He headed off with Stuart and the others to get them out," Dean piped up, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Right after we destroyed the Vanishing Cabinet."

Elara breathed a sigh of relief, felt Fred squeeze her, affectionately.

"Any news of the teachers?" Ginny asked Hermione, the front strands of her red hair caked with blood.

Hermione chewed on her lip. "None. Except I saw McGonagall down by the greenhouses. I think she was battling Dolohov -"

_ McGonagall. _

Her Ravenclaw brain whirred into action - even when she tried to suppress it. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted to find Draco and have him hold her.

"El." Fred's voice was quiet in her ear.

Her brain sped up as she looked up at him.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked her, concerned, his lip split.

"Lucy's dead," she told him, not even knowing if he knew who Lucy was. Her mind reached back, yanked on strands of information that she had stored. "I watched her die."

_ McGonagall. _

It struck her like a lightning bolt just as Fred let out a shaky exhale and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, his hands coasting up and down her back.

Elara shut her eyes. Her back still stung - Hermione had only healed the acid wound on her side - and her shoulder was developing an ache that made it hard to concentrate.

But she had to - for Fiona, for Lucy, for Amelia and Freya. For all of her friends.

She pulled away from Fred, depriving herself of support, and straightened, looking at Hermione who was healing a nasty gash on Dean's arm.

"We have to find McGonagall."

Hermione's eyebrows furrowed as she looked over at Elara. "What?"

"She confiscated Thestral tears from Lucy," Elara explained, her heart aching at the name. "She has them in her office. We have to find her."

"What in Merlin do you need Thestral tears for?" Ginny asked, glancing between Hermione and Elara.

"It's a spell," Elara said, giving Hermione a pointed look. "It'll give us a fighting chance over the Death Eaters."

That was all Ginny needed to hear and she perked up. Elara looked away from Hermione's imploring gaze.

"I'll find her," Ginny said, firmly, already backing away. Immediately, Fred followed, sending a parting smile over his shoulder at Elara and Hermione. "Get to her office. I'll tell her to meet you there."

"Dean, you go too," Elara told him and he nodded. "We need those tears. Whatever happens, get to McGonagall."

Dean gave her a fleeting smile and then turned to jog after Ginny and Fred.

"Elara..."

She felt Hermione's hand slip into hers and squeeze it. "Elara, we can still find another way."

"There isn't any, Hermione," Elara said, tired. "You know that as well as I do."

She turned to face the Gryffindor witch. "Find Harry and - tell him it wasn't his fault. That this was my choice. Nothing he did would've stopped me."

A tear escaped Hermione's eye but Elara couldn't find it in her to comfort her. "It was an honour to be friends with the brightest witch of our age."

Hermione choked back a sob as Elara backed away. "You're going to save Hogwarts, Elara."

Elara wondered if this was the last time she'd ever hear her name. "No," she said back, giving her a small smile. "Lucy will."

With that, she turned, vanishing down the steps, heading for the Potions classroom.

She stumbled down the last few steps, her heart pounding, and turned the corner, her wand coming up on reflex to Stun a Death Eater who appeared in front of her. She killed him, swiftly, and pushed on, stepping over the motionless body of a Hufflepuff sixth year.

He had been in her Astronomy Class.

She swallowed the bile in her throat, avoiding the sight of his mangled neck where a werewolf had obviously got to him, and forced her feet onwards.

Bursting into the Potions classroom, she rushed over to the vial, thankfully still sitting on the table, untouched, and stoppered it quickly, noting how it had faded into a dark pink colour after being allowed to settle.

Tucking it into the pocket of her robes, she took one last look at the classroom, remembering Draco getting detention for her and the sly smiles he would give her when no one else was looking. The brush of his ringed fingers against her knee, the warmth of his hand on her thigh.

She wondered if he'd be torn apart when he found out what she'd done.

McGonagall's office wasn't far and Elara slipped inside to wait, the vial heavy in her pocket. Away from danger, she finally allowed herself to breathe and leaned against the desk, forcing deep breaths.

She didn't dare close her eyes - partly because she couldn't let her guard down completely and partly because everytime she did, she saw Fiona, Lucy -

So many dead. She would be just another statistic soon enough.

Her name, written in McGonagall's cursive handwriting, caught her eye and she straightened, frowning as she reached for the parchment on top of the pile.

ELARA ROSE JACOBS

_ Ravenclaw. Sixth year. Seventeen years old. _

_ Final Rank: First. _

_ Comments: None. _

Below it were her grades, all Outstanding. But it was impossible - she could believe she'd beat Hermione since she'd been ridiculously busy and stressed over the Dark Mark spell but Draco had been better than Elara at almost every subject.  _ He'd  _ been teaching  _ her  _ in the last weeks before the finals and she had even commented about how he'd surpass her in everything - he knew the material  _ that  _ well.

But - McGonagall had written her up as first.

Elara's eyebrow furrowed as she slid off her transcript, shuffling through the pile of papers until she found the one she was looking for.

DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY

_ Slytherin. Sixth year. Eighteen years old. _

_ Final Rank: Third. _

_ Comments: Sudden drop in final grades. Troubled? Tell Snape to keep an eye on him. _

He had come third. For as long as Elara could remember, since first year, he'd always been second, beating everyone but Hermione.

She knew what he'd done. There was no other way he would've come third - unless he'd purposely done badly to help Elara with her parents.

The knot in Elara's throat grew larger. He should've come first - she knew he deserved it more than she did.

But he'd helped her.

She didn't have time to dwell on it because she heard footsteps stride down the hall and turned to face the door, her wand at the ready.

But it was only McGonagall who burst into the office, her bird-like eyes stern, strands of her hair loose from her bun.

"Professor," Elara breathed, lowering her wand, but McGonagall barely glanced at her, moving to the large chest of drawers behind her desk and muttering a spell, waving her wand in a complex formation to get the third drawer to open.

"I trust you know what you're doing, Miss Jacobs," the teacher said, sounding a lot like she did when she was scolding students. "Because if this doesn't work..."

"It will." Elara had no idea if it would.

McGonagall stepped back from the drawers and turned to face her, looking down at the silvery liquid in the vial in her hand. Elara's fingers drifted to the one tucked into her pocket.

"Lucy was an exceptional student," McGonagall said, quietly, and Elara's chest twisted. "And a wonderful girl."

She held out the vial and Elara's shaking fingers reached for it. "I trust you, Jacobs. Whatever it is that you need this for, I trust to see you hail and hearty after this is all over."

Elara's eyes watered and she forced the tears back as she stared down at the silvery liquid jostling about in the vial. "I look forward to seeing you again, Professor," she whispered, shakily. "When the time comes."

McGonagall gave her a tight smile and extended her hand. Elara slid hers into it, felt her favourite teacher squeeze it, oblivious to the fact that what Elara was going to do was suicidal.

"You give Miss Granger a run for her money," McGonagall told her, releasing her from her bony grip. "Go."

Elara turned on her heel and fled, heading straight for the place she knew she'd be able to spend her last moments in peace.

The Astronomy Tower was desolated and silent.

Elara crossed the floor she had stood on so many times - dueling with Draco, wrapped up in his arms, watching the grounds below - and went to stand by the railing.

Hogwarts stretched out in front of her, beautiful and destroyed and her home. She inhaled the crisp, cool air, noticed the soft rays of daylight creeping over the horizon.

When the sun rose, she would not be there to see it.

The sounds of battle were muffled up here and she shut her eyes, blocking out the noise, and allowed herself another minute to calm her nerves.

There was no other way. It had to be her.

It brought comfort to her to know Draco had stood here only a few hours ago, in the very space she was in now, as despaired as she was.

But unlike him, she would make the right choice.

She yanked out the two vials, ripped off the stopper of the Thestral tears with her mouth, Lucy's limp body in her arms coming to mind.

Fiona - who had saved her life.

Their deaths weighed on her shoulders - as well as everybody else's. She'd fixed the Vanishing Cabinet. She'd let them in.

Death was a fitting price.

"You will die."

The voice behind her didn't startle Elara; she'd sensed the ghost as soon as she alighted onto the ramparts.

But now Helena Ravenclaw drifted into view, right beside her on the railing, looking out over the Forbidden Forest with her.

Elara's throat constricted further.

Helena looked at her, white and translucent, her face impassive. "I made that spell. You will be killed. There's no other way."

Elara inhaled a shuddering breath, feeling tears prick her eyes. She had known it - but it hurt on a different level to hear someone tell her it.

"How does it work?" she whispered, her hands shaking as she poured the silvery tears into the dark pink potion she'd brewed.

"It will seek all substantial sources of Dark Magic in the castle," Helena told her, emotionless. Long, dark waves - much like Elara's - tumbled down the ghost's back, dark eyes piercing. "It will find the Dark Mark but you won't be able to control it. It will go where it pleases."

Elara swallowed, letting the empty vial fall to the floor and shatter before tightening her grip on the other one, watching as the potion changed colour from dark pink to -

Blood red.

A silver shape made her glance up. Standing in front of her, hovering on thin air, was a doe, its head tilted. It was a majestic creature, soft and concerned - the complete opposite of Severus Snape.

Elara nodded and it gave her one last look before turning and galloping away. She watched it until it faded into nothing over the treetops.

Draco and Snape were out. There was no time to waste.

"It will kill them all?" she asked, swirling the liquid in the vial.

"No. Most - but not all. You will, however, make it considerably easier for your friends to win."

Elara's pulse thrummed under her skin like energy ready to explode.

"You will absorb every ounce of Dark Magic that is in every life you take," Helena went on, her voice eerily calm. "It will destroy you - and it will be painful."

"I'm prepared," Elara said but her voice shook as she watched the solution in the vial finally stop fizzing. "Incantation and then I drink it." She paused, thought it was better to double check. "Right?"

Helena nodded, silently.

Elara pulled out her wand from the waistband of her jeans, steeled herself and moved it in the shape of an X before slashing a line through it, splitting the letter exactly in half.  _ "Occidere Tenebris." _

It shimmered in the air for a moment, casting a blue glow over her face, before fading away.

"You only have a few minutes before you have to cast it again," Helena told her.

Elara looked out over Hogwarts - at the place she'd called home for six years. At the place where she'd found peace.

She hoped they'd bury her near the Great Lake.

"Tell them -" The words lodged themselves in Elara's throat and she tried again, forced them out. "Tell them I was thinking of them till - till the very end."

Goodness, was that her voice? She never thought she could sound so - broken.

Helena looked at her, those stoic dark eyes unfeeling but somehow, understanding. "Who?"

_ Who? _

It was a good question - Elara almost smiled.

She shut her eyes. She thought of Amelia - of her pouting face when she'd been sorted into Gryffindor, of her laughter after she'd stuffed her face with nine Chocolate Frogs, of the way she'd giggle and throw herself into Elara's arms.

She thought of her older brother, Isaac and his wife, Zoe, and the baby she'd never get to meet. The baby who would grow up, not knowing one of their aunts.

She thought of Freya, brushing out her long, golden hair in front of the mirror back at their house, singing to herself, of the blush on her cheeks when George announced they were dating.

She thought of her parents -  _ Mum, Dad, I finally came first! -  _ thought of her mother's apple pie and her dad's warm hugs.

She thought of George, coming to her for advice, promising not to divulge her secret, red hair gleaming under the library lights, a grin always on his lips.

She thought of Fred ruffling her hair, carrying Amelia on his shoulders, wrapping Angelina up in a hug after Gryffindor won a Quidditch match, beaming at her from his broom when they'd caused a firework show when Umbridge was around.

She thought of Luna, traipsing about barefoot in the castle, telling Elara she'd sleep in the dorm during the Christmas holidays to make her feel better.

She thought of Ron and Hermione, wrapped up in one another at the Three Broomsticks, laughing, their cheeks pink from the alcohol, looking at each other like two love-sick teenagers.

Harry - in his drunkeness, the most relaxed she'd ever seen him - with his arm around Ginny's shoulders as she watched her brothers with a content smile on her face. Teaching her how to cast a Patronus, encouraging her even when she failed.

She thought of Indigo and Tracy and Stuart, all of them spread out on the sofa in the Ravenclaw common room, playing cards and eating Honeydukes' toffees, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

She thought of Lucy and Fiona and Cho and Neville and Dean and all the other people she'd become friends with as she grew with them. Wondered if they'd ever think of her and miss her.

Blaise. Theo. Pansy.

And then she thought of Draco. Draco with his rare, genuine smile. Draco with his moonlit silver eyes and soft hair.

Draco protecting her against Fletcher, getting her out of detention, getting expelled to keep her secret. Draco leaning against the railing of the Astronomy Tower, wind breezing through his hair. Draco kissing her on New Year's, making love to her the night of the ball with the stars shining above them, laying with her, tangled in the sheets, a lazy grin on his face, his hair messy. Draco kissing her, slow and gentle, telling her she was his. Gifting her a family heirloom, tutoring her sister, taking her to the Ritz. Purposely flunking his exams so she could please her parents.

But then -

Draco glaring at her from across the Astronomy Tower floor, hexing her to oblivion, punching a mirror to shatters. Spitting hurtful things at her, enticing her with rose-tinted promises to get her to repair the Vanishing Cabinet. Draco using her to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts, helping them kill Dumbledore. Draco with the Dark Mark engraved into the pale skin of his arm, bleeding over it, the desperation in his eyes his last plea to her.

Not the boy who had no choice - but the boy who made all the wrong ones.

Elara could feel Helena's eyes on her. She almost laughed at the irony. The Ravenclaw ghost - her final companion.

Elara opened her eyes.

"All of them," she said.

She downed the vial of blood-red liquid.

|

Pain.

It was the only feeling, tearing through her entire body. It wracked through her chest, crumpled her lungs, pierced her sternum.

It felt like being burned alive and simultaneously, like being doused with freezing water. It felt like someone was picking at her skin, peeling it off agonisingly slow and then ripping it off in one go.

Liquid filled her lungs, bubbled up her throat, cutting off her air supply. She choked on it, her eyes open but not seeing anything in front of her.

Instead, she was following a silver streak, diving off the railing of the Astronomy Tower, spiralling downwards at breakneck speed. It curled upwards right before it hit the ground and she could now see the decimated walls of the courtyard, could see a Death Eater standing over Luna Lovegood who had lost her wand and stared up into the face of Death.

Elara's magic speared into the Death Eater's forearm and she heard someone scream and realised it was herself. Dark Magic bled out of the Death Eater, forming a black mist that was swallowed by the silver streak of Elara's magic.

The Death Eater fell and so did Elara up on the Astronomy Tower, her knees hitting the ground hard.

Luna stared up at the silver magic, her chest heaving and gave it a small smile.

As if she knew it was Elara.

It moved on, weaving through the courtyard, piercing through Death Eaters' forearms and Elara could barely focus on the way the blood drained out of the ones who had lost their masks, the life fading in their eyes, before they toppled over.

The agony spread through her spine and she felt it crack and let out a ragged gasp, blood leaking from her mouth.

The magic sped forward, disappearing through an archway and Elara caught sight of a Death Eater with his wand at a Slytherin's throat.

_ It will go where it pleases. _

She gritted her teeth, trying to turn the magic towards him, but it was fruitless. It had its own command and she could not make it follow hers.

The Slytherin fell.

Elara screamed when she struck another Death Eater, the Dark Magic seeping into her body as it drained the victim of life. It twisted in her soul, burst capillaries in her eyes and blood dripped from them as she collapsed onto all fours.

Still, it went on, finding Death Eaters wherever it felt like and tearing into them. Their screams echoed in Elara's ears and she relished in it, even as her soul broke further and her body gave out.

She could feel her heart slowing, the energy seeping out of her, her organs failing and shutting down. It would end soon; she could feel death writhing in her blood, greedy to take her.

But she pushed forward and the silver shimmer responded, dipping into a classroom to spear a Death Eater who was about to slaughter a second year Gryffindor and then racing back out to rip into two more on their way down the corridor.

They dropped like stones.

Six more Death Eaters by the time Elara realised she was teetering dangerously on the line between life and death.

If she stopped now - maybe there was a chance she'd live. Find Draco and go start a life with him somewhere far away. Maybe they'd have children - small, dark-haired, silver-eyed boys and girls with their mother's resilience and their father's intelligence.

Elara felt a sob leave her lips and blood spilled over the edge, running down her chin and neck.

She'd never get that life with Draco. She hoped he could find it on his own.

With a tortured scream, she forced the magic forward and it streaked through the air, turning the corner and emerging into the Great Hall.

She came face to face with Ron Weasley and his mouth dropped open as he watched the silver line run through his opponent's arm, sucking the Dark Magic out of him and killing him, slowly.

It turned towards Hermione, sped past her shoulder and into the two Death Eaters dueling with her. Elara felt what was left of her soul shatter.

The magic zipped around the Great Hall and Elara counted a total of sixteen Death Eaters that she killed in just the next two minutes.

She heard Hermione cry out her name as the magic exited the Great Hall, taking another Death Eater on her way in.

The silver streak made its way back outside, claiming the lives of four others, before it began to fizzle and flicker, climbing steadily upwards back to the Astronomy Tower.

Elara saw herself through the magic's point of view, lying flat on her back, in her own pool of blood. Her eyes were jet-black, no whites in them, blood trailing from them. Crimson spilled past her lips, dripped onto the floor, caking in her hair, her skin deathly pale.

She saw Helena standing behind her. The ghost gave the magic a small nod and a hint of a smile.

One last look at the Astronomy Tower and then the magic dove back into Elara's chest.

She arched off the floor, her eyes opening wide, as she gasped for breath and she was seeing through her own eyes again.

The pain returned, the agony making her want to wail but she choked on her own blood.

In her mind, she saw Draco, standing in front of her, laughing at something she'd said. His hair was white-blond and gleaming in the moonlight, his eyes soft and boyish and silver. Her favourite colour. Had she ever told him silver was her favourite colour?

She couldn't wait to see him again - but she hoped he wouldn't join her for many, many more years to come.

Elara gasped out one last breath and then fell back, her back hitting the floor once more.

Her eyes stayed open, a ghost of a smile on her face at her last memory.

The stars twinkled down at her, fading in the sunrise, and her heart beat one last time.

It was over.

  
  



	55. fifty five

WHEN ELARA AWOKE, SOMEONE WAS SCREAMING.

It took her a minute to realise it was her.

There was pain all over, threatening to split her head open, her lungs feeling like they'd been crushed.

Her vision was black, her heart stuttering in her chest, making her feel light-headed and nauseatingly dizzy.

Then she felt the whip slash across her back again and a scream ripped from her throat at the agony.

Her body instinctively tried to flip onto her back to defend herself against her attacker but her arms and legs felt like lead, impossible to move.

Maniacal laughter filled her ears and the sound made sirens go off in her head while simultaneously making her wince, her mouth dry and metallic.

The whip stung against her back again and she tried to reach for her wand, realised it wasn't in the waistband of her jeans.

"Enough, Bellatrix."

Wild laughter ensued. "Oh but I'm having  _ so  _ much fun!"

"You'll kill her."

"And? Why is that a problem, my dear  _ Cissy?" _

Elara gasped for breath, struggling to turn over onto her back and finally managed, staring up into the malicious eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Oh, she's awake!" the Death Eater yelped with glee. "Do you want a go, Cissy?"

They were in a drawing room and Elara was sprawled out in front of the fireplace, the floor stained with her own blood, sticking to her arms and her soaked shirt.

This was definitely not supposed to happen. She was never even supposed to wake up.

"Oh, doesn't she look like a delight," Bellatrix crooned, her wild hair concealing half her face as she raised the whip again.

Elara scrambled back, her head pounding, and rolled out of the way as the whip crashed down where she'd been a second earlier, splintering wood.

"Bella,  _ enough."  _ Narcissa Malfoy stepped forward, her mouth a grim line. "You're making a mess in my living room."

Elara's mind was sluggish, trying to process Narcissa's words. They were in her living room - they were at Malfoy Manor.

Bellatrix bared her teeth at her in a smile, tossing the whip away.

"We can't get into her head," the witch hissed, sparing a quick glance at her sister. "We'll have to use some other means to get information out of her, won't we?"

Narcissa's eyes stayed fixed on Elara, examining her. Elara wanted to shrink back but her muscles ached so much, the fear in her gut twisting and making her want to hurl.

Bellatrix raised her wand.

"Bella..." Narcissa winced, reaching for sister's arm.

_ "Crucio!" _

The last thing Elara saw before blinding pain ripped through her body was the door to the living room opening.

Her body thrashed on the floor, a scream tearing from her throat, as the pain intensified, gripping her muscles and sending sharp stabs of agony through her body.

She heard Bellatrix laughing, loudly, and Elara wished she had died on the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts.

"She's quite cute, isn't she?" the dark-haired witch cackled. "Look, Cissy, look how she writhes -"

Elara realised she was half screaming, half sobbing, her cheeks suddenly wet and sticky with sweat and tears and dried blood. The pain expanded and expanded, warping and pulling at Elara's insides to the point where she was sure she'd pass out.

Then - it stopped and her vision dimmed for a minute. She gasped for breath, feeling like she was going to hurl, but there was nothing in her stomach to throw up.

When her vision cleared, she was sure she was hallucinating from the pain, her breaths heavy and desperate.

Because standing right next to his mother was Draco Malfoy.

When his eyes met Elara's, it was like the whole world shattered. She'd never expected to see him again, never expected to see those silver eyes or his pale hair. Had never expected to lay eyes on his strong shoulders or his tall frame - definitely not on his hands, ringed and spasming by his side every once in a while.

He looked tired and worn out. She nearly sobbed with relief - he was okay. She hadn't killed him with the spell.

His expression was blank, unreadable - but she caught the twitch in the muscle of his jaw, caught the way his fingers curled into a fist for a second before releasing, suddenly.

She wanted to say his name, wanted to taste it on her tongue but her throat was raw from the events of the last twenty four hours and she knew she couldn't let on that she knew him as anything more than a classmate.

And she was well aware that it worked the other way too.

So she wasn't surprised when Bellatrix cast the Cruciatus Curse on her again and Draco made no move to stop her.

Elara was screaming again, heaving for breath through sobs, as the pain grew and wracked her entire body. It had her desperately wishing she'd pass out from the pain just so she didn't have to feel it.

The raw skin on her back chafed against the splintered wood as she writhed on the floor, trying in vain to get away, and then it was over again and she could breathe, tears blurring her vision as she stared up at the huge chandelier on the ceiling.

"I'm going to have a lot of fun with her," Bellatrix purred, throwing herself down next to Elara and grasping her face in her claw-like fingers, grinning. "Oh, she's so pretty too..."

Elara forced her eyes open, kept staring back at Bellatrix though her eyes were swollen and watery.

"What's her name, Draco?" Narcissa asked, her voice quiet.

Draco never took his eyes off Elara and she saw his throat bob with the effort when he spoke. "I don't know."

_ "What?"  _ Bellatrix huffed, turning her head to look at her nephew, shoving Elara's face back down into the floor and standing. "How do you not know -"

"There does happen to be over a thousand students at Hogwarts, Bellatrix," Draco snapped, irritated, flexing his fingers. The dragon ring glinted on his finger and Elara nearly let out a sob at the sight of it.

"Draco." Narcissa placed a warning hand on her son's arm as her sister snarled, twirling her wand in her fingers.

Draco's eyes slid to look at his mother for a second before moving back to Elara's. "I just don't see why we're wasting our time with -  _ her." _

It was convincing, the sneer he sent in Elara's direction, and she shivered, pushing up into a sitting position.

Bellatrix caught the movement and whirled on her and Elara scrambled back into the wall, so exhausted she felt she could collapse.

But now she'd seen Draco again - and she so desperately wanted to live.

And she didn't think she could live through another Cruciatus Curse or whipping, considering what she'd been through over the past twenty four hours.

She couldn't even tell if it was the same day. The Manor was dark and dingy, as if they let no sunlight in. At least the living room looked like it hadn't seen sun in years.

"They defeated us," Bellatrix snarled, stalking forward, her eyes murderous. "They defeated us and -  _ she  _ is responsible for it!"

Her wand was thrust under Elara's throat, forcing her chin up and she caught sight of the Dark Mark on Bellatrix's forearm.

"We don't know that, Bella," Narcissa said, softly.

Bellatrix tilted her head, scrutinising every detail on Elara's face. "She reeks of Dark Magic, Cissy. You saw that silver -  _ thing  _ that killed the others. It was her. I know it."

The wand tip dug further into Elara's skin but she didn't flinch, meeting Bellatrix's eyes steadily and the witch growled, yanking her up by her hair to stand on her feet.

Elara's knees nearly gave out as Bellatrix dragged her over to Draco and Narcissa, shoving her to the ground at their feet, and Elara hit the floor hard, landing on all fours, her head bent.

Her shoulders heaved as Bellatrix dug a hand into her hair and pulled her head up, forcing her neck to arch back and her eyes to meet Draco's.

He looked bored, not a twinge of emotion on his face, but Elara saw his thumb move to the ring she'd given him on his index. A subtle movement but enough to ease some of her turmoil.

"Try it, Draco," Bellatrix ordered, her grip painful on Elara's hair. "Nobody has been able to do it so far."

Draco's eyes flicked to Bellatrix for a moment before sliding back to Elara's. "Why not?"

"If we knew that, she wouldn't still be alive, would she?" Bellatrix ground out and Elara's spine ached from the angle. "But you're skilled at Legilimency. Try it."

Elara's mind raced even as her body screamed for rest. They hadn't been able to penetrate her mind - she had no clue as to why - but it was something she could use later, providing it held.

"Do it, Draco." Narcissa seemed to be surveying Elara with cold eyes.

Draco's shoulders stiffened at his mother's order and Elara saw him brace himself, inhaling, sharply, his eyes shutting. His brows furrowed in concentration, jaw taut.

It was a few moments before she realised he was even in her mind and a gasp rose in the back of her throat, about to release -

_ Don't. They can't know. _

His voice was low, even in her head, but there was a desperate edge to it.

Elara swallowed the noise she'd been about to make, the pressure at the intrusion making her head spin.

_ You look good for someone straight out of battle. _

It was a useless sentence that she directed at him but she caught the faintest twitch of his lips, his eyes still closed, too subtle for anyone to notice

but her.

_When you said you had a pain kink,_ _I didn't think you meant_ this _kind of pain._

His tone was taunting and Elara would've laughed despite everything. She could tell he was forcing himself to be light and it eased some of the knot in her throat.

"No luck," he drawled, eyes snapping open, two glittering diamonds. "Either she's really good at Occlumency or there's some kind of magic shielding it."

Elara would've sunk to the floor if Bellatrix hadn't been holding her up. Draco could get into her head - but no one else.

Bellatrix growled, shoving Elara forward and Draco took a step back as she collapsed at his feet, her heart pounding.

"The Dark Lord will want her," Narcissa said, the blond streaks in her hair making her look older than she was. "Don't damage her any more, Bella."

Her sister's lip curled. "I will damage her as much as I want to." With that, she lifted her whip again.

Elara squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the pain, trying to cling onto the sound of Draco's voice in her head to get her through it.

She couldn't die yet - not when she was so close to him, only a few feet apart.

She heard the whoosh of the whip as it arced through the air but the pain never came.

Elara glanced up, finding Draco's arm outstretched over her, his fingers wrapped around his aunt's wrist, stopping her from bringing the whip down onto Elara.

He reached up with his other hand, yanked the whip out of her grip.

Bellatrix seemed stunned for a moment, her mouth gaping, staring at her nephew.

"Did you not hear what my mother said?" Draco said, coldly, hand still around her wrist. "The Dark Lord will want her undamaged."

He raised an eyebrow and Elara wondered how Narcissa had taught him to be a silent weapon, danger simmering underneath the mask of cool indifference.

"You, out of all people, should want to please him," he sneered, almost disgusted, as he released Bellatrix, stepping back next to his mother.

Bellatrix looked ready to attack but settled for a snarl as Draco met her gaze, coolly.

"You better teach your son -"

Narcissa held her hand up, silencing her sister. "He's right. Leave her, Bella."

"Put her in the dungeons," Draco said, lazily, meeting Elara's eyes one last time.

_ When are they coming for you? _

It was a quiet question in her mind as he turned and strode towards the door, saying, "The Dark Lord will be here soon."

_ They're not.  _ Elara's answer was sharp and concise.

She caught the tremor in his hand as he reached for the door handle.

_ If she tries anything again - scream. _

Draco cast one last look over his shoulder at Bellatrix and then disappeared through the door.

|

Elara didn't know how many hours she'd spent curled up in a ball in the darkness, cold stone pressing against her skin.

There was exhaustion in her very bones and she ached for sleep - but knew she wouldn't be able to.

Not in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor.

She had been shoved in here by Bellatrix who had given her one last parting shot and strangled her till she turned blue and was sure she would die.

But the dark-haired witch had released her then, watching in glee as Elara stumbled back and collapsed onto the floor, hitting her head hard on the rough stone, gasping for breath.

Bellatrix had spat at her and left, the door shutting behind her with a loud clang that vibrated the bones in Elara's ears and made her flinch.

But no one had come back for her - not Draco, nor any other Death Eater - and she found it unbearable. The dread at seeing the door open to reveal Fenrir Greyback or Bellatrix was nearly suffocating - just like the longing she felt to see Draco behind it instead.

It had worked. She had killed the Death Eaters and Hogwarts had been saved. It gave her some relief and she shut her eyes, curling into herself more, her tears wetting her cheeks.

She couldn't remember what it felt like to not be in pain. It spread through every cell in her body, her wounds untreated and stinging, her mind shattered as well as her heart.

Time wasn't a concept she could grasp right then but it had to have been several long hours later when she heard footsteps descending the steps to her cell.

She wanted to scramble back, hide, press herself against the wall in an effort to blend into it - but she couldn't find the will to.

If Voldemort was coming, she hoped he'd kill her.

The metal door creaked open and Elara still didn't raise her head from her knees where she was curled up, her eyes squeezed closed.

She hoped it'd be quick.

But instead of Voldemort, the voice that spoke was familiar and rough. "Elara."

She knew that voice - was pretty sure it belonged to someone she knew. Or had known. She had heard it only a few hours ago - but it wasn't Bellatrix or Narcissa -

Strong arms wrapped around her and she was being pulled into a warm, broad chest, the scent of green apples and mint invading her senses.

Her eyes snapped open and brown met silver.

Draco looked down at her as he cradled her against his chest, her head resting against his shoulder.

She couldn't even get his name out as his eyes searched her face, taking in the blood and the dirt.

"Where are you hurt?" he asked, softly, his jaw clenching tighter. He was so familiar - so steady and strong - and a sob pushed past Elara's lips.

His face softened and he lifted his other arm that wasn't holding her and grazed his thumb over her cheekbone. He looked drained and gaunt, the expression in his eyes tortured.

Elara's fingers twisted into the material of his shirt and she buried her face in his neck, her tears staining his skin.

"Elara." His voice was a whisper against her ear as his grip on her tightened. He felt her wince and pulled back, eyes back on her face. "Tell me where you're hurt."

Elara stared up at him, knowing she looked like an absolute mess but not caring in the slightest. He was here, holding her, looking at her with tragic eyes and his mouth was a taut line.

She desperately hoped she wasn't dreaming.

Her fingers shook as she raised her hand, just the movement enough to tire her out, and placed her palm against the plane of his cheek.

Draco blew out a breath at the touch and his eyes fluttered shut as he pressed his face into her touch, swallowing hard.

He looked so much older. His eyes opened again and he met hers, warm hand cupping her face.

He was touching her - she never thought she'd feel him again.

She nearly screamed when he shifted her out of his arms, making her kneel in front of him, her back to him, and she felt his hands grasp the hem of her blood-soaked shirt and pull it up over her back.

Elara hissed at the pain and her head fell forward, her tangled hair brushing the stone of the floor. She heard his sharp intake of breath.

"You can't -" Her throat was raw, her voice unrecognisable. "You can't heal me - they'll...know."

Draco's hand didn't still from where he was reaching for his wand. "I don't care."

Elara winced as she twisted around, her hand coming up to curl around his wrist and his eyes flickered as she turned her head to look at him. "You can't. They'll kill you."

Draco's eyes slid from hers to the wounds on her back. "You can't see what they've done, Elara," he said, quietly. "These will kill  _ you _ ."

"I can  _ feel  _ them," she ground out, knowing her skin was raw and flayed, deep gashes stretching out across her back. "And either way, I end up dying tonight, Draco."

His name felt foreign on her lips and she shuffled out of his grip, facing him again. He looked pained, his hand gripping his wand as if he wanted to force her to let him heal her.

"Who found me?" Her voice cracked and she hated the distance between them but was too exhausted to close it.

"Lark," he said after a moment, sliding his wand back into his pocket. "He hadn't even got his Dark Mark yet - but he earned it for getting you."

Elara's head felt light and her eyelashes fluttered. "How am I... How am I even alive?"

She struggled to take a breath, the overwhelming wave of emotion that overtook her enough to make her sink to the floor again into a sitting position, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Draco's eyes darkened as he watched her, closely. "Stroke of pure fucking luck."

She raised her eyes to his, questioningly, strands of her hair sticking to her face.

A muscle in his jaw flexed and he looked away. "I should've known you'd pull some  _ dumb  _ Gryffindor shit like that."

Elara's nails dug into the material of her jeans at the knees. It was torn, exposing bruised skin underneath. "I was supposed to die. Helena said there was no other way - and she was the one who  _ created  _ that spell."

Her breath caught in her throat when she felt Draco's hand grasp her jaw, forcing her head up to look at him. His eyes were dangerous. "Why the  _ fuck  _ are you so ready to sacrifice yourself?"

It was hard to swallow. "It was the right thing to do."

He scoffed, sitting back on his heels before getting to his feet. She watched him as he paced the cell, raking a frustrated hand through his hair.

"For who?" he demanded a minute later, eyes on her again. "For  _ who?" _

His hand closed around her wrist, tugged her up to her feet and Elara flinched, the rough movement bringing back memories of Bellatrix strangling her.

"You were  _ dead,"  _ Draco said, harshly, his grip tightening over her wrist. "When Lark walked in through the front door of this house, you were dead. You - You -"

He struggled to contain himself, inhaling through his teeth and releasing her wrist, taking two steps back. "Do you know what that fucking felt like? To see you - like that -  _ dead." _

Elara stared at him, her fingers trembling. He strode towards her again, grabbing her shoulders and suddenly, he was in her head.

She wanted to scream at the intrusion - he wasn't being gentle and it thudded against her mind like a hammer. She squirmed in his grasp but he held her firm and then she could see the memory he was trying to show her.

A tall, thin Death Eater strode in through the Manor doors, his cape billowing around him. In his arms, looking smaller than she ever had, was Elara, her head hanging back, her eyes open but completely black. Her hair was matted and caked with blood, her lips stained with crimson and she was trailing it all over the floor as the Death Eater crossed the foyer, heading for the living room.

She was watching through Draco's eyes, felt the sheer terror and despair that welled up in him at the sight of her, her body broken, her clothes drenched in the arms of Lark.

He surged forward, his mind focused on getting to her before he caught himself and his hand gripped the railing beside him as he forced himself not to plunge down the steps, wrench her from them and take her away.

She was dead. No one could look like that and not be dead. But he knew she was somehow still breathing - barely, but she was alive. And somehow, that made it worse because he knew what they did to prisoners.

She was  _ his  _ and he'd caused this, had let her down in every sense of the word and now she was as good as dead.

In the vision, Draco turned and with great effort, headed back up the stairs. He stumbled down the hallway, nauseated, and collapsed through the nearest doorway.

The pain Elara felt in his heart was worse than she could have ever imagined. He screamed, reared back his fist and smashed in into the wall so hard, he left a dent.

He was crying - she could feel hot tears spilling down his face, recognised the sharp gasps for breath, shoulders heaving.

He was crying for  _ her.  _ He had lied to her, had used her but the pain he felt was because of her. Because indirectly, he had killed her.

Life didn't have meaning anymore.

Then, Elara was being forced out of his memory and stumbled backward, hitting the wall of her cell. Her legs would've given out, had Draco not reached out and grasped her arms, yanking her back towards him.

She collided with his chest and he let out a breath as she sank into him, tears leaking from her eyes.

"Right thing to do," he muttered against her hair, repeating her words. "For who? Because you ended up dead and - it broke  _ me." _

Elara shuddered in his arms.

"So forgive me if I don't care that you saved everyone else _ ,"  _ he whispered, sounding as close to a breakdown as she was. "But seeing you dead is not something I will ever let happen again - I don't give a  _ fuck  _ about what I have to sacrifice to keep you safe."

Elara was crying and Draco pulled her tighter into him, his lips brushing against her hair and before she could stop him, his wand was against her back, his other hand raising her shirt.

She didn't fight back when he healed her wounds, one by one, just kept sobbing into his neck as the lacerations sealed, finally giving her some relief from most of her physical pain.

When he was done, he pocketed his wand and stepped back, drawing away from her. "When are they coming for you?"

Elara looked up at him, dazed. "What?"

Draco's hand came up to brush over a bruise on her neck and his eyes darkened as he realised it had to be Bellatrix. "Potter and his friends. When are they coming to save you?"

At her confused look, he huffed in exasperation. "Don't tell me you guys didn't discuss what the plan was if one of you was captured."

His voice was laced with anger and hatred but Elara knew it was directed at himself more than anyone else.

"We did," she mumbled, finding it easier to breathe now that her body wasn't in as much agony. "But they - they don't even know I'm alive."

Draco's jaw went taut. "I'll get the news to them then."

"You can't -" Elara drew in a deep breath, still not able to wrap her head around the fact that she wasn't dead. "We may have won that battle but I saw our losses, Draco. We lost too many people from our side."

Draco gritted his teeth. "I don't care -"

"No. Even if Harry knew I was alive, he wouldn't come after me. He risks killing so many more in the process if he does."

She watched the tremor in his hands. "Potter cares too much about his friends to let you  _ rot  _ here -"

Elara cut him off again. "Yes, he does. Which is why he won't sacrifice any more of their lives. We discussed it, Draco, and this was the compromise we settled on."

She thought back to the DA sessions, felt sick at the thought of all the information she had in her head about Harry's plans and the Horcruxes and how to bring down Voldemort.

"Why can't they get in my head?" she asked, abruptly, wrapping her arms around herself. She was shaking.

Draco sighed, passing a hand over his face before letting it drop, reaching for her wrist when he realised she was swaying on her feet. "I don't -"

The way with which he cut himself off made Elara glance up as he stopped, his hand outstretched, his eyes fixed on her hand.

His throat bobbed, his eyes widening, slightly, and Elara took an uncertain step back, her throat constricted. "What -"

He seized her right hand, brought it up between them and Elara's gaze followed his.

The breath was stolen from her lungs.

On her right index, where she'd always worn the pristine silver snake ring Draco had given her, there was now a black one, the diamonds dark and glittering in the dim light.

The tendons in his hand were tense as he dragged his fingers over the ring and then slid it up her finger.

Underneath it, burned into the skin of her index, was a tattoo exactly the same as the ring, a snake twisting around her finger. As if it had burned its pattern onto her skin.

Elara's knees weakened and Draco caught her, drawing her to him as he fit the ring back over her trembling finger.

"I guess it does work." His voice was low and gravelly, disbelieving.

A lifetime ago - in the infirmary after Harry had hexed him. She had gone to visit Draco.

_ Malfoy heirloom. It's supposed to be enchanted against Dark Magic or something but we tested the theory multiple times. Doesn't do shit. _

Draco's words when she complimented his ring that day. And he'd given her the counterpart months later.

It had protected her - had absorbed some of the Dark Magic she'd taken in during the spell. Had blackened the ring and burned the shape into her skin like a brand.

But it had saved her - had brought her back from the brink of death.

It was why she was standing in this cell, about to face a lifetime of torture and pain.

"I was supposed to die." Her voice broke and she heaved for breath, staring at the ring on her finger, wishing she'd never worn it. "I was never supposed to get this far - not when everyone else  _ died  _ and now I'm going to be  _ tortured -" _

Draco pulled her closer once more, hands on either side of her face as he met her eyes, silver and pained.

_ "Elara -  _ don't fucking -  _ no -" _

She had tried to rip her face from his grasp, feeling her chest tighten violently.

He brought her back, ducked his head to force her to look at him. "Elara - please -"

"Get me out," she sobbed, grasping onto the front of his shirt and gazing up at him, pleadingly. "Draco,  _ please -  _ get me out - I can't - I can't -"

He wrapped his arms around her and she melted into him, crying because she knew he couldn't.

"I can't." His voice broke on the two words and he sounded close to crying too. "I can't. I'm so - I'm so  _ fucking _ sorry, Elara."

Whatever hope Elara had left, crumbled with his words and she prayed this was all just a bad dream - and that she'd actually died up on the Astronomy Tower.

"I'll figure out a way," he murmured against her hair as she delved further into him, shoulders heaving. "I'll find a way - but it's impossible right now. I'd be killed before we even made it out the front door - and I wouldn't give two fucks about that if it wasn't for the fact that you'd be left here to face this on your own."

Elara clutched onto him for dear life and he forced her away to look her in the eye. "Did you hear me? I'm going to get you out - I just need time -"

But even as he said it, she knew he was lying, could feel the desperation in his voice. He was trying to convince her - and himself - that he could save her.

But he couldn't. She'd be whipped and tortured and raped and  _ Crucio-e _ d until they got the information they wanted out of her.

Because they couldn't get into her head. Legilimency wasn't working on her - except when it was Draco who was doing it.

"Why are you the only one who can get into my head?" she gasped out through her sobs, inhaling his scent and wishing they could be far away from here - in a quaint little house in the mountains, wrapped up in each other's arms just like this.

She felt his Adam's apple against her head as he swallowed, thickly. "I think - I think it has to do with the fact that I was the one who gave you the ring. The Dark Magic you absorbed is shielding your mind from everyone else - but not from me because I was the one who gave you the thing that protected you."

Elara trembled in his arms."I wish it hadn't saved me. I wish I had  _ died -" _

"Don't fucking say that," he hissed, pulling back, his hands gripping either side of her face. "Don't you dare. I'll find - I'll think of a way, Elara, I promise. I'm going to get you out of here."

"We both know you can't." She knew this Manor was swarming with Death Eaters, knew that Harry wouldn't come for her. He'd be appalled if he saw her now, in the arms of the boy who had done all of this to her. "They're going to torture me until they get everything they want out of me."

Draco exhaled, shakily, his eyes filled with so many emotions she couldn't tell them apart. "Elara, just - tell them everything. Tell them everything they want to know - it could buy us time - "

"You really think I would do that?" she whispered, her heart aching to the point where she wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for death. "Everything in my head - it's the key to defeating Voldemort."

Horcruxes - Voldemort couldn't know Harry knew about them.

Draco's eyes shut, his jaw clenching, knowing what was coming next.

"If I tell them, I give up everything that I almost died for. I give up my friends, my family, Hogwarts - I give up defeating the darkest wizard of all time. Do you really think I could let that happen?"

Draco exhaled through his teeth, turned away, burying his hands in his white blond hair. "This is not the  _ fucking  _ time to play  _ Saint -" _

"Saint?" she said back, too tired to be actually furious. "Is that what you call trying to take down a serial killer who tortures, rapes and kills people like it's the easiest thing in the world?"

"If I give in and tell them everything," she went on, watching his face crumble, "I might as well lay my eleven year old sister into her grave. I'm not being a  _ saint  _ for trying to make sure she lives another day."

A beat of silence. Then, his voice - low and desperate. "It could've been so easy," he said, bitterly.

Elara swallowed hard. "No." She waited till his eyes raised to hers. "We were always a losing game."

Draco pulled his fist back, rammed it into the wall. Elara didn't even startle.

"You'll  _ let  _ them?" he rasped out, his back to her, fist still pressed into the wall. His head was bent, his eyes shut. "You'll  _ let  _ them torture you into insanity?"

Elara swallowed hard, finding the next sentence one of the hardest she'd ever had to say. "End it for me, Draco."

He stilled and the air in the cell dropped a few degrees.

"Please," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "Please - do it. Make it quick for me."

_ If you care about me in the slightest, you'll kill me if I'm captured. _

Her words to him on the Astronomy Tower after she'd found out he was a Death Eater.

His voice was deadly low, quivering with rage when he spoke a long moment later. "How - How can you even  _ ask  _ that of me?"

"Would you prefer to see me tortured on your living room floor?"

She had cheated death - only for it to catch up to her again.

When Draco turned, his chest was heaving and his eyes were lined with red. "Give me time - I'll figure out a way. I'll get you out without anybody knowing - I just need  _ time." _

Elara's lower lip trembled. "Draco - please."

A simple plea. His hand spasmed, his lips parting as he stared at her and she realised his eyes were wet.

Her heart dissipated into nothing at the sight. She wondered if he'd ever stop looking so haunted and tragic.

But then again, maybe that was the definition of Draco Malfoy.

"You want me to - to  _ kill  _ you." His hand came up, dragged across his mouth, trembling. "You're fucking asking me to  _ kill  _ you."

"If you don't," she said, quietly, "I will suffer a fate much worse than death."

He broke then and she watched as he slammed his fist, repeatedly, into the wall. She counted eleven punches before he stepped back, his knuckles split and bleeding, his shoulders rising up and down harshly.

"You're not doing this because you're worried about the future." His voice was so low she could barely hear it and she shivered.

She'd expected him to know.

"You're doing this because you have a fucking  _ martyr  _ complex and you think  _ death  _ is better than living."

Tears bridged her eyes again at his words. "Can you blame me? A second year died in my arms, Draco - because of  _ me.  _ Fiona - saved my life and lost  _ hers _ in the process.  _ So _ many others - because I repaired that fucking Vanishing Cabinet."

He turned on her, flexing his bruised hand by his side, his eyes swirling with fury."It was  _ me -  _ I fixed the fucking -"

"I helped you!" she nearly screamed and realised she'd attract attention. "I helped you repair that  _ fucking  _ thing and people were  _ killed  _ because of it -"

"That's on  _ me -" _

"No, it isn't!" She was sobbing now and collapsed to the floor, desperately struggling for oxygen. "It's me - It's me - I did it - I killed them -"

Draco was sinking down next to her in the next moment, gathering her small body in his arms and cradling her to his chest. She could feel his tears on her hair.

"I can't - I can't do it -" he breathed, his fingers shaking as they buried themselves in her hair, holding her head to his chest. "I can't kill you -"

" _ Please."  _ Her throat was raw, her heart mangled and torn. She had lost everything. "Please, Draco - I just want it to be over -"

His hands held her so tightly, she was sure she would bruise.

"I'm so  _ fucking _ sorry." A rough whisper, into her ear. "Forgive me, please, forgive me -"

"I will. If you do this for me, I will." Her voice was muffled in his neck.

She would see Fiona and Lucy and Dumbledore and everyone else she had murdered in her haste to help Draco. She'd get the chance to apologise to them. And she'd wait for the rest to join - the others that would be killed in the following years because of what she had let happen.

"I beg you," she sobbed. "Please - it's the last thing I'll ever ask of you."

She felt him inhale a deep breath, felt him realise she was right. But he was still teetering on the edge, not knowing which route was better for her.

Keep her here and watch her be tortured and torn apart day after day while he tried to find a way to get her out - past the wards, the guards, the other Death Eaters, the Dark Lord himself?

Or end her misery and lay her to rest? Say he had gotten into her head and she had known nothing about Potter's plans so he killed her?

Elara tried a different tactic, wrenched out of his grip. She tilted her chin up, meeting his tortured gaze, almost faltered at the agony twisting his features.

"You're just like your fucking father," she said through gritted teeth. "Greedy, evil,  _ weak -" _

If she couldn't make him do it out of pity, maybe she could get him angry enough to do it himself.

Draco's lip curled. "Don't fucking try it -"

"Can't do one thing right, can you?" she hissed, pouring all of her emotion into her words. "You ruined  _ everything.  _ You destroyed everything because you're weak-minded and  _ cruel.  _ You can't care for anyone else but yourself -"

His teeth clenched even as he kept his grip on her when she tried to get out of it. "And yet you still love me."

And even though the words made what was left of her heart throb and her pulse thrum a little bit harder, she didn't hesitate in her answer, staring him down.

"I don't love you. I could never love a  _ monster -" _

He was slamming into her mind before she could complete the sentence and a strangled cry left her throat at the harsh breach.

She'd never learned Occlumency, didn't know how to hide her memories and feelings from him.

So he saw everything. Every single memory she'd ever had of him - from the first time she'd began to crush on him at the beginning of their fourth year when he suddenly returned to Hogwarts taller and sturdier, his hair slightly longer.

When she'd stared at him throughout the Yule Ball while he had Pansy on his arm, watched in childish envy as he moved across the floor with her.

He saw her staring out the window in her kitchen, naively hoping he'd send her an owl even though they hadn't exchanged more than three words at that point.

Saw her fourteen year old fantasies of him confessing that he liked her too, maybe pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

He moved on to fifth year and Elara tried to force him out of her head but failed.

He saw her staring at him from across the classroom in Charms, saw her blushing when he glanced her way. Saw the memory of their first kiss after he helped her up from the floor the night of another Ball where they'd both gone alone and left early. He lingered there as if reliving that moment, the intensity with which their lips touched.

He skipped forward - through all the times they met up in the fifth year. Got to the summer before sixth - when she'd been craving him the entire three months, her little crush having only expanded now that she knew what he felt like, tasted like.

Saw her frustration when she realised it would never be the same for him. That he was only using her to get off.

Saw the time on the train, saw him through her eyes, sneering at her and telling her he didn't want her. Saw Snape cornering her after the Welcoming Feast and giving her the task to spy on him.

Elara was falling. She was spinning through the memories with him now - harsh words thrown from across the Astronomy Tower floor, hexes flying all over the place as he taught her, his unimpressed judgement of her and her skills.

And then - and  _ then - _

When everything had changed. Soft hair speckled with snow, his silver eyes alight with desire that New Year's night in Hogsmeade, right before she kissed him.

His breaths against her lips, the first time he had kissed her like she was fragile and he didn't want to shatter her.

The way she felt seeing him sprawled out on the floor in the sixth floor bathroom, bleeding out and dying. The pure panic that clawed up her throat.

And before that - how she'd held him and ached to soothe him as he cried into her neck, telling her he didn't want to be like his father.

The night of the Ball - one of the best nights of her life. When he'd given her the ring, when he'd made love to her for the first time under a glimmering, shimmering sky of stars.

And all the times after that - tangled up in the sheets, fingers tracing over his features, whispering that she was his against her warm skin. The way her heart swelled at the words, how she thought she'd never be happier than she was when she was with him. The soft feeling of his fingers against her back as they sat under hot water, brushing out tangles in her wet hair and pressing open-mouthed kisses to her shoulder. The Ritz, the way she thought he was the most beautiful person she'd ever seen as he asked her to promise never to stop loving him.

Draco slid into the bad memories too - the fight at the infirmary, the way she'd told him she didn't want him in the library, the way he'd distanced herself from her and told her he didn't love her the night that everything ended. The way he'd looked like a monster to her when she found out what he'd done, the way she had confronted him atop the Astronomy Tower.

And then he saw everything else - everything she'd been trying to hide and dreading the moment he got to them.

Not memories - but hopes and dreams.

With him.

A pretty little house nestled somewhere in the mountains, a rose trellis, the sweet smell of flowers and fresh air.

Draco standing next to her as they looked up at it, her hand in his. A home that was finally theirs.

He saw the dreams of him holding her in their living room, moonlight streaming in through the skylight above, soft music floating in the air around him. Serene.

Him spreading her out on the soft, silk sheets beneath him, looking down at her like she was the only thing he would ever need before he pushed into her, his mouth gentle on hers.

And then -

A small boy - barely two years old - with soft, curly dark hair and stark, silver eyes. Tripping over his tiny feet as he stumbled his way over to his father, collapsed into Draco's arms with a loud, bubbling, baby laugh.

And a girl - even smaller, maybe one year younger - with a white-blond tuft of hair and big caramel doe eyes, giggling as her father lifted her from her cot, reaching small fingers for him.

Maybe a dog - or two. They'd take them for walks in the surrounding forest, watch their children frolick in the flowers, rolling around with the pets. Cool mountain air and quiet surroundings - the only disturbance a gentle breeze or a bird chirping in the distance.

Draco and Elara would have watched their children, her leaning against his side, his strong arm draped over her shoulders, and he would have kissed her temple and murmured -

_ I love you. _

It was ending - she could feel Draco drawing away from her mind.

_ No.  _ She had to show him one last thing.

Somehow, she managed to direct him towards the mangled mess of emotions in her mind. She felt him gasp beside her as her pain washed over him; her guilt, her agony, her rage, her pure despair, her mind-numbing suffering. She let him feel everything she did, every ounce of self-loathing, every piece of regret.

Let him see the memories of Fiona and Lucy - of all the other dead bodies she'd seen. Of the screams that echoed in her head every second she kept breathing.

He retracted from her like he'd been scorched.

They both stumbled backwards from each other, wide-eyed and panting for breath.

Elara's head spun and she reached a hand out, blindly. Felt the rough stone of the wall beneath her fingertips, sobbed when she realised she was still there in the dungeon under Malfoy Manor.

Not somewhere up in the mountains, staring up at a small house, hand in hand with Draco.

But he had felt her pain now and she could see the anguish behind his eyes as her vision cleared. Could see that he knew she  _ did  _ love him - but it wasn't enough anymore.

Nothing would make her want to stay.

Elara's hand moved over her heart, squeezed the fabric of her shirt over it to try and reduce the stabbing ache. She gasped out one word. " _ Please." _

Footsteps sounded above them and both their heads jerked towards the door. Someone was coming.

Wild laughter drifted down towards them and Elara's blood froze over, the ring on her finger feeling heavier. It had protected her before - but it didn't seem to do anything against the Cruciatus Curse. She didn't think it would help her against the various ways of torture Bellatrix would use on her.

Dread curled in her stomach and she almost threw up.

Draco was looking at her like he was going to fall apart there and then. He hadn't said a word since he'd entered her mind and she wondered if he was thinking of the future she'd dreamed of them together, of two little kids who would look up at him with stars in their eyes, a mixture of both Jacobs and Malfoy.

He looked like it had been enough to bring him to his knees.

"Please."

And she knew he now understood. Now that he'd seen how deep her pain reached, how the only thing that would put her at peace was if she was dead. Knew he'd felt a similar way too just last night on the Astronomy Tower as he watched Hogwarts burn.

"If you love me." Her voice broke as she met his eyes. "If you love me."

A shudder ran through him and she saw a tear trace down his cheek. She never thought she'd see him cry like this - over her.

He crossed the distance between them before she could take another breath, sealed her mouth with his. It was hard and scorching and hot and it made Elara submit to it before he tilted his head and softened his lips.

Kissed her like this was the last kiss they'd both ever get - soft, gentle, pleading. Like they were terrified they'd break each other.

She tried to memorise his lips all over again - as if she hadn't already - tried to hold onto the feeling of his warm hands on either side of her face, rings cool.

She wished it would last forever.

But this was a goodbye.

And goodbyes could stretch on forever and still never be long enough.

His lips separated from hers as the footsteps got louder above them, heading for the dungeons. They were coming for her - and it seemed like Bellatrix was at the head of them.

One last, lingering kiss, their tears mixing and Elara didn't know where he ended and she began.

Maniacal laughter - closer now.

Draco stepped back and she'd never seen a man so broken.

His wand was in his hand.

Tears brimmed her eyes and she tried to force them away.

She wanted her last look at him to be crystal clear. Merlin knew it would get her through the next few moments.

Draco looked at her like  _ he  _ was the one about to die. Memorising her. Committing her to memory.

The Death Eaters reached the top of the staircase, leading down to her dungeon. She heard them stop for a moment as Bellatrix yelled something.

Elara pleaded with him through her eyes, begging him, imploring.

He inhaled, sharply, shut his eyes for a split second. When he opened them, they were two glittering silver jewels.

The boy who had no choice.

Had she ever told him the silver of his eyes was her favourite colour?

She caught a whiff of mountain air and roses climbing up the stone walls of a pretty, little house in the mountains. She could almost see it.

"In another life, Elara." His voice didn't waver. "I promise."

It was an  _ I love you  _ \- without actually saying it. It made her smile.

As soon as the spell struck her chest, her mind went blank, her vision dark, her last thought -  _ Draco -  _ and it was over.

**THE END**


End file.
